Fire and Ice
by BreakerOfDays
Summary: "You left, Mikan." He repeated, "I have things watching you - you suddenly disappeared." He paused as he took in her look of horror. "You broke the rules, Mikan. You're mine now." And just like that, her whole life fell apart.
1. Brick by Boring Brick

**Yay, I'm writing!**

**Anyway, I'm Daybreakers, but you can call me Day, or Breakers, or DB, whatever. This is my first story – technically. I have a different file, but I'm posting this on this file, because it's not one of my better writings. I support May Madness!**

**This is based right after Natsume falls away after they meet up!**

Natsume's body fell away suddenly, and Mikan's mouth opened with a gasp of shock.

And suddenly it was gone, vanishing into midair.

She stared down after his body for a while, before finally turning away and lumbering back into her prison.

She repeated what happened in her mind, before her mouth gaped open. "I'm to young to be engaged!" She cried to herself. "I-I'm only eleven! And _Natsume_ of all the people?" she started ranting to herself, earning an odd look from Bear, who had come into her room to keep her company.

_Slam!_

She turned towards her door instantly, and spotted the former ESP, Kuonji storming into her room.

She flinched back as he reached her, eyes portraying her fear, "What is it?" she asked quietly.

"You left." His voice was quiet, dangerous.

She blinked in confusion. "I-I just went onto the balcony."

His palm connected to her face, and she reeled away from him, shocked.

"You _left_, Mikan." He repeated, "I have things watching you; you suddenly disappeared." He paused as he took in her look of horror. "You broke the rules, Mikan. You're _mine_ now."

_4 Years Later_

Kuonji sat before Mikan, calmly sipping a cup of tea. "So," he started, his voice ice cold, "Do you miss your friends back in Gakuen Alice."

Mikan blinked in shock. That had definitely not been the question she was expecting. The last time he had even _mentioned_ her old friends was nearly three years ago. "Of course." She answered, masking her voice to hide her surprise. After multiple events, Mikan had been sent to Alice Academy America, and had learned to sing, and use multiple instruments.

He nodded slowly, contemplating something, "You're going back to Gakuen Alice." He said finally, watching closely for her reaction.

She mind went blank. Then realization poured in. She forced her eyes to un-widen and her voice to come out calm, "When?"

"In two days." He replied evenly.

She blinked a couple of times, "I'm not going." She decided.

He didn't look surprised, "Because you want to bring the Swift twins, right?" he asked emotionlessly.

She nodded determinedly.

"They're coming to. Along with Utau-sensei."

She scowled lightly, "Anything else I was unaware of?" she asked sarcastically.

"You're singing at the Gakuen Alice winter dance. Which is the day we arrive."

-Two Days Later-

"Are we there yet?" Jade Swift whined.

Jamie Swift, her twin brother, sighed, "No, Jade, we're not there yet. Shut up."

Mikan yawned as the twins started arguing, and turned to look at the former-ESP. He was glaring out of the limo's window as they headed to Gakuen Alice. They had taken a plane to Japan, and would be at the Gakuen momentarily.

She sighed, "So I'm singing the first song, three middle songs, and the second to last song onstage, in front of my old peers?" She asked unhappily.

His gaze flicked away from the window and to her, "That's right. You will also be in class 2B of the high-school division, and you three will be special-stars. And Anju Narumi is your home-room sensei."

"Wasn't he an elementary teacher?" Mikan scoffed, hiding her excitement to see the man that had been a fill-in father figure.

"He wanted to keep an eye on Hotaru and Natsume, so he followed them through the years."

Jamie turned away from his argument with Jade, "Sounds like a stalker."

Mikan swatted at him in annoyance.

"Your other teachers are Tsubasa Andou as Special Abilities teacher, Misaki Harada as your gym teacher, Utau as your music teacher and Jinno as your math teacher."

Mikan's eyes widened in shock, "Tsubasa-senpai and Misaki-senpai?"

He nodded, annoyed with the questions.

Mikan paused, "And Jin-Jin? Aw, man…"

Utau smiled at her from her seat, "And me, Mikan-chan!" she cried happily.

Mikan smiled at her, "And you, of course, Utau."

Jade suddenly sat up straight and stared out the window, "Mikan, look!"

Mikan glanced out the window. The gates for Gakuen Alice were up ahead. "It hasn't changed." Mikan noted stoically.

The gate opened, and the limo pulled in.

Kuonji undid his seatbelt and turned to Mikan, "I don't want you to give your name away today. When you are finished your song, you may mingle. But until tomorrow, your identity remains a secret."

Mikan shrugged, "I have a mask in my suitcase. I'll wear it."

Kuonji nodded approvingly, "The dance starts in half an hour. There are twenty songs; you'll be the first, ninth, tenth and eleventh, and second to last."

Mikan made her way onto the stage. Orange lights flickered around, fireflies flew around happily, and silence filled the air as everyone stopped to stare at the surprise singer.

Mikan wore a red dress that ended at her knees, red high heels that clicked loudly in the silence, and a white mask with pink and red petals blowing around on it.

Her gaze drifted over the crowd as she recognized people from her former class. Koko had his hands around Sumire's waist, from the slow dance that had played in the background moments ago, Yuu was sitting at a bench with Ruka and Hotaru, who was leaning against Ruka, Nonoko and Anna were giggling and spinning each other around, and Natsume, in all his glory, was standing at the sidelines, glaring at any girl that dare come near him, which was well over the half of the female population. '_Do they recognize me, too?_' She wondered, somehow doubting that they did. The Mikan they knew looked happy, not angry, annoyed and always in pain. The Mikan they knew wore girly pigtails and polka-dotted panties. The Mikan they knew was dead.

She approached the microphone carefully, waiting for the ESP to come up onstage and introduce her as much as he dared.

When he did so, boo's arose from the crowd, and Mikan smiled as he glared at them, "Good evening students," he greeted through the boo's, "Tonight we have a new student singing. Enjoy." He said blandly.

More boo's erupted from the crowd as he walked to the back of the stage and waited for Mikan to begin.

She smiled at the crowd, enjoying the hate they sent towards the man that had killed her parents, "It's nice to know everyone hates you, Kuonji." She said into the mic, "But remember – No one will _ever_ hate you as much as me." She glared at him dangerously, and he glared back.

With a sniff of disgust, she turned her attention back to the microphone, and the crowd that was awaiting her songs. "Anyway," she started, this time to the crowd, "I'll be sing five songs tonight." Someone in the crowd whooped, and she paused as a few more rose. "I picked all of the songs, except the last, using my MP3 player on shuffle. Apparently I have to much Paramore, because that's the only band I got."

A couple of giggles from the crowd, and someone yelled out, "You like Twilight?"

She scowled, "No, I like Paramore, moron." More giggles. "As I was saying – this is Paramore's song, Emergency."

"_When you deserve to be alive, alive…_" She finished, keeping her voice strong. A round of applause that she didn't care for; she already knew she was good. "I'll be up for songs nine, ten, eleven, and the second to last." She stated, backing away from the microphone. She turned around, rolling her eyes, and looked toward the guitarist, who happened to be Jamie, who was also the male backup singer. Jade rushed over from the drums as Mikan reached him, and they sat on the stage in boredom.

"I love your singing." Jade said to Mikan, admiration shining in her eyes.

Mikan smiled at Jade, "Your awesome back up!" she said with fake enthusiasm – if she didn't act hyper, Jade would throw a fit.

The songs between hers soon ended, and she approached the microphone again, this time with the three songs: Born for This, My Heart, and lastly Let the Flames Begin.

Just as Mikan was turning away again, Kuonji appeared behind her, and handed her a note to read out loud.

She cursed him quietly, and then opened the note to read. "We would like to send our thanks to Hotaru Imai for donating money into this dance. Please come up here to receive applause." Oh, he _would_ make her do this.

Hotaru was beside her in moments, and Mikan did her best to not look at her former best friend, in case of her recognizing Mikan and causing a riot.

Hotaru didn't notice her at all, instead grabbing the microphone, and giving a small speech. Mikan paid no mind to it, instead turning back and sitting with Jamie. Hotaru's speech passed in a blur, and all of it had to do with how people should donate money – to her, or she'd blackmail them, and then leaping off the stage, and going back to sit with Ruka and Yuu.

More boring songs came on, and Mikan sat up, stretching, "Let's go walk around."

"We're not supposed to mingle." Jamie reminded hesitantly.

"We're not mingling, I just want some freaking punch." And with that, she hopped off the stage, followed by Jamie and Jade. "Just remember to not say each others names. Just call me M, and Jamie can be J, and Jade, you can be D." she dodged through the people, heading for the refreshment table, unfortunately close to Hotaru's table.

"I can't believe we're doing _all_ Paramore songs." Jamie huffed, "Can't you do anything else?"

Mikan rolled her eyes. "You know I can. You've known for the three and a half years I've known you."

"I've known you for four years. We just didn't talk until halfway through the first one."

Jade stuffed a small cupcake into her mouth, "Paramore's cool, Jamie. You like them, so why are you complaining?" she asked, mouth full

"He wanted to do Determinate, Lemonade Mouth. Cause he likes rapping." Mikan explained simply.

Jade tilted her head, "I wouldn't have minded that one either," she admitted.

"I chose the songs, not you."

"No you didn't. Your MP3 player did."

"I chose the last one!"

Jamie snorted, "Brick By Boring Brick, another Paramore song."

Mikan growled at him, grabbing a cupcake to take back to the stage, "I really don't like you." She muttered, starting back to the stage, dodging through people again, and ignoring the few that tried to talk to her. She just wanted this to be over with.

Jamie sighed behind her, and the twins hurried after Mikan, also ignoring other people.

She ignored the next songs, and finally it was time for her last song. She took a deep breath and started talking into the microphone, "The last song I will be singing tonight is the one I picked. It's also a Paramore song," she paused as snickers went up. "But I can relate to this one. Maybe a bit to much." She paused thoughtfully, "I used to believe in fairytales, used to think I lived in one," she said at last, "But now… well, now I'm ripping wings off of butterflies, so to speak."

Jamie and Jade started to play the beginning, and she prepared herself, and charged up her mind reading alice and illusion alice; Kuonji couldn't honestly think she wouldn't tell anyone she was Mikan. So she wouldn't. She would send illusions into Natsume's mind, and show him.

_Well, she lives in a fairytale  
>Somewhere too far for us to find<br>Forgotten the taste and smell  
>Of the world that she's left behind<em>

Pictures of her eleven year-old self. Having fun, hugging and bugging Hotaru, the play with Ruka, and her and Natsume under the sakura tree.

_It's all about the exposure  
>The lens I told her<br>The angles were all wrong now  
>She's ripping wings off of butterflies<em>

And suddenly them disintegrating into the new her, slowly. Her eyes growing sadder and deader, her smile fading into a scowl.

_Keep your feet on the ground  
>When your heads in the clouds<br>Well, go get your shovel  
>And we'll dig a deep hole<br>To bury the castle, bury the castle  
>Go get your shovel<br>And we'll dig a deep hole  
>To bury the castle, bury the castle<em>

Her boarding a plane, about to leave for America, tears streaming down her face. The plane taking off, and her mouth opening into a wail.

_So one day he found her crying  
>Coiled up on the dirty ground<br>Her prince finally came to save her  
>And the rest you can figure out<em>

And the night that Natsume found her, just for that brief moment. Simple images of them: talking, Mikan crying, and then them kissing.

_But it was a trick and the clock struck twelve  
>Well, make sure your home<br>Brick by boring brick  
>Or the wolf's gonna blow it down<em>

Natsume falling away, and her walking back into her room in a daze.

Then the door bursting open, Kuonji walking in, furious but somehow gleeful.

He slaps her, and then says something that she won't let Natsume hear.

_Keep your feet on the ground  
>When your heads in the clouds<br>Well, go get your shovel  
>And we'll dig a deep hole<br>To bury the castle, bury the castle  
>Go get your shovel<br>And we'll dig a deep hole  
>To bury the castle, bury the castle<em>

Her landing in America, eyes puffy from crying, and looking around, afraid. Kuonji pushes her towards a limo, and she obediently hops in it, seeing no point in fighting back.

_Well, you built up a world of magic  
>Because your life is tragic<br>Yeah, you built up a world of magic  
>If it's not real<br>You can't hold it in your hand  
>You can't feel it with your heart<br>And I won't believe it_

Her struggling though learning how to sing; her only refuge, distraction from life.

_But if it's true  
>You can see it with your eyes<br>Oh, even in the dark  
>And that's where I want to be, yeah<em>

And then she's in her new room in Alice Academy America, curled up on her bed, her room dark.

And the door opens, and Jamie and Jade are on the other side, both smiling, greeting her into a new life.

_Go get you shovel  
>And we'll dig a deep hole<br>To bury the castle, bury the castle  
><em> _Go get you shovel  
>And we'll dig a deep hole<br>To bury the castle, bury the castle  
><em>

And lastly, a picture of the group –Hotaru, Ruka, Natsume and Mikan, all together- disappearing into darkness, replaced by Jamie, Jade and her, all stoic faced, uncaring postures, dead looks in there eyes.

And it was over.

She looked at Natsume. His eyes were unfocused as the last image faded, and as he finally regained his sense, he looked up at her with wide eyes, then struggled through the crowd to get to Hotaru and Ruka, who were on the other side of the area, having just finished dancing.

She backed up toward Jamie, "Tell Kuonji I'm going for a walk." Before he could reply, she spoke to the crowd again, remembering that she was supposed to use these finishing words: "Thank you all for coming, and making this such a success. Now, everyone, make a Christmas wish."

She kicked in her mind reading alice, and all of their wishes washed into her brain. Almost all the same: "I wish for Mikan to come back."

She felt sick at this.

"Your wishes are so pointless!" She spat into the microphone. People looked at her weirdly, "You'll never understand will you?" she continued, voice wavering. She flew into the air with her levitation alice. "_Mikan Sakura is dead!_" the loud shriek echoed around, and silence followed.

She flew away, blindly crashing through the doors, flying down the halls.

And a wail of sadness rose behind her.

**Good? Bad? Awful? Wonderful? You tell me. I like it personally. I've redone this about… half a dozen times. This is my favorite. I'll update soon if I can – remember, I have another file, so I'll be busy with it, too.**


	2. Nightmare

Mikan leaned against a chain link fence numbly. _Why_ had she just said she was dead? '_Because you are inside._' Her mind supplied dully.

Someone approached her, and she turned around, ready to run in case she needed too. Instead, she relaxed as Jamie waltzed up to her, an amused smirk playing his lips.

"So you're secretly dead?" he asked curiously, though sarcasm dripped from his words.

"The Mikan they knew is." Mikan explained, leaning against him heavily. "Why on earth am I back here?"

"Because you know what Kuonji is capable of if you don't listen." Jamie said grimly, and Mikan had to agree.

She knew far better than anyone else what this devil on earth was able to do.

More footsteps, and then Jade with them, a look of concern on her, "You're really scared, huh?" she asked Mikan quietly.

Mikan smiled bitterly. "Horrified." She confirmed, "Let's go to our rooms, special stars."

The high school special star dorms were all in one small building, both male and female. The trio was loitering outside of their rooms.

"Doesn't that bug the teachers?" Jade asked, "I mean, all alone, both genders, right when our hormones-"

Jamie made a weird, disgusted sound, interrupting her, "I _seriously_ don't need to think that."

Jade snickered at him, a clear indication she had new torture material, "Well, Jamie, when people mature th-"

Jamie smacked a hand over her mouth, just as the entrance banged open, revealing the only three other special stars - Hotaru, Ruka and Natsume. And behind them, Kuonji, who looked furious.

The trios locked eyes with each other, and Kuonji stormed over to Mikan. "What kind of stunt are you pulling?" he demanded, turning her attention to him.

"No stunt. Just the truth." Mikan said breezily.

His eye twitched in anger. "Go to your room. Now." He hissed, "I'll pick you three up in the morning, the HSP wants to talk."

Mikan sniffed defiantly, "Whatever you say." She turned to Jamie, "Night, dog."

"Night, ichigo-kara." He replied evenly, pushing past Natsume to get to his room.

"Night, Jade." Mikan said, ignoring Jamie.

"Night." Jade murmured, scurrying to her room, sending her an anxious glance.

She turned to Kuonji once more. "Sweet dreams, murderer." She hissed, sliding into her room before he could reply.

Mikan lay awake for two hours, mind wandering, panicked, waiting for Jamie to arrive.

It was something they did with each other – have sleepovers. For four years, she had slumber filled with nightmares from her past, and would wake up screaming. Jamie had heard this one night, and she finally admitted her past to him, and neither of them felt safe with her by herself. This way, Mikan would have comfort from her nightmares, and Jamie was more than happy to be there for her, and he came to sleep with her almost every night.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a small tap at her door. She didn't move. It was probably Natsume again; he had been outside her room knocking since Kuonji left. He eventually just gave up and knocked every few moments, but Mikan wasn't ready to ace him yet.

She heard Jamie's voice and sat up instantly, rubbing the sleep from her eyes and moving towards the door.

"What are you doing?" Jamie's voice asked who Mikan presumed was Natsume.

"I need to talk to who I'm sure is Mikan." Sure enough, Natsume's voice replied, "What are _you_ doing here?"

She could here the smirk in Jamie's next words. "Well, I _always_ spend the night in Mikan's room; she needs me."

She opened the door before anything else could be said, throwing herself at Jamie, shaking. "I th-thought you weren't coming." She meant it to come out angry, but it came out high and panicky, and she felt herself trembling as his arms slid around her comfortingly.

She took a deep breath, and pulled away from him, taking a step back into her room, pointing Jamie into it. "In. Now." He obeyed, smirking. "Good dog." The smirk was replaced with a scowl.

Biting her tongue hard, she turned to Natsume. "You should go to bed too." She muttered, trying unsuccessfully to shut the door. She sighed, pushing it open wider, glaring at Natsume's foot, which had been the source of the door not shutting.

"We need to talk," Natsume whispered, voice pleading.

She barely refrained a flinch. "We have nothing to talk about, Natsume." She replied in her ice-cold voice.

He didn't bother hiding the pain that went through him, and he stepped back involuntarily, as though she had actually reached out to slap him. With that one step back, Mikan took her chance and slammed her door shut, locking it, and nullified it and strengthened it with her alice's, before leaning against it with a loud sigh.

She rubbed at her eyes again, preventing tears from falling, and turned to Jamie, who was looking at painfully.

"You really hurt him," Jamie murmured, pitying Natsume and her.

"I didn't have a choice," Mikan snapped, voice cracking. Before he could (Because she knew he would) guilt-trip her further, she pointed out the couch to him, which was conveniently close to her bed, and made her way to her own bed, tossing him an extra blanket and pillow to use, before sorting out her bed properly and falling against is heavily.

Sleep came quicker with Jamie there, and the last thing Mikan heard as she drifted off was Natsume tapping on her door persistently.

"_This is what will happen if you try anything._"

"_No! Let him go! Please!_"

"_Will you listen, no matter what?_"

"_I will! Stop it! STOP IT!_"

"_This could very well end up being one of your friends._"

"_I understand! Please, just let him go!_"

"_You're powerless._"

"_I know! I'll listen, just let him go!_"

"_Very well._" _He turned away,_ "_Finish him._"

"_No! No! Let him go!_"

"_Mikan, run whi-!_" _cut off into a gurgling cry of pain._

"_NO! NO!_" _she collapsed to the ground._

Jamie shook Mikan awake, his eyes portraying his sleepiness and surprise.

The knocking on the door that signaled that Natsume was still there was growing frantic, and she could barely hear him crying out her name.

She stared at Jamie blankly, before sitting up quickly, pushing him away.

They caught gazes, and Mikan noticed how scared he looked. "What did I do?" she moaned, burying her head in her hands, wiping away tears that had strayed down her cheeks in her sleep.

He looked down. "Y-you… you were whimpering mostly… b-but you started saying _his_ name-" Mikan knew who he meant by '_his_'. She had forbade his name to be spoken aloud because it brought her too much pain-"and you were pleading with Kuonji… it was just your memories acting up, but… your scream was a lot more terrified this time." He finished, glancing at her worriedly.

She nodded slowly, and got to her feet, her pajamas clinging to her sweat soaked body. "I saw him… his throat was…" she trailed off, knowing Jamie would understand, and shook her head numbly.

Jamie bit his lip, understanding her pain, and got to his feet as well. "You should probably come outside for some air," he murmured, grabbing a thin blanket and wrapping it around her.

She allowed him to lead her to the door, and she once again became aware of Natsume's knocking. Jamie ignored it, opening the door and pulling her out. She felt Jamie's hands cover her ears as he led her past Natsume, who seemed to have forgotten his calm-and-cool act when Mikan returned, and was babbling relentlessly in an unheard voice.

Jamie kept going, acting like he wasn't there, and leading her outside fully, then removing his hands from her ears.

She let the sounds sink in, relaxing her, and her mind drifted back to her dream.

"You're crying," Jamie observed softly, wiping her cheek gently.

The door snapped open again, and Natsume glared at the two of them, probably not happy about being ignored – or Jamie's hand still on her cheek. "Mikan, we _need_ to talk." He insisted, ignoring Jamie and not taking his eyes off of her.

"_This could very well end up being one of your friends._"

Mikan shook her horrifiedly, "No! He'll…" her voice cut off.

"_You're powerless._"

The conversation repeated in her head, and images flashed along with it. Jamie's face was in front of hers now, and his mouth was moving frantically - probably trying to bring her back from her nightmare.

She built a wall of flames between them, and Jamie backed away from her, still talking unheard words. "_He'll get you too!_" She shrieked, and the wall of flames lifted into the sky, blocking them from her sight. She turned around and ran, hearing the flames go out with Jamie's water alice.

A moment later, Natsume was yelling, furious, scared, and confused, at Jamie, who she was aware was steps behind her. "Mikan, stop!" he cried, picking up speed.

She did too, ripping past trees, leaping over sticks, logs, and rocks that would trip her.

Jamie's hand caught hers, and she stumbled to a stop, allowing him to finally catch his breath. "Baka," he rasped. They stood there in silence for a few moments, before Jamie picked her up. "We're going back to your room."

To weak to fight, she let him carry her back to her room, barely conscious. "He's going to get you, too…" she murmured, slipping into sleeps grasp.

"I know," Jamie replied quietly, and she let go of reality, into a deep, dreamless-and nightmare less-sleep.

**So… I updated. Clearly. Captain Obvious strikes again!**

**Mikan's hiding something, ne? And completely avoiding speaking to Natsume, for reasons that you kind of know. Kind of. **

**Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Spare a review? They make me happy. **


	3. Shut Up!

Mikan woke up with a start, almost ready to run again, before she realized that she was back in her room.

She rubbed her eyes, and almost sat up, before she realized Jamie's hand was pinning her down, though he was out cold.

She moved slowly out of his grip, shoving away the blush was threatening to make its way onto her face; Mikan and Jamie were only friends. They'd discussed this many times, and had to tell others to stop spreading rumors about them. Sure, they were closer than a lot of people, but they would never date each other, even if they flirted on occasion. "Besides," Mikan would tell him jokingly, "_technically_, I'm still engaged to Natsume." Jamie would roll his eyes at her in reply.

She glanced at the clock that hung on her wall, cursing when she saw that it was six a.m., and that Kuonji would be there sometime in the next hour.

Rushing to her closet, which had been packed full of clothes of hers by one of Kuonji's many servants, and picked some clothes off of their hangers –a purple sleeveless shirt, a jean skirt, and a pair of black sneakers- and ran into her bathroom to change.

Just as she was finishing, there was a knock on her bathroom door. "Oi, baka, you should've waken me up." Jamie's voice sounded from the other side of the door.

"Sorry," she apologized simply, "I forgot you were here in my mad rush to change."

"Can I help you?" he asked with a laugh.

She rolled her eyes at the door, and stuck her tongue out. "No."

"You rolled your eyes at me, didn't you? And you probably stuck your tongue out to."

She glared at the door, wondering if it was somehow see-through to him.

"You're trying to glare at me through the door now, right?"

"Go away! I'm changing!" She repeated instead of answering.

"Fine, fine, fine," He relented, "I'll wait by the door."

She heard him walk off, and sighed in relief; it was always awkward changing knowing someone was outside the room you were in.

Quickly, she finished, and brushed her hair neatly.

She looked in the mirror, staring at her reflection, remembering what she used to see when she looked into one: a young, innocent girl with pigtails and a school uniform thrown on quickly as she rushed to school, hoping not to be late.

Now what she saw was completely different.

She had her hair down and brushed behind her back, her happy, yet somewhat panicked at the thought of being late, face was uncaring and bored, she wasn't wearing her school uniform, instead a jean skirt that almost reached her knees, and a purple sleeveless top that revealed a long dragon tattoo that spiraled down her left arm.

She looked away from it in disgust, hurrying towards the door to meet up with Jamie.

"You girls take a long time," He grumbled to her, reaching for the door.

"Like you'd know that," she scoffed. Jamie had never had a girlfriend before, though he'd been asked out many times from fans that almost reminded her of Sumire.

Jamie _was_ pretty good looking, she would admit; with raven black hair that reached down to his shoulders and ice blue eyes that matched his ice and water alice.

"If I want a girlfriend, I'll get one," He told her, pulling the door open.

Mikan pushed past him, walking out first, "Ladies first, Jamie. You must remember that when you _do_ want one." She turned towards Jade's room, and her gaze fell downwards. "You- you're still here?" she sputtered at Natsume, who was sitting beside her door, a rather impatient look imprinted on his face as he looked up at her.

"Of course I'm still here," he snapped, eyes flicking briefly to Jamie, to her tattooed arm, then back to her face. "Did you think I'd leave?"

Mikan glanced at Jade's door, then back to him. "No, but I was hoping you would." He looked ready to start arguing again, so Mikan started. "Would you get a life?" She spat at him. Jamie stiffened beside her, and Natsume eyes widened in shock. She almost expected him to reply 'you are my life,' so she went on. "I have mine!" she thrust Jamie forward. "_Jamie's_ my life. Because unlike _you_, he saved me," She mine as well have stabbed him. "He didn't even have to _try_ and save me." She shoved her face towards Natsume, tears pricking her eyes. "When I look at Jamie, I see the guy that saved my life, and I feel happy for once. When I look at you," she paused taking her face away from his, and looking away, "I feel disgust." She didn't add 'at myself'. She had to get Natsume to stay away from her, to not love her - to _hate_ her.

She started away quickly, not looking at Natsume, when she heard Jamie's voice behind her. "That's hardly fair, Mikan." He drawled, and she turned towards him. He looked disappointed in her. "And here I was, expecting some lovey-dovey stuff."

"And why is it not fair, Jamie?" she asked, voice cracking.

"Because you didn't say all of it," he replied, arms folding in front of him.

She forced her voice to come out calmly, "And _what_ didn't I say?" she dared a look at Natsume, but he was looking down, and she suspected he was holding back tears.

"You didn't tell him what Kuonji did when you left, or why you were screaming last night."

Mikan froze, anger bubbling in her. "No. I didn't tell him that." She agreed. "I haven't told anyone except _you_ that."

"You didn't tell him that when you looked at him you felt disgust at _yourself_." He continued, ignoring how much pain he was causing her.

Natsume's head snapped up, his eyes shining with hope, but confused at the same time.

She said nothing, her eyes still glued to Jamie, waiting for him to continue.

"And you certainly didn't say that you still loved him," he finished, smirking slightly.

She blushed crimson, trying to think of a comeback. "I changed my mind," she said flatly, "I hate you." She turned towards Jade's room, and walked in quickly, ignoring Jamie's laughter, and the blush that lingered on both her and Natsume's faces.

She slammed the door loudly, waking Jade up from her sleep. "Can't you wake me up nicely?" she whined, sitting up abruptly. "Hey, why's your face all red?"

"It's not!" Mikan cried, covering her face with her hands futilely.

"I don't want to know," Jade sighed, getting to her feet. "Jamie probably did something to horribly embarrass you. And probably in front of that guy you like. Natsume, or whatever." She grabbed a school uniform out of her closet and changed quickly, ignoring Mikan's moan of unhappiness. "You're to predictable." She sighed, shaking her head.

"You're too ugly," Mikan retorted angrily.

Jade patted her on the head and skipped out of her room, fully dressed in a Gakuen Alice uniform. Forcing the blush off her face, Mikan followed her.

"You girls take a lo-" Mikan ended Jamie's sentence quickly, by elbowing him in the stomach. "Aw, feeling a little hostile 'cause I embarrassed you?"

She glared at him hatefully, "I am _so_ not your friend anymore, Swift." She grumbled, turning away from him, only to become face-to-face with Natsume. She took a step back in shock, and then glared at Jamie again, " What is this, an intervention?"

"Yup," Jamie said with a nod. "You've got some serious anger issues that need to be fixed."

"_No_." Mikan replied sarcastically, "I would've never guessed." She rolled her eyes at him. "You are stupid."

"Your insultion problem can be sorted out at a later date, lets try and focus on your anger."

"Is 'insultion' a word?" Jade piped in, a look on her face implying that it wasn't, and she knew it.

"No," Mikan replied, shoving Jamie away from her. "Jamie is just being an idiot again."

"You pronounced genius wrong."

"I didn't mean to say genius. I meant what I said."

"Trust me, you said genius wrong."

"Trust me, you are stupid."

"You're just mad because I told Natsume you loved him."

"So _that's_ what you did to make Mikan blush so badly," Jade mused to herself.

"I hate you all," Mikan grumbled, pushing past them to get to the exit.

"Hey, how'd you know she was Mikan anyway?" She heard Jamie ask Natsume behind her. "Cause from what I know, she's completely different now."

"Illusions," Mikan called back to them. "Like hell I'd listen to Kuonji when he said not to tell anyone." She paused glaring at the door. "Where the hell is he anyway?"

Jamie shrugged, and at the same time, Jade sprawled to the ground, a fist shaped bullet bouncing off of her. "What was that?" she shrieked, not daring stand again, and instead curling into the fetal position.

Jamie helped his sister up -against her will-, and Mikan and Natsume turned towards Hotaru's door.

She was indeed there, standing in her doorway, baka-gun pointed toward the group. "You shouldn't interrupt someone's beauty rest." She hissed, voice monotone. She looked like she was about to shut the door, but her eyes locked onto Mikan and Natsume. "Oi, are you really Mikan, or is Natsume insane?" her voice came out cold, but her eyes showed her curiosity and hope.

Her lie caught in her throat painfully. "Same name, different personality." She stated, backing towards Jamie and Jade. She looked at Natsume, "I'm not the same, am I?"

"She's the same." Jamie said beside her.

She glared at him spitefully. "I'm sorry, do I know you?" she elbowed him in the stomach again before he could reply.

Hotaru looked at them suspiciously, "What, no hug?" she asked Mikan.

Jade laughed as though she had said the most hilarious thing in the world.

"I'm not really the hugging type," Mikan explained over Jade's laughing.

Hotaru's gaze flicked to Natsume, who didn't look very surprised. "Well, then you're not Mikan." She said simply, turning back into her bedroom.

Mikan bit her lip hard, before bursting out, "Your full name is Hotaru Imai, you have the invention alice, you have a brother named Subaru who has the healing alice and works as a doctor here. The last time I saw or heard about him, he was working on Nobara Ibaragi, who was in critical condition after attacking Persona, Natsume's tormentor and my real fathers close friend. We became friends because we were going to enter a beauty contest together. We sung Shiawase no Niji and danced.

"Last time I saw you was at my mothers funeral. I turned to wave at you and whole bunch of other people as I was leaving, then I didn't see anyone because Kuonji locked me away somewhere. On the day of the Christmas ball Shiki used one of his alice's to make me and Natsume meet. I'll spare you the details of what happened then. When Natsume left, Kuonji barged in, declared that I had 'technically' left the room, and now I am his play toy. Happy?" Mikan snapped. "I spared you a lot of ugly details that only Jamie knows. Trust me when I say you don't need to hear them." She cast Jamie a look, making sure he wouldn't say anything. His face remained neutral.

Her gaze returned to Hotaru's door, half closed, half opened, and Hotaru standing in front of it, her eyes showing such shock she looked like she would burst.

"If you are okay, please nod." Mikan said dryly after a few moments of Hotaru not even blinking.

Hotaru blinked once, then all but launched herself at Mikan, hugging her so tightly she couldn't breath.

Mikan backed out of her grip, sending an anxious glance at Jamie. "P-please don't hug me…" she stuttered quietly, clinging to Jamie's sleeve. Hotaru's face, tears starting to slide down it, clouded with confusion as she finally allowed her emotions to show. "I d-don't like being touched…"

Hotaru looked at her disbelievingly, and then glanced at Natsume. "Did you touch her at all?"

Natsume shook his head.

Hotaru frowned. "We haven't seen each other for so long, and you don't want anyone touching you?" she shook her head blankly.

Mikan grimaced, and clutched Jamie's shirt harder.

"You're touching him." Hotaru pointed out. "You didn't used to care if you got touched."

Jamie's eyes narrowed at her, his protecting side coming out, and draped an arm casually over Mikan's shoulders. "Mikan doesn't mind if _I _touch her. She trusts me." He said simply, patting Mikan's back reassuringly.

Hotaru looked insulted. "So you're saying she doesn't trust us?" She asked, though it came out as a statement.

Jamie fidgeted in annoyance. "I'm sure she trusts you; but it's different."

"Please elaborate."

He glanced at her, and then turned to Hotaru again. "I've been here for her for four years. I know what happened to her when she left; I know _everything_ that she had to go through. She _showed_ me why she's scared of people by taking me with her to look into the past." He paused, glancing at her again. "Mikan has aphephobia, the fear of being touched,

because of what happened. She's scared to get close to anyone, because she's seen firsthand what can happen to people she loves." He glared at Hotaru. "You're making it seem like she's the bad guy here because she won't accept a hug from you. You make it seem like _you_ went through all of the things she went through. But you will _never _know what kind of pain she's had to live with for so long."

Hotaru's eyes flashed in anger, "I lost my best friend. I thought she was dead for these years. I've been in pain too!" she insisted.

Mikan clamped her hands over her ears. "Shut up!" she shrieked, crouching down in pain. "I hate fighting! _I hate it!_ It isn't my fault! It isn't! I didn't know!"

With a scream of terror, she ran back into her room, ignoring the questions streaming from her old friends to her new friends, who were trying to get into the room she had locked.

"_I didn't know this would happen!_"

**Woah, long chapter much? Well, at least I have an explanation for my few day absence.**

**Poor Mikan, being driven to relive her past because she's back at GA. She lived through such terrors, and you have yet to find out what they are.**

**You can make guesses at what happened, but you'll never be fully correct. Her past is horrifying, and with Kuonji still in charge of her, she lives in the nightmare everyday.**

**Please review, I've only got one, and that makes me sad. Especially cause I've got three people watching this.**


	4. Say My Name

"Go away!" Mikan cried for the umpteenth time, glaring at the door.

"Mikan, it's only me and Jade now, the other two left, _please_ open the door." Jamie called back, worry echoing in his voice. "Class started half an hour ago! Kuonji sent someone to tell us we didn't have to meet with your uncle an hour ago!"

Mikan sighed deeply. "If I come out, you'll pretend this never happened?" she urged.

"None of this ever happened." Jamie and Jade repeated, and Mikan got to her feet, wobbling towards the door unsteadily.

She opened it slowly, and glared out at the duo through the slit she had opened. "I don't wanna leave." She complained, making a face.

Jamie rolled his eyes, "Really, I would've _never_ guessed," he shoved her door open and pulled her out roughly. "Time for class – actually, late for class. C'mon then." He dragged her along, ignoring her complaints.

"You don't even know where the classroom is," she whined.

He pulled out a map. "Kuonji's servant gave it to us. Off we go."

She resumed her whines, making excuses that didn't make sense. "The monkey says to not go."

"There is no monkey. Stop being stupid and whiney."

"No, Jamie. There is a monkey. I'm talking to it."

He fake laughed and pulled her roughly, glaring down at her. "You don't want to seem weak and whiney on your first day, do you?"

Mikan paused. "No," she sighed at last, "But you are a monkey."

He scowled, but didn't reply, instead picking up his pace.

"Late on the first day," Jade mused quietly, reminding them in her own way that she was still there. "Interesting impression we'll have."

"I don't understand why you guys came here with me," Mikan said conversationally. "I mean, Jade, Arden didn't come. Won't you miss him? I mean, you won't be able to talk to each other for a long while."

Jade flashed a guilty smile. "Actually, I _may_ have given him your cells number."

Mikan tried to pause in her tracks, but Jamie kept her moving. "You gave him my number?" she asked with an annoyed look. Kuonji had given her a cell for the sole purpose of having to contact her if she tried to run, or he needed to track her. "And how will he contact me? Does _he_ have a phone?"

Another guilty look. "Well, you know, he has some contacts in America…"

"Oh my God, you gave him my number so you could talk to him." She paused. "You're lucky Arden's a friend of mine. But if he calls me 'babe' I'm smacking you."

Jade laughed nervously. Arden was her boyfriend back in America, and had a tended to call every friend that was a girl –and Jamie on occasion- 'babe.'

Jamie sighed. "Really, guys we're like, five meters away from the classroom, shut up."

Mikan looked toward the door they were now standing in front of. "So we are." She hummed. She pushed Jamie forward. "Gentlemen first."

He scowled at her, but opened the door nonetheless.

The class looked up at them as they entered. Mikan could feel the hostility aimed at her from her recent announcement, but ignored it, walking in after Jamie. Narumi looked toward them, and she could see the hostile glint in his eye as well. '_I can imagine why they don't like me._' Mikan thought, glancing at the class out the corner of her eyes before turning them to Jamie, waiting for him to speak.

"I'd say sorry we're late, but I'm sure none of us are." He started, "And by the looks we're getting, I'm sure we weren't missed."

Narumi's gaze scanned over them, lingering momentarily on Mikan, and a small flicker of confusion entering his eyes. "Ah, well, please introduce yourselves, and I'll assign you partners and seats." He said quietly, and Mikan couldn't help but notice the sadness in his eyes. She turned away guiltily.

"I'm Jamie Swift," Jamie introduced simply. "My I have two alices, water and ice."

Jade stepped up next. "I'm Jade Swift," she chirped. "My alices are also water and ice. Guess that came with me and Jamie being twins."

The attention turned to Mikan, and she glowered at the class. "My name is none of your concern."

There was a couple of grumbles of annoyance, but she ignored him, daring Narumi to challenge her with her eyes.

He didn't challenge her, but sent her an odd look. "Well, uh, your partners… Jamie, you can be partners with Nonoko Ogasawara, and Jade you can be partners with Anna Umenomiya." He paused as Jamie and Jade walked towards the girls with their hands up. "And uh, nameless, you can be partners w-"

Mikan cut him off quickly. "I'll be partners with…" she looked over the crowd, before her eyes landed on Natsume, sitting in the back with Ruka. "I'll be partners with Natsume Hyuuga."

Narumi looked at blankly, then turned to Natsume. "It's your choice, really Natsume." He said quietly.

"I don't think he has any complaints about me being his partner." Mikan said before he could answer for himself.

"Why do you have a tattoo?" Sumire blurted out suddenly, her eyes examining the dragon tattoo.

Mikan glanced at her arm, eyes following the patterns of it. "Because I wanted one."

Sumire frowned at the answer. "Wouldn't your parents not like it?"

"I don't care what they think of it." Mikan replied, hiding the sting of the question.

"I'm sure they're ashamed of you." She heard Narumi say under his breath bitterly, probably thinking of her announcement again.

Ouch. That stung.

She whirled around to face him, eyes narrowing into dangerous slits. "Then it's a damn good thing they're dead isn't it?" she spat at him, watching his eyes widen guiltily at being caught, before stalking towards her self-assigned seat beside Natsume.

She didn't listen to the lesson as it started, staring out the window instead, ignoring the gazes that were watching her closely.

Ten minutes later, also ten minutes to the end of class, the door opened again, and her uncle's head peeped in, catching her attention.

She had seen her uncle once since she left when he came down to visit her in America, but he wasn't supposed to tell anyone he saw her.

He looked at Narumi, smiling lightly. "Hello, I just wanted to make sure your new students got here safely. He looked over at her and smiled, beckoning her over to him.

She scrambled quickly to her feet, running over to her uncle happily.

He laughed at her eagerness and picked her up, swinging her in a circle.

She allowed him to. He was her only living family member now, and she knew she could trust him.

He set her down, rubbing his back. "Well, that'll probably put it out for the week." He laughed again, then ruffled her hair. Suddenly Mikan was aware of the looks she was getting, so she stifled her happiness slightly.

Kazu turned to Narumi, a curious look on his face. "I don't suppose she mentioned her name?" Narumi shook his head, and her uncle's eyes flicked to her. "Introduce yourself, and I'll take you to visit for awhile." He offered, smiling down at her again.

She returned his gaze. "I don't want to."

"Introduce yourself." He insisted.

She rolled her eyes at him. "And we can spend the day with each other?" she asked hopefully. He nodded, and she turned to the class. "My main alices are SEC and nullification." She began, biting her lip slightly. "If that doesn't give away who I am, then you must be very slow. My name is Mikan Sakura Yukihara." She added before threading her arm through her uncle's, ignoring the questions, gasps, and thumps of people falling from fainting. "Now, if you will excuse me, I have time to spend with my uncle." She said in a singsong voice. She looked at Jamie and Jade quickly. "You two, come with me. I'm sure questions will be asked, and I don't need anything slipping." She paused. "Natsume, Hotaru, Ruka, Narumi-sensei, you guys too. I probably have some questions to answer."

Jamie and Jade were at her side in an instant, soon followed by an awkward looking Natsume and Hotaru, and a dazed looking Narumi and Ruka.

"But I'm not going to answer all of your questions, so don't get your hopes up." She added with a pointed look at Natsume and Hotaru.

**Ta-dah! Another update so quickly.**

**I'd like to thank my reviewers (Especially xXpiex. That was hilarious and awesome and nice!)**

**Not very long(But long enough.) and no Mikan break downs~ Yay~  
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	5. Anywhere But Here

Mikan sat in front of the seven, stirring a cup of tea in boredom. "Honestly, we've been here for fifteen minutes. If nobody's going to say anything I'll leave." She growled out impatiently, glaring them.

At last, something happened; Ruka fell out of his chair.

Jade snorted in amusement and Jamie face-palmed.

But the skill of moving and talking was finally restored.

Her uncle smiled at her, but she could see the sadness in his eyes as he saw her changes. Nevertheless, he lunged at her, giving her another hug and a large smile. Then, turning to Jamie and Jade, whom he had met on his one visit, he smiled at them too. "Jamie, Jade, nice to see you two again."

Jamie nodded respectively and Jade smiled somewhat shyly.

Narumi's mouth gaped open. "You've met before? But that means you've went to see Mikan…?" he exclaimed, eyes wide. He sent a guilty look at her, and Mikan was sure he was thinking of his earlier bitter comment.

Her uncle grinned sheepishly. "Well… maybe."

Three glares were sent his way. Ruka might have been glaring at him, too, but he was still on the floor, and Mikan couldn't quite see him to know.

"And you didn't say anything?" Hotaru hissed, cocking her baka-gun.

Kazu visibly gulped. "I'd like to remind you that I am your principal, Miss Imai."

Hotaru thought this over, before shooting at him anyway.

Mikan leaned forward and caught it quickly while her uncle cowered slightly.

Hotaru glared at her, and Mikan examined the small fist-shaped bullet. She tossed it back towards Hotaru, who shoved it in her obscenely large pocket. "Good reflexes." she grumbled, narrowing her eyes.

Mikan smirked. "You learn things."

"So," her uncle interrupted, "How's your singing coming?"

Mikan sipped her tea before answering. "Didn't you see me last night?"

"Well, yes, but are you enjoying it?"

She shrugged. "It's a good distraction." She paused, eyes growing distant. "I need distractions."

Jamie snapped his fingers in front of her face, bring her back from her memories.

"Um," she paused, biting down on her lip, a habit she had grown, "Yeah. I like singing and I'm good at it."

Her uncle nodded, but she could see his curiosity, and confused glances were shared with the others, minus Jamie and Jade, who knew better than to wonder about Mikan's past.

She looked out the window, avoiding their eyes. "Singing's a foolish thing though…" she said, eyes narrowing as she stared outside. "Barely anyone can actually make it big. I don't want to be big… I don't want distractions…" Jamie nudged her in attempt to shut her up. "I should concentrate on my anguish. I should concentrate on revenge…" Her stoic demeanor was fading quickly, and she felt tears build in her eyes.

Jamie bent down to whisper quickly in her ear. "What are you doing? I thought you weren't supposed to tell anyone about this!"

She smiled at him blankly. "But why should I hide it? You're not supposed to hide things. It's wrong." The tears flowed freely now. "Grandpa told me that."

Fear was building in Jamie's eyes as he realized that her sanity was slipping in front of his eyes.

"Don't look so scared. What's there to be scared of? The truth is good… isn't it? _Isn't it?_" she demanded, eyes narrowing at him. Without waiting for him to reply, she continued. "Of course it is," she answered herself, smiling. "Grandpa said so. And he's always right. About everything."

Jamie snatched her hand and lead her to the side of the room, frowning. He used his sleeve to wipe her tears away, and glanced towards the others.

Mikan followed his gaze.

Narumi and Kazu were whispering to each other, casting the occasional look towards her. Ruka had sat back on his chair and was looking at everyone weirdly, like the world didn't make sense anymore. Hotaru was watching her with suspicious eyes, and Natsume was staring at her, eyes unreadable.

She turned back to Jamie. "What? Is something wrong?" she asked, growing impatient.

He turned back towards her. "Good, you're feeling impatient. That means your sanity's returning."

She glared at him. "Did my sanity leave?"

He paused. "Yes, and by the look in your eyes, its still gone." He paused thoughtfully, before an evil smile made its way onto his face. "I know…"

She took a step back from him, watching him warily.

Then a wave of water fell down on her.

She cried out in shock and shook some of the water off her before glaring at Jamie. "You bastard! I'm going to kill you!" Jamie laughed, and she lunged at him, eyes blazing furiously. "That was cold, dammit!"

Jamie jumped away from her. "She's back." He declared, slipping behind a couch on the far side of the room.

"Come out here you wuss!" Mikan yelled, trying to claw at him under the couch, but missing by only a few centimeters. "I'm going to rip your intestines out one at a time!"

There was a knock on the door, and it opened quickly, taking Mikan's attention away from Jamie.

Kuonji was standing at the door, staring down at her emotionlessly. "Sorry to interrupt your… _fun_." He glanced at the others in the room, then back to where Mikan was sitting, and Jamie poked his head out from behind the couch. "But I need to speak to Sakura."

Jamie hopped out from behind the couch, glaring defiantly. "Whatever you need to say to her can be said here. In front of everyone."

Mikan silenced him with a look, and turned to Kuonji, trying to look dignified even though she was still dripping wet. "It doesn't matter. What can he possibly do to hurt me more?" she walked toward him, glancing behind her at Jamie.

Kuonji smirked. "I guess you're about to find out."

Mikan's breath caught in her throat, but she walked out into the hallway.

He shut the door quickly and turned to her, eyes glowing with malice. "Your room has been moved." He said instantly.

Mikan's eyes widened. "What? Why?" Out of the corner of her eye she caught the door opening a crack, and two pairs of eyes look out at her.

He smirked down at her. "You can't stay with Jamie all your life. Or Jade, Hotaru, Ruka, Natsume. You need independence." He paused as her brain started catching up with his idea. "You're being moved back into the labyrinth mansion."

She stepped back in horror. "No!" she shook her head violently. "You can't send me back there!"

A cross of amusement and annoyance was on his face. He leaned down so his face was inches from hers. "I can do whatever I want with you." He smiled coyly. "You're _mine_, remember? Not Jamie's, not Natsume's, _mine_."

"You wish." She snarled. "I'm _mine_."

All the traces of amusement disappeared from his face, and he narrowed is eyes angrily. "You still won't give up, will you?" he snapped down at her.

She glared spitefully at him before spitting on his shoe.

His hand caught the side of her face quickly, and she stumbled back from the force, hitting her head roughly against the wall. The room span, and she caught the eyes staring at her, and recognized Natsume's bloody crimson ones and Jamie's ice blue ones.

She slid down the wall dizzily, and she heard Kuonji's footsteps carry him away as he called over his shoulder, "I'll take you back there later."

She struggled to her feet when she was sure he was gone, and leaned against the wall, staring down as she caught her breath. Red was staining the floor, she realized, and touched the side of her head numbly. She took it away and looked at the blood on her fingers. She wiped her hand on her shirt, breathing heavily, wondering why Jamie wasn't out here yet.

"What are you two staring at?" she heard Kazu demand. "What's wrong with you two, you're white as sheets."

Suddenly he was at the door, looking at her. His face registered quick shock, and he turned back to the room. "Call the paramedics!" he screamed at who she could only assume was Narumi.

Why? She wondered. Was there emergency care for nightmares?

The hall resumed spinning, and she felt her body tilt forward. Jamie cursed and ran out just in time to catch her.

Blackness fogged her vision.

She laughed airily.

"Take me away, like you promised…"

**Yay~**

**Another chapter~**

**And Mikan breakdown's. Again.**

**And now we shall see some of her past. Some. **

**Anyone read VC Andrews books? Called Jade, by any chance? Did you catch the line I used from that book? It was, "Call the paramedics!" and "Why? She wondered. Did they have emergency care for nightmares?"**


	6. Pocket Full of Sunshine

"_That's what happened to you?" Jamie asked incredulously._

_Mikan nodded blankly, avoiding his eyes. "Yes." She turned to look at him finally. He was watching her with eyes full of pity. "Don't look at me like that!" she cried angrily. "It's pity that got me here in the first place!"_

_He looked away. "Your past is worse than mine."_

_Mikan tilted her head. "What happened to you and Jade anyway?"_

_He frowned bitterly. "I think we've had enough tragedy for one night."_

"_But you will tell me one day, right?" she asked. "I told…er, showed you mine."_

_He nodded. "But not tonight. When I'm ready I'll tell you." He added._

_She nodded understandingly. "I'm almost convinced that I'm dreaming, and that I'll wake up and you won't know a thing."_

_He pinched her, earning him a squeak of pain and protest. "No, you and me are both awake."_

"_Gee, thank you so much."_

"_You're welcome."_

"_I hate you."_

"_Love you too. Now… what?"_

_Mikan shrugged._

"_Well… I don't feel safe with you sleeping by yourself." Jamie continued._

"_I haven't felt safe for a year and a half. Period."_

"_I'm spending the night with you. Is that okay?"_

"_Try anything and die."_

"_I wasn't planning on it. But now that you mention it…"_

"_Please stay with me," Mikan whispered, looking down in embarrassment. "I don't think I can handle being alone anymore…"_

"_You got it. Where can I sleep?"_

"_On the floor."_

"…_Is that all you've got?"_

"_No, I have this bed. But it's mine."_

"_Well, move over. Like hell I'm sleeping on the floor."_

_She moved over obediently, and he crawled in next to her._

"_What, no glow-in-the-dark T-rex toys?"_

"_You're so immature. Lay off the internet for awhile."_

"'_Kay."_

"…_what happens if I scream in your ear in the middle of the night?"_

"_I'll scream back."_

"_Seriously."_

"_I'll wake you up, _then_ scream back."_

"_Better, but not exactly what I was looking for."_

"_I'll comfort you. Better?"_

"_Very…"_

"_What?"_

"_I wish we could leave." Mikan said wistfully. "Just run away from all of our troubles, forget all of the bad things… be free."_

_Jamie smiled at her for the first time. "One day, I'll take you away from here. Away from all of the troubles that we've both faced." He promised. "I'll take you away from everything, and we can be happy together."_

_And she smiled at him for the first time, and a flutter of hope woke up in her chest. "I'm glad you're here with me… remember, that even though I'm a jerk, I do love you."_

Mikan woke up slowly, eyesight fuzzy.

Then she was suddenly aware of the pain in her head.

"Ow!" she sat up quickly, taking in her surroundings as her eyes caught up with her brain. Jamie was on a chair beside her, fast asleep. She patted his head, then continued looking. She was in a white room, so she was probably in a hospital. She glanced to her other side, and was surprised to see Natsume sitting in the chair on the other side of her, watching her curiously.

"What are you looking at?" She snapped at him, then clutched her head painfully.

"You and Jamie were talking to each other even though you were both asleep." He said, an almost jealous glint in his eyes.

She froze. "What did I say?"

"The first thing you said was something about not liking pity… you guys bickered in a weird flirty kinda way."

Now she understood his annoyance. "Like we used to do." She said nodding to herself.

"Then you said you wished you could run away from everything. Be free. Something like that." Natsume continued, not hearing her comment. "And Jamie said-"

"Jamie said, '_One day, I'll take you away from here. Away from all of the troubles that we've both faced. I'll take you away from everything, and we can be happy together._' And I replied, '_I'm glad you're here with me… remember, that even though I'm a jerk, I do love you._'" Mikan recited by heart. She hummed to herself when Natsume nodded. "Nothing else? I stopped there, and didn't start with anything before that?" Natsume nodded again. "Good." She paused, a wave of sadness washing over her. "Nothing else…" she repeated to herself. "Nothing else needs to be spoken about my past…" she whispered more to herself than Natsume.

He still looked annoyed and jealous.

"Don't look like that." Mikan said quietly. "I _hate_ unhappiness. Me and Jamie have enough of it for everyone…"

Now he looked annoyed, jealous, _and_ curious. "I will find out what happened, you know that."

She nodded slowly, a smile forming on her lips. "Of course." She nodded more surely. "People engaged shouldn't hold secrets from each other…"

A small smile found Natsume's face at last.

They stared at each other for a moment before Mikan looked away. "My past is dark, Natsume…" she warned. She paused, looking at Jamie, "And I don't know what you think about me and Jamie, but we're not dating or anything… we do love each other but not in the lets-go-get-married kinda way, like… I dunno. More than brother-sister love… It's like the lets-get-married kinda love, but we don't actually want to get married. It's just that strong." She scowled at herself. "I really don't know how to explain it. That's the best I can do." She looked back at Natsume. "Actually, Jamie might love me more than anyone – even you."

Natsume looked at her unbelievingly. "Yeah right." He scoffed. He paused thoughtfully. "You… awhile after I saw you on Christmas I heard you calling me again." He hesitated as though he thought he was being stupid. "You were crying, and screaming desperately for me… right?"

["_Don't touch me!"_

"_C'mon now, cooperate…"_

"_No! Natsume, help me!"_]

Her mind clouded. "I just wanted them to leave me alone…" she whispered to herself. "I thought magic would send help. I thought you would show up if I called enough…" her heart rate picked up speed and Mikan breathed harder.

Natsume's hand touched hers, and she flinched away instinctively, holding her hand close to her chest. '_It's just Natsume,_' she reminded herself, '_He won't hurt you._' She grabbed Natsume's hand, squeezing it so tight she was sure she cut off the circulation to his fingers. He squeezed back just as tightly.

They leaned towards each other simultaneously, and Mikan felt her heart pick up speed as Natsume's breath fanned her face. Their lips just made contact when-

"Hey, if you're gonna do that, can you make sure I'm not awake first?" Jamie asked behind them.

Mikan drew away from Natsume quickly, turning to Jamie. "Y-you should have said something earlier!" she cried, blushing furiously.

"I didn't think you two would go so far as to kiss." He admitted, shrugging.

"How long have you been awake?" She demanded, attempting to shove away the blush, and failing.

"Since you said that I might love you more than Natsume loves you."

"You've been awake that long?" she shrieked shrilly.

He nodded, smirking.

"And you couldn't wait just _one more minute_?" she was sure Natsume was smirking at her impatience to kiss him, but she paid him no mind.

"No."

"I hate you."

"Love you too."

"Oh, hey did you know we talk to each other in our sleep?" Mikan asked, changing the subject.

"No. How would I know that? I'd be asleep."

"Yeah. Well, we talk to each other. Rather, I was remembering when you promised to take me away, and you replied word for word what we actually said to each other."

He hmm-ed interestedly, "Cool. I'll remember that you talk in your sleep. Not that I didn't already know that you said things. But you reply."

She nodded uncaringly. "Now, please leave."

"Huh?"

"Leave. I'm letting you off the hook for splashing me, but if you don't leave me and Natsume alone _now_, I will hurt you."

He glared at her. "Don't do anything you'll regret." He warned, winking at them, and then walking out with a small wave of farewell.

She turned back to Natsume, who was looking somewhat smug. "You _really_ want to kiss me, don't you?" he asked in amusement.

She glared at him. "Yes. I do." He looked almost surprised at her bluntness, but his smirk grew. "But I won't unless you stop being so damn smug about it and mocking me. Because I'm sure you want to kiss me too."

He didn't disagree instead leaning towards her again, smirk still on his face.

**So… not a cliffie, yay. And two updates. Yay x2**

**A little more given away. Some things are kind of obvious about Mikan's past, but whatever.**

**YAY MxN~**

**Sorry, moment of happiness about me finally getting them together.**

**Please review!**


	7. How Could This Happen To Me?

"Cock-blocked!" Jamie yelled, launching himself back into the room, interrupting the two again.

Mikan ripped away from Natsume, once again, turning to glare spitefully at Jamie. "Why are you back? And 'cock-blocked'? What did you think we were going to do, have sex in the hospital?"

"Kinky." Natsume and Jamie said in unison, then proceeded to look at each other oddly.

"Uh," Jamie started again. "No, I meant… lip-blocked?"

"Uh-huh. What are you doing here?" she snapped impatiently.

"Your uncle is giving me ten bucks to cock-block you." He said, shrugging. He made his way over to the two, shoved Mikan to the opposite side of the bed and sat between them, grinning. "So… what are you two _talking _about?" he asked, putting meaningful emphasis on the word '_talking_'.

"Screw you."

"You would like to, wouldn't you?"

Mikan smacked her forehead in annoyance.

"You can't deny it. You know you want me." He clicked his tongue and winked at her.

Mikan shoved her face into the hospital pillow, groaning in annoyance.

"Damn, she really wanted to kiss you, huh?"

She sent a well-aimed punch his way, then sat up, watching him grimace in pain. "Why am I in the hospital?" she asked, suddenly remembering where she was.

"Concussion." Jamie replied.

"Okay. Why do I have a concussion?"

"You hit your head." He continued, an annoying smirk on his face.

She turned to Natsume, hoping he would tell her.

"He's right. You hit your head."

"I know that! You need to hit your head to have a concussion! God, you guys are conspiring against me!"

"Kuonji pushed you." Natsume said at last.

"I'm quite aware that Kuonji is the reason I'm here. _Why_ did he put me here?" she snapped, glaring at the ceiling.

Natsume looked at her weirdly. "Has this… happened before?"

"Yes. Multiple times. I should probably stop talking back. It's rather painful."

"He's _hit_ you before?" Natsume demanded, standing up abruptly, eyes blazing with fury.

"You should be glad he hasn't killed me yet." She sighed heavily. "But I really wish he just would…"

Jamie's eyes shifted away from her, and Natsume looked like she had actually punched him in the stomach with that comment.

"You… want to be… dead…?" he forced out, looking sick. "You can't be serious!"

Her face clouded darkly. "Maybe we shouldn't talk to each other, Natsume." Jamie pinched her in attempt to quiet her. "You'll never understand the pain I've lived through." She sunk into the hospital bed. "You'll never look at me the same. I'm not the same." She felt tears force out her eyes and wondered how many time just this week she had cried. "Everything's different."

"Tell me what happened." Natsume pleaded again, and her gaze flicked over to him numbly. "_Let_ me understand. I can handle it!"

Anger rushed through her. "Jamie, leave." She commanded.

He looked at her hesitantly, but left anyway.

Mikan sat up as the door shut, glaring at Natsume. "You can't _possibly_ handle it!" she shrieked, getting awkwardly to her feet. "Not even _I _can handle it!" She reached forward to shove him, but he caught her hands in his. She tried to wrench her hands free, but he gripped them tighter, his eyes pleading with her.

"_Don't touch me!_" she screamed at him, trying again to pull away. "I hate being touched!" she pulled back violently, willing his hands to stop touching her, wishing she hadn't sent Jamie away. She crouched to the ground, fighting away her memories.

"Why can't you tell me?" she heard Natsume cry at her.

[_"Hey, little girl. What's you name?"_

"_I'm not supposed to talk to strangers anymore."_

"_Well, tell me you name, and then we won't be strangers." He said, starting to grow impatient. "Are you alone?"_

_Why were his friends advancing on her?_

"_Why can't you tell me, little girl?"_

_She backed away._]

A scream erupted from her throat, and Natsume flinched, but didn't let go.

She tried to attack him with her lightning alice, but her alices swirled out of control.

A small flame, sparks, ice, water, the sudden hearing of Natsume's horrified thoughts.

An illusion.

It stuck as her memories washed forward.

[_She knew where she was. Why had Kuonji taken her so close to her grandfather's house?_

_She turned around, making sure Kuonji wasn't anywhere near her, before she took off again._

_If she could get far enough away, she could be free._]

Mikan let out a bloodcurdling scream as the illusion played before her and Natsume, and she heard someone running down the hall suddenly, but the footsteps were far away.

[_"Hey, little girl, are you lost?"_

_She turned quickly, almost expecting to see Kuonji's thugs._

_She felt her shoulders relax as she looked at the stranger, though she knew she shouldn't let her guard down._

"_Are you lost?" he repeated, stepping towards her, smiling lightly. She noticed his friends behind him snickering. "Hey, little girl. What's your name?"_

_She took a small step back away from him. "I'm not supposed to talk to strangers anymore." She said firmly, remembering her experience when she was looking for Hotaru and almost got kidnapped._

"_Well, tell me your name, and then we won't be strangers." He insisted, stepping closer, impatience lighting up his features. "Are you alone?"_

_His friends started towards them. Why were they wearing such ugly smiles?_

"_Why can't you tell me, little girl?" he reached out towards her, and she stepped back again._

"_Don't touch me!"_

_His friends continued to advance, and he scowled down at her, reaching forward and grabbing her arm before she could react. He tossed her to the ground, eyes losing their false friendly look. "C'mon now, cooperate…"_

"_No! Natsume, help me!"_]

Mikan scream grew louder, and she yanked her hand out of Natsume's grasp, clawing desperately at her eyes to remove the images.

The door slammed open, and she heard Jamie yelling frantically above her own screams.

[_The guy looked around as though expecting someone to run and save the day, before sneering down at her. "No one's going to save you. Give it up."_

"_He'll save me! He always saves me!"_]

Natsume's hand let go of her as Jamie shoved him away, embracing her tightly. "Come back." She heard him whisper, prying her hands away from her scratched up eyes.

[_"Well, he won't this time." He smirked down at her, and all at once his friends pinned her down. "You're on your own this time, little girl._

_She struggled desperately to get out of their grips, but they tightened with disturbing strength, and she cried out in pain. One of them twitched slightly, not expecting her sudden outburst, and her left hand escaped, and she scratched one of the people's eyes._

_He growled in pain, and drew a knife out of his pocket. "How do you like your eye being scratched!" he cried out angrily, bringing the knife down towards her left eye._

_She screamed in pain as he dragged the blade along her slammed-shut eye and red clouded her vision and thoughts._

_It barely registered to her that one of the people had gotten her shirt half off, and she screamed once more for Natsume to save her…_]

She tried to scream again, but her voice was lost from so much before, and instead she desperately held onto the left side of her face. Jamie was cradling her, whispering in her ear to calm her, but she couldn't hear anything, just the screams that echoed from her past.

'_Where are the doctors?_' she wondered, her head lolling to the side. '_Kuonji probably told them not to check on me._'

She caught sight of Natsume sitting by her, face half buried in her shirt, but it was tilted enough so he could watch her face.

'_Why am I not in a mental institute?_' she thought blankly, staring back at Natsume.

He caught her gaze, and his mouth formed the word 'sorry' repeatedly.

She stared at him, watching blankly as he continued to say it. What was he sorry for? He hadn't raped her.

She reached out and grabbed his hand, dropping the possession she had created in her alice frenzy.

She let go, and he looked into his hand, face distraught.

'_Don't look like that._' She thought blearily. '_I hate unhappiness. Me and Jamie have enough of it for everyone…_'

He looked back up at her, face crumpling in unbearable pain and sadness, and shook his head, his string of apologies continuing.

The dark cloud that was so familiar made its appearance, willing her to let go of the world, even for a little while.

"_Help me,_" she mouthed back to Natsume, slumping into Jamie's arms as the cloud loomed forward.

Her hearing came back before she left, and she heard Jamie tell Natsume to find the paramedics.

He jumped to his feet, dropping the alice-stone she had just given him, and running to look for the closest doctor.

"Good night, dog…" she whispered, trying to smile reassuringly at Jamie.

He let out a mixture of a sob and a laugh. "Come back soon." He whispered back, kissing her forehead.

"'Promise…" she replied weakly, allowing the cloud to finally consume her and send her into nothingness.

**I think I'm getting a little better with the emotional battles. That's not good, is it?**

**SO YES! MIKAN WAS RAPED, sEcretmiNdLoLITA!**

**Anyway, just in case anyone asks: No, I have never been raped. I'm probably reading too much VC Andrews.**

**My depression is just… strong enough to help me write this. It's like… getting out some of my personal anguish.**

… **Am I a bitch? Because this isn't all Mikan went through. Remember the nightmare she had in chapter 3? So, yeah. More anguish-y angst-y stuff for you guys.**


	8. The Fight

Mikan's eyes blinked open, and she sat up instantly, ignoring the throbbing pain in her head. Where was she? She turned her head to the left and flinched when she saw two people there.

Why did they look so sad? '_I hate unhappiness._'

One of them jumped to his feet, realizing she had awoken.

The second one held him back and got to his feet slower, then walked towards her. He leaned towards her. "Do you know who I am?"

She blinked blankly at him, then opened her mouth to say no. Nothing came out of her mouth, and her face twisted in confusion before she shook her head.

He leaned away, nodding, then turned to the other one, who looked unbelievably shocked. "It's because of her memories." He explained. "Her memories will return, but because of what happened earlier, she repressed them." He paused, glancing at her. "Jade did the same thing with out memories."

"What happened to you and Jade?"

He narrowed his eyes almost spitefully. "Do you _really_ think you should be asking more about the past after what you did?"

The first one looked down regretfully.

Mikan watched them impatiently. '_I'm still_ _here!_' she wanted to scream at them, but her voice was gone, and her throat ached.

As though reading her thoughts, the one with blue eyes turned back to her. "Do you remember your name?" he asked curiously. When she nodded, he handed her a pad of paper and a pen. "Write it down."

She did so easily, watching him suspiciously.

"Okay, good." He said, looking at the paper. "So you don't remember me?" he repeated.

She looked at him weirdly, before writing _Jamie_ on the paper, though she didn't really know how she knew.

He looked impressed. "But you don't really know much else about me, do you?" he persisted.

She scowled at him then wrote _annoying_ next to his name.

He laughed.

He pointed behind him at the other person. "Do you know him?"

She looked at the other boy, his crimson eyes hopeful. She wrote _Nat_ on her paper before her face scrunched in confusion and she shook her head.

Jamie peeked at the paper, then smiled. "His name is _Nat_sume." He told her. "You're doing a lot better than you usually do with your… problems." He paused as she glared daggers at him. "Do you know anything about him?"

_He really wants me to remember him._ She wrote after examining his face.

"Anything else?"

She paused, then grinned. _He's hot._

Amusement flickered in both of their eyes as she smiled at them, pleased with herself. While she had their attention, she scribbled _Thirsty._

Jamie grabbed a cup of water from a table at the corner of the room and brought it over to her. "Write thank you." He commanded, handing her the plastic cup.

She ignored him and gulped it all down then handed the cup back to him, pointing at the word _Thirsty_ again.

"You just drank a whole cup."

She pointed to it again, and he sighed, placing his hand over the cup. In moments it was refilled. She examined the water suspiciously before drinking it all.

"Holy crap she's thirsty." Natsume commented.

"Well, she screamed her throat raw. She probably just doesn't want to admit it hurts."

She threw the now-empty cup at Jamie. It bounced off him harmlessly and floated to the floor.

Then she burped loudly, and Jamie smacked his forehead. "Okay, write down some other things. What _do_ you remember?"

She looked blankly down at the page.

_The explosion in which my mother died_

_My father having the life sucked out of him_

_The rape._

_The murderer._

_The blame._

_The abuse._

She paused, staring at the page as the memories filled her head.

_Hotaru_

_Ruka_

_Natsume_

_Narumi_

_Uncle Kazu_

_Jade_

_You_

Where were all of these hidden things coming from? How could she not know one minute, and remember everything the next?

_Kuonji_

_The labyrinth mansion_

_Being locked away_

_Engagement_

_Sent away._

_Raped._

_Blinded._

_Gagged._

_Taken away again._

_Grandpa._

She opened her mouth in a silent scream, and Jamie reached out to take the pen and paper away from her as she wrote a few last words.

_Singing_

_Distraction_

_Hiding_

_Avoidance_

_Nothingness_

_Dead_

He grabbed the pen and she snatched it away.

_My fault._

_All of it._

_Mine._

Jamie yanked the paper away from her, tossing it messily to Natsume.

She dug the pen into her flesh, willing all of the blood out of her body, to leave the empty shell that used to be her.

He fought the pen away from her, tossing it behind him, then cursed as he saw her bleeding arm. Snapping into action, he ripped the sheet that was underneath her, wrapping the torn piece around her arm, holding her down so she couldn't do anything.

She struggled underneath him, trying to undo the knotted fabric and be able to move. She shook violently as her mind replayed horrible scenes, and she stopped struggling.

"Natsume, hand me the sleeping pills on the table." He said, glancing away from her for a second, aiming a glance at the table he had got the water from.

A moment later he was trying to shove two pills in her mouth.

She twisted awkwardly away, wrinkling her nose at the pills. She glared at him tiredly, and he sighed impatiently.

He looked around, probably for something to pry her mouth open, then looked between her and Natsume awkwardly as he tried to think of something.

She moved slightly and sighed tiredly into her pillow, and slammed her mouth shut again before Jamie could move. She put her mind-reading alice in gear, hoping to know Jamie's idea before he used it.

'_Oh fuck. I can't think of any idea's._' she barely refrained a smirk, and she stopped reading his mind; it was tiring her, and she was making it painfully obvious that she didn't want to sleep.

"I've got an idea…" Jamie muttered to Natsume, and Mikan struggled slightly again. "But it might not work. And it sure as hell is awkward." He looked hopefully around the room again, and Mikan kicked in her mind-reading alice again, despite her being weak. '_Shit. Really, there isn't _anything_ in this huge room that I could use?_'

She glared at him defiantly when he turned back to her.

He glanced at Natsume and popped the pills in his mouth.

'_Oh, _hell_ no!_' Natsume's mind screamed. She glanced at him, his eyes were wide with disbelief.

It occurred to her what his plan was, and her eyes widened in terror, and her own mind repeated Natsume's.

* * *

><p>"I <em>cannot<em> believe you kissed me to make me take my pills." Was the first thing Mikan rasped angrily when she woke up.

Jamie was in the hospital bed next to hers. "Me neither. And apparently Natsume didn't appreciate it. Nothing to say about my fractured ankle?"

"You deserved it."

"I didn't think he'd push me down a staircase…"

"Neither did I," Mikan admitted.

"…Well, at least you're talking again…"

"Where is he anyway?"

"The doctor wanted to talk to him about making people scream mentally and the dangers of staircases."

"…He deserved it."

"Yup."

Natsume walked back in, looking rather annoyed at being scolded.

"Look who's back," Jamie grumbled bitterly. "Next time, I'll make sure that I kiss you longer." He told Mikan. "Get my moneys worth."

"…Wasn't that your first kiss?" Mikan asked, suddenly remembering Jamie's lack of a dating.

"…No…?"

Natsume's eyes widened. "Mikan's awake?"

"Yes. I am. Why are you asking Jamie? You could easily ask me. Plus I talked. You must be stupid."

He rolled his eyes and turned to Jamie. "The doctor said you could leave." He said, aiming a look at the door.

"Nah, I'll just stay here and cock-block." They glared at each other, and Natsume shut the curtain that separated Jamie's and her room. "Hey!"

"If you want more privacy, I can soundproof this small area." Mikan offered, grinning at the curtain.

"How am I going to get ten bucks if you do that?" Jamie whined.

She soundproofed the area without waiting for Natsume's consent.

"Are you guys talking? I'll interrupt you. Lalalalalalalalala!"

"Unfortunately, we can still hear him… Here," she soundproofed it both ways, so she couldn't hear Jamie anymore. "Well, that's more peaceful." She turned to Natsume, the smile disappearing from her face. "So? I'm sure you have something to say. Are you going to pity me like Jamie or laugh and mock me like Kuonji? Maybe you just won't talk to me ever again." She waited for him to reply. "Well?"

He struggled for words, before just simply saying, "I'm sorry."

"Don't say sorry. I _hate_ pity. You've already apologized. You didn't do anything." She snapped, sitting straighter in the hospital bed.

He frowned painfully. "That's just it," he muttered, shaking his head. "I did _nothing_!" he looked at her, furious at himself. "I _heard_ you screaming for me! But I didn't help you!"

"What could you have done?" Mikan asked. "I was miles away."

"I could have looked harder! I thought you were just… just screaming for a stupid reason like you always did!"

Mikan sighed, moving into a sitting position on her bed. Natsume sat in the space, avoiding her eyes. "Natsume, look at me." He didn't move. She grabbed his hand, ignoring the part of her that screamed not too, and brought it to her chest. He looked up finally, eyes clouded with pain. "Look, a lot of the time, I wish I _was_ dead. But you can feel my heart beating, can't you, Natsume?" He nodded meekly. "That's because I'm still alive! And the heart that's beating in my chest…" she paused embarrassedly. "It only beats for you!" she cried, frustrated. "And maybe, I wish I could go back, make it so none of this happened, but I know it had too!" she paused, taking a shaking breath. "Fates working its mysterious magic. And not everything that happened was bad," she insisted. "I met Jamie and Jade, and… and we're keeping each other going!"

Natsume took his hand away from her quickly, and Mikan's eyes widened in shock. "Why do you always do that?" he demanded, eyes flashing with hurt and sadness.

She shook her head blankly, "I… what?"

"Why do you always bring _him_ up!" he cried, pointing at the curtain that separated Jamie and them.

Her eyebrows creased in confusion. "Jamie?" he nodded. "I… didn't I already tell you that we weren't dating?"

"You don't _have_ to be dating!" he insisted angrily. "You told me you weren't dating, sure. But you also told me that you guys love each other!"

"It's not that kind of love…" Mikan repeated weakly, shaking as she watched Natsume fume.

"Then what is it, Mikan? You couldn't describe your love for him, _it's just that strong_!"

'_Is he angry, sad, hurt or jealous?_' she wondered. '_Or is jealousy all of them mixed together?_'

"Mikan, tell me right now that you love me more than Jamie." He said, now in a whisper.

She froze. '_I can't._' she realized painfully. '_I love Jamie just as much as I love Natsume. Maybe more. Just in a different way._'

"I don't love you more Natsume." She said coldly. "I love Jamie more." He looked at her with something akin to disgust. "I love Jamie more, even if it is a different way." She repeated.

"What kind of way?" Natsume screamed impatiently.

"I've already told you Natsume."

"No you didn't! You pretty much told me that you couldn't live without him! You shouldn't feel that way about more than one person of the opposite gender!"

"I can't live without Jamie." Mikan agreed. "But I don't think I could live without you either."

He scowled spitefully, seeing he was getting nowhere in this fight. "Maybe you should find out who your heart _really_ beats for."

He ripped the curtain open, and stormed away, ignoring Jamie.

Mikan allowed sound back into the small area, watching closely after Natsume.

Jamie flinched when the door slammed and turned to her, eyes shocked.

She glared at the door for a moment before turning to Jamie. She shrugged at him, then sat up and wobbled over to his bed. "So, when are we going back to our dorm?" she paused. "Oh, crap. I'm not going back there."

"You're going back to the labyrinth mansion." Jamie whispered, looking down. "Should I even ask what happened to make Natsume look like he would pick me up and throw me down the stairs and you look like you want to cry, but you're to furious to?"

"Damn, you're good at reading people."

She sighed. "I went onto this random heartfelt speech, and ended it by saying that not everything that happened was bad, cause I met Jade and you." She sent a glare at the door. "He accused me, saying I always somehow brought you up, and I told him that we were just really close, and repeated that we weren't dating or anything. Then he ranted that I earlier couldn't describe how we felt about each other exactly, cause it's… it's deep. He wanted me to tell him I loved him more than you but… but I don't. I told him I loved you in a different way again, and he told me to find out who my heart _really_ beats for, then stormed off." She explained as nonchalantly as she could.

"Ouch…" Jamie whispered to himself. He wrapped his arm around Mikan in a half-hug. "Well, if he's going to be like that, you're better off without him – for now." He added. "Give him some time."

She shrugged. "Whatever." She paused before adding, "I think what bothers me the most… is that he doesn't understand that you're the only comfort I've had for almost four years."

* * *

><p><strong>Oh, snap.<strong>

**So no. Mikan and Natsume are **_**not**_** together. They are far, far apart - for the moment.**

**I want to remind you of this: Mikan and Natsume were engaged, and suddenly she disappeared, then reappeared four years later with a guy that she says she loves – maybe even more than Natsume. He was hurt because of this, and took it out on her, and she's pissed that he can't understand what she's saying. Or not saying, as it may.**

**Also, yes, the name has changed to Fire and Ice. Seems suitable, ne?  
><strong>


	9. My Immortal

Mikan glanced at Jamie's alarm clock, watching the numbers flash as it started beeping annoyingly loud.

Last night she and Jamie had left the hospital area, but not without the doctor scolding Jamie about falling down the stairs-even though it was Natsume's fault- and Mikan was looked at suspiciously and unsurely.

They awkwardly got to the special star dorms, Mikan half supporting the limping Jamie, though they had to walk by Natsume, who was standing a little ways away from the door. Natsume's eyes followed her, but she didn't acknowledge, instead, by little choice, she and Jamie fell over.

They made it with only that one fall, and Mikan spent the night there, not knowing where to go since her room was changed.

Jamie's eyes snapped open and he glowered at his alarm clock as though it was at fault for all of his troubles. "Mornings are the devils way of making contact with the earth." He said, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. He looked down at them, suddenly remembering the splint on his foot. He shook his leg in annoyance and turned to her. "Go out in the hall, I gotta change."

Mikan hopped off the couch she had bunked on, striding over to the door with a small wave of her hand. "Yeah, yeah, I know."

"What, wanna stay and watch?" he teased, laughing lightly as he pulled a uniform out of his closet.

"You're actually going to wear the uniform?" she asked. He nodded. "Well… don't forget the tie."

He rolled his eyes and she walked into the hall in boredom. She rocked on her heels, then turned to Jade's room to make sure she was up.

She knocked first this time.

"Changing!" A voice sang from the other side.

"Kay." Mikan replied, sighing. "But I'll have you know that Jamie is too, and now I have nobody to bug."

"Bug Jamie while he's changing. Wouldn't surprise me if you've seen each other naked." The last line was supposed to be a joke, but it made Mikan think of Natsume, who she was now aware was sitting in the shadows by his bedrooms door.

She ignored that he was there and let out a mock scream of terror, then laughed. "Just hurry up."

She rocked on her heels again, then turned to the room she had had for only one night. Her name was printed on the door, but when she opened it, it was empty of her things. '_So he really did it._' She mused to herself.

Purposefully ignoring Natsume, she walked back to Jamie's door again. "Are you done yet?"

"Nope."

"You girls take a long time…" she said tauntingly.

"Screw you."

"You would like to, wouldn't you?" she continued mockingly.

"I hate you."

"Love you too."

"…Seriously, don't mock me."

She laughed and turned to Jade's door as it opened. "Jamie, you must be really feminine. Jade finished before you."

"I hate this freaking tie." Came the annoyed reply.

"Come out here, goof, I know how to put them on, I'll help." Mikan said to his door. It opened a moment later. "…How do you get a tie to look like _that_?" Mikan asked as Jade turned away, laughing.

Jamie's tie was tied in multiple knots, everywhere, and was flipped over his head, backwards. "I don't know. You said you could help?"

"I think I'd rather you went to class looking like that."

"Fix it."

Laughing along with Jade, she tidied it up, making it look a lot more presentable. "There." She said, stepping back.

Jade rolled her eyes. "He still looks stupid with a tie. He looked better with it flopped over his head."

Mikan turned to look at Jamie. She looked him up and down before nodding to herself. "Are you kidding? Jamie looks smexy in a tie."

Jamie quirked a smile and Jade laughed again.

"Seriously, Jade, he doesn't look half bad." She grabbed his tie and pulled so his head was tilted over hers and their noses were touching. He smirked flirtatiously down at her and she smirked back.

Then she shoved him away as if nothing had happened. "Anyway, I want to head out early to tell my uncle I'm going to class."

"You guys are such flirts," she scoffed at them.

"Yup. Get used to it, we've been doing it for almost four years." She paused. "Hey, do you have a ponytail or something? My hair bothers me."

"Sure." Jade replied, skipping into her room.

Mikan turned to Jamie. "How can she be so happy she can skip? It's weird. Especially because…" she trailed off, glanced at Natsume, then at Jade's door. "Well, your guys pasts."

He shrugged. "She repressed them really well. If she doesn't like something, she doesn't remember it."

Mikan glanced towards Jade's room enviously. "You guys should read the Wildflowers series by Virginia Andrews. The people in it have completely awful family problems. And one of them is named Jade." She grinned wickedly. "It's so screwed up. She was like the master of writing incest, rape, evil grandmas, crazy mothers or fathers, dead siblings. It's so twisted!"

"All the things Jade hates." Jamie hmm-ed. "We should probably not tell her." His gaze flicked past her too her room. "Did Kuonji really move your things out?"

Mikan followed his gaze. "Yes. Looks like I'm really go back to where the nightmare started."

"Mikan…"

She turned back to Jade's room just as she walked back out, twirling a black ponytail on her finger. "Sorry, it was in my bag." She excused herself for taking longer than usual.

"It's fine. Thanks for getting me one."

"No problem. So," she started. "You going to tell me what happened to Jamie?"

"I fell." Jamie said simply.

"Down the stairs." Mikan added.

"…He fell… down the stairs…?" she paused thoughtfully then burst into laughter. "Well, what happened to you, Mikan?"

"I hit my head, got a concussion, went into hysterics, and tried to commit suicide. Multiple times."

"…Oh."

"Yeah, well…" Mikan glanced at her watch. "Well, I forgot we were helping carry baggage." She pointed at Jamie. "So my uncle won't be aware that we'll be in class. I'll tell him later, or something."

"Great, maybe we can go for the whole day without embarrassment, accidents and break downs." Jamie snapped impatiently.

"With your ankle, I can guarantee embarrassment and accidents." Jade quipped.

"Great…"

* * *

><p>"Seriously, I'm going to get you Life Alert – Help, I've Fallen and Can't Get Up!" Mikan snapped at Jamie when he fell over for the fourth time.<p>

He rolled over so he could glare at her. "Shut it and help me back up, we're already late for class."

"Gee, I wonder who's fault that is." Jade retorted, rolling her eyes as she helped her brother to his feet.

"I'm sorry I'm injured. God, you guys are mean."

"Indeed we are." Mikan agreed, allowing Jamie to lean on her so he could hobble along easier. "At least we're almost there." She reminded. "See, just one more corner."

"I can't believe we're late – again!" Jade exclaimed, picking up her pace. "Seriously, we've been here what, three days? And on the two occasions for getting to class we've been late."

"So? Who cares, it's not like we're being taught something we don't already know."

"But I haven't even go to meet all of our teachers." She whined. "_You_ know them all, even if it was years ago…"

"Trust me when I say you don't want to meet Jinno-sensei. How is he even alive still?"

"I don't know. I don't know him!"

Mikan sighed in relief as she opened the door to the classroom, stepping in awkwardly with Jamie still balancing himself on her.

Narumi was the first to look. "Mikan!" he jumped to his feet, and the class noticed her appearance. "Why aren't you in the hospital?" he demanded worriedly.

She cracked a small smile, trying not to show her happiness at having him worry. "I'm fine, Narumi-sensei. Kuonji doesn't like me being in the hospital too long. He thinks they'll send me to a mental house."

He looked at her oddly. "A mental institute? Why would they do that?"

"Yesterday I had four hysterical breakdowns and attempted suicide seven times. I think that's enough reason to have them worry about my sanity."

His gaze flicked away from her, and some of the kids gasped and muttered amongst themselves. "And Jamie?"

"He fell."

"Down stairs." Jade added.

"Anyway, we'll take our seats." Mikan said, helping Jamie to his seat beside Nonoko, who luckily sat near the front of the class, then hurried to her seat, which she was regretting having, because it was by Natsume.

She didn't look at him, still furious with him, instead sitting quickly and directing her attention out the window, trying to ignore the stares of the other students –and Narumi whenever he was at the right angle to see her. It seemed like the only three people that didn't bother watching her were Jamie and Jade, who had no reason too, and Natsume, who was still fuming.

She sent one glance at the wall, catching the time: 9:30 a.m. This class would end at 11:30 then Special-Abilities class with Tsubasa-_sensei _for an hour and a half, lunch for an hour, then Utau for an hour, and last Misaki-sensei with gym.

'_Great, just two hours to go._' She thought dryly, already getting tired of the stares.

Hour one: Done. Almost nobody paid attention to the teacher. Not even the teacher knew what he was talking about. Now she was watching Jamie's back, finding it somewhat entertaining. '_I must be bored._' She realized, turning to look out the window again.

Hour two: forty-seven seconds left. Ruka fell out of his chair again. Narumi tripped multiple times while not paying attention. Jamie threw a note at her head, and Natsume burned it before it could reach her. Natsume still won't acknowledge her besides for burning the paper. Hotaru aimed the baka-gun at her, and Mikan accomplished dodging it; Natsume, however, did not, and was thoroughly embarrassed, even though he didn't show it.

_Ring!_

'_Thank God._' Mikan thought, hopping instantly to her feet and zooming out of the room, leaving Jade to help Jamie. She ducked behind the door, and slowly her classmates left, going to whichever alice-type class they belonged in.

When she was sure almost all of them were gone, she stepped back in, glancing around warily. Jamie and Jade were still there, waiting for her. Narumi was at his desk, shuffling things around distractedly. Hotaru, Ruka and Natsume were at the back, Ruka and Hotaru talking, and Natsume still looking annoyed.

She walked over to Jamie and Jade calmly. "So, special-abilities next. Though I think latent would've made more sense for you two." She shrugged. "But we're together, so who cares." She sat on Jamie's desk and crossed her legs. "Let us sit for a moment, and relish the fact that there isn't thirty people watching our every move." She paused and glanced around. "There is however, four others watching us…"

Jamie stood up awkwardly, and Mikan grabbed his should to keep him from falling backwards onto Jade. "Well, lets go." He added in a whisper. "I'm getting a death glare."

Jade stretched and got to her feet and grabbed Jamie's other shoulder. "If you fall again, I'm following Mikan's advice and getting you Life Alert."

"Help, I've fallen and can't get up!" Mikan added with a laugh. "So suitable."

"Ah, S-Sakura-san…"

Mikan turned quickly and Jamie fell to the ground. She looked down at him, smiling impishly, "Sorry."

"No you're not."

"No, I mean for finding that so funny."

Jade helped him to his feet, muttering something about perfect timing and getting Life Alert.

Mikan turned to Ruka, smile flicking off her face quickly. "What?"

He looked down awkwardly and shuffled his feet. "I… just wanted to say it's nice to see you again…"

She smiled again. "It's nice to see you again, too, Ruka-pyon." His face lit up with relief. "Don't act so nervous, gosh." She helped support Jamie again, and waved a small farewell. "I'll see you later, I guess."

He sighed with a mix of relief and sadness, but she kept walking and supporting Jamie.

"I fell just so he could say that…" Jamie grumbled unhappily.

"You're just upset cause your ankle hurts."

"No, I'm annoyed because when I fell, Natsume looked rather happy about it."

"…Should I ask why you were watching Natsume?"

"I just wanted to see if he'd say something…"

"You have ears for that."

"I think he's pretty happy that he tripped me down the stairs…"

"He tripped you?" Jade exclaimed. "I thought you fell."

"He did." Mikan stated. "After Natsume tripped him."

"Jealousy?" Jade asked.

"Jealousy." Mikan and Jamie confirmed together.

They were silent for a few moments.

"Don't be surprised if there's a surprise party in this class." Mikan warned as they approached the special-abilities room.

"Well, we can't be _now_." Jade grumbled, reaching for the doorknob.

_Pop!_

"Told you."

Confetti rained down on them, and Mikan brushed it off her in annoyance.

"Welcome to the special-abilities class, people-that-I-wasn't-told-the-names-of!"

Mikan face-palmed.

"So, why don't you tell us your names, and we'll eat cake!" Tsubasa exclaimed, eyeing the cake.

"I'm Jade Swift! You said cake?" Jade greeted chirpily.

He pointed to the table in the middle of the room that had a big cake spread out on it, plenty of pieces already gone from the other students.

"Jamie Swift." Jamie said simply and limped over to sit beside his sister.

Tsubasa's eyes turned to her, and something that looked like recognition flashed through them.

"What, can't recognize your own bratty kohai, Tsubasa-sen_pai_?" she snapped, arms folding in front of her. "That's okay, when I look in a mirror, I don't recognize myself either."

He sputtered out nonsense for a moment, and she was almost sure he was going to start foaming at the mouth, before he hugged her tightly. She bit her tongue to keep from screaming and hugged him back awkwardly. "Mikan! Why are you back? Where have you been? Misaki's going to have a heart attack! What happened? Well?" he asked without taking a breath and holding her arms-length away as he examined her.

"I came back because Kuonji told me too." She answered first. "I've been in America. Lot's of things I don't care to share happened. A well is a shaft stuck in the ground to contain a fluid of some sort."

He laughed then darted towards the emergency phone that hung on the wall. "Misaki, come to my classroom." He paused. "I don't care if you're teaching! Get down here, woman!" he hung up before she could reply, then turned to her, smiling widely.

"You do realize she's going to kill you, right?" Mikan asked.

He nodded excitedly. "But she's coming here! See, if you say something insulting, she'll come just for the sole purpose of causing pain – but when she sees you, she'll forget… briefly."

The door opened and Tsubasa flinched, probably thinking it was Misaki already. Instead, Natsume walked in, not sparing a glance at anything and leaned against the wall in boredom.

Mikan looked at Tsubasa curiously. "Why's Natsume in the special class?"

"Dangerous was cancelled," he said quickly, still very excited. He draped his arm across his her shoulders and dragged her towards Natsume. "Natsume, why aren't you stalking my kohai like you used to?" he demanded. "Aren't you happy to see her?"

Natsume turned to them, eyes narrowed. His eyes watched her, expecting her to say something, and when she didn't, he turned quickly away and walked off.

Tsubasa watched him curiously. "Lovers quarrel?" he suggested, smiling down at her.

"We're not lovers." Mikan snapped in embarrassment. "I don't care for him anymore."

Tsubasa's eyes widened in shock, "What? Whatwhatwhat? No, no, no, you care about everything and everyone!" he didn't wait for her to say anything. "Why didn't you come visit me and Misaki as soon as you got here? You should've! How long have you been here?"

"Three days or something." She shrugged.

"And you didn't visit! What kind of blasphemy is this?"

"I was in the hospital for two of them…"

"What? Why?"

She frowned, eye's going to Jamie, who was watching her out of the corner of is eye. "I'll… talk to you about it later."

He followed her gaze. "What? Is he your boyfriend or something? Should I teach him a lesson?"

Mikan laughed. "No, Jamie's not my boyfriend! Also, he's got a fractured ankle, so hurting him wouldn't be nice."

He laughed again, though she didn't think she had said anything funny, and picked her up and twirled her around in the same fashion her uncle had.

The door burst open again, this time followed by an angry snarl. "Tsubasa! You did _not_ call me 'woman'! I'm going to k- put down that student this instant! She'll think you're a pervert or molester or something!"

Mikan flinched slightly, but neither of them noticed, and Tsubasa put her down quickly. "Misaki," he drawled. "Look at the student!"

Misaki's attention flipped to her, and she did a double take.

"Seeeeeee? Do you know who she is?"

"No, but she looks like the bratty kohai we used to have." She said uncertainly.

"Misakiiiiiiiii, she _is_ the bratty kohai we used to have!"

"Hey!"

"Mikan! Really? Is it you? Or should I kill Tsubasa?" she paused. "Hey, I'm not finished with you!" she threatened Tsubasa.

"Yes, really, it's me, don't kill anyone, Misaki-senpei." Mikan laughed.

Misaki let out a squeal and tackled Mikan into a hug. "Mikan! When did you get here? Where were you?" she let out a list of questions just as Tsubasa had.

"How about I catch up with you and Tsubasa after school?"

"After school? Why not now? I'll cancel the classes I have to teach!" Misaki offered.

"Me too!" Tsubasa added.

"No! You guys have work to do and I'm expected at Utau-sensei's class."

"The new music teacher? Just skip! We need to hang out _now_." Tsubasa commanded.

"Oh, no, I couldn't skip music class!" Mikan exclaimed.

"What?" Tsubasa asked at the same time Misaki asked, "Why?"

She looked down awkwardly. "Utau needs to know I'm out of the hospital…"

"You were in the hospital?" Misaki exclaimed in shock. "Why? And don't you _dare_ lie to me! Did somebody hurt you?"

Mikan froze. "L-look it doesn't matter."

"Someone did, didn't they?" She persisted. "Who was it? I'll hurt them!"

"R-really, it doesn't matter, I'm used to- I… just drop it!" she snapped, backing away a step.

"Mikan, if someone hurt you, you have to tell us!" Misaki insisted. She froze. "You're _used_ to it?"

"I didn't say that! _Please_ drop it! I… Can we just meet up later to talk, _please_?" Mikan begged, glancing at Jamie desperately.

Misaki sighed. "Fine. I'll cancel my last class, and we can hang out then, 'kay?"

"I'm in your last class."

"I know, you're the new student, but instead of exercise, we'll meet up… in Tsubasa's room!" She nodded to herself. "After your music class, just come here and Tsubasa will bring you too his room! Okay?"

Jamie got to his feet and as quick as he could with his splint, went over. "You're scaring Mikan to death, you know." Jamie snapped, wrapping an arm protectively around her. "Couldn't you see her shaking? Don't ask her so many questions at once, she's already overwhelmed just being back here."

Misaki returned his glare. "And, who are you?"

"I'm Jamie Swift. I'm Mikan's… I don't know. Best friend?" he shrugged unknowingly. "Whatever. Just give her a chance to catch her breath and answer properly instead of sending question after question at her." Misaki didn't say anything. "She'll meet with you two, but I'll be coming with her."

Misaki glared at him, looking like she was going to scream her head off at him, but Mikan interjected quickly. "Ah, yeah. Jamie and I will come here later. Um, I'm just going to step in the hallway and, you know, try to breath." She bolted out before they could reply. She sat on one of the few benches that were placed around the Gakuen.

"You're such a freak." Jamie muttered, limping into the hallway and sitting beside her. "Misaki is scolding Tsubasa for scaring you…" he rolled his eyes.

"That figures. She'd blame someone she didn't know before taking the blame herself."

"She blamed me, too. So I believe you."

"Well, you blamed her, too."

"Yeah, but she's the one that did it…"

Mikan shrugged.

"So, what are you going to tell them?" he asked, watching her closely. "Clearly they don't think you've changed."

"I'm going to tell them the truth; some of it anyways."

He blinked in surprise. "You're going to _tell_ them?" he asked incredulously.

She nodded then sighed, "If I don't tell someone, I'll explode."

"Then tell Natsume."

She glared at him. "Like hell I'm going to tell him! If he has a problem with you, he has a problem with me!" she caught his shadow lingering right inside the door. '_Tsubasa-senpai, you were wrong; he's still watching me._' "Just… when I do tell them, comfort me when I break into tears. Again. Cause we both know I will."

He nodded, his eyes flicking to the door to, a sign that he saw Natsume too.

"Well," Mikan began, getting to her feet. "I think I'm just going to go to the music room. It should be empty."

"Want me to join you?" Jamie offered, already starting to get up.

"No, I just… need some time to myself." She replied, catching his look of disappointment. Tears pricked at her eyes again, and she turned away quickly to hide them.

"C'mere," Jamie said, patting the seat next to him, telling Mikan to sit. She did so hesitantly. "What's bothering you so much?"

Instantly she burst into tears. "What's wrong?" she repeated, "_Everything's_ wrong!" she sobbed into his shirt, and his arm automatically went around her. "I _hate_ it here! I want to go back to America, I want Arden to call me _babe_, I want Mitsuki to jump out of nowhere and scream to try and scare us, I want you to greet Claire, and see her look up, blushing horribly because she likes you so much!

"I want people to stop looking at me like I'm an alien, I want to hug Hotaru without being scared, I want Ruka to not look scared talking to me, I want Natsume to love me but understand I can't give you up for it!" she paused breathing shakily. "I want to tell someone what happened to me, I want to stop being depressed and suicidal! I want everyone to forget I existed and stop comparing me to how I used to be! I want… _I want to disappear!_" she tore away from him before he could reply, running towards the music room, the sanctuary where she could let herself out in her singing.

She heard the door slide open, and Jamie hissed to whoever walked out, "I hope you're happy."

She ignored the footsteps that followed hers, slamming into the empty music room with relief.

She moved to the closest instrument, a grand piano that had a couple of boxes of Utau's on it. She moved two of them off quickly then cursed when the third one's bottom collapsed on itself. She shoved the contents aside, only pausing to exam a book she had let Utau borrow: Flowers in the Attic.

"'_For I think of us more as flowers in the attic. Paper flowers. Born so brightly colored, and fading duller through all those long, grim, dreary, nightmarish days when we were held prisoners of hope, and kept captives of greed._'" Mikan recited from memory, staring down at the cover.

She set it to the side then sat at on the piano bench, testing the keys warily. When she heard nothing wrong with it, she positioned her hands, one song coming instantly to her mind.

"_I'm so tired of being here  
>Suppressed by my childish fears<br>And if you have to leave  
>I wish you would just leave<br>Your presence still lingers here  
>And it won't leave me alone,<em>"

Out of the corner of her eyes she saw Natsume open the door and slide into the shadows, but she ignored him. She wasn't there anymore, she was swimming in her memories, good and bad, singing the tune that seemed so fitting right now.

"_These wounds won't seem to heal  
>This pain is just to real<br>There's just too much that time cannot erase,  
>When you cried I'd wipe away your tears<br>When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
>And I held your hand for all of there years<br>But you still have  
>All of me,<em>"

'_Never will my wounds heal,_' Mikan told herself, not believing they ever could, and thinking of Flowers in the Attic again. There were just certain things you could never recover from.

Being raped, being locked away, was there that much of a difference? Her memories would always come back, and she'd wish for revenge, just like Cathy insisted on wanting so badly she hurt the ones she loved.

"_You used to captivate me  
>By your resonating light<br>Now I'm bind by the life you left behind  
>Your face it haunts<br>My once pleasant dreams  
>Your voice chased away<br>All the sanity in me,_"

'_Would_ I_ hurt the ones I love for revenge?_' Somehow she knew the answer was yes. If they loved her, too, they would forgive her.

But could one who couldn't forgive be forgiven?

Cathy lived with it, was forgiven. She got her revenge, but did feel bad.

She had left her nightmare behind, but it still followed her everywhere she went.

"_These wounds won't seem to heal  
>This pain is just to real<br>There's just too much that time cannot erase,  
>When you cried I'd wipe away your tears<br>When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
>And I held your hand for all of there years<br>But you still have  
>All of me,<em>"

'_It's scary._' Mikan thought, eyes floating towards the book. '_How one person could describe horror's and anguish that people could relate to and feel the awfulness of it, even if their story is different._'

'_How you can know the feeling she's talking about, even though it hasn't happened to you._'

"_I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
>But though you're still with me<em>  
><em>I've been alone all along,<em>"

'_How such hatred can lead you to ruin somebody's life, just for the purpose of revenge._' Though she was on the piano, Mikan heard the burst of sudden guitar and drums that was actually in the song.

'_How such hatred actually exists in the world I used to think was a fairytale._'

"_These wounds won't seem to heal  
>This pain is just to real<br>There's just too much that time cannot erase,  
>When you cried I'd wipe away your tears<br>When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
>And I held your hand for all of there years<br>But you still have  
>All of me,<em>"

'_How you can be the character - maybe not physically locked up, but mentally; you change without realizing it and slowly your world of magic crumbles._' She trailed her fingers across the last few keys. '_And trust for those you used to love disappears without a trace._'

She reached down and grabbed the book, eyes examining the picture on the front, of what Cathy was supposed to look like.

Burning hatred coursed through her as she held it. She threw it against the wall bitterly. '_Enjoy your freedom, Lady Cath-er-ine._' She taunted in her head, using Chris's nickname for her. '_Have a fairytale ending like all books do, and I'll suffer and die without revenge._'

'_I can't believe I envy a book…_'

She sighed, looking back down to the piano. '_I'm supposed to _distract_ myself from the pain!_' she scolded herself. '_Sing and forget the world!_'

She started playing the next thing that came to mind.

"_I am outside  
>And I've been waiting for the sun<br>And with my wide eyes  
>I've seen worlds that don't belong<br>My mouth is dry  
>With words I cannot verbalize<br>Tell me why, we live like this  
>Keep me safe inside<br>Your arms like towers  
>Tower over me, yeah<em>,"

'_We are Broken? _This_ is supposed to distract you?_' she spat to herself.

"_Cause we are broken  
>What must we do to restore<br>Our innocence  
>And oh, the promise we adored?<br>Give us life again  
>Cause we just wanna be whole…<em>"

Though she did start feeling better.

She watched her fingers glide across the keys, mind finally calming.

"_Lock the doors  
>Cause I'd like to capture this voice<br>That came to me tonight  
>So everyone will have a choice,<br>And under red lights  
>I'll show myself it wasn't forged<br>We're at war, we live like this  
>Keep me safe inside<br>Your arms like towers  
>Tower over me,<em>"

Then she paused, breath catching in her throat.

"_Cause we are broken…  
>What must we do to restore<br>Our innocence  
>And oh, the promised we adored?<br>Give us life again…  
>Cause we just want to be whole…<em>"

She stopped, voice cracking away into nothing, tears already blurring her vision and falling down her face. "Because _I'm_ a flower in the attic," she whispered to herself, but loud enough that she was sure Natsume heard it. "A paper flower. Born so brightly colored, now fading duller through the nightmarish days." She took a shuddering breath and picked the book up once again. "Held a prisoner for hope, and kept captive for greed. Not a single day colored yellow, because that's the color for hope, and the sun and happiness I'll never feel nor see again…

"Waiting for promises to be fulfilled, though I know they never will be. Because even if I say I can, I can't wait forever…" the bell rang overhead, announcing lunch had started. "And just because I escaped once, doesn't mean that I can do it a second time…"

She walked over to the window and peeked out, pinpointing her location, then opened it and slipped one leg out.

She was about to climb out the rest of the way, but Natsume snapped into action, lunging at her and grabbing her before she could. "Are you crazy? We're two stories high!" he snapped, dragging her back into the room against her will.

She slapped his hand away from her. "Why do you care?" she practically spat, backing towards the window again. "I know how to land on my feet! I've fallen from higher heights!"

"Why don't you just use the door?" he demanded, ignoring her question, pulling her away from the window again. "It's dangerous."

"_It's dangerous_," she sneered. "I've leapt five stories down before! I can take this measly fall!"

A small flicker of shock jolted through his eyes.

Mikan continued before he could, "Let me guess, why would I jump five stories down?" she paused as he nodded. She yanked away from him again. "They didn't cancel the dangerous ability class for nothing! What did you think, they'd just stop caring about the missions that had to be done?"  
>He froze, eyes widening. "<em>You<em> were the one that got that class cancelled? _You've_ been doing the missions!" he reached out and grabbed her again as she tried to slip through the window once more.

"_Stop it! Stop touching me!_" Mikan shrieked, slamming the window shut. "Look, I won't hop out, I'll stay here, okay?" She went back and sat on the piano bench again. She turned and glared at him, pretending not to notice the pain in his eyes at her not allowing him to touch her when just yesterday they had been a millimeter away from kissing.

But that was the exact reason she didn't want him to touch her.

Every time he touched her, she could've sworn she could feel electricity jolt through her.

"I'll just stay here and sit, sing, dance or play an instrument, and you can fade back into the shadows and I can pretend you're not here!"

She turned without waiting for him to reply and started dancing along to a song she could barely hear.

And Natsume faded back into the shadows, but every time she turned at an angle that she could see him, she caught him watching her longingly.

* * *

><p><strong>Twelve pages.<strong>

**Over 5,000 words.**

**That is pretty freaking good, if I do say so myself.**

**Oh wait – this author's note just made it thirteen pages.**

**Ha!**

**Anywho. **

**Did you like it? Well then review! Cause I didn't even get **_**one**_** review for my last chapter. Are you guys spiting me for not getting Mikan and Natsume together? If so, you're mean.**

**The songs: My Immortal, Evanescence, and We are Broken, Paramore.**

**Yes, multiple times I brought up VC Andrews and Flowers in the Attic. I just finished Petals on the Wind, and some things seemed to fit so well together…**

**SO NEXT::: Utau gets Mikan to sing in front of the class. Tsubasa, Misaki and her get together, with Jamie supervising. She shares what she feels she can to her senpai's. They give her advice and stuff. Any Kuonji comes to take her away…**

**Also, review, or I'm never getting Mikan and Natsume together.**

**That's right, I went there.**


	10. Determinate

**Warning: You will never know the joy of using this sentence: 'Her eye twitched, and she lunged towards him, sandwich at hand.' until you actually try it. I honestly can't stop laughing about it.**

Jamie limped into the room a few minutes later, Jade behind him. "I brought you a sandwich since you didn't come to get lunch." He greeted, handing her a peanut butter sandwich. "Peanut butter makes everything better."

"…Okay? Thanks." Mikan replied unsurely. "What did you do to it?"

"Don't worry, it's safe." Jade assured.

She examined it closely, then took half of it and tossed it to Natsume, who caught it awkwardly and looked at her curiously.

"If you're trying to start a food-fight, I'll win." He said simply.

Mikan rolled her eyes. "You haven't eaten anything. And I would _so_ beat you!" she lifted her half of the sandwich and aimed it at him threateningly.

"Put the sandwich down, Mikan-chan." A voice behind her sighed in exasperation. "I guess you're out of the hospital…"

Mikan tilted her head back and looked at Utau-sensei. "What? Did you actually think I would throw this peanut-buttery deliciousness at Natsume-kun?" she asked innocently.

She nodded. "Mikan, you've started four food-fights since I've known you – and those are just the peanut-butter involved ones." She shook her head. "Don't play the innocent act with me.  
>Mikan frowned. "<em>Okay<em>, so maybe I was _considering_ throwing it him… but only if he insulted me!"

"Mikan, you need new excuses. You've used that every time…" she sighed again. "What could he possibly say to earn a sandwich in the face?"

"He… he could've called me polka-dots!"

Utau looked at her in confusion, and Natsume leaned forward smirking. "Pol-ka-dots."

Her eye twitched, and she lunged towards him, sandwich at hand. "This sandwich is going down the back of your shirt!" she let out an odd battle cry that only made his smirk widen in amusement.

"Mikan! Sit!" Utau snapped, pointing a bubble-wand at her. "Don't make me use this!"

Mikan slunk to back to her spot beside Jamie whilst whispering, "I will be avenged…"

Jade giggled. "Ooh, you got the bubble-wand pulled on you!" she turned to Natsume, probably sensing his confusion. "Don't underestimate Utau-sensei. It looks harmless, but if that gets pulled out, you _know_ you're in trouble. It's like Ash from Pokemon twisting his hat back. It looks harmless enough but _bam!_"

Natsume looked far from convinced. "So you're telling me a bubble-wand is a serious punishment?"

"Precisely! It's her trick. She makes it so harmless and funny, then suddenly you're tied to train-tracks!"

"…I'm sure she hasn't done that."

"No," Mikan interjected. "She actually tied Jade to train-tracks. It took me and Jamie two hours to find her." He still didn't look convinced. "Try if you will to test her, but when you wake up in the middle of nowhere with a massive headache and no recollection of what happened, you will regret it horribly."

"If you have no recollection, how would you know it was her?" he questioned.

"Next time she sees you she smiles and greets you by saying 'Oh, so you made it out okay. Pity.'" Mikan scoffed.

"Stop spreading such rumors about me!" Utau snapped, glaring at them. "You guys are ruining my plans…"

"And she tells _me_ to stop playing innocent."

"…I don't think teachers are allowed to do that kind of thing."

"They're not." Mikan replied. "But nobody really wants to test her…" she added after a moment, "She's got the binding alice, so she knocks you out, then brings you wherever, and you're tied up." Mikan shivered. "_Never_ do I plan on letting her tie me up…"

Jamie leaned down to quickly whisper in her ear, "She knows you have troubles with that because of your past. She'd do something different."

"I _hate_ binds…" Mikan whispered to herself, nibbling on her half of the sandwich. She looked at the clock. "Lunch is almost done…" she sighed.

"What, not looking forward to telling your senpai's your story?" Jamie asked, brushing his hand on Jade to get rid of the crumbs that clung to it.

Natsume leaned forward ever-so subtly and seemed to hang on the words she was going to say.

"I don't even know how to tell them anything. They wouldn't even let me say anything… and Tsubasa-senpai was so excited he didn't hear what I _did_ say…"

He looked almost disappointed he wasn't going to hear more, and if he noticed Mikan clinging once again to Jamie's shirt, he didn't show it.

"I don't even know what I can say without having to go back to the hospital…" her throat tightened with anxiety, and sensing it, Jamie, for the umpteenth time, wrapped his arm around her. "They think I'm still the bratty kohai I was when I left; the one who didn't understand half of their jokes because they were rude, who was pure, innocent, saw no problem with the world. Jamie I'm not innocent or pure! They won't like me anymore because of my changes!" her chest constricted and she struggled for breath.

"Calm down," Jamie whispered, and she tried to relax some. "They'll understand what happened wasn't your fault. None of this was your fault, Mikan, and if they think otherwise you're better off without them for not believing in you."

"I don't care about what they think about me being raped!" Mikan hissed quietly so Jade wouldn't overhear. "I care about what they'll think of what happened _after_ it!" her voice rose shrilly. "The pain from that will never compare to the pain I felt watching… watching…" her voice trailed off and her eyes clouded over.

Natsume's interest was suddenly recovered, and he watched and waited for her to say something else to help him understand the mystery that had become her.

She jumped when the bell rang, signaling class was to start, and sat down at her actual seat instead of one of the desks.

The class filed in quickly, and soon all of the seats were taken.

"Good morning, class," Utau greeted politely. "I will be your new music and dance teacher – please call me Utau-sensei."

A couple of kids muttered out greetings where as most did nothing.

She smiled at Mikan. "I trained Mikan-chan here how to sing, didn't I?" she didn't wait for her reply. "So that's why I thought I'd let her come up here and sing!"

Mikan froze. "I don't want to."

Utau whipped a bendy-straw out of midair and pointed it at her threateningly.

"Oh shit, not the bendy-straw!" Jade dove under her desk, earning her some weird looks.

Mikan put her hands up in surrender. "Okay, okay, just don't use the bendy-straw." She walked up to the front of the classroom and motioned Jamie and Jade up. "But my band will be with me."

She pointed Jamie to the drums so he could sit, and Jade crawled out from the desk and grabbed a guitar, turning to her curiously.

Mikan smiled. "You wanted to do this song so much Jamie, so, here's your chance: Determinate."

Jamie smiled back at her, and she used her Music alice to start the piano. Without Claire here, they'd be without a pianist for a while.

"_Trying hard to fight these tears  
>I'm crazy worried<br>Messing with my head this fear  
>I'm so sorry<em>,"

She sent a glance at Natsume as she said those lines.

"_You know you gotta get it out  
>I can't take it<br>That's what being friends is about,_"

She sighed through her teeth at how some lyrics could fit so well, then moved a little to the beat, trying to get into it.

"_I, I want to cry  
>I can't deny<br>Tonight I wanna up and hide  
>And get inside<br>It isn't right  
>I gotta live in my life!<br>I know I, I know I  
>I know I gotta do it<br>I know I, I know I  
>I know I gotta do it,<em>"

Oh, yes, how unfair her life was…

"_Gotta turn the world into your dance floor  
>Determinate, determinate<br>Push until you can't and then demand more  
>Determinate, determinate<br>You and me together, we can make it better  
>Gotta turn the world into your dance floor<br>Determinate, determinate,_"

She jumped up and down with Jade then slid to the side, casting a look over at Jamie as she said the third to last line, and she pointed at him for effect.

"_Hate to feel this way  
>And waste a day<br>I gotta get myself on stage  
>I shouldn't wait or be afraid<em>

_The chips will fall where they may  
>I know I, I know I<br>I know I gotta do it  
>I know I, I know I<br>I know I gotta do it,_"

Her eyes looked over the crowd. '_How many,_' she wondered, '_actually think I'm serious with some of these lyrics?_'

Natsume seemed to be listening closer to them most people, but that didn't surprise her. Hotaru looked mildly interested, but furious at her for abandoning her still.

She turned to glance at Jamie, who nodded her way, saying in his way that he understood that these were serious lyrics.

"_Gotta turn the world into your dance floor  
>Determinate, determinate<br>Push until you can't and then demand more  
>Determinate, determinate<br>You and me together, we can make it better  
>Gotta turn the world into your dance floor<br>Determinate, determinate,_"

Mikan turned to Jamie quickly, waiting for him to start, grinning madly.

"_It's _Jamie _and I'm heaven-sent  
>Use it like a veteran<br>Renegade, lemonade, use it in my medicine  
>Go ahead and try to name a band we ain't better than<br>Reason why the whole world's picking us instead of them  
>People need a breather cause they're feeling that adrenaline<br>Stop! Now hurry up and let us in. Knock!  
>Cause we're coming to your house and<br>People keep on smiling with the lemons in their mouths  
>I'm the real deal, you know how I feel<br>Why they in it for the meal I'm just in it for the thrill  
>Get down now I ain't playin' around put your feet up from the ground<br>And just make that sound right,_"

His eyes never left her, caring only about her opinion of how he had done. She barely had a chance to flash a quick admiration filled smile before having to get back to singing. She caught a quick glance of squealing girls in the crowd as they watched Jamie, and she felt a flash of possessiveness, then pity for poor Claire who would be raging now.

"_Yeah, yeah!_"

Mikan could only wonder why Jade wasn't more confident about her voice as she continued from there.

"_Gotta turn the world into your dance floor  
>Determinate, determinate<br>Push until you can't and then demand more  
>Determinate, determinate<br>You and me together, we can make it better  
>Gotta turn the world into your dance floor<br>Determinate, determinate,_"

She jumped and slid with Jade again, who was smiling widely.

"_Come on and, come on and  
>Come on and get it going<br>Come on and, come on and_

_Come on and get it going  
>On the dance floor<br>On the dance floor  
>D-d-dance floor<br>Determinate!_"

She sighed as she finished, out of breath.

She gave Jade a quick high-five and turned to Jamie.

"You were freaking awesome." She paused and grinned wryly. "Claire would be furious to see so many girls squeal for you like they did!"

He blushed lightly and turned away to hide it.

"Can we sing another song?" she asked him quietly.

He shrugged and looked toward Utau questioningly.

She nodded consent.

Mikan beckoned Jade over. "Me and Jamie are going to do another song, okay?"

She nodded excitedly and went to her seat while Mikan turned back to Jamie. "Franklin, Paramore?"

He nodded and grabbed the guitar Jade had set down, quickly tried out the strings by playing the Harry Potter theme song then smiled at her.

"_And when we get home, I know we won't be home at all  
>This place we live, it is not where we belong<br>And I miss who we were in the town that we could call our own  
>Going back to get away after everything has changed,<em>"

She flashed Jamie a pained look, and he almost looked like he was going to stop so she shook her head quickly.

"_Cause you remind me of a time when we were so alive,_" Jamie sang quietly.

"_Everything has changed,_"

"_Do you remember that? Do you remember that?_"

"_Everything has changed,_"

"_Could you help me push aside all that I have left behind?_"

"_Everything has changed,_"  
>"<em>Do you remember that? Do you remember that?<em>"

Even Jamie looked like this was hard on him, and she suddenly understood why he had wanted to stop for her, if that was how much pain she looked like she was in.

But they continued, Mikan ignoring the tears that had formed at the corner of her eyes.

"_So we stand here now and no one knows us at all  
>I won't get used to this<br>I won't get used to being gone  
>And going back won't feel the same if we aren't staying<br>Going back to get away after everything has changed,_"

So perfectly did this song describe the two; trying to save each other from their horrible pasts, trying to go back to who they were, but knowing it was to hard too, and that things had changed. Trying to remember when they weren't haunted and were truly free.

"_Could you remind me of a time when we were so alive,_"

"_Everything has changed,_"

"_Do you remember that? Do you remember that?_"

"_Everything has changed,_"

"_Could you help me push aside all that I have left behind?_"

"_Everything has changed,_"  
>"<em>Do you remember that? Do you remember that?<em>"

The class stared at them in amazement, wondering why this was so painful, but they would never know why Mikan had allowed the tears to fall.

Hotaru looked troubled, and Mikan had to remind herself of what she didn't tell her former best friend.

Ruka was staring with astonishment, not knowing what to think of it.

Natsume, still trying his best to understand what was going on, was trying to figure out why Mikan couldn't choose him over Jamie, or Jamie over him.

If the tears they shared weren't enough to prove their bond, then nothing would.

"_Taking up our time  
>Taking up our time<br>Taking up our time  
>It's taking up our time we can't<br>Go back, we can't go back at all  
>It's taking up our time we can't<br>Go back, we can't go back at all  
>It's taking up our time we can't<br>Go back, we can't go back at all  
>It's taking up our time, taking up our time,<em>"

Jamie took a deep breath beside her, and Mikan wondered just how hard this was for him, who refused to cry unless she wasn't looking, to appear strong, but was actually just a broken little boy wondering how things had become like this, wanting to get out and enjoy life, but trapped in a dark past.

"_Could you remind me of a time when we were so alive?_"

How horrible both of their lives had become, so different from what they wanted when they were younger, when things looked like they could only get better, but somewhere along the line, there ships crashed, and they were the sole survivors of it, but much as they tried, they couldn't get to land to save themselves and send help for the others, and they didn't notice that everyday they were sinking just a little bit more.

"_Do you remember that? Do you remember that?_"

A few claps went up, unsure of whether to applaud or worry, and Mikan looked down, shoulders hunched and bangs covering the face of what used to be innocence.

Utau-sensei cleared her throat awkwardly and stood up. "Jamie, Mikan, can you two please wait in the hall for me?"

Mikan grabbed Jamie's hand and they walked into the hall, where Mikan finally let out a sob and clung to Jamie. He hugged her back, this time not only trying to comfort her, but himself, something he rarely needed to do.

"We're both pretty stupid, huh?" he hummed after a moment. "Now there's going to rumors like there was in America."

"Well, there probably would be anyways. So who cares?"

"We probably will eventually. Oh, there's something I-"

The door opened quickly and Utau stepped out interrupting Jamie. "Well, you've got a group of kids talking about you two, rumors spreading already, and lots of awkward looks."

"We figured as much," Mikan shrugged. "Let the rumors spread like wildfires, most of them won't be even close to the truth, and if one of them is, we can still deny it."

She sighed. "I know you guys have… _troubling_ pasts, but scaring the wits out of the class won't solve anything."

"Don't flatter yourself, Utau, you're –our- therapist, but not even you know everything." Mikan snapped. "Theirs some secrets that me and Jamie even keep from each other."

Jamie nodded in agreement, arms folded across his chest. "You can't drag everything out. There will always be some horrors we can never tell you."

She sighed again, "Look, I know you'll never tell me everything, but I want you to know that you _can_ trust me."

"We know." Jamie interrupted quickly, and Mikan was inclined to agree.

Utau turned to her. "Mikan, I need a word with Jamie, can you go back in please?" she paused before adding, "And I'll be gone for about ten minutes, so… distract the class. Play an instrument and tell them that Utau says to practice dance.

Mikan shrugged, sent a suspicious glance at Jamie, and strode back into the classroom, tears gone, defiance radiating off of her.

"Utau says to practice dancing, and if you know what's good for you, you will." She stated simply, grabbing a guitar on her way to her seat.

About half the class got up to dance, wither scared of Utau or her, and the other half stayed sitting and talked.

"_Kimi ga ookkina ookkina koe de warattara  
>Sugu ni manekko isshoni waratta ne<em>,"

It was just a quiet hum to herself, but Hotaru's eyes flicked to her, wide with disbelief. At the fact that she was singing, of all the songs she knew, Shiawase no Niji.

"_Te wo tsunaide aruita michi  
>Kyou wa futari de kakekkoshiyou<br>Kimi to iru to donna sekai mo akaruku kagayaku yo  
>Sonna kimi no tonari ni iru<br>Konna chiicha na shiawase wo  
>Hitotsu hitotsu dakishime nagara egao ni kaeru yo<br>Jidensha de kugurinuketa ano niji no you ni  
>HAPPII na iro de iyou itsumademo,<em>"

Along with Hotaru's odd look, almost all of the people that weren't dancing were now listening, and the people that were dancing were dancing to the song.

"_Utsumuite aruita michi  
>Kyou wa futari de kakekkoshi you<br>Ue wo mukimasho donna sekai mo akaruku kagayaku yo  
>Sonna kimi no tonari ni iru<br>Konna chiicha na shiawase wo  
>Hitotsu hitotsu dakishime nagara egao ni kaeru yo<br>Jidenshe de kugurinuketa ano niji no you ni  
>HAPPII na iro de ite ne itsumademo<br>Kenka shita kokoro no kyouri wa  
>Monosashijya hakarenai<br>Korae kirezu koboreta namida  
>Futari de nugui aeba<br>Jidensha de kugurinuketa ano niji no you ni  
>HAPPII na iro de iyou itsumademo<br>Kimi to ookkina ookkina koe de waratteku  
>HAPPII na iro de iyou itsumademo,<em>"

She turned to the door as Jamie wandered back in, going and whispering something in Jade's ear quickly, causing her to let out a small squeal and clapped a hand quickly over her mouth, glancing at Mikan.

He sat back on his seat beside Mikan, and she waited for him to say something. "What did you tell Jade?" she asked impatiently when he didn't.

He smiled wryly. "You'll see."

"Where did Utau go?" she persisted.

The grin stayed placed. "You'll see."

She stared at him evilly for a minute, before giving up and turning away to ignore him.

"Aw, you're going to ignore me. Whatever will I do?" he taunted, trying to get her to lose her temper so soon.

She hopped away from him, going back to the front of the class, spiting him bitterly.

"_I can't feel my senses  
>I just feel the cold<br>All colors seem to fade away  
>I can't reach my soul<br>I would stop running, if I knew there was a chance  
>It tears me apart to sacrifice it all, but I'm forced to let go,<em>"

Her music alice instinctively kicked in so there was background noise, and she ignored the shocked look Jamie sent her as she once again hurt herself through music.

"_Tell me I'm frozen, but what can I do?  
>Can't tell the reasons I did it for you<br>When lies turn into truth I sacrificed for you  
>You say that I'm frozen, but what can I do?<em>"

All these people, thinking she was colder now, but she was only protecting them, sacrificing even more of her happiness to keep her friends alive and well, because Kuonji, though not a principal here anymore, still had things here keeping them alive, and even though she hated admitting it, without him, she and her friends would be dead by now.

"_I can feel your sorrow  
>You won't forgive me,<br>but I know you'll be all right  
>It tears me apart that you will never know, but I have to let go,<em>"

Would they ever know how much she sacrificed for them to live? Probably not. When Kuonji let her go, he'd probably make it seem like she had nothing to do with it.

These precious people to her wouldn't appreciate her doing this, anyway.

"_Tell me I'm frozen, but what can I do?  
>Can't tell the reason's I did it for you<br>When lies turn into truth I sacrificed for you  
>You say that I'm frozen, but what can I do?<em>  
>"<em>Everything will slip away<br>Shattered pieces will remain  
>When memories fade into emptiness<br>Only time will tell its tale  
>If it has all been in vain,<em>  
>"<em>I can't feel my senses<br>I just feel the cold  
>Frozen…<br>But what can I do?  
>Frozen…<em>  
>"<em>Tell me I'm frozen! But what can I do?<br>Can't tell the reasons I did it for you!  
>When lies turn into truth, I sacrificed for you!<br>You say I'm frozen… frozen…_"

But the only one she was really concentrated on saving when she sacrificed so much was the boy she was staring at, willing to understand, but knowing he wouldn't until she finally told him everything; Natsume.

Someone opened the door and screamed loudly, bringing Mikan out of her thoughts and causing multiple other students to cry out in shock.

Jamie smiled and got to his feet and Jade ran towards the door as Mikan turned to look at who she was sure was Mitsuki, her best friend who was supposed to be in America.

She was right(Of course, who else would come to _her_ classroom just to terrify her?), and she let out a cry of happiness. "Mitsuki-chan! What are you doing here?" she demanded the blue-eyed brunette.

Mitsuki ran towards her and tackled her into a tight hug. "Mikan-chan! I missed you so much! We had to come and visit, I couldn't handle not seeing you for even a day, and everyone was scared cause I was so sad!"

"We? You mean…?"

"Hey, _babe_." Arden greeted striding coolly into the room, green eyes sparkling mischievously. He opened his arms for an expected hug and she ran to him quickly. He twirled her in a quick circle and laughed, planting a small peck on her cheek. "Do you _honestly_ think we wouldn't stalk you here?"

"Well, I was worried… they let you guys come? Is Claire here?"

"And why wouldn't I come if all the others came?" Claire's voice demanded as she entered the room, flicking her blond hair behind her head haughtily.

"Claire!" Mikan jumped away from Arden and ran over to her, and Jade instantly took her place in his arms, squealing in excitement. "I can't believe you're all here! Who sent for you?" she paused then turned to Jamie, who was smirking at her.

"I was going to tell you earlier, but it seemed so much more suitable to surprise you." She smacked him hard on the arm. "Ow. I was expecting more of a, 'Oh my God, Jamie you are the most wonderful person in the world, and I want to have your babies' reaction."

She smacked him again. "That's for not telling me. And yes, you are the most wonderful person in the world. But no babies for you."

He laughed and turned his eyes on Claire, who immediately blushed and turned away. He ruffled her hair with a laugh. "You really can't think of a better reaction than that? How about, 'I'll have your babies!'"

She blushed brighter and backed away from him, fixing her hair and trying to regain her dignity. "You wish! Contain your hormones you horrid pervert!"

Mikan laughed and Jamie grinned widely. "What, no hugs for me? Not even from _you,_ dearest Claire?"

Mikan laughed harder and Claire turned in another direction once again.

"Aw, c'mon, you know you missed me! And I haven't gotten a hug from you in three days…" he pouted at her and added, "I missed _you_," in a whiny voice.

She didn't relent, instead turned her attention to Jade, who seemed to forget –like Mikan had- that they were in a classroom, and was clinging to Arden like a burr. "Oi, Jade, if you could let go of lover-boy for a moment, maybe you'd like to greet me?"

Jade turned to her, a mixture of annoyance and embarrassment on her face. "Hello, Claire, it would be better to see you if you didn't interrupt my happiness."

Mikan backed away from them and back to Mitsuki, who was watching with almost as much as amusement as she was as they started arguing.

"Oh, phooey," Mitsuki grumbled. "I forgot. Utau will be here soon… with Alexandria and David…"

Mikan's face twisted in disgust. "Why would they come? Ugh…"

"Alex wanted to steal some 'Japanese hotties' from you, and David… well, you know…"

Mikan groaned in annoyance. "If you even _think_ about telling me he's here to ask me out again, I will go and jump out of this window…"

"Ugh, no, worse. He's here to boast that he's going out with Alexandria now…"

Mikan was silent for a moment. "Then why is Alexandria here to flirt with boys?" she asked, already knowing the answer.

"She still despises you." Mitsuki stated simply, looking around the classroom and examining the students. "Its weird to be back in Japan. I can't even remember living here when I was younger." She hummed quietly then turned back to Mikan, smiling coyly. "So, have _you_ gotten a boyfriend yet, or are we going to be the two lonesome single ladies – again. Not that Claire and Jamie are _officially_ together. They've both got to much pride to admit anything."

"You know I'm not interested in a relationship…" Mikan mumbled, blushing awkwardly as her gaze snapped quickly to Natsume, the back to Mitsuki.

"Yes, yes, so you say." Mitsuki said with a wave of her hand. "_But_, you just looked at a boy. With crimson eyes. As you said your fiancé had."

"I'm never sharing any of my private business with you again."

"Yes, yes, so you say." Mitsuki repeated. "So, have you guys rekindled your relationship and stuff?"

"He can probably hear us!" Mikan snapped quietly.

"Oh relax, we're using English."

"He's the smartest boy in the school. He _knows_ English."

"Well, what's there to be embarrassed about?" she complained. "Don't tell me Jamie did something. I'll beat him."

"All Jamie had to do was exist," Mikan replied dryly. "Now, please, cut the romance crap. I have no interest. Except in getting Jamie and Claire together… still."

"I thought one of them would've confessed the day you guys left…"

"Well, it seems not." Mikan pointed to the two, both grumbling to each other, both clearly blushing, but neither of them making a move. "They're so slow!"

"Oh yes, because we work _much_ faster." Mitsuki retorted. "Because it only took you a day to catch David's interest for four years."

"I don't like that weirdo!" Mikan snapped. "He's creepy, possessive of what's not his, and stalked me. It's creepy!"

"Yes, yes," Mitsuki said again. "Introduce me to someone; mine as well do something while we're here!"

"I don't know anyone here."

"So, you don't know anyone, even though you do?"

"Precisely."

"Well," she drawled, linking arms with Mikan. "Now's the time too!" she dragged Mikan down a few seats to where Natsume was sitting with Ruka and Hotaru. "Hi, I'm Mitsuki, and I like milk!" she greeted, sticking her hand out in front of Natsume's face expectantly. "Did Jade use that greeting too? She promised she would."

Mikan shook her head.

"…I'm going to kick her ass so hard Arden won't ever be able to make a perverted comment about it again…" she waved her hand in front of Natsume's face when he didn't shake it. "Hello! Shake my hand or I'll bite you!"

A couple of questioning glances.

"She's serious…" Mikan replied, rolling her eyes. "She did it with me when we first met. She has sharp teeth." She added, and Natsume hesitantly shook her hand, followed by Ruka and Hotaru.

"So," Mitsuki started again. "What are your names?"

"Give me fifty rabbits and they will be revealed."

"Okay, so you must be Hotaru Imai, the blackmailer with the invention alice." Mitsuki guessed correctly. "And crimson-eyed meanie is Natsume Hyuuga, and that leaves rabbit-boy to be Ruka Nogi."

"I've taught you well." Mikan replied dryly, trying to unhook her arm from Mitsuki's and failing.

"Where do you think you're trying to escape too?" she demanded. "I just got here and I want to meet your old friends! And fiancé! C'mon!"

Hotaru's and Ruka's eyes flicked to Natsume in surprise as she said fiancé, and Natsume looked down awkwardly.

"Is there something you've been keeping from us, crimson-eyed meanie?" Hotaru growled, baka-gun out and aiming. "Mind saying what _fiancé_ meant?"

"…Well it means people are engaged…" Natsume replied, staring at the baka-gun in annoyance.

She cocked it. "And mind saying _why_ she said it?"

Mikan face-palmed. "You didn't tell them that we met up four years ago, did you?"

"…No…"

"And here I was so sure you'd be parading around gloating."

"You've got three seconds Hyuuga."

He was silent for one of them. "So _maybe_ we saw each other four years ago… and _maybe_ we exchanged alice stones… and _maybe_ I forced her to kiss me and say she loved me…"

Mikan snatched the baka-gun away before Hotaru could shoot, and Hotaru glared furiously at her. "Give me that gun. I've got business to take care of."

"Now, now, no need to horribly embarrass Natsume – no matter how funny it would be. We're not engaged anymore."

"You're not?" Mitsuki, Hotaru and Ruka blurted out at the same time Natsume asked, "We're not?"

"No. I threw his alice stone out." She lied, ignoring the shock all of them looked like they were in; and in pain, for Natsume. "I don't plan on marrying. Or dating, being engaged, or having a relationship."

"Liar." Mitsuki snapped, hands on her hips. "You always wore that damn thing around your neck or arm. And if I'm right –and I know I am- you have it on now."

"…Damn you." Mikan hissed pulling her sleeve down further to cover the necklace she wore as a bracelet.

"Stop trying to hurt your friends!"

"I'm _not_ trying to hurt them! I'm protecting them from more pain, and you bloody well know that! _You know what's going to happen!_" she ripped her arm away from Mitsuki. "Natsume can _have_ his stone back, along with all of his memories, because I want to forget them and forget him!" she took it off of her arm, though she didn't want to, and thrust it at Natsume. "It's this that ruined my life anyway!"

She dropped the necklace on Natsume when he didn't take it and stalked back to her seat, moments later joined by Mitsuki.

"I didn't mean to make you snap like that…" she whispered painfully. "I just want you to be friends with them again…"

Mikan sighed. "Mitsuki, you _know_ I don't want them to be my friends anymore… You're the only one who knows the reason; I haven't even told Jamie! I just…" she shook her head blankly. "Just _please_ stop. It's to painful for me."

"But you're putting them in pain doing this!"

"But I'm trying to save them from future pain."

"By doing _this_? They'll still love you Mikan, and you're just causing them pain now as well as later!"

"I don't want to discuss this anymore!"

Mitsuki let out a sigh. "Mikan, you're my best friend. I know that you believe what I said, but you won't acknowledge it."

Mikan stayed silent, almost thankful when the door opened - almost.

In stepped Utua-sensei, Alexandria and David.

Instantly Alexandria smiled at everyone, eyes scanning over the boys, choosing her prey. Mikan wasn't surprised when they landed on Natsume, who was now sitting by himself, Hotaru having dragged Ruka away to spite him for keeping a secret from them.

Then her smile disappeared as she caught Mikan's eyes, and she strode over quickly, smiling slyly. "Well, Miss Yuki-blah-blah, so nice to see you."

"Yuki_hara_." Mikan corrected uselessly. "And we both know you're not happy to see me."

"So true. But I'm sure you have your ideas on why I've come?"

"Mitsuki and me agree that you want to flirt with the hottest boy in class. And it seems Natsume has caught your eye."

"Ah, is that his name? Lovely. Help me flirt with him."

"…What?"

"Well, _I_ can't speak Japanese! You must do it for me!" She grabbed Mikan's arm and dragged her over to him quickly. "Tell him my name."

'_He can speak English you batty cow!_' Mikan wanted to scream. Instead, speaking Japanese she spoke to Natsume, "This is Alexandria. She wants me to help her flirt with you because she can't speak Japanese and she's too daft to listen when I say that you can speak English. Please humor her, she's rather stupid."

He stared at her, eyes emotionless as he fiddled with his alice stone necklace in his hand. "Tell her I'm not interested."

"He's not interested." Mikan stated in English to Alexandria.

"Ooh, what did you say to him?" she demanded furiously. "You probably insulted me to turn him away! Say something nice about me!"

"You heard her," Mikan said to Natsume. "So what's your reply?"

"Tell her I'm engaged."

"We've just discussed this Natsume." Mikan said, gritting her teeth.

"Tell her anyway."

"He's engaged." Mikan repeated to Alexandria.

"Liar! What did he say?"

"Tell her I'm engaged to _you_." Natsume said, staring down at her. "Say we're engaged, properly. I want to hear it clearly, and I want it to come from your own mouth."

'_You bastard! Saying something like that, repeating the words you said four years ago! How am I supposed to say something different when you put it like that!_' "Persistent bastard." She retorted angrily.

"Tell her. I'm right here listening, and I could tell her." He paused and she didn't say anything. "If you regret saying what you said earlier to me, say it."

She glared at him, and the words slipped out of her mouth uncontrollably. "Natsume is engaged to _me_, only to me, and will always love me and I him, he isn't and never will be interested in you, you idiotic woman." She paused before adding, "Dammit, Natsume…"

Natsume smirked triumphantly.

"You're lying! You are! What is he saying!"

"He can speak damn near perfect English and has heard everything you've said, and if he wanted me to say something different, he would have told me, hag."

"Then tell him to say something in English!"

"Mikan's right." Natsume stated. "You're an idiotic hag. And she said what I wanted her too."

Alexandria's mouth fell open, and she glared at Mikan. "So then he's fine that you and Jamie slept together almost every night, and you were _just_ dating him?" she asked bitterly.

"Jamie and I are, have been, and always will be friends. I know it, and you know too. Does Jamie _honestly_ look like he's interested in anyone besides Claire?" she asked, looking over Alexandria's shoulder at Jamie and Claire, who were both still blushing and talking.

Alex's head whipped around and she stared at them unbelievingly. "You- so what! You two were all over each other in America!"

"We get along, relate because of our pasts, comfort each other when we're down, and on occasion flirt because we're bored. Sorry for being close, I'll lock myself in the attic."

"What about David!"

"He followed me around like a love-sick, stalker weirdo. Congrats on scoring him."

Hearing his name, David walked over, smiling charmingly at Mikan. "Mikan, lovely to see you again." He greeted, kissing the back of her hand.

Natsume swatted Mikan's hand away from David protectively. "Don't touch her."

Mikan wiped the back of her hand off on her shirt. "Don't kiss me, creep. I don't want the germs of an idiot that has failed four grades touching me. You know I'm not interested, and despise you because of what you've done."

Natsume looked at her curiously, and Alexandria's eyes flashed in confusion.

"I'm sorry for loving you." David hissed, eyes growing cold. "But I don't think I can learn to stop." He grabbed a strand of her hair gently, smiling oddly. "We've known each other for four years exactly now, you know."

Mikan stepped back so she was standing right beside Natsume, and his arm snaked around her waist. "I don't want you touching me. I don't want you coming near me. If I so much as see your face again, I will scream for help, and this time _I will get it_. Because David," she leaned forward so just him and her could hear her. "_Natsume _will_ save me this time_."

His eyes narrowed then flicked to look at Natsume, and he grabbed Alexandria's hand and stormed out of the classroom, leaving Mikan stare after him in silence, leaving the threat that didn't need to be spoken aloud. "_You can't run away from me; you're already mine and have been for four years._"

Natsume's grip tightened around her waist. "What did he do to you that was horrible enough to make you cry?"

'_I'm crying?_' she thought blankly. She broke away from him and ran towards the door, feeling sick. His footsteps followed hers.

"Mikan?" Jamie's voice asked in shock as she ran by him blindly to get the door. "What happened? Where are you going?" he demanded, and he chased after her too.

She ignored him and kept running, turning corners absently, before she slammed into a vacant room, cluttered with dusty furniture.

She locked the door and shoved a chair under it just as someone tried to shove it open. "What happened?" she heard Jamie's voice demand Natsume.

"I don't know! She just ran off after some weirdo named David did!"

"David…? What on earth is he doing here…?"

"You know why he's here," Mitsuki's voice came. "He's got some twisted fetish for Mikan." She paused then there was a small knock. "Mikan-chan, please open the door. What's wrong?"

Mikan didn't reply, searching through the room absentmindedly.

"You have the mind-reading alice, what's she thinking!" Jamie snapped, trying unsuccessfully to open the door.

There was a moment of silence then Mitsuki shrieked. "Get the door open _now_! She's going to hurt herself!"

Instantly the door burst into flames and Natsume barged in through them, and Jamie put them out and followed with a wide-eyed Mitsuki at his heels.

"What do you think you're doing?" Natsume demanded, grabbing a piece of shattered glass that she didn't remember picking up, out of her hand.

Mitsuki gasped suddenly, and Mikan's foggy eyes turned to her. "He…was the one…who…?" she slid to the floor and sat beside Mikan.

"Who did what? What are you talking about?" Jamie demanded impatiently in a shaky voice.

"David…" Mitsuki's voice cut off sharply, and she breathed heavily before continuing, "David was the one who raped Mikan…"

Jamie's eyes dilated in horror, before he let out a raspy laugh. "That's… not possible… David was in America…right?"

Mitsuki burst into tears. "She had to see him everyday in class! No wonder she hated him so much!"

Mikan looked at Jamie blankly, waiting for him to say or do something, and when he didn't, turned her gaze Natsume, who was looking down, bangs covering his eyes so she couldn't see his emotions.

She stood up. "It doesn't matter!"

Jamie grabbed her hand as she started for the door. "_Doesn't matter?_" he repeated coldly, and Mikan almost flinched. "_Why_ didn't you _tell_ me something so _important?_"

"It doesn't matter! It's in the past! I'd hate him anyway!" she yanked her hand away from him, backing towards the door, then cursed when Natsume grabbed her other hand to prevent her from leaving.

"_You should have told me!_" Jamie repeated painfully. "I thought you trusted me!"

"I do trust you!" Mikan snapped weakly. "But I don't tell you everything…"

"_What_ haven't you told me?" he practically screamed, eyes boring in hers so she had to look away.

"You know everything about me now, except _one thing!_ Can't you leave it like that? I know you haven't told me things!" she breathed deeply. "Mitsuki knows about the rape, and the one thing you don't know; Utau knows about the rape and the murder; Natsume knows about the rape – you're the only people that know these things! Can't I keep one thing away from you?" she paused, almost expecting him to reply, then added in a calmer tone, "You tell me the thing you've been keeping from me, and I'll tell you."

Jamie looked down, jaw clenched. "I can't… I've tried to tell you lots of times, but I'm not ready too…"

"And I'm not ready to share either. When the time comes, I _will_ tell you. But it isn't now."

He smiled bitterly. "Of course it's not. _But_," He draped an arm across her shoulders and pulled her away from Natsume's grasp, into one of his awkward hugs. "I expect you to tell me everything else important that happens to you from now on."

Mikan sighed, half relieved, half annoyed. "Deal."

He backed away and patted her head. "Okay. So, because this is relatively important, and you have to tell me the truth, I want to ask you something; do you _really_ love me more than Natsume?" he grinned cheekily, and she pounced at him furiously.

"How is _that_ important? You already know the answer!" she whacked him in the chest, ignoring the curious look from Mitsuki, and the emotionless one from Natsume.

"Okay, okay, no need to be violent." He coughed, shoving her away so she wouldn't hit him again. "But answer me this, then; do you still want to be _marry_ Natsume?"

She did a flying jump kick she remembered trying to use on Hotaru years ago on him, this time successfully hitting him in the stomach, and he crashed to the ground. "_Must_ you change the awkward-sadness in the room to perverted—awkwardness?"

"Yes. It's my duty." He paused, getting to his feet. "That hurt, you witch!"

"You deserved it, you bastard!" she retorted and laughed. Only Jamie could change the mood in a room so quickly.

He huffed, irritated. "Well," he drawled, putting his arm around Mikan again, ignoring Natsume's death-glare. "Shall we get back to class before Utau gets to concerned?"

She nodded, and they walked towards the door, but not before Mikan grabbed Natsume's hand to pull him along, and she smiled reassuringly at Mitsuki, who followed obiedently.

"So… do you still want to marry Natsume?" Jamie repeated when they were halfway back to class.

Natsume's hand tightened around hers, and she knew he wanted her answer too.

"Do _you_ like Claire?" she retorted instead of answering.

"…Okay. So if I said yes, that would mean that you mean yes too?"

"…Did you just admit it?"

"No. I'm checking."

"Well, no."

"Okay. Well, I'll stop asking so many questions now."

"You better, bastard."

* * *

><p><strong>Lookie, another chapter!<strong>

**17 pages, over 7,000 words.**

**Songs:**

**Determinate, Lemonade Mouth**

**Franklin, Paramore**

**Shiawase no Niji, the ending theme to the Gakuen Alice anime.**

**Frozen, Within Temptation**

**Now, for a small shout-out to Amai Youkaiko, and all other mind-readers. If you can guess what I'm thinking right now, I will freak out.**

**I plan on using a couple of other Within Temptation songs (Amai, you mind-reader, you can be thanked for this.)**

**I want to say this: No, Natsume and Mikan aren't together. Still. Sigh.**

**Natsume still hasn't gotten his question answered, even **_**if**_** Mikan is making it painstakingly obvious. But he will soon, no worries. There is hope for them being together, even if it **_**is**_** for a short time.**

**Yes, I did hint at something there.**

**Please review! Pretend I'm a hobo that needs money for food. Except I'm a writer, and you have spare reviews.**


	11. What Have You Done Now?

"Don't deny it, Jamie – you like Claire." Mikan insisted as they continued to the classroom. "Why else would you blush and stutter and tease?"

"Don't deny it, Mikan," Jamie imitated, "you want to have Natsume's babies." He paused, watching as Mikan's cheeks grew red. "Why else would you blush and stutter and, dare I say, flirt?"

"You dare not say." Mikan hissed, elbowing him roughly. "I'm not a flirt!"

"You're right. You just attract men." He smirked, nodding to himself, and Mikan scowled. "You flaunt."

"I do not!" Mikan cried.

"She doesn't have anything to flaunt about." Natsume concluded, smirking. "No curves, polka-dotted panties," he paused, then stretched her shirt forward and looked into it. "No boobs either. Just flatlands, still." He sighed, as though thoroughly disappointed.

"Woah, you weren't kidding when you said he did that." Mitsuki laughed as Mikan screamed nonsense at him, covering her chest with her arms.

"I hate you all!" Mikan called, running ahead of them.

"Love you too!" Mitsuki and Jamie replied in unison, then laughed and high-fived.

Mikan whipped the door to the music room open and stormed in, ignoring the peculiar looks she always got when she entered a room.

She sat down at her seat with a huff, ignoring Mitsuki as she sat next to her.

"Aw, c'mon, Mikan. That was hilarious; I thought you were kidding when you told me that happened."

"Well, I wasn't!" Mikan snapped, shrinking into her seat slightly as Natsume passed her with an amused smirk. "As if I could get any more embarrassed…"

"Well, then, I guess you wont like what I'm about to tell you." Utau said, smiling wryly. She called to get the classes attention. "For the last little while of our class, I would like everyone to get a partner and dance, and Mikan and her band to sing a song or two more."

Oh hell no.

"I've already picked the partners"-She wouldn't-"And I've come up with Arden and Jade, Jamie and Claire, Ruka and Hotaru, Koko and Sumire," she continued to list off names, dreading who she knew her partner was.

Damned therapists.

"And last, Mikan and Natsume."

Traitor.

She wouldn't say that out loud, but Utau could probably hear her screaming it in her head.

Utau smiled at her and motioned for everyone to get up and get their partner.

Mikan remained seated as everyone hesitantly got to their feet and found their partners.

"…Utau didn't give me a partner…" Mitsuki scoffed beside her.

"Well, you're going to be single forever." Mikan decided, folding her arms in front of her chest as Natsume approached. "If you think I'm dancing with you after what you ju-" her voice trailed off as she caught Utau coming closer to her with a rope. "…Yeah, let's dance…"

Natsume turned to look at what she was looking at then 'hn'ed in boredom, reaching out to take her hands with an eye roll, and she allowed him too, glaring the whole time.

Utau sat down, though did look a little disappointed, scarily enough. Utau clicked on the music, and Mikan glanced at her as she realized that it was her singing Back to December.

_I'm so glad you made time to see me  
>How's life? Tell me, how's your family?<br>I haven't seen them in a while  
>You've been good, busier than ever<br>We small talk, work and the weather  
>Your guard is up, and I know why<em>

_Because the last time you saw me  
>Is still burned in the back of your mind<br>You gave me roses, and I left them there to die  
>So this is me swallowing my pride<br>Standing in front of you, saying I'm sorry for that night  
>And I go back to December all the time<em>

This was the first song she had actually mastered. She had liked going 'back to December' so to speak, and reliving what happened and forgetting that Kuonji existed and ruined her life.

But why would Utau put on this song?

_It turns our freedom ain't nothing but missing you  
>Wishing I'd realized that I had when you were mine<br>I go back to December, turn it around and make it alright  
>I go back to December all the time<br>These days, I haven't been sleeping  
>Staying up, playing back myself leaving<br>When your birthday passed, and I didn't call  
>Then I think about summer, all the beautiful times<br>I watched you laughing from the passenger side  
>And I realized I loved you in the fall<em>

"At least smile at little!" Natsume snapped, breaking her away from her thoughts. "You super ugly girl. Wet blanket."

'_What's with this guy repeating the past?_' Mikan thought in annoyance, holding back her angry retort.

Instead, her eyes flicked towards his eyebrows, and she turned away with a snort of amusement. They were still short.

"What are you laughing about?"

'_Really, can't be more original?_'

"Nothing. Not telling you."

'_Well, neither can I._'

_And then the cold came, the dark days  
>When fear crept into my mind<br>You gave me all your love, and all I gave you was goodbye  
>So this is me swallowing my pride<br>Standing in front of you, saying I'm sorry for that night  
>And I go back to December all the time<br>It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you  
>Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine<br>I go back to December all the time  
>I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile<br>So good to me, so right  
>And how you held me in your arms that September night<br>The first time you ever saw me cry  
>Maybe this is wishful thinking<br>Probably mindless dreaming  
>But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right<em>

"Watch your feet." Natsume growled in frustration after she stepped on his foot.

"Watch _your_ feet," Mikan retorted, "_I've_ been in dancing lessons, and know how to. You put your foot in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"Don't blame me because you were trained wrong, ugly girl."

"_I_ was trained wrong?" Mikan exclaimed loudly, and a couple of people looked over, so she lowered her voice. "I've won competitions with Jamie as my partner. I am _so_ much better than you!" Not a second later she realized that she had, once again, brought Jamie into the conversation.

And Natsume must have noticed it too, because he looked annoyed again, and didn't reply.

_I'd go back in time and change it, but I can't  
>So if the chain is on your door, I understand<br>This is me swallowing my pride  
>Standing in front of you, saying I'm sorry for that night<br>And I go back to December  
>It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you<br>Wising I'd realized what I had when you were mine  
>I go back to December, turn around and make it alright<br>I go back to December, turn around and change my own mind  
>I go back to December all the time<em>

Mikan froze as the song ended, eyes trailing over to Jamie and Claire, who's faces were _very_ unnaturally close. She looked away in embarrassment, eyes going to Mitsuki, who was sitting in her seat, not having a partner, and watching Claire and Jamie with huge eyes.

Suddenly her hands clapped over her eyes, and Mikan's eyes switched back to Jamie and Claire.

Her hand flew to cover her mouth in case she let out a squeak, and she turned away quickly. That was by far one of the most embarrassing things she had witnessed – that involved Jamie, anyway.

"Why are you red?" Natsume asked, seeming to finally take notice of her embarrassment. She coughed and pointed in the direction she had been looking, and Natsume glanced over, then away awkwardly.

"I have this urge to go up and yell '_lip-blocked_' at the top of my lungs for revenge…" Mikan said quietly.

"Get some!"

"Or, you know, Arden could save me the embarrassment and do something himself." Mikan snickered as Jamie blushed horribly and looked around to make sure no one had seen - which some people had.

No thanks to Arden.

"Our little Jamie's growing up." Mitsuki sighed behind her (Mikan couldn't recall her coming over) "Such a… thing that probably should've happened awhile ago."

"My eyes! They buuurrrnnnnnn!" Jade added, walking up beside them with Arden.

"What, nothing to mock him with Mikan?" Mitsuki asked after a moment. "You're usually the one that would go after these things first."

"I can't even think of an appropriate reaction to this. Except that it's completely embarrassing, and I almost pity them."

"She's feeling _pity_? Call the ambulance." Arden scoffed.

"I've had my fair share of public humiliations." Mikan mused.

"Oh, have you now?" Arden leaned forward expectantly.

"I'm not telling you them."

He frowned. "Well, you're no fun. But to point out something embarrassing right now, the guy you were dancing with –Natsume, or something- his arms are still around you."

Mikan, taking notice that he was right, jumped away from Natsume quickly, flushing. "Whatev- what in the hell is Yuuki doing here?"

Mitsuki looked at Utau, who had a toddler sitting on her lap. "Jamie didn't want me to bring her… but I thought I should."

Yuuki watched her with something akin to admiration, blue eyes shining. "Onee-chan."

Mikan smiled painfully then went over to Utau to pick her up. "Yuuki, I missed you." She turned to Mitsuki again as Yuuki clung to her. "It was dangerous to bring her here, you know that."

Mitsuki smiled guiltily. "She cried because you were gone. I think I would hate myself if I had to leave her." She leaned towards Mikan and whispered quickly, "She's been calling for her sister and you in her sleep. She was hurting badly."

Mikan set down the three-and-a-half year-old, and she looked up at Mikan with wide eyes.

"You put her hair in pigtails…" Mikan whispered, readjusting one as it came undone.

"She loves your old pigtails, Mikan. And her hair looks just like yours – it's perfect for pigtails." Mitsuki sighed, scratching the back of her head awkwardly.

"…Why did you put her in so much danger?"

"Mikan, she needs you. You probably need her too."

"Kuonji told me she couldn't come here with me!"

"We whined at him until he agreed," Jade admitted, "We couldn't leave our mascot behind!" Jade smiled and ruffled Yuuki's fixed hair, and Mikan sighed before redoing it again.

Yuuki giggled, then tugged it out of her hair for Mikan to do again.

"You little…" Mikan grumbled, taking the other pigtail out of her hair. "No pigtails for you."

Yuuki glared at her evilly.

"I think she learned that from you." Mitsuki laughed.

"Wouldn't be surprising."

Yuuki turned to Natsume, glaring.

He glared back.

She smiled politely suddenly. "I know you!" Yuuki declared, punching the air triumphantly. "You're the man Mikan-nee has the pictures of!"

Mikan choked on air and looked away in embarrassment. Mitsuki laughed gleefully, picking Yuuki up and spinning her around. "We've taught her so well!"

"Oh, yes, just what we need…" Mikan mumbled, taking Yuuki away from her and putting the pigtails in again. "So," Mikan said, holding her in front of Natsume, "Do the pigtails make her look like a three-year-old me?"

Yuuki burped in his face and Jade burst into laughter.

"She's got the right attitude." Natsume replied dully, and Jade laughed harder.

"We've taught her so well!" Mitsuki repeated, laughing with Jade.

"You can't stay mad at someone so cute," Mikan sighed in amusement, "That burp made her more loveable. Even if it was disgusting."

Yuuki reached her arms towards Natsume in indication she wanted him to hold her.

"Take her," Mikan commanded. "You know you want to hold a three-year-old me with blue eyes. I was fucking cute."

Arden rolled his eyes. "Way to compliment yourself."

"Yes. It _was_ a way to compliment myself." Mikan agreed as Natsume hesitantly took Yuuki.

Yuuki looked at him innocently (Probably trying to make him forget her huge burp-in-the-face) then turned to Mikan again. "Is _he_ my daddy?"

"No!" Mikan coughed, blushing awkwardly. "You don't have a daddy."

"Everyone has a daddy!" Yuuki whined, "There can't be a mommy without a daddy!"

Mikan's eyes widened. "Who told you that? You're to young to hear such things!"

"Is Kaori-nee coming home?" Yuuki asked, avoiding the question. "Kaori told me she was going to be back when you two left. Is she coming back yet?"

Mikan flinched away from her, and Mitsuki snatched Yuuki quickly away from Natsume, covering her mouth. "Yuuki…Kaori… you're not supposed to bring her up…"

"Mikan," Utau called, bringing her attention away from Yuuki. "I wanted you to sing…?"

Mikan went over to her quickly, relieved to get away from the questions Yuuki asked. "Y-yes… I can do that." She motioned for the others to join her, trying to ignore Jamie's still extremely red cheeks (But it was hard to not mock him) and whispered the song to them quickly.

Jamie looked at her weirdly as he took his post on a bass guitar, probably wondering about her choice of songs.

"_Would you mind if I hurt you?  
>Understand that I need too<br>Wish that I had other choices  
>Than to harm the one I love,<em>"

Mikan started quietly, casting a quick glance at Natsume before her gaze returned to following Yuuki to make sure she didn't hurt herself – or someone else.

"_What have you done now?_"

That was Arden's roll in this song: one of the singers instead of an instrumentalist like he was usually on.

"_I know I'd better stop trying  
>You know that there's no denying<br>I won't show mercy on you now,_"

But Jamie would be a male singer too.

"_I know I should stop believing  
>I know there's no retrieving<br>It's over now, what have you done?_"

"_What have you done now?_"

"_I, I've been waiting for someone like you  
>But now you are slipping away<br>What have you done now?  
>Why, why does fate make us suffer?<br>There's a curse between us, between me and you,_"

'_It's funny,_" Mikan mused, '_I am cursed, in a way; because of my mother._' A bitter laugh rose in her throat, but she shoved it away. '_Like Cathy._'

"_What have you done?  
>What have you done?<br>What have you done?  
>What have you done?<br>What have you done now?  
>What have you done?<br>What have you done?  
>What have you done?<br>What have you done?  
>What have you done now?<em>"

Jade looked at Arden in amazement; he didn't sing often, but still had an amazing voice, like her, even if they both were too modest.

"_Would you mind if I killed you?  
>Would you mind if I tried to?<br>'Cause you have  
>Turned into my worst enemy<br>You carry hate that I don't feel  
>It's over now, what have you done?<em>"

She tried not to laugh when she heard Mitsuki whisper to herself, "Yes, I would mind very much if you tried to kill me."

Jamie looked rather amused too, so he must have heard it.

Leave it to Mitsuki to try and make a song like this funny.

"_What have you done now?_"

"_I, I've been waiting for someone like you  
>But now you are slipping away<br>What have you done now?  
>Why, why does fate make us suffer?<br>There's a curse between us, between me and you,_"

"_What have you done?  
>What have you done?<br>What have you done?  
>What have you done now?<br>What have you done?  
>What have you done?<br>What have you done?  
>What have you done?<br>What have you done now?_"

"_What have you done  
>What have you done?<br>What have you done?  
>What have you done?<br>What have you done?  
>What have you done?<br>What have you done?_"

Yuuki stared up at her with wide, sad eyes.

She could feel the pain in this, like she always could with Mikan's singing. Mikan could almost swear she had an alice for that, but if she did, no one knew.

"_I will not fall, won't let it go  
>We will be free when it ends<br>I, I've been waiting for someone like you  
>But now you are slipping away<br>What have you done now?  
>Why, why does fate make us suffer?<br>There's a curse between us, between me and you  
>I've been waiting for someone like you<br>But now you are slipping away  
>What have you done now?<br>Why, why does fate make us suffer?  
>There's a curse between us, between me and you!<em>"

Natsume's eyes flicked between her and Yuuki as he tried to catch the emotions in Mikan's eyes, but wanted to make sure Yuuki didn't accomplish pulling his pants down – which she was doing a good job of doing, though he always noticed her right before she started pulling again.

Hotaru had her camera out, and Mikan could almost see the money signs in her eyes, and Ruka was listening peacefully.

There was a small group of girls watching Jamie, and a small group watching Arden, and Arden's group was getting death looks from Jade, who wasn't afraid to show her violent, possessive side, and Claire was subtly sending annoyed looks at the other group.

Utau glanced at the clock then mouthed "_more_" seeing there was still almost ten minutes left of class.

Mikan sighed, eyes turning to Yuuki, who was now sitting on Natsume's lap, blue eyes flicking with emotions she hid very well at a young age. '_The same eyes as Kaori._' She thought sadly, and another song popped into her head.

"_Blue eyes just smile to the world  
>Full of dreams and with fascination<br>Too soon she saw that her hands were chained  
>And pulled without any freedom,<em>"

She started again without warning the others, who clumsily started playing again.

Yuuki watched her, blue eyes so innocent, so unknowing of how horrible life was going to become.

"_It's always the same  
>They fear no way out<br>I cannot break it  
>I can take it no more,<em>"

Eyes that mirrored Kaori's own eyes that were watching her, pleading for help as Mikan could do nothing but watch helplessly.

"_It's burning me up inside,  
>Lost all my tears, can't cry<br>No reason, no meaning  
>Just hatred,<em>"

But Kaori wouldn't ever hate her, even if it was her fault.

Kuonji's dark blue eyes would always watch her with hatred, and she would look at him with more than he could ever manage to look at her with.

"_No matter how hard I try  
>You fear the beast inside<br>It's growing, it's waiting  
>Just to hurt you,<em>"

Could she ever hurt Kuonji? Part of her doubted it.

She wanted nothing more than to see him suffer, but slowly she was running out of time for her revenge to take place, and he would probably get away with everything he had done to her.

"_This heart was hurt by the light  
>And I see your world that tries to deny us<br>Now everything that I love has died  
>Or has been shattered to pieces<br>It's always the same  
>They fear no way out<br>I cannot break it  
>I can take it no more,<em>"

Yuuki ran up to her, twirling girlishly, bringing Mikan out of her nightmares once more, as she was so good at.

She grabbed Mikan's hand and attempted to dance with her, coaxing a truly happy smile out of her.

"_Just to hurt you  
>Just to hurt you<br>Can't you see their eyes, what lies inside  
>They've given up, they no longer shine<br>Too soon they close with one last cry  
>Before they turn to light…<em>"

The smile faltered and Mikan looked away from her, out the window at the sky that shared the color of Kaori's eyes.

"_Please stop him! MOMMY!_"

Her eyes trailed back to Yuuki, who was looking at her curiously.

"_Just to hurt you…_"

Her breath caught, leaving the song finished, and she turned away from the class, blinking away tears as Kaori's smiling face flashed in front of her eyes.

Utau held one finger up to show she wanted one more song from her before she could leave for the day.

She frowned. '_How many times do you expect me to sing today?_' she wanted to snap. '_Do you _want_ me to lose my voice again?_'

But she sighed out the name of another song, and prepared to sing again.

"_If I tell you  
>Will you listen, will you stay?<br>Will you be here forever?  
>Never go away?<em>"

She sat on the piano bench with Claire, and Yuuki climbed into her lap with a sleepy yawn.

She saw Natsume nod to the questions in the song out of the corner of her eye.

'_So you just _know_ these are directed at you?_' She thought in annoyance, '_If they weren't, I'd smack you._'

"_Never thought things would change  
>Hold me tight<br>Please don't say again  
>That you have to go<br>A bitter thought I had it all  
>But I just let it go<br>Oh, this silence it's so violent  
>Since your gone<br>All my thoughts are with you forever  
>Until the day we'll be back together<br>I will be waiting for you,_'

Perhaps this was aimed a little at Kauri too, who she hoped could hear her wherever she was.

Because she would always wait to see her again.

She would wait _forever_ if she had too.

"_If I had told you  
>You would have listened<br>You had stayed  
>You would be here forever<br>Never went away  
>It would never have been the same<br>All our time would have been in vain  
>'Cause you had to go,<em>"

And now she was thinking of Natsume again, talking with him in the hospital.

Should she have taken her chance then to tell him?

Something kept telling her not to say anything, and the other part wanted to scream to everyone what had happened to her in the past four years, to make them understand why she was so different.

"_The sweetest thought I had it all  
>'Cause I did let you go<br>All our moments keep me warm  
>When you're gone<br>All my thoughts are with you forever  
>Until the day we'll back together<br>I will waiting for you._"

But she had let her old friends go.

She couldn't torment them by pretending to be her old self.

Yuuki had drifted into a deep sleep by the time she finished, and Mikan's face cracked into a small smile as she looked down at her.

"Who knew our little kohai could sing?" she heard Tsubasa whisper by the door, and she turned in shock.

"Tsubasa-senpai! Misaki-senpai!" she paused and glanced at Yuuki, who was still sleeping, then added in a quieter voice, "I didn't know you were here. Class isn't over yet…"

"Misaki attacked my class with dodge-balls for revenge." Tsubasa rolled his eyes. "Everyone ran off."

"…Well, that seems… normal…?" Mikan questioned weirdly.

"Unfortunately, it is."

"…Uh… okay. I was going to come catch up with you soon, why'd you come here?"

Misaki answered before Tsubasa could, "To pick you up!" Tsubasa nodded in agreement.

Mikan stood up, shifting Yuuki around awkwardly as to not wake her up. "Class isn't over-" Mikan's voice was cut off by the bell. "Never mind." She handed Mitsuki the deep-sleeping Yuuki. "Watch over her while I'm gone, 'kay?"

Mitsuki simply nodded, and Mikan started towards her senpai's, pausing briefly to look at the unmoving class. "Honestly, I'm not some sort of magic barrier, move you pathetic people!"

Tsubasa and Misaki looked taken aback by her harsh tone but some of her classmates finally started moving.

"Mikan," Utau called, "Kuonji was going to pick you up."

She motioned Jamie over then answered Utau, "Well," she drawled lazily, "Tell him to shut it and I'll come when I want to. And by that I mean when I'm done with these two." She motioned to Misaki and Tsubasa. "Like I'd ever actually _want_ to see his face again." She strung her arm through Jamie's quickly. "Well, we must be off, ja ne." she dragged Jamie out of the room before Utau could reply. "I'm gonna get it later."

"Well, you can only blame yourself."

"Shut it, cow."

She turned and came face-to-face with a pair of yellow, catlike eyes, and she instinctively backed up a step.

"Oh," Jamie said, surprised himself, "Damien. Didn't know you were coming."

Mikan simply glared at him, ignoring the charming, enticing smile he wore. Instead she pinched his ear hard and dragged him into the classroom harshly.

His face showed no pain, though he probably was in it, because she was squeezing his ear so hard she could've pierced it. Again.

There was already plenty of piercings so he could keep his alice under control.

She shoved him in front of Utau, eyes blazing with fury, ignoring the few students that were left. "What the hell is Damien doing here?"

Damien gave her an annoyed look, massaging his ear to make sure she hadn't ripped out his alice-controller. "Don't pretend you didn't miss me, polka-dots." He said with a smirk similar to Natsume's, and the temperature in the room rose slightly.

"I _didn't_ miss you." Mikan retorted in annoyance. "I forgot you existed."

He looked unfazed. "Well, ugly, I thought you'd like to see me again. After all, who _wouldn't_ want to see me again?" he struck an idiotic pose, that, embarrassingly enough, _actually_ did make him look cool.

Though, like Natsume, he always looked cool.

As mentioned, Damien had catlike yellow eyes, and smoky gray hair, and always looked rather uncaring.

"I forgot you existed," Mikan repeated, "I couldn't miss you."

"Damien, why _did_ you come?" Mitsuki interrupted, head tilting to the side.

He raised an eyebrow as though it was obvious and they were stupid for not knowing. "To see Mikan, of course." He leaned down and pressed a chaste kiss on her lips, and the heat rose drastically, especially when she didn't stop him.

Not that she could.

Damien, alice of immobilization.

But she could threaten with her eyes, and she did, sending multiple curses at him, causing him to smirk.

"And look!" He declared, turning to look at what was left of the class-unfortunately just Natsume, Ruka, Hotaru, and her friends from America- "She even let's me kiss her!"

If looks could kill, he would've died millions of horrible deaths.

"Don't flatter yourself, Damien," Jamie sighed, "You immobilized her."

The temperature decreased ever-so slightly, but Natsume's eyes remain locked on Damien, furious.

Mobilized again, Mikan kicked Damien in the shin, backing away from him a step. "Well, that kiss was worth it. Kicking him is something I've been waiting to do." She flicked her hair behind her shoulder and turned to Utau, who looked amused as she watched Damien fall in pain. "Watch over this idiot, will you?"

Damien got to his feet and lunged at her, and Mikan jumped away from him skillfully as he crowed, "Never let your guard down!"

She reached into her pocket and produced a small pocketknife and flicked it open quickly, dodging another one of his attacks.

"Remember who taught who, Mikan!" He spat, kicking a foot out quickly to try and trip her.

Damien had been the strongest alice in America, and had taught Mikan so she could take over the missions by herself. _Had_ been. Mikan had quickly replaced him as the strongest, and they had become friendly rivals, with the occasional… _spat_.

"Student," Mikan hissed as Damien cornered her against a desk, "Becomes _teacher!_" her foot shot out and tripped him, and he slipped to the ground with a curse as Mikan towered over him, smiling wickedly as she immobilized him. "Oh my, look who came out on top. _Again._" She sneered down at him. "You really must learn that you trained me to well."

She allowed him to get up, growing a rose out of her hand with one of her many stolen alices. "Well played," she said, handing him the rose.

He took it, sulking, then shook her hand as a sign of defeat. "But, I'll win again eventually." He leaned forward and kissed her again before striding quickly out of the classroom.

"Well, that was fun," Mikan yawned, turning to Jamie again, who had went to sit and wait for the dual to finish. "But, I believe we were going somewhere?"

Jamie got to his feet, rolling his eyes. "You should really just kick in your nullification any time he comes near you, cause he's going to kiss you every time."

Mikan shrugged. "I let him that last time."

"You _let_ him kiss you?"

"I see no point in fighting back." Mikan shrugged again and walked quickly out of the classroom, seeing Natsume's eyes flash dangerously as he heard her comment.

Tsubasa was looking at her as if she had grown another head and Misaki looked like she would faint – but she wouldn't because that would be out of character.

"Did… something happen when you were gone?" Tsubasa asked shakily after a moment of silence. "I don't know many people that carry knives with them…"

"It's kill or be killed, senpai." She paused, looking past him. "Speaking of killing." Kuonji was coming towards them, fast and furious. He motioned her over, and she excused herself, walking over to him with a smug smile. "Heard about my little battle with Damien already?"

He ignored her jibe. "You weren't permitted to go and talk with your new teachers." He said instead.

"Congrats, I'm defying you!" Mikan snapped, wincing away as his hand whipped past her face, just missing her. "You can't bring me back here then expect me to ignore everyone that used to be important to me."

"I don't want you sharing with them." Kuonji growled, gritting his teeth.

"Then you shouldn't have brought me back here." Mikan replied evenly. His hand swung again, this time successfully hitting her, and she heard one of her senpai's letting out a cry of shock behind her. "You can hit me as much as you want. If you didn't bring me back here you wouldn't have this problem." She challenged, grimacing, ignoring the throbbing that entered her unhealed head.

He scowled at her, but said nothing more and stalked away, and Tsubasa was instantly at her side, questions pouring out of his mouth quickly.

"That's going to leave a mark." She whispered to herself instead of answering any of them. "One moment, if you will." She walked back into Utau's classroom, and her teacher automatically held up an icepack, a bemused expression on her face. "We know each other so well." Mikan sighed, taking it from her quickly. "How is this still frozen?"

"Jamie. How hard is the hit?"

"Just the usual ouch-that's-gonna-leave-a-mark hit. No biggie. Can I have some tissue?"

Utau held out the tissue box, and Mikan grabbed a couple of them before bursting into a painful coughing fit. "Overkill your alices?"

"Perhaps." Mikan coughed before tossing the blood-covered tissue out, ignoring Natsume, who was still there for some reason (Spying.) and his wide-eyes as he probably guessed what had just happened and why Mikan had coughed up blood.

After all, he had had the fourth alice shape too.

_Had_ it.

But lost it and now just had a normal alice, thanks to her.

"So," Mikan started, looking around Tsubasa's room. "This is your room. It's boring." She had let go of her I'm-still-happy façade awhile back, and the trip had been silent. Tsubasa opened his mouth to blurt out questions, and she held up a hand to silence him. "You've already asked me questions; it's my turn."

He sighed, "Okay. What?"

Mikan shrugged. "I don't know…" she paused, then grinned wryly. "Are you and Misaki dating?"

Misaki's face became beet red and Tsubasa coughed and sputtered out random words before finally saying, "N-no… not exactly."

Mikan glared at them. "That's _very_ disappointing." She declared, plopping into a chair.

"We're married!" Misaki blurted out, then covered her mouth quickly.

Mikan fell out of the chair. "Married? You two?" they looked at her, insulted. "Sorry. I had enough trouble believing the dating thing. Marriage is like being smacked in the face." Tsubasa opened his mouth again. "Don't even. I'm still asking questions here." She paused thoughtfully. "Do you guys have a baby? Or child? Or something?"

More blushing and nonsense, before Misaki finally retorted in embarrassment. "We never asked you if _you_ had a kid or got married! I mean, not that you would, but still…"

Mikan flinched slightly, but Misaki was trying to get Tsubasa to breath again so she didn't notice.

"No!" Tsubasa blurted out, finally able to answer/breath. "Can _we_ ask now?"

"No. How about Tono, Nobara, Kaname and Bear, how are they?"

"Tono is still manwhoring but he misses you like hell." Typical. "He lives in Central Town, so we should visit him… Nobara is healthy and in her and going to graduate this year… Kaname is still struggling on, and Bear is still willing him to live. They all missed you, too."

"If they see me, they'll miss me more." Mikan sighed, "Okay, ask away, you'll explode otherwise."

They both blurted out questions at once.

"Okay, one at a time, because I have _no_ idea what either of you just said. Misaki, shoot."

"I want to hear every detail of what has happened to you since your mother's funeral."

"That's not a question…" Mikan grumbled. "But, that's what I'd have to tell you anyway, so here it is." She paused, glancing uncertainly at Jamie, who nodded for her to continue. "Remember, you guys wanted to hear it." She shuffled as they looked at her worriedly. "You can't tell anyone, okay? _No one!_"

They nodded in shock.

"Nothing happened for awhile. Kuonji had me put away in a place called the Labyrinth Mansion. I only got to see uncle, Shiki and Bear. They kept me caught up with my studies and would tell me stories about my parents… nothing really happened until…" she paused and took a deep breath. "The night of the Christmas ball. Shiki got me a TV so I could watch what was happening, and eventually I got presents from my class. Fairytale books. I read some of them then went out onto the porch attached to my room… I guess Shiki felt like he owed me and Natsume, or something… because somehow with his help we met up… do I have to share this part?"

"Every. Detail."

She moaned and buried her head in her knees. "And me and Natsume met up for a little while… can I _please_ skip this?"

"No."

She complained more before she continued. "Well, we talked. I apologized because I didn't have a present for him… and he said my present could be kissing him…" Tsubasa laughed and she glared and blushed. "Shut up! It's not funny!" She cried, glaring as Jamie started snickering too. "Anyway, I'm going to put it simply, because it's already embarrassing enough – thank you _so_ much. I kissed him and we traded alice-stones so we're engaged… uh, that's pretty much the simple way of putting it…"

Harder laughing and something that sounded like, "That little sneaky bastard."

"Shut up!" Mikan insisted. "We were in the moment! Ugh."

"Ignore him," Misaki sighed, sounding rather ashamed. "Please, continue. I'm sure that didn't change you."

"So you're acknowledging my changes. Good, I have changed. The Mikan I was is dead now, remember that."

Tsubasa's laughter cut short, and Misaki looked away awkwardly.

"Kuonji found out. Rather, he has people watching me, and when Natsume and I met up, I 'left', in a way. And that broke our deal." She paused, "we had a small deal-y thing. A rule was I wasn't allowed to leave and I did, so he got control over me.

"We left the next day… he told me we were going to America, but I got lost, and for some reason we were still in Japan… near my grandpa's house…" her voice cut out. "Maybe I shouldn't continue."

Jamie handed her a bracelet. "Alice controller. I figured you wouldn't be able to continue talking, so show them the illusion."

She shook her head. "I don't… the illusion…" she breathed deeply. "It's worse than hearing it… I can't put them through that horror."

"And you can't talk about it. Show them." He insisted, strapping the bracelet on her arm.

She looked back at her senpai's, both looking almost scared. "You wanted this." She hissed, creating an illusion so familiar it sent chills up her spine. "Remember that I warned you."

"_Hey, little girl, are you lost?_" Mikan whispered the same time her memory did, and Tsubasa looked at her worriedly. "_Are you lost? Hey, little girl, what's your name?_"

"_I'm not supposed to talk to strangers anymore._"

"_Well, tell me your name, and then we won't be strangers. Are you alone? Why can't you tell me, little girl?_"

She shrieked, clamping her hands over her ears and burying her face in Jamie's legs.

"_Don't touch me!_"

She blocked out the rest, allowing only Tsubasa, Misaki and Jamie to hear it, only lifting her head when Jamie shook her shoulder. "Is it over?" she asked, raising her head slightly.

"Yes, now sit up."

She buried her head again, letting out a muffled, "No. I am shamed, so I will hide."

Jamie sighed and pushed her into a sitting position, ignoring her mumbled insults.

She huffed then turned to look at a sick looking Tsubasa and pale Misaki. "You wanted to know."

Misaki burst into tears and hugged Mikan tight. "I'm so sorry! I understand why you've changed!"

Mikan backed away from her lightly. "That's not even the worst of it. That was by far the easiest of the things I've heard and seen in my nightmares."

A look of terror past over their faces.

"If you guys think you're brave enough to handle what even I can't, I will tell you what happened."

They looked at each other unsurely then Tsubasa answered her quietly, "If you think you can, tell us…"

Mikan took a deep breath, "I think I can at least try."

* * *

><p><strong>And, that is that.<strong>

**But I won't be posting this chapter alone, the next one will be posted at the same time, so click the next chapter button!**

**Songs:**

**Back to December, Taylor Swift**

**What have you Done, Within Temptation**

**Blue Eyes. Within Temptation**

**Bittersweet, Within Temptation**

**Review, if you will. Remember my hobo statement.**


	12. Keeping Secrets

"_Well, well, well. If it isn't my little runaway."_

_Mikan looked up blearily, eyes focusing awkwardly on Kuonji._

"_This is what you get when you run." He paused, an almost concerned look flashing across his face. "What happened?" he turned to one of his workers. "Go get some clothes. Now!"_

_She didn't reply; she couldn't find her voice._

"_Mikan," Mikan froze. Never had he said her name with actual concern. "Tell me what happened."_

_She burst into tears and quickly explained what had happened, pulling on clothes that had arrived. She rubbed at her eyes. "Why did you bring me so close to my grandpa's house?"_

_The hard look came back to his eyes almost instantly. "Punishment of course."_

'Punishment?_' and here she had thought for once he was being nice. "What does my grandfather have to do with my punishment…?"_

"_You'll see." He started walking quickly in the direction she had used to live and she scrambled clumsily after him._

"_Please don't do anything to Grandpa…" she whispered quietly, sending a pleading look at him._

_He looked hesitant, but continued to her old house, hurrying ahead of her._

"_Please," Mikan persisted, stumbling to keep up with him._

"_Shut up." He hissed as he approached the familiar door. He knocked twice then waited for it to be answered._

_It slid open quickly, and Mikan stared at her grandfather with shocked eyes._

"_Mikan! What are you doing here?" he exclaimed, eyes widening with shock._

"_Grandpa!" She lunged towards him and Kuonji pulled her back roughly. _

"_You're not here to enjoy yourself." He snapped, and his two helpers pushed her grandfather back into the house roughly._

_Mikan let out a cry as he tumbled to the floor, and Kuonji pushed her in after him, slamming the door behind them. "You disobeyed."_

"_Please don't hurt him!" all of his compassion was gone. "I'll do anything!"_

_One of the people held a knife threateningly close to her grandfather's throat, and Mikan shrieked._

"_This is what will happen if you try anything."_

"_No! Let him go! Please!"_

_He was silent for a moment. "Will you listen, no matter what?"_

"_I will! Stop it! STOP IT!" she struggled violently for Kuonji's other thug to let her go._

"_This could very well end up being one of your friends."_

_Absolute horror raced though her, and she forced her voice out, "I understand! Please, just let him go!"_

"_You're powerless." He continued, eyes flicking briefly to her grandfather, who looked as horrified as she felt._

"_I know!" Mikan cried, stopping struggling. "I'll listen_, just let him go!_"_

_He smirked triumphantly. "Very well." He turned away from her to the one of the men. "Finish him."_

"_No! No! Let him go!"_

"_Mikan, run whi-" her grandfather's voice cut out into a cry of pain, and Mikan's scream echoed through the house._

"_NO! NO!" The thug's hand slid away and she collapsed to the ground beside the man that was slipping away from her to quickly. "NO! Please, get up! NO! NO! NO!"_

Mikan cut out her memories after her last scream, turning away from the wall she had projected it on to her senpai's.

"I _never _thought I could go through pain equal, or more, than that." She paused as they gave her horrified, disgusted, sick looks. "I was _so_ wrong."

"Worse… than _that?_" Misaki questioned, paling.

"Worse than that." Mikan repeated. "Because that was more painful than you can ever imagine, the next thing I'm about to tell you was like dying thousands of times over." Jamie squeezed her hand reassuringly. "I thought that would be the end, and I could at least _try_ and live.

"But I changed horribly after that. I never smiled or laughed, every second I was plagued by my grandpa's face as he screamed in pain, and I couldn't even bring myself to make friends, because Kuonji's words haunted me, '_This could be one of your friends._' I couldn't bring myself to open up in fear of seeing something else like that.

"So I let the darkness take over me," Mikan sighed wistfully, "Kuonji did, no, _does_ regret that. He regrets everything he's done." She paused in annoyance. "So he let me do what I wanted a lot of the time. When I demanded he shut down the Dangerous Abilities class, he did, and I took over the missions as payment." She paused again as they recoiled in shock. "Some of my missions were in Japan. And I went against rules and I came here… I couldn't stay away from here when I was so close; I think Kuonji just ignored that I came here.

"But I didn't come here without purpose; I wanted to see Natsume. Not for any romantic reasons – I didn't even let him see me, it was the middle of the night and he was asleep. I snuck into his room. I had learned some things and had some unique alice's, see. And one of them was being able to change alice shapes. Swap, rather. I'm sure you see where I'm going with this. I switched our alice shapes.

"I didn't have anything to live for, so it didn't matter. But I thought that too soon. Because I _did_ have something worth living for. But it didn't occur to me as possible, and I didn't even think of it." She glanced unsurely at Jamie, who nodded for her to continue.

"I was pregnant."

* * *

><p><strong>Oh yes, I have totally ruined Mikan, haven't I? Well, continue on to the next chapter.<strong>


	13. I Don't Wanna Dance

Silence.

"Two months after I switched me and Natsume's alice shapes, three months after the murderer, I found out. My whole world changed; I saw a little hope, and I finally allowed myself to find friends.

"Jamie and Jade were the first. We just ran into each other and I actually started talking to them, and we started hanging out a little. Jade introduced me to Arden, who introduced me to Mitsuki and Claire. Damien was my partner, so he was always there anyway, but I actually talked to him on occasion then.

"Months past quickly. No one noticed I had put on weight, because I had made an illusion around myself to make myself look thin. And finally, my babies, twins, Yuuki and Kaori were born. I was unbelievably happy, though felt a little guilty about my happiness because of grandpa… but I had something that mattered, something I could care for and could keep me from ending myself.

"But Kuonji… well, he was always there, wasn't he? And I kept breaking rules. And there was only one punishment that was fit for keeping me from breaking to many rules: take away Kaori." Her voice cut off and she burst into hysterical tears, but kept talking through them. "So he took me and Kaori with him, and trapped me again. Gagged and tied, I had to watch as he got someone to torture Kaori, my beautiful six-month old who was so smart…" she breathed deeply and struggled to continue as tears burned down her cheeks. "He killed her… he killed one of my few joys. The one that mattered more than _anything_." her voice died as she broke into sobs, and she forced her voice out. "I had to _watch_ him kill her as she screamed for me to help her, cried for mercy and begged to see her sister and for the bright light to leave…!

"Through all of that, me and Jamie became closer than close, and Mitsuki became my best friend. They both know almost everything about me. Utau was a hired singing coach and therapist, because I was so troubled, and singing was, is, my sanctuary. Yuuki keeps growing, but remembers Kaori even though she was so young at the time. Damien and me were friendly rivals for the top spot in everything, and I always won. Arden, Jade and Claire are my closest friends that I fear of having, but keep because I can't handle being alone." She shuddered violently and buried her face in her hands. "I've tried an unbelievable amount of times to kill myself or be sent to get better help, but Kuonji won't let me do anything, and Jamie needs me along with Yuuki…

"So, you heard what you wanted, now what? You want to comfort me, hurt Kuonji, want to get me the help I need. But you can't do anything, can you?"

There was silence again, and she got up to leave.

"Wait!" Tsubasa finally blurted, trembling and wiping away the horrified tears that had formed. Misaki stared at her, stupefied.

She sat back down hesitantly, eyes locked on the ground.

"I…" his voice trailed off as he digested all that she had told them. "That… happened to you?"

"No, Tsubasa-senpai, I made that all up on the spot!" Mikan spat angrily, "Of course it happened! I'm not so horrible that I could make up a story like that!"

"That's not what I meant…" his voice trailed away again. "Just… that… you didn't deserve any of that…" he ran a hand through his hair, frustrated.

"No," Mikan agreed, "I don't think I did." She turned to Misaki. "So you heard what you wanted to, happy?"

She shook her head silently, shaking as she held back sobs.

"I don't mean to be harsh…" Mikan whispered, ashamed. "I have to be harsh. I'm scared to be friendly."

Misaki broke, and Tsubasa's arm wrapped around her.

"I'll leave," Mikan offered, standing again. "You guys should think about this for awhile. I have to go back to the music-room and face the devil."

They didn't object, just nodded blankly, and she left quickly, Jamie behind her.

"Well, that was fun." Mikan stated sarcastically, shutting the door behind her and turning in the direction that would lead her back to the building that held the music room.

"Yes, great fun." Jamie replied, equally sarcastic. "You did good though."

"Getting through it is impressive." Mikan grabbed his hand. "I'm teleporting. You'll just trip and slow us down."

"You shouldn't over-"

With a flash of light they were in front of the music room.

"-use your alice's." he finished lamely.

"Well," Mikan drawled, waltzing into the classroom. "I don't care very much, as you've heard." But she went over to Utau's desk again and grabbed some tissues to cough into. She turned to look at Utau, who was still there, marking papers. "So, do I look horrifying?" She asked, flashing a smile that revealed her blood-covered teeth.

"Yes." She replied, looking slightly disturbed. "That was quick."

"Quick and painful!" Mikan proclaimed, turning quickly to Jamie. "Water, dog. If my blood-soaked mouth disturbs Utau, then it must be cleaned."

A fountain of water appeared, aiming directly at her face. She moved quickly, sending him a glare, then drank some, flashing another toothy smile. "So? Better?"

"Well, if you smile at little children they won't scream in terror and run." Jamie deadpanned.

"What an improvement!"

"Why are so relaxed?" Jamie demanded, looking annoyed. "You just told them your story!"

"Yes, and what a relief it is to have shared!" she span in a circle. "Let's dance!"

He rolled his eyes and pointed to his injured foot.

"Oh. Right then." She frowned then looked over the classroom. "Natsume, why on _earth_ are you still here?" she continued without his answer, "Whatever! Let us dance!"

He looked at her like she was insane and shook his head.

"Well then who am I going to dance with while I wait for Kuonji?" she whined, glancing around the empty classroom.

"You could always dance with me, love." Mikan turned quickly towards the window where Damien was half-hanging out.

"Damien, what the hell are you doing?"

"Spying."

"Well, get your butt in here and dance with me, _second_ best!" Mikan demanded, pulling him into the classroom forcefully.

He frowned at her choice of a nickname. "Grinding?" he asked with a seductive wink.

"Uh, no. We're tangoing, bitch."

She forced him into the correct position then took two steps forward with him.

Two steps back.

Three steps forward.

Mikan flicked on music with her alice.

_Take me home  
>You, you hit me with a break<br>And now you're back for more  
>Your song's the same<br>Leave me with all the blame  
>I don't have time for another game<em>

Two steps back.

Three steps forward.

Step, step, step, twist, twirl.

Familiar movement.

"Jamie's a better dancer than you." Mikan insulted, though she was lying.

He rolled his eyes at her jibe. "So you've told me. But you are _my_ partner, thus we dance together."

"I live here now. _Natsume's_ my partner." She corrected, sparing a quick glance in his direction.

Perched on his seat, glaring daggers as Mikan danced with Damien, was Natsume.

"I'm going to stop dancing with you." He threatened.

"Okay," she twisted away from him, "I'll sing!"

"_I don't wanna dance  
>So don't you ask me, babe<br>I don't wanna dance  
>You blew your chance<br>To rock my night away  
>I want some fun<br>But you're so not the one  
>I don't wanna dance<br>So let it go  
>You'll never take me home<br>Take me home  
>Take me home<em>,  
><em>Talk to me without a sound<br>'Cause you were such a tool  
>Who's sorry now?<br>You, you're shaking on the floor  
>Watch me walking out the door,<em>"

She stuck her tongue out tauntingly and he scowled in annoyance. '_Perfect choice, Mikan, perfect choice!_' she congratulated herself on her choice of song.

Jamie smirked in satisfaction at Damien's rejection, and Natsume, though hiding it well, looked slightly smug, too.

"_I don't wanna dance  
>So don't you ask me, babe<br>I don't wanna dance  
>You blew your chance<br>To rock my night away  
>I want some fun<br>But you're so not the one  
>I don't wanna dance<br>So let it go  
>You'll never take me home<br>Take me home  
>Take me home<em>,  
><em>Don't tell the DJ to hit rewind<br>Tonight, there's no you and me  
>Don't play that record<br>Don't waste your time,_"

Mitsuki walked into the room, carrying Yuuki, smiling as she saw Mikan, and was followed by Kuonji, who looked at her uncaringly.

"_You, you threw it all away  
>I don't wanna dance<br>So don't you ask me, babe  
>I don't wanna dance<br>You blew your chance  
>To rock my night away<br>I want some fun  
>But you're so not the one<br>I don't wanna dance  
>So let it go<br>You'll never take me home  
>Take me home<br>Take me home  
>Take me home<br>Take me home,_"

She finished with a small bow to no one then turned to Mitsuki and Yuuki.

"Mommy's a good singer!" Yuuki exclaimed, earning a shocked look from Natsume who was the only one in the room who didn't know that Yuuki was Mikan's.

"Yes she is!" Mitsuki agreed enthusiastically, setting her on the floor and smiling as she ran over to Mikan.

"Yes, flatter me as much as you want." Mikan crowed, scooping Yuuki into her arms. "One day, you might find you're a good singer too! Maybe you inherited my talent."

"Is Kaori a good singer?"

Mikan paused, eyes clouding over with grief. "Yes, Kaori is a fantastic singer."

"Will she sing with me?"

"Not any time soon, dear one." She kissed the top of her head.

"Tick-tock, time to go." Kuonji snapped impatiently.

"Yes, yes. Where are Mitsuki, Arden and Claire sleeping? And Damien and Yuuki?"

"Mitsuki and Claire are bunking with Jade, Arden is taking your former room, and Damien and Yuuki will be sleeping with you."

Damien smirked widely.

"Uh, no, thank you."

"In a different room, idiot."

"Well, that's safer."

"Let's go." He insisted impatiently.

"Can I ask Mikan a question? _Privately._" Natsume asked suddenly, eyes narrowing to suspicious slits.

Kuonji glowered at him furiously, but left the room with everyone else, excluding Yuuki.

"I think I know what's coming." Mikan started, glancing at her daughter.

"I want you to tell me who Yuuki and Kaori are. Now."

"That wasn't a question…" Mikan grumbled. "They are -were- twins." She paused, eyes going to Yuuki, who was spinning in Utau's seat. "Kaori died when she was six months old, and Yuuki still remembers her."

"They were named after our parents, weren't they?" he looked almost hurt. "Yuuki's mother is _you_, isn't it?"

Mikan smiled. "I liked the names I picked out. Our mothers were good people."

"So you _are_ a mother?" Natsume repeated, looking down.

"Mommy there's a butterfly outside!"

"Yes, Yuuki is my daughter." Mikan confirmed, picking Yuuki up again. "Now," She held Yuuki towards him. "Give her a hug."

He looked at her, eyes filled with pain.

"Give her a hug." Mikan insisted. "For her whole life, I've pretended she's _your_ daughter. Now hug her."

He backed away with a shake of his head, and Mikan set her down again. "Mikan, I can't believe you still love me if you let another guy kiss you."

"Damien?" She laughed. "He was my partner in America and just likes to steal kisses from me because he thinks it matters a lot and he's getting revenge for me beating him at everything."

"So you just _let_ him kiss you?"

"I should've known that this would come back and bite me…" She sighed in annoyance. "Look, Damien is just an annoying rival. Plus he's got his eye on a girl named Ann back in America. His jealousy trick just sucks."

"I don't think I can trust you."

"That's okay, I wouldn't trust me either."

"It's _not_ okay!" he snapped unsurely. "I should still trust you like I used too!"

"Well, if you don't, you don't." Mikan shrugged. "Trust me, the best thing to do at this point is forget I existed. I can't make you happy."

"_Why_? What happened?"

"You sure are one persistent person, you know that?" she paused, eyes narrowing. "If you really want to know, maybe Tsubasa-senpai or Misaki-senpai will tell you. But they swore to tell no one, so I wouldn't bother."

"_Tell me!_" he spat, patience gone.

"They couldn't handle what happened to me, and you love me more than both of them. _You can't handle my past._"

"Let me _try!_"

"Begging doesn't flatter you." Mikan coughed, covering her mouth with her hand to catch the blood.

"And you're coughing blood!"

"Why yes, I _am_."

"Do you have the fourth alice shape?"

"Yup." Mikan said, popping the P.

"Does that have something to do with why I _don't_ anymore?"

"It might."

"_Answer me properly!_"

"Okay. Yes, I let Damien kiss me. It doesn't mean shit, and he usually has to immobilize me to plant one on me. What happened to me changed and scarred me for life, and I've already had to relive it today, and don't plan to again! Yes, I have the fourth alice-shape, and _yes_ I transferred it from you to me!" She stepped away from him and grabbed Yuuki's hand. "Enjoy while you can not knowing what happened to me because _no one_ could get over it. _Ever!_" she turned to bolt out of the room but Natsume grabbed her arm and pulled her back, pinning her against a desk. "M-move…"

He leaned down so his head was on her shoulder. "_Please_, Mikan. Tell me."

"You're really good at making this hard…" Mikan choked out.

He didn't reply.

"Look," she breathed, frozen to the spot. "I want to tell you. _I do._ But… I _can't!_ Maybe you think you can handle it, but I can barely even handle talking about it! Just… just _please_ leave it, if just for the rest of today."

He did nothing for a moment, then sighed, leaning back so their foreheads were touching. "Fine… for now. But I don't want that guy kissing you anymore…"

"I can't promise anything; the immobilization alice, you know. He's a _very_ strong opponent. But I will do my best," she added at his disapproving look. "Oh, and don't bring it up with Tsubasa or Misaki. They probably never want to speak of it again."

The door opened quickly and Natsume pulled away from her. "Am I interrupting?" Kuonji asked emotionlessly, "Well it's time for us to go. Mikan has some unpacking to do in her new room. Or _old_ room, as it may."

Mikan winced and rushed towards him with Yuuki at her heels. "_Au revoir pour maintenant,_ Natsume." Mikan waved over her shoulder and hurried Yuuki up and out of the room. "So… which way is the Labyrinth Mansion anyway?" she asked conversationally, jogging to keep up with his pace.

He sighed and rolled his eyes, "Just follow me."

"M'kay."

"Mommy, where are we going?" Yuuki asked, stretching her arms up to be picked up.

"Your daughter is always being carried; let her walk by herself." Kuonji snapped.

"Her _daughter_?" A voice demanded behind them, and Mikan turned quickly, glaring at Hotaru and Ruka, who was glancing around nervously.

"I thought I heard someone following us. I presumed it was Natsume again, though." Mikan mused. "Is there something you need?"

"Is that child your daughter?"

"Yes."

The look of disturbance on Hotaru's face was priceless; Ruka's face was more so. "How?"

"Well, you see, babies usually come from having unprotected sex and-"

"_You_ had unprotected sex?" Hotaru blurted out, looking even more mortified.

"No, I had… unprotected rape." Mikan corrected, uncaring about sharing her past.

"_What?_" Hotaru shrieked, and Ruka looked on the verge of fainting or crying.

"Yes, spread the rumor, you can make millions!" Mikan whooped, then turned to Kuonji, who was looking at her like she had lost her mind. "I grow tired of this talk." She waved her hand dismissively. "Lead me to my room, maestro!" she paused, waiting for Kuonji to move. "Holy shit I wonder if I magically became drunk…"

"It sure seems like it." Jamie deadpanned, wrapping an arm around her and covering her mouth. "You're setting a horrible example for the audience."

"What audience? Are we being filmed? Hell yeah, what show?"

"My God, what kind of drugs are you on?" Mitsuki asked with concern.

"The drug of giving up! I'm tired…"

"Will someone tell us what's going on?" Ruka snapped finally.

"Mikan is just losing her sanity. Normal behavior, ignore it. It happens every day or two."

"Nooo it doesn't!"

"Yeees it does." Jamie jerked her away from them. "Now, Kuonji, I leave her in your incapable hands. Please do not kill her." He shoved Mikan towards Kuonji, and she quickly bent to pick up Yuuki.

"Maestro, that is your cue!" she yelled at Kuonji, who looked at her oddly then led her away.

* * *

><p><strong>HUGE UPDATE WEEEE. <strong>

**Crazy over.**

**Song: Don't wanna Dance, Hey Monday.**


	14. Don't Walk Away

"…Did _anyone_ come in here while I was gone?" Mikan questioned as she entered her new and old room.

Covered in dust, everything was exactly where it was when she left. Fairytales littered the floor, her bed was unmade, a piece of clothing or two splayed on the floor in her mad dash to pack some things before she left and pictures of her friends and family on her bedside table.

"No. You can sort it to your liking and go and buy things in Central Town tomorrow."

"Sometimes I think you spoil me." Mikan hummed. He glared at her. "You know what's weird?" he said nothing. "I can't bring myself to completely hate you."

He looked at her with a mixture of confusion and annoyance.

"And I really should hate you for what you've done." She continued, ignoring his silence. "But for some reason, I keep thinking you probably are a good person deep down."

With those words, he left the room quickly, tossing a few last words over his shoulder, "If someone doesn't let you buy something, tell them who you are. Try not to waste all of the money you have."

She watched after him in amusement then turned to Yuuki. "Okay, Yuuki, you get to sleep in the room across from mine, right?" Yuuki nodded with wide eyes. "And Damien is sleeping down the hall. If you need something come to one of us. Preferably me. But if I'm gone, go to him."

"You're going to leave me?" Yuuki wailed, clinging to her.

"Shh, I won't leave you. I'll always come back to you – remember that."

She sniffled and nodded.

"Tonight you will sleep in here with me, though." Mikan went on, "Tomorrow we'll get you some bed sheets and necessities."

Mikan took her over to the bed and shook out the dusty sheets, and Yuuki sneezed loudly then giggled at herself. Mikan put her into the bed quickly, glancing at the clock. "It's eight thirty-"

"Early!"

"-But you're going to bed now. I will join you shortly." She dropped a pillow on her head before she could complain and started cleaning up the mess that had been left, holding up the clothes that were now far to small and tossing them into a pile in the corner of the room.

"Hello, Sakura," Damien greeted, inviting himself into her room.

"Greetings, Demon." Sakura was her name when they were on missions so no one would no her real name; Demon was his.

"I need your help."

"Forget it."

"Now, now, no need to be snippy. It's easy." He walked to her patio door and opened it quickly. "I just need you to help me get out of here."

"Why? Got a date already?"

"Jealous?" he asked and she rolled her eyes. "No, I just need to get out of here. So, can you help?"

"Meow."

"…What?"

"You heard me. I meowed. Do you mind it?"

"…Not if… You don't?" he paused and shook his head. "…Should I be concerned?"

"No. Here, I'll levitate you down to the ground." She replied, walking out on the patio to join him, and levitating him into the air.

"Easy now, I don't need to die."

"Yes, yes, so you say." Mikan repeated Mitsuki's saying. She lowered him down quickly, then called down to him, "How are you going to get back up?"

"I'll find a way. Or just tell Kuonji I left early; it's the weekend now, and I tend to head out early, unlike most."

"Alright. G'night, idiot."

"See ya!" Damien called, rushing away.

She stared after him, considering escaping for a while, but turned back around toward Yuuki and decided against it, instead going back to cleaning.

* * *

><p>"Mommy, mommy, wake up!" Yuuki's inconsistent chatter woke her up the next morning. "Where are we?"<p>

Mikan sighed and sat up. "We're at our new home, Yuuki."

A look of confusion past over her face before dawning in realization as she remembered the previous day.

"Today is a new day!" Mikan whooped, leaping to her feet. "A day of _shopping!_"

Yuuki moaned in distaste.

"Oh, shush. You get new toys and clothes and sparkly things."

"Like Edward Cullen?" Yuuki cried, eyes wide with terror. "I don't want no stalker!"

Mikan burst into laughter and ruffled her hair. "Don't worry. I meant like, artsy shit. I mean stuff."

"Yes, yes, so you say." Yuuki said, and Mikan smacked her forehead.

"We created a monster." She turned to one of her suitcases and picked some clothes out. "Go pick out some clothes for today." She ordered Yuuki as she slipped on a sky blue crop-top and a pair of jeans.

Yuuki obeyed, picking out a small sundress, and Mikan helped her into it and picked up a matching hat to stick on her head. "Meow!" Yuuki declared.

"Monster…" Mikan repeated, pulling on a pair of sneakers and tossing Yuuki a heavy jacket. "You are _not_ going out there without a jacket, missy. There's snow on the ground still!"

"You're wearing a belly-shirt!"

"But I'm older, and older people get to do what they want." She grinned and Yuuki glowered at her. "Now, come, we have to catch a bus."

She pulled her complaining daughter out of her room and took off down the hall, pausing momentarily to see if Damien had found a way back in. His room was empty, so she assumed not, and continued down the hall. "Anyway, first I want to stop and tell Jamie I made it through the night. And I wanted to stop at the special-abilities classroom to see if I could talk to Tsubasa-senpai quickly… But then we'll go shopping."

"Don't like shopping!"

Mikan huffed in annoyance, "I'll buy you candy. Howalon! I'll buy you howalon." She picked up the still complaining Yuuki. "I'm transporting us to the front of the special stars rooms."

"Yay!" Yuuki cheered.

"You're so lazy…" Mikan grumbled, flashing them to her destination, and walking in quickly. She whacked her head on Jamie's door to knock instead of the normal fist rapping. "You awake, moron?"

"I wasn't…" came the tired reply.

"Well, get up. I will be camping out here, waiting." She sat beside the door, motioning Yuuki next to her.

"You suuuck…" Jamie groaned from the other side of the door. "I'm going to take a long time on purpose."

"You do that."

"Be quiet or face the consequences." Hotaru's disorientated voice called from across the hall.

She caught Natsume exiting his room, an annoyed expression on his face.

"Sorry if I woke you up." Mikan apologized with an impish grin.

"Ruka told me you went insane yesterday." He stated, striding over to her. His eyes trailed over her shirt. "You shouldn't wear such revealing clothes…"

"Insane? Well, I guess I lost my mind for a few moments… and my clothes are fine."

"He said you said you got raped." He sat next to her and Yuuki.

"Yup." Mikan said, popping the P. A thump came from Jamie's room and they both turned to it. "Did you fall?" Mikan asked, suppressing a laugh.

"…No…?"

"You're an idiot."

"No, I'm half-asleep, thank you very much. Why did you wake me up anyway?"

"Me and Yuuki are going shopping and we need a bag holder."

"…I'm going back to sleep."

"Fine, I just wanted to say that I'm still alive. Good night."

Incoherent words replied, another thump and a curse.

Mikan stood up. "Well, I'm off."

Natsume stood too. "I'll join you." He offered quickly, eyes once again flitting unhappily over her shirt.

"Ah, I'm going to talk to Tsubasa-senpai…" she said, scratching the back of her head awkwardly. "I guess you could join me later in Central Town…" she added uncertainly, "I'll be taking the bus there at eleven thirty…"

He didn't answer, instead sauntered out the entrance, and Mikan shrugged.

"Well, we're off to see Tsubasa-senpai now, Yuuki." She grabbed her hand and teleported to the special-abilities classroom, where she hoped Tsubasa was working on something.

She sighed in relief when she spotted him at his desk. "Tsubasa-senpai." She greeted walking into the classroom with Yuuki.

He looked up with shocked eyes as he caught sight of her. "Ah, Mikan…" he paused awkwardly. "What do you need?"

She sat down on one of the desks and Yuuki ran to look out the window. "First, I wanted to apologize, I was kind of harsh yesterday… how's Misaki?"

"A little shaken up." He admitted, frowning. "So am I…"

Mikan shrugged. "Understandable. Anyway, onto business." Tsubasa quirked an amused eyebrow. "I'm going to Central Town later, and I thought I could stop and see Tono-senpai. Where does he live?"

"Actually, I was planning on going down to talk to him this afternoon. How about you join me?" Tsubasa offered with a small smile.

"Sure. Where and when?"

"How about you meet me by the howalon store at one, hm?"

"Cool," Mikan said, getting to her feet and grabbing Yuuki. "See you later, Tsubasa-senpai." She strode quickly to the door, and said to Yuuki, "Now we're going to check in with Uncle Kazu."

Yuuki nodded and braced herself for the teleportation.

"Ta-dah!" Mikan declared as they appeared in front of his office, then opened the door quickly and pulled Yuuki in after her.

Her uncle looked up quickly, a smile adorning his face as he spotted her. "Mikan! I heard you were out of the hospital."

"Yes, uncle. I just wanted to tell you." Her gaze flicked to Narumi, who was seated beside her uncle. "Good morning, Narumi-sensei."

"Girly-man!" Yuuki shrieked and Mikan whacked her upside the head.

"I apologize, Yuuki is… young." Mikan said dryly, glaring at Yuuki.

"It's okay, Mikan-chan." Narumi said, waving it off. "You had a similar reaction."

Mikan coughed in embarrassment and Yuuki stuck her tongue out at her. "Well, that's all really…"

Kazu held up a hand as she started to leave, and she paused. "Mikan, yesterday Hotaru came to me and told me… something I wasn't aware of." He paused awkwardly, "Mikan… were you raped?"

Narumi's face twisted in shock and horror, and Mikan covered Yuuki's ears. "I should've known she would come and share. How much did you pay?"

"Mikan, she told me because she was worried. I didn't pay anything." He shook his head in disappointment. "That little girl, Yuuki, she's your daughter, right?"

Narumi looked horrified out of his mind as Mikan replied quietly, "Yes." A small flash of pity rose in his eyes. "Don't pity me; I'm happy I was." Horror and confusion. "Because now I have someone to love." She left quickly, sending a few more words over her shoulder, "I don't care to talk about my past; leave it hidden in the shadows."

She glanced at her watch, filling with relief as she realized that the bus would be leaving in five minutes, and quickly teleported to the bus stop.

"Onee-chan, why are you sad?" Yuuki asked, using sister instead of mother so no one could go and spread horrible rumors.

She smiled down at her. "I'm just a little worn out…" she glanced around for Natsume, blinking in disappointment when she realized he wasn't there, but shrugging it off as the bus approached.

Mikan looked around in boredom, eyes locking onto the howalon shop, and she made a mental note to remember where it was so she could meet up with Tsubasa.

Then her eyes caught sight of Damien, lounging under a tree, and she tugged Yuuki over to him.

His yellow eyes were closed tightly, and Mikan smirked as an idea came into her mind. She started forming a ball of water over his head, smiling as she imagined dropping it on him.

"Don't even think about it." He said suddenly, eyes opening quickly.

She grinned, the water ball flying into a nearby bush. "Busted?"

He nodded, and she went and sat beside him. "Did you _sleep_ here?" she asked with a laugh.

He sat up and Yuuki plopped beside him. "I may have," he answered, "Don't really have anywhere else to go or be." He grinned slyly. "Unless you're willing to admit you missed me?" he leaned over to kiss her and she dodged.

"Ah, no." she explained at his weird look, "No more kissing me of your own free will. It's bothersome."

"Doesn't that give me more reason to do it?" He frowned. "You were never really sensitive about it before…"

"It's either stop or be beaten up." She paused, blinked, and looked into the tree. "Right, Natsume?"

Crimson eyes looked down at her, and Natsume hopped out of the tree. "How'd you know I was there?"

"I'm gifted." He rolled his eyes. "So, you here to join me on my journey of buying shi- stuff." He shrugged uncaringly, and Mikan turned to Damien. "What about you, Demon, you want to spend some of Kuonji's money?"

He got to his feet. "Always!" he linked arms with her and started dragging her into the crowds of people. "Last night I came across a place that sells good food. We should eat there." He paused, eyes flicking behind him to Natsume, who was following in annoyance, then to her shirt. "Nice shirt, by the way."

Natsume rolled his eyes and sent her a look.

She stuck her tongue out at him and allowed Damien to keep dragging her who-knows-where. "I'm not hungry; I need to get some stuff for me and Yuuki's rooms."

He rolled his eyes. "Like _what_? You don't need anything."

"I could use some new clothes, some reading material, and random stuff to annoy Jamie with."

He looked thoughtful for a moment. "That last one's a pretty good reason." He admitted at last, and Mikan pulled out of his grip and turned into a bookstore, instantly turning into the manga section. "Wow, they have _nothing._" Mikan grumbled to Damien, who scoffed.

"Are you kidding? There's like, a million things here!"

"Yes, but I _have_ all of them back in America; they should be arriving here soon." She moved into the young adult isle. "Read it, read it, read it, sounds boring, is the Twilight series _really_ considered a young adult novel series?"

"I heard it has a sex scene or something. I dunno."

"Well, gross. Vampires can't have sex – they're dead."

"Tell that to the author."

"Can we leave?" Natsume interrupted in boredom.

"We just got here." Mikan pointed out, scanning the shelves. "But yeah, lets leave." She added.

"I'm gonna stay here for awhile." Damien stated, eyeing a female worker. "Meet me later at the dance club."

"Central Town has a _club?_" Mikan asked in shock.

"Yup. Meet me there later its east of here. It's flashy, so you can't miss it." He waved as they left then turned to the worker.

Mikan turned away with an eye roll and went back out into the busy sidewalks, glancing around for a place to go, tugging Yuuki to her side so she didn't get lost. She looked at Natsume out of the corner of her eye. "So, where should we go?"

He shrugged. "You're the one who needs things, polka."

She ignored the nickname and scanned the area. "Well, I mostly need some things for Yuuki; bed sheets, clothes, etc., know any good places? Preferably expensive. As mentioned, this is Kuonji's money, and I do enjoy torturing him on occasion."

"There's only one that sells bed sheets," he pointed in the direction it was. "It's called Little Shop of Sheets. It's really stupid."

"Little Shop of _Sheets_?" Mikan asked with a grin. "Some sort of name rip off of 'Little Shop of Horrors?'" he nodded and she laughed. "That's so lame! The least it could be is a plant store." She started quickly in the direction he had pointed then turned around to glare at him as he walked slowly. "Be quicker!" She commanded, then grabbed his hand and pulled him at a quicker pace.

"I didn't even agree to come with you." He stated with faux boredom, his eyes fixed on their entwined fingers.

"Okay then," Mikan said, taking her hand away from his and placing it on her hip, "Leave." She challenged. He glared at her but didn't move so she grinned triumphantly, tugging him along again. "Didn't think so."

Silence engulfed them as they continued down the path, and Mikan blinked thoughtfully. "Hey, how's Youichi?" she asked blankly, "He must be seven now, right?"

"Eight." Natsume corrected. "He's fine."

"Did he miss me?" Mikan continued persistently. "He kissed me on the cheek once; that was embarrassing. Mind you Ruka kissed my other cheek right after that… and then you kissed me after that…" She trailed off awkwardly.

Natsume smirked. "Yeah, he missed you. He stopped bringing you up after two years though, like he knew you wouldn't just magically appear."

"Ah-ha! But I did. Where is he?" Natsume shrugged then pointed to a store and Mikan veered into it. "I missed him, you know." She paused and glanced at him. "I mean, I missed like, everyone, but there's always this soft spot in me for the guy."

"Do you have a soft spot for me?" he questioned as Yuuki ran off to look at sheets with Pokemon on them.

"You take up a good chunk of me, Natsume." She stated, blushing lightly. "Mind you, about two thirds of it is wanting to punch you."

"What about the other third?" he asked, smirking as though he already knew the answer.

Mikan paused as her cheeks heated. "The other third?" she thought it over embarrassedly. "Uh… it would probably kiss the living daylights out of you."

"Well, why don't you?" he continued, smirk widening considerably. "I wouldn't mind."

She wondered how much brighter her face could get. "Don't tease my, jerk." She grumbled, examining the sheets Yuuki insisted on wanting – the Pokemon ones. "Remember, there's that part that wants to hurt you. And at the moment it is devouring the kissing one."

"Seriously, try it."

"You are getting dangerously close to being hurt." She glanced at Yuuki. "Grab two; that way you have an extra." Yuuki ran off to grab a second one, and Mikan turned to Natsume again. "Would you be terribly insulted if I beat you?"

"That sounds kinky."

"Oh my God, I don't know you. Please leave." Mikan lowered her head in humiliation, then went and paid for the sheets. "Deliver them at Jamie Swift's room later. He's a special star. Tell him that they're Mikan's." Mikan explained quickly then turned and left, Natsume at her heels.

"Bathroom!" Yuuki declared.

She rolled her eyes and turned to Natsume. "Do you know where they are?"

He started walking instead of answering, and Mikan followed with Yuuki.

She looked around, trying to remember her way around this place, but found it unfamiliar.

_Zzzt._

Mikan reached into her pocket and produced her cell phone, flipping it open quickly, and sighing when she realized it was Arden sending a text, not Kuonji.

'_Jade's wondering where you are. And Jamie keeps cursing you._'

She grinned then typed back quickly. '_Tell Jamie to keep quiet. I'm in Central Town with Yuuki, Damien and Natsume._' She glanced up at as they approached a small area with restrooms, and Yuuki instantly took off into one of them.

'_Aren't YOU little Miss Popular?_'

'_Shut up. Damien went and chased after some chick in the bookstore and Yuuki's in a washroom. And Natsume's being a jerk._'

"I'm not being a jerk; I'm being me." Natsume scoffed over her shoulder and she shoved him away.

"Stop spying."

'_None of those facts surprise me._'

'_Well, they shouldn't._'

'_Jade here! What did you do to my brother this morning?_'

Mikan grinned cheekily even though they couldn't see her. '_I woke him up early, forced him out of bed, then when he asked why I woke him up, admitted that I didn't really have a reason. Oh, and he fell. Twice._'

'_Well, he's not very happy._'

'_Well, neither am I. Natsume's being a jel;cl';_' Natsume smacked her hand in annoyance.

'_A jel;cl;?_'

'_He smacked my hand to prevent insults. That was the result._'

'_Oh. How was your first night in the 'Labyrinth Mansion?'_'

'_Would you believe nightmare free?_'

'_No._'

'_Good, it wasn't._'

'_I won't question it._'

Natsume yanked the phone away from her, holding it above her head.

"Hey!" Mikan cried, reaching for it angrily. "I need to reply!"

He shoved her away and examined it closely. "You know we're not allowed cell phones at Gakuen Alice, right?" he questioned.

She glared at him and reached for it again, missing. "Kuonji likes to keep contact with me in case I'm in trouble."

"Why do you have a friend as a contact then?"

"Because Jade gave him my number." She growled and he started typing a reply. "Hey! What do you think you're doing?" she reached for it again and he dodged out of the way.

"And, send." He handed it back to her, a triumphant gleam in his eyes.

She looked at the message he had just sent and the instant reply. '_Sorry I didn't reply instantly; I was making out with Natsume._'

'_Arden again. Jamie and Jade are hysterically laughing on the floor. I will soon be joining them._'

Mikan glared furiously at the gloating Natsume. "You suck." She grumbled. '_Shit! No! That was Natsume! He took my phone! WE WEREN'T DOING ANYTHING!_'

'_Arden has joined Jade on the floor. This is Jamie: Suuure you weren't._'

'_I fucking wasn't you prick! I'm going to kill you all!_' She turned and hit Natsume hard.

'_Well, I'm going to enjoy spreading the rumor._'

'_Don't you dare. I will see to it that you burn in the fiery pits of hell._'

'_I'll enjoy my last moments._'

'_Oh God, please don't say anything… this is already embarrassing enough to kill me. And Natsume seems to enjoy that…_' She hit Natsume again.

'_Oh relax, I won't. Yet. Oh, look there's Hotaru. I wonder what she would think of this._'

'_DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT YOU ASS!_'

'…_That better have been one of Natsume's perverted tricks, baka. Also, I think we need to talk._'

She turned to Natsume, waving the phone like a maniac. "Hotaru read that you idiot! Argh!" his smirk only widened. '_…Oh… hey Hotaru… yeah, that was Natsume. Don't worry, he's just… being Natsume…_'

'_While I'm in contact with you, I want to tell you NOW that I am thinking of many horrible ways to force the truth of what happened out of you._'

'_Oh, well that's pleasant. And maybe next time instead of telling my Uncle, who will then say something to Narumi, you will keep something to yourself, hm?_'

'_Sorry for caring about my best friend._'

'_Suggestion: Find a new best friend. Mitsuki, Jade and Jamie are my best friends now, and I have changed beyond repair; I think you know part of the reason now._'

'…_Were you really raped, Mikan? And what do you mean 'part' of the reason?_'

'_I mean there is far more to it than that. Being raped was easy. This is probably a discussion we should have face-to-face so you can watch me be taken into the hospital again and try to kill myself._'

'_I'm heading to Central Town at one. I am going to hunt you down._'

'_Good luck. Would you mind handing the phone back to Arden or Jamie or Jade so I can once again try to deny this perverted problem…_'

'_Whatever._' A few moments later another message came. '_This is Jade again. I would like to thank Natsume for that laugh. Jamie is grinning like a madman._'

'_I hate you._'

'_Jamie: Love you too._'

'_I hate you the most. I told you NOT to give the phone to Hotaru! Argh! Now she's going to hunt me down and kill me!_'

'_Apologies, but we must be going. P.S. Haha._'

She turned to the still smug Natsume and stomped on his foot. "You despicable, perverted jerk! Jamie is probably going to help Hotaru spread that rumor." She sat down and groaned into her jeans.

"Sorry, I wasn't aware I was a bad kisser."

Her fist shot out and she punched him in the knee, causing him to sit too. "I hate rumors! They ruined my life back in America…" Sensing his curiosity she continued, "People always spread awful rumors about me and Jamie and that Yuuki was _ours_ and that's why I acted so motherly to her…"

He was silent for a moment then his arm found it's way across her shoulders. "Well, at least boys won't look at you… and girls will leave me alone."

"Is this what that's about?" Mikan asked, head rising out of her legs. "You want to keep boys away from me? That's pathetic."

"What? No. It was a joke. I'm just trying to cheer you up."

She glowered at him. "Well, you failed." She said harshly, getting back to her feet as Yuuki came out of the bathroom. "You've made me feel like I'm your possession. And I'm _not_." She glared down at him. "I'm not _your_ anything anymore."

His face took on an emotionless look as he looked back at her, and she turned to smile at Yuuki. "It's time to go see Tsubasa-senpai now, Yuuki."

She nodded and took Mikan's hand and she started away as Yuuki sent a glance at Natsume, who hadn't risen. "Is Natsume-nii coming?"

Mikan turned back to look at him, then turned away again. "I don't know. If he wants, he can come, if he doesn't, he can stay here. But I promised to meet Tsubasa-senpai at one, and- oh crap. Hotaru said she was coming to Central Town at one." She turned to Natsume. "It might be wise to hide." She advised then turned away. "If you want us, we will be going to the howalon store."

She took off quickly with Yuuki, scanning the area for the howalon shop she had seen, then sighing in relief when she spotted it a few minutes later. "I don't see Tsubasa-senpai anywhere…"

Yuuki tugged at her hand and pointed a little farther ahead, where Tsubasa and Misaki were being chattered to by who she recognized as Tono, who looked much the same. Tsubasa looked frustrated as Tono ranted to him about something, and Mikan approached behind Tono, hearing his complaints. "Is she really back then? Because everyone is talking about it, rumors are _everywhere_ but I haven't seen her! She must be in your class or something, right? I mean-" she tuned him out as Tsubasa caught sight of her and smiled in relief.

"Oi, Tsubasa-senpai, this isn't where we agreed to meet up." She said, purposely ignoring Tono.

He grinned sheepishly. "We were… caught."

Tono turned in shock and froze when he saw her, dumbfounded.

"Well, you were so excited to see me a minute ago, I thought I should make an appearance and shut you up." Mikan explained, turning to look at Misaki, who avoided her eyes. "Misaki-senpai… I wanted to apologize for my behavior yesterday." She bowed in apology and pushed Yuuki forward. "This is Yuuki, by the way."

Tono gaped at her wordlessly.

"Oh, Natsume's with you?" Tsubasa questioned, eyes going behind her.

She turned, eyes landing on Natsume. "I guess he is." She looked back at Misaki. "I really am sorry…"

She looked up and gave a small smile, looking at Yuuki. "So Yuuki's really your…?"

"Yup. I'd say I'm proud, but sometimes I'm not." Yuuki turned and tried to bite her. "That's why." She picked her up and handed her to Misaki gently. "She likes being carried."

"Wait a minute!" Tono finally managed out. "You're really back?"

She rolled her eyes. "No, I'm not. I'm just here because I'm not."

Tono turned to Tsubasa, shocked by the attitude. "Mikan's attitude isn't like this!"

"Oh, yes it is." Mikan replied. "Seriously, Misaki-senpai and Tsubasa-senpai have accepted my changes – with good reason, considering what I told them. You'll have to as well."

He fainted.

"Well, that went well." Mikan decided after a moment. "Maybe I'll tell him what happened later – when I'm _not_ with Natsume."

"You haven't told him yet?" Tsubasa asked curiously. "Is that why lover-boy is mad at you?"

"No. It isn't easy to share what happened. You can understand that, can't you, after what I told you?"

He nodded, sparing a glance at the annoyed Natsume. "Well, ah, this little reunion with Tono didn't work, did it?"

She looked down at his unconscious body. "Not at all." She glanced around carefully. "Ah, I think we should leave now. Hotaru's going to come look for me and Natsume and murder us."

"Should I ask why?"

"Natsume nabbed my phone and told Arden, a friend of mine, that we were making out. And Hotaru read it. And I told her I was raped, and that the rape was the easy part…"

Tsubasa looked torn between laughing and pitying her. "Well, you've definitely been through some awful things, Mikan."

"I know. I was there." Mikan joked dryly.

A small smile cracked on his face and he turned to Misaki, who was still holding Yuuki. "Hey," he turned to her again. "Can we watch Yuuki for awhile? Get to know your daughter?"

She looked at Yuuki, who stared at her blankly. "Do you want to spend some time with your senpai's, Yuuki?"

She nodded blankly, but smiled.

"I leave her in your hopefully capable hands." Mikan said, "I'm going to go look for a dance club now."

Tsubasa blinked in surprise. "The dance club? I'd avoid that place if I were you."

Mikan shrugged. "I'm supposed to meet up with a friend there."

He nodded hesitantly. "Well, be careful."

"Will do." She waved farewell. "I'll pick Yuuki up later tonight at your room." She pointed to the east and started walking, "Onward!"

She could imagine Natsume's eye roll.

"Are you coming?" she asked him curiously. He blinked once then followed her slowly. "Oh my God, you're so slow." She whined, grabbing his hand and pulling him along quicker. "Hotaru could find us any minute you know." She said, looking through the rows of shops. She stopped in front of a flashy building with a sign so bright she couldn't read it. "I'm going to go ahead and guess this is it." She pulled him in, scowling at the overly loud music and flashing lights. "Ugh, Damien _would_ like this place." She scoffed to herself, looking at the skimpily dressed girls. "See?" she said, turning to Natsume, "This top is _very_ appropriate. At least compared to these people."

He didn't reply and Mikan led him over to a counter at the side, sitting in a barstool fashioned seat.

"I don't like this place," she decided as some boys gave her passing looks. "When I see Damien, we're leaving."

"Aw, not even one dance?" Mikan turned around, blinking through the weird lights and faced Damien. He grabbed her hand and pulled her up. "One dance, then you can leave, okay?" She glared at him. "One. That's all."

She hesitated then turned to Natsume, shouting above the music, "I'm going to dance once with Damien, then we'll leave, okay?"

He blinked in reply and Mikan followed Damien through the people, scowling as people bumped into her uncaringly.

A song Mikan didn't know started playing ridiculously loud and Damien started dancing. Or, rather, side-stepping to the beat like all of the other people were.

"This is an insult to dancing." Mikan stated, not moving.

He rolled his eyes. "You wouldn't say that if you hadn't been trained professionally." He grabbed her hands and forced her to move.

She sighed soundlessly and 'danced' with him, relieved when the song ended and she started making her way back to the seats she and Natsume had taken.

Empty.

She mentally cursed him, glancing around.

A familiar hand grabbed her waist and twisted her around, and a scream caught in her throat as it tightened in her terror.

David smiled at her. "Mikan, what are you doing here?" he asked wickedly.

She glanced around desperately, looking for Natsume or Damien.

Damien was dancing with another girl, too absorbed with her to notice Mikan, and Natsume was still gone.

She froze, biting her tongue.

He pulled her towards him, hands going to the bare skin on her stomach, and she jerked away, finally regaining her movement.

He grinned, blue eyes sparkling evilly. "Where's _Natsume_, Mikan? You're savior?" he asked, pulling her back toward him roughly.

Tears burned at the back of her eyes, but she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing them, instead freezing to the spot.

His hands wrapped around her as he tried to get her to dance.

"Why are you still here?" she rasped, swallowing with difficulty.

"Me and Alexandria are leaving tomorrow morning." He winked at her. "That leaves more fun for us."

"You should be with your girlfriend." She insisted, fingers curling into her palms, nails digging into her skin as she tried to regain herself.

He rolled his eyes, looking in a direction she presumed Alexandria was in. "She's dancing with another boy or four over there." He explained, "That's why I'm glad you're here."

"She's your girlfriend; you should tell her not too." She tried to pull away from him weakly, heart seizing in horror. '_Help me! Natsume, if you couldn't before, now's the time!_'

"Prayers answered, polka-dots." A voice hissed behind her, and she was pulled back abruptly. "_Don't_ touch what belongs to me." As simple as that, Natsume was pulling her towards the door at top speed and Mikan stumbled to keep up with him.

He turned as soon as they were out the door and started towards one of the many forested areas around the Gakuen.

She went with him, uncomplaining as she tried to register what had happened, head spinning so violently she shook with it.

He trapped her against one of the trees, hands gripping her shoulders painfully tight, head bowing low so she couldn't see his expression. "I don't care if you disagree – you're _mine._"

She burst into tears and tried to slide down the trunk of the tree, but he held her up. "N-Natsume," she hiccupped between sobs, "W-where did you come f-from?" she swiped at the tears awkwardly, trying to regain her dignity.

Finally he looked up at her, eyes clouded with undying fury. "I never left," he whispered, "I saw that guy and went and looked for you, and I heard you screaming for help… but you weren't, were you?" He paused and she sniffled pathetically, shaking her head, and he said more to himself than her, "Our bonds are still that strong…"

"Why are you still here?" she choked out, wiping her eyes again. "I keep pushing you away, why do you keep coming back…?" she sobbed again and continued, "I'm so awful to you, but whenever I turn around, you're there again…"

His chin rested lightly on the top of her head and his arms went around her waist, pulling her closer to him. "Idiot," he sighed against her head, "I love you, from now until forever…"

Her last restraint broke and she cried harder. "Why?" She sobbed into his shirt, "I keep pushing you away… why, why, why?" Her arms wound around him and she arched into his body, clinging tightly, crying uncontrollably. "You idiot…"

"Mikan…" his voice echoed with pain. "Do you really love Jamie more than me…?" he asked uncertainly.

"Natsume, I-"

_Click_

She paused then ducked to the ground, pulling Natsume down with her, just as a bullet flew by them and Hotaru stepped through the trees, Ruka at her side.

'_Should've seen that coming._' Mikan mused, standing up and stepping away from Natsume. "Good afternoon, Hotaru-chan, Ruka-pyon." She said, stoic face back.

Hotaru scowled. "I want you to tell me what's going on. _Now_."

Mikan frowned. "Well, I greeted you…"

"Don't play innocent with me," she hissed, stepping forward threateningly. "I've waited _four years_ to hear your voice again, and you won't even come near me."

"You're correct."

She gritted her teeth and turned to Natsume. "Hyuuga, what do you know?"

He shrugged, uncaring mask up again. "She was raped, she knows who raped her, she has a kid, she refuses to tell me anything about her past…" he paused thoughtfully and Mikan glared at him. "Her attitudes changed, she's cold, and she has the fourth alice shape… Shadow and Misaki know what happened to her. And a couple of her friends, Mitsuki, Damien and Jamie."

Hotaru nodded, pleased that Natsume had cooperated. "And what about you two?" she asked, narrowing her eyes. "Don't think I didn't see you two… embracing. What happened to not being touched?"

"Natsume just saved me from possibly being raped again. I kind of forgot because I was crying so hard." Mikan stated dryly. "Can I leave?"

"No. You said something that implied that other things happened to you, and I intend to find out what they are."

_Zzzt_

Mikan took her cell phone out of pocket, relieved to get away from the questions. "What do you want, Arden?" she asked into the phone, casting a look at the very annoyed Hotaru.

"_Jamie, actually._"

"Oh. Well I don't want to talk to you, you traitor."

"_Yeah, whatever. Are you okay? My Mikan senses were tingling._"

"Your _Mikan_ senses? Who are you, Spiderman?" she scoffed, backing away from Hotaru a few steps.

"_Yes. So? What happened? I could hear you like, screaming your lungs out in the back of my head._"

"Just a run in with the devil."

"_Kuonji?_"

"David." Mikan corrected, biting her tongue.

"…_Where is he? I have an ass to kick._"

"Well, that's wonderful, but frankly I don't need you to do that. I could do it myself, but when I see him I freeze and cry and shit. It's _my_ job to beat him for what he did." Hotaru's eyes narrowed with suspicion.

"_Are you kidding me? Now that I know what he did to you, I'm killing him._' He snarled with anger. "_If I _ever_ see his face again, he'll be lucky to come out alive._"

"Yes, well that's very touching, but Hotaru is giving me a scary look."

"_Oh… Well, you are okay, right? He didn't do anything?_"

"I think… he was going to rape me again..." Mikan admitted, glancing at Hotaru again. "But I'm fine, really. Natsume came to the rescue, unlike _you_ Spiderman."

"_Ha-ha-ha._" Jamie retorted angrily. "_Well, I'll leave you to be threatened. Bye._"

"Ja ne." Mikan said, flipping the phone shut and glaring at Hotaru. "Okay, so you can keep questioning me now, Jamie's gone." She paused thoughtfully. "How about you ask me questions, and I'll answer them with yes, no and maybe."

Taking to the idea, Hotaru smirked. "You were raped, correct?"

"Yes."

"By the person named David I'm assuming?"

"Yup. Hey, can I ask a question?" Hotaru didn't reply. "Are you and Ruka-pyon dating?"

Hotaru's cheeks tinted pink and Ruka's was tenfold.

"Well, I'm going to say yes."

"You've started singing to let out your anguish?" She continued instead of answering.

"Indeed."

"You have the fourth alice shape?"

"Yes."

"Does that have anything to do with Hyuuga _not_ having it?"

"Yes."

"That girl yesterday was your daughter?"

"Yes."

She paused, running out of yes or no questions, then finally asked one that made Mikan's heart stop, "Did something happen to your grandpa?"

Mikan remained silent.

A look of fear crossed Hotaru's face as she imagined Mikan's grandfather. "Mikan, he's alright, right?" she demanded.

Mikan looked at her blankly. "No." she stated emotionlessly.

Hotaru flinched. "He's alive though? Right?"

"No."

Hotaru laughed nervously. "You… you're kidding, right?"

"No."

Hotaru slid to the ground, a look of sadness appearing on her face, and she barely managed to ask more questions, "Does his death have anything to do with your change?"

"Yes."

She looked down momentarily then her looked up abruptly, furious. "Does Kuonji have anything to do with his death?"

"Maybe."

"Did he _kill_ him?"

Mikan smiled. "Kill? No. Not technically."

"Not _technically?_"

"Kuonji doesn't want to 'taint' himself like that. Like with my father – he made Persona kill him, remember?" She backed away from the trio. "Questions, questions, questions, all about grandpa and me. Why don't you ask about something else?" She turned away and started out of the secluded area. "The past is forbidden to talk about, and I've broken the rule. Again. I have to get Yuuki."

A mechanical claw dragged her back and Mikan glared at Hotaru. "This is new."

"You're not going anywhere."

"I'm not?" Mikan asked, "You think _this_ can restrain me?" with the snap of her fingers it crumbled apart, and Hotaru dropped the remote in shock. "You are looking at a girl with four years of training, missions and thousands of alice stones inserted in her. A measly contraption of yours can't hold me back."

Hotaru fumed and Mikan backed away again. "I will be off now." She teleported away before any of them could reply, appearing before Tsubasa room and knocking loudly on his door, hoping he was there.

The door popped open and Misaki peeked out, grinning. "Mikan! Yuuki is fine, you came to pick her up?" Mikan nodded and Misaki dragged her into the room.

Tono was unconscious on the couch and Tsubasa and Yuuki were sitting in front of a Snakes and Ladders board, Tsubasa with a very serious face on as he examined the board.

"Uh, Tsubasa-senpai?" He looked up and smiled at her. "Has Tono-senpai been unconscious since I left you guys?"

He nodded, turning his attention back to the board and crying out sadly as Yuuki won.

"And you didn't think of splashing water on him to wake him up…?" He looked at her, stupefied. "I guess not. May I do the honors?" Without waiting, she dropped a wave of water on him, and he woke up with a girly shriek.

Tsubasa broke into laughter and Misaki grinned.

"Woah," he shook some of the water off of him. "I had a dream that Mikan came back…"

"Dude, she _is_ back." Tsubasa grinned and pointed to her as she sat down beside Yuuki on the floor.

"What? No, that's impossible. And cruel," he added unbelievingly.

"You know, maybe I'll just leave." Mikan offered with an eye roll. "It doesn't matter if he believes or not."

Tsubasa ignored her but Tono looked at her weirdly. "See? Mikan doesn't talk to her senpai's like that."

"Yes she does." Mikan replied.

"She does," Tsubasa agreed. "Kid's got attitude."

"Mikan doesn't have attitude." Tono insisted.

"I'm not eleven anymore, I've _changed_. The worlds a cruel, cruel place." Mikan snapped.

"Not for Mikan."

"You know what, I'll just take Yuuki and leave. You guys can try and convince him, but frankly it's annoying me. I've had enough issues for today, so I'm going." She got to her feet with Yuuki and started for the door. "You can tell him some of what happened if you want. It doesn't matter."

She shut it loudly then turned to Yuuki. "And now, Jamie's room for your sheets. And yes, we're teleporting. It's a lazy day for me today."

"Poof!" Yuuki declared as they magically appeared in the special star dorm.

Mikan rolled her eyes and knocked on Jamie's door then glared at it when she received no reply. "Well, I'm going in, anyway." Mikan grumbled, inviting herself into Jamie's empty room. "Ah-ha!" she walked over to his bed where the package of sheets was laying. "Well, at least he was here when it arrived."

She grabbed a piece of paper and pen from his bedside table and wrote a quick note, grabbing the sheets, _Thanks for accepting the sheets, Spiderman_. "And we're off again! Reminder, I'm still lazy, so we are teleporting again." She paused as her eyes landed on Jamie's open yearbook, the page that David's picture was on open, and Jamie had drawn a mustache on his face. She grabbed the pen again and added to the note she had written: _P.S. Nice mustache drawing, O Mature One._

She grinned and grabbed Yuuki, who declared rather loudly, "Poof!" again as Mikan teleported them back to her room in the Labyrinth Mansion.


	15. All I Need

**Yay, more double updates.**

**This may be written a bit… different in some spots. On my other file, somebody insulted me. Three times. So… I'm kinda hurt and very unsure about my writing and stuff. Seriously, I don't mind having mistakes pointed out, but I do mind being insulted. Repeatedly. **

**Anyway, FFN won't let me upload, so I'm gonna keep writing chapters~**

**But! Please enjoy. I know I do. Hehehe… **

* * *

><p>"It's mine!" Yuuki shrieked.<p>

"Hell no! This is _so_ mine now!" Damien snapped.

Mikan watched them have a tug-of-war over the Pokemon bed sheets in amusement. "Damien, seriously, they're just bed sheets."

"But they're _Pokemon_ bed sheets!" he whined, letting go of them and Yuuki toppled over, then sat up and made a face at him.

"You're just staying here until Monday, why does it matter?"

"_Pokemon_ bed sheets!" he repeated stubbornly.

"Oh, don't be a baby." Mikan chastised, rolling her eyes and looking towards her bookshelf, which now held a good chunk of her books, Flowers in the Attic included. '_I'm Cathy. I don't have any brother-lover, but I have two annoying kids to take care of._' She glared at Damien as he sulked.

"Oh, and I'm staying longer after all. I will be leaving on Thursday." He corrected randomly.

"Well, good for you." Mikan scoffed uncaringly. She glanced at her clock. "It's nine. I'm putting Yuuki to bed. Are you going out again tonight?"

He nodded and Mikan helped Yuuki into her bedroom then walked back in, scowling.

"So, let me guess, I'm going to levitate you down to the ground and tomorrow I'll find you napping in a hole?"

"Yup."

"…Well, at least I won't have to listen to you complain about bed sheets anymore."

"_Pokemon_ bed sheets!"

She shoved him out the balcony door, activated her levitation alice and flung him to the ground quickly, only stopping right before he hit the ground.

"Woo-hoo! Do it again!"

Mikan rolled her eyes and dropped him the last little bit of the way.

"Ow."

"Goodbye, Demon." She sighed, peeking over the edge of the balcony

"Night, Sakura." And he was gone.

She stood there for a moment before heading back into her room and walking over to the bookshelf, grabbing out Rapunzel. She flipped to the back, where she had written a note to herself if she ever came back; her feelings the night Natsume had come, walking outside again and letting the moonlight wash over the page.

She had written down what she had thought so she could come back and try to feel like that again.

'_Natsume, I love you… I may not have anything to give you as a Christmas present but… all I have… they overflow inside of me, unstoppable… These feelings I have only for you… From now until forever, more than anyone else… I will love you Natsume…_'

She scowled and tossed the book behind her.

'_How to make Mikan feel like crap in three seconds, the guide!_' her scowl deepened and she slumped into a chair she had sitting outside, looking at the full moon. '_And a full moon, too? Really?_'

"It's an omen!" she shrieked to herself, leaping to her feet. "Something's going to happen…" She heard a small snap from somewhere in the distance and glanced around suspiciously. '_Music to calm the soul…_' she decided.

"_I'm dying to catch my breath  
>Oh, why don't I ever learn?<br>I've lost all of my trust  
>Though I've surely tried to turn it around,<em>"

She sang quietly, sound-proofing her walls so Yuuki wouldn't hear her and wake up. She got up and peered over the edge of the balcony again, seeing nothing, and she climbed onto the railing, balancing precariously.

"_Can you still see the heart of me?  
>All of my agony fades away<br>When you hold me in your embrace,  
>Don't tear me down for all I need<br>Make my heart a better place  
>Give me something I can believe,<br>Don't tear me down  
>You've opened the door now<br>Don't let it close,_"

She stood up on it and walked along it dangerously, eyes on the ground so far below her. She dangled one foot over the edge temptingly then continued walking along it, frowning.

"_I'm here on the edge again  
>I wish I could let it go<br>I know that I'm only one step away  
>From turning it around,<em>"

Something moved, but she couldn't see it properly, so she jumped off the ledge back onto the porch and looked out, trying to catch sight of it again.

'_Maybe I'm going crazy…_'

"_Can you still see the heart of me?  
>All my agony fades away<br>When you hold me in your embrace,  
>Don't tear me down for all I need<br>Make my heart a better place  
>Give me something I can believe,<br>Don't tear it down, what's left of me  
>Make my heart a better place,<em>"

Nothing.

But she walked back into the safety of her room, leaving her door open and looking up at her roof, which, at her request, was made of glass so she could see the sky at night.

"_I tried many times but nothing was real  
>Make it fade away, don't break me down<br>I want to believe that this is for real  
>Save me from my fear, don't tear me down,<br>Don't tear me down for all I need  
>Make my heart a better place,<em>"

'_You're hearing things._' She told herself, trying to relax herself. '_Or Damien is pranking you._' That made sense. '_Concentrate on something else._'

"_Don't tear me down for all I need  
>Make my heart a better place<br>Give me something I can believe,_"

She sat on her bed, ignoring the thump she heard outside again. '_Wind._' She told herself, repositioning herself on the bed so she was sitting on her legs.

"_Don't tear it down, what's left of me  
>Make my heart a better place<br>Make my heart a better place._"

She slipped her pocketknife out and threw it towards the door and it lodged in the wall beside Natsume's head.

"What do you think you're doing here?" she hissed in distrust, walking over to him to pull the knife out of her wall.

He rolled his eyes as though it was obvious. "I'm here to take you away from here."

She scowled and fell back onto her bed. "You're about four years to late."

"Hey, you're the one that said it didn't matter how long it took." He said with a shrug, sitting beside her.

"I lied."

"No you didn't."

"Yes I did."

"No you didn't."

She glared at him furiously. "I'm sorry, but I'm me, and I know that I did. You're you, so you can keep denying it if you want, but it will get you nowhere."

He gave her a blank look. "You didn't lie."

She sighed in defeat. "Why are you here?" she paused in confusion. "How did you get here?"

"I found this place three years ago. You weren't here, so I figured he moved you."

She hummed softly. "And, why are you here?" she repeated.

"I came to continue our conversation."

"Which one?" she asked, fully aware of which one he was talking about.

He shoved her against the bed and pinned her down, smirking. "Well, I believe we were in a position like this, and you were about to tell me if you loved me."

"That wasn't very nice," Mikan grumbled, struggling to move her hands that he had pinned.

"You're blushing." His smirk widened.

She struggled to move again, and when she decided she couldn't, settled on glaring at him evilly and hissing like a cat.

He quirked an eyebrow, half amused, half confused at her hiss. "The sooner you tell me, the sooner you can move. Or maybe you don't want to move because you like the position we're in?" he asked suggestively.

She huffed loudly. "I know nothing, so I can't answer your questions."

"I won't deny that you don't know anything," he stated and she scowled. "So, Polka," he placed his head beside hers. "Do you still love me?"

"Everyone I love dies."

"Do you still love me?"

"Love is pointless."

"Do you still love me?"

"No."

"Liar."

"I'm not lying!" Mikan defended herself haughtily, though they both knew she was.

He sat back slightly so he could look into her eyes. "If you didn't still love me, you probably wouldn't let me be in this position with you."

She struggled slightly again, blushing harder, but he kept her trapped beneath him.

"So?" he persisted, leaning so their faces were almost touching.

She glared at him spitefully, willing him to move.

He stayed put, looking down at her smugly. "Say it."

"Screw you."

"Say it."

She stayed silent.

"We could be here all night."

She hissed again.

"Say. It." He waited again, and she simply hissed. "Say it or I'm going to kiss you."

She squeaked and struggled violently.

"Five seconds."

She glared at him for three of them, before blurting out loudly, "I love you!" she struggled again. "No, I hate you. Move!"

He shook his head, a satisfied smirk on his face. "Well, that's a good first step."

"First step?" she cried, fidgeting unhappily.

"Now, tell me you love me more than Jamie."

"You're still annoyed over that?" Mikan shrieked angrily.

"So, do you?"

She didn't reply, instead turned her face away from his.

He dared moving one of his hands away and she shoved him away quickly, turning so she was pinning him to her bed instead of the opposite.

She grinned down at him cheekily. "I should've thought of doing that sooner." He frowned. "Well, isn't this a turn of events? I'm on top smirking and you're under me frowning."

He stuck his tongue out childishly.

She scowled suddenly. "Why are you so insistent on knowing who I love more?"

"Because I love you more than anyone else, and I want you to feel the same."

She smacked him on the forehead. "Who do you _think_ I love more?"

"I don't know. That's why I'm asking. I _think_ Jamie."

She smacked him on the forehead again. "_Beep!_ Wrong answer! You lose five points."

"Five- what are you talking about?"

She glared down at him silently. "You're an idiot." She reached to smack him on the forehead again but he dodged. "I love Jamie very much." She started, "He's very special and I would probably die without him." She paused as Natsume looked up at her, hurt. "But Jamie's _ice._"

He blinked. "I don't follow."

"Jamie's ice," she repeated. "He freezes me and holds me together. Without him I would fall apart, like you have seen me do many times in the last few days. But you," she jabbed a finger at him. "You're fire." He waited for her to continue. "_You_ burn through me and make me feel alive! _You_ make me feel safe, scared, happy, sad, certain, uncertain, _you_ can make me feel all of those at the same time, whereas Jamie doesn't! Jamie isn't _you!_"

He stared up at her, face twisted in confusion.

"_I love you, you idiot!_" she shrieked impatiently. "I don't think of _Jamie_ when I'm lonely and want to feel loved! _He_ doesn't randomly pop into my head in the middle of the day! When I want comfort I don't think about _his_ arms around me! I don't miss kissing _him!_ _That's all you! _You _are all I think about! You, you, you!_"

Without waiting for him to reply, she leaned down and kissed him furiously, barely registering it when he started kissing her back.

_Zzzt_

Mikan jumped away from him, and just as quickly as it started, the kiss ended. Her cell phone vibrated in her pocket, and she fell to the floor clumsily.

Natsume peeked over the side of the bed, smirking. "Who knew Polka-dots was so _lustful_."

She ignored his jibe and grabbed her cell phone in annoyance. "_Just wanted to tell you to make sure not to do something you'd regret – Jamie._" Mikan read out loud. "How the hell does he just _know_ things?"

"What, so you regret telling me that?" Natsume asked, pulling her back onto the bed.

_Zzzt_

She flinched and almost dropped the phone, then looked at the new message. "It's from Kuonji…" she whispered, "_Get that boy out of your room._" She paused, flushing in embarrassment. "…I forgot he has things watching me…" she looked around the room for a camera but spotted none. "These people are messed up…"

Natsume remained silent as she quickly replied to Jamie. '_Leave me alone. I'm not doing anything. And Yuuki's asleep, so no phoning._' Then she looked around again for a camera before declaring loudly, "Natsume will leave when he feels like it." She turned her phone off to prevent further messages and turned to glare at Natsume.

"You know I won't ever _feel_ like leaving, right?" he asked.

"Precisely."

"…Were you planning this?"

"No. I wasn't really expecting any of this to happen. At all." She paused as it finally dawned on her what she had done. "…I'm going to go and hide under the bed now…"

She started sliding off the bed but Natsume caught her wrist and pulled her back up, looking at her intently. "Did you mean what you said?"

She reached forward and smacked him on the head three times, one for every word she spoke. "You're an idiot."

He ducked away from her fist, catching it with his other hand. "Say it again." He leaned towards her, eyes shining with happiness that he rarely showed.

"What that whole thing? I don't even remember half of it anymore…"

"No, idiot, tell me you love me again."

"Why? You haven't said it back to me yet."

"I'll say it after you do." He insisted, reminding Mikan again of the past.

She looked at him blankly then down at the floor. "I love you, Natsume, more than you'll ever know."

He smiled. Natsume Hyuuga _smiled_. Not a smirk, a _smile._ Creepy… "Yeah, me too." He leaned forward and kissed her again. "I love you, too, Mikan."

* * *

><p><strong>So there you go. It happened. Finally. I bet you were getting impatient... because even I was.<br>**


	16. So What I Lied

"So, what happened last night anyway?" Jamie asked the next morning when she went to wake him up, only to find him already awake.

Mikan gave him a fake questioning look. "Nothing. Why?"

"Nothing?" he repeated.

"Nothing." She lied.

"Nothing? _Nothing_ at all?" he continued.

"Nothing." She said again, rolling her eyes at him.

He scowled at her silently.

"Okay, what now?"

He glared at her for another moment. "You have a hickey." He stated at last.

"_What?_" she looked quickly into his window at her reflection, then turned to glare at his triumphant face. "You _liar_."

He sighed in exasperation, "Yes, _I'm_ the liar." He hit her over the head. "So, what happened?"

"Nothing!" she whined in a far from convincing tone.

"Well then why'd you look at your reflection when I said that?" An infuriating smirk added to the embarrassing comment.

She twiddled her fingers awkwardly. "I just saw Natsume last night…"

He blinked, unsurprised. "And you believed the hickey thing _why_…?" he narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "You _did_ heed my warning and not do anything you'd regret, right?"

"Yes! Ew!" Mikan cried in embarrassment. "We didn't go far! _Ew!_ W-we only kissed! I swear!"

He continued to exam her closely. "Tell me what happened last night _exactly_ until Natsume left."

She started to let out another complaint but he silenced her with a smack. "Okay, okay! He came to my room last night 'cause he knew where it was, and – shit, you know, I really don't want to share this." Penetrating glare. "Fine! He came to my room, made me confess that I love him, I forced a kiss on him –not that he complained or anything, but it was forced- you interrupted with a text, Kuonji messaged me to tell me to get Natsume out of my room, I ignored him, Natsume told me that he loved me then asked me again to tell him what happened, I didn't want to, so he gave up and we slept."

"…In the same room?" She nodded. "That is _very_ unladylike."

"Oh shut up, we only kissed." Mikan repeated angrily.

"I don't know. Now that you've done something like that, I don't think I should continue to talk to you. It'll make me look bad." He said teasingly, ruffling her hair.

She smacked him playfully, jumping out of the way when he tried to hit her back. "Well, if that's all, I'm going to go and bug the girls. You can go to sleep or something." She paused in his doorway. "So, hey, wait, are you and Claire officially going out now or what? Cause, I mean, you guys were…" she trailed off awkwardly.

He coughed, blushing, "Uh… yeah, I guess…"

Mikan gaped at him. "Holy- really?" he blushed deeper and nodded. "About time!"

"Oh shut up." He scoffed, shoving her out of his room quickly, the shutting the door in her face.

"Hey now, I was just congratulating you, no need to be rude." She replied to the closed door, and she could imagine Jamie's eye roll.

Rolling her eyes herself, she turned quickly to Jade's room, inviting herself in.

Jade and Claire were eating quietly and Mitsuki was sleeping soundly on the bed.

Jade signaled for her to be quiet, but she walked over to Mitsuki and leaned towards her ear, sending a wry smile at the other two, who looked like they were holding back laughter.

"_Oh my God, Mitsuki wake up there's a flying ninja outside!_" Mikan screamed in her sleeping friends ear.

Mitsuki jumped to her feet instantly, flying over to the window. "_Where?_" she shrieked back, looking around wildly.

Jade broke into hysterics and even Claire laughed, though tried to hide it.

Mitsuki turned to them in confusion then slowly realization poured in. "Aw, so there _isn't_ a flying ninja?"

Mikan grinned, shaking her head. "Sorry, that was just to awesome of an idea to pass up."

She sighed heavily as a reply and went and stole a piece of Jade's toast. Nibbling on it sulkily, she looked at Mikan again. "So what happened yesterday? I walked out into the hall and Arden, Jade and Jamie were laughing so hard they couldn't breath."

Jade laughed harder.

"Natsume pulled a prank on me…" Mikan said, glaring at Jade.

"…What _kind_ of prank?"

"An embarrassing one."

Mitsuki waited for her to elaborate, then huffed impatiently, "Well? What happened?"

Mikan examined her feet for a moment. "He took my cell and relied to a message from Arden that I would've replied sooner, but I was making out with him…"

Jade continued to laugh and Claire and Mitsuki smiled. "So wait, _were_ you?" Mitsuki asked.

"No!" Mikan exclaimed in embarrassment. "He just took my phone and put it in as a joke."

Mitsuki's grin fell slightly. "So you guys _still_ haven't gotten together?" she asked in a whiny voice.

Mikan blushed, fiddling with her pant leg. "I didn't say that…"

Her eyes widened triumphantly. "So you _are_ together?"

Mikan frowned. "I don't know exactly. We didn't really say…"

"What _did_ you say?" Claire asked, suddenly interested.

Mikan blushed furiously and choked on air, and the three others looked at each other knowingly. "N-never mind that!" Mikan sputtered out, and pointed at Claire. "What about you!" she demanded, "We saw you and Jamie yesterday!"

It was Claire's turn to blush. "Hey! Don't pin this conversation on me!"

"You guys did it with me!" Mikan accused.

"I know, let's stop talking about relationships!" Jade suggested immediately, "Let's go and wander around or something."

Mikan and Claire agreed quickly, but Mitsuki glared at them all before sighing out consent. "I will figure this out eventually."

"Yes, yes, so you say." Mikan mimicked and Mitsuki scowled. "Let's get Jamie and Arden and go and do something!" She opened the door and tackled the room Arden was sleeping ins door, grinning as he opened it to peer out at her in amusement.

"Did you run into the door, or just knock _very_ loudly?"

"I ran into it." She looked into the room that was hers for one brief day. "My, my, you've made yourself at home."

Littered around the room were little contraptions Arden had been working on with his invention alice. She picked up one in the shape of a fist, holding it a safe distance from her. "What's this?"

He grinned, taking it from her. "It's a punching machine-thingy. See, you just click this button, and the fist smacks whoever you're aiming at." To prove it, he aimed it at Jade and shot her, causing her to let out a squeal.

"Abuse!" She squeaked, "Man down! Man down!" she slid to the floor dramatically and Arden handed the machine back to Mikan with a roll of his eyes.

"Okay, first, you're a girl, so it would be _woman_ down," Arden said, helping his girlfriend back to her feet, "Second, I didn't hit you; the machine did. So it's not abuse _technically._"

Jade grumbled insults and ignored him.

"Hey," Mikan started, twisting the punching machine around in her hands, "Can I try this on Jamie?" Arden nodded. "Oh, wait. Claire, permission to hit your boyfriend?"

She scowled. "Permission granted."

"Okay. My mission, because I accepted it, is to go and knock on Jamie's door, and when he opens it, surprise him by shooting him in the face." Mikan nodded to herself, pleased with the idea, and bolted over to Jamie's room without waiting for a reply.

"Oi," she called, knocking on the door. "We're all gonna go and do something, so come out of your hole."

Jade giggled behind her, waiting with anticipation, Claire watched with an amused look and Arden smiled evilly.

Mikan shushed Jade as Jamie replied, "I have this feeling your planning something."

"I'm _always_ planning something, idiot. Now, come, or we're leaving without you."

There was a loud sigh, "Okay, okay, give me a minute, it's still hard to move around with this splint."

Mikan's eyes gleamed dangerously.

"…What are you doing?" a familiar voice asked behind Mikan, and she twisted her head to look at Natsume.

She clamped a hand over his mouth as the doorknob jiggled, aiming the fist at the door.

"What ar-"

_Smack!_

"-Ow! What the hell?" Jamie exclaimed, holding his left cheek furiously.

Mikan burst into joyful laughter, Jade and Mitsuki fell to the floor hysterically, Arden snickered, Claire smiled widely and even Natsume smirked in amusement.

"Oh God, sorry, but that was funnier than I imagined it." Mikan said between laughs, "It literally rebounded off your face with a funny noise. I thought that only happened in TV. Can I do it again?"

"No." Jamie snapped, smacking her over the head roughly.

"Abuse!" Jade declared then laughed harder.

She turned to Arden. "Hey, can I keep this? It would come in handy." He thought for a moment and Mikan added in the most serious tone she could muster, "Arden, I will love you forever if you let me keep this contraption to beat Jamie with."

"That's… sweet?" Arden laughed. "Keep it. I don't really have anyone I enjoy beating up – except Jade, that is."

"Abuse!"

"I'll make another. Enjoy." Arden continued, ignoring Jade's declaration.

Mikan aimed it again at Jamie, and he reached forward to snatch it away from her, missing by only a centimeter. "Oh hell no, I'm making you miserable with this baby." Mikan said, twirling it around on her finger.

He reached for it again and she backed away, holding it threateningly. "Okay, how about for today, you give it back to Arden?"

"No. This is mine now."

"Fine. Just don't shoot me with it again today."

"You got it, tomorrow, bright and early, this is waking you up." Her smile evaporated as the door to the special stars dorm opened and Alexandria walked in, closely followed by David.

Jamie shoved her quickly into his room, shutting the door after Natsume slipped in with her.

She ignored him and tried to look through the crack between the wall and door, scowling when she couldn't see anything. She settled for pressing her ear against the door and listening.

"We're leaving in a few minutes," she heard Alexandria say, "Just stopped to say bye."

"That's unlike you." She heard Arden mutter.

"It was David's idea."

"Of course it was." Mitsuki hissed with hostility. "Mikan's not here, so there wasn't any point in coming."

"Really? Where is she?" David asked curiously.

"She's off somewhere with Yuuki." Jamie lied with undisguised hatred. Yuuki was being watched over by Tsubasa, at his request.

"Babysitting you two's daughter? How appropriate." Alexandria laughed snidely.

Mikan's jaw clenched and she had to restrain herself from leaping out of the room to rip her face off.

"That isn't me and Mikan's baby, Alexandria." Jamie said in a deathly calm voice.

"You're right, Mikan just whored herself off to some guy."

She reached furiously for the knob but Natsume's hand held hers back, though he looked like he wanted to go out and confront her too.

"Oh yes, _Mikan's_ the whore in this room. Certainly not _you._" Mitsuki remarked bitterly.

Alexandria huffed angrily. "David, I want to leave."

Suddenly there was a loud crash and a cry of shock.

She lunged towards the doorknob again and Natsume held her back, covering her mouth with his own to smother her cry of shock.

"What do you think you're doing?" Alexandria's voice shrieked shrilly, snapping Mikan back to reality and away from Natsume's lips.

"Get out," Hotaru's voice echoed coldly.

"What?"

"Get out. _Now._" Hotaru repeated.

There was the sound of footsteps and a door slamming then a moment of silence before Hotaru spoke up, "You. Your name is David?"

"What the hell is going on?" David demanded furiously.

"Your name." Hotaru repeated.

"Yes, my name is David! What in the bloody hell do you want from me?"

"I'm going to _kill you_." Hotaru hissed viciously, and the sound of her baka-guns shots echoed repeatedly.

Mikan squirmed away from Natsume and ripped the door open quickly, eyes flicking to all of the surprised people.

Jade, Arden and Claire were standing by the door to Arden's room, equal looks of shock on their faces, Jamie was standing beside his door, watching Hotaru shoot David over and over again, fury circulating in his eyes and Hotaru was towering over David, who was stuck to the ground with one of Hotaru's inventions.

Mikan lunged towards Hotaru, yanking the baka-gun out of her hands, and her eyes flicked away from David to her.

"What do you think you're doing?" Hotaru spat, reaching for her baka-gun.

"Hotaru, stop this at once!" Mikan snapped, holding the gun away from Hotaru.

"Stop?" She asked incredulously. "Stop hurting this… this _monster?_ After you told me _he_ was the one who raped you?"

Jade cried out in disbelief, Arden's mouth hung open and Claire let out a horrified gasp.

"That's exactly what I'm asking you to do." Mikan said calmly. "If you let your anger takeover anymore, you will kill him."

"So?" Jamie snapped behind her. "Let him die."

"No!" Mikan cried painfully, "No one else is dying because of me! _No one!_" Tears pooled in her eyes as she turned to beg Jamie with them. "Nobody else will die because of my actions."

Hotaru froze in her tracks. "Nobody _else?_" she repeated to herself quietly, then flashed a confused glance at Natsume as if asking him if he knew anything.

Mikan ignored her and the thing holding David down burst into flames she created. "_Run,_" she hissed at him, "_Now!_"

Without giving it a second thought, he scrambled away quickly, barely avoiding the fist that Jamie swung at him.

Mikan turned instantly to Jade, panic-stricken. "Jade, I didn't…" she trailed off.

Jade wasn't listening.

She turned to Jamie, who was frozen, watching Jade worriedly.

And Jade's scream of terror ripped through the air suddenly, causing Mikan to flinch in pain as one of her best friends tore through the entrance, fear piercing her as she was forced to remember.

Jamie glanced at Mikan hesitantly before taking off after his sister, Arden and Claire at his heels.

Mikan slid to the ground slowly, watching after them blankly.

"_Jade repressed her memories,_" she recalled Jamie telling her, "_Sometimes if someone says a certain word, it triggers her memory, but soon after she forgets again. But when she _does_ remember… it's pretty bad._"

"_So what words should I try and avoid?_"

"…_Dad, mom, parents, rape, abuse… those kind of things._"

"_No problem there, those are painful words for me too._"

Mikan sighed. "I'm just going to hide in my room…" she looked up at Natsume and Hotaru. "Ja ne…" she teleported herself back into her room in the Labyrinth Mansion and curled up on her bed unhappily and drifting into a disturbed, memory filled sleep.


	17. Issues

"_I think… I'm ready."_

_Mikan looked at Jamie curiously. "Ready…? To admit that you like Claire?"_

_He scowled at her. "No. I mean my past. I'm ready to share it."_

_Mikan jumped to her feet, eyes wide. "Really? Finally!" she ushered Jamie to sit on her bed then joined him, watching him anxiously._

_He looked around awkwardly, trying to find the words to start. "Uh, I guess it starts when me and Jade were about eight years old. It was just awhile after my older brother died in a car accident, and our father started drinking…_

"_It wasn't very much at first. It didn't bother us much; we didn't talk to him much anyway. But one day after about half a year, he hit our mother. We all kind of forget it after time, or at least tried to; we never really went anywhere near him besides when we ate dinner together._

"_By the time we were nine, it had happened on multiple occasions, but our mother didn't want to contact the police about it, and me and Jade were to young and scared. But… it got worse. He hit me and Jade to. We drowned him out of our lives besides when we _had_ to see him._

"_I guess our mom couldn't take it anymore, because one day she disappeared. Just… fled. We never saw her again, and I haven't heard anything, so I guess she might still be alive, but she's not really the problem of this story – though I imagine if she hadn't ditched us, we would've been safer._

"_Anyway, our father was furious and depressed. To put it quite simply, it was messy. He would bring random girls home from time to time, and about a month later…" he paused, swallowing painfully. "Jade started… _developing._ And he noticed. God, did he notice. And… I think you can figure out what happened with him and her from there. I hope you can, anyway, because I can't really describe what happened._

"_That was the last straw. I went to the police and told them what had been happening in our household. My dad was sent to jail and me and Jade," he looked around her room, "We were sent here once they found out we had alice's."_

_He waited patiently for her to digest this._

"_But… Jade's so happy-go-lucky…" she muttered at last, shaking her head._

"_Jade repressed her memories," Jamie explained, "Sometimes if someone says a certain word, it triggers her memory, but soon after she forgets again. But when she _does_ remember… it's pretty bad."_

"_So what words should I avoid?"_

"…_Dad, mom, parents, rape, abuse… those kind of things."_

"_No problem there, those are painful words for me too."_

_Jamie nodded. "You can't tell anyone. The only people that know are Arden and Claire because they've seen her break down."_

_Mikan remained silent and Jamie stood up. "I'll let you mull this over for awhile." He walked to her door, turning back to her, waiting for her to reply._

_She blinked up at him blankly. "Jamie," she said quietly. "I'm sorry that happened to you."_

"_No pity, Mikan. That's _your_ rule."_

_She mentally cursed herself, looking down. "But thank you." She said, looking back up at him. "For sharing, I mean. It takes a lot of guts to do it, and I'm really happy you did." She smiled widely at him and he looked away, blushing lightly - normal behavior for anyone that saw her very rare smile. It was that or run away in terror._

"_W-whatever." He scoffed. "Go to sleep, idiot." He walked quickly out of her room, and Mikan laughed quietly to herself, despite what he had just told her._

* * *

><p>Mikan blinked awake slowly, frowning at her memories.<p>

"You know," Natsume started beside her, and she jumped up so quickly she fell off her bed. He looked down at her. "It's really irking when you say someone else's name in your sleep then smile."

She leaned against the floor, moaning in annoyance, "What are you _doing_ here?"

"Watching you sleep." He replied simply with a shrug as though it was completely normal.

"Gee, well, that's not creepy." Mikan grumbled, sitting up and glaring at him.

"I agree."

She rolled her eyes and glanced at her clock. "Eight? So, I slept the whole day?" she paused and looked back at Natsume. "How long have you been watching me?" she continued without waiting for his answer, "You know what, never mind. I don't want to know. It could be disturbing."

"Pretty much since I got here about an hour after your freak out. So about ten-eleven hours." He explained anyway.

"Not creepy at all." Mikan repeated dryly. "I was planning on taking a shower tonight, you know."

"That's alright, I'll join you."

"Ha-ha-ha." Mikan snapped, getting to her feet finally and sitting on the bed beside Natsume. "Hysterical, really. No." she glared at him. "Holy shit I never got Yuuki!"

Before she could start freaking out any more than she already was, Natsume pointed to the corner of her room where Yuuki was sleeping on a pile of laundry.

"…Okay, so you picked her up and told her to sleep on my dirty clothes? How parental."

He rolled his eyes. "Says the one who didn't even pick her up. And she curled up in it by herself."

"Hey! I didn't forget her. I fell asleep." She slid off the bed lazily and crawled over to her daughter, shaking her awake. "The flying ninjas are coming!" she cried and Yuuki was on her feet instantly. "Wow, Mitsuki and you have _way_ to much in common."

Yuuki glared at her when she found out, like Mitsuki, that there was not in fact any flying ninja's.

"Anyway, I'm taking you to bed. No sleeping on laundry."

Yuuki's eyes flicked to Natsume then back to her. "Boys and girls aren't supposed to be alone in a room together." She recited with a frown.

"Oh, shut up." Mikan shoved her towards her door. "Bed."

"Sinner!" Yuuki cried, sticking her tongue out and running to her room.

Mikan rolled her eyes and turned back to Natsume, who quirked an eyebrow. "I read a lot of books. And tend to mutter out loud. She picks up things."

He waited before replying, "So, up for that shower now?"

She responded by throwing the closest thing at him – Rapunzel.

He caught it easily then examined it curiously. "You still have this?" he asked, surprised as he saw the little card with his name attached to it.

Mikan shrugged. "Kuonji didn't do anything with this room after he took me away so the fairytales were left to collect dust."

He started flipping through the pages and Mikan reached forward to grab it as he arrived at the back where she had written the note.

"Oh, and what's this?" he smirked, signaling that he had already read some of it. "_Natsume, I love you… I may not have anything to give you as a Christmas present but… all I have… they overflow inside of me, unstoppable… These feelings I have only for you… From now until forever, more than anyone else… I will love you Natsume._" She buried her face in her hands in embarrassment. "When'd you write that?"

She proceeded to hide under her bed.

"That's a horrible hiding place." He stated bluntly, looking under her bed at her.

"Nuh-uh!" she protested, "There's enough dust under here for me to blind someone."

"Even yourself?"

"Well, yes, I suppose there's that disadvantage."

He reached under the bed and wrapped his hand around her stomach, pulling her out so fast she squeaked in surprise.

A cloud of dust emerged with her, and she sneezed loudly, then glared at Natsume, who was sitting as stoic as ever, as if the dust didn't affect him.

"Okay, so you're _trying_ to blind me?" she sneezed again. He didn't reply. "Hey, did you see Jamie and Jade…?" she let her voice trail off uncomfortably.

He shook his head and Mikan looked down in disappointment.

"I see…" she sighed through her nose and climbed onto her bed, flopping on it unhappily. "Some visit the others got…"

The bed sunk slightly as Natsume sat beside her. "What happened earlier, anyway?"

"Jade's memories came back. She's probably forgotten again already, but it's really scary seeing her remember…" She sighed into her pillow, pressing it against her face so it was hard to breath.

Natsume tried to tug the pillow away from her and she clung to it tighter, letting out a muffled hiss. "You're supposed to put the pillow _under_ your head, not on top." Natsume said, successfully tugging it away from her this time.

She let out a whine and reached for her other pillow, scowling when Natsume took it to, placing both on the opposite side of bed and laying his head back on them, smirking at her annoyed expression.

"You leave me no choice," Mikan started dramatically, "Either I use _you_ as a pillow, or I steal them back…" She paused thoughtfully then shoved him off her bed, unfortunately causing her pillows to fall too. "No! Not the pillows!"

She reached down to grab one and Natsume shoved it across the room, sitting on top of the other one. She lunged towards the one he pushed away and held it threateningly. "You better give me that pillow, Natsume. I'm armed."

He stood up, gripping the other pillow. "Well then, it seems I am too."

She narrowed her eyes and smacked him with the pillow.

He blinked in amusement then swung back at her.

She ducked away with a squeak, blindly waved her pillow in his direction then scurried to the other side of the room.

"This is your last chance to give up," Mikan warned, "Give me the pillow, and this will end peacefully."

In reply he smacked her in the face with the pillow.

"That wasn't nice. You need to be taught a lesson." Mikan growled, leaping forward and catching the back of his head with her pillow, then jumping back before he could attack her.

They glared at each other then Natsume dropped his pillow in front of him.

Mikan stared at him suspiciously. "You dropped the pillow." She said the obvious.

"You can have the stupid pillow." He stated uncaringly, kicking it forward slightly.

She took a tentative step forward and reached down to pick it up when Natsume's arms seized her waist and he picked her up.

She squealed in shock as he started to spin around and clutched his shirt desperately. "Natsume! Put me down!"

He stopped spinning and Mikan blinked dizzily. "Do I get the pillows?" he challenged.

She didn't reply instantly and he started spinning her again. "Okay, okay! You can have the pillows!" she cried, clinging to his shirt fearfully.

He stopped spinning her and tossed her onto her bed. "Good. You were getting heavy," he insulted.

"That's just because you're weak." Mikan mocked and Natsume reached for a pillow. She kicked it away from him and slid over to the door.

"…Oh, hey, Demon… how long have you been there, just out of curiosity?" Mikan greeted Damien, who was standing by the door, awkwardly.

He smirked. "Long enough. I was hoping you'd help me escape again, but I didn't want to interrupt." He kicked the pillow by his feet and it slid under her bed.

"Now look what you've done," Mikan complained, "Now it's all gross and dusty and that was _my_ war pillow. Now I don't have one and Natsume does, and I'll have to use _him_ as a pillow! You've helped him win. You're on the enemies side." She sighed, getting to her feet dizzily. "Fine then, come, I'll drop you- I mean float you to the ground."

"That sounds trustworthy." Damien grumbled, walking out to her balcony.

She let him to the ground impatiently. "I guess tomorrow I'll find you in some random girls room?"

"Probably not. If I come back early I presume you'll be cuddling with your lover-boy?" he fired back then disappeared into the darkness.

Mikan mentally cursed when she realized he was right.

She huffed and turned back into her room, glaring at Natsume, who was lying against the usable pillow, hands behind his head. "So what am _I_ using as a pillow?" Mikan demanded angrily.

He smirked, shifting on her bed to make room for her and she climbed in beside him, pouting. She sighed through her nose and placed her head on Natsume's chest. "You're not a comfy pillow." She complained but curled up closer to him.

"Close your eyes." Natsume said suddenly, sitting up slightly.

Mikan followed his actions, sitting up slightly and closed her eyes obediently. "You better not molest me."

"I wasn't planning on it," he retorted. There was a small clicking noise. "Open."

"Sesame." Mikan added, opening her eyes. Natsume was holding his alice stone in front of her face, the chain attached to it around her neck. He let go of it and it dangled heavily. "…How do you do that?" Mikan asked him blankly, tilting her head back to stare at his face.

"Do what?"

"One minute ago if you dared try to molest me I would've killed you." Mikan started bluntly, "But if you did now, I'd probably go along with it. How the hell can you make me go from wanting to smack you to lusting over you – again?"

He smirked at her revelation, "I have that effect on people."

"Annnd, now were back to the hitting." Mikan concluded.

They were silent.

_Zzzt_

Mikan sighed, reaching over to her bedside table to grab her cell phone.

'_Jade's good, thanks for asking – Jamie._'

She scowled at the message then called Arden's number.

"_Hello, Mikan, you want to speak to Jamie I'm assuming?_" Arden asked, a hint of amusement in his voice.

"Yes, thank you." She waited.

"_Did you get my message?_" Jamie asked, knowing very well she did.

"You're an ass." Mikan stated then hung up, turning her phone off. She tossed it across the room onto the pile of dirty clothes Yuuki had been sleeping on.

"You get along so well." Natsume quipped.

"Yes, just damn great." Mikan snorted, "I'm going to sleep." She jumped to her feet and turned the light out, returning to her bed half-blind. "Do I get my pillow yet?"

He didn't reply, simply stared at her, smirking.

She shifted his arm so it was stretched out across the bed and she tucked her head under his chin, fidgeting until she was comfortable. "I lied." She stated, "You are a comfy pillow."

He was silent for a moment. "You're an idiot." He decided, arms snaking around her.

"I know. I'm over it." She didn't continue and he didn't reply, so she lay awake, not tired from just sleeping a whole day away.

What must have been an hour later, she whispered, "Natsume? Are you awake?"

"I'm asleep." Came the grumbled reply.

"Okay, that's fine, I wasn't sure if I wanted to share my past with you, anyway. Good night." Mikan shrugged.

Natsume sat up abruptly and she nabbed the pillow. He took it back, watching her. "Do you _want_ to tell me?" he asked, unable to keep the hopefulness from his voice.

"Yes. No. I don't know! Don't ask me such complicated questions."

"…I didn't think it was a complicated question."

"Well… now you know…" Mikan said, "You didn't seem to care before if I was comfortable."

He glared at her in annoyance. "So are you going to tell me or not?"

"Give me a minute…" she paused thoughtfully. "Well, what do you know, I'm not."

"Polka," he complained. Natsume complained. She held back laughter.

"Mikan." She corrected uselessly; they both knew she would always be _Polka-dots_ in his eyes.

"No. Polka." He insisted. "You have to tell me."

"No I don't."

"Yes you do. You owe me."

"No I don't." Mikan repeated. "What do I owe you for?"

He shrugged. "I'll find something. In the mean time, tell me."

"I'm starting to regret talking…"

"Your problem, not mine." He paused and she didn't reply. "This is step three in proving that you love me."

"What's step four?"

He looked thoughtful for a moment before deciding with a smirk, "I'd say giving me your virginity-" she smacked him. "-but you've lost it."

She smacked him again. "Okay, I get it, you pervert. We're only fifteen! God…"

"So? Are you going to tell me or not?"

She bit her lip nervously, then sighed, "Where do you want me to begin?"

* * *

><p><strong>And there you go, my humungous update. Enjoy it, I am now going to start on the next chapter. I hope all of these chapters make up for my absence, but my mom has limited my time on the computer, so… not really a choice.<strong>

**^_^ I've got a few ideas for some more fanfictions, so when this is over, please keep watch! **


	18. Where You Are

**Sorry for the late updates. Been sorta busy, but I'm trying!**

**Mitsume4eva: Yuuki is about three and two months old I think. Something like that anyway.**

Mikan woke up with her arms around Natsume's neck.

Which was weird when she remembered falling asleep curled in the fetal position against his chest.

And now she had to decide what to do: Get up and start getting ready for school and sending her friends off, or being cozy with Natsume.

No contest really.

But she slid away from Natsume slowly, making sure not to wake him up, then tiptoed to her closet, taking out a uniform and changed quickly, glancing at him from time to time to make sure he wouldn't wake up. Not that it mattered a lot since he had gotten so many looks at her over the years anyway, but he would mock her and she could live without that.

'_Now what?_' she thought when she finished. She could watch Natsume sleep, because according to him it isn't creepy; she could read; she could look into his dreams; she could go back to sleep.

She looked around her room thoughtfully, eyes brightening when they landed on her bedside table, where she had put Arden's version of a baka-gun. She grinned and grabbed it quietly, then crawled back into the bed beside the still sleeping Natsume.

She leaned so there faces were almost touching, hiding her evil grin. "Natsume," she whispered, poking his cheek with one hand and using the other to hide the punching-machine behind her back.

His eyes blinked open, then shut again quickly and Mikan scowled. Then, before she could start complaining, he draped an arm across her and pulled her closer to him so their lips touched.

While she was distracted, he quickly grabbed the gun, pulling away from her and sitting up with a smirk. "How mature, trying to attack someone in their sleep."

She twiddled her fingers guiltily. "How'd you know what I was planning?"

"I'm gifted," he taunted, sticking his tongue out at her.

"Yes, I'm sure you are, but seriously, how'd you know?"

"I was awake before you." He smirked.

"Wait… what? But I- oh shit."

"Polka-dotted panties _still?_" He looked thoroughly amused.

Her face flamed; her eyes narrowed; she took a deep breath and: "NAT-SU-MEEEEE!" she lunged at him in an attempted attack and he held her away easily. If she wanted to however, she probably could've beaten him in seconds. Her alter egos name / occasional mission name wasn't Angel of Death for nothing. "Ugh! You're such a pervert! Why do you only do this to me? Ugh!" she felt some of her old Mikan kick in as she let out an embarrassed wail, "Now I can never get married!"

He waited casually for her to stop ranting, holding her away with one hand and examining the gun with the other. "It doesn't matter if I saw you since you're going to marry me anyway." He drawled when she quieted.

She let out a loud sigh, then grabbed the gun out of his hand and shot him in the face before he could react. She laughed loudly, "The look on your face!" she doubled-over, still half-hysterical.

He looked torn between being happy that she was laughing so freely and smacking her in the face to wipe the smug look away. "Whatever," he said coolly.

She continued to laugh, only harder when he leaned back against the pillow sulkily. Finally when she calmed down, she sat back up, grinning like the Cheshire cat. "What, that's it? Your just gonna sulk? Psh."

He glowered at her for a moment, then pushed her back against the bed, smirking as he pinned her down again. "No," he growled out slowly, "Now it's time for your punishment."

Punishment? Uh-oh.

She had a feeling her friends would have to wait a while longer for her to arrive as Natsume's lips crashed onto hers.

* * *

><p>"Good morning, people." Mikan greeted chirpily, dragging an annoyed Natsume along with her.<p>

Claire gave her a look, first annoyed, then amused as she noticed Mikan's companion. "I'd complain that you're late, but Damien said you'd be… _busy_ this morning."

Mikan's eyes narrowed in annoyance.

Damien smirked at her, "Well, I was right, wasn't I?"

She ignored the question, "I thought you were staying until Thursday, why are you here?"

He shrugged. "Just to say farewell to these three," he said, pointing to Claire, Arden and Mitsuki.

"Don't let me leave!" Mitsuki wailed sadly, "Make me stay! I don't have anything in America anyway!"

"You have your brother, Hiroto-kun," Mikan pointed out.

"_Him?_ He couldn't care less!" she clung to Mikan's leg possessively.

"Woah, there, you're scaring me." Mikan snapped lightly, shaking Mitsuki off her leg. "You can stay until Thursday, you know."

She looked up hopefully, "Really? Yay!"

Mikan rolled her eyes as her friend started dancing enthusiastically, turning to Claire and Arden. "You guys could stay longer too, you know…" she offered weakly.

Claire smiled sadly, eyes flickering over to Jamie and Jade, who were shuffling around awkwardly a little ways away, quickly. "We'd like too, but unlike Mitsuki, we care about our grades."

Arden let out a loud sigh and nodded in unhappy agreement.

"My parents spoil me, but they care about my grades," Claire said quietly. Her parents were rich, so they easily spoiled her, even while she was in Alice Academy.

Mikan sighed. "So when do you leave?"

Arden glanced at his watch then back up at her. "In about half-an-hour…"

"I'm being so cruel," Mikan cried unhappily, "Keeping Jamie and Jade here instead of with you! Take them with you!"

"You know we can't do that," Arden paused, "I mean we would," he added and Mikan glared at him. "But they wouldn't come."

"Damn them and their loyalty to me…" Mikan grumbled, sending the twins a sidelong glare.

"I heard that!" Jamie called. "And saw that glare!"

"Good!" Mikan retorted loudly. She turned her attention back to Arden and Claire, ignoring the still dancing Mitsuki. "Jade fall back into repression?"

Claire and Arden shared a glance and nodded.

"…Okay, ask away, I know you want to." Mikan said dryly.

They both remained silent, waiting for the other to start, before Arden finally cleared his throat, "Well, uh, I guess the first question that pops to mind is: Why the hell did you not tell us you were raped, and by _David_ of all the people?"

"…It wasn't relevant?" Mikan answered sheepishly.

"Uh, yes, it was. Did Jamie know?"

"About the rape, yes. About David… not until just a few days ago…"

"And you," Claire said suddenly, looking at Natsume suspiciously, "What do _you_ know about Mikan and her mysterious ways?"

Mikan looked amused at her choice of words.

"Probably pretty close to, if not, everything." He answered bluntly.

"You haven't told _us_ everything…" Claire mumbled unhappily.

"It's nasty." Mikan deadpanned and Natsume nodded. "I think you can live without it…"

She glared sulkily but didn't press it.

Mikan twiddled her fingers. "I'll tell you one day," she bit the inside of her mouth uncomfortably. "I promise… but today isn't that day…"

Arden petted her head and she ducked away with another catlike hiss. "If you don't tell us, we'll come after you." He vowed.

She gave him a look, "Mm-hmm." She looked off into the distance where a limo was approaching. "No!" she jumped away from Natsume and into Arden's arms. "Stay! Please!"

Arms wrapped around her from behind and pulled her away and she bit Jamie's arm in attempt to make him let her go. He ignored the bite, holding her like she didn't weigh anymore than a feather.

"Mikan, honestly, have some dignity." He said, rolling his eyes at her.

Arden laughed and Claire gave her a look.

The limo stopped in front of them and he dropped Mikan and was instantly clinging to Claire. "Noooo!"

Mikan stood up and brushed herself off, giving him an angry look. "Dignity my ass."

"Hey, I said _you_ should have some dignity; I've never had any."

"…Touché…?"

The extremely red Claire shoved Jamie away from her almost hesitantly, coughing awkwardly. "Let go, you hormonal boy!" She spat, wrinkling her nose with fake distaste.

He let out a whine and wrapped his arms around her legs, splayed out across the ground.

"God, Jamie, get a hold of yourself before I stomp on your family jewels." Mikan snapped impatiently.

Arden's eye twitched at her threat and Jamie got to his feet quickly, knowing she was serious.

"Okay! No need to threaten the manhood!" he backed away from her a couple of steps.

"Yes, well," Mikan continued, ignoring him, "Let's try to make this a not-very-emotional farewell."

Jade burst into tears.

"So much for that." Mikan grumbled as her friend leapt into Arden's arms.

Mikan gave Claire a quick hug and smirked as Arden awkwardly tried to pry Jade off of him.

"Before we leave," Claire started, "There's something I want to know." She turned to Mikan, suspicious, "Are you and Natsume dating again or am I going to have to hurt you?"

"We were never really dating in the first place," Mikan said, "We just kinda… got engaged."

"You know what I mean!"

"Well, no, we're not dating." Mikan stated, eyes flicking briefly to Natsume, who looked like he wanted to smack her. "However," she began again before he could, "We are engaged again."

Claire smirked in satisfaction and Natsume's murderous look melted into a soft look, which he quickly hid.

"Knew it." Damien said in a singsong voice, smirking at her.

She stepped on his foot swiftly then helped Jamie pull Jade away from Arden. "C'mon Jade, if you don't let go of Arden I'll have to stomp on _his_ family jewels."

Arden squealed like a little girl and Jade let him go with a snicker.

The limo driver honked impatiently.

Claire frowned in annoyance, but sighed and hugged Mikan again quickly, then Jade, and kissed Jamie on the cheek, then hopped into the limo to hide her sadness.

Arden looked at his feet, sighing loudly, then hugged her quickly, clung to Jade momentarily, then looked at Jamie with a completely straight face and said, "Goodbye, babe." He followed Claire's example and got into the limo before anyone could react.

Jamie cursed him loudly as the limo drove away and Jade watched sadly. Mitsuki continued to dance and Mikan waved after them.

"No teary-eyes!" Mikan proclaimed, "Let me think of something cheery…" she paused thoughtfully. "Well, I got nothing for you guys, but I have a way to make me feel better." She turned to Natsume. "Race to the classroom, no rules, you get a head-start."

His eyes narrowed and he gave a slight nod but didn't start moving.

"Well, miss your chance then." She walked away from the group and let out a long whistle, staring into the sky.

"Oh shit." Jamie swore. "Duck and cover!" he ducked to the ground, pulling Jade down with him and Mitsuki ducked as well, leaving only Natsume and her standing.

A shadow flew over them and stirred the wind, making Natsume cringe.

Mikan smirked as the shadow grew closer and larger until a huge raven was almost on top of her.

Natsume finally seemed to understand why the others ducked and crouched to the ground.

Just as it was about to crash into her, the raven's form morphed into a black panther. It landed at her feet with a loud yowl, and Natsume's eyes widened in shock.

"Anya," Mikan greeted the panther, hand going to the top of its head. "Where have you been hiding?"

The others got back to their feet and Mitsuki stroked the feline's pelt as though this was completely normal.

"I said any rules go," Mikan said with a smug smirk. She mounted the panther. "See you at the classroom."

And with that, Anya took off in the direction of her homeroom class, Mikan letting out a triumphant laugh on her back.

Natsume muttered something along the lines of, "What just happened?"

The trees blurred past her quickly and in moments she was in front of the high school, Natsume and the trio far behind her. She smirked and hopped off of Anya, and the panther changed back into a raven, perching on her shoulder. She trailed her finger along it's wing quickly before hurrying into the building, stopping momentarily at the music room and grabbing an acoustic guitar.

She grinned as she entered the empty classroom, pleased to be the first to arrive, half-an-hour early.

She plopped on top of the desk that she shared with Natsume and Ruka, and Anya hopped off of her, returning to her panther form and stalking over to the window, tail swooshing.

Mikan smirked, shaking her head in amusement and made herself comfortable on top of the desk, twisting slightly so the guitar was resting on her lap.

"_You're the direction I follow to get home  
>When I feel like I can't go on, you tell me to go<br>And it's like I can't feel a thing without you around  
>And don't mind me if I get weak in the knees<br>'Cause you have that effect on me, you do,_"

She sung quietly to herself, smirking as she tried to imagine Natsume's face if he heard this and knew it was based off him.

Anya's attention turned to her, ears twitching, blinking lazily as she listened to Mikan sing.

"_Everything you say  
>Every time we kiss, I can't think straight<br>But I'm okay  
>And I can't think of anybody else<br>Who I hate to miss as much as I hate missing you,  
>Months going strong now, and no goodbye<br>Unconditional, unoriginal  
>Always by my side<br>Meant to be together  
>Meant for no one but each other<br>You love me, I love you harder so,_"

She heard the door slide open quietly but ignored it, assuming that Natsume had finally caught up with her.

Anya let out a low growl, signaling that she was right. Nobody besides Natsume, Jamie, Jade or Mitsuki would come to the classroom this early, and she wouldn't snarl at any of them besides for Natsume.

"_Everything you say  
>Every time we kiss, I can't think straight<br>But I'm okay  
>And I can't think of anybody else<br>Who I hate to miss as much as I hate missing you,  
>So please, give me a hint<br>So please, give me a lesson on how to steal, steal a heart  
>As fast as you stole mine, as you stole mine, yeah,<em>"

She cracked one of her eyes opened slightly and peered out at Natsume as he sat in his respectful seat, a small smirk playing his lips as he listened to her singing, knowing it was about him.

…Damn him and his always being right…

"_Oh and everything you say  
>Every time we kiss, I can't think straight<br>But I'm okay  
>And I can't think of anybody else<br>Who I hate to miss as much as I hate missing you,  
>So please, give me hint<br>So please, just take my hand…_"

There was a moment of silence before Mikan snapped, "Wipe that smirk off your face!" without opening her eyes.

"I'm not smirking." He denied, though he obviously was from the tone of voice he was using.

"Don't lie to me, I know you well enough to know when you're smirking." She opened her eyes, and he was indeed smirking. "See? Now what was the point of saying you weren't?" she paused, examining him. "You went and got changed into a uniform? No wonder you took so long."

He rolled his eyes at her then, in a very annoyed tone, asked, "What, don't look _smexy_ enough in a tie for you?"

She swallowed back laughter (The fake-word smexy coming from Natsume's mouth was extremely humorous), remembering what she had said to Jamie. "Nope," he scowled at her as she slid off the desk into his lap. "You look_ too_ smexy in a tie. Go change," she ordered, tangling her fingers in the tie and pulling his head towards hers so their lips met for the umpteenth time.

"Miss kissing me, Polka-dots?" he teased against her lips.

She pulled away from him before replying, "Well, if _you_ didn't miss kissing me I could always just find someone else to kiss me," she hid her evil smirk and started standing. "I'm sure Damien would happily d-"

He pulled her back down quickly, and she landed back on his lap, grinning up at him.

"Don't. Even. Think. About. It." He snarled warningly.

Her grin widened and she messed up his already messy hair. "Jealous, Natsume?"

"Don't make me kill you." He growled in annoyance, turning away from her.

"You wouldn't do that," she said, wrapping her arms around his neck. "You just got me back, after all!"

He sighed at her relentlessness, not turning back to look at her.

"You look like an adult, but I _swear_ you're actually a three year old." He still didn't turn and Mikan blinked in amusement.

Seven minutes passed.

"It's because you're so stubborn that I think that way." She added, still amused. Nothing. "I like pickles." Nothing. Was he even listening? "Damien's a better kisser than you." Nothing. Apparently he was not. "Lava lamps are the bomb. If you combine our names, you get Natsumikan. I'm going to smash this guitar over your head. Or sic Anya on you. I secretly hate you and am just tricking you into loving me so I can hurt you at a later date. I lied about being raped, I actually willing allowed David to have sex with me because I wanted babies. I'm dying." Nothing. She had been expecting one of the lies (Hating him, Damien being a better kisser, actually wanting babies, etc…) to catch his attention. "…Naked bodies."

His attention finally seemed to be regained, but he still didn't turn to her, so she continued on with her rambling lies.

"Ponies are delicious. I'm going to hell. The egg came before the chicken. I'm a drug addict. My favorite hobby is having a secret relationship with Jamie behind your back. And behind Jamie's back I'm having a relationship with Damien." By now his attention was definitely on her, but he still refused to turn to her. "We have had sex on multiple occasions. When I said I loved you years ago, I was lying," his head snapped around to look at her, but she pretended to not notice, closing her eyes before he could see that they were open. "I was actually in love with Ruka-pyon and had been waiting for him to ask me out for months, but I didn't want to hurt your feelings so I went along with it because Ruka wanted me too." She opened her eyes again.

Natsume was glaring out the window, watching as random things caught on fire, his jaw tightened, and fists clenched at his sides, a pained grimace on his face.

Maybe she had went to far.

And by maybe, she meant: Oh shit, he's going to hate me.

She suddenly realized that her arms were still around his neck. She could use that to her advantage. She leaned into his chest, ignoring that he flinched unhappily. "Ne, Natsume?"

No reply.

She kissed his cheek and he twitched away from her as best he could with her still sitting on his lap. "Ah-ha! I knew it! You came out of La-La-Land when I said naked bodies, didn't you? It always works."

He turned and gave her an infuriated look.

"So? That was when you started paying attention was it? Or were you listening to the lies the whole time?"

"You- you were lying that whole time?" he sputtered out, looking half-relieved, half-furious.

"_No,_" she said sarcastically, rolling her eyes, "I'm completely serious; I'm just that much of a bitch."

He smacked her roughly over the head.

"Hey, it's your fault for not listening." Mikan defended in annoyance, unwinding her arms from around his neck and rubbing her head. "God, do you know how many topics I went through? Pickles, Damien, kissing, lava-lamps, Natsumikans, hurting you, hating you, tricking you, lying to you, lying in general, rape, sex, babies, death… and all it took was naked bodies! Gosh, you _are_ a pervert…"

He stared at her for a quiet moment. "If you _ever_ joke around like that again I'm breaking off our engagement." He threatened shakily.

She wrapped her arms around him again, burying her face in his shirt. "I didn't mean to worry you, Natsume, I was just teasing you." He didn't reply, so she continued with, "Would it make you feel better if I said that I _did_ miss kissing you?" to prove her point, she leaned in and kissed him again.

Footsteps sounded outside the door and Mikan pulled away from Natsume and slid off his lap. She couldn't care less if it was just a random classmate that walked in on her show of affection for Natsume, but she was pretty sure that who was coming down the hall was-

"So, what are you two doing?"

Jamie.

"Aw, you're not doing anything? I can't interrupt if you're not doing anything! What a waste. I'm going to the music room…" and just as abruptly as he arrived, he left.

They stared at the door for a minute before Mikan broke into laughter.

Natsume gave her a weird look.

"Jamie's such a weirdo." She said as an explanation. When her laughter ceased, she turned and grinned at him, "Are you still angry with me?"

He turned away again.

She leaned towards him. "Don't worry," she whispered seductively in his ear, "I wouldn't have sex willingly with anyone but _you._" She laughed again when his face reddened.

Anya snarled from across the room.

Mikan turned and smiled at the animal. "Oh, shush, Anya. She doesn't like me getting extremely close with people body-wise," she added to Natsume.

He looked awkwardly at Anya. "What is she anyway?"

"A raven."

"She looks like a panther."

"No shit, Sherlock." She rolled her eyes. "I found an injured raven a couple of years ago and healed gave it the healing alice. Or at least I thought I did; turns out I gave it the power to transform." She shrugged. "Either way, she lived and is now my faithful follower." She paused thoughtfully. "And mind-reading. Maybe she was snarling at your thoughts." She smirked at him, "What were you thinking about Natsume-_kun?_"

His blush returned and he turned away from her to hide it.

She laughed again. "Perverted thoughts, hmm? Well considering what I just said I guess that's reasonable."

"_Ew!_" A voice near the door exclaimed, and they both turned to the door again to see a disturbed Koko. "Natsume, man, that's just _wrong!_"

She burst into laughter again. "I knew it! I knew you were thinking perverted thoughts!"

"_You're_ the one that said you'd willingly have sex with me!" He accused with furious embarrassment. "It's _your_ fault!"

"Psh, have some mind-control, pervert. Just because I said it doesn't mean you have to think it, moronic pervert."

"Cow."

"Fox."

"Flirt."

"I'm still here!" Koko exclaimed from the doorway.

"But it was my turn!" Mikan whined unhappily, then added quickly, "Cad!"

Natsume glared at her. "Seductress."

Oh no he didn't.

"Seducer!"

"Uh, hello! Still disturbed out of my mind-reading mind here!"

"Idiot."

"Asshole!"

"Birdbrain."

"Bastard!"

"Retard."

"Ugh, I'm going to drown myself in the bathroom…"

"Have fun! Coccydynia."

"Getting fancy? Ninnyhammer."

"Hircismus."

"Helminth."

Koko sighed, having no idea what those fancy words meant, and the door shut.

Mikan instantly started laughing again and Natsume cracked a small smile. "I think we scared him." She coughed, then smiled wickedly, pressing her lips against his ear and added, "It's a good thing he didn't come in _earlier_, huh? Hmm, maybe I _am_ a seductress…" She leaned away then smirked at the look on his face. "You look like a tomato."

He gave her a look that implied she should shut up.

She stood up and stretched, humming a tune to herself, and Anya hissed at her sudden movement. "Hush, Anya," she quieted, losing track of where she was in the song she was humming.

She sighed and sung out quietly,

"_It's hard to find love  
>That's not complicated<br>It's hard to see life  
>When we all seem so jaded<br>I don't know, you don't know  
>Why can't I find a way to show you now,<br>It's hard for me to smile  
>When I get so frustrated<br>The walls to your heart  
>They're locked and they're gated<br>I don't know, you don't know  
>I wanna find a place to go where you are,<br>I've been up, I've been down  
>You know my smile, you know my frown<br>I just love when you're around  
>I wanna be<br>I wanna be  
>I wanna be<br>Where you are,_"

She pulled the unwilling Natsume to his feet, and he rolled his eyes at her silently.

"Dance with me, Natsume," she offered temptingly.

"No." he denied bluntly.

"Yes." She replied quickly.

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Don't make this harder than it has to be - we both know I'll win."

He glared at her.

"I could just force you, you know. I've got multiple alice's that could help with this situation. So you can cooperate and enjoy, or I can make you and you can not enjoy."

They glared at each other, then Natsume sighed, and Mikan smirked in triumph when he obediently put his hands around her waist.

"_I'm walking around  
>And I don't hear a sound<br>Except for the memory of a love that I found  
>I wanna see what you see<br>Do you know what we could be,  
>Even in the dark<br>I'll take your hand  
>I see down this road<br>That ends where you stand  
>I will know, you will know<br>You've given a place to go  
>Where you are,<br>I've been up, I've been down  
>You know my smile, you know my frown<br>I just love when you're around  
>I wanna be<br>I wanna be  
>I wanna be<br>Where you are,_"

Anya let out a light growl when she decided that Natsume's body got to close to Mikan's, and he glared at the feline, not moving his body away from hers, instead bringing her closer to him.

She fought away a blush at the closeness of their faces (She couldn't care less if she was the one who made the first move, but when Natsume did, she found herself getting embarrassed.)

He smirked. "Yes, _I'm_ the tomato." He drawled, noticing her red cheeks.

"Shut. Up."

"_I'll give you my thoughts that I've held for so long  
>Scared to let go<br>What if I'm wrong  
>I sit here tonight<br>I don't care if I'm right  
>I just wanna be where you are,<em>"

She noticed the door opened slightly out of the corner of her eye, and Ruka and Hotaru were peering in with amazement. Probably because two of the coldest people in school were dancing together. And smiling. (Wasn't it against the laws of nature for Natsume to smile so much?)

And their faces were still dangerously close together, she noted. "We're being watched." She whispered so just he would hear her.

"So?"

"It's Hotaru. She's seeing you _smile_. Natsume Hyuuga doesn't smile. That's against the laws of… everything."

"And Polka-dots doesn't seduce people, because that's against the laws of everything, too."

"Things change."

"Exactly." He closed the gap between their lips, and Mikan felt her face explode in color. Again.

There were two muffled gasps at the door.

Natsume pulled away from her, ignoring the gasps, and smirked at her look. "Tomato indeed."

She huffed in embarrassment. "Shut up…"

"_I've been up, I've been down  
>You know my smile, you know my frown<br>I just love when you're around  
>I wanna be<br>I wanna be  
>I wanna be<br>Where you are,  
>I've been up, I've been down<br>You know my smile, you know my frown  
>I just love when you're around<br>I wanna be  
>I wanna be<br>I wanna be_

_I wanna be_

_I wanna be  
>Where you are<br>Where you are._"

Natsume instantly sat back down and Mikan rolled her eyes at him.

"See, now was that so hard?" she asked teasingly. "You can't deny it – you totally wanted to dance with me."

He ignored her.

She started away dramatically. "Well, if you won't admit it, I guess I could just go and dance with Dam-" He pulled her down and she landed back in his lap, grinning in amusement. "Well, isn't this familiar?"

"Let's not go through this again, Polka-dots." He snapped impatiently.

"Hmm… let's make a deal: I'll stop teasing you like that and you stop calling me what my panties look like."

"You're the one that changed in front of me… and actually wore polka-dotted panties."

Hotaru's eyes flashed dangerously and Ruka's mouth gaped, but they had yet to show themselves.

"_You're_ the one who pretended to be asleep so he could watch me change!"

The baka-gun was aimed at them, but she didn't shoot.

"It's not my fault you're to dense to notice when someone's asleep or not."

"Uh, sorry, but when I looked at you, you were _pretending_ to be asleep. Does that not scream pervert?"

"Says the one who said they'd willingly have sex with me."

The baka-gun was cocked.

"Says the one who can't take a joke," she retorted hotly. "Honestly, your perverted thoughts have probably scarred Koko for life… I wonder if he actually drowned himself in the toilet like he said he would…"

"He's a teenager, he's probably seen worse, Polka."

"He was mortified… what the hell were you thinking?" She paused. "And stop calling me Polka! I changed my underwear, perv."

She regretted saying that as soon as the smirk formed on his lips. "Really now?" before she could react, he flipped her skirt up. "Strawberry fields? Honestly?"

Twitch. Twitch. Twitch. "NAT-" his smirk widened, indicating that he knew this reaction was coming, "-SU-" Hotaru arm shot up, baka-gun ready to shoot, "-MEEEEE!"

At the same time Hotaru shot at them, Mikan tackled Natsume to the floor, shoving his face into it angrily. "You nasty, perverted, moronic fox! Eat floorboard!"

Hotaru shot again, this time towards her current place, and Anya, leapt forward and ripped the bullet to shreds.

"Anya," Mikan called calmly as she advanced on Hotaru, who was masking her fear. "Come over here and make yourself useful by sitting on Natsume's legs; I don't need him kicking me."

With one last dangerous snarl and tail lash, Anya stalked over to where she was still pinning down Natsume. She growled in his face then sat on his legs heavily.

Mikan repositioned herself so she was sitting cross-legged on his back.

"Oi." He snapped, struggling.

Anya hissed warningly.

"Apologize and I _might_ let you up."

"Never."

"Okay," she rocked up and down, shoving him deeper into the floor.

"Mikan," Hotaru started, walking into the classroom fully with Ruka.

Anya's tail flicked, but she remained on top of Natsume.

"I need answers from you._ Now._" She continued, ignoring the feline.

Anya head snapped forward as Hotaru approached and she nipped at the air in front of her feet.

"Anya!" Mikan spat. "Change! _Now!_"

Her form changed back into a raven who's claws dug into Natsume's leg, warning him that she could still easily rip him up.

Hotaru's eyes widened in shock and Ruka recoiled.

"Anya won't hurt you," she promised, "Not unless I tell her she can. And I won't," she added quickly.

Hotaru regained her stoic look and Ruka looked at the now-a-raven Anya in confusion.

"Anya is a raven with the transforming alice and mind-reading alice. So don't think anything bad –_Natsume_- and try not to annoy her –_Natsume_- or she'll turn into a panther and try to kill you – right, Natsume?"

"I hate you." Came the muffled reply.

She patted his head. "That's not what you told me earlier when you-"

"Shut it."

Hotaru and Ruka shared a glance.

"You two… did something happen between you two?" Ruka asked hesitantly, knowing very well that something did.

She placed a finger on her chin thoughtfully, moving her head from side to side. "I don't know. _Did_ something happen, Natsume?"

He struggled to move one of his hands and swatted at her awkwardly.

"That doesn't really answer the question, though it does look pathetically funny."

The warning bell rang and people slowly filed in, casting curious and amused glances down at where Mikan was still sitting on Natsume.

Jamie and Jade looked down at them longer then most, shared a glance, then sat at their seats, snickering.

Koko took one look at them, burst into laughter, winked, and sat with his signature goofy grin.

Narumi, the last to arrive, stared down at them from the front of the classroom, amusement sparking a smile on his face. "You two might be a bit of a distraction to the class."

Mikan shrugged. "To be blunt, all the girls gawk at Natsume anyway. And my reappearance has captured the attention of many."

"Can you two please take your seats anyway?"

She sighed when the last bell rang, and hopped to her feet, Natsume standing up a moment later and smacking his palm into her face in annoyance.

She rubbed her nose, sitting down after him and elbowing him in the stomach.

The class watched in amusement as they started smacking each other.

Anya, seemingly tired of them touching, turned back into a panther and roared threateningly at them, causing many to cry out.

"Anya!" Mikan snapped in annoyance, "Calm down! For God's sake, I know you don't like Natsume –a lot of the time I don't either-" he smacked her again, "but he'd be dead if I wanted him hurt!" she finished and hit him back.

Natsume gave the animal a smug look before whapping her again.

"Anyway," Narumi started from the front of the classroom, "onto the lesson… yes, that means the show is over, please look up here."

Slowly the students started looking back to the front of the classroom, and when the last one turned, Mikan stomped on Natsume's foot.

He countered by kicking her ankle.

She kicked back.

Kick.

Kick.

Stomp.

Kick.

"Mikan-chan, Natsume-kun, I'd appreciate it if you stopped playing footsy and paid attention." Narumi said, turning back to grin at them.

The class turned and stared at them again.

"There's a distinct difference between kicking and playing _footsy_." Mikan scoffed, embarrassed.

"Not with you two there isn't." he said simply before turning back to the lesson. "Just like love and hate; they mean the same thing between you two as well."

They both glared at the back of his head.

"…You're not denying anything…?"

Mikan felt her face burn in embarrassment and Natsume simply said, "Were we supposed to?"

At a loss for words, Narumi started teaching again.

_Riiing_

Everyone zoomed out of the classroom quickly except for Mikan, Jamie and Jade.

Even Natsume disappeared with the crowd.

Anya, irritated by the atmosphere, chirruped and hopped out the window.

"Well, something's up." Jamie said dryly.

Mikan nodded agreement and Jade got to her feet with a yawn, then smiled coyly at Mikan. "So, that was quite… different this morning."

"Natsume mocked me, and obviously the best reaction was to pin him to the floor." Mikan explained with a shrug.

"…Right." Jamie said after a moment, rolling his eyes. "Anyway, we're going to be late for special-abilities."

"Meh, I don't trust going."

He rolled his eyes again and pulled her toward Tsubasa's class.

"I'm warning you, I have a bad feeling."

"Yes, well, your bad feeling has made me curious."

He continued to the class, ignoring her complaints. They entered the seemingly empty classroom and the door shut quickly behind them, and Mikan snapped out a, "Told you so," before turning to glare at a group of three kids who she recognized as Kitsuneme, Sumire and Mochiage.

People popped up from under desks and seats and from behind decorations.

"Mm, you see, this is the suspicious thing I knew was coming."

Hotaru, appearing from behind a decorative plant, aimed an improved looking version of a baka-gun at her. "This is an intervention." She snarled. "You're going to tell us what happened to you."

Mikan's gaze flicked to a desk, where Natsume was sitting uncaringly. "Natsume, you prick, I told _you_!" she turned to where Tsubasa and Narumi where standing awkwardly. "You too, Tsubasa-senpai! And Narumi-sensei you heard part of it!"

Tsubasa twiddled his fingers guiltily and Narumi looked down.

Hotaru glared at Natsume, who ignored her.

Natsume shrugged. "Not my problem, ichigo-kara."

She continued to glare at him, before turning to Hotaru, and in an accusing voice said, "Hotaru, me and Natsume did something you wouldn't approve of!"

The class seemed to hold their breath in anticipation, expect for Koko, who giggled like a schoolgirl.

Natsume pulled her towards him and growled something along the lines of, "shut up," but Mikan was thinking over her evil plot, and ignored him. "We didn't do anything." He said to Hotaru.

She blinked at him with fake innocence, and she was sure he saw what she was planning. "We didn't, Natsume-_kun_?" Before he could reply, she pulled on his tie (Which she had a new respect for, for being so useful), propelling his face towards hers so they kissed for the four thousandth time that day.

Her mind laughed maniacally.

Fan-girls shrieked and fainted; Koko was literally rolling on the floor, laughing his ass off; Jamie covered his and Jade's eyes; Narumi said something that sounded like "oh my…" ; Tsubasa snorted; Ruka looked completely embarrassed and amazed; everyone else snickered, gasped or simply gawked in amazement.

Natsume enjoyed kissing her, she enjoyed humiliating him in front of the class.

Hotaru looked murderous. "Mikan." Ignore. "Hyuuga." Ignore. "_Separate._"

Koko made unhealthy choking noises and clapped his hands like a retarded seal, seeming to have enjoyed this more than he should have.

She pulled away when she heard the _click_ of Hotaru's scarier looking baka-gun.

"If you two are _done_ devouring each others faces-" Hotaru started.

"We weren't." Mikan cut in quickly. "But please, continue."

"I don't see what the problem is, Imai," Natsume scoffed, cheeks tinted pink. "I've seen you kiss my best friend."

"We've done more than kiss." Mikan smirked. Natsume was _so_ going to kill her.

The class froze again.

Jamie whispered, "Oh God, she's doomed…"

"No we haven't!" Natsume spat in embarrassment.

Hotaru looked like she was about to go on a killing-spree. "_More_?" she growled.

Natsume was probably getting ready to beat her to a pulp.

She grinned and took a deep breath before bursting out, "Natsume gave me a love-bite!" she pulled her shirt down slightly to reveal it, then, laughing, transported Natsume, Jamie, Jade and herself to her room, where she burst into hysterical laughter, Natsume beat her up with a pillow, and Jamie and Jade watched in amusement.

**So here's your happy Natsume and Mikan are together stuff. Don't get used to it. **

**Behind every storm cloud is a rainbow, and behind every rainbow is another storm cloud. That's life.**

**Songs:**

**Hey Monday – 6 Months**

**Everlife – Where you Are**


	19. Bittersweet

**Pay close attention to things Mikan says. Hint hint.**

"Git'off me!"

"You wish."

"Yes, I do wish. _Off!_" Mikan squirmed violently underneath Natsume, who was currently sitting on her stubbornly.

"You really do deserve this." Jamie said from on her bed, and she twisted her head awkwardly to glare at him. "I mean, you tackled him to the ground-"

"He was a jerk!"

"To be fair, what you did in the classroom was mean to him… in a twisted, disgusting and kind of sexual sort of way… if that makes sense."

"He was mean to me first – he should've seen revenge coming." She struggled again. "Hey, fat-ass, I can't breathe under all your weight."

Jade snickered.

"…Did you just imply that _I_, Natsume Hyuuga, am fat?" Natsume asked, glaring down at her face with a scowl.

"Mm-hmm."

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, well, look who's talking."

Jamie smirked.

She twisted her head again to bite Natsume's arm.

"Ow! Did you _bite me?_" She nodded. "…You bitch."

"Got that right…" Jamie muttered quietly.

Her eyes narrowed dangerously. "Call me that again and I'll bite your face off!"

"I think you did enough of that in the classroom." Jade quipped.

"Nah, I think I could do it a bit more…" Mikan said. She activated her strengthening alice and sat up, causing Natsume to fall off of her. "Oh my He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, I just remembered something!" She scrambled over to her bedside table and reached under it, pulling out a toy wooden wand. "Jamie, I downloaded the last Harry Potter movie!"

Jamie sat up straighter. "And you didn't tell me? Man, you _are_ a bitch."

"Fine, I'll watch it by myself."

"No! I was joking! Don't do it! I love you?" he offered weakly.

Mikan laughed, reaching under her bed to grab her laptop, then turned to Natsume. "Sorry, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave. Me and Jamie, us two, until the very end, will watch Harry Potter together. That means you have to leave. You too, Jade."

Jade pouted sadly and Natsume looked unhappy about being kicked out.

"Jade, that face didn't work the first time you tried it, it won't now, either." Jade frowned. "And Natsume, maybe you didn't notice, but you've been hovering over my shoulder since I got back. Me and Jamie need our me and Jamie time." He didn't reply. "Good to know you understand. Goodbye," before he could say anything, she transported him and Jade into Jade's room.

"I can't watch Harry Potter with you." Jamie complained, "I don't have my wand."

"I broke it, remember?"

"…Oh yeah… bitch."

"You kept pointing it at me and whispering Avada Kedavra under your breath. Sorry, I wasn't about to take any chances."

"Well maybe I _wouldn't have_ if you weren't such a bitch."

"You are very entertained by what Natsume said, aren't you?"

"Yes."

She made a face at him. "Mm-hmm." She said again. "Let's just watch this. I've been dying to see the last movie."

She quickly got it up on her computer, full screened it, blasted the volume up and dimmed the lights.

They remained silent through the whole movie except for the occasional gasp, sniffle and giggle. And when they applauded Bellatrix Lestrange's death.

When the credits rolled, Mikan dramatically wailed. "Okay," she started again. "Now, comments. First, why the freaking hell did Ron and Hermione start making out after destroying a horcrux and being attacked by water? That doesn't really… set a mood."

"I found it romantic." Jamie argued.

"No you didn't." Mikan deadpanned. "And Draco. I still don't like him. I always thought I would in the end, but I just pity him. He's so… wishy-washy. It's annoying."

"Agreed."

"…And to many characters died. I mean, it added feeling, but _seriously_? At least Neville lives through it all. I fucking love Neville. He's so stupid."

"Also agreed. But he gets cooler in this movie."

"Agreed. I would marry Neville instead of Natsume, if he was real. But doesn't he like, end up with Luna or something – no someone else… they stayed friends? I can't remember if it was mentioned in the book, but there's a lot of hints dropped in the movie to imply them." She paused, glaring at the credits. "Stupid Luna. Why couldn't Luna end up with Harry?"

"You are _such_ a fan-girl. Because Ginny ended up with him."

"But I like Luna better… and I'm allowed to fan-girl over certain things, so shut it."

"Think of it this way: Now, because Harry married Ginny, he is technically related to Ron, who married Hermione, so the three main characters are all related in the end."

"…Whoa. I wonder if she did that on purpose…"

Jamie shrugged.

She sighed, glancing at the time. "Holy cheesecake that was a long movie."

"Holy _cheesecake_?"

"Yes. Harry Potter always sets me off in these weird… weirdness's. Get used to it."

"…But Harry Potter's over now."

She glared at him. "Oh _hell no!_ Harry Potter will live through me forever!"

"…So you're going to be weird forever?"

"Yup!"

"Oh God, what have I gotten myself into?"

"Oh please, you're worse." She stood up quickly and stretched, and the room started spinning. "Whoa…" she sat back down and rubbed her forehead dizzily.

"You okay?" Jamie asked, giving her a concerned look.

"Just dizzy. Stood up to quickly."

"Have you eaten today?"

She paused thoughtfully. "Yeah, I grabbed something on the way to see the others off."

"Have you been feeling sick lately?" he persisted suspiciously.

"I've been feeling kinda weird all day." She admitted. "It's probably nothing."

He gave her an uncertain look. "Do you have any idea why?"

"No."

He dropped the subject, still suspicious. "Hmm. Well, anyway, because Hyuuga isn't hovering over your shoulder, is there anything you want to say?"

"…I don't think so. Except it's nice to talk to you without Natsume hovering over my shoulder."

He smirked and rolled his eyes. "Yes, it's nice to talk without getting deadly looks."

"You know, he used to give Tsubasa-senpai the same look. And any other boy that got a foot away from me… looking back at it, it was pretty amusing."

"So wait, how long has he been in love with you?"

She blinked. "I… don't know. I guess since I was ten or eleven."

"Can ten year olds even be in love?"

"Well, it seems so. Speaking of relationships-"

"Don't even think abo-"

"_Jamie and Claire, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-_ -Ow!" Mikan stopped teasing, rubbing her now rather sore arm.

"I told you not to."

"No, you _almost_ told me not to. I interrupted you."

He rolled his eyes again, an annoying habit that she had grown used to seeing.

"…Bitch." She taunted, narrowing her eyes at him.

His eyes widened slightly. "Did you just call _me_ a-"

"Yes."

His eyes narrowed too. "I think your boyfriend had the right idea when he beat your ass with a pillow."

"…I have another comment about the movies."

He waited for her to continue.

"Hedwig. Should not have died. Ever. That was a bitch move, J.K. Rowling."

"Agreed."

"Can't you think of a better reply?"

"…I agree with you, you bitch."

She smacked him.

"See, _this_ is what we can't do when you hang out with Hyuuga." He declared suddenly.

She nodded in agreement. "Well, we could. It just wouldn't be appreciated…" she mused. "Claire doesn't like how close we are either, you know."

"She doesn't?"

"Are you kidding? Before I was friends with her, she used to glare at the back of my head when I talked with you." He smirked. "Let's make a deal," she started, and he tilted his head in confusion. "No matter what happens, _nothing_ will stop us from being like we are now. Nothing will _ever_ separate us." She pointed her toy wand at him, clicking on a hidden button to make the end glow. "Deal?"

He rolled his eyes. "I thought that we both already knew that we would never be separated, no matter what."

"Just because we're in relationships now, doesn't mean we'll change." Mikan chirped. "Now, promise?"

"Of course. Like I said, I thought it was obvious."

"Just making it clear." Mikan affirmed.

He rolled his eyes again then snatched her wand away, pointed it at her and yelled, "Avada Kedavra!"

Mikan overdramatically faked a death, and Jamie pranced out of her room, content.

It took her a minute to realize that he had taken her wand. "You bastard, get back here!"

Distant laughter replied.

She followed the sound, catching up with Jamie and snatching her wand back. "That's playing dirty!"

"Oh, yeah, pff, says the one who _broke_ my wand."

"She broke your _what?_" Kuonji asked, disturbed, approaching them in the hall.

Mikan and Jamie shared a glance then burst into laughter.

"Well, that was the highlight of my day," Mikan declared. "I broke his toy wand. Harry Potter wand. We're wizards. Arr."

"That's a pirate." Jamie pointed out.

"…Okay, so what sounds do wizards make?"

He grabbed her wand again. "Avada Kedavra!" he ran off again.

"Hey!" She chased after him, ignoring the weird look Kuonji sent her. "Jamie, give it back!"

"No way!"

"Jamie!"

He bolted towards the dorms, and slammed himself in his room, locking the door. She tackled it.

"Don't be a muggle, Jamie, give me back my wand!"

Jade peered out of her room, smiling. "Movie over?"

Mikan nodded. "Jamie stole my wand." Jade quirked an eyebrow. "I broke his wand."

"You what?" Natsume asked, coming out of his room.

"My God, why the hell does everyone hear something perverted when they hear that?"

Jade shrugged. "Sounds pretty wrong."

Mikan sighed and tackled his door again, jiggling the doorknob madly. "Jamie I swear to the Dark Lord if you do not open this door I will kill you."

"The Dark Lord's dead!"

She paused. Dammit. "I swear on Neville Longbottom."

"Oh man, you're serious about this if you're risking Neville."

"Give. Me. My. Wand."

"What's going to happen with Neville if I don't?"

"I'll sic him on you."

"He's fake."

Mikan froze. "You _did not_ just say that."

"God, he's like your version of Justin Bieber."

"You _did not_ just compare Neville to Bieber."

There was a moment of silence. "_Ew_. I'm completely ashamed." Her wand slid under the door. "Here, have it back. I shamed myself."

She grabbed it happily.

Jade rolled her eyes. "You seriously still like Neville the best out of all the boys in that movie? Can't you pick one of the cuter guys?"

"I don't care what they look like." Jade gave her a disgusted look. "Okay, not _just_ their looks. Neville has character. He's fucking badass."

"_Neville_ is?"

"Yes." She paused. "Plus he's got awesome last name. Long-bottom. Makes it sound like he's got a big butt. It amuses me."

"…Neville… a badass…?"

"You really should have read the books." Mikan sighed. "Download the last movie or something. Trust me, you will love Neville to death."

"Ugh. I was never one for Neville."

Mikan glared at her. "You disgusting person. How the hell can you still like _Malfoy_ better than him?"

"Draco's hot."

"Draco's _Slytherin._ And Neville has his own charm."

"I took a quiz; I'm Slytherin too."

"You evil witch." Mikan paused. "Why the fuck are we fighting about people that are in a book when we both have perfect boyfriends… slash fiancé's?" She was suddenly aware that Natsume had been listening to their debate… and she had just called him perfect, right in front of him. She quickly added, "Well, almost perfect, at least. Everyone has flaws."

"Like Arden's amusement in shooting me." Jade mused.

"And how mine looks at, and steals my panties…" she wrinkled her nose. "Man, that is _screwed up._"

"Oh yeah, because abuse is _soooo_ much better."

"Harassment or abuse. Tough choice. But I'm getting used to harassment… that cannot possibly be good."

"Get used to it, Polka." Natsume growled, probably trying to remind her that he was there.

"See what I mean? Like, I don't even care that he calls me that anymore. I should be screaming in his face." She glared at Natsume then leaned over to whisper in Jade's ear so only she could hear. "I'm starting to enjoy it, think it's cute… I'm disgusting."

Natsume's arm wrapped around her and pulled her away from Jade. "What was that?" he twisted her around so she was looking at him instead of Jade.

"I-if you were meant to hear it I wouldn't have whispered!" Mikan stuttered in embarrassment.

She tried to squirm away from him, but his hands remained planted on her hips. "You said something about me." He stated leaning down so their faces were inches apart. "I intend to find out what that is, Polka."

"It's a cute nickname." Jade said, shrugging, ignoring Natsume. "It's perverted, but it's cute. At least he doesn't just call you panties. Could you imagine that? '_Hey, panties, are you talking about me?_' You should be relieved."

"Don't give him any ideas." Mikan warned, trying again to lean away from him.

She rolled her eyes. "Well, anyway, I'll just leave you two _alone_." She shut her room's door quickly.

"…It _amazes_ me how easily you can scare my friends away…"

"I didn't do anything," he said with an eye roll.

"I know. You scare them without even trying."

"That was probably you."

"My friends aren't scared of me!" She snapped. "…Well, not _most_ of the time."

…

"Okay, fine, they're _not_ not scared of me most of the time."

"Thought so."

Her eyes flicked down, and she fidgeted again. "Are you going to let go of me anytime soon?"

He was silent for a moment, and Mikan glanced up to catch him blink once, then looked back down at the floor.

"…So, yes or no?"

He leaned closer to her, and she was sure he was smirking. "Why? Does it bother you?"

She continued to stare at the floor. '_I will not look up. If I look up, I'm going to lose this battle. No looking up._'

She looked up.

Dammit.

'_Okay. But I'll win. I will._'

"Of course it doesn't." she scoffed.

Her denial only seemed to humor him.

"Why?" She countered. "Does it bother _you_?"

"Of course not." He replied nonchalantly. "In fact, I'm enjoying this position."

Jamie's door cracked open, and he looked out with one eye. "I feel that something perverted might happen, so can you two get out of the hall, where me and Jade can hear you clearly, and go into Hyuuga's room, where we can't?"

"So, that was your way of saying, '_Get a room!_'?"

"Pretty much."

She pretended to think this over, then smirked. "So, what if we took _your_ room?"

His door shut quickly, and there was a click as he locked the door.

She continued to smirk at the door, before Natsume flung her over his shoulder and started to his room.

"What are you doing?" she squealed, smacking his back lightly. "I can walk by myself."

"Your best friend just gave me permission to do perverted things to you in my room, you know."

She froze, then flailed her arms wildly. "What? No! Put me down!" he opened the door to his room. "No! Jamie, save me!"

Nothing.

"Jade?" She squeaked hopefully. She thought she heard a giggle from behind her friend's door. "You jerk, stop laughing at me!"

Natsume shut his door and tossed her onto his bed carelessly.

"Hey!" she protested, "I'm a person, cant you, I don't know, _not_ throw me?"

He shrugged and went across his room to a desk she presumed homework was on.

"Okay, so you're _not_ going to harass me." She thought aloud.

He turned to her, smirking. "Did you _want_ me too?"

"No! Idiot."

He rolled his chair toward where she was sitting on his bed. "Really now?"

He was still trying to make her lose her composure, she realized. "Yes, really." She added in a whiny tone, "Why am I even here if you're going to ignore me?" she started to stand. "Can't I just go and find Mitsuki and Yuuki?" she opened the door and Natsume kicked it shut. '_I win._' She looked at him expectantly.

Without saying anything, he pulled her back into his lap and wheeled back over to the desk.

"This seat is getting rather familiar." She said with a cheeky grin.

He ignored her.

"See, now, really, what's the point in me being here if you're just going to do homework?"

He wrapped one arm around her, not bothering to look at her. "Polka-dots?"

"Yes?"

"Shut up."

She laughed and leaned against him heavily. "Fine, I'll just go to sleep." She had a feeling that he rolled his eyes at her. "I don't know why, but I feel like I could sleep for years. Maybe I'm coming down with something," she mumbled into his shirt, "Don't kiss me."

"That's like daring me to kiss you."

"Why can't you be comfier?" She complained, ignoring his comment. "Stop being so strong. It's bothersome. Why can't you be a fatty, so I can just like, curl up in a flab of fat?"

"That's disgusting." He said dryly.

"…Yeah, never mind, stay like this." She fidgeted until she was comfortable. "Don't molest me in my sleep." She warned groggily.

"We'll see." He replied before she drifted off tiredly.

"Wake up, idiot."

She opened her eyes to glare at Natsume and yawned tiredly. "I don't really want to." She slammed her eyes shut, smiling in amusement when she heard Natsume's frustrated sigh.

"You've been sleeping for two hours. Schools over and I told Ruka I'd meet with him." He explained. "And I can't feel my legs because you're so heavy you cut off the circulation in them."

"Mikan fell asleep on my lap and refused to move under any circumstances. Sounds like a legit excuse to me."

"Move."

"No."

"Move."

"No."

"Move."

"No."

"Move."

"Don't be a meanie, I'm trying to sleep."

"Sleep somewhere else." He promptly sat up and Mikan squeaked and grabbed onto him to keep from falling.

"Meanie! Are you _trying_ to make me fall?" He nodded. "Meanie, meanie, meanie, meanie!"

"Will you shut up!" He snapped.

"Don't count on it. Meanie, meanie, meanie, meanie-"

"Don't make me hurt you."

"I'll just hurt you back. Meanie, meanie, meanie, meanie-" She clung to him like a koala and he started towards Jamie's room, probably for reinforcement. "Meanie, meanie, meanie, meanie, meanie, meanie."

He knocked and waited impatiently for Jamie to answer while she continued to repeat the word 'meanie' at him.

Jamie's head peeked out, and he turned away to hide an amused grin. "Yes?" he coughed, trying desperately not to laugh.

"Get this idiot off me."

Jamie stared at her in clear amusement and she gave him a deadly glare. "Sorry, I don't have a death wish."

"You will if you don't help me."

"I will if I _do_ help you. No offence, but I'm more scared of Mikan than you. You may _think_ you've seen her violent, but trust me, you haven't."

"How do you know when you've seen her violent?"

Jamie stared at her questioningly. "You didn't tell him about AoD?" When she shook her head, he quickly explained. "Mikan changes _completely_ when she's violent. It's mostly on missions, but it's happened on a couple of other occasions. When I say changes, I don't mean that she just becomes increasingly violent. Well, she does, but her appearance changes too. Her hair and eyes both become black and she looks… well, completely murderous, yet somehow hot. Don't give me that look, you can call her ugly all you want, but Mikan was asked out daily back in America because of her good looks. Anyway, AoD stands for Angel of Death, one of her mission aliases and alter ego. When I say you don't want to meet her, believe me, you _do not_ under _any_ circumstances want to meet her. She will rip you to shreds." Natsume looked somewhat disbelieving. "I'm not kidding. I _saw_ Angel literally use a stolen alice to shred someone. It was bloody…" he looked somewhat disgusted as he recalled this.

"I told you that you shouldn't do missions with her." Mikan said in annoyance. "I told you that you'd regret it. I _told_ you but did you listen? _Nooo_, because you had seen some pretty messed up things anyway so why would that matter? Well, maybe you _have_ seen messed up things, but Angel is more messed up than you can imagine."

"Stop talking about her like she's a different person." Jamie said, giving her a weird look.

"She is. I learned how to separate our bodies. It's cool. Wanna see?"

"No! I mean… I… have some… homework… that needs washing… I mean doing… goodbye." He shut the door quickly.

Mikan grinned at the closed door as Natsume started away, seeming to have decided that there wasn't a way to remove her. "I love disturbing him…" He didn't reply so she added, "Okay, so why are you bothered now?"

"…You didn't tell me about your 'alter ego.'"

"I don't like her. I don't talk about her."

…I can't imagine you killing people…"

"I can't either. That's why I created Angel. Mikan Sakura-Azumi Yukihara does _not_ and never will kill anyone. She has only considered killing Kuonji, David, herself, and on occasion Jamie and Damien… and you. I used to want to kill you, too." She adjusted her koala-position so she wouldn't fall, wrapping her arms around his neck and legs around his back. "Yup, definitely wanted to kill you for awhile."

He ignored her jibe. "…And boys asked you out… daily." He said pointedly, his head bowing into her hair.

"Oh yeah… _those_ people…" she grumbled. "I never went out with anyone, if that's what you're getting at. Every time someone asked me out, I'd say, 'I'm engaged to the boy I love, so screw off.'" She felt his lips twitch into a smirk against her head. "You may not believe me, but I was faithful except for the things I really didn't have control over. David and Damien, rather." His smile disappeared at the names. He probably didn't care about Damien at all, but he hated David with a passion, she knew. "So, where are we –yes, we- meeting Ruka-pyon?"

"_I'm_ meeting Ruka at the fountain in front of the high school."

"Great, _I'll_ come with you."

He sighed in annoyance. "Whatever, Imai's probably going to be coming too."

"Why do you still call her Imai? Why don't you just call her Hotaru? You guys are… _friends_… now…"

"I don't know. Force of habit."

"I should just call you Hyuuga from now on. You know, I never did. I just went straight to Natsume. Maybe because yelling 'Hyuuga, you pervert' just doesn't have the same… ring to it as 'Natsume, you pervert' does."

"…Hyuuga, let Mikan go."

Mikan tilted her head backwards to smile at Hotaru and Ruka.

"Maybe you can't see properly, Imai, because _she's_ clinging to _me_. Now, please tell me you have a contraption that will make her let go."

She heard the click of a camera.

"Stop touching Mommy!" a voice hollered behind Natsume, and Mikan looked over his shoulder as Yuuki, Damien and Mitsuki approached. She unwound herself from Natsume and leaned down just in time to catch Yuuki as she flung herself at her. "Only me, Kaori and daddy can touch Mommy."

She felt her throat tighten at Kaori's name and looked in a different direction before taking a deep breath and saying, "You don't have a daddy."

"Who's Kaori?" Hotaru asked suspiciously.

Natsume shook his head lightly at her to signal not to ask, but Yuuki continued without noticing the tension, "Kaori is my sister! She looks just like me. She has pretty brown hair and big blue eyes, and her favorite color is orange. But I haven't seen her for_ever_. She and Mommy left somewhere and she said that she'd see me soon, but she never came back, and Mommy wouldn't talk for days." She added in an accusing tone, "Now whenever Kaori is mentioned, Auntie Mitsuki tells me to 'shut my pie-hole or she'll kick it,' and that 'There is no Kaori.'"

Damien and Mitsuki both covered Yuuki's mouth quickly, while Mikan dug her nails into her arm, trying to ignore Hotaru's look. Natsume's hand tugged hers away from her now-bleeding arm, and he whispered calming words into her ear.

"W-we'll just be going now." Mitsuki laughed nervously and took off, carrying Yuuki and dragging Damien behind her.

She turned in the opposite direction. "I'll be going then."

She heard Natsume excuse himself as she started away, and a moment later he was in front of her.

She stopped and waited.

"Are you okay?" he asked worriedly, flicking a brief glance at the other two to make sure that they weren't eavesdropping.

She shrugged. "It hurts talking about her," she said honestly. "But it's not the reason I'm leaving."

A frown tugged at his lips.

"I forgot that it's Monday. I have a meeting with Kuonji in about half-an-hour."

His eyes narrowed with hostility and suspicion. "You're not going on a mission, are you?"

"Not that I'm aware of, no. It's just a meeting we have weekly. He'll demand I undo my mothers work, I tell him I'd rather die, we argue, and he sends me away, blah, blah, blah." She rolled her eyes. "You think he'd get the point and stop asking."

He continued to stare at her intently for another minute before sighing, "Don't do anything stupid." He flicked her forehead and walked back to the couple.

She scowled at the back of his head before turning back to the path that led to her bedroom, where she was sure Kuonji would be waiting impatiently.

Sure enough, as she opened her door, his voice greeted her coldly, "You're late, Sakura."

She ignored the comment. "So, let's get this over with. Will I do as I'm told? Nope."

He smirked for some twisted reason. "Is that your _final_ answer?"

"You know it is."

"This is your last chance to say yes." He warned.

"I would rather die." She hissed.

He only seemed happy about this. "Very well then. Have a _lovely_ night, Sakura." He left without another word.

Mikan stared wordlessly after him, pondering his choice of words, before walking over to her CD player and popping in Delhi 2 Dublin, then grabbed a random book out of her bookshelf and sat down on her bed.

She stared at the cover of Crookedstar's Promise by Erin Hunter, bothered.

"_Have a _lovely_ night, Sakura._"

"_Have a _lovely_ night._"

"Lovely_ night._"

Her eyes widened in terror and she leapt to her feet, the book flying away from her and landing in a way that bent a page horribly.

"Lovely night." She whispered. "_Shit!_"

She took off out of her room.

How could she have not seen this coming?

-_"Why aren't you helping me Mommy?"_

"_Will you obey and remove these alice's from me?"_

_No reply._

_He undid her gag._

_She remained silent, eyes locked on Kaori._

_He sighed impatiently. "Not even for your own daughters life?"_

_She squirmed._

"_You're heartless." He spat, turning away. "Finish off the little girl. She's of no use."_

"_No!" Kuonji started dragging her out the door._

"_Mommy? Why are you leaving? Come back!"A moment later there was a loud howl of pain._

_Kuonji undid the ropes that tied her, and forced her away from the room. He shoved her into her room, where Yuuki gave out a tired greeting._

"_Have a _lovely_ night, Sakura." He disappeared down the hall and Mikan collapsed in her bed._-

She thought that was the end.

But now she was back in Gakuen Alice.

Where all the people she loved most were.

She had to find them.

* * *

><p>…<strong>DUN DUN DUUUH!<strong>

**Anywho, I'm going to my grandpa's tomorrow morning, staying for the weekend, coming back, staying a week, then going back. **

**And my grandpa doesn't have internet, soo… won't be able to update D:**

**BUTBUTBUT, please leave a review. I'm about to get started on the next chapter.**

…**And Crookedstar's Promise belongs to Erin Hunter, the author/s of the Warrior Cats series.**

…**And I obviously don't own the band Delhi 2 Dublin. I just like them.**


	20. In It For Life

**Wow. Nobody wants me to change a thing about this fanfic. Flattering. Thank you, random people! Anyway, I'm still considering the writing this story in Natsume's POV thing, but I want more opinions. Anyone have anything to say on the subject?**

**I will admit something… before that authors note, I already had this written. But the next chapter isn't done and it is required they go together, because… well, read and find out.**

She was so stupid to have not seen this coming. _So stupid!_

Why would Kuonji leave her alone? He needed to be freed of her mothers curse, and she was the only one who could help him, and he was willing to go to any means necessary to get what he wanted.

_Even kill._

"_Have a_ lovely _night, Sakura."_

He used that line when he killed her grandfather, too, she remembered suddenly.

She was in such utter shock that it had went through one ear and right back out the other.

She swore and ran faster.

She had to find Natsume, Hotaru and Ruka first.

Then Yuuki, Damien and Mitsuki.

Then stop at the dorms for Jamie and Jade.

Then… what?

The adults she cared about popped into her mind: Kazumi, Narumi, Tsubasa, Misaki, Utau. Shiki… he was away on a trip, though, so he would be fine. And they would be able to take care of themselves – she hoped.

Claire and Arden.

They were on their way back to America. _Would they be fine?_ She would call them when she had gathered the others.

She turned a corner sharply, dodging a couple of students.

Where the hell was Natsume going? She'd never asked.

Central town would be her first guess, and the bus would be leaving in eight minutes.

She let out a long, low, whistle, and Anya was at her side in moments, racing beside her. She pulled to a stop and quickly jumped onto the panther-formed-raven, giving her instructions on where to go.

In what Mikan could only guess was about five out of their eight minutes, they were at the bus stop, where both of the trios she was looking for were.

Natsume looked semi-surprised to see her again so soon, but she paid no mind to the unasked question.

She paused, catching her breath, before panting out a, "You're in danger."

They looked at each other in confusion, Hotaru's gaze lingering longest on Natsume, as if he would know.

She cleared her throat. "I'll explain in a couple of minutes. First let's get to Jamie's room." Hotaru looked like she was going to protest, and she quickly added impatiently, "I don't have time for this! Jamie could be _dying right now!_" Tears burned the back of her eyes.

That silenced everyone.

She got off Anya, whispering quick instructions to go ahead to check on the twins, and the black feline rushed ahead of them.

Mitsuki was at her side quickly with Yuuki, then Damien, and moments later, Natsume.

Mitsuki covered Yuuki's ears. "What's happening?"

"I don't know." Mikan admitted, loud enough for everyone, except Yuuki, to hear, tears finally forming. "Kuonji… my meeting with him. It started off normal. But when he left… he said, '_Have a _lovely_ night, Sakura._' It might not seem like much… but he's only said that two other times. The two times that he killed people, he always told me that. Maybe I'm just panicking over nothing, but I don't trust him." She explained hurriedly.

"Who has Kuonji killed?" Hotaru asked straightforwardly.

No hesitance. "Grandpa and Kaori." They'd find out anyway. "Mom and dad, too, I guess."

"Who's Kaori?" she continued.

"One of the people Kuonji killed."

"Don't fucking toy with me, Mikan."

"…" She made sure Yuuki couldn't hear before whispering, "Yuuki's twin sister."

Hotaru wasn't surprised. "He's killed almost all of your family, then…"

"So you think Kuonji's going to kill one of us?" Damien asked, bored despite what she said.

"I think that he's planning something, and every other time he's planned something, it's ended with someone I love dying."

"So you still love all of your old friends?" Hotaru asked, sounding relieved.

"Did I ever say I didn't? No. I just avoided you. Because of this reason exactly. It didn't work very well apparently." She quickened her step. "The person I'm most worried about is Jamie, though. He knows I'll die without him. That's why we have to hurry," she hinted.

The special-star rooms were in sight now, and she rushed ahead and pounded on Jade's door, sighing in relief when her friend's head poked out.

"Was'sup?" she asked blearily.

"Come into Jamie's room, if you will." Mikan said, sweeping Jade towards Jamie's door. She knocked again, and there was a small thud signaling that Jamie had fallen. Again.

"Mmyuurgph."

"Sorry," Mikan apologized with an eye roll, letting out a small, relieved breath. "I don't speak Jamie. Can we come in?"

"Hmph…"

"Well, that better have been a yes, because I'm coming in." she pushed open the door and couldn't help but smirk at Jamie, who was sprawled on the floor awkwardly.

"Do me a favor," Jamie started, now understandable, "beat up you boyfriend for me… toss him down a staircase."

She pulled Natsume into the room. "Funny you'd mention him." She forced everyone else into the room.

"Am I throwing a party?"

"Yup. It's main feature is '_Hide-and-Seek or we're all gonna die!_'"

He waved a hand at her, sitting up. "Totally lost me."

"Kuonji. Meeting. Ended with the words 'Have a _lovely_ night, Sakura.' Sound familiar?"

"Sounds like a death wish." He agreed suspiciously.

"Precisely why I'm panicking. Anyway," she turned towards the others. "It seems I've dragged you all into this. For that, I apologize. But frankly, I care more about your safety than your comfort." She started pacing impatiently. "I should have seen this coming. Really, I should have. There's not really anything I can do, though. Um," she bit her lip. "Be on your toes. Don't trust anyone. _Anyone_. They could be clones, replicas, something... ugh, this is to complicated… just… hide in your rooms for the rest of today… I really don't trust Kuonji…" she paused, then pulled her cell-phone out of her pocket and tossed it to Jamie. "Call Arden. I need to know he and Claire are okay."

He did so obediently, looking relieved when Arden answered. "You and Claire are okay, right?" he put it on speaker.

"_Yeah, 'course. Why, should we be dead?_"

"Well, yes, kind of."

"…_What?_"

"Kuonji's threatening Mikan, so we just wanted to be sure."

"_Ah, gotcha. I'll make sure Claire and I behave appropriately. And don't get killed._"

"You do that, Arden." Jamie said dryly, then hung up and tossed the phone back at her. "Well, he's okay."

"Thank you, captain moron."

"That's _detective_ moron to you." Jamie retorted.

"I'm sure it is," Mikan snapped, rolling her eyes. "Anyway, enough with our idiotic converse. For now, I really don't know much except that Kuonji is going after one of us, or a cared about adult." She scowled and tugged at her hair angrily. "Ugh, this is to complicated. Just, uh… do what I said and hide in your rooms. I'll pick you up in the morning to walk together."

"Hold it," Hotaru interrupted. "I want to know what happened to you."

_And you have since I got back,_ Mikan thought in annoyance. She sighed in irritation, "I'll tell you tomorrow, okay? I really don't have the patience right now."

"I don't have the patience anymore, either, Mikan." Hotaru snapped.

"Tomorrow." Mikan repeated in defeat. "Really, I feel like shit." Hotaru opened her mouth and Mikan quickly added, "I promise. And Mikan Sakura-Azumi Yukihara doesn't break promises. God my name is a mouthful."

Hotaru remained silent.

She sighed again and rubbed her temples. "Ugh, now is _so_ not a good time for this." She waved her hand dismissively. "Just do what I said and hide in your rooms. Lock the doors, close the windows, shut the curtains, everything. And don't leave unless I give the okay."

After a few moments, they discovered that that was that and they weren't going to get anything else from her, and Hotaru quickly stormed out, Ruka after her a second later, and Jade and Mitsuki walking out uncertainly, Damien following, still bored.

Yuuki blinked up at her curiously and Mikan scooped her up quickly, turning to Natsume and Jamie. "I expect you two to be careful." She stared at Jamie. "Call Arden and Claire again every hour or so, okay?"

He nodded confirmation. "Are you staying here?"

She hesitated then shook her head. "I think I should be away from everyone right now."

He narrowed his eyes in disappointment. "Why?"

"I dunno."

"Then stay."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"Jamie, don't make me hurt you."

"Then stay."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"For the love of all that is good, I am going to punch you."

"…Yes." Smack. "Ow! Bitch."

"Well you asked for it. Can I leave now?"

He shook his head. "I would feel much better if you stayed here with me."

"I'd feel much better away from you. No offence. I just have this feeling I shouldn't be here. I don't know why."

He scowled at her. "I'd feel better if you stayed here." He repeated.

She sighed. "Seriously, Jamie, I have this feeling that something's going to happen, and I _cannot_ be here." She started slowly towards the door. "I'll come back tomorrow, goof. Don't die," she added, and closed the door quickly, leaving Jamie and Natsume in his room.

Yuuki kept her curious gaze on her.

"Nothing's wrong, Yuuki." Mikan lied reassuringly.

She nodded blankly then stared at the ground.

"I'm serious. Nothing's wrong." Yet.

Another blank nod, indicating that she didn't believe her.

Mikan sighed, opening the door that led outside just as Natsume walked out of Jamie's room.

He called to her but she kept walking, and quickly transported to her room.

"Mommy? Why'd you ignore Natsume-nii?"

"Because sometimes it's better for your health to avoid people like him."

"Like him?" Yuuki repeated.

"Like him. When you grow up you'll know what I mean."

"…Natsume-nii is a weirdo pervert."

"Yes. Who told you that?"

"Mitsuki-nee and Damien-nii."

"Ah. Well, it's true." There was an irritating rumble from her bedside table, and she glanced over at it and noticed her pager-like machine vibrating, the word "Mission" highlighted and flashing.

She stared at it blankly. A mission.

Now.

Seriously?

The urge to stab Kuonji suddenly resurfaced, and she sighed between her teeth. "We have to go somewhere, Yuuki. And I don't know how this will turn out. But remember that I love you."

Yuuki cringed at the intensity of her voice. "I love you too, Mommy…"

She started to the door then paused, turning back and grabbing the beeper. She set it on her bed, facing outwards so when Natsume, who she knew would come here, would at least have an idea of what was happening.

She transported again, this time to the door of the dangerous ability class, and hesitated at opening the door when she heard the voices inside.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" It was Persona's voice, sounding uncharacteristically uncertain.

"Yes." Kuonji too.

"I know you have issues with her but this-"

"Just do what I say!"

"But she could come in handy-"

"She won't. I've given up. Mikan won't listen, so it's time for this."

One last futile attempt, "But…"

"But what? It's over. It was over when it started, but I didn't quit, and now there isn't any point in continuing."

"Is…that why you brought her back here? _To torture her friends_?"

Mikan stiffened.

A pause.

"It wasn't originally my intention, but yes, this is a bonus."

Another voice piped in, "Please, don't do this," small, feminine, and somehow familiar.

"Shut up. Persona, Mikan has your alice stone inserted in her body, right?"

A pause where she suspected Persona nodded.

"You can probably activate it then right?"

And she realized what was happening.

It wasn't Jamie,

It wasn't Natsume,

It wasn't Yuuki,

It was _her_ who was going to die.

The sudden sharp pain in her chest only confirmed this.

She had Persona's alice stone inside her. She couldn't nullify it. She couldn't steal it without touching it.

Persona had activated his alice _inside_ of her. And it was going to eat her inside out.

Silently, Mikan put Yuuki down.

She stepped into the room, eyes narrowed, Yuuki now hovering behind her leg. "So this is it then?" She questioned stiffly, walking up to stand in front of him, ignoring Persona, who made his leave. "You couldn't control me, so you're going to kill me?" she barely glanced at the keeper of the female voice.

A kid. With a flash of a stolen alice, she identified her to have the same alice as Persona.

"This is the end," Kuonji agreed calmly.

She couldn't hold back a bitter smile. "This is the end? That's it then. That's it."

He hesitated, his eyes going down to the little girl. "Yes. I think it is." He paused, looking thoughtful. "You'll be dead by eight in the morning at most."

The unidentified girl suddenly reached toward Yuuki, a blank look in her eyes.

Instinctively, Mikan shoved Yuuki backwards and stepped in front of her.

And the girl's hand connected to her knee, sending a fiery pain through it.

"But maybe you would like to know one last thing?" Kuonji suggested, looking unnaturally excited.

Mikan said nothing.

"I bet you're wondering who this girl is, with the death alice?"

Nothing, but Mikan finally took in her appearance.

Her blood ran cold.

"Only a little over three," He started. "Death alice,

"Meet Kaori Yukihara.

_Your daughter._"

**…**

**Yeah.**

**I went there.**

**I wasn't intending to have her live. But in the while I haven't updated, I got this idea. Have Kaori speed up Mikan's death stuff.**

**And next, Mikan tells Jamie what she has been hiding from him for so long… and a very painful goodbye shared amongst old friends. (Content not edited. I was to excited to post it and the next chapter… which also isn't edited.)**


	21. Survive

He kept smiling, so pleased with himself.

And all she could think was _how could someone be so disgusting?_

"How?"

"You never saw her die, did you?"

Silence.

Then, "You're despicable." Quickly she grabbed Yuuki, then hesitated, staring at Kaori. It wasn't possible. It couldn't be her.

But it was.

An exact replica of Yuuki, staring up at her with eyes she couldn't decipher.

"Kaori…" Yuuki whispered, looking down at her. "_Kaori!_"

Kaori stared at her, mouthing her name, but looked down a moment later.

"Do what you want now. With Kaori's extra hit, you'll be dead by midnight." Which, of course, was only an hour and a half away.

"You disgusting person!" Mikan snarled. "You _monster_!"

He simply started for the door, turning only when he reached it and aiming his attention at Kaori, who hadn't moved. "Going to spend final moments with your mother? Fine. I'm done with you all."

He walked out, and as she slid to the floor numbly, a voice outside the room echoed quietly.

"What have you done with Mikan?"

Of course, Natsume had come here looking for her to stop her from going on a mission. But Mikan couldn't do anything, stuck in some trance, staring at Kaori, who was supposed to be dead. Who for the last almost three years had been with Kuonji. _The whole time_. Who she had watched being hit, repeatedly, unable to help without ruining the lives of everyone else. The reason Mikan had wished herself dead out of grief.

"I've ruined her, _once and for all_."

"You bastard," Natsume hissed. "Where is she?"

Kaori stared back at her and Yuuki, eyes glistening with unshed tears. Mikan had left her to die, and now that it was her turn, Kaori felt sad, even though she probably couldn't remember her.

"I imagine torturing herself to death with guilt right now."

And she felt something inside her shatter. The last barrier of her sanity, probably.

A scream managed to rip through her throat, "_NO!_"

Kaori's tears started falling.

"_NO, NO, NO!_"

Getting her daughter back just to die?

He had planned this. He had to have planned this.

He was laughing outside the door now, and Natsume had shoved past him to get to her. "Mikan what-" his voice cut off, and she realized that her arms were starting to become the rotting, purple-black color caused by Persona and Kaori's alice's.

All of the pain caused by the reappearance of Kaori was intensified tenfold at the look in his eyes.

She pressed the heels of her palms' against her closed eyes. She had come back, only to hurt everyone more – especially Natsume.

"I'm sorry," she choked out painfully. "I didn't mean for…" she cut off again. Didn't mean for _what_? Didn't mean for Kaori to be alive? To die right after she had rebuilt their unstable relationship? Didn't mean anything? She didn't know anymore. "This," she finished lamely.

He pulled her to her feet silently, took Yuuki from her, then glanced at Kaori in confusion.

"Kaori," she said as explanation.

He flicked his gaze to her. "But she's dead," he finally uttered.

"Apparently not. Trust me, this is her." Again her voice cracked, and she coughed violently to prevent sobs.

He was silent for a moment. He had witnessed her hysteria at watching Kaori 'die' so he was probably having doubts. "Well what do we do with her?"

That was a good question. What would she do with Yuuki as well, now that she was dying?

"Jamie's going to have to take care of them when I-"

"Don't," Natsume interrupted. "Don't finish that sentence."

"Natsume, you can't pretend that I'm not d-"

This time he cut her off by kissing her. "Don't say it, Mikan. I'm not losing you again."

The burning pain caused by the death alice said otherwise, but she stopped trying. Now wasn't an appropriate time to be making out with Natsume.

She swallowed painfully. "I have to see Jamie." Before he replied, she grabbed his hand with one of hers, and Kaori's with the other, making sure to nullify her, and transported to Jamie's room, sending a thanks to God for at least having this alice to save time.

Jamie, lying on his bed, sat up immediately, almost toppling out of his bed again. "Mikan! What are you…?" he trailed off, staring at her bruised arm, then realized with dread what it meant. "No! No way! Not you. Not _you_!" He got to his feet, not noticing the splint anymore. "You can't die on me, Mikan, you _can't_!"

A small breath escaped her mouth. "Go get the other special stars, Jamie…"

"Mikan, you-"

"_Go!_" she let go of Natsume's hand. "You too. He's limping because of you. Go get everyone and bring them here, _now_."

Instantly they both zoomed out, and both returned moments later, Hotaru, Ruka, Jade, Mitsuki and Damien in tow, looking confused.

Until they caught sight of her.

They seemed to understand instantly that she was the one going to die.

Hotaru gritted her teeth and looked away; Ruka's breath caught in his throat and he silently turned to the floor; Jade and Mitsuki both started crying openly and Damien bit his lip lightly. Jamie limped over to his bed and collapsed in a heap on it. Natsume simply stood in the doorway, eyes void of all emotion.

"Let's start with what happened when I left," Mikan started. "I got to my room with Yuuki, and found out I had a mission. That was obviously part of the trap, so I went to the Dangerous Abilities old classroom, where I heard…" she paused blankly. "Where Kuonji was telling Persona to activate the alice stone of his that I have, to kill me. And where…" Another break in her voice, this time from pain. "Where I found out Kaori's been alive…"

Jamie visibly paled and looked at Kaori for the first time in years. Jade and Mitsuki both looked up abruptly, tears still falling, and stared at Kaori with shock, and Damien raised his eyebrows.

"And, as you can see, Kaori… she is alive… and I'm dying…"

Natsume flinched.

"I can't… I don't have time to tell you everything that has happened to me…" she sent an apologetic glance at Hotaru. Another sigh. "Which is why I'm requesting Jamie to tell everyone every detail of what has happened. When I say everyone," she paused, turning to Jamie, "I mean the whole school. The students, teachers, my uncle… every single person. Don't argue," she added when he opened his mouth. "I'm going to die, the least you can do is listen to what I want you to do.

"I also want you to take care of Yuuki and Kaori. I know that they're not yours, but you were always their father in their eyes, or at least an uncle or close friend-slash-relative." She took a deep breath. "And I need to apologize." She let out the breath and bit her lip.

"Because I knew this would happen."

She looked down, unable to face them.

"When I was given Persona's alice stone… I knew. That it wasn't just for help later. That it would be the death of me. I knew, and I didn't tell anyone except Mitsuki." Numbing pain shot through her and she slid to the floor. "Because I didn't know how you'd handle it. And I also told you," she said, aiming her attention at Jamie, "I told you I was only hiding one thing from you. But it's two things…" Her throat burned. "I didn't tell anyone this," her voice faltered, "because it scared me. And I couldn't describe it before. And I can't now either, because my voice is going. So, I apologize, Jamie, Jade especially you, because this will be painful for you to see."

An image formed on Jamie's wall.

_Mikan was walking to her next class in America when she walked past the gate. _

_A woman was standing there. Just standing, staring through the bars, teary-eyed, her hair pinned behind her head and a hat covering the rest so she couldn't see the color._

_And, out of the sheer curiosity of what a woman was doing there, Mikan walked over to her._

_The woman flinched._

"_You shouldn't be here," was Mikan's simple greeting. "The guards will shoo you away."_

_Nothing._

"_Okay, you don't want to talk. You don't know me. Well, I'm Mikan." Nothing. "I was raped when I was eleven." _

_A blink._

"_And so was one of my best friends, except she was younger, and it was by her dad."_

_Uncertainty entered the woman's eyes._

"_But she repressed her memories. There, now you know something about me and my friend, so tell me something about you or your friends."_

_More silence before: "I am looking for my kids."_

_She titled her head. "Your kids? Well you won't find 'em. You should best go." _

_And with that, she started away, ignoring that the woman called after her._

_And so, when the woman was there the next day, Mikan walked over again. "You shouldn't be here. The guards will shoo you away." She greeted again._

_The woman smiled slightly._

"_Your kids, huh? Still want to see them?"_

_A nod._

"_Why?"_

_Hesitation._

"_I need to apologize for my mistakes'_

_Mikan blinked._

"_You are the same age as my children._

_She didn't reply._

"_You know them. I know you do."_

"_How could you know that? I might not."_

_She was silent again for a moment. "You must. Because you mentioned Jade."_

_Mikan stepped away._

"_Please get them for me."_

_Another step away._

"_They don't want to see you," she hissed. "You left them for dead."_

"_I know, that's why-"_

"_No! You'll hurt them! Jade will remember everything, and be hurt!"_

"_Then let me see Jamie at least!" She was pleading now._

"_No. You hurt him. You hurt your own children beyond repair." She turned away now, unable to stand the woman's tears. "You don't deserve such wonderful people."_

_Mikan ran._

_And the next day, she wasn't there._

_Or the next day._

_And then, Mikan was with Jamie and Jade and Arden, walking around far away from that section of the gate, near a different one, when she spotted her._

_Jade was trying to escape Arden, who had wrapped his arms around her teasingly and refused to let her go. They had been dating for as long as Mikan could remember, and it was common to see something like that._

_Jamie had an arm casually draped across Mikan's shoulders, and was scolding Arden's foolishness. _

_The woman caught Mikan's eyes, but didn't call out._

_And later, when Mikan walked by without them, she was still there, and Mikan went over again._

"_Don't ruin the happiness they have found."_

_The woman stared._

"_I didn't want to. I want them to know I regret everything."_

"_You should." Mikan answered with harsh bluntness. "You are lucky Arden and me are here."_

_She stared again. "You are dating my son?"_

"_No." Mikan denied quickly. "I love Jamie. But no more than a friend or brother. Not as a lover. That slot in my life is filled."_

_The woman stared at her again. "My son is in love with you, then."_

_Mikan blushed. "No. We are just friends. He loves me no more than a friend or sister."_

_A small shake of the head._

"_Then don't believe me. But he has an almost girlfriend. That isn't me. Me and Jamie aren't… compatible." Which was untrue._

_Another headshake._

"_Fine. Me and Jamie will grow up, fall in love, get married and live happily ever after with rainbows and lollipops and dancing unicorns. Is that better?"_

_A nod._

_How insufferable._

"_I was being sarcastic. We promised to be with each other forever, but marrying him isn't appealing. I am engaged to the boy I love."_

_Nothing._

"_Be more concerned about Jade's relationship with Arden. They're dating."_

_Raised eyebrows._

"_For a long time. They love each other. They're amazing. My fiancé bullies me whereas Arden cuddles Jade to death."_

_Nothing._

"_Please do not come back this time."_

_Mikan walked away._

_And the woman didn't come back._

"I know I should have told you. _I know that._ But…" Mikan trailed off, avoiding Jamie's eyes by still looking at the floor. "I couldn't. She left you. And I couldn't stand it, so I didn't think you could either. But I should have let you see her, even if you hated me after for making you. Because I kept thinking at that time: I would never leave _my_ kids for dead. And I did. I left Kaori. I didn't want to, it wasn't exactly a choice, but I could have done something. But I didn't," she paused again, breathing harder. "And I realized that I was just like her. Unable to forgive myself for letting it happen, wanting to change the past. Unable too. _I was just like her_!" She broke into sobs. "And now, Kaori's suddenly back from the dead. And I'll never have the chance to make it up to her."

She turned to Kaori weakly. "I'm sorry," again she had to stop talking to let sobs through. "I let this happen. I should have stopped it – stopped _him._ But I can't now. I'm such a fucking failure…especially as a mother."

Kaori stared at her. Silent for a long time.

Mikan's vision blurred from either tears, or the death alice reaching her eyes.

"I forgive you."

Three words.

Three words that she never thought she'd hear. Especially from Kaori.

She smiled faintly. "Thank you."

"I never hated you, Mommy."

Mommy. She was still calling her Mommy.

Finally she looked back at the others.

Jamie was an unnatural pale green color, it seemed. Maybe she was seeing things. Jade looked mortified, probably because of seeing her mother again. Mitsuki's hands were covering her face, and she was leaning heavily against Damien, who had stopped biting his lip because it had started bleeding and looked like he was using Mitsuki as support to stand. Hotaru looked empty, numb, unable to feel anything and beside her, Ruka looked the same color as Jamie.

Natsume wouldn't look at her.

"I'm sorry… not just about Kaori. I came back, not really thinking about this. Not thinking… that I had come back only to die… I'm sorry that I only caused everyone more grief. If I hadn't come back, at least you'd think I was the nitwit I was before." She cut herself off before she said or did something stupid.

"…You're such an idiot." Hotaru said at last, voice shaking. She tried to say something else, but all that came out was a choked sob. She tried again, this time succeeding, "You _wanted_ to make us hate you so we wouldn't hurt when you died? _You're so stupid_ to think we could _ever_ hate you." Without another word, she ran out of the room.

Mikan stared blurrily at the door, before turning her attention back to the people left. First, she turned to Mitsuki and Damien. "You have to promise me you'll take care of her Damien," she started simply. "I've been pretending not to notice how you look at Mitsuki, and I swear if you hurt her, I will kick your ass despite not being here." Damien had the decency to turn pink and Mitsuki's sobs paused briefly.

She turned to Ruka. "I'm sorry for changing so much. And thank you… for making an effort to talk to me even though I probably scared you to death… please… tell Hotaru that I love her very much." Ruka nodded stiffly, unable to speak.

Kaori and Yuuki, who looked terribly confused and scared. "Look… Yuuki, I won'tbe with you anymore-"

"You promised you wouldn't leave me! _You promised!_" Yuuki cried, grabbing onto her arm.

She swallowed. "I'm sorry I can never keep my promises. I need you… when I'm gone, I need you to do what Jamie says, okay? He knows what's best for you… so you both have to make sure to listen to him."

Yuuki started bawling hysterically, and Mikan forced herself to look at Jamie and Jade. They both stared at her with blank expressions, not believing what was happening. She pretended not to notice that Jamie's eyes had spilled over with tears, despite his rule of never crying in front of her. "I…" _what do I say to you?_ "…I'm sorry to leave you with so many responsibilities, Jamie…I'm sorry that I can't stay with you, forever, like I promised I would.

"Jade, I'm sorry to have brought back these painful memories of yours, and I'm sorry I could never tell you what happened to me without you remembering. This time… you probably won't forget this time. And that makes me even more sorry. To never be able to explain anything to you…" her eyes flicked between her and Jamie. "There isn't enough time to tell you both how much you mean to me, and how happy I am that you broke me out of my shell and made me make friends… I love you both… so much more than you'll ever know."

_Natsume_.

Now to face the hardest person. She could barely handle looking at Jamie's distraught face, and now she would have to see the same look on Natsume's face.

Biting her tongue, she turned back to the doorway, where he still stood, jaw clenched. Taking a deep breath, she moved her eyes away from him. "Natsume I…love you…so much that it hurts… and I hate that I have to leave you right after we met again and sorted out our issues…" she felt her throat tighten. "But… I know that you can move on." _Don't forget me._ "And find someone else to hold and love…" _Don't find someone else, please_. "Someone… that will never leave you, like I have too." She forced her gaze back to him, not surprised to see that he was shaking his head. "You can't continue to love me when I'm dead, Natsume. You… have to move on."

Black fog clouded her mind, and she felt her body tilt forward, heard Jamie yell out her name, and felt his arms catch her as she slid away, out of their lives, completely.

* * *

><p><strong>OH SNAP. I AM A BITCH. I UPDATE AFTER SO LONG… TO GIVE YOU THIS? Well, forgive me if it's bad, but it's one thirty in the morning and I am writing this instead of sleeping. Get over it.<br>**

**I have been listening to Evanescence's song My Last Breath and Skillet's song Awake and Alive pretty much the whole time I've been writing this. With the occasional Avenged Sevenfold break. God this has been hard. I had no idea how to go with this, but it turned out fine, so… good? Review and scream about what I've done if you please.**

**Okay. You have no idea how hard it was for me to make Mikan not have this in when she was apologizing to Jamie:**

_**'I'm sorry I rejected you when you told me you were in love with me.**_

_**I'm sorry I pretended it never happened.**_

…

_**I'm sorry I fell in love with you.'**_

**You. Have. No. _Idea_. How much I wanted to make Jamie and Mikan get together. I was not intending them at all, but I somehow it happened. And don't pretend there isn't some part of you that wanted them together.**

**But I couldn't do it. This is a NatsuMikan fic, not JaMikan. But it still disappoints me horribly. If I could make Mikan have two boyfriends, it would be Natsume and Jamie. Definitely.**

**God dammit. Oh well. Mikan could not have said that in front of Natsume, either. I mean. Her last words saying she was in love with someone else? Yeah, no. Not happening. I'm a cold bitch, but I'm not _that_ cold (Says the girl that just killed(?) Mikan off.)**

**But this is most certainly not the end! There's still the next chapter… and probably another two after that? I have no idea. I didn't even think this story would get to twenty chapters, let alone get fifty reviews. I'm flattered.**

**And probably about to get a mouthful from panicking readers.**

**I WILL UPDATE SOON. I HAVE BEEN PLANNING THIS MOMENT SINCE I STARTED THIS FANFIC. AND I WANT IT TO HAPPEN.**

**WOO CAPS LOCK.**


	22. Comatose

**I have no idea how to start this… so I'm stalling with this authors note…**

**I changed the summary... kinda late for that as this is almost over.  
><strong>

**First, I am pleased with the reaction everyone had. Crying? I LAUGHED WHILE WRITING IT. I need serious help. I mean, I wasn't laughing at killing Mikan. I was laughing because my brother was being stupid, and I was imagining you people's reactions. But still.**

…

**Still don't know what to write…**

…

**Guess I'll just start and see where it takes me.**

**Oh, and listen to Fireflight's song 'You Decide'. It's suitable for this chapter.**

_Blackness._

_For a dull moment, that was all that there was._

_Then, like a firework, there was a flash of bright light to the left of her._

_Mikan turned towards it, quick with confusion._

_And froze._

_Her mother, father, and grandfather stood in the light. They didn't do anything._

_Just stared at her expectantly._

_Automatically, her legs started carrying her towards them._

_And then there was another flash of light behind her._

_She turned around slowly, expecting to see another bright, white light._

_Instead she was facing what looked like a black hole. No faces of loved ones stood in it. It seemed to just be another one of the 'fireworks'. But with nothing inviting about it._

_She turned back to where her family was._

_She frowned. Were they further away now, or was she imagining things?_

_No._

_She most certainly wasn't imagining it._

_They were moving away from her._

"_Don't leave me again!" she shouted, running after them now._

_In what felt like seconds, she was in front of her family, and the light, again._

"Mikan! No! You can't leave me!"

_She turned around quickly._

_That had most certainly been Natsume's voice. But he wasn't here._

_She turned back to her family, relieved to find them still in front of her, and not moving away again._

_But her mother was pointing to the black hole, smiling bitterly._

_She turned again, frowning. It looked the same._

_And then everything clicked together, and she remembered what was happening._

_She was dying._

_This bright light, with her family inside it, was death. Heaven. The afterlife._

_Instinctively she yanked away from it, eyes widening in shock._

_So what was the black hole? Hell?_

_She flinched when the black hole rippled, and a voice ripped through it, _"Please wake up, Mikan. _Please!_"

_So it was life._

_She was being given the choice to live or die._

_But why?_

_She should be dead. The death alice was inside of her; how could she possibly live?_

_She turned back to her parents and grandfather again blankly._

_With watering eyes, she mouthed, 'I'm sorry." And ran back towards the black hole._

_The voices from it got louder, different. Familiar voices, ringing with sadness, pleading with her._

Natsume, Jamie, Hotaru, Jade, Ruka, Damien, Mitsuki, Claire, Arden, Narumi, Shiki, Kazumi, Yuuki, Kaori.

_Other voices, too, of her old friends:_ Yuu, Sumire, Nonoko, Anna, Nobara, Tsubasa, Misaki, Tono, Koko, Kitsuneme, Mochiage, Youichi.

_At the last second, she looked back._

_Her mother was still holding that bitter smile in place; her father, his arm wrapped around Yuka's waist, was waving with a giant grin on his face._

_Her grandfather had his hands wrapped around his neck, pretending he was choking himself. He had always had a twisted sense of humor._

_With one final step, she entered the black hole._

**That didn't turn out as emotional, creepy and… long as I planned it. Oh well. Carry on to the next chapter. And please take a moment to review telling me if I should, when I'm done this fic, write it in Natsume's POV, just to know what he was thinking and feeling and junk.**


	23. Hear Me

If ever there was a feeling akin to being sucked into a vacuum, she was sure this was it.

Her bones felt like they were being crushed, there was an extremely annoying pressure in her head, and she was left breathless.

The first thing she was aware of – besides the fact that she couldn't move- was Jamie's voice.

"_Breathing life  
>Waking up<br>My eyes  
>Open up,<br>Comatose  
>I'll never wake up without an overdose of you,<em>"

"Would you shut up!" Natsume's voice snapped in response to the singing.

"No. Never," Jamie replied. "Don't you know me better than that yet?"

"I wish I'd never met you," Natsume seethed.

There was a gasp of mock hurt. "Don't say that! We get along so well and are the best of friends!"

There was a moment of silence before both of them laughed.

Wait a minute.

Natsume laughed? What the hell?

Well, Jamie had that effect on people.

And it wasn't as much a laugh as a quiet chuckle.

But the fact that they were even talking was shocking.

She was pretty sure Natsume hated –highly disliked, at least- Jamie, and Jamie had a grudge on him for knocking him down a staircase.

"But seriously, stop singing," Natsume said.

"No. When she is awake and alive again, the first thing she will hear is my voice."

"Not mine?" he paused. "I caught that Skillet reference, by the way."

"Good, I've trained you well. Mikan loves Skillet and will appreciate your knowledge of them. Maybe."

"Which was why you were singing _Comatose_?" Natsume asked, ignoring the last part of his comment.

"Actually, that was because she's in a coma. But sure."

Oh _hell_. She was in a coma? Where was the fun in _that_?

"So, where was I in that song?" Jamie questioned.

"Like hell I'm telling _you_."

Jamie was silent for a few seconds. "Then I'll start from the beginning!"

"Oh God, why?" Natsume groaned.

Mikan desperately wanted to open her eyes and see his expression, but her eyes were glued shut.

"Oh, ha-ha, really funny. My voice is fucking amazing," Jamie grumbled.

"Your voice sounds like a cow getting stabbed in the eye, shit-face," Natsume snapped in reply. "Or would that be shit-voice?"

A sound that resembled a cough mixed with a laugh escaped her throat, and there was silence again momentarily.

"See? Mikan laughed, she agrees," Natsume said at last.

"No. She _coughed._ She wouldn't laugh at you insulting me," he took on a pathetic tone. "She loves me to much to let you mock me."

"Oh please, spare yourself. Mikan mocked you whenever she got the chance and you know it, so what's so bad about me doing it."

"I hate your guts," Jamie scoffed. "Why don't you get a life and leave this bedside once in awhile?"

"Why don't _you_?" Natsume retorted hotly. "I'm staying with her until the hospital's visiting time is over."

"…Twenty-seven."

"What?"

"This is the twenty-seventh time we've had this conversation."

"Jesus Christ, you _counted_?"

"Don't judge me!" Jamie yelled jokingly. "It's been two and a half fucking years, I get bored, get over it."

_TWO AND A HALF YEARS!_

She was pretty sure she had been in the dark place for less than ten minutes, but here it had been over two years? Great. Just _great_.

Well, time for her to wake up them.

"Just admit it, you won't leave her side because you're in love with her," Natsume snarled.

"We've had _this_ conversation forty-eight times," Jamie said. He groaned loudly, "You just won't let it go, will you? Mikan made it clear she's in love with you, so shut it."

"I know _her_ feelings. I'm not concerned about them. I'm concerned about _your_ feelings for _her_."

"I have no intention of stealing Mikan from you."

"That doesn't answer the question!" Natsume snapped.

Jamie groaned again. "Do my feelings for her really matter?" a hint of desperation made it's way into his voice.

_Why aren't you denying it, Jamie?_ Mikan wanted to ask. Her heart clenched with fear. _Was_ Jamie in love with her?

"They do," Natsume said quietly. "I don't want you to be hurt if I'm with her. I hate to admit it, but you've grown on me, and Mikan cares about you a lot. So just answer the question."

"I've answered it almost fifty other times."

"But not _clearly_. Say either you _are_ in love with her, or you're _not_. Not 'you know I love her', not 'we've had this conversation this many times'. Just answer it."

Jamie sighed loudly.

_Deny it, Jamie._

"It really matters?"

"It really matters."

Another sigh.

"I'm not in love with Mikan. I've never been in love with Mikan." Relief erupted in her chest. "I do love her, but I'm not _in love_ with her. She's like my sister… except not as annoying… usually. I'm not ashamed to admit that I had a crush on her when I was thirteen – every boy in the school had a crush on her at one point-"

"Did Arden?"

"Fuck no. If he looked at any girl that wasn't my sister I'd beat the shit outta him. That's not the point. I mean every single guy… assuming he wasn't gay. Mikan is the most important person in the world to me, and I'd die for her without a second thought, but like I have been saying, I'm not in love with her. I'm not a jerk – I wouldn't date Claire if I was in love with Mikan. You probably don't know this, because I haven't even admitted it to her yet, but I do love Claire. Like, a lot…" he trailed off in embarrassment.

Natsume was silent for awhile. "If I ever find out you're lying, I'll kill you."

"I'm _not_ lying. You make me answer these questions, then when I do, you think I'm lying. That's why I find no point in talking to you," Jamie sighed.

"Just remember that she's _mine_," Natsume growled.

"Possessive, aren't you?" Jamie asked, and she could imagine his eyebrow raising condescendingly. "That's fine, she is too. Have fun with _that_."

"What do you mean she's possessive? She helped that other girl flirt with me."

"That's because Alexandria wouldn't have left her alone otherwise – she didn't want to help her flirt. And I mean Mikan is possessive. _Very._ If she's awake when Valentines Day roles by… pray for your fan-girls lives."

"Like I care if they live," Natsume scoffed.

"That's cold," Jamie muttered. "They're people too."

"Annoying people."

"Mikan is an annoying people. Do you want her to die?"

"_No._ She's a different kind of annoying."

Mikan let out a noise that resembled a hiss.

"Do you think she can hear us?" Jamie asked in amusement. "Because that was well timed."

"Doctor said she might be able to. She hasn't responded to any of the other insults we've given her, though."

Nice, Natsume. Nice.

Jamie laughed. "If she can hear you, she's going to kill you when she wakes up."

Damn right she would.

She tried to open her eyes again, but they remained shut, much to her dismay.

"Just remember that she'll kill you too."

"What? Why would she kill me?"

"You told the whole school what happened to her."

"She _told_ me too!"

"She told you to because she thought she was going to die. We're lucky that Imai got her brother before it was to late."

Ah, so _that_ was how she was alive.

"She told you to move on, too," Jamie noted. "You have yet to do that."

"As long as her heart is beating, I will never love someone else," Natsume spat. "She didn't _want_ me to move on – she was telling me to because she thought she would die."

"Don't you already love someone else?" Jamie asked, and Mikan felt her glowing heart shatter.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Wellllll," Jamie drawled. "You've taken a very big liking to Yuuki and Kaori."

"…Shut up. That's not what I meant."

"Admit it, you adore those two."

"I said _shut up_."

"You want Mikan to wake up so you can raise them together, right? With Youchi, too, of course."

"Fuck you."

There was the sound of a door opening. "Visiting time is up for today, guys." A feminine voice said.

"Right-io then. Oh, before you leave," Jamie added, "Mikan's reacting to the things we say. She laughed when Natsume mocked me, and… hissed? When he mocked her. Should we not get our hopes up?"

Who Mikan presumed was the nurse, thought this over. "It might be a good sign, but I wouldn't hope to much. I'll talk to the doctor later, alright?"

"Yeah, thanks…"

"See you two tomorrow, I'm assuming?"

"Yeah, later." The door closed again. "You know, we see her almost everyday, but I have no idea what the fuck her name is."

"It's Mi," Natsume replied. "She was a nurse here when I was doing missions. Been here forever."

"Ah. Well, let's go then." There was the sound of a chair scraping across the floor, and she felt Jamie smack her face lightly. "Get better you stupid girl."

"You don't need to hit her," Natsume snapped.

"Whatever," Jamie replied, voice further away than it had been before. She heard the door open again, and Jamie's footsteps leading away.

It was silent for a minute, and she wondered if Natsume had left with him, when she felt his lips brush her forehead. "Wake up soon, Mikan."

"_Whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiipped._" Jamie called from somewhere down the hall.

Natsume let out an irritated sigh. "Or I'll kill him."

Had she been able to, she would have laughed.

Instead, she waited until she heard the door close, before trying to move, open her eyes, anything.

**It is… one thirty in the morning, and I should really be in bed, but here I am, gracing you with an update!**

**Lucky you people.**

**I have been writing this for like… over an hour now. Listening to Avenged Sevenfold, Kelly Clarkson and Fireflight. And Skillet. And The Used, and Disturbed. And about four other bands… but mostly A7X.**

**But this needed to be put up. I promised I would update, so here you go.**

**So, please review and tell me what you think, and if you think I should write this in Natsume's POV, or just finish this and move on.**

**Also, anyone have any idea why FFN keeps disabling private messages? Cause it's done this to me like, five times now… and it's annoying. I like getting messages, and I like sending them, and it is being dumb. But I guess that doesn't matter much to you.**

**SO WHO ELSE IS HAPPY THAT MIKAN IS ALIVE?**

**And remember how I wrote 'as she slid away, out of their lives, completely.'? Yeah. She did slip out of their lives completely. This will be explained soon. (****Cough-she-died-but-got-revived-cough****)**


	24. Awake and Alive

**I love how I never know how to start chapters…**

**I also love my reviewers. I've had like, three or four people tell me I deserve more reviews… and I'm sitting here thinking, "I wasn't even expecting ten…" It's so awesome. And amusing. Also, thanks to everyone's support about my step-father **

_Where were the nurses?_

Mikan had been awake – actually awake, out of the coma – for an hour now, and nobody had come to check on her. These nurses weren't doing their jobs properly.

She glanced at the clock for the umpteenth time.

Eight a.m.

Visiting hours would start now.

Would Jamie and Natsume show up?

She tried to imagine how they would react, seeing her sitting up right, eyes open. It was painful, but after forcing herself through the night, she had managed to get into this position, and could even get some words out… but not a lot at once.

She would have called a nurse using one of the calling buttons, but it had been disabled and had a note on it saying, '_Stop getting your hopes up, our doctors have other things to do_.'

Which led her to decide Jamie and Natsume had clicked it a lot.

It had been three days since her… near death experience in the weird dark place where her family had been, and every day, without fail, Jamie and Natsume showed up (when classes ended).

And sat beside her.

Arguing about stupid things ("Your socks are ugly." "They're _socks_." "They're _ugly_ socks." "Why are you even looking at my socks? Stop." "Don't tell me what to do!").

Mocking each other ("You're an idiot." "What? What did I do?" "Nothing. You're just an idiot.").

Mocking _her_, the girl in a coma ("Ha-ha! Her nose is running… it makes her look just _that_ much more ugly.").

Her best friend and fiancé were being complete jerks to her while she supposedly couldn't do anything about it.

But she was going to hurt them now that she was somewhat capable of movement. Her legs wouldn't move, though, so she couldn't kick them… yet.

She perked up slightly when she heard footsteps approaching.

"Why are _you_ here? Classes are starting soon." That was most definitely Jamie's voice.

"Why are _you_?" Natsume's voice retorted.

There was a pause.

"I dunno," Jamie said at last. "Something felt… _off_. So I came here."

"Really?" Natsume sounded surprised. "That's why I came, too."

"…I'm not sure I like the fact that both of us felt something off and decided to check on Mikan. Let's hurry, shall we?"

"Don't talk down to me," Natsume snapped, but she heard both of their footsteps quickening.

A couple of seconds later, the door opened, revealing Natsume.

Upon seeing her, he froze in shock and his mouth fell open.

"What? What's wrong?" She heard Jamie demand behind him, before he shoved Natsume aside. His reaction was that of Natsume's.

There was a long awkward silence before Mikan decided to speak up. "Boo."

Jamie actually flinched and squealed, whereas Natsume continued staring at her incredulously.

Jamie, regaining a small amount of his wits, stuttered, "Mikan, you-you-you-"

"Are awake," she finished for him, seeing as he was getting nowhere with his stuttering.

It was at this moment that he fell flat on his face, unconscious.

Mikan stared down at him with wide eyes. _That_ had not been the reaction she was expecting. But it gave her something to mock him with, so it still worked fine with her.

The thump of Jamie's head on the floor also seemed to snap Natsume out of his trance. He slammed his mouth shut quickly, before opening it again. "Mikan you-"

"Are awake," she finished again. "Please don't faint like he did."

"I'm still awake," Jamie offered from the floor.

They ignored him.

"I-" Natsume's voice cut off momentarily. "I'll go get the doctor."

"No need," a new voice cut in. Natsume glanced behind him and moved out of the doorway to let Subaru Imai in. "One of the nurses heard a terrified squeal and told me to come."

"I-I wasn't scared!" Jamie scoffed, still on the floor.

Subaru stepped over him to get closer to Mikan. "How are you feeling, Mikan? You've been in a com-"

"Coma for two and a half years. I know. I could hear these _idiots_ talking," Mikan interjected.

The smallest flicker of defensiveness rose in Natsume's wide eyes, but before he could protest, Subaru continued asking questions.

After thirty minutes of him finding different ways to ask, "How are you feeling?" he seemed somewhat satisfied.

"I'm sure my sister will be very glad to see you when she is allowed," he said at last.

"What do you mean _when_?" Mikan questioned in annoyance. "I'm fine now! I wanna leave!"

He gave her an unimpressed look. "You just woke up after over two years. You need rest."

That didn't make any sense.

"But I need to thank her for getting you so I didn't die!" She protested.

"You can see her later. Until then, no visitor's, except maybe the principals. Besides, your legs aren't working, so you aren't fine."

Mikan froze. "I don't want to see Kuonji, he-"

"Kuonji is not a principal here anymore," he said calmly. "A few days after your accident, he was fired and left. He hasn't been back since."

"Narumi's the new ESP. He's still a teacher, too, though," Jamie added.

She felt like a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders. "But I still want to visit Hotaru! And everyone else! And you can't not let me visit with Jamie and Natsume – they never leave my side, that's not fair!"

He looked irked, so she stopped yelling at him. "They can visit while I tell your uncle the news. He and the other principals would probably like to speak with you." He quickly walked out so she couldn't continue protesting.

There was another awkward pause.

"Um, can you move, Jame?" Mikan asked hesitantly. He was still on the floor.

"Probably, but I'm not sure I'll be able to stay on my feet." He paused. "Wait, you said you could hear me and Hyuuga?"

She nodded, frowning.

"Oh _shit_," he muttered. "Any insults I used I didn't mean, I promise you. I know I've used a lot, but…"

"I've only been able to hear for three days, Jamie," she said icily. "Would you like to tell me all the _other_ insults you've used?"

A meek "Oh. _Shit,_" replied. "Oh wait, that was actually when you started responding to the insults."

"Yes it was," she agreed. "I hissed at you – or rather Natsume. I am not an annoying person," she added, glaring at them. "That reminds me," she flailed her arms in Jamie's direction. "I need to kill the both of you. Except I can't move my damn legs." She scowled. "When I can move, you will both regret insulting me. With your _lives_."

"I… sorry," Jamie muttered.

She turned to Natsume expectantly. He still had yet to say anything and was still just staring at her blankly. "Are you still alive, Natsume?"

For another few seconds he just silently stared at her, before whispering out a shocked, "You're really alive."

"Erm, yeah. I didn't really die…"

"Actually," Jamie started, "you did. Twice. Once right after Subaru arrived, and one randomly about… eight months ago? You're heart stopped randomly. Natsume totally panicked and started yelling that you couldn't leave him. And then a few seconds later, before the doctors could even do anything, your heart started again. You really confused the doctors."

Mikan stared at him for a moment. "I died…?" she questioned quietly.

"Mhm." He made it seem completely normal.

She swallowed painfully. "The second time was eight months ago?"

"Something like that."

She breathed deeply. "What… Natsume… Natsume said, '_Mikan, no, you can't leave me! Please wake up, Mikan! Please!_' right?"

They both stared at her, again shocked. "I thought you were only able to hear the last three days…?" Jamie muttered quietly.

"I… Mom…" she trailed off blankly and blinked a couple of times. "It… it was so weird. There was this bright light-"

"Oh God, how cliché can you get?"

She ignored Jamie and continued, "An-and my mom and dad and grandpa were in it… and there was another thing behind me – like a black hole, or something – but there wasn't anything in it that I could see. I…I chased after the light, because my family was in it, but Mom kept pointing to the black hole, and I couldn't figure out what she was trying to tell me. But Natsume's voice suddenly came out of the hole, it-it-" she paused and breathed shakily. "If I had taken one step closer to my family I would have died…if Natsume hadn't called out, I'd be _dead_."

Jamie looked at her with wide eyes. "You were in some creepy between life and death situation for two years, but you make it seem like it was only a few minutes."

"It…it really only felt like it was ten at most." Mikan muttered. She turned and stared at Natsume. "Natsume… you _saved_ me."

He blinked, looking frazzled. "I didn't do anything…"

"Natsume, if you hadn't yelled for me to wake up, I'd be dead." She continued to stare at him. "_You saved me._"

"I…told you I would." He looked away from her uncomfortably.

"Natsume, I swear if my legs worked, I would tackle you to floor and hug the shit out of you." She still stared at him with amazement while he gave her a weird look.

Jamie fake-gagged. "You just woke up and I want to throw up. This is a new record, it usually takes at least more than an hour for you to make me want to."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Mikan demanded.

"It means you're gross. And ugly. Fat. Annoying. A smart-ass. Need I go on?"

She glared at him. "You know, it's insults like that that make people kill themselves…"

"But you're not going to, because you know I'm kidding around," Jamie pointed out.

"I dunno, Jame. I am _very_ hurt by this," she said, widening her eyes with fake hurt.

"Stop being butt-hurt. I was kidding."

"So you mean to say that I am not gross, I am pretty, skinny, and have a lovely attitude?"

"No… I- shut up, you're putting words in my mouth."

"No. Logically I can't put words into your mouth."

"See, there's the smart-ass I was talking about." He grinned, sitting up. "If I pinch myself, will I wake up, and this will have been a dream?"

"No, but I am willing to pinch you if you want me too," Mikan answered, smirking.

He looked at her silently for a moment. "You have no fucking idea how happy I am to hear your voice, even if you are threatening me."

"You didn't need to add in the f-bomb, but it's the thought that counts."

He rolled his eyes at her. "That's it? Are you not happy to see me?"

"Well, for me it's been like, ten minutes. For you it's been a couple of years." She paused. "Why don't you hate me?"

He narrowed his eyes at her, confused. "Hate you? Why would I hate you?" He paused, and then added, "Because you didn't let my mom see me?"

She nodded.

"I don't hate you for that, moron. I'd hate you if you _did_ make me talk to her, and I wish you had told me sooner, but I don't hate you. God, you're stupid to think I could ever hate you."

She blinked and turned to Natsume. "Why don't _you_ hate me?" she questioned awkwardly.

He looked at her blankly.

"I mean, what could've very well been my last words was telling you to not love me. You should think I'm a bitch."

"I do," he said simply, and she narrowed her eyes. Seriously? Did he have to be so blunt about it? "That doesn't mean I was going to give up on you."

She glanced down to her legs, then snapped at them angrily, "Move so I can hug them!"

"Miss Sakura, please don't yell at your legs," Subaru said, walking back into the room.

Mikan looked around innocently. "I don't know what you're talking about…"

He gave her an unamused look. "The principals will be here momentarily." He turned to look at Natsume and Jamie. "You two need to leave now. You will be notified when you are allowed to see her again. It is requested that you don't tell anyone she is awake because it could cause an unneeded uproar. I will leave you to say your goodbyes." He turned swiftly and walked out of the room.

Mikan blinked. "I wish he wasn't so formal with me. Guess that happens after a period of time, though. I probably also scare him slightly." She stretched her arms towards Jamie. "Give me a hug before you leave."

He smiled widely. "Don't need to ask me twice." Before she could even blink, she was wrapped in his arms. "Don't you _dare_ do this to me _ever_ again," he mumbled into her hair. After a good half a minute, he pulled away from her. "You." He pointed at her for effect. "You better get better soon." He glanced behind him at Natsume, who was discreetly glaring at him. "Your turn. I'll leave you alone for this. You know, so I don't throw up." He grinned when Natsume gave him a murderous look, then walked to the door, turning back once to wave stupidly. He left, muttering something that sounded like: "This is so surreal…" There was a moment of silence before he called out, "I want to hear you two talking this whole time I'm out in the hall; don't make me cock-block you _again_."

Mikan pulled a face at the doorway. She turned to Natsume again after a moment. "You are very quiet," she noted. "You can pinch yourself if you think it'll make you wake up. But this is not a dream."

There was a long moment in which he just stared at her, before finally saying, "I'm really glad you're awake."

She smiled. "Of course you are. Can't you think of something better to say?"

He thought this over for about two seconds. "You're an idiot. I can't believe the last thing you thought you'd ever say to me was that I needed to get over you." He glared at her. "You're an idiot for thinking I could ever stop loving you."

She pretended to not hear Jamie's fake-gagging outside the room. "Come closer so I can hug you."

More fake-gagging sounds from the hallway.

"Shut up, Jamie!" She snapped in the direction of the door. "If you don't like it, leave! I hugged _you_ and Natsume didn't gag. Insufferable prick," she added quietly.

"I am _not_ Dave Strider!" Came the insulted response.

"…Did you _seriously_ just make a Homestuck reference _now_?"

"…Yeah…"

She turned her attention back to Natsume, who had moved to sit down on the side of her bed. Then, quickly, she wrapped her arms around his waist. "Thanks for, y'know, not actually getting another girlfriend. It would be really awkward to wake up to _that_." She laughed lightly.

He didn't reply, just returned the hug almost hesitantly.

"You _didn't_ get a new girlfriend, right?" she asked, only half joking.

"No," he denied quickly. "I think from the conversations me and Jamie have had you'd be able to gather that."

"I figured," she mumbled into the fabric of his shirt.

Another wave of silence fell, this one a lot less awkward than the first few.

"I don't hear talking," Jamie said in a warning voice.

"We aren't doing anything you moron," Mikan snapped back. "God, you're such a suspicious pervert."

Jamie mimicked her stupidly out in the hall, adding at the end, "Whatever. Just… ugh. I'm coming in now, and for the love of God, _please_ don't be doing anything."

Rolling her eyes, Mikan pulled away from Natsume as Jamie entered.

"Okay, good, thanks." He glanced behind him. "Doctors coming back to tell us to leave," he said to Natsume.

Mikan moaned, "I don't want you guys to leave…"

"Well they have too," Subaru Imai said, entering the room again. "The principals have just arrived and are coming down to your room now, and you two need to go to class. _Don't_ tell anyone about her waking up. Especially my sister," he added.

When they made no move to leave, he sighed. "Don't make me send someone down to force you two out. Talk to the HSP to find out when you can see her again – _after_ he speaks with her.

"Just go," Mikan sighed. "Better this than being forced."

"This is forced," Jamie grumbled.

"Go," Mikan said again, pointing at the door for emphasis. "I'll make sure my uncle let's you guys come back soon. _Go_."

Sending her one last miserable look, Jamie stumbled back out the door, turning to glare at Natsume until he was gone too.

They both stared at her.

"Go," she said more forcefully. "I'll see you again. Go."

Grabbing Jamie's arm, Natsume glanced at her once more, before dragging Jamie away.

**Meh, not a good ending for this chapter… will try and update soon.**

**Note that at points Mikan calls Jamie 'Jame'. It's not an error, it's just her shortening the name slightly so that it's pronounced Jay-mm instead of Jay-me.**

**Anyway, for those who would like an update on my step-father situation: He is still living with us, unfortunately. He doesn't have enough money to get a house, and we have a business at my house that he will be selling to get the money… probably. My mom is sleeping in my room to avoid him currently. Me and my brother are pretty much ignoring his existence. My mom is much the same… He probably won't end up moving out, admittedly. My mom and him fought all the time, I get hit every couple of months, blah blah blah. Always happens. But nobody in my family has forgiven him yet. I'm just assuming it will blow over as it always does.**

***Sniffle* just a few more chapters. Two or three, probably. This one didn't reach expectations, but they never do for me, so whatever.**

**I would like to get another chapter in before January 7th, so… hopefully I can do it.**

**Anyway, any more opinions on doing a Natsume's POV of this story? I have plenty of ideas for it, but it matters more if you guys would read it. I would be working on like, three stories at once, because I plan on getting a couple other ideas of mine up, but I am more than willing to do it for you guys.**

**So, uh, please review **


	25. EXTRA: God Forgive Me

**PLEASE READ -**

**Soooo… have no idea how to continue with the next chapter, so here I am, writing an EXTRA.**

**You read that right! This chapter is focusing way back when Mikan was raped. Literally. The night it happened, why it happened… and it will be in Kuonji's point-of-view (mostly). Any questions you have, I _will_ answer, even if you ask me in a review or PM, and the question itself will probably be answered in one of the few next chapters. And I _know_ there is going to be questions after this… _especially about Jamie._**

**I wasn't sure if I should do this or not, but I kept getting ideas for it and then I listened to Learning to Fall by Boys like Girls and it actually suited this extra-chapter, so YAY, INSPIRATION~ Anyway, continue on.**

**Six Years Prior**

Normal – Kuonji's POV

_Italics – David's POV_

Underline – Jamie's POV _(Italics for the past or his thoughts (it wouldn't do underline and italics at once.)_

"Why are we stopping?" Kuonji demanded as the limo stopped abruptly.

"Gotta get gas," the driver grunted. "Should probably stretch your legs while you have the chance.

He glanced out the window. The sky had become a dark blue color. Darkness would help with his plan. _Perfect_. He turned to his bodyguards. "I'm going to get some air, make sure the girl"-he motioned to Mikan with disgust-"doesn't escape."

When they nodded, he hopped out of the limo, glancing around. Today, he knew, was the day some students from the Gakuen Alice in America would be visiting Japan. Some of the students, anyway. Whoever took Japanese class and could afford this trip.

He walked a little ways, before taking a map out of his pocket, and letting his eyes scan over it quickly. Right about now, they would be only a few blocks away, if they were on schedule. He ran across the empty streets quickly, as to not miss them.

_There they were._ A group of people wandering the nearly empty streets, age mostly ranging from ten to fifteen.

_Damn_. He was hoping for someone a bit older for this job.

He could make do, though.

When their guide caught sight of him, she smiled in relief. "There you are. I was beginning to wonder if you were coming or not – word is things are rough in Gakuen Alice this year."

He nodded. "Some students are just out of line. They'll be fixed soon enough, Utau."

She smiled sympathetically. "Well, we were just heading to the park. Will you be joining us?"

He shot her a fake smile. "For a little while. Have to get back soon, though."

She nodded. "Of course."

They walked in silence to the little park that was only a block from where they were.

"Can you watch over the kids for a minute?" Utau asked, smiling sheepishly. "I need to use the restroom."

He nodded. _Everything's going according to plan._

When she had entered the woman's bathroom, he turned his attention to the students, trying to pinpoint the oldest one of the group. Disappointingly, most seemed to be around thirteen and under, but there was one that looked almost sixteen.

All the students were in little groups, probably of classmates, but the fifteen year old was with three other kids, one that looked to be about twelve and the other two fourteen. The fifteen looking boy had blond hair, blue eyes and very dirty clothes with plenty of holes. _He's poor._ Kuonji inwardly smirked. _Excellent_.

Taking a deep breath, knowing he was risking everything, he stepped toward the group of four boys. "Do you want to make some money?" He asked, taking a handful of bills out of his pocket.

One of the boys, the twelve year old with black hair, glared at him with hateful blue eyes, but the other three perked up.

"Yeah. I'll do it," the blond offered unknowingly. "I'm David, by the way."

"I don't care what your name is," Kuonji snapped.

David blinked. "Well, what do I have to do?"

Kuonji glanced at the other three. "If you mention what I'm about to say to anyone, you can expect your life to end sooner than it should."

The boys – minus the black-haired one – glanced at each other, before shrugging and waiting for him to continue.

"I want you to rape a girl for me."

There was a moment of tense silence, before the two fourteen year olds turned and wandered away. The blond, David, stared at him, contemplating.

"The girl is weak, and I have people that can help you hold her down," Kuonji added. He flipped some of the cash around in his hand. "You'll get all of this if you do it for me." He took a photo out of his pocket and showed it to them. "This is her."

David admired it for a moment, murmuring something that sounded like, "Not bad…"

He resisted the urge to tell him he was disgusting and that she was eleven.

"This is disgusting! _You're_ disgusting!" The boy with black hair and blue eyes spat disgustedly.

"Shut _up_, Jamie!" The older boy spat. He turned back to Kuonji, eyeing him warily. "And you'll pay me?"

He nodded.

"No!" Black-haired boy lurched forward defensively, but the blond shoved him backwards roughly.

"I told you to fuck off! What I do doesn't concern you." He shoved the boy again, this time to the ground, and kicked him in the gut. "If you don't like this, leave."

The boy, Jamie, coughed violently, clutching his stomach.

"That wad of money"- he motioned to the bills Kuonji was holding-"I'll get that if I do this?"

He nodded and David thought this through thoroughly.

Then nodded. "Alright. When? How will you get me away from the teacher? Where?"

"No…" the boy on the ground choked.

"You'll be going past a gas station soon," Kuonji explained. "Tell the teacher you need to use the restroom, but you'll catch up with her at the hotel; it shouldn't bother her much, the hotel you will be staying at is just around the corner. When they're gone, I'll let the girl out of the limo for some air, and knowing her, she'll try and run. When you see her, go after her. Some of my guards will go with you. Then do it."

He nodded determinedly and held his hand out for the money.

Kuonji eyed him distrustfully. "You will do this?"

He nodded, and Kuonji passed the money to him hesitantly.

_**TimeSkip**_

"Come on students, this way to the hotel!" Kuonji heard Utau call. "This way, this way!"

He locked gazes first with the twelve year old, who stumbled over his own feet, then hesitated, glancing at the teacher hopelessly, before continuing after her, trembling. Then he heard the blond, David or something, call out, "I have to use the restroom!"

"We're almost at the hotel, David," Utau said exasperatedly.

"I need to use the bathroom… _now._"

"Well then go to that gas station right there. You have your map, right? The hotel is just around the corner, I'm sure you won't get lost."

"When are we leavin'?" the limo driver asked angrily. "I've been waitin' hours!"

"Go to the hotel for the night," Kuonji spat. "We're done traveling for the day."

The driver glared at him, but made his way to the hotel, passing David on the way across the street. David nodded at Kuonji as he walked past, and Kuonji waited a couple of minutes before opening the door to the limo and glaring at Mikan, who blinked and glanced at him, then back down at her lap.

"Get out here, you idiot," he spat hatefully. "We'll be leaving soon, get some air."

Hesitantly, she unbuckled herself and slid out the door. "What took so long for us to leave?" she questioned timidly.

"Flat tire," he lied, watching her out of the corner of his eye.

Mikan glanced around uncertainly, confused. Recognition flashed in her eyes, and she hid a smile. _She thinks she knows what she's doing_, he thought in amusement. Mikan shuffled for a moment before taking off down the road, and a moment later, David was after her.

"Go after them," he told two of his bodyguards. She hadn't even glanced at them during the ride, just stared blankly at her lap, so she wouldn't recognize them. "The boy knows what to do, and so do you."

At the last second, a wave of regret washed over him. _What if he mentions I hired him for this?_

Damn.

* * *

><p>"<em>Hey, little girl," David started coolly, stepping towards the girl. Kuonji had referred to her as Mikan at one point. "Are you lost?"<em>

_The brunette turned quickly, eyes terrified, before she relaxed slightly._

"_Are you lost?" He repeated, taking a few steps closer to her. The guards behind him laughed lightly at her obliviousness. He squinted at her through the dark. "Hey little girl, what's your name?" He asked almost unsurely. He could quite see her in the darkness properly, but he was pretty sure this was the right girl._

"_I'm not supposed to talk to strangers anymore."_

Anymore?_ He mused._ You should never talk to strangers. _Period._

"_Well, tell me your name, and then we won't be strangers," he said simply. He glanced around, stepping closer. "Are you alone?" He heard footsteps behind him, signaling the approach of the guards. "Why can't you tell me, little girl?" He reached for her, but she stepped back._

"_Don't touch me!" She spat, backing away._

_She was catching on._

_He grabbed her arm swiftly, and then threw her to the ground ungracefully. "C'mon, now, cooperate…"_

"_No!" She howled, "Natsume, help me!"_

_David pulled away quickly, glancing around. Nobody was with her, right? When no one showed up, he sneered down at her. "No one's going to save you. Give it up."_

"_He saved me!" She wailed. "He always saves me!"_

"_Well, he won't this time." He smirked and the guards moved forward as one to pin her to the ground. "You're on your own this time, little girl."_

_He watched her struggle for a moment, then cry out in pain. One of the guards flinched and she managed to scratch one of their faces._

_The guard took out a knife, eyes blazing with fury, and dragged it across her face, snarling something through gritted teeth._

"_No! No! Help me! Natsume!" She struggled violently, choked sobs escaping her lips, not even seeming to notice that her top had been ripped off._

_David swallowed. _God forgive me, but I need this money.

* * *

><p>Kuonji entered the hotel, eyes narrowed thoughtfully. "I need a room," he said simply.<p>

The man at the front desk handed him a key, muttered directions to it and told him the price for one nights stay, which Kuonji quickly paid, before stalking up the staircase, in no mood to wait for the elevator or listen to it's annoying music.

He glanced at the number on his key, trying to remember the directions. _Up one staircase, left, five doors down, room 208._

He scowled when he realized that the door was on the right side, not the left. He sighed, entering it quietly, muttering under his breath, "God forgive me for all of this…"

* * *

><p><span>Jamie gritted his teeth desperately.<span> _Don't do it, David. You're better than this._

Willing David not to in his head wasn't going to get him anywhere, he knew.

David needed the money. He was a no star, got the little money he had stolen from him, his parents had disowned him, and he had failed four grades.

"Don't touch me!"

He cringed.

_No!_

He couldn't go through hearing the pleas for it to stop, not again.

"_Why aren't you helping me, Jamie?" _Jade's sob echoed through his mind, and he remembered her blue eyes, identical to his, pleading with him.

Then the image of his father flashed through his mind. Red in the face from drinking, looking insanely furious. 

"_Why did you come back, Dawn?"_ His voice screamed in Jamie's head. He had thought Jade was their mother. _"Why are you back?"_

"_Dad, it's me, Jade! Not Mom!"_

His father's fist had snapped out and connected to Jade's cheek, and she shrieked in agony,

"_Jamie, help me!"_

Bloodshot eyes turned to him, and he flinched in terror. _"If you interfere, I'll snap your neck, Jared."_

Jared. Their dead older brother that had been the creator of this monster.

"No! Natsume, help me!"

He pressed his hands over his ears desperately as another scream erupted. _Someone help her!_

He heard a door open and shut. His memories paused, as he wondered if David had come back, and Kuonji, or whatever his name was, had found another person to do this.

He wasn't sure he could handle being in the same room as a rapist.

"No! No! Help me! Natsume!"

He pressed his face into the hotel pillow to soak up his tears and muffle his own screams. _God forgive me for not helping her…!_

* * *

><p>Kuonji walked out of the hotel in the morning.<p>

He had heard the screams last night, so he knew the deed was done. Now he just had to follow the direction the screams had come from and hope that no one had found her first.

He smirked when he saw her naked body crumpled on the ground, and motioned for the two guards he had left to wait. He had told the others to head back to Gakuen Alice when this was over.

"Well, well, well," he started, and Mikan stirred slightly. "If it isn't my little runaway."

She blinked at him and he barely refrained from grimacing. She had bruises everywhere, a long cut going across her eye, ripped bits of clothing were scattered around her and her body in general disgusted him.

"This is what you get when you run." He paused, wondering if David had let anything slip. "What happened?" He turned to his workers. "Go get some clothes. Now!" He added when they didn't move.

She remained silent as they walked off.

"Mikan," he started again, hating the sound of her name. "Tell me what happened." _That bastard better not have said anything about our deal._

She burst into tears and explained what had happened between hiccups and sobs, pulling on clothes that had arrived quickly. David hadn't said anything.

"Wh-why," she started. "Why did you bring me so close to my grandpa's house?"

Right. The second part of his plan. "Punishment of course." The rape was to teach her a lesson. The boy would be in her new school. It would torture her forever this way.

Killing her grandfather was to make up for her thinking she could run.

* * *

><p><em>A week later, David was sitting at his desk tiredly, guilt eating him alive… again.<em>

_It was driving him insane. He kept hearing her pleading for him to stop, for a boy named Natsume to save her, for mercy._

_But he had let selfish reasons take her innocence, scar her for life, ruin her forever._

"_What's wrong, David? You look bothered," Alexandria asked, leaning toward him._

_Jamie Swift watched him from across the classroom, eyes emotionless besides for the small bit of horror that always lingered._

_He flinched away from her. "Nothing. Leave me alone."_

_She scowled, insulted, and sauntered away, leaving only Jamie's eyes following his every move._

_He had probably lost Jamie's friendship by even considering the rape, let alone doing it and kicking him in the stomach._

_Not that he didn't regret everything._

_It wasn't well known that Jamie had watched his twin sister, Jade, get raped, right in front of him. Only a few friends knew, and David had only found out by over hearing Claire and Arden at one point._

_Their homeroom entered the classroom, yawning out a greeting._

_Some of the students responded with, "Good morning, Ms. Lee!"_

_Said teacher rubbed at her eyes tiredly and yawned again. "We have a new student today, students," she murmured, glancing toward the door._

_David froze when _she_ entered, Kuonji behind her. _No!

_Mikan stared straight ahead, but Kuonji's eyes flitted across the students, lingering on David for a moment. He glanced down at Mikan, who finally lifted her head and allowed her eyes to scan over the students._

_They froze when they past over him, a look of horror passing through them, before turning to the floor stiffly._

_Kuonji smirked at him as she started to introduce herself quietly._

"_Can't you talk louder?" Alexandria complained in an exasperated tone._

_Mikan flinched slightly but said nothing about the comment._

_Ms. Lee excused Kuonji and told Mikan to sit by Damien, who would be her partner from now on._

_Damien raised his hand and Mikan walked over to him silently. Damien greeted her by checking her out, then making a perverted comment about her body._

_A couple of people laughed, but Damien looked disappointed when she didn't react._

_David stared at the back of her shirt._

Redemption.

_He smiled widely, probably looking as insane as he felt._

_This was his chance. He could do his best to make her happy, to make up for his sins._

* * *

><p><span>Jamie shut his bedroom door behind him, and immediately slid to the floor, retching.<span>

It was her.

The girl that had gotten raped a week ago, was now here, in America.

He curled his fingers into the fabric of his shirt. 

The familiar haunted look was in her eyes.

The one he had seen in Jade's eyes before she repressed everything.

The one in his mothers eyes before she left her drunk of a husband and ditched her two children with him to be tortured.

The same one he saw every time he looked into a mirror.

When he heard her voice, he heard her screams from that night. He heard hers, his and Jade's.

How could he live with her so close to him and remain silent? Not tell her that the man that had entered the classroom had arranged for her to be raped? Had _paid_ someone to do it?

Assuming David did it.

He clamped a hand over his mouth to stop the scream that was threatening to come out.

No.

He couldn't survive with her there.

He'd die of guilt.

_Redeem yourself._

He blinked.

It was too late for that… right?

No.

He could make people smile. He would make her smile like the one she had in the photo him and David had been shown. He could make it up to her.

* * *

><p>"<em>Did you do it?"<em>

"_Did I do what?"_

"_Did you rape the girl?"_

_In the darkness of an almost empty classroom, David stared at Jamie Swift for a prolonged, silent moment._

"_Didn't I tell you to stay out of my business?"_

"_She's a classmate and friend now. This is my business too." From the determination in his eyes, David knew not answering wasn't a choice. _

_He was silent another long moment._

_Before lying smoothly, "No. He got someone else to do it."_

* * *

><p><strong>Wow. That was awful. I mean what I did, not how I wrote it. I'm proud of how it's written. It's got a lot of everything in it, and kinda reminds me of the chapters I write on my other file.<strong>

**So let me point some stuff out here:**

**Kuonji, David and Jamie all ask God to forgive them for what they've done, starting with David, which shows his remorse. He had a reason to do what he did, but in the end he drove himself crazy with the guilt.**

**Kuonji simply apologizes because he generally hates his life, and hopes for a better afterlife.**

**Jamie apologizes because he couldn't save her.**

**Second, they all use 'make it up' or 'make up' in the second part. David wants to make up for his sins, thus leading to his future insanity and love for Mikan.**

**Kuonji uses 'make up' as a revenge thing, however.**

**Jamie wants to make Mikan's life better, to make her smile and forget.**

**So, after seeing this, realize something: _David is not a bad person._ He is. But he isn't. He's simply insane. Abandoned. Bullied.**

**Anyway, here's a gift – a sneak peek at something that will be happening:**

"So what?" She spat, eyes tearing up. "You just became my friend because you felt _guilted _into it? Not because you seriously wanted to know me? Not because you actually cared?"

"No!" He cried, eyes wide. "Mikan, it wasn't like th-"

"Yes it was!" She snarled. "You couldn't save me when I was raped, so you thought you could save me after!" She turned and stared down at the familiar hospital bed. "Get out."

"Mikan please-"

Her head snapped back up so she could glare at him, and her anger burst forth. "_I trusted you!_" She screamed. "I trusted you more than anyone! _More than Natsume_! And you've been _lying_ to me for years! Our friendships a _lie_!" She picked up the empty food tray from beside her bed and threw it at him violently.

He flinched when it smashed into him, but didn't move. "Just let me explain," he pleaded.

Tears leaked from her eyes. "There isn't anything to explain, Jamie," she said coldly.

"Mik-"

"_Get out!_" She howled. "_Get out, get out, get out! I hate you!_" She threw some of the magazines on the hospital table at him. "I never want to see you again! Get _out_!"

One of the things she threw at him left a cut on his arm, and she almost got up to make sure he was okay when she spotted blood. She probably would have out of natural reaction if she hadn't just gotten a bullet taken out of her chest.

**So, what do you think of that sneak peek? Obviously Mikan has figured out what has happened in this extra, and she is furious. Betrayed. And got a bullet taken out of her chest? What? HA-HA, you will find out.**

**Happy belated New Years and Christmas, by the way. Think of this as a present.**

**Please review, I am (not) literally dying to know what you guys think.**

**Anyway, good morning to anyone else awake at four in the morning… why do I always write so early? I'm going to bed.**


	26. So I Thought

"I don't want to," Mikan groaned.

Jamie grinned, obviously amused. "It doesn't matter. You have to. Class started like, an hour ago. We were supposed to be there a long time ago, but you've been stalling. And now, we are outside the classroom. Are you ready?"

"No."

His smile only widened. "Great! I'll go in first, and then you can follow with that guy." He motioned to Natsume, who was standing behind them impatiently.

"He has a name," Mikan pointed out.

"Yeah, but he was mean to me, and now he is nameless and useless in my eyes."

Natsume rolled his eyes.

"Jamie," Mikan started slowly, "saying that you had a idiotic smile on your face was true, even if it was insulting. Hell, you're still smiling like that."

He scowled. "You both suck."

"The smiles gone, at least," Mikan chirped. "Now, go in there and act like a fool before I kick you." She grinned and kicked the air. "My legs move now, remember. I am quite capable of kicking."

He made a face at her before walking over to the door and throwing it open noisily. "Good morning my lovely classmates, and what a lovely, glorious, absolutely perfect morning it is!" He practically screamed.

There was a long moment of silence while he walked into the classroom, leaving Mikan and Natsume about five feet away from the door, just out of sight from their classmates.

_Baka!_

There was a thud, Jamie yelping and cursing, and a few amused laughs.

"You're an idiot," Hotaru's voice deadpanned. "Nothing is lovely or glorious or perfect about today."

"And there won't be with that kind of attitude!" Jamie snapped, still sounding happy. "Here I am, coming into class late just because I brought this wonderful, wonderful surprise, and you _shoot me_!"

"Ooh, what's the surprise?" Jade asked excitedly. "Is it cake?"

Jamie let out a loud, over exaggerated sigh. "Jade, does it _look_ like I have cake?"

"No… the surprise must not be that great then."

"Well _that's_ not a good attitude about this!" Jamie said, still sounding excited, but a little impatient, too. "Do you guys want to know this surprise or not?"

There was a sigh. "Jamie, just get it over with, I've been waiting a week for this moment," Narumi said.

"You're all such boring people," Jamie snapped, only to receive another shot from the baka-gun as a reply. "Damn it! Maybe I'll just take the surprise and go, would you like that?"

Beside her, Natsume sighed impatiently, and grabbed her arm. "Let's just go in now before they kill each other."

"No, you have to tell us the surprise!" Jade wailed inside the classroom. "You can't just tell us you have a surprise then leave!"

Jamie snorted. "Fine – _this time_. Next time I have a surprise, be more excited. God…" In a louder voice he added, "Okay idiot, come in now and bring the pervert with you."

Natsume rolled his eyes exasperatedly, stepping into the classroom and yanking her in with him.

Mouths fell open in shock, and Mikan took the approach of completely ignoring everyone except Jamie. "Who were you referring to as the pervert, me or Natsume?"

"Natsume the pervert, you the idiot."

Mikan nodded mutely, eyes locked on Hotaru, who had moved impossibly fast, pulling out her baka-gun and shooting Jamie multiple times, missing Natsume by an inch, and not shooting at Mikan, to her relief.

"You made us go through all that shit before you allowed her to come in?" Hotaru spat in disbelief.

Jamie, who had been sent flying into the wall from the impact of the bullets, simply grunted, clutching his stomach.

There was a loud squeal and Jade flung herself at Mikan, followed by Mitsuki a millisecond later. Both of them were making annoying, hyper, happy noises and jumping around her like rabbits.

"You're awake!" Mitsuki squee'd in a high-pitched, excited voice, wrapping her arms around her affectionately. "I can't believe it! I thought- I thought I'd never hear your voice again!"

Mikan smiled awkwardly, attempting to step out of her hug, but Mitsuki snarled threateningly, so she stopped struggling. "I'm sure you didn't miss me that much. It was barely any time…" _to me…_

Mitsuki's eyes narrowed. "Barely any time? _Barely any time?_" She shrieked. "I have been waiting for this moment for over two damn years! _Hug me!_"

Mikan hugged Mitsuki back, slightly amused, but mostly worried because none of her other classmates were capable of moving, nor did it look like they were breathing.

"Um," Mikan started, looking at the class sheepishly. "Hi there," she finished lamely.

Those few words seemed to snap them back to reality, and suddenly everyone was crowded around her, all blurting out things at once.

"When did you wake up?"

"You should have told us what you went through!"

"Why didn't anyone tell us you wake up?"

"We missed you so much!"

Mikan, feeling overwhelmed, yanked away from Mitsuki and hid behind Natsume.

"Now, now, everyone calm the hell down," Jamie said, stepping away from the wall and standing beside Natsume. "You're overwhelming her. Ask things one at a time."

Everyone, now quiet, glanced at each other to see who would go first, when Hotaru stepped forward, standing in front of Jamie and Natsume.

"You two, move."

They did so without hesitation, knowing the consequences.

Hotaru glared at her, looking half-infuriated, half-relieved. "How long have you been awake, idiot?"

"A week," Mikan mumbled, glancing at Natsume and Jamie.

Hotaru's eyebrows raised in surprise. "Who knew you were awake?"

"Natsume, Jamie, the principals, a few nurses and your brother."

Hotaru's eyes narrowed dangerously. "My brother knew?"

Mikan nodded. "He said not to tell anyone because you'd kill him, but I don't really have a problem with that."

She glared at Natsume out of the corner of her eye. "Why did they know you were awake?"

Mikan shrugged. "None of the nurses came to check on me in the morning, and they came by and found me awake."

Hotaru looked irritated by her lack of knowledge on this. "A week, and you two didn't tell me?" she demanded, turning to Jamie and Natsume, looking murderous.

Jamie glanced around with a fake innocent expression, but Natsume completely ignored her.

Hotaru turned her attention back to her. "You do realize that Swift – the boy, not the girl – told us everything that happened to you?"

Mikan looked down and nodded silently.

There was a long silence before: "You could have told us. We wouldn't have judged you, idiot."

Mikan smirked at the floor. "But you would. You are. It's not like I could walk up to you and say, 'Hey guys, while I was gone, I got raped, watched my grandfather get stabbed, got pregnant and then watched one of my twin daughters get beaten.'" She gave Hotaru an amused look. "I don't imagine that would've went over well."

"And hiding everything went swimmingly, I'm sure," was Hotaru's sarcastic reply.

Mikan looked back at the floor. "Well, if something ever happens again, I'll just blurt it out really quickly and pray you don't kill me."

"Nothing more will happen to you now," Hotaru said quietly. "Kuonji's gone."

Mikan's lip twitched. "That doesn't mean forever." She paused then added, "I can still get pregnant, y'know." She barely refrained herself from glancing at Natsume to see his expression.

Hotaru narrowed her eyes. "But if you know what's good for you, you won't."

Mikan shrugged. "Not any time soon. It's nothing I'd be worried about, I still don't want anyone touching me." She glanced at Mitsuki, who had reattached herself to her. "With some exceptions, I suppose."

"I'm sure Hyuuga will be one of those," Hotaru muttered darkly.

Mikan blushed. "Well – yeah, obviously. But I was referring more to Mitsuki, who is cutting off my circulation."

"Let's celebrate Mikan's awakening!" Jade cheered loudly. "Pizza on Jamie!"

"Wha-?" Jamie started, eyes wide.

"We have classes," Mikan interrupted.

Jade snorted. "Narumi-sensei made his escape awhile back."

Mikan glanced over to the teacher's desk, which was indeed empty. She blinked. "Well then." She looked at Jamie. "I want pepperoni."

"I didn't agree to this!" Jamie snapped.

She wrapped her arms around his waist, grinning. "But you'll get me pizza anyway?" She asked, flashing him puppy-dog-eyes.

"No."

She narrowed her eyes threateningly. "But you will anyway, right, Jamie?" she growled.

He stared at her for a long moment before sighing. "I don't have a choice, do I?"

She shook her head amusedly.

"Well then why are you even asking?"

"It's the polite thing to do."

He raised an eyebrow questioningly. "And since when do you care if you're polite?"

She shrugged, letting him out of her hug. "I don't."

He rolled his eyes.

"Pizza!" Jade said again, seeming more excited about the pizza than Mikan being awake.

Jamie rolled his eyes again. "Right, I'll buy pizza for everyone while we catch up with Mikan."

The class, taking to the idea of free pizza, started filing out, Mikan awkwardly trying to walk with Mitsuki dangling off of her.

She was talking quickly with excitement, and Mikan barely managed to make out, "Damien, Claire and Arden are in a different class, we should stop and pick them on the way to get pizza," without pausing for breath, she continued, "Damien's my boyfriend now, by the way. He confessed a few days after you went into a coma, because you kinda ruined it and gave it away and all that right before you, y'know, collapsed. Jamie and Claire are still together, too, but they argue a lot – not surprising I guess. Jade is-"

"Mitsuki!" Mika interrupted loudly. "Breathe, for the love of God!"

Mitsuki took in a deep breath, "So, what do you think of the things I said?"

"From what I understood, I think…" she paused thoughtfully. "I think you have horrible taste in men."

Mitsuki smiled. "He's not that bad, you know. He's a flirt, a used-to-be player, and argumentative, but he's not that bad."

Mikan gave her an unimpressed look. "Wow, sounds wonderful. What are some good qualities?"

Her grin widened. "He's hot as hell."

Mikan simply snorted.

"Okay. He also has a sweet side, cares about his friends, cares about _me_, and has an addiction to chocolate."

Mikan paused, mid-step. "_Damien_ is a chocoholic?"

Mitsuki nodded. "I know, right? You wouldn't think so, but he _loves_ chocolate. Probably more than me."

"Oh my."

Mitsuki shrugged. "It's fine, the feeling is mutual. I would pick chocolate over Damien any day."

"Of course you would," Mikan agreed.

"Ooh, look, this is the class he's in – as well as Arden and Claire. They came right back here and decided to stay until you woke up. They'll probably finish the year here, though, cause it's our last year in school." She sighed. "You've missed a lot. Nothing really important. But a lot of days that could've been spent with friends. One sec." Mitsuki bolted ahead and opened the classroom door with her usual shriek.

In response there was some cries of shock, and the teacher snapping at her, "Mitsuki! You cannot interrupt my class! Go back to your classroom immediately!"

Mitsuki leaned casually against the doorway. "I'm here to kidnap Arden, Claire and Damien."

She heard Arden's familiar laugh. "We can't just leave class."

Mikan stepped up into the doorway, leaning against the side opposite of Mitsuki. "Really, Arden, since when do you care about skipping class?" she drawled lazily.

Arden, who was sitting at the back of the classroom next to Damien and Claire, looked at her for a long, blank moment before blurting, "Mikan!"

Claire and Damien, who hadn't been paying any attention to the interruption, both looked up abruptly, mouths open in shock.

"Why, hello there," Mikan greeted with a small wave. "Jamie's buying pizza for us, so get off your lazy asses and come with us."

They stared at her disbelievingly.

"You guys do still like pizza, right?"

Damien, being the first to recover, stood up and strode over to them. "I'm up for pizza." He winked at Mikan as he passed, and she rolled her eyes.

Mitsuki, also rolling her eyes, waited for Claire and Arden to regain movement of their limbs and come to the doorway, before turning and slapping Damien's arm. "Don't wink at Mikan, you idiot! I'm right here, and" – she gestured wildly at where Natsume was standing next to Hotaru, who looked like she was cursing at him – "Natsume is right there! Do you want to die young?"

Damien shrugged uncaringly. "Force of habit." He raised his eyebrows at Mikan questioningly. "You woke up."

"Duh," Mikan replied.

Arden, snapping out of his shock, grinned widely. "It sure took you long enough! Do you have any idea how worried we all were?" Mikan opened her mouth to reply, but he continued, "A lot! Jamie called us, crying and sobbing and making weird choking noises. You scared the shit out of him. Have you apologized for that yet? You better have apologized. He was more upset than Natsume, I swear. He wouldn't talk, he wouldn't eat, he couldn't sleep. None of us were much better for the first week or so, but Jamie was like that for a few months. I dunno about Natsume, though. He wouldn't talk very much."

Mikan glanced around guiltily. She hadn't thought to apologize for making Jamie cry; it had fled her mind, which shocked her, because crying was something Jamie never did, and usually she would remember something like that. "I didn't think about it. He was so happy and jumping everywhere with excitement when I woke up, it left my mind."

He blinked. "When did you wake up, anyway?"

"Last week."

He frowned. "They let you out quick."

She grinned evilly. "I made them."

He looked thoughtful for a moment. "Jamie _has_ been acting like a complete idiot for the last week."

Claire blinked, seeming to finally catch up with what was happening. "Mikan! You- you're awake!"

"So I've been told," Mikan said, amused. She pointed at the group behind her her, more than half of who were grinning at her stupidly. "We're gonna go get some pizza. Wanna come? Of course you do," she answered for them.

Arden blinked. "It's always right to the point with you. Can't you say something like 'Oh my God, I've missed you guys so much I could kiss you all, but you're all dating people so I won't!'?"

Mikan looked at him as though he were stupid.

"Right, never mind then. Pizza sounds good."

"That's what I thought." Mikan bounded over to Jamie. "You have to buy them pizza, too."

He scowled. "You and Jade hate me, don't you?"

She grinned. "We do enjoy torturing you."

"Whatever, idiot. You owe me."

She shook her head. "I always used to buy things for you, and now you are paying me back. We will be even." She paused. "By the way, Arden reminded me – I'm sorry for what happened before the coma. I should have told you everything sooner, and I really didn't want to see you cry… ever. Thanks for not hating me for not telling you… or for telling you."

"It's kind of hard to hate your best friend when they're dying right in front of you," Jamie chuckled. "We promised each other that nothing would ever change between us, right?"

Mikan nodded.

"So it's not like I could start hating you. Ever. Just like you'll never hate me." Under his breath, he added, "Probably."

"I'll never hate you," she said simply.

"You remember that," he replied, frowning.

She stared at him questioningly. "This has something to do with that thing you never told me, doesn't it?" she asked slowly, eyes narrowing.

He avoided her eyes with his own. "I will tell you. But I'm still not ready." He looked around at their happily chatting classmates. "I don't want to ruin a happy day."

"Yeah, wait for a different day when everything's going wrong. That way it can just get worse. Yay."

"Your sarcasm is not appreciated," he said dryly.

"Sure it is. Just not by you."

"Hardy-har-har."

"Yeah, I'm hilarious, I know."

He rolled his eyes, then looked behind her at Claire. "I heard me and Claire's name in Mitsuki's blabber. What'd she say?"

"That you two argue, but are still together despite that. Did you know that Damien is a chocoholic?"

Jamie grinned widely. "It seems so wrong, doesn't it? But yeah, he _really_ loves chocolate."

"Hmm. Well, I'm going to go catch up with Natsume – I just remembered something." She quickened her step so she was walking between Hotaru and Natsume. "Hey, Natsume, do you remember a bit before I went into a coma, I fell asleep on your lap…?"

He blinked, looking confused, but nodded.

"Well, do you remember that I said at that time that I was so tired I felt like I could sleep for years?"

He looked baffled before he scowled darkly. "You had a horrible choice in words."

"Actually, I was thinking I had a pretty good choice of words considering what happened," she said, shrugging. "I'll never say that again, though, I assure you."

Still scowling, he nodded.

"You're both fools," Hotaru said beside her.

"I've been called worse," Mikan admitted shamelessly. "Mostly by Jamie. Or Alexandria…"

"Our class from America came down to see you in a coma," Jamie said from behind her. "Alexandria was unhappy."

"Cause she had to come see me in a coma? I figured that would make her happy," Mikan mused.

"She felt bad about being such a bitch to you," Jamie hummed. "It was kinda weird. I thought she'd try and take the chance to like, make out with Natsume or something, but _nope_, she just stood in the corner of your hospital room and looked guilty. She told me to tell you she was sorry."

She turned and stared at him. "You're lying."

He shook his head. "I swear. It was the weirdest thing ever, seeing her guilty about it…"

Mikan contemplated what she had been told for a moment. "Wait, so if the class from America came, then David…?"

"He came too," Jamie said, scowling hatefully. "He didn't go near you. Probably because Natsume and I were in the room. He looked like he was going to be sick. Pale, trembling… stood in the doorway quietly. At least he didn't molest in your sleep or something…"

"It probably wouldn't be the same without me screaming and kicking," Mikan growled.

Hotaru looked away from her, Jamie looked down, and Natsume's jaw clenched.

"Sorry," she muttered.

"Fool," Hotaru said again.

"You don't hear me denying it," Mikan said, grinning. "I'll take it as a compliment, actually!"

Hotaru just sighed.

"You're a special kind of idiot, Mikan." Jamie smiled in amusement.

"Yeah, shut up," she replied. She paused as they stepped out of the high school building, her eyes trailing to where she knew the elementary building was. Where Kaori and Yuuki were.

Natsume, catching where her eyes had went, whispered as the others continued without noticing her pause, "I'll take you to see them later."

She nodded blankly. "I really want to see them… and Tsubasa-senpai and Misaki-senpai… Youichi-kun… Tono-senpai…" she sighed quietly. "I've missed so much of what's been happening here, I can't believe it. First I left for four years, then I come back, and after a mostly unpleasant week, I'm in a coma for two years." She shook her head exasperatedly. "Why is my life so cruel?"

"Just be glad you're alive to be with us now," Natsume said simply. "You should be dead, but you're not. You're alive, and you're going to live life to the fullest, even we have to force you to."

She smiled widely. "Nothing says _live life to the fullest_ like pizza! Or Nutella. Or howalon…"

Natsume stared at her with a condescending expression.

"Don't look at me like that. They are all delicious."

"What's the hold up back there?" Jamie called.

Mikan caught up with him quickly, sending Natsume a mocking glare. "I don't think Natsume likes Nutella."

Jamie paused, looking momentarily confused, before he turned and glared at Natsume as he strolled up to them. "You don't like Nutella? You monster."

Mikan grinned and Natsume rolled his eyes. "I never said I didn't like it. I've never even had it."

Jamie's eyes widened in horror. "You have never had Nutella? Wow, how can you live without even trying it? You monster," Jamie repeated.

Natsume muttered something that sounded like 'why do I even bother with you people…'

"You love us," Jamie scoffed, apparently hearing him.

Natsume scowled. "I hate _you_."

"You love us," Jamie said persistently.

"I love Mikan. I hate you."

Mikan blushed and opened her mouth to comment, but Jamie said again, "You love us."

Natsume sighed.

"You. Love. _Us_," Jamie said after a moment.

"I didn't even say anything," Natsume snapped.

"Doesn't matter. You love us."

"Jamie, shut up," Mikan said finally. "God you're annoying."

"You love me."

"Oh for the love of—" she cut herself off and scowled. "Seriously, just shut up. Before I hit you."

"Kinky." He grinned.

She sighed between her teeth. "Shut your trap."

Before he could reply, Natsume's foot shot out in front of Jamie's, causing Jamie to fall.

Mikan burst out laughing and Natsume grabbed her arm, dragging her ahead so they weren't so far behind everyone else. "I can't believe you did that!" Mikan exclaimed between giggles.

He shrugged uncaringly. "He was asking for it."

She bit her lip to prevent more laughter from escaping. "He seriously did."

Natsume looked thoughtful for a moment, before he decided on saying, "You might want to delay your visit with Shadow and Misaki – she's pregnant."

Mikan fell silent momentarily, digesting the new information. "Misaki-senpai is pregnant," she said slowly and Natsume nodded. "Aw, that's so cute! And a little gross. But still! How long has she been pregnant?"

Natsume shrugged. "It's been about four months now, I'd guess. She's very hormonal, so she'll probably throw some sort of fit when she sees you."

Mikan nodded thoughtfully. "That must be awesome… not that she's hormonal, that is. That she and Tsubasa-senpai will have a family. All I wanted when I was younger was a normal family, because I only grew up with my adopted grandpa. I wanted a mom and dad, maybe a brother or sister. I wanted to grow up and fall head-over-heels in love with someone, get married to him, and have a couple of kids." She sighed. "That whole plan kinda fell apart considering my parents are dead and I fell in love with someone but had some else's babies." She ran her fingers through her hair awkwardly. "I'm going to guess Misaki isn't going to have any more kids after this one. Giving birth _hurts like hell_ and I don't think she'll be willing to go through it again."

"Would _you_ be willing to have more kids?" Natsume asked, watching her out of the corner of his eye.

She turned red at the implication. "W-what?" she squeaked. "You're stupid! What kind of question is that?"

Natsume just smirked, clearly pleased with her reaction.

Huffing, she replied properly, "I don't know. I never thought about kids after I had the twins. Maybe… but not anytime soon." She grinned at him. "Don't think I'm going to let you have your way with me before we're married, Natsume."

For a moment, he looked utterly shocked by what she said. Then his cheeks turned a barely noticeable pink. "You're an idiot. No one said I was going to try anything with you."

"What, so you expect me to have Jamie's babies?" she snorted. "Yeah right."

"I didn't say that either," he spat.

He looked like he was going to add something, but at that moment Jamie walked past them quickly, spitting, "I hate you both."

"You love us!" Mikan called as he zoomed ahead.

She snickered when he flipped her the bird in reply. "Wow. He can't take what he dishes out."

"You couldn't possibly have had expected him to reply nicely."

She shrugged. "C'mon, we're really far behind everyone else; the bus is going to leave without us if we don't hurry."

* * *

><p>"I want another slice," Mikan whined at Jamie, who was eating his third slice of pepperoni pizza.<p>

"Too fucking bad, piggy. You already had four pieces." He took a huge bite out of his piece and grinned at her smugly.

"Give me your piece!" She demanded, reaching for it.

He yanked it away from her, scowling. "Hell no, this is mine. You had four pieces already," he repeated, then stood up and starting walking towards Claire, who had been sitting next to Jade and Arden a little ways away from them, taking the near-empty pizza box with him.

When they had arrived at Central Town they had instantly went and got eight pizzas, then headed to a small park to eat them, separating into groups of two-to-four people.

Arden, Jade and Claire had taken a cheese pizza and had sat about five meters away from Jamie and Mikan because the two of them 'needed a little time together'.

Natsume had went and sat with Ruka and Hotaru under the shade of a tree, not really caring where he sat.

The rest of her classmates were scattered around in random groups, and Koko was offering to trade a piece of his cheese pizza for a piece of meat-lovers. Apparently he didn't know that they had not gotten one of those pizzas.

She scowled at his back. "_Fine._ I'll ask Natsume!" She scooted across the grass, over to the trio, grumbling under her breath. "Hey, Natsume?"

He glanced at her lazily.

"Can I have—?"

"No."

"I didn't even finish my question!" she cried in annoyance.

"I've already had my two pieces of pizza, you can't have any of this pizza, you pig," he replied, eyes trailing away from her and going up to the sky.

She turned to Hotaru hopefully. "Hota—"

"Touch this pizza and die."

Mikan sat back, scowling. "Ruka-pyon?"

He shook his head, smiling lightly in amusement. "One of your other friends might share," he suggested.

She glanced at Jamie again, but he was ignoring her, and Jade would never share her pizza, and would've stolen any extras left from Arden and Claire.

Mitsuki was sitting peacefully with a piece of pizza in her hand, Damien lying unconscious beside her. They had made a scene when Damien had tried to take one of Mitsuki's pieces. She had hit him in the head with a rock after awhile, promptly knocking him out.

She stared at her for another moment before coughing, "No thanks. Mitsuki is kinda terrifying when it comes to food."

Hotaru and Ruka looked over at Mitsuki, Hotaru looking slightly amused, Ruka nervous.

"I took a cookie from her once," Mikan said thoughtfully. "She didn't talk to me for a week. It was quite amusing." She sprawled out in the grass, yawning.

After a few minutes of silence, there was a tap on her shoe.

She opened one eye and scowled at Jamie's face. "Unless you're here to give me pizza, I don't want to see you."

He grinned. "I'm not here to give you pizza. Jade, Arden, Claire and I are going to go window-shop and terrorize people."

Mikan sat up. "Cool, can I come?"

He shook his head and she scowled. "You're not supposed to overwork yourself, and you already have. Natsume's going to take you back."

She glanced at Natsume, who had one eyebrow raised. "I am?"

Jamie nodded.

"I sense an ulterior motive…" Mikan hissed.

He glanced around innocently. "Wellllll, yeah. I'm forcing everyone to leave you and Natsume alone so you can have some 'private time.'"

She narrowed her eyes. "Jamie, you—"

"Bye!" And he was gone.

She glanced around.

In the few minutes she hadn't been paying attention, it seemed that almost everyone had disappeared.

Hotaru, Ruka and Natsume were still beside her, and Mitsuki was poking Damien's body in boredom.

"Huh," Mikan whispered. "They all disappeared."

Hotaru stood up. "We should probably go too," she said, glancing at Ruka.

Mikan gave her a questioning look. "You're encouraging me and Natsume's 'private time'?"

She scowled. "Of course not. But maybe I want some _private time_ with bunny-boy."

Mikan's eye twitched. "Oh, ew! That's gross! Don't say things like that!"

Hotaro just smirked, starting away. Ruka said a quick goodbye and went after her.

Mikan grimaced. "Wow, that's gross. I can't believe she said that."

Natsume shrugged, looking unbothered.

"Seriously, it doesn't bother you? _At all_? That was gross," she said again.

He didn't answer, just got to his feet and offered her his hand. "Let's go, then. You wanted to see Yuuki and Kaori."

She blinked, grabbing his outstretched hand. "Offering me your hand, Natsume? That's rather gentlemanly of you."

"Shut up." Was his genius response.

She grinned, not letting go of his hand. "I think is the first actual physical-contact I've had with you since that hug. I mean, you grabbed my arm a couple of times, but that doesn't really count." Her grin widened at his somewhat surprised expression. "Hasn't quite registered that I'm awake yet, has it? Jamie keeps telling me that he's waiting to wake up. Are you waiting to wake up, too?"

"No, I am well aware I am awake," he growled, looking annoyed.

"Well, you've been acting distant!" she declared. "Did I do something to annoy you?"

"No."

"Well, then what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," he sighed. "Let's just go, okay?"

She pouted, but obediently went with him back to the bus, still not letting go of his hand.

**Okay, I'm ending this chapter now. It is supposed to have another ten pages, but I have yet to write them and I promised CrossAngel-Chan I'd update soon. **

**I'm not going to promise a quick update this time. Just… I won't. To anyone. I'm awful with this. **

**I've been so busy with my other file (and I haven't updated it either! *Dies*), I promised my best friend I'd start writing an original story, and EXAMS GAHH! Even though I'm home-schooled, they are still stressing.**

**IN OTHER NEWS~  
>I have decided that I <span>WILL<span> do a Natsume's POV version. When this story is over, keep an eye out for - *drum roll* - Gorgeous Nightmare! Anyone catch the song reference? No? Okay, anyway.**

**I will also be writing a story called Ghost Town. I have no summary written yet, but it will start off with Mikan still being locked away. She'll be thirteen, so she'll have been stuck away for a loooong time. Kuonji will hire a guy to erase Mikan's memories and then he'll move her to another school and try and gain her trust and stuff. BUT, the guy, Hiroto, won't actually erase her memories, so she has to fake that she doesn't remember anything. Time-skip to when she's seventeen, she has to go on a mission, and she gets to pick a partner. And one of her choices is Natsume, who she picks despite knowing she shouldn't. So she goes on the mission, I'm not telling you what will happen, and then she has to leave. 'Nother time-skip, this time to when she's eighteen. Kuonji's sending her back to Gakuen Alice and once again I'm not telling you what will happen.**

**Anyway, that's just so you people know some stuff. Because I'm nice like that.**

**Also a story called One and another that doesn't have a name. And one that will probably be called Circle.**

**I'll be writing a couple Gakuen Alice fanfictions on my other file, too. But you won't know it's me…**

**I should really just finish this before I get onto four million other stories, though.**

**To anyone that is interested in my Original Characters, I've got a section up in my profile that tells stuff about them. My OC's will also be in pretty much all of my fanfic's, because I adore them. Especially Jamie…**

**Also, to all of my lovely reviewers: Even if I don't reply to your reviews, I appreciate them a lot! Thanks to everyone that has reviewed, favorited, alerted, etc.. You are all awesome!**

**I think I'm done rambling, now. Good day.**


	27. EXTRA: Jamie's Story: Part One: Backfire

**Another extra? Yeah. About Jamie. **

**I had this idea randomly, and I liked it, so I'm writing it. Derp.**

**This centers around Jamie, his life before the academy, his life in the academy, how he has to deal with his… _ahem,_ feelings for Mikan and Claire, and… well, how he feels about himself. I've always made Jamie come off as the strong one that Mikan can rely on, that can make people laugh and smile easily. But when I started this, Jamie _was not_ like that. He was originally not at all like this. He's dealt with things that have ruined his life. That he has to think about everyday.**

**Also, I was looking through the stats for this story… I have fifty-one alerts and forty-six favorites. Holy shit. Is this story really that great to you sadistic people? Not that I'm complaining. Whenever I get an email from FFN I squeal like an idiot.**

**Anyway, please enjoy. Hopefully the real chapter will be up soon enough.**

**NOTE: This is part ONE. There will be a part TWO in a few chapters. It is pretty much finished being written, but as it contains huge spoilers and would make absolutely no sense without the next couple of chapters, I'm only posting part ONE.**

* * *

><p><strong>Part One: Backfire<strong>

* * *

><p>"Hey, lil' bro."<p>

Jamie beamed at his brother, Jared, who smiled lazily back at him.

"What are you doing?" Jamie asked, plopping down next to him on the couch.

Jared glanced down at the thing he was holding. "Just playing my guitar. It's fun."

Jamie stared at it momentarily. "Looks boring and complicated."

Jared looked amused. "You know some fancy words for a seven year old, y'know. Guitars are fun to play."

"Like video-games or Lego?"

Another amused grin. "No. Guitar's serious."

"So is Mario Kart."

A laugh. "That's different. You can't make a living off of Mario Kart."

"I could try. Whaddaya need a living for? You still live here, and you're not going anywhere."

"I gotta go somewhere someday, and I love my guitar. I'm gonna be a guitarist when I grow up," he explained. "When ya become eighteen, lil' bro, career choices are important."

"You good at guitar?"

Jared smiled widely. "Why don't you tell me, lil' bro? I'll play you a song."

Jamie nodded excitedly.

"I ain't the best, remember. Certainly not at singing, but I'll do that for you, no charge."

Jamie nodded again.

"Okay. Song's called Backfire, and it's by Egypt Central." He paused and breathed in before he started playing.

"_Get me out of this God forsaken city  
>Let me start over somewhere new<br>All my friends have turned up missing  
>I can't blame my youth<br>Throw my heart in the well of wishing  
>Pay my toll to just move on.<br>Ask myself to please forgive me  
>All my innocence is gone<em>

"_Backfire, they backfire all these choices  
>You're scared to make<br>'Cause they backfire, they backfire all these choices  
>You're scared to make<em>

"_All these street lights lead me to the river  
>All my ghosts not far behind<br>If I could leave this town forever  
>It seems like no one's on my side<br>Duck your head and run for cover  
>Cross that bridge and just move on<br>Deceive myself or lose another  
>All my innocence is gone<em>

"_Backfire, they backfire all these choices  
>You're scared to make<br>'Cause they backfire, they backfire all these choices  
>You're scared to make…<em>

"_And I can't find a cure  
>Would it fix me anymore?<br>And all these things I've done  
>Have got me on the run<br>Got me on the run…_

"_Backfire, they backfire all these choices  
>Backfire, they backfire all these choices<br>You're scared to make  
>'Cause they backfire, they backfire all these choices<br>You're scared to make…_

"_Get me out of this God forsaken city  
>Let me start over somewhere new…<em>"

Jamie stared at his brother, awestruck. "You did that?"

"With the help of my guitar." He continued to smile.

"That's awesome! Will you teach me?" Jamie demanded.

Jared laughed. "Only got one guitar, can't teach you." He smiled at Jamie's crestfallen look. "You can have this guitar when I'm gone, how 'bout?"

Jamie blinked. "When you're gone?"

Jared glanced around as though to make sure no one was listening, even though he knew that his parents and Jade were out shopping. "I'm thinking 'bout eloping, lil' bro."

Jamie blinked. "Don't know what that means."

"Means run off and get married. I wanna be with Melissa, but you know that Mom and Dad don't like her."

"Mel's gotta police record."

Jared raised an eyebrow. "Who told you that nonsense?"

"Dad."

He scowled darkly. "Mom doesn't mind Mel, but Dad hates her. Dad wouldn't let me marry the most wonderful girl in existence if his life depended on it."

"Dad's not gonna let you elope."

"Dad doesn't have a choice in the matter. He'll think I'm dead," Jared said, leaning back casually.

"What?" Jamie sat up straight.

"Me and Mel are gonna fake our deaths." He was talking about this like it was the weather. "You heard the song, lil' bro. I wanna start over somewhere new. With her…"

"But what about me and Jade?" He could feel the tears burning in his eyes.

"I'll come back for you, don't you worry," he assured. "Can't leave you with Dad. Dad's not safe."

Jamie blinked. "Whaddaya mean?"

A smile, this time sorrowful. "Dad's been drinkin', lil' bro."

"Drinking's healthy for you."

"Not the kind he's doin'. I'll be back for you bro. No worries."

Jamie stared at him. "Mom and Dad'll be sad if you die."

He shrugged. "I'll be sad without Mel. Need her in my life, and Dad won't accept her. I'll be back for you, you count on that," he repeated.

"When are you going to _elope_?"

"Couple weeks after you and Jade's birthday. We got it all planned out, lil' bro. Don't be sad," he added. "You can't tell anybody, okay? Not Mom, Dad, not Jade, not any of your friends. Okay?"

Jamie nodded seriously.

"I'll be back for you, lil' bro. Make sure you take care of my guitar until then, 'kay?"

Jamie nodded again, and the door opened to reveal their parents and sister.

"We got Oreo's!" Jade cheered.

* * *

><p>It all started with a phone call.<p>

Jamie and Jade had been sprawled across their living room floor, Lego's scattered around them, building a Lego house that they were insisting on living in when they grew up.

Their father had just laughed, watching them build with amused eyes.

Jamie's mother had walked over to the phone, smiling at them as she walked by. She picked up the phone, still smiling, not knowing that her whole families life was about to be ruined.

She greeted the caller with a casual, "Hello?"

A second later, her face was worried.

"Oh my God, what happened? Is he okay?"

Their father abruptly looked up and over at her, his face a mask of concern.

His mothers face crumpled in agony, and his father rushed to her side.

"He's… dead?"

His father tensed.

His mother sobbed.

He and Jade glanced at each other, confused.

Of course they knew what 'dead' meant. They were eight! They had their experience with death once when their hamster had died. And Jared had mentioned it a few times… _Oh_. Jared had went through with his plan…?

"Y-yes, of course, we'll come down right n-now and ch-ch—" her voice cut off into a sob, and she said, "We'll be there soon," before hanging up.

Jamie scrambled to his feet and went to stand in front of her. "What's wrong, Mommy?"

Lesson one: Calling your mother Mommy, even if you think you're too old for it, will make her feel happy. Usually.

She blinked down at him blankly, as if forgetting who he was momentarily. Then she smiled through her tears. "Nothing's wrong, hon. Daddy and I have to go somewhere real quick. Can you two stay here by yourselves?"

By _themselves_? That never happened.

He nodded, and his mom rushed to grab her car keys, whispering something quickly to his dad, who paled and breathed in sharply.

All he said was, "We'll be back soon, you two. Stay here."

And both of them were out the door. A moment later, their car went flying past the window, and out of sight.

Jade looked at him. "Should we put the Lego away?"

He nodded, silently putting the Lego in a plastic box while Jade took apart the house they had been building together.

They waited downstairs for an hour, before Jamie finally suggested they go to bed, because it was eight-thirty, and normally they were supposed to be in bed at eight.

Jade went to brush her teeth, and Jamie, pretending to forget about brushing his teeth, just climbed into his bed and turned out his light, having already been wearing pajamas the whole day.

After a few minutes, Jade peered in to say goodnight before heading off to her own room.

Jamie sighed and rolled onto his side, blinking when he heard a crackling sound. He sat up, reaching for the lamp next to his bed, and blinking at the sudden bright light.

He looked down at his pillow, frowning when he saw nothing, before flipping it over and smirking triumphantly at the small piece of paper.

He picked it up, frowning curiously.

He smiled with slight relief as he read it, and put the note under his lamp, where his parents wouldn't find it.

* * *

><p>Jamie flinched when he heard his father yelling at his mother downstairs.<p>

He was used to it, of course. But he still flinched when he heard it.

He could hear his mother either arguing or pleading.

The sound of flesh-on-flesh as she got slapped.

She had been arguing.

He stalked out of his room and down to where Jared's room was, practically untouched since his 'death'.

He glanced behind him, paranoid, before stepping into his room and glancing around casually.

Then he walked over to Jared's bedside table and grabbed the mp3 player off of it, flicking it on and putting the headphones over his ears, blasting a random song in his ear to drown out his mothers sobs.

"_7 AM and I'm walking again  
>Back to bury myself in the snow<br>With a part of me gone and its hard to hold  
>To a person that I used to know<br>And it kills me inside, I am buried alive  
>I am nothing but flesh over bone<br>But I can't think about, I'm not going to change  
>I'm better off being alone<br>Better off being alone_

"_The drug, the drug is what understands me  
>Silence stole the voices in my head<br>Drink myself to death on cocaine candy  
>Twenty one gun salute when they find me dead<br>When the find me dead_

"_In the back of the house with a gun in my mouth  
>And a mirror in front of my face<br>I have looked for a reason, just one simple reason  
>For why am I worth being saved<br>But I'll never get out so I put the gun down  
>It's a slow suicide that I choose<br>So I give in again, I sit down and breath in  
>I don't care about what I will lose<br>What I will lose…_

"_The drug, the drug is what understands me  
>Silence stole the voices in my head<br>Drink myself to death on cocaine candy  
>Twenty one gun salute when they find me dead<br>When they find me dead_

"_I feel like this will never end  
>The curse will under my skin<br>More than air I need  
>You must believe I need the drug<br>I'm always on the run  
>From the addict I've become<br>More than air I need to breathe  
>You must believe I need the drug<em>

"_I need the drug  
>You must believe I need the drug<br>I need the drug  
>You must believe I need the drug<em>

"_The drug, the drug is what understands me  
>Silence stole the voices in my head<br>Drink myself to death on cocaine candy  
>Twenty one gun salute when they find me dead…<em>"

Jamie knew without looking that this was Egypt Central. He had heard them so many times on this mp3 that for a while he had wondered if there was any other bands.

There was, of course. But it was mostly them, or a band that sounded like them.

As the song switched to another, he heard his father yelling again.

He slid under Jared's bed to hide from the real world, turning the volume up.

* * *

><p>Jamie stared down into the crib, where baby 'Jaylen' stared back at him with giant eyes.<p>

He wasn't exactly sure where she had come from.

His mother told him she had been 'pregnant' for a long time, thus explaining her randomly becoming fat and grouchy sometime around the time Jared had died.

Now, she was suddenly thin and happy again, and there was another baby.

Jamie wondered if she had thrown Jaylen up.

When he asked, his mother had instantly burst out laughing, and said, "No, no, no! Nothing like that! You'll find out when you're older. For now, just be a good older brother, like Jared was with you…" her voice trailed off into nothing, and the happy glow on her face disappeared.

He continued to stare wonderingly into the crib, before turning and looking at Jade. "_Why_ is this baby so cute?" he demanded, as if she would know the answer.

Jade smiled. "I love this baby! She's so cute!"

Their mother smiled behind them.

Jamie frowned. "But what about Dad? Does he know about her?"

The smile faltered. "I told him, but if he heard me is a different story."

Jamie changed the subject. "_I'm_ going to be the best older brother ever!"

* * *

><p>"Mom's gone."<p>

Jamie blinked and glanced at Jade. "What?"

"Mom's gone," she repeated. "So 's a bunch of her stuff. Mom's gone."

Jamie blinked and looked back down at his homework. "Oh well."

Jade looked momentarily stunned. "Oh well? Jamie, she's gone. Without us."

"Oh well. At least one of us could escape. Two if you count Jared."

"Dying isn't escaping. Jared's the reason this happened."

He shrugged.

"It doesn't bother you? That Mom left?"

"Should it?"

Jade looked offended. "She's our mom."

"Our mother and father died with Jared."

She bit her lip. "What are we gonna do?"

"Live without her." _Wait for Jared to come._ "Ignore Dad."

"Dad won't ignore us, though," she pointed out. "He'll get really mad that Mom left. He's gonna hit us."

"Newsflash, Jade: He _already_ hits us. So what?"

"I don't want to be hit anymore…"

It came out so pathetically that Jamie looked at her again.

Tears were streaming down her face and her lips were trembling with restrained sobs.

He sighed and sat up on his bed, moving over slightly and patting the spot next to him for Jade to sit in. "Jade, there's nothing we can do. You know that."

"The police would help us," she choked, and rubbed her arm across her face to wipe away her tears.

"Then we'd be sent away."

"Anywhere's better than here," she whispered.

He got to his feet and offered her his hand, which she accepted easily.

"What are you doing?"

"Let's go for a walk."

"Dad won't let us."

"He's not here."

Jade blinked, apparently having not noticed this.

"Let's go," he said again, grabbing Jared's guitar, which he had brought to his own room after a few months.

Only Jade had noticed the random addition to his room.

She blinked back her tears, sniffed, and Jamie led her down the stairs quietly, just in case his father had come home and he hadn't heard.

He opened the door and peered into the dark streets, before blinking and shutting the door again and setting the guitar down against the coat rack. "One minute, I better bring Jaylen." He paused, tensing. "Jaylen is still here, right?"

She had to be.

Without Jaylen, he would be nothing.

He had grown used to her, close to her. He loved her as much as he loved Jade. He only needed his sisters.

No one else.

His sisters. _Just them._

"Jaylen is still here. She left her here with us."

He nodded, hiding his relief, and took off back up the stairs, into Jaylen's room.

He scooped her up, smiling at her as she giggled, then he ran back down the stairs to Jade.

He grinned at Jade, balancing Jaylen with one arm and opening the door with his unoccupied hand.

"It's dark out," Jade noted behind him, pulling her shoes on.

He shrugged, walking out into the dark.

"You forgot your shoes," Jade said, scrambling after him.

He shrugged again, not really caring.

"It's too dark to go anywhere."

Jamie, despite himself, smiled with slight amusement at his next words, "All these street lights lead me to the river."

Jade looked confused. "What?"

"They're song lyrics."

"You're stupid."

He snorted. "You don't get it. Music is an escape from reality. I need that."

She stared at him for a moment before looking ahead. "There is no escape from reality. Not one like this."

And she ran ahead.

* * *

><p>The shower was running.<p>

He wasn't sure how long Jade had been in there, screaming, crying, rubbing her skin raw.

He wasn't sure how long he had been hiding under Jared's bed, music blasting deafeningly loud in his ears.

"_I close my eyes to no avail  
>Three days of aching sleepless<br>I wish these sheets would suffocate me while I wait  
>I love the cuts that make the lines<br>Arranged in beautiful designs  
>I fight with a sharp side of a razor blade<br>It's not right, I can't escape the choice I made._"

He hadn't helped her.

He was right there.

He could've helped her.

But he had sat there and let it happen, frozen in fear.

His father had just raped his sister. And he had let it happen.

"_One last chance to get me through tonight  
>One last dance with the lady dressed in white<br>I lost myself, I lost my alibis  
>One last time to feed the enemy inside of me.<em>"

He felt a sudden shudder run through his body.

He had let it happen.

_He had let it._

Right in front of him, right in front of him, right in front of him.

It was a mistake.

His father had thought it was their mother.

It was a mistake.

He shouldn't have done it.

It was a mistake.

"_It's getting harder to inhale  
>A quick fix to clear my secrets<br>Eyes dilate and stop the winding second hand  
>It turns the hours into days<br>Behind the sunlight my life fades to gray  
>Alone again with a razor blade<br>It's not right, I can't escape the choice I made._"

But it still happened.

It could happen again.

At any moment.

Screaming was one thing.

Hitting was one thing.

Rape was a completely different level.

And it could happen again.

Numbly, he slid out from under the bed and stood up.

It could happen again.

He opened his door and walked down the stairs.

It could happen again.

He put on his shoes.

It could happen again.

He walked outside.

It could happen again.

"_One last chance to get me through tonight  
>One last dance with the lady dressed in white<br>I lost myself, I lost my alibis  
>One last time to feed the enemy.<em>"

His feet started leading him toward the police station automatically.

In the back of his mind, he realized it was probably stupid to leave Jade by herself in her time of need. To leave Jaylen with nobody that was capable of taking care of her.

In the front of his mind, blankness.

It could happen again.

He couldn't let it happen again.

Not again.

Not to Jade.

Not to anyone.

This had to end.

Before it could happen again.

"_It's quiet now  
>Like the moments after a murder<br>The younger me inside  
>Can't believe the things he saw tonight<br>Face to face, I'm screaming at myself  
>Face to face, I'm screaming at myself for help<br>Tonight  
>Tonight<br>Tonight  
>Tonight.<em>"

He had let it happen.

He was too cowardly to stop it.

He didn't want to get hurt, so he let Jade get hurt instead.

It was his fault.

It was all his fault.

It was always his fault.

He opened the door to the police station.

The police looked amused that someone as young as him would come in here.

"_Tonight  
>Tonight<br>Tonight  
>One last chance to get me through tonight<br>One last dance with the lady dressed in white  
>I lost myself, I lost my alibis<br>One last time to feed the enemy inside of me  
>Inside of me.<em>"

And he told them everything that had happened since his brother had faked his death, music still blasting in his ears, drowning out their horrified noises.

Because it could happen again.

"_One last chance to get me through tonight…_"

* * *

><p>Jamie shoved another shirt into his suitcase. "Jade, can you pass me my pencil case please?"<p>

She passed it to him obediently. "Why do we have to leave?" she asked again.

"We have alice's. We get to go to Alice Academy."

"Are Mom and Dad seeing us off?" she continued.

"No," he said stiffly. "Have you packed everything you want to bring?"

"Yes. That's why I'm helping you."

How could she forget so easily, when he was left to suffer through the memories?

Vaguely he remembered her saying there was no escape from a reality like this.

Seemed she had found one.

"Pass me the mp3 player."

"Say please."

"Please."

She passed it to him and he shoved it into his pocket. "Photo album, please."

He wasn't sure why he was going to pack pictures of his family, most of whom he despised, but he forced the item into his suitcase anyway.

"Why are you bringing so much?"

"We'll be living there until we're eighteen, Jade. Mementos, memories, necessities."

She shrugged. "I packed clothes and a few toys."

"What are you, five? There's more important things in life than toys."

She shrugged again. "You pack what you pack and I'll pack what I pack."

"Thanks for stating the obvious."

"You're welcome."

Jaylen's face suddenly leapt into his mind, and he breathed in sharply, then exhaled slowly.

The oh-so-kind police-people had taken her and put her up for adoption.

Jamie had agreed, with certain rules –

One: Her name had to stay the same. Nobody was going to change the tradition of J's in his family. And her middle name would be Swift.

Two: Even while in Alice Academy, he got updates on her every week. When she was adopted, the adopter must send pictures, notes, detail's about Jaylen's life. No exceptions.

Three: When he got out of Alice Academy, he was allowed to see her – and take her for himself if he requested.

Four: If she had an alice, she was to be sent directly to Alice Academy, and he would care for her.

Five: She go to a good home.

The police had looked about ready to strangle him when they were told all of this, and the chance of Jaylen _actually_ being adopted when she could at any moment suddenly be whisked away were slim, but they were the rules and they were to be followed.

_No exceptions._

He sighed. "Can you bring these suitcases down to the car? I'm going to make sure I've got everything."

She nodded, grabbing two of the suitcases and rushing out of his room.

He looked around his room silently, wondering if there was anything he had forgotten, when he suddenly realized he had forgotten about _it_.

He wandered over to his bedside table, and picked up the lamp.

It was still there.

He picked up the note.

'_Take good care of my guitar, lil' bro. I'll find some way to get you when me and Mel have settled down somewhere. Wait for me.  
>-Jared'<em>

Had Jared and Melissa settled yet, and Jared just not cared enough to come for them? Were they still settling? It took years to settle. When Jared came, if he decided to, Jade and him would be long gone.

He shoved the note in his pocket and grabbed Jared's old guitar, heading out the door, snatching his last suitcase.

Jamie blinked once, twice, confused as he left. Jared had told him that their father was drinking, and he hadn't understood then. But he did now.

Jared was leaving to be with the girl of his dreams, and to get away from his father, who was slowly becoming an alcoholic.

He was leaving so that he could later save Jamie and Jade.

Jamie almost laughed.

Jared's plan had backfired.

* * *

><p><strong>Part One: End<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>So, there you go. Jamie's life BEFORE any academy crap.<strong>

**If you don't understand why Jamie almost laughed, Jared's plan had _backfired_. The name of the song Jared sung in the beginning? Backfire.**

**Songs:**

**Backfire – Egypt Central**

**The Drug (Part One) – Egypt Central**

**Enemy Inside (Part Two) – Egypt Central**

**And now you're all wondering: What the fuck is with Jared? AND Jaylen? WHAT THE FUCK _ARE YOU DOING_, BREAKEROFDAYS? Well. You'll find out, wink wink.**

**Here's an extremely small spoiler for Part Two: Coward (and the next chapter) – **

"You should be scared of me," he snarled. "I was there the night you were raped."

She tensed quickly, frozen in shock.

"_I was right there,_" he repeated. "I could hear your screaming, I could hear your pleading. But I did_ nothing_. I sat there and let it happen."

Tears were filling her eyes.

"Kuonji hired him to do it, _right in front of me_. He offered _me_ the money to do it."

She was breathing unevenly.

He could practically see her thinking _No, no, no._

Because he knew her.

But she didn't know him. Not really.

And he ran, because he was still a coward.

**Dear God, this whole thing has been so hard to write. And yet, it is probably my favorite chapter. We needed a look into Jamie's life. I was literally working on it all day. Now, about Part Two: Coward.**

**It is dark as fuck.**

**That is all I can say about it.**

**This chapter was not that dark compared to Part Two. Jamie's in some form of shock at the end of this, and only in the next part does the darkness take over him.**

**I may or may not edit it to make it less messed up. I probably will, it's kinda making me nervous…**

**And now, I have written twelve pages (not including Part Two, which, when I'm done editing and shit will probably be about thirty pages *dies*) and I am going to take a break.**


	28. Innocence

"Oh, by the way, my legs really hurt," Mikan said casually as they walked towards the elementary school.

Natsume stopped in his tracks and turned to glare at her. "How long have they been hurting for?"

"Um." She bit her lip. "Around the time we bought pizza?"

"Mikan," he sighed. He pointed to a nearby bench. "Go sit. Now," he added when she shook her head.

She rolled her eyes and went to sit on it. "Benches are stupid. I hate benches. You suck," she complained.

He sat down next to her, ignoring her completely.

They sat together silently for a few minutes before Mikan finally spoke up. "Hey, Natsume, can I ask you something?"

"You just did."

"…Can I ask you two things?"

"You just did."

She scowled. "_Natsume_! You know what I mean!"

He glanced at her in amusement. "Okay, what?"

She glared at him for a moment. "Fine. _Jerk_. You love me, right?"

He blinked, looking confused. "You know I do."

She nodded slowly. "…Why?"

He blinked again, frowning. "_Why_ do I love you?"

She nodded expectantly.

He shrugged. "I don't know. I've always been in love with you."

"Well that annoys me," she replied.

He stared at her blankly.

"You _used_ to be in love with me because I was an idiot – which doesn't make sense by the way."

He continued to frown at her. "I didn't love you because you were an idiot. Your denseness amused me – sometimes it still does – but what I liked about you was how you were always happy and never gave up."

"But I've changed from that!" she protested. "I'm not happy-go-lucky and I've given up so many times I've lost count."

"And I used to be like that," he countered. "And you saved me from myself, and now it's my turn to do the same thing for you."

She opened her mouth to retort and couldn't think of anything to say, so she blurted out, "You're stupid!" And turned away moodily, blushing.

Natsume just rolled his eyes.

Then, with shocking speed, he grabbed her wrist and slid a ring over her finger.

She stared at it with a blank, uncomprehending expression, before blushing harder and looking up at Natsume. "N-Natsume, y-you—" she fumbled for words, and upon finding none, settled on staring at him, mouth open with shock.

He shrugged nonchalantly. "I thought I'd make it official."

"You…! Don't act so casual about this, you bastard! That's not even asking me properly! ...That's not even asking me! That's like… like… _demanding_ my hand in marriage!"

He shrugged once again. "What's the point in asking? It's not like I'd let you say no."

She scowled. "_Let_ me? Natsume, you're like… kidnapping my hand in marriage."

"Do you not want to marry me?" he asked in an annoyed tone.

"Of course I want to!" she snapped quickly.

"Then shut up and accept it, you idiot."

A moment of silence.

"Can I ask _you_ a question?" Natsume asked. "And that wasn't it."

She nodded.

"Why did the doctors say that you don't have the fourth alice shape anymore?"

She bit her lip. "I didn't tell you?"

He shook his head.

"I… remember when we went to the dance club, and David was… you know, there?"

He nodded.

"I… when he touched me, I panicked and swapped our alice shapes by accident."

He stared at her. "So now he has the fourth alice shape?"

She nodded awkwardly.

"So I don't have to worry about you spontaneously dying on me?"

She scowled at him again, then changed the subject, "I want to see Yuuki and Kaori."

He glanced at her. "How are your legs?"

"Numb."

He sat up straight with alarm. "I'm taking you to the hospital."

"No!" she shouted angrily. "Yuuki and Kaori first!"

"You can't _walk_."

"Then bring them _here_," she demanded, crossing her arms childishly.

He rolled his eyes in exasperation. "Fine, whatever." Apparently tired of arguing with her (if that was even possible) he got up and started toward the elementary building again, shaking his head.

She watched until he disappeared into the building before activating one of her alice's so she could watch him walking through the halls in her mind.

He stopped at one of the doors and knocked lightly before opening the door and glancing in almost awkwardly. The teacher raised her eyebrows at him questioningly and he quickly and quietly explained that Mikan had woken up and was demanding to see Yuuki and Kaori.

The teacher nodded understandingly and motioned to Yuuki and Kaori, who glanced at each other curiously and walked over obediently.

Natsume led them out into the hallway, and at once, Yuuki burst out, "What wrong, Daddy?"

Daddy.

Daddy.

Daddy.

What?

"I told you not to call me that," Natsume snapped and Yuuki grinned. "Mikan woke up from her coma, and she wants to see you two." He put bluntly.

There was a moment of awed silence between them, then Yuuki yelled, "Where's Mommy?"

"I'll bring you to her," Natsume said simply, and started walking back towards the entryway. "She's still adjusting, and her legs aren't… working at the moment, so be gentle."

"Where is she?" Yuuki demanded again.

"She's just up ahead, resting on a bench, but—"

Before he could finish, Yuuki had bolted ahead.

Kaori glanced at him curiously, and he sighed, muttering, "You mine as well go with her."

She smiled, nodded, and took off after Yuuki.

Mikan cut off her alice and opened her eyes, peering over to where they were approaching, Yuuki far ahead of the other two, and Kaori catching up.

"_Mommy!_" Yuuki howled, flinging herself at Mikan when she got close enough.

Mikan '_oof'_ed at the sudden impact, but wrapped her arms around Yuuki nonetheless. "Yuuki!" she squealed in reply, squeezing her tightly. "Oh my God, look how much you've grown!" she sniffed. "I'm so sorry I had to leave you for so long!"

"Mommy, I can't breathe."

Well, apparently she could, because she just talked, but Mikan let her go nonetheless. "Sorry," she apologized, not at all sorry. "I missed you."

"I missed you, too, Mommy."

Mikan looked over Yuuki's head, at Kaori, who had silently arrived and waited for acknowledgement. "Kaori," she choked, not really sure what to say.

Natsume, who had finally reached them, shoved Kaori forward slightly, and she turned around to glare daggers at him.

Mikan snorted. "Wow, her glare is just as murderous as yours, Natsume. Tied with a friggen' five year old. Congrats."

He glared at her in annoyance.

"Yeah, hers is more threatening."

He rolled his eyes. "She's five."

"And her glare is more threatening than yours." She grinned. "Don't worry, Natsume. I'll keep your secret."

He rolled his eyes yet again. "Whatever you idiot."

She glanced down at Yuuki. "Guess who can't breathe now, Yuuki?"

Yuuki sniffled. "I didn't think you were gonna wake up…"

Why were kids so freaking adorable and innocent?

"Aw, you know I wouldn't leave you, Yuuki. I have too many people here that I love to not have come back…" she glanced hesitantly at Natsume and Koari, smiling weakly.

Kaori still hadn't made a move to come closer, but Mikan wasn't going to push her luck with getting a hug from Kaori. She didn't exactly deserve one.

After a few minutes, Natsume finally told the two of them to go back to their class. Yuuki refused at first, but finally allowed herself to be dragged off by Kaori after practically screaming "No!" repeatedly.

When they were out of sight, Natsume glared at her. "Hospital. Now."

"No," she snapped stubbornly, much like Yuuki. "I wanna see Tsubasa-senpai and Misaki-senpai… and Youichi!"

He continued to glare at her. "Later."

"No, now!"

"Later."

"_Now_!"

"Mikan—"

"Natsume, I will kill you."

They stared at each other.

"Mikan—"

"Kill. _You_."

He looked about ready to set her on fire.

"I am not going to that stupid hospital again. I'll be fine. I just overused my legs—they'll be better in no time. I want to see them now, Natsume."

He turned his glare to the sky, as if saying to God, "_Why did you curse me with someone so annoyingly stubborn?_"

"Fine. But how do you expect to get to them when you can't walk?"

"Well, you could carry—Where are you going?"

He waved at her, walking away with quick steps. He was ditching her!

"Natsume, you asshole!"

* * *

><p>Later, when Mikan could feel her legs, and Natsume had returned to see if she was still there, they started to where Youchi's classroom was, after Mikan had abused Natsume's arm horribly.<p>

"I can't believe you just left me there…" she grumbled beside him. "Asshole."

"I can," he mumbled in reply, casting her a small glare.

"Someone could have killed me!"

He raised his eyebrow questioningly. "Someone could have killed you? Really?"

"Or at least robbed me!"

"You don't have anything. Be quiet."

"They could've—"

"Be quiet."

"But Natsume—"

"Shut up."

"But—"

"Shut up."

"But—"

"We're at the classroom now," he said, looking beyond relieved. He knocked on the door, and when the teacher opened it, requested to see Youichi somewhat politely.

A few seconds later, Youichi was in front of them. He first glanced at Natsume in confusion, before looking at Mikan and blinking.

Mikan grinned at him delightedly and waited for him to say something.

He looked her up and down a few times, before finally saying, "Hag." and turning back into the classroom without another word.

Mikan stared at him, mouth open in shock, and Natsume smirked, looking terribly amused.

"Argh! I can't believe that's the greeting I get from him after so long!" She glared at Natsume. "That was _your_ fault! I can't believe it!"

Natsume just started away. "Well, you saw him. Time to see the other idiots."

* * *

><p>"Mikan, you're awake!"<p>

In less than five seconds, she was tackled into a lung-squishing hug.

"Misaki-senpai, I can't breathe," she choked.

The hug didn't let up in the least.

"Misaki, maybe you should let—" Tsubasa started, but was cut off by a murderous look.

"Maybe I should _what_?" Misaki asked, letting go of Mikan to step threateningly closer to her husband.

"I was just saying that…" He glanced around nervously, backing up a few steps. "Maybe you shouldn't hug Mikan so tight…?"

A lamp was promptly thrown at his face. "You're not the boss of me!"

"I'm not trying to—" A book smashed into the side of his face and he yelped.

Natsume nudged her lightly. "We should probably come back later."

Mikan nodded quickly, not keen on seeing Tsubasa get murdered.

* * *

><p><strong>Time Skip<strong>

* * *

><p>"I can't believe you."<p>

"Aren't you happy?"

"Your uncle told you that he'd do whatever _you_ wanted. _This_ doesn't benefit you at all. This benefits _other_ people."

"I have what I want. I want to make other people happy."

Natsume sighed, watching another car pull into the academy.

"Your family is coming to see you. Don't you want to see them? I mean, I know that you'll be seeing them in a couple of months for graduation anyway, but still…" Mikan watched as Koko walked by with his parents. "I made lots of people happy, right?"

"Yes, you made lots of people happy," he agreed hesitantly.

"That's what I want. To make people happy." She waved at Hotaru, who was with her family a little ways away. "This is going to happen every year now as well."

"But you have no one to visit. You'll just sit here and be lonely."

She shrugged. "I'll be 'lonely' with Jamie and Jade – they both know that their parents aren't coming. Damien's probably won't either. Besides, we have the stage set up so we can play. You know, entertainment for the people that can't think of what to say."

Another car pulled in.

"You know, any one of these cars could have your father and Aoi."

Natsume fidgeted.

"I'm going to go now," she said, backing away from him. "You stay here with all the other people that are waiting for their families."

"Where are you going?" Natsume asked, stepping closer to her.

She smiled, backing up another step, but he simply stepped closer again. "I'm going to go to the stage. Or to find Jamie or something. Maybe both." She pressed her lips against his quickly, before backing away again. "I guess I'll probably see you in the crowd at some point with your family, right?"

"Probably," he agreed lightly, eyes flicking away from her for a split second as another car arrived.

She grinned, taking another step back. "I'll see you later, okay? Bye." She waved slightly, then turned and ran the other direction.

She grinned when she past Anna and Nonoko, who were introducing their parents to each other, but both stopped to wave at her with wide smiles.

She gave a small wave back, hurrying past them when her eyes locked onto Jamie, who was zooming towards her.

"Thank God you're here," he breathed.

She stared at him questioningly.

"Just met Claire's father and brother. _Overprotective, intimidating_, father and brother."

She grinned widely. "What did they do?"

"They both glared at me," he grumbled as they started towards the stage. "Her dad heavily implied I was just using her for her body, then I'd dump her after I got what I want. Oh, and let's not forget that her brother said I was a girl!"

She burst out laughing. "Why the hell did he say _that_?"

He sighed. "Because he got his first girlfriend when he was ten, and me at fifteen. And because me and Claire slept in the same bed because I kept having nightmares. Yeah, apparently having nightmares of your father raping your sister is just something you should get over."

Mikan raised an eyebrow. "You and Claire slept in the same bed?"

"While you were in the coma."

"Ah." She paused awkwardly. "What did Claire think of this? And where's her mother?" She paused again. "Oh right, her mom abused her, right?"

Jamie nodded, face darkening. "Yeah, she did. Anyway, I think Claire was humiliated out of her mind. She kept insisting that I was wonderful and pleading for them to stop being embarrassing?"

She grinned again, unbelievingly. "She said you're wonderful? _Claire_ did?

"Ha-ha," he laughed sarcastically, sending her a dry look. "She didn't say wonderful, but she talked me up a lot. It was flattering. I'm sure later she'll tell me that she was just trying to help me out a little because I came off so pathetic."

"Aw, don't worry, Jame. You're the best," she cooed, still smiling in amusement.

"You're stupid," he grumbled in reply. "These people don't even know me and they think I'm going to sleep with Claire, beat her and leave her pregnant with a baby." He paused and sighed. "Or at least that's the vibe I get."

"Don't worry," she said again. "Claire isn't going to let them affect her view of you."

He nodded slowly. "I know. She said she was going to stay with me even if her father threatened to disown her."

""…_Claire_ did?"

He looked at her, smiling crookedly. "I'm serious. She really said that."

Mikan stared at him wonderingly, and when his smile was replaced with a confused frown, she said, "Wow, I don't think I've ever seen you with such a love-struck look before, Jamie."

A look of shock passed through his face. "W-what?"

"You had this look on your face." She smiled and shook her head before she turned serious. "She knows that you're in love with her, right? I mean, you've told her?"

He avoided her eyes with his own, his cheeks slowly turning pink. "Yes. She knows."

She beamed. "You should have told me!" she squealed in delight. "Did she say it back? Huh, huh? Did she?"

"You sound like a three year old," he chastised, but got that dreamy look back on his face. "Yes, she said it back. But she also called me an idiot."

"Of course she did," Mikan waved off. "This is Claire we're talking about. Want me to listen in on the conversation they're having with my alice?"

"Mikan, you probably shouldn—"

"Too late." Climbing onto the stage, she pinpointed Claire and cast her senses at her, listening intently.

"—_od enough for you, Claire. You could do way better._" The younger man, who Mikan assumed Claire's brother was, was saying.

"_I could not,_" Claire replied exasperatedly. "_There is no male specimen better than Jamie. There never will be. He's like a prince out of a fairytale._"

"_There are lots of princes,_" her father protested.

"_Not for me there isn't,_" Claire snapped. "Why_ don't you like him? He was nothing but polite to you two, he is most certainly _not_ just trying to get into my pants, and he's never even had another girlfriend before me._"

"_That doesn't mean he's never cheated on you,_" her dad snapped. "_I was a teenage boy once, Claire. They do things like that and don't tell their girlfriends._"

"_Yeah,_" her brother agreed. "_Besides, are you blind? Can't you see him smiling and having a good time over there with another girl?_"

Claire snorted. "_Jamie isn't _you_, Dad. He wouldn't ever cheat on me. And the girl he's with has been his best friend for years._"

"_Oh please,_" her father scoffed in disgust. "_Boys and girls can't be best friends. Eventually, one of them will love the other. Maybe it already happened. Maybe it's happening now._"

"_Just drop it, Dad,_" Claire spat. "_I'd sooner let you disown me than break up with Jamie._"

Her brother started complaining and Mikan stopped eavesdropping, looking at Jamie, who was staring at her patiently.

"Her family hates you," Mikan told him simply.

He blinked twice before frowning. "I knew it. I _knew_ it."

"But Claire called you her prince," she chirped.

The frown was immediately replaced with a wide smile. "She did?"

"There's that love-struck look again," Mikan sighed with fake annoyance. She looked past him at Damien. "Hey there ugly," she greeted him.

Jamie turned around as if to make sure she wasn't talking to him. "Hey Damien."

Damien gave Mikan a look. "Hello to the two of you as well."

"Your parents didn't come?" Mikan asked curiously. "Or are they going to but not here yet?"

He shrugged. "They won't come. Trust me, I know them – they stopped caring about me a looong time ago."

He didn't seem bothered by it in the least, but Mikan still felt bad for him. "Well, you can play with us then, right Jamie?"

"Does he have to?" Jamie complained mockingly.

Damien rolled his eyes.

Mikan smiled slightly. "Jamie don't be an asshole," she told him simply and Damien grinned smugly. "Damien, don't be cocky. Did you want to play with us or not?"

He shrugged again. "Sure, I guess."

"Cool. Where's Jade?"

"Right here," Jade chirped, rushing up to them. "Sorry, meeting Arden's parents. I think they like me."

Jamie threw his hands up. "Well isn't that just great?"

When Jade gave him a confused, Mikan said, "Claire's family hates him."

She nodded understandingly. "I see. What did he do?"

"Nothing!" Jamie cried.

Jade shrugged. "Well whatever. Are you guys ready to play? Who's doing what?"

"Mikan's lead singer, obviously," Jamie said. "Jade, drums. Damien, bass. I'll be the guitarist. Okay? We probably should've sorted this out beforehand."

"Can I sing the first song?" Damien asked. "I can play bass too. Mikan probably needs to build up her nerve anyway."

"Shut up, Damien," she grumbled. "But you're right. I do need to and I'm sure people are dying to hear your sexy voice."

He fist-pumped excitedly and smirked at her. "Nice to know that you're aware of my sexy voice."

She rolled her eyes. "Yes, I'm sure that boosted your ego disgustingly."

He grinned, turning to Jamie and Jade. "You two know how to play _If Only She knew Voodoo Like I Do_ by _Get Scared_, right?"

"You would want to do that song," Jamie mumbled before adding, "Yes, we know it. You _know_ we know it."

"Yeah, I just like annoying you," Damien admitted shamelessly.

Jamie scowled at him, picking up his guitar, which had been brought out earlier with the other instruments. "Yeah, yeah, yeah…"

Damien grinned in amusement, grabbing the bass and shooing Jade towards the drums.

Mikan sat at the edge of the stage, waiting.

Damien walked up to the mike, grinned, and flicked it, sending a horrible noise through the air and making everyone look over at him in annoyance.

_Well, that's one way to get everyone's attention._

"Good afternoon, everyone," Damien started, still grinning as if he hadn't done anything wrong. "Me and my friends will be the entertainment for those who have nothing to say to their family, whose family didn't come, whatever. Maybe we'll just be your background music, it doesn't matter, because we'll be playing even if you throw tomatoes at us."

Mikan rolled her eyes and tuned out his small opening speech, glancing around.

She could see that most of her classmate's families had arrived. Mitsuki was with her mother, father and older brother, Hiroto. She was pointing to Damien, probably saying something along the lines of, "That sexy singer and bass player is my boyfriend!"

Claire looked like she was still arguing on Jamie's behalf.

Arden's family was all smiling and talking naturally, so all was good and they must've liked Jade.

Hotaru had arrived with her mother and father, but her brother was probably avoiding seeing his family again and staying to work at the hospital.

Natsume and Ruka were still waiting for their families by the main building.

She glanced back at the stage when they started playing, eyes lingering on Jamie. Many times since she had woken up, he had opened his mouth as though to say something, then shut it again, looking away from her. Definitely suspicious.

On cue, he glanced away from his guitar and at her, catching her gaze. He smiled questioningly and she waved then gave him a thumb's up. He rolled his eyes, shaking his head slightly.

"_Girl I've got you  
>Under a spell and I don't think I'll be letting you out<br>I've got you  
>If this heaven, then baby I don't wanna know hell!<br>_"_Girl I've got you  
>Under a spell and I don't think I'll be letting you out<br>I've got you  
>If this is heaven, then baby I don't wanna know hell!<br>_"_If this is heaven then baby I don't wanna know hell!_"

_Such a Damien song to play_, Mikan thought in amusement.

He glanced behind him at her, and motioned for her to take over, saying into the mike, "And now, my friend, who is not nearly as talented as me, will be singing. However, do not fear! I will still be playing the bass."

She shoved him roughly, scoffing, "Idiot." at him, before smiling nervously at the crowd and murmuring a small, not nearly as annoying as Damien's, greeting.

Four and a half songs later, Mikan spotted Natsume walking through the crowds of people with his dad and Aoi, Ruka and his family close behind him.

She smiled in relief that they had managed to show up, then turned toward Jamie. "What song should we do next?" she asked curiously. She blinked when she noticed he was frowning. "What?"

"What the hell is with that?" he hissed, pointing behind her discreetly.

She turned back to the crowd, instinctively looking at Claire. Nothing was different from the last time she had looked. "What? What's with what?"

"Who the hell is the whore clinging to Hyuuga's arm?"

Her eyes flicked towards where she had previously seen Natsume and she blinked. One of the members of Ruka's family had latched onto his Natsume's arm, and Natsume looked royally pissed off.

"I'm not sure who it is." She shrugged, looking back at Jamie. "Someone in Ruka's family, I'm assuming. She had blonde hair, so… anyway, it isn't like he's doing anything, Jamie. Calm yo tits."

He scowled. "He _is_ doing something wrong by not stopping her."

"Jamie, he looks like he wants to rip her face off. My guess is that he tried to get her to let go, and she won't. It can't be helped."

He still looked unhappy. "Doesn't it bother you?"

She shrugged. "Of course it does. What song now?"

"Mikan—"

"Song. Now."

He sighed. "I don't know. We haven't done _Paramore_ songs for awhile – did you want to do a song by them?"

She paused, then grinned. "Sure! How about _Crush Crush Crush_ and _Brick by Boring Brick_?"

"_Brick by Boring Brick_? Is that a goo—"

"Yes, it is a good idea. Hmm… also we can do_ White Balloons_ by_ Sick Puppies_."

"Are you sure that _Brick by Boring Brick_ is good idea?"

She grinned. "I'm sure it'll catch Natsume's attention."

He rolled his eyes.

"Just do as I say and go and tell Damien and Jade."

"Whatever," he grumbled, but did as he was told. When he nodded at her, she started singing again.

When she had finished _Crush Crush Crush_ and started _Brick by Boring Brick_, Natsume jerked slightly at the familiar music, turning his head to send her a glare. She had smiled at him discreetly.

"What now?" Jamie asked quietly when they finished _White Balloons_.

Mikan shrugged. "How about I go get something to drink, and you three figure some songs out?"

He blinked.

"If I take longer than two songs, you have my permission to embarrass me on stage. But only once. Then you have to sing two more, and so on."

He grinned widely. "Deal."

She rolled her eyes, turning to hop off the front of the stage, when she felt a pressure on her hand. She blinked, turning confusedly to look at Jamie, who had grabbed it.

"Um," he started awkwardly, avoiding her eyes with his own. "Look, when we're done here, I really need to talk to you. I-I haven't been very truthful to you and…" he sighed. "I just really need to tell you some things."

She nodded slowly. "I was wondering what's been up with you lately. You've been acting strange. Sure, we can talk later."

He nodded, looking relieved and nervous, which was an odd combination.

She jumped off the stage without interruption this time and started towards where a table for snacks had been set up.

She paused when she spotted Claire's and her family not far from it, then turned towards them, ignoring the song that Jamie had started.

"Hey, Claire," she greeted. "Claire's family."

Claire still looked exasperated; her father glared at her; her brother nodded, looking unhappy.

"Hey," Claire murmured. "You guys were doing good up there."

Mikan smiled. "Well, we'd be doing better if the rest of the band was with us. Of course, they're with their parents, which was kind of the point of today."

She nodded, still looking uncomfortable.

"Well, are you not going to introduce me? Gosh, Claire, what kind of friend are you?" she joked lightly.

Claire finally smiled slightly. "Mikan, this is my father and my older brother, Matt."

"Matthew," her father corrected.

She rolled her eyes at the same time her brother did. "Right. Matthew. Dad, Matthew, this is Mikan."

"Nice to meet you," Mikan said, holding out her hand towards Claire's father.

He just glared at her dangerously.

"Or not…" she whispered, retracting her arm.

Matthew rolled his eyes and held his hand out to her politely. "It's nice to meet you too."

His father glared at him this time. "So," he finally said, "You and that boy seem close."

She blinked. "Jamie? Yeah, he's my best friend."

"Girls and boys cannot be friends."

Mikan smiled. "Isn't that a rule for five year olds?"

Matt coughed to smother a laugh, turning away with an amused smile and Claire bit her lip to hide a smile.

Her dad, however, looked insulted. "Excuse me?"

"Well, it is, isn't it? You know, cooties and junk? I don't know about you, sir, but I grew out of that stage by the time I was ten." She noticed Claire was looking unhappy again. "What's wrong, Claire?"

She blinked. "Haven't you been listening to the song they've been playing up there?"

Mikan blinked, turning her attention to the song, then frowned slightly in recognition as Jamie took his turn in singing it with Jade.

"_Heal me from the scars of life._"

"_Breathe in me through this hard life._"

"_Save me from the sins of man_."

"_Pick me up so I can stand!_"

Mikan blinked. "_Stand_ by _The Letter Black_. It… sure is a song?"

"The lyrics, Mikan," Claire sighed. "I think the parents visiting thing is affecting Jamie."

Mikan bit her lip. "It probably is," she admitted. "I mean…" she sighed. "I should have thought of how Jamie would feel about it."

"The boy should get over it," her father scoffed. "So what if his parents didn't come?"

_What an asshole_. Mikan scowled darkly. Maybe Jamie had been polite despite this guy's attitude, but she didn't have to impress him. She turned to Claire. "Wow, Claire. Your father is an ass-face. I sure do hope he gets hit by a truck."

Claire nodded as if is was a sad fact that people wanted her father to be hit by a truck; Matt burst into uncontrollable laughter; her father looked like he was about to smash her face in with his fist.

"Well, bye then." She waved then took off to the snack table, snickering. She leaned against it slightly, watching the stage as _Stand_ ended, and Jamie turned to whisper the name of the next song they would play.

Then her eyes flicked towards Natsume.

The girl was still dangling off his arm obsessively, but Natsume didn't seem to care anymore, and was staring straight at Mikan.

She smiled weakly at him, but a moment later, he frowned and looked slightly annoyed as he looked at her.

"Uh, hey."

Mikan blinked, looking away from Natsume and at Matthew. "Hi. Here to bitch-slap me for saying that about your dad?"

He smiled, shaking his head. "No, not exactly." He scratched the back of his neck. "I wanted to thank you for saying that. He really needed to be told."

Mikan grinned. "Happy to have helped."

He laughed. "Of course."

Mikan glanced around awkwardly, eyes trailing past Natsume, who was still watching her. _Jealous moron_. "So, uh, what's his problem anyway?"

He shrugged, leaning against the table beside her. "I don't know," he sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "I think he's just upset that he missed seeing his 'little girl' grow up." He glanced at her. "You know about our mother, right?"

She nodded. "I know that she hit Claire a lot. I don't know why though."

He glanced around. "As far as I know, there wasn't really a reason. But it makes my father very protective of her."

Mikan nodded again. "You don't have to worry about Jamie at all. He's practically harmless."

"It's the '_practically_' that's wrong."

Mikan bit the inside of her mouth slightly, before finally saying, "Jamie would _never_ in a million years physically harm Claire. He tries his hardest to keep her happy, and he does a damn good job." She sighed. "Look, don't tell your father this, but Jamie's father was abusive. He knows what it's like. He wouldn't do it to anyone."

Matt's eyes were wide with shock. "I didn't know – I'm sorry. My dad said he'd ground me if I didn't go along with what he said."

She cocked an eyebrow. "Grounded? Man, you look like you're in your early twenties. Move out."

He smirked. "I plan to get a house with my girlfriend soon enough." His smirk widened. "Nice engagement ring, by the way."

She laughed lightly. "Thanks."

"Aren't you a little young to be engaged?"

"No, I'm eighteen now." She grinned. "But I've been engaged to him since I was eleven."

He blinked, looking impressed. "And you two can still stand each other? That's impressive. And kind of weird."

"Oh, no, we can't stand each other," Mikan waved off. "Half the time we're at each other's throats. But, you know, when you love someone, you have to put up with their flaws."

"Like the flaw of glaring dangerously whenever you talk to another guy?" He grinned.

"Ah, so you've noticed." Mikan nodded.

"He's making it hard not too."

"He's like that."

"Why's another girl practically in his pants if he's engaged to you?"

"Because she's a slut."

"Do you even know her?"

"No. But she's trying to get into my fiancés pants, and he's tried multiple times to get her off."

"Ah. I can see your reasoning." He smiled. "Well, I have to get back to my family. They think I'm just getting something to drink. Tell Jamie I'm sorry, alright? He seemed pretty nice. A bit overly polite, but nice. And my sisters face lit up when she was with him, so he's obviously got her wrapped around his finger."

"The feeling is mutual between them. And don't worry, Jamie is always overly polite."

"Right. Well, bye." He grabbed a can of soda, waved slightly and went back over to Claire and their dad.

After a moment, she focused on the song they were playing now, and inwardly sighed. _Broken Home_ by_ Papa Roach_.

So Jamie _was_ being affected by this. Or maybe he was in an all around bad mood anyway, but that was unlikely.

She grabbed her own can of soda, then paused and grabbed an extra for Jamie. She was about to start back to the stage, when someone stepped in front of her.

"Hello."

"Uh, hi?" Mikan greeted awkwardly. "Do I know you?"

A blond boy smiled. "No, you do not."

Well, at least he was honest.

"I'm here visiting a family member."

"I figured as much. You don't look familiar."

He nodded. "I'm Blake."

"Well, nice to meet you. I'm Mikan."

He nodded, reaching his hand out to shake hers. He eyed the ring on her finger as she reached out to shake his hand. "Nice ring. I'm assuming it was given to you by the guy glaring at me?"

She grinned, blushing slightly in embarrassment. "You assume right! Sorry, he gets jealous easily."

He just smiled. "It's fine, I understand. He's probably afraid that guys will be all over someone as good-looking as you."

She rolled her eyes. "Yup. It happens a lot more than you'd think. But he's letting that girl cling to him, so whatever. It's not like I'm throwing myself at you or anything."

He laughed. "I don't think I'd mind if you did. But that's not why I'm here."

She felt a wave of relief that he wasn't just here to flirt with her. "Okay, what do you need?"

"I just thought I'd give you this." He handed her a card. "My Dad works for a recording label. You guys are really good."

She stared down at the card with shocked eyes. "Are—are you serious?"

He smiled, nodding. "Of course. That's my dad's number right there." He pointed at one of the numbers on it. "I wrote mine on the back in case you can't reach him. I'll make sure you get a chance if you call, okay?"

She stared at the card again. "Wow. _Now_ I'm kinda tempted to throw myself at you," she joked.

"What the hell did you just say?" A voice snarled behind her.

Right. _Now_ Natsume would come over. She turned around, grinning despite knowing that he was about to tell her off. Either way, she would get to talk to him and that girl wasn't on his arm. At the moment. "Natsume! Hi."

"Don't 'hi' me!" he spit. "What the hell did you just say?"

Blake smiled nervously. "Right. Well, I have to get back to my family. Remember to call." She had a feeling he added that just to piss off Natsume.

That feeling was confirmed when he added a wink.

"Yeah, I'll definitely call," Mikan told him as he started away.

He grinned and disappeared into the crowd.

"Mikan," Natsume hissed.

She smiled. "Natsume."

"What the hell did you say to him?"

"I said, 'Wow, now I'm kinda tempted to throw myself at you'."

He scowled. "And you'll call him, why?"

"Because he gave me his number, and his father works for a recording label?" Mikan suggested.

He blinked, and a look of realization dawned on his face.

"You were being jealous for nothing, Natsume. You _know_ I wouldn't cheat on you." She frowned unhappily. "And who are you to tell me off when you have a girl clinging to you like that?"

He blinked again. "Mikan, are you jealous?" He sounded surprised.

"No," she lied angrily. "I'm annoyed that you let some girl press her boobs against your arm, then have the nerve to get pissy with me when I talk to a guy."

He looked faintly amused by the way she put it. "You're jealous."

"No."

"Yes, you are."

"I am not."

He smiled slightly, leaning his forehead against hers. "You can't possibly think I'd cheat on you with Ruka's cousin."

So that's who she was.

"I don't think you would. Especially because you looked so utterly infuriated that she wouldn't let go of you when you guys arrived." She paused and realized it was somewhat quiet. "Oh shit."

"What?"

Jamie wasn't singing.

Two songs were over.

_Oh shit._

"Well, ladies and gentlemen, my best friend Mikan told me that for every two songs I do, I can embarrass her. Hmm…" Jamie's voice rang out.

"I see," Natsume muttered.

"Well, it looks like you and Natsume have gotten pretty comfortable over at the snack table, if you know what I mean."

A second before everyone turned to look at them, Natsume moved away from her and Mikan bowed her head shamefully.

"Hey, wait, no, you two get back into that position you were in a minute ago. It was _way_ more embarrassing."

Thoughts about Jamie being murdered were suddenly more pleasant.

Jade sighed through the other microphone. "Jamie, stop. You've embarrassed her twice now, _and_ Natsume. Isn't that enough?"

"It's never enough."

Bastard.

"Jamie, next song," Jade commanded.

"But I—"

"Now, Jamie."

He sighed. "Fine, you lame-o. The next song we're doing, while Mikan flirts with Natsume, is called _Innocence_. And don't let the name fool you, Mikan and Natsume are anything but innocent when it comes to each other."

Blood pounded painfully in her head and she could feel practically the whole female population glaring at her, as well as adults giving her looks of disgust.

"_Jamie!_" Jade shrieked. "For God's sake, stop making them sound like whores and sing!" There was a pause. "Oh, and Natsume lit your pant leg on fire."

A cry of shock, courtesy of Jamie. "C'mon! I was just kidding around! Mikan said I could embarrass her, light her on fire instead."

Mikan continued to stare at the ground.

"Don't be a bitch, Jamie," Damien snapped. "You know that those two haven't fucked each other, so stop making innuendoes and get on with it."

Right, Damien, just embarrass everyone more. That'll help.

"I don't _know_ they haven't," Jamie corrected. "I _assume_ they haven't. I mean, Mikan cherishes her innocence, but Natsume is… well, he's Natsume. Are they even together? I mean, are they? Their relationship is so awkward."

"JAMIE, FOR FUCKS SAKE, SING!" Jade screamed at the top of her lungs.

"But I haven't everyone what happened when I walked in on them one—"

"JAMIE!" Jade screamed.

"No, wait, I want to know this one," Damien said, leaning towards Jamie expectantly.

A wave of dizziness swept over her and she tilted forward, into Natsume's arms.

"Oh shit!" Jamie laughed. "Oh shit! Did she just fucking faint? Did I just embarrass her so badly that she _fainted_?"

_No, Jamie, I am still conscious._ Though barely, and she was wishing she wasn't.

Natsume helped her stand up straight, looking mildly concerned and more then ready to kill Jamie.

"Oh good, she's alive. I thought I gave her a heart attack for a second there. Sorry, Mikan, but that's what you get for scarring my poor eyes when I walked in on you and Natsume."

"What were they doing?" Damien asked.

"Homework."

"Fuck you."

"Anyway, the next song is called _Innocence_ and it's by _Disturbed_, and I was just kidding with most of the comments I made earlier. We'll be doing this song while Mikan tries to pull herself together enough to come back on stage. And hopefully not kill me."

"Oh, I think you crossed that line," Damien muttered.

"Probably. Anyway, I'm really sorry Mikan… and Natsume, I suppose… actually, not really with the Natsume part. He deserved to get his ego beaten down in public. Mikan kinda did, but y'know, she's my best friend, so yeah. But that was funny as hell."

"Hell isn't funny," Jade pointed out.

"Shut up, Jade. Anyway, maybe we should actually get on with the song now…?"

"Now you want to get on with it."

"Yeah, that's what I said."

"You're despicable," Jade snapped.

"You bet I am! Anyway, the song?"

"Get hit by a car."

"I'm sure Mikan will be driving it. The song?"

"Fine," Jade sighed. "We can do the song now. But I'm going to help Mikan skin you later."

"Coolio. Song?"

Jade just sighed again.

"Are you okay?" Natsume asked quietly.

"Humiliated," she grumbled. "Dizzy. Murderous. Getting an evil look from Ruka's cousin. Kinda wishing a hole would appear in front of me. Guilty. Not exactly _okay_. You should probably let go of me."

"_Who is innocent? No one is innocent  
>Who is innocent?<br>Who is innocent? No one is innocent  
>Who is innocent?<em>"

"_Who is innocent? Is it relevant in the world today?  
>I shake my head in disbelief<br>The killer walks again, freed by evil men in their dark charade  
>This can't be happening.<em>"

"If I do, will you fall? And why are you feeling guilty?"

She blinked a couple of times. "I'll be fine," she sighed. "Guilty because of the song. All Jamie's been singing is sad, evil, broken family songs. He's unhappy because I got all the parents together. I _hate_ it when Jamie does this song. The first time he mentioned it to me he called it the song of his life. And it's disgustingly fitting for what happened to him."

Natsume nodded slightly.

"I'll be fine, Natsume. I mean, not _fine_, because I'm pretty sure I'm about to die from embarrassment, but you know. Good enough to get back to the stage. I don't suppose you've mentioned to you family that we're engaged?"

Natsume shook his head.

"Didn't think so." She sighed again. "I'll see you later. You know, when it's dark and no one can see us… and Jamie isn't anywhere near us."

He nodded slightly. "I'll help you kill him later. Bye." He waved slightly as she started off, grabbing her two sodas, now with the intention of shaking them violently and spraying them in Jamie's face.

"_A mother's selfish pride, her child's homicide, can she be to blame?  
>The suited vultures circling<br>A father's cruelty, a murdered family, is the world insane?  
>Their defenders ready to embrace their lies with their devious smiles,<em>

"_Your corruption is like a cancer growing inside  
>You owe the world an apology<br>You've been taught all your life that truth is easy to hide  
>You'll face your judgement another day, and suffer eternally,<em>

"_Who is innocent? No one is innocent  
>Who is innocent?<em>"

Mikan sighed as she walked past Claire's family.

Claire smiled sympathetically.

Matt coughed into his hand, smiling with amusement.

Her father, much like most of the other adults, glared at her disgustedly.

She continued to stare shamefully at the ground as she got closer to the stage.

"_Presumed innocent, justice fails again in the masquerade  
>A battered woman trembling<br>Her lover drunk again, when will the torture end in her web of shame?  
>Is death the only way?<em>

"_A child victimized, the crime politicized for the counselor's gain  
>The rabid media congregates<br>His tortured memories, a pervert's fantasies, is the world insane?  
>The parasitic devastation seen on your TV screen<em>."

She walked around to the back of the stage, where the steps were, and froze, the cans of soda falling out of her hands.

Two people were standing there.

One man, one woman, both disgustingly familiar.

How many times had she seen them in one of Jamie's old photo albums and wanted nothing more than to just destroy them?

Dawn Swift's eyes lifted from the ground to meet hers. "Mikan."

A chill ran up her spine. "I see you still remember me," she choked. Her eyes flicked to the man with her. "You're both so disgusting to show up. Get out of here now."

The man was staring at the ground, not moving. Frozen.

Dawn stared at her. "We need to talk to them. Jamie, at least."

"No. Get out." She backed up a step, toward the stairs that led to the stage. "Leave now. You'll hurt them. Can't you just leave them and move on? They have. They're finally happy. Everything's finally right. Don't ruin it."

"We'll leave once we've talked."

"How could you do this?" Mikan spat. "I'm not surprised you came, but bringing… bringing that_ monster_ with you? Don't you know what he did!" She stepped back again. "The screaming, the beating, the rape… and you brought him _here_!"

"He needed to explain himself too." But Dawn gave her ex-husband a look of disgust. "I hate him more than you do, girl. I'm not happy about him being here. If I could have it my way, he'd be dead."

Jamie's father still didn't move, but his eyes flicked up from the ground to look at them.

"Just get out of here," Mikan pleaded. "Everything's going well. Everything's good. Don't… don't ruin it."

"_Your corruption is like a cancer growing inside  
>You owe the world an apology<br>You've been taught all your life that truth is easy to hide  
>You'll face your judgment another day and suffer eternally<em>

"_False defender, burn forever  
>False defender, burn forever<br>Cold and spineless, have you no soul?  
>Wicked minded, out of control and guided<br>By their hunger they will find new ways to betray us_."

Another step back to the stairs.

"Let us—let me apologize. I—we need too."

"Disgusting," she said again. "To even come here, thinking for a moment that you have even a small chance at redeeming yourself. The songs they've been playing are all about you, about how you tortured them."

"_Your corruption is like a cancer growing inside  
>You owe the world an apology<br>You've been taught all your life that truth is easy to hide  
>You'll face your judgment another day and suffer eternally.<em>"

Another wave of dizziness.

She couldn't take this.

"By the time we're done on stage, you two better have disappeared." She turned and scrambled onto the stage, breathing in sharply.

"_Who is innocent? Is I relevant in the world today?  
>I shake my head in disbelief<br>Presumed innocent, justice fails again in the masquerade  
>Has the whole world become insane?<em>"

The song ended, and Mikan bolted over to Damien, who at first looked amused, then worried. "Are you okay? You look like you're going to puke."

She shook her head. "No—I'm… no. Damien, you have to get Jade out of here, _now_. They—Jamie's and Jade's parents—they came here. They're backstage. Make up some sort of excuse, just get her out of here now."

He nodded seriously, face dark with worry, walking over to Jade. "Hey, Jade. Introduce me to Arden's parents. Mikan wants to be alone with Jamie."

Jade smirked, probably thinking that Mikan had some sort of revenge planned. "Alright."

Damien hopped off the side of the stage, holding out his hand to Jade to help her down.

She laughed. "You could've just taken the stairs, you know." But she hopped off after him and they started towards Arden's family.

"Where are they going?" Jamie asked, stepping away from the mike and coming up to her. "Sorry, by the way. I didn't mean for the embarrassment to go that far." He paused and frowned. "Are you okay?"

"No—Jamie, you need to get out of here," a small sob cut her off.

He stepped toward her in alarm. "Mikan? What's wrong?"

She couldn't lie to him. She had decided to stop hiding things from him. She had to tell him.

"You're parents…" Her voice wavered. "They came. B-backstage."

He stared at her, looking like he had been hit in the head with a relatively large rock, before shoving past her and bolting to the stairs.

"No, Jamie, _don't_!" She ran after him quickly, stopping abruptly on the second to last step, behind Jamie, who was stiff with shock and horror.

"Jamie," Dawn whispered.

He started trembling, and Mikan grabbed the back of his shirt lightly. "Dawn," he choked after a moment.

His father was remaining wisely silent.

"How dare you show up?" Jamie hissed.

"We just wanted to apolo—"

"You think I could _possibly_ accept an apology from someone as disgusting as you?" He screamed, stepping forward until he was towering threateningly over his mother. "You think I could _possibly_ forgive you for leaving me, Jade and Jaylen alone, when more than anything, we needed _you_?"

Mikan racked her brain, trying to remember the name 'Jaylen'. She recalled Jamie saying it in his sleep a few times, but whenever she had asked, he'd always stop talking or change the subject.

"You think I can forgive _him_ for years of abuse, for… for raping his own daughter? You think there's even the slightest chance you can redeem yourself?"

His father finally looked up. "Jamie, I—"

"Don't talk to me!" Jamie cried. "Don't say my name, don't look at me, don't talk to me! Don't come anywhere near me _ever_ again!" He shook his head violently, then turned and ran.

Mikan hesitated slightly, glancing at his parents. "Everything was finally right," she choked, then ran after Jamie. "Jamie, wait!"

He didn't slow down, which didn't surprise her, just kept running. He only slowed down when they approached the elementary school building, which was a sign that they had been running along time.

"Jamie," she whispered, catching up to him.

"Go away."

"No, Jamie, you—" Before she could finish the sentence, Jamie turned around and shoved her roughly into the building. "Jamie, I'm sorry—"

"Just mind your own business," he spat angrily.

"Please, Jamie, calm down, everything's going to be fine—"

"Nothing's going to be fine!" he yelled. "Nothing is _ever_ fine, don't you get it?"

She shook slightly and coughed. "It will, Jamie, you always—" _tell me that._

"I always what?" he interrupted, laughing humorlessly. "What do you really know about me, Mikan? You've found happiness. I have nothing. I am nothing. I've always been nothing."

"Jamie, I know you're hurting—"

"You _know_?" he sneered. "How could you _possibly _know? How could you possibly understand the pain I deal with everyday – the pain that_ you _cause."

How did she hurt him? If he hadn't wanted to be her friend, he could have easily said so.

She fumbled for words. "Jamie, I…"

"You nothing," he choked, voice wavering. "You don't know half of the things I've went through."

She was silent for a moment, before finally trying again. "Jamie, if you just calm down, I'm sure we can—"

"Calm down?" he yelled, shoving his face close to hers. Suddenly, all the emotion in his eyes, all the pain and anger, was replaced with guilt. "Do you want to know…" He paused. "What I haven't been telling you for all these years?"

"You're scaring me," she choked, biting her lip.

He paused, eyes glazing over momentarily, before he moved his face away from hers slightly, as if realizing how close they were. "You should be scared of me," he whispered, voice blank. "I was there the night you were raped."

She froze. He was lying. He had to be lying.

"_I was right there,_" he said again, the guilt in his eyes seeping into his voice. "I could hear your screaming, I could hear your pleading. But I did _nothing_. I sat there and let it happen."

Tears blurred her vision.

"Kuonji hired him to do it, _right in front of me_. He offered _me_ the money to do it."

_No, no, no._

He didn't seem to realize that he had started crying as he turned and ran from her.

She pressed her hand against her mouth, sliding to the ground, back still pressed tightly against the elementary school buildings wall.

He knew. He was there. He could have saved her.

None of that stood out more than what he had said about Kuonji.

Kuonji had hired David to do it.

The pieces were falling in place.

David was bullied.

Disowned.

A one-star.

He needed money.

And Kuonji was there to offer it.

So David took it, because he was selfish.

And Jamie had let him.

But he had to have at least _tried_ to stop him, right?

She wondered.

Jamie had been offered the money to rape her.

He could have stopped it.

He was there.

He let it happen.

Then she came to America, and he probably knew who she was.

So he befriended her.

Out of guilt.

For years upon years, Mikan had thought he'd actually cared.

But he was just feeling guilted into it.

He wasn't really her friend.

He was faking.

Every smile, laugh, promise.

Every frown, cry, argument.

Everything was a lie.

Fake.

He had been lying to her.

Their friendship was a lie.

"Mikan?"

She glanced up, hoping to see Jamie, hoping he'd say he had been joking, hoping he'd explain himself.

But Natsume stood there, looking worried and confused. "Mikan? What are you doing? Why are you crying?"

She stared at him blankly.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't know," she choked. "Natsume, I—" She paused blankly. "I just—need to be alone, okay? I'll… I'll tell you later."

He watched as she climbed to her feet.

"I'm just… going to go to my room…" She stumbled away from him, ignoring his attempts at talking to her.

She needed to be alone.

To think this through properly.

Needed to talk to Jamie.

But for the first time, he wasn't here for her.

She bit her lip hard, wiping away her tears.  
>Jamie was never really there for her.<p>

He never really cared.

Everything was fake.

She swallowed painfully, running the rest of the way to her room, despite her legs screaming in pain.

She pushed open her door and walked in, freezing when the door shut behind her.

Two people.

One guard with a gun aimed at her.

One despicable man who had money to spare by hiring people to rape others.

"Kuonji," she choked, standing in the middle of her room. "You hired David to rape me."

He smirked. "Did the boy finally tell you the truth? Did he tell you he had the chance to stop it? To do it himself?"

"He told me," she replied calmly.

"You must be smart enough to realize that that means your friendship had no real value to him. He was guilty."

She nodded.

"Why do you think I let him live? What kind of threat is someone who doesn't actually care about you?"

She remained silent.

"But you're still alive," he hissed, suddenly sounding disgusted. "You woke up from that coma. You had to go and tell people what I did, didn't you? You could have died, like you wanted too."

The guard cocked the gun.

"But we can fix that."

She stared at him, then smiled. "You just won't give up, will you?"

Her door opened, and she whipped around to stare in surprise at Jamie.

Just as the gun fired, and a bullet buried itself in her chest.

* * *

><p><strong>Songs:<strong>

**If Only She Knew Voodoo Like I Do – Get Scared**

**Crush Crush Crush – Paramore**

**Brick by Boring Brick – Paramore**

**White Balloons – Sick Puppies**

**Stand – The Letter Black**

**Broken Home – Papa Roach**

**Innocence – Disturbed**

**Okay, my favorite part of this chapter is definitely the part where Jamie is embarrassing Mikan on stage. That was so fun to write, you don't even know. I kept rereading it and giggling to myself like the weirdo I am.**

**So, anyway, this is twenty-one pages, so you better appreciate it. It was hard to write, because I had writer's block for most of it. I ended writing like, seven chapters for the story on my other file.**

**So, err… this cliffhanger is… definitely a cliffhanger.**

**And for anyone interested, there should be about five more chapters, one of them being Jamie's Story: Part Two: Coward. It's thirty pages long at the moment. Will probably be about fifty x.X**

**Review, please? Also, I can't believe I have more than one hundred reviews. I lurve chu all.**


	29. Hate

**Throughout this chapter, I kept thinking of lyrics from the song Hate by Get Scared, so I will give you a quote from the song, because it helped me write this quicker.**

_**I've been falling apart  
>Self-destructive and hard<br>It's okay, it's okay  
>If you hate me<br>I've been living my death  
>Over and over again<br>It's okay, it's okay  
>If you hate me<br>Don't hate me…**_

* * *

><p>She wasn't sure what happened after that, because she blacked out, and awakened in the hospital at about midnight, the bullet out of her chest.<p>

The doctors had informed her that Jamie had called them and then put pressure on the bullet wound to stop the bleeding until paramedics arrived.

Kuonji had disappeared again, which wasn't exactly something she considered shocking.

Jamie and Natsume were both in the waiting room, waiting to hear how she was doing, and she was only allowed to see one of them.

When asked which one she wanted to see, she didn't reply, and they had left.

A few minutes later, Jamie walked in, eyes on the floor, feet scuffling the ground.

She said nothing and he hovered inside the doorway awkwardly.

"We really need to talk," he finally said when she made no move to talk.

"Do we? I think you've said enough."

He flinched. "No, I didn't say enough. I didn't… I didn't explain anything at all."

"You don't need to."

"Yes I do."

"I don't want to talk to you."

"Mikan please just listen…"

"I don't want to."

He sighed and she glanced at him out of the corner of her eye.

His hair was a complete mess, signaling he had raked his fingers through it an obnoxious amount of times. His eyes were rimmed red, showing that he had indeed cried, probably a lot, as they were also somewhat swollen. He was biting the inside of his mouth harshly, mouth curved down into a frown of unhappiness and confusion.

He sighed again, and she turned her eyes away from him.

"Look, I just…" Another sigh. "I did know about the rape, and I could've stopped it. And every second after it happened, I just—I felt like killing myself, and it just got worse when we became friends, because I knew that I was part of the reason you were hurting. I wanted to make you happy—"

"So what?" She interrupted, eyes tearing up. "You just became my friend because you felt _guilted _into it? Not because you seriously wanted to know me? Not because you actually cared?"

"No!" He cried, eyes wide. "Mikan, it wasn't like th-"

"Yes it was!" She snarled. "You couldn't save me when I was raped, so you thought you could save me after!" She turned and stared down at the familiar hospital bed. "Get out."

"Mikan please—"

Her head snapped back up so she could glare at him, and her anger burst forth. "_I trusted you!_" She screamed. "I trusted you more than anyone! _More than Natsume_! And you've been _lying_ to me for years! Our friendships a _lie_!" She picked up the empty food tray from beside her bed and threw it at him violently.

He flinched when it smashed into him, but didn't move. "Just let me explain," he pleaded.

Tears leaked from her eyes. "There isn't anything to explain, Jamie," she said coldly.

"Mik-"

"_Get out!_" She howled. "_Get out, get out, get out! I hate you!_" She threw some of the magazines on the hospital table at him. "I never want to see you again! Get _out_!"

One of the things she threw at him left a cut on his arm, and she almost got up to make sure he was okay when she spotted blood. She probably would have out of natural reaction if she hadn't just gotten a bullet taken out of her chest.

He stood there, frozen in shock, shoulders tense.

And she knew why.

Never had she ever said she hated him unless they were joking around. And they both knew she wasn't.

That didn't mean she seriously hated him – of course not.

Jamie was someone that you just couldn't hate completely.

She hated Kuonji.

She hated David.

She hated that Jamie had never told her about this until it was too late.

It was just like Jamie actually _did_ care about her, and it came off like he didn't earlier.

But the words were out, and there was no way to take them back.

Jamie ran.

* * *

><p>One week and a half weeks.<p>

_Technically_, she was still supposed to be in the hospital recovering, but this was Mikan, so naturally she had forced the doctors to let her out before she killed one of them.

It was surprising to her how weird it was, not talking to Jamie.

It was like her world had dulled.

Nothing occurred to her as funny or sad or happy.

Even with Natsume, she couldn't feel anything except numbness.

Everyone was trying to be fine about it, but she could see little flickers of annoyance in their eyes every once in awhile.

Jade had awkwardly avoided talking to Mikan in front of Jamie, as well as Claire, Arden, Mitsuki and Damien.

Jade still probably thought Mikan was annoyed about being embarrassed, but she made no comment, and the others knew better than to ask.

Jamie had taken to skipping most classes to avoid seeing her, and they never made eye contact.

Neither of them tried to talk to each other.

Mikan hadn't seen any sign of him for four days now.

Currently, she was sitting on Natsume's bed, doodling aimlessly on her binder.

He was beside her, reading a manga she hadn't bothered to remember the name of.

Or at least he was faking reading it. He hadn't flipped the page for a long while, and had a strange look on his face, leading her to think that he was either constipated or thinking hard.

Her lip twitched slightly as she recalled him telling her about what happened when he went back over to his and Ruka's family.

Aoi had given him a suggestive look and told him that she approved of his choice in girls.

Ruka had smiled and shook his head slightly in amusement.

Ruka's mother and father had both frowned at him in a disapproving manner.

His father had demanded that he explain what the hell had just happened, to which Natsume had coolly told him that Jamie was a moron and that he hadn't had sex with Mikan, cleverly avoiding admitting that they were engaged.

Ruka's cousin, Ami, had been utterly infuriated, and had apparently talked badly about Mikan until Hotaru's family came over.

Hotaru had heard one remark from her and shot her in the face with the baka-gun.

The family reunion had been cut rather short because Jamie had went and told them that she had been shot, leading to Natsume running to the hospital without hearing what had happened.

His family, along with Ruka's and Hotaru's had went to the hospital as well, but the mood had been ruined, and Natsume hadn't talked a lot, just to snap at Ami that she was a bitch (at which point Mikan felt a small flicker of amusement, followed by familiar numbness).

Finally, Natsume snapped the book shut, sighed, and looked at the ceiling. "Mikan, talk to Jamie."

She blinked. "I can't."

He stood up quickly, pacing the room, looking infuriated. "You're being a bitch," he snapped harshly.

Her eyes widened. "What? Natsume, you have to understand that I can't!"

He stopped pacing, and glared at her with surprisingly hateful narrowed eyes. "And you have to understand that even though I love you, he's still my friend. And both of you are suffering because of your stubbornness."

"He could talk to me."

His eyes narrowed further. "He _tried_ to. You told him you hated him. How the hell do you think that made him feel, Mikan? Of _course_ he can't face you."

She stared silently at his bedspread for a long while. "Why does it bother you so much?"

"I hate seeing you in pain, Mikan…" he sighed after a moment. "I know you still care about him."

She shook her head. "This isn't about _my_ feelings, Natsume. You're focusing completely on how Jamie must be feeling. What's wrong?"

He faltered slightly. Then he scowled at her again. "You're overreacting about this. If you would just hear him out…" He stopped and she motioned for him to continue. His gaze hardened and he stalked over to his door, ripping it open. "Maybe if you had just listened to him for five fucking seconds, he wouldn't have tried to kill himself. Come find me when you've come to your senses and talked to him." He slammed the door loudly, leaving Mikan in his room with wide eyes.

_He wouldn't have tried to kill himself_.

Jamie had tried to kill himself, and no one had said anything to her until now.

Jamie had tried to kill himself, and she hadn't even thought to ask where he was.

Jamie had tried to kill himself, and it was her fault.

She felt like she had been punched in the gut, and for a second thought she was going to throw up, before she struggled to her feet and started to Natsume's door.

She pulled it open and stared across the hall, at Jamie's room.

But he wouldn't be there.

He would be at the hospital.

And it was her fault.

She turned and bolted out of the building and towards the hospital, barely making it more than ten meters before a hand shot out and yanked her off the pathway and into the forest, covering her mouth with a sweet smelling cloth.

The world darkened and dipped beneath her feet as she stared into the familiar blue eyes in front of her own and she felt the barrel of a gun press against the side of her head.

"Don't scream," Kuonji whispered, and the world disappeared.

* * *

><p><strong>I'm nicknaming this chapter Short-Shit. Because it's short and not that good… And because it sounds funny.<strong>

**YAY, I GOT TO USE CHLOROFORM! In the story, I mean. Not in real life. *Shifty eyes* Erm, yeah. This was written on the same day as the last chapter (Or, rather, at one in the morning the next day). Will probably be posting it tomorrow… or later today, as it may.**

**Anyway, what does everyone think? I actually have Jamie's suicide attempt through his own view already written for Coward.**

**Anyway, if you could please review, kind sir or madam, it would be greatly appreciated. I mean, I think some people look at the amount of reviews and think, 'well, they already have so much, no need for me to review as well,' but I seriously get really hyped up whenever I get one. Same goes for fave's and alerts…**

**Also, which name do you like better, Ghost Town or Wasteland?**

**Because some of you may remember me mentioning my idea called Ghost Town. Name might be Wasteland now. It's more fitting… kinda. We'll see soon enough, I guess.**

**Also (again), has anyone noticed how much I use repetitiveness? A lot.**


	30. Heroes

She wasn't exactly sure where she was.

It was dark, cold and quiet.

For the most part.

Mikan decided that she was in a basement, or something along those lines, because she could hear walking above her. Someone had been pacing for some time now, and it had gotten quite irritating.

She was tied against the wall, so she couldn't somehow manage to get up the stairs to scream at the person. She wasn't sure she had enough energy to do anything, either.

She would have tried to burn through the ropes, but she couldn't manage to use any of her alices. It was like a barrier had went up.

She was left defenseless.

She jerked her head up when she heard the sound of a door opening, and then the sound of footsteps coming towards her.

With a flash of panic, she wondered if she should pretend to be unconscious to avoid confrontation.

_Too late._

Kuonji appeared in front of her, familiar scowl in place.

"I see you're awake," was all he said.

She stared at him tiredly. "Cool, you are too."

His scowl deepened at her attitude. "I suppose you know why you're here?"

"Kidnapping me, eh?" She paused. "I suppose you want me to do your bidding or you brought me here because there's no one to save me…"

He nodded, to which answer she wasn't sure. Both, probably.

"I want you to remove the alice stones your mother inserted in me."

"No," she replied without hesitation.

He glared dangerously at her. "I'm going to warn you now—I'm not going to be merciless on you. I am prepared to torture you."

She swallowed painfully. "So hiring someone to rape me was merciful?"

His eyes flashed. "He could have saved you."

She knew immediately that he was talking about Jamie. "Yes," she agreed. "He could have."

"Do you think he actually cared about you? He never did. You know that now, don't you? He became your friend because of guilt. He never cared about you."

Was he trying to verbally torture her? Because it wouldn't work, not now.

She laughed bitterly. "Then why'd he try and kill himself because I wouldn't talk to him? Can you explain that one?"

Kuonji walked in front of her, eyes glowing with malice. "Either way, he'll be dead by the end of the week."

She felt her heart drop, and she jerked violently to try and attack him, but the ropes restrained her. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"I _mean_," he started, sounding gleeful. "I've hired to somebody to kill him."

She lurched forward again, struggling violently in attempt to maim him in any sort of way. "If you hurt him I'll kill you!" she screamed, squirming frantically.

He snorted in an unbelieving manner. "I've arranged things, you moronic girl. If I'm ever killed, someone is to go after Hyuuga."

She had no reply to that, and she swallowed painfully.

"Either way you lose," he told her smugly. "Whether it's now or later, you_ will_ do as I say. For now, you can stay locked down here while someone kills your best friend."

She felt a wave of desperation as he turned back toward the entryway he had come through. "No!" she cried, and he paused in his step. "No! Don't hurt him! I'll do whatever you want, just don't hurt Jamie!"

Kuonji stood in front of the door, not turning as he replied. "It's too late for him."

She fell silent, sliding to the floor as he slammed the door, leaving her alone in the dark.

Before she could burst into tears – which she wasn't ashamed of, because it had been a horrible day for her – there was a crackling by her ear, and she jumped.

"_Mikan, can you hear me?_" Hotaru's voice asked.

She had forgotten about the tracker earring that Hotaru had made sure she wore at every second of the day. It had seemed ridiculous, but she was thankful for it now.

"Hotaru," she whispered under her breath.

"_You're such an _idiot_!_" Hotaru snarled. "_Are you okay? We're going to tell your uncle what happened and come and get you._"

"Fine…" she murmured. "Jamie. Is he okay…?"

There was some static. "_He's fine – he's with me and Hyuuga and Ruka right now. A little panicky because someone's going to try and kill him, but what can you do about that._"

Mikan nodded despite knowing that they couldn't see her. "Deal with the person after him before you concern yourself about me."

"_Mikan—_"

"Just do it, okay?" she snapped quietly. "I've been put through Kuonji's torture before, I can do it again! Jamie's safety over mine, okay?"

There was silence for a few moments.

"_Fine,_" Hotaru relented at last. "_As soon as we take care of this assassin, we're coming after you._"

"Fine."

There was a small click, signaling that Hotaru had turned the device off, and could no longer talk to her.

* * *

><p>She estimated that she had been down there for two days.<p>

Kuonji had come down once to loosen the ropes on her. She now had access to a small bathroom that was a few meters away from where she had originally been tied.

It wouldn't bother her that he hadn't shown up besides for that one other time, but he hadn't given her anything to eat, and she didn't know how to contact Hotaru, who hadn't said anything else to her, leaving her to wonder how things were going at the academy.

Jamie was still alive, or she would have been contacted. Probably.

But it would've been nice to know what was happening.

She blinked dry eyes and glanced up when she heard the door opening, eyes locking onto Kuonji tiredly. The floor hadn't exactly been a good place to sleep.

"Are you going to remove the alices yet?" he asked in a knowing tone.

She shook her head stubbornly, knowing that if she tried to talk, she'd probably just cough. The bathroom had no sink, thus she had no water. Her hands felt disgusting, but she wasn't about to drink or wash her hands in the toilet.

"I didn't think so," Kuonji said quietly. He glared at her, lips twitching into a smirk. "Then let the torture begin."

* * *

><p>"<em>Mikan, are you okay?<em>" Hotaru's voice asked through the device.

She didn't reply, just lay on the floor, staring blankly across the room at the wall.

Was she okay? Hotaru had most probably been listening to her screams of pain. Of_ course_ she wasn't okay.

"_Mikan, reply. Are you okay? What did he do to you?_"

No reply.

"_Mikan, we caught the person trying to kill Jamie. We're going to be heading your way soon. _Are you okay_?_"

She swallowed painfully. "No."

"_What did he do to you?_" she repeated quietly.

Mikan sniffed. "I didn't know Kuonji had a whip…"

"_A _whip?" Hotaru demanded. "_We're coming down right now. I'm going to kill that bastard._"

Mikan didn't bother mentioning that that wasn't all.

He had also doused her in water, then sent electric shocks through her – something she remembered in _The Hunger Games_ trilogy. She would probably never be able to read those books again.

Instead of mentioning it, she just mumbled out a small, "Okay" and continued to stare at the wall.

* * *

><p>Kuonji's hand whipped across her face quickly, and she reeled away from him.<p>

"You stupid girl!" he spat. "You thought I wouldn't find out that your friends are on their way here? I have my ways, girl!"

She bit her trembling lip, staring at the floor.

"They'll be disappointed when they find you dead." He pulled a knife out of his pocket, and Mikan thrashed wildly against the ropes to try and move away from him.

She wailed in pain when the knife was buried in her stomach, then pulled out, coiling into a ball on the floor.

The sound of Kuonji's footsteps led away from her, but she didn't move, curling her fingers into her shirt tightly.

"_Mikan, what did he do? We're almost there, hang on!_"

She didn't reply, just choked on a sob, watching her shirt turn red with blood.

She could hear Kuonji up the stairs, slamming a door. Was he leaving her to die here?

She chanced a look up, cringing at the pain it caused, and freezing in fear when she smoke coming out from under the door.

He had lit the house on fire.

She cried out in fear, moving back against the wall and lifting her shirt over her nose as the smoke traveled toward her.

"_Mikan, are you okay?_"

"F-f-fire," she sputtered quietly, slamming her eyes shut as the smoke stung them.

"_Fire,_" Hotaru echoed slowly. "_He lit the house on fire?_"

She blinked back her dizziness from the loss of blood, trying to locate the door through the smoke.

"_We're just outside. Mikan, you're in the basement, right?_"

Black spots danced in front of her vision, and before she could reply, the world disappeared from her once more.

* * *

><p><strong>Alright, I don't like this chapter. I have writers block, and I'm trying to find time to write in between trips to the doctor, new family counselor, new personal counselor—and visits to my dads house, where I can't write without my annoying step-brother trying to read what I'm writing. Plus I'm working for my step-father as well, so I've kinda got a job… It's harder than it seems…<strong>

**Uck, the next few chapters are just going to be mostly the future broken into bits, like this chapter was. You know, with line-breaks. Yup. The end is near… three-four more chapters?**

**Also, what would you guys think of another extra or two—besides Jamie's Story: Part Two: Coward?**

**My ideas are: looking into the past of my OC's. We know Jamie's and Jade's past, but what about the others? Claire's mother abused her, but why? Arden was the cause of his older brothers death—but how? Damien's parents stopped caring—why? David's parents disowned him, Mitsuki doesn't talk much about her family… anyway, should I write an extra about them?**

**And second idea: about David. Now, before you say you've had enough of him already, he'll be appearing again anyway. But you guys would like this extra because… he dies! Yup, I have his death planned, is there a problem with that? No? Good. So, would you guys like to see David's death through his eyes? (Well, I know you guys pretty much all want him to die anyway xD)**

**And: Ghost Town has been renamed Wasteland. Circle has been renamed Accidents Happen. One is still called One; Gorgeous Nightmare is still Gorgeous Nightmare. I have a Coming Soon/Future Ideas section on my profile now, so please check it out. Lots of little ideas in it – most taken from my other file. This is gonna be my Gakuen Alice file, I guess.  
><strong>


	31. Hurt

"…_And I know you lie to hurt me  
>Say that I'm not worthy<br>I pop another pill, I take another hit  
>And let's do it again,<em>

"_And now we go out separate ways  
>In a story that seems so sad<br>Am I a distant memory  
>Like a stranger you never even met<br>I need you every time that I'm alone  
>I feel you, please don't go,<em>"

Mikan blinked awake, grimacing at the familiar hospital room. She came here _way_ too much for her liking.

Her gaze flicked beside her, where Jamie was seated, guitar at hand—naturally. He was staring blankly at the wall across from him, eyes glazed, not seeming to notice that she had woken up.

"_And I know you lie to hurt me  
>Say that I'm not worthy<br>I pop another pill, I take another hit  
>So let's do it again<em>,  
>"<em>And I know you lie to hurt me<br>Say that I'm not worthy  
>I pop another pill, I take another hit<br>So let's do it again_,"

Tucked beside him, leaning against the armrest of the seat he was in, was a photo album. On the front cover, she could barely make out the messily scrawled name '_Jaylen_'.

He had been yelling about someone named Jaylen when his mother had come. She bit her lip slightly. This was probably going to be an important conversation they would be having.

"_And I know you lie to hurt me  
>Say that I'm not worthy<br>I pop another pill, I take another hit  
>So let's do it again,<em>

"_And I know you lie to hurt me  
>Say that I'm not worthy<br>I pop another pill, I take another hit  
>So let's do it again,<em>

"_I know you lie to hurt me  
>I know you lie to hurt me<br>I pop another pill, I take another hit  
>So let's do it again…<em>"

Knowing the song was over, Mikan tried to sit up, but cried out in pain as soon as her back moved.

Jamie, who had been staring blankly at the wall, instantly whipped around to look at her, eyes wide with shock. He moved quickly, setting his guitar down beside the chair so that it was leaning against the wall, then standing up and bending over her worriedly.

His hand went to her cheek. "Mikan! D-don't move—Kuonji hurt you—whipped you." He blushed and moved his hand away from her face. "S-sorry."

"What happened?" she asked in confusion, sitting up slowly.

He watched her movement carefully for a moment before replying. "You passed out in the basement where Kuonji had you. He lit the place on fire."

She nodded, cutting him off. "Yeah, I remember that. What happened after?"

He blinked. "Oh, um… we arrived at the house and it was up in flames. Hotaru was trying to talk to you through that stupid device-thingy, but you weren't replying." He shrugged. "I ran in. That was stupid on my part, but people do stupid things when they panic. But I guess it was also smart, because otherwise you probably would've died. Anyway, I got you out of there, and we brought you back to the academy and got you into the hospital instantly."

She nodded slowly. "Look, Jamie, I—we—"

"Wait," he interrupted, holding one hand up. He picked up the photo album and handed it to her. "Look through this."

"But I—"

"Look through it, then we'll talk," he said, sitting back down and picking the guitar up as if to say he wouldn't listen to anything she said until she did as he said.

She rolled her eyes, flipping the first page open.

There was two pictures separated by a small note.

The first one was of Jamie's family before his father became a drunk. His parents were standing close together, Jade standing at their feet, and Jamie's dead older brother was holding Jamie on his shoulders. All of them were smiling without a care in the world.

The note between the pictures read: _Take care of my guitar, lil' bro. I'll find some way to get you when me and Mel have settled down somewhere. Wait for me.  
>-Jared.<em>

She blinked. _What the hell?_

The next picture was much different than the first.

Dawn Swift was there, not smiling, no husband beside her, eyes dead.

Jade was on one side of her, facing away from the camera, bruise clearly visible on the side of her head, smile gone, replaced with a blank, uncaring expression.

Jamie was on his mothers other side, holding a little girl in his arms, faking a smile at her to get her to smile for the camera.

Mikan glanced at Jamie out of the corner of her eye, but he had resumed staring across the room.

She flipped the page. On the left page, there was a letter from an adoption center, talking about someone named Jaylen. She was doing fine, but would cry for her family sometimes; some couples had looked at her and asked about adopting her, but they had heard the 'rules' and changed their minds. Three pictures would be included with the letter.

She flicked her eyes to the page opposite of it, where three pictures were, of the same little girl that Jamie had been holding in the other picture.

She flipped the page again.

The letters remained practically the same for many pages, and the pictures continued with them.

Finally, after reading plenty of letters that barely had any differences to each other, she stopped on one that was different.

It was smaller than the others, saying even less than the usual few paragraphs—instead of explaining how Jaylen was, it said she had gotten adopted, and that the adopters would be sure to send letters every week.

She flipped the page.

The letter was completely different now – the handwriting had changed, it was longer, and on the page opposite there was five pictures instead of the usual one, two or three.

The letter explained that the adopter's were a husband and wife who didn't have any children, and thought they would adopt. They had been thinking about adopting her for a long time, and had finally decided to do it. They agreed to the 'conditions', which Mikan still didn't know about, and would send letters weekly.

No name signed it.

She flipped the page.

* * *

><p>Mikan sighed lightly and held the photo album out to Jamie.<p>

He grabbed it from her, eyes not moving away from the wall.

She had learned things from the letters and pictures:

First, Jamie had a little sister he hadn't bothered to mention.

Second, Jamie was demanding when it came to her.

Very demanding.

She was surprised, but not a lot, that someone would actually adopt someone with so many rules.

Third—

"Well, what do you think?" Jamie asked, interrupting her thoughts.

She blinked. "I think I should beat you up for not telling me things. And I would if I could move without wanting to overdose on painkillers."

He nodded, not fazed. "Sorry."

"Want to explain?" she asked in annoyance.

"Will you let me this time?" he countered, eyes narrowing.

They scowled at each other moodily.

"Fine," Mikan relented, sitting back slightly in the hospital bed.

He stared up at the ceiling thoughtfully. "When I was seven, my older brother Jared played his guitar for me." He looked down at the guitar he was holding. "He told me that one day, he wanted to be a guitarist, and to marry his girlfriend, Melissa.

"My dad didn't like Melissa for some reason. He never did. Her parents didn't like our family, my mom didn't really like them. So Jared and Melissa planned to fake their deaths so they could be together. He told me that he would leave me his guitar."

He motioned to the guitar on his lap. "He also mentioned how he had seen my dad drinking more and more, and he was going to try and get me and Jade out too. Obviously, that plan backfired." He flinched at his choice of words for some reason. "My brother left me the note in the beginning of the album, and told me not to tell anyone he was alive.

"My dad thought he was dead, and started drinking more, as you know. Actually, you know most of what happens next. What you don't—or didn't—know, is that my mom was pregnant with another child – Jaylen.

"After a few months of abuse, Jaylen just… showed up, as it may. My dad didn't notice her, my mom was to caught up in herself to care for her properly, and Jade and I adored her."

"Does Jade remember her?" Mikan interrupted. "I mean, she didn't repress her memories after my coma, so…"

Jamie hesitated. "I don't know," he admitted. "I think she probably does, but she's probably afraid to bring it up."

"Anyway," he continued. "You know what happens from there. My mom left, my dad continued to drink, raped Jade, et cetera. Jaylen went to an adoption center, and was there for over half a year before she got adopted. I think she's eight or nine now?" He shook his head distractedly. "I dunno. It's been a distracting few weeks.

"But you know what happens from there for the next while. Let's skip to the night you were raped." He glanced at her unsurely. "The students who were learning Japanese got to go on a trip to Japan if they could afford it." He looked up at the ceiling again. "I remember that Utau had put money away for David, because he didn't really get much.

"We were touring around, heading to a park, when Kuonji appeared. He walked with Utau until we got to the park, when she excused herself to go to the restroom.

"Kuonji walked over to the group I was with. There was two kids I didn't know and David with me. At the time, me and David were… on friendly terms, and I didn't really know anyone else in the groups, so I stuck with him." He paused again, and turned to her. "Before David raped you, he wasn't a bad guy. He got bullied a lot. I don't mean occasionally. I mean _a lot_. Everybody would gang up in him because he had failed grades and his parents didn't want anything to do with him. I was one of the few people who treated him like a… like an actual _person_. People would beat him up, take his money, take his food, break into his room and ruin it…

"So when Kuonji offered him money, he was desperate. I don't mean to defend him," he added quietly, "but everyone has their own side to the story. Kuonji said he wanted someone to rape a girl for him—after he mentioned that he'd kill anyone who said anything. The two others left, I froze, and David looked absolutely stunned.

"I don't think he wanted to do it. I think that he regretted it right after he agreed. I tried to tell him not to do it, but he just ended up hitting me." He grimaced. "I think the stress and anger and hatred was getting to him. He wasn't really a violent person, but like I said… anyway, Kuonji told him what to do, but I didn't really hear it properly, because David had kicked me in the stomach, and I was trying not to throw up.

"We went to a hotel later – by then, David had disappeared to a gas station to 'use the bathroom'. Awhile later, I heard your screaming." He looked down at his shoes. "I don't think I could've helped you, no matter what I did. I wanted to get up and help, but when I heard your screaming…" He paused, shaking his head. "I don't know. It was like it was happening to Jade all over again. I could see and hear it happening all over again, right in front of me. I kept hearing your screaming through it, and I wanted to move, but it was like with Jade – like my dad had hit me and I just… couldn't move." He paused again, staring blankly at a spot on the floor. "I think I spent the whole night just screaming into the pillow, but I think I might have also repressed some of that night. I don't know. Looking back at it, it all happened really quickly, but when it actually happened, it felt like it would never end."

He leaned back in his chair. "That's it."

Mikan remained silent for a long moment, before reaching behind her, grabbing the hospital pillow, and smashing it across Jamie's face, despite the pain it caused.

"I guess I deserve that," Jamie said, not reacting otherwise.

"Yes," Mikan agreed. "You did." She hit him with it again. "You are such a fucking _idiot_!"

"I know."

"How could you keep this all from me?"

"Sorry."

"And then going and trying to kill yourself! _Idiot_!"

"Sorry."

"I mean, really! You were going to leave all the people that love and need you because I didn't talk to you for a _week_? You stupid bastard, I should rip your lungs out through your nostrils!"

"You don't see me stopping you."

"You probably scarred Claire for life – and Jade! And you know how sensitive Arden is!"

"_Trés_ sorry."

"Stop speaking French while I am mad at you!"

"…_Trés, trés_ sorry?"

"_Jamie!_"

"Sorry."

She huffed and put the pillow back behind her head, leaning against it tiredly.

"Look," Jamie started again. "I'm really sorry. I was going to tell you this after the parents' visit, but when my parents showed up… I don't know. I couldn't handle that. I came off sounding like a complete jackass that didn't even care about you or anything – and I do. Care, that is. I lied and hid things from you, but, you know, I do care – I wasn't faking my friendship or how much I care—that's all real." He bit his lip and ran his fingers though his hair. "I really didn't know David was the one that raped you—I heard someone come into the hotel right around the time you started screaming – I thought maybe David had changed his mind at the last minute." He sighed. "I guess not."

Mikan bit the inside of her mouth thoughtfully.

"I didn't lie about my feelings for you," he continued. "I do love you – more than I'd like to admit. I mean, you're my best friend… I don't know what I'd do without you…" He ran his hand through his hair again. "I should have told you. I'm such a damn _coward_," he spat the word with hatred, and the hand that was in his hair curled into a fist.

Mikan blinked at him stupidly. "You? You aren't a coward, Jamie."

He shot her an unbelieving look from the corner of his eye.

"I'm not kidding, Jamie. I don't know _anyone_ braver than you." She shook her head slightly, surprised. "You've put up with so much crap over the years, and you only gave up _once_. You've been through more than _me_ and I've tried to kill myself so many times, I cut myself, I hated myself so much… but you've dealt with it all! With me and my past, with Jade losing her memory and never remembering what you two went through, with living with a disorganized family… and you only broke _once_."

Jamie stared at her uncomprehendingly for a moment before shaking his head and turning to the wall again. "Whatever. I still didn't save you, didn't save Jade, left Jaylen, tried to kill myself… those were cowardly acts."

She snorted. "No one is perfect, Jame. No one expects you to be able to save everyone." She paused. "And you did save us. You saved me from myself; you protected Jade from her past; you saved Jaylen from a horrible future."

He sighed lightly, arms crossed over his chest. "Well, what happens now?" he asked quietly, changing the subject.

She bit the inside of her mouth again. "Now? Everything goes back to how it was."

"Except better," Jamie added, smiling in relief. "Because now I don't have to ignore you or hide things from you."

Mikan nodded. "Oh. And Kuonji did more than whip me."

Jamie sat upright, face hardening. "That bastard! What did he do to you?"

"He didn't give me food," she mumbled first. "Then before he whipped me—or maybe it was after, I can't really remember—he soaked me in water and sent electric shocks through me."

"Bastard," Jamie hissed again. "You're fine though, right? Do you want me to go get the doctors? Or maybe a nurse or—"

"Jamie!" she interrupted. "I'm fine." She rolled her eyes. "Just stay here with me, okay?"

He fell back in his seat, frowning.

"Oh," she murmured. "Jamie, I don't know if you noticed, but…" She paused, staring at the photo album. "The note and the letters—"

"The writing is identical," Jamie finished. "I know."

"Well, do you think maybe—"

"Please don't finish that sentence," he pleaded, voice cracking. "I don't want to have any false hope."

She nodded slightly, looking down at the bed sheets. "Sing."

He glanced at her, a smile idling his lips, glad for the subject change. "Sing what?"

She paused thoughtfully, then smirked. "_Let the Bodies Hit the Floor_."

He grabbed his guitar and paused, narrowing his eyes, turning to her. "You're still mocking me for that fractured ankle, aren't you?" She grinned and his eyes widened. "That was almost three years ago!"

"Yolo."

He raised an eyebrow. "You only live once? Ha-ha."

"Help, I've fallen and I can't get up!"

"Very funny."

"IT KEEPS HAPPENING!"

"Stop it."

She grinned innocently.

"What song, Mikan? And _don't_," he added, glaring at her, "say _Let the Bodies Hit the Floor._"

She sighed dramatically. "Well then how about _Stay Alive_?"

"_Smile Empty Soul_?"

She nodded.

He smiled slightly.

"_When nothing you say is heard  
>And nobody cares if you hurt<br>I know how it seems  
>You're nothing but screams<br>But take it from me, it's not the end…_"

* * *

><p>"I can't believe it," Mikan breathed, eyes wide. "We're <em>graduating<em>!"

"It's not that shocking," Jamie said quietly, sending her an amused look. "You're smart enough – surprisingly."

She scowled at him. "That's not what I meant. I _meant_ I'm surprised I'm still alive to experience it."

He shrugged, shaking his head, eyes wide with fake annoyance and shock. "I know! You just won't _die_!"

She shoved him slightly. "Which one of these seats is yours?"

"Who cares? It's obvious that I'm just going to steal someone else's seat so I can be near you."

She nodded, smiling. "True. I think Uncle mentioned that we could sit wherever we wanted."

"Cool." Jamie's eyes scanned over the area uncaringly.

Mikan followed his gaze.

Seats were set up all over, and some parents or family friends littered the academy grounds, waiting.

The graduating students were all piled together around Jamie and her, sharing temporary goodbyes – naturally they would meet up again in time.

Up on the stage, her uncle was talking quietly to Narumi and Shiki, who had come back to the academy a while after she fell into a coma.

"Disgusting," Jamie suddenly muttered.

She blinked at him in confusion, before following his gaze over to where Damien and Mitsuki were standing.

"Oh dear God, why would you point that out to me?" Mikan shrieked, slapping her hand over her eyes. "That image will forever be burned into my mind now!"

Jamie rolled his eyes. "You're exaggerating."

"No I'm not! Oh God, I never needed the image of my best female friend grinding against her boyfriend, Jamie! _Ew_!"

He rolled his eyes again, turning his gaze back towards the parents. "Oh look, there's Claire's father and brother." He rubbed his had over his face, groaning. "They'll probably ruin everything."

Mikan smirked slightly. "Does Claire have any idea of what you're planning?"

"No. Jade's oblivious too." His smirk matched her own. "Screw that though. Like hell I'm letting them ruin me and Arden's plan."

Mikan's smirk turned into a full-out grin. "It'll be entertaining, that's for sure." She paused. "Oh, Matt thought you were fine, by the way. Claire's dad just told him to act like that."

Jamie blinked. "O-kay then."

Mikan watched the parents. "There's Ruka and Natsume's families." She grimaced. "And they brought the slutty cousin with them. Joy oh joy."

Jamie laughed quietly. "You'd think she'd leave him alone after what I said on stage."

She grimaced further. "Uh, yeah. Still planning revenge about that, by the way." She continued looking. "Ooh, ooh!" She pointed into the crowd. "There's Blake!"

Jamie blinked again. "Who?"

"His dad works for a recording label."

Jamie's eyes widened. "Why is this the first I am hearing of this?"

She sighed. "I got shot right after he gave me a business card. Blood got all over it and I couldn't read it." She grabbed Jamie's hand, dragging him towards the crowd. "Let's go say hi to him!"

Jamie sighed but didn't struggle, just allowed her to drag him towards Blake.

She grinned, walking up behind him and screeching "Boo!" at the top of her lungs.

Blake jumped about two feet into the air and whipped around to face her, looking mortified. He blinked when he stared into her laughing face, frowning. "_That_ was not nice."

She continued to laugh for a moment before replying. "Sorry, I'm not one to resist temptation."

"You never called," he complained, changing the subject.

She grinned when he pouted at her. "Sorry. I got shot, and the card got covered in blood. I was wondering if you could give me another."

He looked stupefied. "You got _shot_?"

She nodded. "Don't concern yourself over it, it's happened before. I'm used to it."

He stared at her as though she was insane, before coughing and reaching into his pocket. "Uh, yeah, you can have another," he mumbled awkwardly. He handed her a card and she pocketed it quickly.

"Thanks."

He nodded. "Uh, sure. No problem." His confused look transformed into a smirk when he glanced at Jamie. "That was some entertainment on stage after I left, huh?"

Mikan groaned. "Please don't remind me."

His smirk widened, meaning only one thing: revenge for scaring him.

"It was pretty funny." He grinned. "Not innocent, huh? Should've known an attractive girl would find an attractive guy to be uninnocent with."

"First," Mikan growled. "Uninnocent isn't a word. Second, I _am_ innocent, if you put it into context. Third, Jamie is an idiot. Fourth, you think Natsume is attractive?"

His mouth opened and closed, and he turned pink. "N-no—I—not me—girls—they were talking about him—I—I'm not—"

"It's okay, Blake," she said, biting back a smile and putting her hand comfortingly on his shoulder. "I won't judge you based on your sexuality."

"N-no, I—"

"Well, we really must be going now," Mikan interrupted, smiling. "Good day to you, kind sir." She pulled Jamie away from Blake before he could respond fully, giggling madly.

"Way to not introduce me," Jamie whined, but he sounded amused.

"Sorry," she apologized, not at all sorry. "But we got his number! Should I give it to you, Jamie? I think he'd like it better if a _guy_ called…"

He laughed. "You're such a jerk."

She laughed with him. "Hell yeah I am!" She looked up at the stage, where her uncle was finally approaching the microphone. "Oh snap, better get to the others." She quickened her step, dragging Jamie with her.

"I am quite capable of walking by myself," he complained in a tone that implied he didn't actually care he was being dragged around.

"And?"

He didn't reply.

"That's what I thought." She grinned as they piled in with the rest of their class. "OMG, in minutes, we will be forever rid of this hellhole!"

"Did you really just say OMG?" Jamie questioned. "And you plan on being a teacher here, remember?"

She nodded. "Yeah, yeah. But I _refuse_ to live here. Nope. No way. Natsume and I will find a house not to far away – and you can move in down the street!"

He smiled. "What makes you think I'm staying in Japan?"

"I'm here – duh."

He shook his head slightly. "Well, can't argue with that. Yeah, it would be awesome if I could get a house close by to yours."

"With Claire?" she suggested, wriggling her eyebrows suggestively.

He rolled his eyes, and she grinned wider when his cheeks turned pink. "Hopefully, yes, with Claire."

"Arden and Jade could be your crazy neighbors!" Mikan suggested.

"Crazy indeed."

She fidgeted. "What's going to happen to Jaylen then? If you're staying in Japan, then, you know, she probably won't come. I mean, she speaks English."

Jamie shrugged, frowning. "I don't know. I mean, I still have to get a job, a house, all that anyway. I'm still thinking about it." He sighed. "I doubt she even wants to meet me anyway. I mean, I haven't been in her life for so long, why should she care about me? She probably hates me for leaving her…"

She wrapped her arms around his waist. "No one can hate you, Jame. You just can't be hated!" she shook her head in mock exasperation, mimicking his earlier mocking.

He rolled his eyes again. "Stop it." His eyes flicked towards the stage. "Well, looks like we have to grab random seats now. Gotta love the no-routine thing around here."

"It's been a hectic year, and no one follows the rules anyway," Mikan waved off.

The students around them started filing out towards the seats, and Mikan bolted out, plopping down in a random seat.

Jamie sat in the seat in front of her, Arden and Jade on his left and Claire on his right.

Natsume sat beside her coolly, Mitsuki a moment later jumping into the seat on Mikan's other side. Damien sat beside Mitsuki.

Hotaru and Ruka sat behind her and Natsume.

She smiled at Natsume excitedly. "Last chance to kiss me before we graduate," she teased, wrapping her arms around him.

He rolled his eyes, something he did almost as much as Jamie did. "I'll live."

"You'll regret it," she insisted.

"I don't want to."

"You don't _want_ to kiss me? Bullshit."

He ignored her completely.

"Well I could always just find someone _else_ to kiss," she sighed dramatically.

Natsume's eyes narrowed.

Even though they both knew she wouldn't, she still managed to irritate him.

She pouted at him when he didn't react in any other way. "You're no fun."

He stared ahead blankly.

She huffed, unwinding her arms from around him and sitting back in her seat.

Jamie turned around in his seat, smirking slightly. "Don't kill me for what I did."

She blinked in confusion. "What are you—?"

The rest of her question was cut off as her uncle started speaking, and Jamie winked at her, turning back to face the front.

Mikan tuned out the speech before Kazumi started reading off the names.

She bounced slightly in her seat, waiting for her name to be called as people around her went up to her their diplomas.

In front of her, Jamie and Arden both turned to look at her, grinning evilly.

She blinked then narrowed her eyes at them, then looked up as her name was called.

Or, half called.

"Mikan Yuki—" Her uncle faltered slightly and smiled in amusement.

Jamie and Arden high-fived.

Kazumi cleared his throat. "_Someone_ changed her name to Mikan Yukihara Hyuuga." His gaze was clearly on Jamie and Arden, but he didn't single them out.

Mikan gave them a murderous look as she walked up on stage, ignoring the whoops of her ridiculous friends. She snatched her diploma out of her uncles hand, giving him a '_why would you say that out loud?_' look as she went to stand with her classmates at the side of the stage.

Natsume cast her a side-glance as she slouched beside him, glaring into the crowd at Jamie, who was snickering with Arden.

"I'm going to kill them," she hissed to him.

Jamie's name was called, and she perked up slightly, watching him with narrowed eyes as he grabbed his diploma and started towards Claire. She stuck her foot out to trip him, but he stepped right over it, mouthing '_Nice try_' at her as he past.

After a few minutes, Arden was called up, and she stuck her foot out again.

He smiled at her, kicking it out of the way, and she made a face at him, causing him to laugh lightly.

She scowled moodily at the ground, waiting as the rest of the graduating students were called up. With a small sigh, she looked back up, eyes trailing over all the people she had gotten to know over the while she had been at Gakuen Alice.

Everyone was wearing their usual attire – Koko and Kitsunme had pulled a prank that involved burning all the graduation gowns and caps – and they were glancing around them, much like Mikan herself. She noticed that a few of the girls had tears in their eyes, apparently overtaken by the not exactly emotional event. Some of the boys were giving them exasperated looks, as if wondering how someone could get teary-eyed about leaving school.

She was brought back to reality when Natsume kicked her heel lightly, motioning discreetly to her uncle.

He was just finishing talking, and Mikan missed what he said, smiling in amusement when Koko pretended to throw an invisible hat in the air.

A couple of people laughed at him, and everyone else started cheering.

Mitsuki tackled her into a tight hug, squealing.

Great, she had just graduated, and she had been so distracted by her thoughts, she had pretty much missed it.

She let out a small shriek of shock as her feet were swept out from under her, slamming her eyes shut out of natural reaction. After a moment, when she realized she wasn't falling to her doom, she cracked them open again to glare at Jamie, who was grinning madly at her.

"Embarrassed by the prank?" he asked.

She scowled at him and he laughed. "You're such an ass, you know that, right?"

He nodded, unfazed. "I know." He set her back on her feet, smile intact. "Now, if you don't mind, I have to find Claire before her family does."

"Good luck," she murmured as he waved and started away from her. She glanced behind her, noticing Natsume had disappeared. He was never one for celebration, so she wasn't surprised.

She squeaked when she was tackled over by Jade, followed by Arden, then Mitsuki again.

"Group hug!" Arden shouted gleefully.

She struggled away from them, scowling playfully. "You people are so stupid."

"You love us," Arden waved off.

"Unfortunately," Mikan sighed, "it seems I do."

"_Unfortunately_," Arden scoffed. "It is not unfortunate."

She rolled her eyes. "Arden, don't you have something to be doing?"

He blinked and grinned. "Right. Jade, come along." Without waiting for a response, he grabbed Jade's hand and started dragging her away.

Mitsuki raised her eyebrows questioningly.

"Just wait awhile."

She shrugged. "Well, whatever then. I'm off to find Damien… or maybe food."

Mikan smiled in amusement. "How about both?"

She nodded. "That sounds perfect. Yummy, yummy food… and yummy, yummy Damien."

"Please leave now."

Mitsuki laughed. "I'm just kidding."

"I know. But yuck."

She laughed again. "Alright then. I'll see you later, I'm off to find yummy things."

"You better mean food."

"Bye!"

Mikan cringed, turning and looking around.

Jamie had just nabbed Claire, whispering something and pulling her a little ways away from her family. Arden had dragged Jade not very far from them.

Natsume was over with his and Ruka's family. Ruka's cousin, Ami, was keeping her hands to herself this time, to her relief.

_Baka!_

Mikan flinched when a bullet from Hotaru's baka-gun connected with her arm, letting out a cry of protest, and turning to glare and Hotaru and Ruka. "What was that for?"

Hotaru shrugged. "You should stop staring at people and find someone to celebrate with, idiot."

"I don't have anyone to celebrate with."

"What about Hyuuga?"

She shrugged. "I'm pretty sure he hasn't mentioned that we're engaged. Besides, I'm not sure I'll ever be able to look at the Hyuugas' in the face after Jamie embarrassed me so many times…"

Hotaru's eyebrows rose challengingly. "You're _scared_?"

"Never!" Mikan denied quickly.

"Then why don't you go over there and tell them?"

"…Because…"

"Because you're scared."

"I'm not!"

"Well then I suspect you'll be coming over there with Ruka and I?"

She had been conned. She should have suspected that from Hotaru. "…Fine."

Hotaru smirked and Ruka smiled sympathetically.

She jumped on the balls of her feet in excitement as she followed them. "Are you two happy to be done here?"

Hotaru shrugged again. "I don't suppose it matters much."

Ruka smiled. "I'm relieved. I haven't felt safe here for years – it'll be nice to be out."

Mikan nodded. "Do you think Kuonji will leave me alone now? I mean, he can't really kidnap me now. We could call the police about it now."

Hotaru and Ruka glanced at each other.

"I don't know," Hotaru said at last. "He isn't one to give up easily."

"Or ever…" Ruka murmured.

Mikan frowned. "I'm trying to brighten my outlook on life, you two. You're not helping."

Hotaru rolled her eyes. "I'm not going to lie about it. There's still a chance he'll come back – we can only hope otherwise."

Mikan sighed, changing the subject. "Can I at least have a yay-we-graduated hug?" Without waiting for a response, she jumped at Hotaru, wrapping her arms around her with an amused grin.

Hotaru glared at her, but didn't fight Mikan's hug away, and Ruka hugged her back without hesitation when she hugged him.

When Mikan finally let go of him, Hotaru sighed slightly in exasperation, turning on her heel and starting towards the Nogi's and Hyuuga's again, Ruka and Mikan right after her.

"Natsume!" Mikan called as they approached. Everyone glanced over at them, Ami's eyes noticeably darkening, as Mikan darted forward, tackling Natsume into a hug.

He stumbled slightly at her sudden weight before balancing himself and snapping, "Let go of me, you idiot!"

"No!" She smiled widely at his irritated expression. "I am getting hugs from all of my friends, and you, Natsume, are one of them. No matter how much you claim that I piss you off and that I don't matter."

"Let _go_."

"No, you're not hugging me. You are standing there while I hug you."

He glared at her.

"Alright, I also like embarrassing you," she admitted shamelessly. "But aren't you happy? We graduated! We can leave this hellhole! Start new lives, turn over a new leaf… get jobs, get our own houses, be with our families, get… _married_." She bit her lip in amusement when his eyes narrowed further at her. "And speaking of marriage!" she all but screamed. "Look over at Jamie."

For a moment, she didn't think he would, but his curiosity got the better of him, and he turned in the direction Jamie was, everyone else's eyes following his.

Jamie was leaning slightly over Claire, fiddling with the hem of her shirt nervously.

"Jamie, you said you wanted to talk to me?" Claire sounded faintly amused by Jamie's odd actions – not that anything Jamie ever did was _normal_.

"Uh, yeah," he said in a distracted voice. "Well, I was just thinking—" He paused. "Arden and Jade are engaged, so I just thought—"

"Arden and Jade are _engaged_?" Claire blurted, looking shocked. "Since when?"

Jamie blinked, lifting up one hand and counting down by using his fingers.

When all of his fingers were down, he snapped his fingers, just as there was a shriek of excitement from not very far from them.

Jamie grinned at the timing, and Claire turned, eyes wide with surprise, as Arden was tackled to the ground by Jade, who was screaming, "Yes, yes, yes!" at the top of her lungs.

"Just now." Jamie grinned.

Claire gave him a stupefied look, before narrowing her eyes. "You're plotting something."

His grin widened slightly. "I'm _always_ plotting something, dear Claire."

"But what does Arden and Jade getting engaged have to do—" She stopped, a calculating look on her face, before she turned slightly pink. Jamie's hand went to his pocket, and Claire squeaked.

Mikan partly expected Jamie to do something stupid to ruin this, like pull out silly-string to spray her with, but he pulled out a small box, apparently taking this more seriously than most things.

Using his thumb, he flicked it open, watching Claire closely, holding it out to her. "I want you to marry me, Claire," he murmured.

She seemed stunned into silence, eyes wide, face turning a darker shade every second.

A little ways away, Claire's father was watching with an infuriated look planted on his red-with-rage face. Beside him, Matthew was shuffling nervously.

Jamie started looking a little panicked by Claire's silence, and finally she snapped out of her trance. Pulling one of her infamous scowls, she quickly said, "Really Jamie, that's not very romantic."

Jamie let out a light, strained laugh. "I'll show you romantic later tonight, okay?"

Mikan had to smother a laugh at how perverted that came out, though Jamie and Claire didn't seem to notice the not-so-hidden innuendo.

Claire's father, however, did seem to notice it, and the rage on his face only grew. Matthew looked a mixture of amusement, mortification and still nervousness.

"So?" Jamie asked nervously.

She blinked. "What, you think I'm going to say no?" she asked incredulously.

Jamie's face lit up so much Mikan thought it might break apart.

"You mean you will?"

"Yes," Claire said, a small smile of her own forming. "Of course. But my dad is going to kill you, you know."

Jamie laughed in relief. "That's fine, I'll die happy now!" he exclaimed excitedly, arms winding around Claire's waist tightly, lips crashing against hers.

Mikan took this as her cue to stop watching, but caught one last look at Claire's father, who was stalking over to them, face dark with anger, Matt behind him, cringing slightly.

"Aw, Jamie's so cute when he's nervous," Mikan cooed. Natsume frowned slightly, and with a small smile, Mikan continued. "He was so scared she'd say no. It's better than arrogance, like he knew she'd say yes."

He flashed her an angry look at her jabs, but said nothing.

"Would you stop that?" Ami suddenly snapped.

Mikan blinked, staring at her. "Stop what?"

Ami motioned frantically at Natsume and Mikan, and she realized her arms will still wrapped around his waist. "He asked you to let him go!"

"Oops," she muttered, removing her hands from Natsume. "And he didn't _ask_ by the way. He told."

Ami glared at her. "Well?"

Mikan blinked again, confused. "Well what? I let him go."

"Apologize!"

"Apologize… for hugging him?"

She nodded. "For hugging him in front of his _girlfriend_!"

Oh dear, it seemed she was delusional.

Natsume looked shocked, Hotaru looked amused and Ruka looked slightly embarrassed by his cousin.

Mikan smiled in amusement. "His girlfriend? And who might that be?"

Ami scoffed, "Me, of course."

"You?" Mikan repeated, eyes flickering to Natsume. "Is that true, Natsume?"

He opened his mouth to say no (obviously), but was cut off by Ami. "Of course it is!"

"That's nice," Mikan said, annoyance seeping into her voice. "But I asked Natsume."

Ami scowled at her, turning to Natsume.

Natsume gave her a look of irritation. "You know it's not true."

Ami looked pained.

"And why is it not true?" Mikan continued, leaning towards him slightly.

They glared at each other challengingly, Natsume knowing exactly what he was supposed to say, and Mikan waiting.

He sighed at last. "Because I'm engaged to _you_."

"Damn right you are!" Mikan exclaimed, pressing her lips quickly against his as the families made sounds of shock. "Honestly, Natsume," she sighed. "You couldn't tell your family? Too ashamed of me?"

"I'm not ashamed of you," he sighed.

"Well, I'm ashamed of me, so at least one of us is."

"Mikan…"

"Wait," Natsume's father cut in. "Your name is Mikan Yukihara?"

Mikan nodded slightly, knowing where this was going.

"Then your parents were—"

"Yuka Azumi and Izumi Yukihara," Mikan finished quietly.

He stood in stunned silence for a long time, digesting this. "Your mother… is she—?"

"She's dead," she murmured, staring at the ground, shuffling her feet. "Kuonji killed her."

"Oh," he whispered, sounding stricken. "I'm sorry. She was a wonderful woman."

Mikan nodded. "I know," she said solemnly. "But she's with my dad now, so she's probably happier than she was here."

He nodded slowly. "She was best friend's with Natsume's mother." He smiled. "It must be fate that you two would end up together."

"That's what I think too!" Mikan cried delightedly, hugging Natsume's arm.

Natsume cast her another annoyed look, and looked like he was about to make a comment, but before he could, two voices shouted above the rest of the noise, "Mommy!"

And suddenly Mikan was barreled into the ground. "You two really need to stop doing that," she groaned, blinking at Yuuki and Kaori.

Kaori backed away from her, smiling slightly, but Yuuki made no move to get off her.

"Yuuki, get off me."

"No!"

Natsume was giving her a look that said '_This is what it feels like when someone refuses to let go of you_.'

It was like indirect revenge.

But Natsume grabbed Yuuki, lifting her off of Mikan so she could stand up again.

Yuuki flailed in his arms violently. "Let me go, let me go, let me go!"

Natsume set her down carefully as Mikan dusted off her pants.

"Yuuki, I told you to stop tackling people!" Mikan scolded lightly.

"But I saw you tackle Daddy."

Damn, she had her there.

"Well… that's different. I'm older. Older people get to do what they want."

"I'm older than some people I know. Does that mean I can tackle them?"

"No." She paused, looking for something to distract Yuuki and Kaori. "Oh look, there's Youichi!"

Yuuki looked over at him instantly. "Ooh, let's go say hi, Kaori!"

Before Kaori could get a word in, Yuuki was pulling her away, towards Youichi, and Mikan let out a small sigh of relief, turning her attention back to the others.

She blinked at the looks she was getting from the academy visitors. "What?"

"Mommy and Daddy?" Ami sneered. "Last time we were here, Natsume said you two hadn't slept together."

"I haven't had sex with Natsume," she said simply, prepared for multiple insults before she could explain.

"Then they aren't Natsume's, but yours?" Ami gave her a disgusted look when Mikan nodded silently. "They must be at least five. You were having sex with people when you were thirteen? That's disgusting. Why would Natsume even put up with a slut like you?"

Mikan kept a smile plastered on her face as she waited for Ami to run out of insults, watching as Hotaru and Natsume both started looking murderous.

When Ami finally stopped spitting insults, Mikan finally asked, "Done now?"

Ami glared at her hatefully.

Mikan's hand shot out to grab the front of Ami's shirt, and the fake smile dropped off her face, replaced with a threatening glower. "I don't like people that judge others without knowing their side of the story," she hissed as Ami watched her fearfully. "I was raped when I was eleven," she continued quietly, but loud enough so that the others could hear her. "I don't like when people call me a slut when they don't understand what I went through." She tightened her grip on her shirt, spitting out, "And I _hate_ when people make a move on my fiancé."

With that, she let go of her, turned on her heel, and walked away.

A minute later, not to her surprise, Natsume spun her around. "Are you okay?"

She shrugged. "Annoyed, but that's nothing new."

His lip twitched. "Mikan…"

"I'm fine," she sighed, rolling her eyes with mock exasperation. "Like I said, just annoyed." She sighed again. "I didn't even get a chance to say anything to Aoi!"

He rolled his eyes. "Does it matter?"

"Guess not."

"It's probably better they get a chance to digest all of this."

She nodded her agreement. "Yeah, that was probably a lot to take in at once." She turned and started to walk again, then turned when she realized Natsume was following her. "What? Shouldn't you be with your family?"

He shrugged. "I'd rather be with you."

She ignored how happy that made her. "But you're always with me."

"And?"

She shrugged, starting away again.

"Where are we going?" Natsume asked, keeping pace with her.

She smiled, turning to him quickly and kissing him shortly. "Well, Natsume." She grinned widely. "I was going to go see Uncle because he wanted to start making wedding plans for us." She wrapped her arms around him. "You can come. It is _our_ wedding after all."

* * *

><p><strong>Adelitas Way – Hurt<br>Smile Empty Soul – Stay Alive**

**Guys. It was hard writing about Jamie telling Mikan about Jaylen and things, because I had to follow Jamie's Story, and make sure I got things right. I think I'm writing this backwards – I should really be concentrating on the chapters at hand, not Jamie's Story. I had to keep looking back at it like, 'this is what happened, right?' It should be the other way around! I should write how it goes in here, then be checking this chapter for Jamie's Story! Gah, it was so awkward. **

**Anyway, this chapter concentrated more on Jamie and Mikan's relationship… that will be changing in the next chapter! I predict two more chapters, Jamie's Story Part Two, and I am still debating the two extras.**

**In other news, I have started writing Gorgeous Nightmare, and will soon be starting Accidents Happen. Even though I originally intended to write Wasteland first. Everyone wants Jamikan to happen (Anyone else think of the word Jamaican when they hear Jamikan?)! It's shocking, really. And yet totally understandable. I kept wanting to make them get together in this chapter. *Sigh* It was hard to resist the temptation. Don't get me wrong – I adore Claire and Jamie's relationship. But, you know, Jamie and Mikan have a connection too. *Sigh***

**Anyway, this was supposed to be up like, three days ago but I have a slight addiction to Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword and there was no internet at my house yesterday.**


	32. IMPORTANT AN I'm not just saying that!

**So, fuck.**

**I am probably disappointing you all with this authors note because you are all patiently waiting for the next chapter, but here we go again…**

**First, I am so God damn sorry, you guys don't understand. I seriously love you all so much for being here with me while I was writing this story but I've got myself a problem or two. Or a thousand.**

**Basically, I had a huge meltdown earlier today after my brother yelled at me for no reason.**

**Lately, I've gotten put on new antidepressants because of my 'problems'.**

**My step-dad (who is verbally abusive, and occasionally physically abusive, as some of you may remember me mentioning) is still living with my family, and he won't leave me alone. I don't mean he's yelling at me or anything—he's trying to be friendly so he can worm back into my life. When I'm at my moms house, I always have to put up with him because he works at home. My mom and him are supposed to be separating, but I don't know if that'll happen or not.**

**My biological dad… I'm pretty sure he just doesn't care about me much anymore. He wanted my mom to get an abortion, and he's never really been close to me, but lately it's been getting worse. I pretty much go over to his house, talk to him once, hide in my room (which isn't even 'mine' because all I have in it is a bed. It's my step-moms office in reality) and put up with my fifteen year old step-brother that acts like a spoiled four year old.**

**And I also am seeing a new counselor who I don't really talk to about my problems, because why should I? I don't know her.**

**And a few days ago I went into a place, and got told I should probably get therapy. Yay.**

**I'm also home-schooled, so I can't really talk to friends about problems. I've only got two friends, and I only talk to them occasionally over the internet – never in person anymore.**

**I am ALSO failing my classes because I can't stand to stay in reality. I _can't_. I have to daydream, read, play Animal Crossing/Harvest Moon/Zelda to keep my sanity from slipping.**

**And (I think that's all the former things) about the earlier meltdown:**

**I ended up practically hyperventilating for about half-an-hour, and finally my mom calmed me down after my brother sobbed and apologized and told me he loved me and shit. Anyway, my mom sent my brother away, and kept asking what was wrong, and the only thing I actually managed to blurt out to her (besides the usual 'I want to die' 'I'm not happy' 'kill me' etc.) I told her I've been cutting myself.**

**So, you can probably see where this authors note comes in.**

**I've got some pretty big issues at the moment, and I dunno. I can't write much at a time. My brother is getting ready for his grad as well, so I'm taking over all the chores on top of all of this. **

**Anyway, my mom told me she's going to try and get me more help.**

**I have no goddamn idea what she means by that, but I wanted you guys to know why my updates haven't been coming.**

**I am working on things. The next chapter is almost done; I've started another extra (the one about my OC's besides Jamie); and Jamie's Story.**

**As I don't know what will be happening with me (maybe I'll go to the hospital or crazy farm~) I'm going to post sneak peeks to all three of these things.**

* * *

><p><strong>First, the next chapter:<strong>

"I seriously hate you two."

Jamie grinned widely, unaffected by the words that had once almost sent him to his own death. "You love us."

_Here we go again._

"No. You don't get it. I want to kill you."

Hotaru rolled her eyes, leaning back against the limo seat. "This is tradition, Mikan. You're not supposed to see you're future husband before the wedding."

"The wedding isn't for _two weeks_!"

Jamie laughed lightly.

"I hate you."

"You love us."

"When it comes time for you and Claire's wedding, prepare to be kidnapped."

"Oh, no, you don't want to do that." He smiled innocently. "I would kill you."

She scowled at him murderously. "You're so whipped when it comes to her."

He shrugged, not even bothering to deny it. "I guess I am. I love her."

"If she asked you to get her the moon, you would do it."

"Mhm! She wouldn't ask for the moon though."

"She might ask for a star though," she warned.

Jamie shook his head, smiling. "You don't know Claire like I do."

"That's because you two have known each other longer, love each other, and like to keep secrets from me."

He shrugged once more. "We'll have our secrets, you'll have yours."

She laughed suddenly. "I just remembered!" She laughed harder at his confused expression. "When you proposed to Claire and said '_I'll show you romantic later tonight_'! Did you even realize how that came across?"

He blinked then blushed. "Well—not at the time. Besides, you know we didn't do anything."

"Because Natsume and I argued, and naturally I went to you for comfort. Sorry for interrupting you and Claire's _romance_." She grinned. Jamie and Claire's 'romantic night' had actually been them with snacks, watching the Lion King movies. It had been interesting to walk in on. Claire herself had looked quite amused by the whole thing.

"Nothing says romance like Disney movies!" Jamie said pleasantly.

Mikan sighed, looking out the limo window moodily. "Oh my gosh, pull over!" she shrieked suddenly.

A moment later, they were at the side of the road.

Hotaru glared at her. "Why did we pull over?"

Jamie peered out the window and paled. "Oh no. No, no, no no no."

"We had a deal, Jamie," Mikan said, grinning evilly.

"We were twelve! I'm not doing it. We're leaving." He looked around nervously.

"I told you I was holding you to this deal." She smiled deviously. "You have a choice now, Jamie. Let me see Natsume, or else."

He looked at Hotaru desperately. "Okay, let them see each other, I don't care, anything but this!"

Hotaru stared at them impatiently.

"When we were twelve," Mikan started, "We made a deal. If I got a dragon tattoo, Jamie would get snakebites and a tattoo when he was eighteen."

Hotaru turned to Jamie. "_You're_ the reason Mikan has a tattoo?"

He fidgeted. "It's an alice tattoo. The dragon is somewhat alive. It can move, feel, et cetera. Mikan was cutting herself, and this is how I made her stop… she loves dragons…"

Mikan pulled up her sleeve, and the dragon tattoo, which usually lay still, wound around her arm as a demonstration. "I told Jamie I would get it, but he had to get something too. He said he would when he was eighteen. And would you look at that"-she turned and smiled at Jamie again-"he's eighteen!"

Hotaru glared at him. "Well get on with it then."

He stared at them with wide-eyes. "You… you guys are making me do this?"

Mikan pointed at the tattoo parlor. "Don't come out until you have what you need."

"Please don't do this. Claire will never talk to me again!"

"Pish-posh," she waved off. "You'll look damn sexy. Now go!"

He stared at her helplessly, but when she didn't change her mind, he scowled, hopping out of the limo. "I hate you both."

She grinned. "You love us!"

The limo door slammed in her face.

* * *

><p><strong>Second, the new extra – The Problems (You'll only get to see a bit of Arden's POV)<strong>

"Drums are awesome," five-year-old Arden Taylor said.

His older brother, Bert, cracked up laughing.

Bert hated his name, so Arden tended to mock it. Bert _was_ an odd name. For some reason Bert found it embarrassing. So he liked to say it a lot.

_Bert._

"Will you teach me, _Bert_?" Arden asked for probably the fifth millionth time.

Bert shook his head, grinning. "Haven't I taught you enough?"

Arden picked up one of his brothers drumsticks and weaved it through his fingers, spinning it quickly, skillfully. "This isn't _playing_ the drums. It's playing with a stick."

"I'll teach you when you're older," Bert excused, nabbing the drumstick from him.

Arden fell back onto his brother's bed. "I'm bored."

"And?"

"Entertain me, _Bert_."

Bert turned and raised an eyebrow at him. "You're a demanding little man, you know that, right?"

Arden beamed at him.

"…That's a yes," Bert sighed, smiling slightly. "Well, what do you want to do?"

Arden shrugged.

"Well, why don't you work on that thing you were tinkering with earlier?"

"Don't wanna." Inventing weird things was only fun for about an hour a day. Then it got boring, and when it got boring, then it was time to bother Bert. This was part of his schedule, and he was sticking to it.

Bert stared at him.

"Park?" he asked, flashing the puppy-dog eyes innocently.

Bert continued to stare at him.

Arden stared back.

Bert sighed.

_Ladies and gentleman, we have a winner!_ Arden thought triumphantly.

"Alright then, let's go," Bert muttered, grabbing a hoodie.

Arden let out an undignified squeal of delight, leaping to his feet excitedly. He raced past his brother, grabbing the drumsticks on his way out of the room.

"Why are you bringing my drumsticks?" Bert asked from behind him.

Arden pulled on his shoes, turning to face him. "Because they need fresh air, too," he said matter-of-factly.

Bert stared at him.

He stared back.

Then a smile spread across Bert's face, and he shook his head in amusement. "Okay, fair enough."

* * *

><p><strong>And Jamie's Story: Part Two: Coward. This was just a scene I picked randomly.<strong>

"You two know each other?" Jamie's new homeroom-slash-music-slash-Japanese teacher, Ms. Utau (or, since she was Japanese, Utau-sensei) asked, raising an eyebrow, glancing between Arden and Jamie. When Arden nodded, she beamed. "Great! You can be Jamie's partner then, Arden."

Arden made a bowing motion. "I'll take good care of him."

"I don't need taking care of," Jamie growled.

Arden just smiled goofily. "Course not. Let me show you around."

Jamie scowled. "No. And I'm not going anywhere without Jade."

"She can come," Arden added. "The more the merrier! We can bring Fairy, too."

"Why do you call her fairy?"

He shrugged. "Cause it sounds like Clary, which sounds like Claire. And it annoys her. Have I mentioned I like to annoy people?"

"I gathered as much."

He nodded with a mock-serious expression. "You catch on quick."

"Not really," Jamie replied. "It's obvious."

"Really? Huh. Well, let's go." Without waiting for a reply, he grabbed Jamie's arm and yanked him over to Claire. "We – yes, we mean's you as well, Fairy – are going to show the new students around!"

Claire eyed them sourly. "I don't think so."

"Aw, c'mon!" Arden instantly whined. "You two will get along great! You're both sourpusses… and Jamie likes blondes!"

Claire glared at Jamie.

"I never said anything about blondes," Jamie snapped irritably. "Stop spreading rumors, you idiot."

"So you _don't_ like blondes?" Arden asked.

Claire continued to glare.

"I don't _care,_" Jamie snapped. "It's a hair color. There's more important things in life than what girls look like."

Arden stared at him. "What kind of guy _are_ you? Have you hit puberty? Are you gay?"

"No, I am not gay!" Jamie spat. "I'm straight. And I prefer who a person _is_ over what they _look_ like. I don't plan on dating, anyway. All I care about is getting out of here with Jade."

"Ah, you're playing hard to get…" Arden mused.

Jamie sighed. "I'm not playing hard to get. I just don't care. The only girl in my life is going to be Jade."

"Sister complex," Arden said in a singsong-y voice.

He sighed again. "Just let go of me. I don't want you to show me around, I don't want to date anyone, and I _don't_ want friends. Let me _go_."

Arden blinked twice, looking morbidly shocked, letting go of Jamie's arm. "Why wouldn't you want friends? That's all you'll have at this school. There's no family, unless you're lucky enough to have a sibling with an alice – as it seems you have."

"I don't _need_ anyone in my family except my sister. I've never needed any of them, and I've never needed friends. Why should I need them now? I'm not going to change. I'm better off being alone." Somehow he had managed to quote Egypt Central again.

He didn't wait for a reply, just turned and walked out of the room, putting the headphones back over his ears.

He headed straight for the door, kicking it open angrily and stalking outside, scowling at the sunlight.

He started in a random direction when the headphones were pulled off of his head.

He turned, more than ready to lash out at Arden, but blinked when he saw Claire. "Can't you people take a hint? I _don't _want to talk to you."

"I just wanted to know what you meant back in the classroom," she said simply.

He scowled. "I meant that I don't want, nor do I need anybody."

She snorted. "I know that. What's the hidden meaning?"

His scowl deepened. "There isn't one. I need no one. It's that simple."

She stared at him silently for a long moment, before saying, "You made Arden sad. Maybe _you're_ not friends with him, but _I_ am. I don't like it when Arden's sad."

"Then go crawling back to comfort him," he sneered.

Her eyes flashed angrily. "When Arden was younger, his older brother died. You're not the only one with problems."

"My older brother died when I was young, too. Care to try again?"

"It was Arden's fault."

"It was my fault that my older brother died." Which wasn't a lie – if Jamie had spoken up, Jared would still be with him and their father wouldn't have done all those things. "Give up. That's not even the reason I'm like this. You wouldn't understand."

She was silent again, and he reached for his headphones, but she pulled them away from his outstretched hand. "My mother abused me."

He hoped she was disappointed that he didn't react. "And my father abused me. Give me my headphones and let me leave. I'm usually not low enough to hit a girl, but if you don't piss off, I will hit you."

She smirked, eyes flickering with pain, handing him the headphones. "You're abused and I'm abused, yet you're threatening to hit me." She turned and started away, tossing over her shoulder, "I guess we know what kind of person _you_ are."

* * *

><p><strong>Okay, so I know this isn't much and it doesn't make up for my absence, but I'm sorry.<strong>

**I can't do much more than this.**

**I'll try my best to get actual things up, but I just don't know anymore. It'll be lucky if I manage to live through the night without trying to kill myself.**

**But I hope you enjoy anyway. **

**Now, if you don't mind, my mom needs to talk to me….**


	33. Down in Flames

"I seriously hate you two."

Jamie grinned widely, unaffected by the words that had once almost sent him to his own death. "You love us."

_Here we go again._

"No. You don't get it. I want to kill you."

Hotaru rolled her eyes, leaning back against the limo seat. "This is tradition, Mikan. You're not supposed to see you're future husband before the wedding."

"The wedding isn't for _two weeks_!"

Jamie laughed lightly.

"I hate you."

"You love us."

"When it comes time for you and Claire's wedding, prepare to be kidnapped."

"Oh, no, you don't want to do that." He smiled innocently. "I would kill you."

She scowled at him murderously. "You're so whipped when it comes to her."

He shrugged, not even bothering to deny it. "I guess I am. I love her."

"If she asked you to get her the moon, you would do it."

"Mhm! She wouldn't ask for the moon though."

"She might ask for a star though," she warned.

Jamie shook his head, smiling. "You don't know Claire like I do."

"That's because you two have known each other longer, love each other, and like to keep secrets from me."

He shrugged once more. "We'll have our secrets, you'll have yours."

She laughed suddenly. "I just remembered!" She laughed harder at his confused expression. "When you proposed to Claire and said '_I'll show you romantic later tonight_'! Did you even realize how that came across?"

He blinked then blushed. "Well—not at the time. Besides, you know we didn't do anything."

"Because Natsume and I argued, and naturally I went to you for comfort. Sorry for interrupting you and Claire's _romance_." She grinned. Jamie and Claire's 'romantic night' had actually been them with snacks, watching the Lion King movies. It had been interesting to walk in on. Claire herself had looked quite amused by the whole thing.

"Nothing says romance like Disney movies!" Jamie said pleasantly.

Mikan sighed, looking out the limo window moodily. "Oh my gosh, pull over!" she shrieked suddenly.

A moment later, they were at the side of the road.

Hotaru glared at her. "Why did we pull over?"

Jamie peered out the window and paled. "Oh no. No, no, no no no."

"We had a deal, Jamie," Mikan said, grinning evilly.

"We were twelve! I'm not doing it. We're leaving." He looked around nervously.

"I told you I was holding you to this deal." She smiled deviously. "You have a choice now, Jamie. Let me see Natsume, or else."

He looked at Hotaru desperately. "Okay, let them see each other, I don't care, anything but this!"

Hotaru stared at them impatiently.

"When we were twelve," Mikan started, "We made a deal. If I got a dragon tattoo, Jamie would get snakebites and a tattoo when he was eighteen."

Hotaru turned to Jamie. "_You're_ the reason Mikan has a tattoo?"

He fidgeted. "It's an alice tattoo. The dragon is somewhat alive. It can move, feel, et cetera. Mikan was cutting herself, and this is how I made her stop… she loves dragons…"

Mikan pulled up her sleeve, and the dragon tattoo, which usually lay still, wound around her arm as a demonstration. "I told Jamie I would get it, but he had to get something too. He said he would when he was eighteen. And would you look at that"-she turned and smiled at Jamie again-"he's eighteen!"

Hotaru glared at him. "Well get on with it then."

He stared at them with wide-eyes. "You… you guys are making me do this?"

Mikan pointed at the tattoo parlor. "Don't come out until you have what you need."

"Please don't do this. Claire will never talk to me again!"

"Pish-posh," she waved off. "You'll look damn sexy. Now go!"

He stared at her helplessly, but when she didn't change her mind, he scowled, hopping out of the limo. "I hate you both."

She grinned. "You love us!"

The limo door slammed in her face.

* * *

><p>"Everything hurts," Jamie whined, falling back into the limo dramatically.<p>

"Oh shut up," Mikan replied, rolling her eyes. "Compared to my tattoo, yours is probably small."

"I didn't think it would hurt that much…"

"Well, you thought wrong. Hurts like a bitch, doesn't it?"

"Kill me."

She smirked. "I'll leave that to Claire."

He let out a cry of protest and she laughed. "This isn't fair. It isn't!"

"It's completely fair. What's your tattoo?"

He lifted up his shirt, turning around. On the left of his lower back, a phoenix tattoo sat. "A phoenix. It's _my_ favorite mythical creature."

She was tempted to reach forward and poke it, just to see if he'd scream in pain, but then decided against it. "Hmm. Well, I was right. You look sexy with your new snakebites."

"Claire will never speak to me ever again."

"If she has any taste, she will love your new look."

"She loved my old look, you cow."

She laughed. "Alright. Anyway, I think I can live without seeing Natsume now. Where am I staying?"

"You'll be staying with him"-Hotaru pointed at Jamie-"and his fiancée for a day or two, then at my house for the rest of the time."

"Ooh, so I get to see Claire's reaction to Jamie's face?" She bounced in her seat excitedly.

"You hate me, don't you?" Jamie mumbled, glaring out the window.

She smiled. "Revenge is sweet, is it not?"

"Fuck you."

She leaned back in the limo seat, shaking her head in amusement. "You can take the snakebites out and let the wound heal over if you really want."

"I don't wanna touch it," he muttered, scowling.

She laughed. "You're a wuss. It won't hurt that bad!" She laughed manically. "Probably."

He stared at her.

"I'm just kidding. I think."

"Stop talking," he finally said.

She remained silent until they were a block away from Jamie's house. "Where's Natsume staying?"

"We can't tell you that – you'll look for him," Hotaru answered simply.

Mikan narrowed her eyes. "This isn't fair."

"Welcome to my world," Jamie muttered.

Her lip twitched in amusement, but she stopped herself from smiling, trying to remain annoyed at Hotaru. "You can't make me not see him for two weeks."

"We can and we will."

She gritted her teeth. "We'll see about that."

As they pulled to the side of the road, next to Jamie and Claire's new house, she peered through the window, looking down the street. "The house Uncle bought me and Natsume is down there, right? Can we go see it? I haven't been allowed to yet."

"No," Hotaru deadpanned.

"…Natsume's staying there, isn't he?" Mikan asked dryly.

Hotaru and Jamie shared a significant look.

"You sons of bitches."

"…You love us." Without another word, he hopped out of the limo, Mikan following after him a second later, sighing.

Without waiting for her, Jamie went up to the front door, throwing it open, then gesturing her in, and glancing by the door nervously. "Ah-ha!" he declared triumphantly. "Claire's shoes aren't here." He smiled.

She rolled her eyes, strolling past him and stepping into his living room, falling onto the couch with a noisy sigh.

He sat on her legs, ignoring her sound of protest. "Honestly, I can't believe I actually did that," he grumbled.

"You look good," she reassured, smiling. "I'd date you if we weren't already both with people we loved."

"Um, yeah," he said quietly, staring blankly across the room.

"Is something wrong?" she questioned.

He sent her a rather forced looking smile. "No, everything's fine."

She stared at him curiously. "O-kay." He was obviously hiding something, but it would come out eventually. She looked towards the front door as it opened, and Claire stepped in. "Hey, Claire," she greeted with a smile. "Doesn't Jamie look good?"

Claire blinked, glancing over at them. She stared at Jamie for a prolonged moment, before sighing, shaking her head and walking into a different room. Mikan frowned. "That was boring."

She looked over at Jamie again, frown deepening as she noticed that he was staring miserably at the floor. "Did you and Claire fight?"

He hesitated before shaking his head. "No, not really." When she glared at him, he sighed. "We didn't, really. Just… disagreed on something, I guess."

"She wasn't surprised about the snakebites…?"

"I called her." He paused, giving her a pointed look. "You don't think I was stupid enough to just suddenly come here with a tattoo and snakebites, do you?"

She shrugged. "Well, what was your disagreement?"

He hesitated again. "Her father just…" He sighed. "He said something, and it hit a nerve really hard. Claire's confused right now."

"Are you two still together?" she asked worriedly.

He looked stricken for a moment, and she thought she saw tears in his eyes, but he blinked and they were gone. He turned to look at the wall again. "She gave the ring back," he admitted quietly.

Her eyes widened. "She did _what_?" She scowled darkly. "That bitch! Want me to beat her up?"

He narrowed his eyes at her dangerously. "_Don't_ call Claire a bitch. And no."

She leaned back against the couch, scowling. "Just say the word and she's dead. _No one_ hurts you—except me, of course." She huffed, then sat up, wrapping her arms around him. "Want me to help you find a rebound girl?"

She received another glare. "We haven't broken up, Mikan. We're just having some issues. They'll be sorted."

"You could make her jealous," Mikan suggested thoughtfully.

"This isn't the support I was looking for." He sighed. "I don't want to do anything to make things worse. Claire needs to sort out her thoughts, and I'll let her."

"What if she decides she doesn't want to be with you?" she said quietly.

Fear flashed across his eyes. "Then she doesn't have to be with me."

"And you're _okay_ with that?"

His eyes flashed. "No, but it's not my choice. I'm not going to force Claire into anything – not that I could anyway."

"So you're just going to wait?"

He leaned back against the armrest. "I'm just going to wait."

* * *

><p>"Wake up."<p>

A pillow smacked into the side of her face, and she opened her eyes to glare at Jamie.

He smiled with mock pleasantness. "Hotaru's here to bring you to her house."

She scowled at him.

"I'm going with you," he added, and she gazed at him questioningly. "To baby-sit you." He stuck his tongue out at her.

She stretched, not mentioning that he was probably just going with her to get away from Claire. "Okay, okay, I'm comin'," she mumbled, swinging herself off his couch and yawning. She frowned at him as she noticed his face was red and he was sweating slightly, despite the cool air in the house, then put her hand on his forehead. "You're hot."

He smirked. "You're not too bad yourself, sweetheart."

"Ha-ha," she snapped sarcastically. "You're burning up, Jamie. You're sick."

He shrugged, unbothered.

"Should I tell Claire?"

He shook his head.

"Maybe you should stay here…"

"I'll be fine," he waved off. Before she could argue again, he grabbed her hand, dragging her toward the door, calling over his shoulder, "I'm going out." He didn't wait for a reply, shutting the door loudly and dragging her down towards Hotaru's limo.

"Why do I have to change houses?" she complained quietly, buckling herself into the limo and glancing distastefully at Hotaru.

"This house is to close to where Hyuuga is staying," Hotaru explained simply and Mikan scowled. Hotaru looked at Jamie. "You look disgusting."

"Thanks," Jamie sniffed.

"Are you sure you don't want to stay here?" Mikan asked again.

"I have to baby-sit you while Hotaru goes out with Ruka."

She scowled. "Then why don't I just stay here?"

"Hyuuga's to close," Hotaru reminded.

She sighed, falling dramatically against the limo seat as it started away. "I want to see Natsume. You guys are kidnapping me, and I do not appreciate it."

Hotaru stared silently out the limo window until they turned the corner to her mansion. "It's good that you two won't see each other for awhile," she said as the limo stopped.

Mikan frowned.

"You'll be happy to see each other," Hotaru said slowly, getting out of the limo. "You'll let your emotions take over."

Mikan followed Hotaru and Jamie, blinking when she realized what Hotaru was getting at. "You… you're _encouraging_ Natsume and me to have sex?" she blurted in horror.

Hotaru shrugged.

"Why?" she demanded in embarrassment.

"Because Hyuuga will run out of patience eventually."

Mikan blinked. "Huh?"

Hotaru sighed. "You and him haven't done anything beyond kissing – eventually he's going to run out of patience with that. He does have needs, Mikan. He just doesn't want to hurt or scare you."

She flushed. "W-well, he hasn't even tried anything."

"Because he doesn't want to hurt you," Hotaru said again.

"W-well," she stuttered, walking into Hotaru's house. "So what? It's not like all of our friends have already had sex…"

"Oh really?" Hotaru asked, raising her eyebrow.

She widened her eyes. "You and Ruka have…?" Hotaru didn't reply and she made a noise of shock. "Well, maybe not you two, but what about Mitsuki and Damien?" She paused as she realized the ridiculousness of that. Damien would always be Damien, after all. "Well, not them either. But Arden and Jade—" _would probably have already done it too._ She turned helplessly to Jamie as Hotaru gave her a pointed look. "Jamie, help me here?"

He turned to her, blinking. "Hm?" He hadn't been paying attention.

"You and Claire haven't had sex, right?"

He blinked twice before turning bright red. "W-what?" he sputtered.

"_Jamie!_" she wailed.

"I didn't answer!" he cried in protest at her accusing tone.

"Your face said enough!"

He crossed his arms, eyes narrowed. "We haven't," he answered, frowning. "And why should it matter if we have?"

She turned to Hotaru triumphantly. "Ha!"

Hotaru rolled his eyes. "Yes, but he has no backbone, so of course they haven't done anything."

"Hey!" Jamie protested before sneezing.

Mikan shoved him away from her. "Don't come near me if you're sick."

He leaned towards her and coughed in her face.

She shoved him again, squawking in protest when he coughed on her again, then laughed. "Keep your germs away from me!" she snapped, bolting across the room.

He chased after her, shouting, "Germs, _germs_, GERMS!"

She thought she heard Hotaru say something about morons before she walked back out, adding in a louder voice, "I'm going out with Ruka now."

The door slammed as Mikan jumped away from Jamie again. "Stop it, you ass!"

"My germs love you!" He grinned widely, lunging at her again, and she dodged, running into a random room and locking the door behind her.

Jamie let out a whine on the other side of it, and she looked down to see his fingers reaching under it.

She kicked them and they retracted.

After a few minutes of silence, she leaned down and looked under the door.

Only to have Jamie cough in her face from under the door.

She lurched backward, letting out a frustrated cry. "You're so gross!"

He laughed loudly and after a moment she heard his footsteps leading away, and she cautiously opened the door, then shut it again for safety.

She turned and looked around the room in boredom. It seemed to be a guest room; there was only a bed and a desk. She sighed and walked over to the bed, falling over on it and rolling into the covers tiredly.

Stupid Jamie, waking her up.

It was far too early to be awake.

Curiously, she glanced around for a clock, and when her eyes landed on it, she blinked. It was one p.m.

…Yup, far too early.

She buried her face in the pillow and fell back asleep.

* * *

><p>She opened her eyes and glanced at the clock.<p>

Three p.m.

_Much better_, she thought, getting to her feet.

Jamie probably wouldn't be waiting outside to cough in her face.

Probably.

She opened the door, peering out in a ninja-like manner, before walking out normally and glancing around for Jamie, wondering if she could make an escape to find Natsume now.

Her eyes landed on a lump on the couch, and she padded over to it, smiling at Jamie's unconscious figure.

_Score._

She could easily leave if Jamie was asleep.

Her maniacal grin faltered when she got a better look at him.

_Shit._

He was shuddering, his face was red again, and he was sweating badly.

Curse him for being ill when she was trying to escape.

She sighed, stalking over to stand in front of him, leaning over him and worriedly placed her hand on his forehead.

She cringed, having no idea how to take care of a sick person. Sure, Yuuki had occasionally gotten sick, but she had never had a fever this high.

Biting her lip, she reached into Jamie's pocket, pulling out his cellphone and flipping it open. _Claire, Claire, Claire_… she thought, scrolling through his contacts. There was her, Jade, 911, and finally Claire. She clicked the call button and put the phone to her ear quickly, glancing down at Jamie again.

"_What do you need now, Jamie?_" Claire's voice answered moodily. "_Did you decide to get even more piercings?_"

Mikan cringed slightly. "Um, sorry, Claire. It's me, Mikan. Uh…"

"_Why do you have Jamie's phone?_" Claire's voice held a note of suspicion.

"Um, Jamie's really sick," she murmured. "He's got a really bad fever. Can you come over to Hotaru's house?"

There was a moment of debating silence.

"He's asking for you in his sleep," she added after a moment.

Jamie had mouthed Claire's name about four times now. It was either adorable or pitiful.

There was a resigned sigh. "_Yeah, I'll be down in a minute._"

Before Mikan could express her gratitude—relief, rather—Claire hung up.

She shut the phone and shoved it back into Jamie's pocket, then shook him to wake him up.

He opened his eyes slowly, grimacing. "What?" he rasped, not even making the effort to cough in her face. She wasn't sure if that was good or bad.

"You're sick," she told him simply.

He groaned, swatting her away. "I _know_ that. Go away."

"No, Jamie," she snapped, pulling him to his feet. "You're _really_ sick. I'm taking you to an actual bed."

"No, go away," he mumbled, trying to sit back down.

She tugged him towards the room she had left. "Nuh-uh. You can get comfy on a bed."

He grumbled some insults at her, but allowed himself to be dragged to the room, where he flopped ungracefully onto the bed Mikan had been sleeping in only a few minutes earlier.

"Do you need anything?" she fretted. "Water, Tylenol, gravol…?"

"Death."

"Hotaru's all out."

He coughed, sitting up on the bed and looking around blearily. "Whoa, wasn't I on a couch?"

She blinked. "No, I brought you to a bed. Are you sure you're okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"…Because you're sick."

"I am?"

"I'll go get you some medicine." She turned on her heel, tossing over her shoulder, "Stay here." When she was sure Jamie couldn't see her, she let out a deep sigh, hurrying around Hotaru's house in attempt to find medicine. When she couldn't find any, and she was pretty sure she was lost in Hotaru's mansion, she scowled, pressing her hands against her mouth and letting out an irritated, muffled scream.

Then she screamed in fear when the doorbell rang, and it wasn't muffled, so it echoed through the hallways.

Realizing Claire had probably just arrived, she sighed at her stupidity, calling out, "Coming!" and hoping she heard.

She perked up in relief when she found the room Jamie was in again. She would more than likely be able to find her way to the door from here. She cautiously approached Jamie, then screamed in a probably obnoxiously loud voice, "What the hell?"

One minute Jamie was sweating and practically dying of heat, and then the next he was freezing, his lips were blue, and he was shivering.

With an annoyed sound, she bolted to the door, ripping it open and practically throwing herself at Claire, who stumbled slightly at her weight. "I don't know what to do!" she wailed, yanking Claire into the house. "When I called you he was burning hot, and then I went to look for medicine and when I came back to him he was freezing!" she explained in one long breath. She shoved Claire into the guest room, following her in with rushed steps.

Claire approached the bed, looking a lot more calm than Mikan felt, staring at Jamie thoughtfully. After a few moments of contemplating silence, Claire cleared her throat. "I think he probably tried to cool himself down using his ice alice. Because he's sick, he's probably not even noticing how cold his body is." She leaned over him slightly. "He froze himself to cool down, then fell asleep." She shook her head exasperatedly, then turned to Mikan. "Go grab blankets and hot water bottles—and medicine. I'll go start boiling water." She walked out, leaving Mikan to stare stupidly after her. How did Claire even know where she was going? Mikan would get lost in seconds, but knowing Claire, she'd simply turn the right ways and find herself in the kitchen.

With a sniff, she walked out too, glancing around the long hallways before finally turning in a random direction and hoping for the best.

* * *

><p>"When Jamie wakes up, he's going to kill us."<p>

"You're the one that drew on his face, Mikan."

Mikan leaned over Jamie, examining her work.

After finding a closet full of extra blankets and pillows, loading herself up with about six quilts, getting lost in the hallway, finding medicine in the process, she had finally managed to dump the covers on Jamie.

And then she saw a felt-pen and the rest is history.

Claire shifted one of the covers on him, fidgeting. "You've gotten better at drawing mustaches."

"It's a talent."

Claire smiled, shaking her head in amusement.

"Well, as much as staring at Jamie's unconscious, drawed on body is entertaining, let's leave for awhile and hope he gets better."

Claire spared Jamie another glance, then shrugged, following Mikan out of the room.

"So," Mikan started awkwardly, falling on the couch that was in Hotaru's gigantic living room. "What's going on with you and Jamie?"

Claire sat in an armchair across from the couch. "What do you mean?" she asked defensively.

Mikan shrugged. "Well, Jamie's been acting all mopey and sad and irritable. So naturally something happened between you two." Claire remained silent. "He said you gave him the ring back to him."

Claire winced. "Yes… I did."

"But why? He only told me that you gave the ring back because of something your dad did."

Claire picked at a loose thread on her shirt, and Mikan couldn't recall ever seeing Claire look so unsure. "I'm not sure if Jamie loves me," she admitted after a moment, biting the inside of her mouth. "I…I'm not sure if I love him."

Mikan stared at her for a moment before doing the only thing she could think of: slapping Claire.

Claire stared at her incredulously, mouth gaping open and hand resting on her cheek.

"How could you think for even a second that Jamie doesn't love you?" She cried furiously. "How, Claire? All he does is prove how much he does—even blind people could see it!"

"You didn't have to hit me," Claire murmured.

Mikan breathed deeply, scowling. "Sorry. But I really don't understand. What could your father have said that was so bad?"

Claire went back to picking at her shirt, and Mikan was just about to ask again when she finally answered. "He said that boys weren't capable of love," she said quietly, taking a shuddering breath. "He said that he never even loved my mom." Mikan went silent and Claire looked up at her with teary eyes briefly. "Did you know," she started, voice cracking, "that Matt and me had different mothers? My father went and had an affair with another woman." She wiped frantically at her eyes. "She _died_ giving birth to me. She _died_ because of a man that never even actually cared for her."

Mikan stared at her lap awkwardly. "Jamie isn't like that, Claire. You know he's not. You know _him_."

"I know," she rasped. "But every time I think of telling him that, I wonder if he _is_. I _know_ it's ridiculous. But I'm _scared_."

Mikan bit her lip hard. Claire and her hadn't ever been the closest of friends, and she wasn't really sure how she was supposed to react to this side of her. Was this what Jamie meant when he said that she didn't know Claire like he did? "You don't have to be scared, Claire," she whispered. "Jamie _seriously_ loves you. Bloody hell, he was even asking for you in his sleep! And if you say that you don't love Jamie, I won't believe you."

Claire looked at her lap. "I do love Jamie," she murmured. "Of course I do. How could someone _not_ love Jamie?"

"Yeah, it's impossible. Jamie's so perfect, it's ridiculous."

Claire nodded, looking miserable. "I don't get it. Jamie could have any girl he wanted—hell, he could have any _guy_ he wanted—why would he want _me_?"

Mikan shrugged. "I don't know. Why don't you ask him when he wakes up?"

Claire blinked thrice, then a look of concern dawned on her face. "We probably shouldn't have left him alone in the room. He could end up doing something stupid." Without waiting for a reply, she got up and was turning back into the hall that led to the room Jamie was in, Mikan staring after her.

* * *

><p>"Hotaru, did I mention that I'll <em>pay<em> you to let me see Natsume?"

"Yes. But it's still a no."

"Please?"

"No."

"Have I mentioned I love you?"

"Yes."

"And?"

"No."

…

…

…

"Have I mentioned I'll pay you?"

"Mikan, it's only been three days."

…

…

…

"Hey, Jamie have I—?"

"No."

* * *

><p>"Why don't you just kill me?" Mikan moaned, burrowing deeper into the couch.<p>

Jamie shook his head, looking amused. "Mikan, it's only been a week since the last time you saw Natsume. It can't possibly be that bad."

She clawed at him. "I hate you. I save you and Claire's relationship, I heal your illness, and this is how you repay me?"

"Claire didn't need you to slap her; she would've figured her feelings out in time. I ordered pizza."

"I'm not hungry. Let me starve."

"If you're not hungry, then you aren't starving," Jamie replied patiently.

She slapped his arm.

There was a knock at the door and Jamie perked up. "That's probably it."

Mikan ignored him as he went to the door, sliding down between the couch and its cushions, sniffing pathetically.

"Mikan, pizza," Jamie whispered.

She smelled no pizza, and she didn't move.

"Get up you dipshit, Natsume's here."

She jolted out of the cushions, eyes wide.

Indeed, Natsume was standing in the entrance of the room, eyes wide, Claire beside him.

Mikan turned to Jamie suspiciously. "But what about Hotaru?"

"She's not here. Can't you just accept my acts of kindness?"

She walked across the room slowly, and then when she was standing in front of him, poked Natsume unsurely.

When her hand didn't go through him, she threw herself at him, squealing. "Natsume! You're actually here!"

His arms wound around her, so tight it was hard to breathe, but she wasn't going to complain—she didn't think she was capable of making any sort of sounds except small, delighted squeaks anyway.

"You two only get twenty minutes," Jamie said, suddenly sounding miles away. "Me and Claire will go elsewhere to let you have your 'time'. Don't do anything gross."

Part of her wanted to spit an insult at him, but she seemed frozen, arms locked around Natsume's neck, probably strangling him.

But he wasn't trying to move away from her, so she wasn't going to change this at all.

"I missed you," she finally managed to choke out. "Oh God, I missed you."

"It's only been a week," he said quietly, but Mikan wasn't stupid. He had obviously missed her too, or he would have let go of her already.

As if reading her mind, he let go of her waist hesitantly, but she kept her arms around his neck, not ready to let go.

"Can't you just admit you missed me too?" she growled, feeling slightly irritated through her uncontrollable happiness. She tightened her grip threateningly.

"You're kind of strangling me…" Natsume said, a twinge of fear making it's way into his voice.

"I know!" she said cheerily, tightening her grip more.

"Alright, I missed you too," he sputtered after a moment.

"Aw, I know you did!" She grinned widely, and let go of him.

He scowled at her rubbing the back of his neck pointedly. "It wasn't necessary that you _strangle_ me, Polka."

"Don't make me do it again, fire-caster," she warned.

He raised an eyebrow. "Fire-caster?"

"I have to come up with a nickname for you since you call me 'Polka' all the time." She smiled sweetly. "Or would you prefer _honey_?"

He scowled at her darkly. "No."

"Sweetie?"

"Mikan…"

"Baby?"

"How the hell did I miss someone as annoying as _you_?"

"Alright, how about perverted fox?"

He sighed.

"Honeymuffins."

He stared at her blankly.

"Love-of-my-life. Dear. Dearie. Lovely. Babe. Kuro neko. Meowingtons. Oh, the possibilities!" She grinned widely at the annoyed expression on his face.

"Maybe I'll just go and ask to be taken back," Natsume said dryly, moving towards the door threateningly.

"Nooo!" she whined, attacking him in another bone-crushing hug. "You just got here, and I missed you so much I wanted to die!"

"Don't say that," Natsume snapped vehemently, winding his arms around her again.

She sniffed. "But I did. I missed you so much it _hurt_—physically, mentally, emotionally, et cetera." She wiped her dripping nose on his shoulder, and he shoved her away. "What? My snot won't harm you."

"GERMS!" Jamie yelled from the other room.

"Stop eavesdropping, you ass-noggin!" Mikan shouted in reply.

She heard a giggle and Jamie repeating "Ass-noggin" to himself.

Sniffing indignantly, she turned her attention back to Natsume, who was holding her about a foot away from him for safety purposes. "Natsume," she whined, attempting to move closer to him. "Let me love you!"

He rolled his eyes. "There's a distinct difference between love and boogers."

The fact that Natsume had just said the word 'boogers' sent her into a fit of laughter.

"Alright, lovebirds," Jamie said loudly, walking into the room. "I just got a message from Hotaru, and she's on her way here, so Natsume has to go now."

Mikan hissed at him, leeching onto Natsume.

"Mikan, calm the fuck down and let go of Natsume. Only one more week, right? Then you can see him at your wedding."

She let out a high-pitched wail and Jamie cringed. "No, no, no, no, nooooooooo!" she screamed in Jamie's general direction. "I'm going too! You aren't separating us again, you buttmuncher!"

Jamie rolled his eyes, sighing. "Mikan, force will be used if you do not cooperate."

"I'd like to see you _try_ and get me away from Natsume," she snarled.

Jamie sighed again. "Claire, if you will."

Before Mikan could quite register what was going to happen, she was lifted into the air, her arms falling away from Natsume, and she was sent across the room.

_Levitation alice_. She mentally cursed Claire.

She shrieked in fury as Jamie sat down on her. "No no no no no! Let me up, up, up!"

She continued to screech as Claire led Natsume—who was much more obedient to the rules than her—out the door again. "Screw you!" she cried at Jamie as she heard an engine start. "That so isn't fair! You meanie! Meanie meanie meanie face!"

Jamie got off of her. "You didn't even think of using one of your alices to prevent that?"

She stared at him blankly.

"Idiot," Jamie muttered, shaking his head.

She slumped back onto the couch, curling back into the pillows.

"Now, now, don't do that," Jamie said, grabbing her wrist and pulling her out.

She pulled away. "Screw you."

"Maybe later." He winked then serioused. "Anyway, I know what will cheer you up."

"Death. Natsume. Slapping you."

"Ha, no."

She rolled back into the cushions.

"I downloaded all the _Avatar: The Last Airbender_ and _Legend of Korra_ episodes. Marathon time."

She bolted out of the couch, alert. "All of them? Both of them? Marathon?"

"Yes, those are some of the words I said."

"Where?"

He reached under the couch, pulling out his laptop and waving it at her. "Right here."

"Gimme."

He pulled it away from her as she reached for it. "Nuh-uh-uh. _I_ control it. It's my laptop. You just sit and enjoy."

She sniffed, leaning back. "You know, as soon as this is over, I hate you again."

"Mhm."

* * *

><p>Mikan folded up the letter, glancing around the guest room cautiously.<p>

Opening her window and letting out a whistle, she winced, looking at the door like it was about to explode, before turning back to the window as she heard flapping.

Anya, in raven form, landed on the windowsill, head cocking as she ruffled her feathers.

Mikan grinned. "Anya, my lovely pet! Can you deliver this letter to Natsume?" She slid the letter onto the sill, watching Anya hopefully.

The bird turned around and pooped on the paper to show her displeasure.

Mikan scowled, picking up the letter and wiping it on the curtain—it was Hotaru's, so she didn't care how it looked—before setting it down again. "Anya, please, I know you don't like Natsume, but I love him, so _please_?"

Anya cawed loudly, and Mikan jumped, turning to the door again. "Anya, shush," she hissed. "They can't know I'm doing this!"

Anya shook her feathers out again, making a small, annoyed sound, before picking up the letter and flying out the window.

"Yes!" Mikan fist-pumped.

"What," a voice by the doorway started, "are you doing?"

Mikan whipped around to face Jamie, who was staring at her with a raised eyebrow. "Oh nothing."

* * *

><p>"I feel like I'm going to puke."<p>

"Of course."

"I looked like a clown with all of this make-up."

"Mhm."

"You stopped listening to my bitching, didn't you?"

"Naturally."

Mikan snorted.

"Okay!" Jade stepped away from her, circling her once. "You look really pretty," she finally said, grinning. "I did a good job."

"Well, don't thank the model or anything."

She rolled her eyes. "Anyway, are you ready?"

"To puke?"

"To _get married_!" Mitsuki squealed beside her.

"No. No, too many people. I'm going to puke on Natsume, I just know it."

"It's time, ladies!" Claire snapped, tapping her watch irritably.

Mikan glanced at her unhappily. "No, I don't wanna." She looked Claire up and down. "Holy shit, you look amazing. Is it too late to be gay?"

Claire blinked, then looked down at the green strapless dress she was wearing. "Jamie thinks I look good in green, too," she murmured absentmindedly.

"Well, I guess _you two_ will be having some fun later!" Jade said cheerily, as though she hadn't just implied something about her brother having sex.

Claire flushed. "Shut up! This is Mikan's wedding, not mine!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just remember that I'm too young to be an aunt."

"_Jade!_"

Mitsuki clapped her hands loudly, interrupting. "We are going to be late! We don't want Natsume to think Mikan ran off, do we?"

Jade snorted. "I'd love to see the panic on his face."

"C'mon," Claire said, ushering them out.

Mikan gagged slightly as Jade shoved her through the door.

"Everything should be ready," Claire murmured to her. "Remember, the bridesmaids and ushers go down first, then the flower girl, and then you and Narumi. Can you remember that? You look sick."

"I feel sick," Mikan groaned. "This is going to end horribly."

"No it won't." Claire smiled. "Remember, there won't be any vows, because you didn't want to embarrass yourselves or each other. So he can't comment on your panties."

Mikan hissed slightly as Claire moved ahead, and Narumi replaced her.

"I can't believe you're getting married," he sniffed, looking awkwardly teary. "Remember, you can always back out right now," he reminded, looking at her. "Unless, of course, you are serious about wanting to marry vermin like Natsume."

Mikan grinned. "Yes, I'm sure I want to marry the vermin."

Narumi nodded, quieting as the bridesmaids started away with the ushers. She caught one glimpse of Jamie, who had been staring stupidly at Claire, as he turned at the last moment to flash her a smile.

Aoi, the flower girl, quickly followed.

After a few moments, Narumi tugged her forward. "It's time."

They stepped out, and immediately, she could feel eyes boring into her. She slammed her own eyes shut, letting Narumi guide her, glad that she had a veil to prevent people from seeing her look so nervous.

Biting her lip hard, and opening her eyes, she barely refrained from gasping when she saw that they were almost at the altar. She grinded her teeth violently as Narumi let go of her, leaving her to take a few almost unsteady steps, before Natsume reached for her hand, and she latched onto it gratefully.

"Dear friends and family, we are gathered here today to witness and celebrate the union of Natsume Hyuuga and Mikan Yukihara in marriage."

The rest of the words past in a ringing blur, and suddenly the priest was looking at Natsume. "Do you Natsume Hyuuga, take Mikan Yukihara to be your lawfully wedded wife, promising to love and cherish, through joy and sorrow, sickness and health, and whatever challenges you may face, for as long as you both shall live?"

Somehow Natsume managed to keep his cool, at least on the outside. "I wouldn't have put a ring on her finger if not."

Gasps, laughs, and awkward coughs all erupted from the crowd at Natsume's… Natsume-ness.

_Leave it to Natsume to do shit like this._

The priest, wincing, turned to her. "And do you Mikan Yukihara, take Natsume Hyuuga to be your lawfully wedded husband, promising to love and cherish, through joy and sorrow, sickness and health, and whatever challenges you may face, for as long as you both shall live?"

Two could play that game, though.

"Sure, why not?" she drawled lazily.

This got laughs and a few whoops from her friends.

She saw Jamie nudge Yuuki slightly, and she and Kaori stepped forward quickly, each handing a ring to one of them.

Even though she knew it was supposed to happen, she still flushed when Natsume slid the ring onto her ring finger.

Blushing even brighter—and oh so glad for the veil—she slid the other ring onto Natsume's finger, biting her lip hard.

"By the power invested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride."

Before the words were even out of his mouth, before Mikan could even blink, or think, _I'm officially married!_ Natsume had flipped the veil out of the way, and his lips had found hers.

There was a wolf-whistle—from Arden, naturally—more whooping, cheers, and even a couple of boos—from Jamie and Jade.

"How does it feel officially being Mrs. Hyuuga?" Natsume asked when he finally pulled away, smirking.

She grabbed the front of his tux and yanked him forward so their lips crashed together again. "Amazing."

He opened his mouth to comment again, but his expression darkened.

Hotaru grabbed her by the arm. "Come, Mikan. You can chat with Natsume later."

Mikan stared at her incredulously.

"Oh please, you still get to dance with him, cut the wedding cake and get pictures."

"Yes, but—"

"No buts, Mikan," Hotaru hissed, pulling her away from Natsume.

"You have _got_ to be kidding me."

* * *

><p>"I seriously, <em>seriously<em> hate you two."

Jamie sniffed, looking out the limo window.

Hotaru stared at her nails. "You'll see him soon."

"You seriously just—you stopped me from riding home in the same car as him. Really, Hotaru? Really?"

"Yes, really. You'll see each other in just a minute anyway, so calm down."

She gave Jamie and evil look.

"Hey!" he protested. "You think _I_ wanted or knew about this? Screw you, I would rather be with Claire and that sexy green dress of hers."

She fake gagged.

"Save it. Like you and Natsume are going to be innocent tonight."

"Are you saying you aren't going to be either?"

He blushed. "I—what? I don't know!"

"Jamie you whore!"

"What? She's my fiancée! And you can only blame yourself for 'saving' our relationship."

She hissed at him.

"Well, you stupid cat-lady, we're pulling up now anyway, so you can stop antagonizing me," he grumbled, sinking into his seat.

Barely waiting for the limo to stop, she unbuckled herself and leapt out the door, flipping them the bird on her way out.

About two seconds after the limo pulled away, another one pulled up, and Natsume hopped out of it, spitting curses at whoever was inside, before slamming to door and turning to her.

"Hello, Polka-dots," he greeted blandly, glaring at the limo until it was out of sight.

"Hello, Meowingtons," she mimicked.

He grimaced. "Meowingtons?"

"Yes, Meowingtons. Remember, it was one of my suggestions?"

"You are _not_ calling me that."

"I'd like to see you stop me, Meowin—"

Of course, he found another use for her mouth that stopped her from saying it.

"…gtons," she mumbled, scooting away from him slightly as he pulled away from her.

He looked up at the house, scowling slightly. "This is where they shut me in while you were at Imai's."

She nodded. "Yeah, I gathered."

He grabbed her hand, lacing his fingers with hers and pulling her toward the house as he started towards it.

As soon as he opened the door, the phone rang.

He sent it an annoyed look, making no move to answer it.

"You answer it, okay?" she prompted. "I need to get this make-up off my face. I feel gross."

"You look fine," Natsume mumbled, heading towards the phone with a look of irritation planted on his face.

She turned on her heel and rushed for the bathroom, grabbing a cloth and swiping at her face to get all the make-up off. After smearing it horribly, she debated whether she should go out and make faces at Natsume, before shrugging and continuing to wipe it off.

After drying off her face, she hurried back to where Natsume was, tilting her head curiously.

"Dad, I really don't have time for this," Natsume sighed into the phone when his eyes landed on her. He paused. "Well, that's your fault," he said, then ended the call.

Mikan raised her eyebrows at him. "Trouble with the 'rent, Meowingtons?"

He scowled at her, then hooked his arm around her waist, pulling her against him. "My father is an idiot, like you," he said simply.

The phone rang again and she grinned slightly as he rolled his eyes.

He looked at the caller ID before sighing and bringing the phone to his ear. "Dad, go away." Pause. "Look, I don't _care_, that's your problem, not mine. I just got married, can't you leave me alone?" Without waiting, he hung up again.

He stared at the phone for three seconds.

It rang again.

Scowling, he clicked _Talk_ and then _End_, pulling the back off and taking out the batteries before setting the phone down on the table beside them.

He turned back to her, just as her cell phone started ringing.

Bursting into a fit of giggles at the expression on Natsume's face, she moved away from him and towards her phone, which was sitting by the door, along with a suitcase with her things in it that had come back from Hotaru's. "C'mon, Natsume, he's your dad!" She grinned, answering the phone brightly. "Hello, Mr. Hyuuga!"

On the other end, there was crashing noises. "_Mikan! Oh thank God you answered! You remember how I said I'd watch over Yuuki and Kaori for the next couple of days, before they have to go back to Gakuen Alice?_"

"Yeees, I do."

"_Well, I gave them some cake earlier and—_"

"Didn't I tell specifically _not_ to give them anything with icing?"

"_I-I just thought it would be a nice treat for them._"

"Well, you're screwed."

Another crash.

"_How do I get them to calm down?_"

"You can't. Have fun," she chirped.

"_Please come down and help me!_"

"I'm not going to come down and save you." She rolled her eyes.

"_Please!_"

"Mr. Hyuuga, it is my wedding night. I already have plans that involve Natsume and a bed." She winked at Natsume, who raised his eyebrow as if to say, '_Oh really?_'

"_Oh God, why would you say that to me?_" he shrieked.

"Bye!" She hung up, turning to Natsume and grinning. "Well, where were we?"

Natsume's new cell phone went off and Mikan cracked up laughing as Natsume groaned in exasperation.

* * *

><p>"Natsume!" Mikan called excitedly, rushing into their living room.<p>

"What?" he asked without looking up from his book.

"It's your birthday." She paused, waiting for a reaction. Nothing. "I got you a present."

"Polka-dotted lingerie?" Natsume suggested, glancing up slightly.

"Maybe next year," she said dryly.

He looked back down.

"Natsume!"

Nothing.

Huffing, she stalked over to him, pulling the book out of his hands and tossing it carelessly over her shoulder. "Meowingtons, you really must pay attention."

He stared at her. "Mikan, you don't need to give me a present. I don't want or need anything."

"Really?" She raised her eyebrows at him. "Do you know what our relationship is missing, Natsume?"

"Yes."

"Really now?"

"Yes. Polka-dotted lingerie."

She scowled. "Natsume, be serious."

Nothing.

Still scowling, she settled herself on his lap. "Meowingtons, look at me now."

Nothing.

"This is serious."

Nothing.

"You're going to regret this in a minute."

"Like your present is _that_ good," he scoffed.

"Do you want to hear what it is before you diss it, Natsume?"

He sighed, finally setting his eyes on her. "Fine. What is it?"

"Are you sure? I mean, if you really don't care…"

He rolled his eyes, sighing.

"Well, prepare yourself, cause it's a pretty amazing gift."

He stared at her with a bored expression.

"Meowingtons, I'm pregnant."

Normally, he would snap at her or ignore her for using the nickname Meowingtons, but this time he jolted and his eyes widened. "Pregnant?" he echoed, looking morbidly shocked.

"Yes. Happy birthday."

He stared at her uncomprehendingly for about a minute before finally speaking. "How far along are you?" he rasped.

"Four months now."

Even more shock. "How long have you known?"

"Two months."

A small flicker of annoyance. "And you didn't think to tell me? Does anyone else know?"

"I wanted it to be a surprise!" She smiled widely, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I told Jamie yesterday on the phone, just because I was kinda mortified."

He raised an eyebrow, regaining some of his wits. "And what did he say?"

"He said, and I quote, 'You stupid idiot face! You've been married eight months and you're already knocked up? Christ!'" She paused. "And then I reminded him that Jade has been pregnant for seven months and he hung up."

He slumped against the back of the chair, looking shocked again.

She leaned into him, pulling lightly at his hair. "So? Are you happy? Ready to be a daddy, Meowingtons?"

A moment of silence. "I'm… happy," he said slowly, blinking in disbelief. "I helped raise the twins, so I guess I'm ready."

"Aw," she cooed, grinning into his shirt. "You took care of them when they were moderately grown. A newborn will be torture, Natsume."

Nothing.

"And don't forget what happens to pregnant woman!"

Silence.

Then: "Oh, shit."

* * *

><p>"Natsume?" She nudged him slightly. "Are you awake?"<p>

He sighed slightly. "Is the house on fire?"

"No."

"Is there someone breaking in?"

"No."

"Are you giving birth?"

"No."

"Then what do you want at four in the damn morning?"

"I want howalon."

He rolled around to face her. "You're not serious."

She nodded.

"It's four. The gates to the school are closed, and even if they were open, the howalon store would be closed."

"But I want howalon."

"It's closed."

"But I want howalon."

"Mikan, I can't get any until at least nine."

"Howalon."

Exasperated sigh. "Mikan, I'm not a wizard. The closest thing I could get is Twinkies." A look of horror crossed his face as he realized what he had just suggested.

"Twinkies?" She perked up. "Can you, Natsume? Please?" She stared at him with desperate, wide eyes, and he sighed in defeat.

"Fine," he grumbled, getting up. "But you're coming too."

She was about to protest, but then she realized how unreasonable she was being, so she got to her feet. "Okay."

He looked surprised by her acceptance. "Alright then, let's go."

"Sorry I'm such a pain in the rump," she said as they walked out the front door.

"It's fine," he waved off. "You're pregnant, it's not your fault."

"Well, actually…"

He hopped into the drivers seat of their car and she hopped into the passenger seat. "It takes two to tango, Mikan," he said, pulling out of the driveway.

She blushed. "Well, still. Asking for howalons now is ridiculous."

"Yes," he agreed, "it is."

After a few minutes of silence, they pulled into a gas station that was open 24/7.

"I'll be back in a minute." He got out of the car, running his hand through his hair. "Try not to fall asleep."

Without waiting for a response, he shut the car door and walked into the shop.

A minute later, she fell asleep again.

* * *

><p>"You carried me all the way in? That must have been hard considering I'm so big now."<p>

"Yeah, whatever. The Twinkies are on the counter, piggy."

"Meh, I don't really want them now."

"I'm locking you outside next time you leave."

"Jeez, Natsume, I didn't realize you were pregnant too."

"Bitch."

"Meowingtons."

* * *

><p>"Well, Natsume, was it worth the months of suffering?" She looked up tiredly at Natsume, who was cradling their newborn son, Kei, in his arms.<p>

"Yes," he replied without hesitation.

"You and Jade are sluts," Jamie mumbled from across the room, arms folded across his chest.

"Screw you, Jamie. I'm married and Jade and Arden aren't going to ever break up anyway. And little Jordan is adorable, admit it."

Jamie looked down, confirming what she had said.

"You know, Claire's next."

Fear flashed across his face. "Oh God, that sounds terrifying?"

"Having kids?"

"Claire pregnant."

"Ah, I see."

"Can I hold Kei?" he asked, changing the subject.

Hesitantly, Natsume handed him Kei.

"Holy bejezus he's adorable," Jamie said, staring down at him with wide eyes.

"Yeah, no duh. He's two days old."

"How bad does it hurt giving birth?" he questioned, rocking Kei.

"Let me kick you in the nuts for a couple of hours."

"Ah, no. Wasn't it proven that getting kicked in the nards actually hurts more than giving birth?"

"But I was in labor for a helluva long time."

"…Alright, I can see how that would hurt."

"Give him to me now," she commanded, reaching out. Jamie placed him gently in her hands. Mikan beamed down at him. "Gah! The cuteness is just insane!"

"It is," Jamie agreed in a grim tone.

"It shouldn't be legal."

Natsume rolled his eyes, but he was smiling. Jamie shook his head in amusement.

"Well. It's been a productive couple of days, but I think I'm ready for a nap."

Natsume took Kei from her.

"Whatever, I should be going anyway," Jamie excused. "See you later, sluts."

* * *

><p>Mikan put Kei down in his crib, sighing quietly in relief as she stared at his sleeping face.<p>

She loved him, but he was still a baby.

He took after Natsume, in attitude and looks, so he was generally quiet, but there was still moments.

A knock at the door made her wince, but Kei stayed fast asleep.

Slinking out of the room, she made for the door tiredly.

Natsume was a teacher at the academy along with her, but she was off to take care of Kei. Natsume, however, wasn't. And taking care of a kid was hard work.

She yanked the door open, ready to snap at someone, but froze and paled as she took in the person before her.

"David?"

* * *

><p><strong>HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME~ HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME~ HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEEEEEE~ HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME~<strong>

**Yeah, so it's been my birthday for exactly thirty minutes, and I'm updating.**

**IT'S MY SWEET SIXTEEN SHOULDN'T I BE LIKE, PARTYING, DRINKING, ALL THAT?**

**Instead, I'm reading, writing, Animal Crossing-ing, Magicians Quest-ing, and going on Tumblr. Huh.**

**Anyway, sorry for the late update. Thanks for your support guys. Even if I didn't reply to your reviews, I did read all of them. I'm just not good at… socializing.**

**Hopefully the next chapter won't take so long. Seriously guys, so sorry.**

**Sooo, this chapter is just full of importance, huh? Why don't you drop a review and tell me what you think? Or just say 'happy birthday' or 'have a good birthday' or 'hope you don't puke from eating a whole cake' (OOPS) seriously guys, anything. Put in the word banana for all I care. JUST REVIEW PLEASE I LOVE GETTING THOSE EMAILS SERIOUSLY.**


	34. EXTRA: The Problems: Part One

**Hello there my peeps! Now, I know what you're thinking—did BreakerofDays really just call me one of her peeps? Why yes, she did.**

**Anyway, ignore my randomness. Some of you may remember me mentioning writing a background thingy for my OC's, because they all have their… issues that aren't really spoken of. So I finally kicked my butt in gear and started writing it (now is when you guys go, 'Yaaaay~!').**

**So, once again, we have approached an EXTRA! This one, like Jamie's Story, will be broken into two parts. The Problems, and The Aftermath.**

**Part One (this part) will center around when the characters problem becomes aware.**

**Part Two, The Aftermath, will be when their families come to visit them thanks to Mikan in chapter 28 , Innocence (was it 28? I think it was.)**

**So now we'll see through many different perspectives! Exciting, right? First, when it changes POVs, it'll change the name and alice.**

**Also, WHY THE HELL DOES FFN KEEP DISABLING MY PM'S? BAH! Sorry if you tried to message me and couldn't. Feel free to, but be warned: Once you start talking to me, I won't shut up.**

**First up, Arden!**

* * *

><p><strong>Part One: The Problems<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Name: Arden Taylor<strong>

**Age: Five**

**Alice: Invention**

* * *

><p>"Drums are awesome," five-year-old Arden Taylor said.<p>

His older brother, Bert, cracked up laughing.

Bert hated his name, so Arden tended to mock it. Bert _was_ an odd name. For some reason Bert found it embarrassing. So he liked to say it a lot.

_Bert._

"Will you teach me, _Bert_?" Arden asked for probably the fifth millionth time.

Bert shook his head, grinning. "Haven't I taught you enough?"

Arden picked up one of his brothers drumsticks and weaved it through his fingers, spinning it quickly, skillfully. "This isn't _playing_ the drums. It's playing with a stick."

"I'll teach you when you're older," Bert excused, nabbing the drumstick from him.

Arden fell back onto his brother's bed. "I'm bored."

"And?"

"Entertain me, _Bert_."

Bert turned and raised an eyebrow at him. "You're a demanding little man, you know that, right?"

Arden beamed at him.

"…That's a yes," Bert sighed, smiling slightly. "Well, what do you want to do?"

Arden shrugged.

"Well, why don't you work on that thing you were tinkering with earlier?"

"Don't wanna." Inventing weird things was only fun for about an hour a day. Then it got boring, and when it got boring, then it was time to bother Bert. This was part of his schedule, and he was sticking to it.

Bert stared at him.

"Park?" he asked, flashing the puppy-dog eyes innocently.

Bert continued to stare at him.

Arden stared back.

Bert sighed.

_Ladies and gentleman, we have a winner!_ Arden thought triumphantly.

"Alright then, let's go," Bert muttered, grabbing a hoodie.

Arden let out an undignified squeal of delight, leaping to his feet excitedly. He raced past his brother, grabbing the drumsticks on his way out of the room.

"Why are you bringing my drumsticks?" Bert asked from behind him.

Arden pulled on his shoes, turning to face him. "Because they need fresh air, too," he said matter-of-factly.

Bert stared at him.

He stared back.

Then a smile spread across Bert's face, and he shook his head in amusement. "Okay, fair enough."

Arden opened the door and bolted out onto his front yard, jumping into a rain puddle and causing a huge splash before going over to the sidewalk and turning to wait for Bert.

He stepped carefully around the puddle, looking faintly amused and twisting a volleyball around in his hands distractedly. "Aren't you getting a little old for puddle jumping?"

Arden raised his eyebrow questioningly.

"It was worth a try," he muttered, and Arden noticed that his splash had hit his older brother.

_Oops._

Shrugging at his thoughts, he turned and started towards the park. "Come on, _Bert_."

Bert rolled his eyes.

Arden examined the drumsticks, then waved one of them in Bert's direction. "Hey, look! There's two drumsticks." Bert raised his eyebrow. "One of them—this one-" he waved the drumstick at Bert again "-is you. And the other is me!"

"How can you tell the difference?" Bert asked, shaking his head.

Arden flipped them between his fingers for a moment. "Your one has a small red dot on it from when I spilled paint. Mine doesn't."

Bert sighed in exasperation.

"Hurry up."

"I'm comin'" he murmured, pulling his hood over his head. "You should've grabbed a sweater on your way out."

Arden ignored him.

"Mom's gonna kill me," he whispered to himself.

"_Bert_, talking to yourself is weird."

"Yes,_ I'm _the weird one."

Arden turned and stuck his tongue out at his brother, bounding ahead a few more steps.

"Hey, watch out," Bert warned behind him. "The roads are slippery and we don't need you getting hit, doofus."

He ignored his brother, continuing ahead.

"Hey, I said watch _out_!" This time it wasn't a scolding tone; it was panicked, and suddenly he was shoved roughly onto the wet grass, letting out a yelp and dropping the drumsticks.

There was a screech of car tires, Bert crying out, and Arden squealed in pain as a car ran over his leg. Blinking back his tears and the black blurriness that was forming at the side of his vision, he struggled to sit up slightly, glancing around frantically.

One of his neighbors was running towards him, phone pressed against her ear and terror alight on her face. A car was about a dozen meters away from him, crashed into a tree, smoking.

_Bert._ Where was Bert?

Finally, his gaze landed on a hooded body laying little ways away from the car.

"Oh my God, Arden, are you alright?" Mrs. Duke demanded, kneeling over him.

"_Bert!_" he wailed struggling to get to his brother. "I want Bert!"

She looked up, and upon seeing Bert too, let out a cry, jumping away from Arden, leaving him completely forgotten.

"Bert?" she whispered, putting her hand on his wrist. "Bert, honey, you've gotta wake up." She paused to make a noise between a cough and a sob. "The ambulance is on its way. Stay with me, hon, _please_."

* * *

><p>Arden ultimately decided that death was something he didn't like.<p>

Before, death hadn't seemed like a real thing – he never knew any of the people around town that had died, so it wasn't bothering to him. It was just another thing that people would talk about, that he wouldn't associate with his own life. He didn't bother it; it didn't bother him.

Until the car tires had slipped on the wet cement, leading to Bert's death.

He had gotten away with only a broken leg, but Bert had lost his life, all because he was too stubborn and ignorant to listen.

And now he was on his way to the graveyard, keeping careful to stay as far away as possible from the road. His parents' had told him to stop going to the graveyard, as he had went everyday since the funeral, which had been a week and a half ago. But neither of them had said it with conviction, and they didn't try and stop him.

Just warned him to keep careful.

He stepped carefully past Mrs. Duke's property, not wanting to face her again, keeping his head down. She had seen what had happened, too. She knew Bert's death was his fault.

He grimaced when he heard her voice call to him across the lawn, looking up, though he slumped slightly. "Yes, Mrs. Duke?" he rasped, then coughed to clear his throat from its tightness.

She walked towards him from her front porch and he turned his eyes back to the ground.

"Arden, dear, I think your—" Her words abruptly halted, and she coughed before continuing, "I think your brother must have dropped these."

He looked up when she held her hands out, and stared stupidly at one drumstick, and two halves of a drumstick.

Numbly, he took them from her, staring down at them.

She didn't seem to notice how distressed this made him, or she was trying to ignore it, for she started again. "Is that rose for him?"

He switched his gaze to his other hand, which was holding rose that he had absentmindedly been weaving through his fingers like he would a drumstick. "Yes," he murmured blankly. "Thank you for the drumsticks, Mrs. Duke. I should be going."

She nodded at him, backing toward her porch again, and he continued on his way to the cemetery, putting the stem of the rose in his front pocket so he could examine the sticks better.

A wave of nausea hit him. The broken stick would most certainly be Bert's.

Some sort of twisted punishment from God.

But as he stared at the broken one, there was no red mark.

And there was on the one that was still fine.

He blinked back tears, walking through the cemetery's entry gate and curving through the paths that he knew all to well. He stopped in front of the grave that read his brothers name, birth date, and day of death.

Leaning over it, he pulled the rose back out of his pocket and poked it stem down into the dirt so it stuck up, like it was still alive.

But pretending it was alive was as pointless as pretending Bert was.

He sifted the dirt aside until there was a hole that was about a foot deep, then placed the broken halves in it and covered it back up.

"So I'm always with you, even when I'm not," he murmured, hoping that somewhere, somehow, Bert heard him.

Because this would be the last time he would see the grave in years.

His parents had agreed to send him to an academy for geniuses called Alice Academy. They had been avoiding it since he was born, but now they thought he needed to get away.

And maybe he did.

Twisting the drumstick with the splotch of paint on it through his fingers like Bert had taught him, he started home again.

* * *

><p><strong>Name: Damien Rader<strong>

**Age: Ten**

**Alice: Immobilization**

* * *

><p>"You've been doing very well at this school, Damien." The principal smiled kindly down at him, but he made no effort to be friendly back. "In reward for all of your efforts, you are granted a few days to go back and visit with your family."<p>

How disgustingly rehearsed had _that_ sounded? Of _course_ he was doing well. He was the only student with half a brain and they had been sending him out to do their dirty work daily, for the last two years now.

He shrugged coolly. Getting out of the academy and _not_ doing missions? Sounded like a good deal. His family was a bonus, he guessed. "Alright. When do I leave?"

A small flicker of relief flashed across the principal's face. He was probably expecting Damien to argue, something he was very good at. "You can leave as soon as you're ready."

He nodded curtly. "I'll go pack my bags now. I'll be leaving later today," he added, narrowing his eyes dangerously.

The principal's expression faltered. "Well, today might be too early for—"

Damien immobilized his jaw, stopping him from continuing. "Thank you for your consideration, sir," he hissed, walking towards the door without another word.

As the door opened, Mitsuki and Jade toppled in, both wearing guilty expressions.

Damien raised an eyebrow at them, helping first Mitsuki, then Jade, to their feet. "Hello, ladies. Can I help you?"

Jade backed away from him slightly, looking terribly embarrassed, but Mitsuki stood her ground, wiping off her pants easily. "You're leaving?" she asked simply, tilting her head to the side cutely as they walked out of the office.

_Cutely?_ Was that word even in his vocabulary?

Dismissing the bothering thoughts, he nodded. "Will you miss me?" he teased, twisting a strand of her hair between his fingers.

She made no move to make him stop, just completely ignored the gesture, flashing a dazzling smile at him. "Of course! Will you miss me?"

He opened his mouth to answer, but Jade was suddenly tackled, capturing his attention.

Arden grinned at them, hugging Jade tightly. "Hey, cute-stuff," he said quietly to Jade, then added to all of them, "What's up?"

Mitsuki turned to Arden, her hair slipping out of Damien's fingers in the process. "Damien's going to go visit his family for a couple of days," Mitsuki explained quickly, her eyes flicking back to him.

Arden shot him an impressed look. "That's cool. When are you leaving?"

"Today."

Arden nodded. "Well, don't miss me too much."

"I won't," he said dryly.

Arden shrugged, turning his attention to Jade again. "Hey, we were going to go get some ice-cream after classes, remember?"

Jade's face lit up. "Oh yeah! Let's go!" As if completely forgetting about Mitsuki and him, she dragged Arden away, wondering aloud which ice-cream flavor she should get.

Damien watched after them for a moment before turning back to Mitsuki, who was staring at him patiently.

"So?" she asked, head tilting again.

He blinked. "So what?"

"So, will you miss me?" she asked again.

"I don't know." He leaned his forehead against hers, happy that she finally reacted by blushing. "Will I?"

She was openly staring at his lips, and just as he was about to close the distance between them, a voice echoed through the hall. "Find another girl to play with, Rader?"

Damien pulled away from Mitsuki, eyes narrowing to slits as he turned to stare down the hall. "Mr. Priest." A rather ironic name considering he was the dangerous ability teacher that forced missions on Damien. "Of course not."

He took a few long strides so he was standing beside the teacher, casting a quick glance at Mitsuki, who was staring at them awkwardly, scuffling her shoes.

"Don't tell me you've actually found someone you _care_ about, Rader," Mr. Priest hissed. "We can't have you… _distracted_, can we?" He played with a knife, running his finger across the blade, and out of the corner of his eye, Damien saw Mitsuki's eyes widen.

He stared at the floor for one fleeting moment before looking up into Mr. Priest's eyes. "No," he said, voice turning cold. "No distraction." He tossed Mitsuki a scathing look. "Like I could care about _her_."

Mitsuki flinched, but her eyes were understanding as she stiffly nodded, turning on her heel and sauntering away.

He gritted his teeth, staring at Mr. Priest. "What do you need?" He was handed a folder, and at once he knew there was a mission to be done. "I don't have time for missions," he snarled. "I'm going home for two days and I need to pack."

In a flash, a hand was wrapped around his neck, and Mr. Priest's face was shoved up close to his. "Are you saying _no_?" he asked, grip tightening, and a small, disbelieving smile forming. "You don't want me to go after that little girl, do you?"

His heart momentarily stopped, but he forced out, "Why should I care what you do to her? I told you I don't care."

There was a prick on his neck, and he winced when he realized that the knife was pressed against his throat. "You don't want to be responsible for the death of her…" He felt a drop of blood slide down his neck. "Do you?"

_Why? It's not like I've never killed before…_

He grunted when Mr. Priest let go of him, shoving him against the wall in the process. With a small hiss, he snatched the folder that was being held out to him expectantly.

"You will leave immediately," he told him.

Damien bit the inside of his mouth to stop himself from retorting, pressing his sleeve against his neck to clean up the bit of blood. With a hateful glare, he turned and walked down the hall where Mitsuki had disappeared. Turning the corner, he spotted her standing there, pressed against the wall, eyes shocked at what she had heard.

Their eyes connected as he walked past her, and she jerked forward at the sight of blood, probably about to demand to help him, before she recoiled away reflexively, eyes blanking of their former concern.

He turned his gaze to the ground, continuing past her without a second glance.

* * *

><p>As the taxi pulled up to a familiar house, Damien hesitated.<p>

His mom… what would she think of him now? In Mr. Priest's eyes, was he even allowed to be seeing her? _Would he hurt her_ if not?

When the taxi driver turned to glare at him, he lazily tossed a twenty dollar bill at him, hopping out without a word. He had money to spare whereas the driver probably struggled financially.

Drivers deserved money; murderers like him didn't.

The trunk popped open at the click of a button, and Damien grabbed his small suitcase, slamming the trunk closed unnecessarily hard, jaw clenching irritably. Coming here was a _horrible_ idea. He hadn't even waited for his wounds to heal, so he had bruises and cuts all over him. What would his family think of _that_? Probably nothing good.

Sighing as the taxi drove off, he turned to the door, taking hesitant steps towards it. The academy had remembered to call them and let them know he was coming, right? If not, they were certainly in for a shock.

He bit the inside of his mouth hard before knocking on the door quietly, praying they were out and he could just turn and leave.

Dismayingly, the door flew open, and he stood face-to-face with his mother. He had grown it seemed. Or she had shrunk.

Her mouth opened as though she was going to say something, but all she managed to do was squeak and gawk at him. It had been four years, after all.

After a long silence, he finally muttered, "Can I come in or not?"

She moved aside automatically and he walked in, glancing around carelessly as she continued to stare at him.

The house looked completely different on the inside from when he was little.

The living room, which was just inside the door, had no television, and almost all of the furniture had been replaced. The once ugly yellow couch was now gone, replaced with three indigo armchairs; the walls were a light blue; the carpeted floor was now wood with a small rug on it that, naturally, was also blue.

A small flicker of annoyance arose, but he swatted it away. The place was allowed to change. Besides, it looked a lot better than it used too.

He turned back to his mother expectantly, but she just continued to flounder for words. "The academy _did_ call to say I was coming back for a few days, right?"

She made a small choking noise. "What happened to your _face_?" she demanded suddenly.

Feeling a little insulted, he replied breezily, "It became handsome." And then he realized she was probably talking about the bruise on his jaw and the scratches on his forehead and cheek. They weren't really handsome.

"You're hurt," she blurted.

He shrugged. "Not really." He almost added, '_I've been shot before, this is nothing,_' but that probably would have made the situation worse, and this wasn't some pretty girl he was trying to impress.

"Whoa, is that Damien?" A voice called from above him and he turned to look up the staircase, where his brother stood.

"Parker," Damien greeted after a moment. He wasn't exactly looking forward to seeing _him_ again. Parker and Isabelle, his older sister, hadn't exactly been friendly to him when they were younger. Apparently three children was one too many, and he shouldn't have existed. Isabelle was at college, but Parker was still here. Damien would rather have had Isabelle. She minded her own business if Damien didn't bother her.

Parker was just an asshole in general.

Parker laughed. "It _is_ you!" He hopped on the stair railing, sliding down it.

Damien was disappointed he didn't fall. "Yes, I'm me. I'm sure it's shocking." He tensed slightly as Parker approached him, but nothing happened, so his muscles relaxed slightly.

Parker raised an eyebrow. "Ouch. Little Damien get bullied at school?" he cooed in a mocking way. So much for nothing happening.

He walked past him, looking around in an unimpressed manner. "Where should I be staying?" he asked his mother, ignoring Parker.

"You can have your old room." She smiled tensely. "We haven't changed it at all."

So it was probably really annoyingly childish. "Whatever," he said quietly, pushing past Parker and climbing up the stairs quickly.

He stared down the narrow hallway blankly for a moment, feeling as though he had traveled back in time, before he was suddenly aware of Parker sneaking up behind him. Parker was good at being quiet, but when you were being trained for missions, only the best could trick you.

He whipped around quickly, grabbing Parker's hand midair as it lurched towards him.

"Did you need something?" he asked, curling his lip.

Parker blinked thrice, before pulling his hand back and raking it through his hair. "No, I'm good. You remember where your room is, right?"

_I'm not stupid._ "Yes," he replied stiffly, walking down the hall and opening the first door on the left. Yup, definitely his room. It was chocolate brown, a color his mother hated, but he insisted on getting.

"Very good," Parker sneered behind him.

Damien ignored him, walking over to his bed. It was too small for him now, but it had Harry Potter bed-sheets, so he wouldn't complain. He dropped his suitcase down on his bed, then fell down beside it, causing the bed to make an ugly noise that made him grimace.

Parker walked in after him, looking distastefully down at the suitcase. Or maybe the bed-sheets. "How long are you staying? Not long, judging by the 'case."

Damien rolled his eyes, reaching over and clicking a button on the suitcase. The size suddenly increased drastically and Parker's eyes widened. "Welcome to the world of alice's," Damien said dryly. He wanted to add in a few colorful words he had picked up, but he would try to be at least a little civil… for the time being. "I'm only staying two or three days probably. A week at most." _If I can put up with you that long._

Parker flung himself onto the bed, landing on his knees and causing the bed to groan again. Without so much as asking, he opened the suitcase.

Damien watched, hiding annoyance, as Parker rummaged through it, tossing the clothes that lay on top to the end of the bed. Making a face, he pulled out some textbooks and assignments.

"You come home for a break and you bring _homework_?" he asked disgustedly.

Damien rolled his eyes as the items were thrown to the floor. "I have to keep up with my school work."

The comment went unnoticed as Parker kept digging. "Ooh, and what's this?" A small book was pulled out, and despite wanting to, Damien made no move to take it away as he flipped it open. Parker's eyebrows rose. "Your classmates, huh? Seems like you've got some chicks after you." He turned it towards him as though he wouldn't already know what was in it.

The first page was the first class photo they had taken, and there was plenty of girls swarming him, and the ones that couldn't get close to him were wearing shirts with his name, or holding signs declaring their undying love for him.

Parker snorted. "And what did you do to deserve their attention? Kill someone?"

A small jolt of pain shot through him at how close to the truth that was. "Yes," he answered honestly.

Parker gave him an annoyed look, clearly not believing him, and flipped the page. Upon finding another two pictures that were pretty much the same, he closed the book, dropping it beside him lazily.

Damien tried not to look relieved. The pages after that mostly consisted of him and Mitsuki, and _that_ wouldn't be quickly let go.

A small stack of CDs was pulled out and placed to the side without a second glance. Parker sat back, scowling as he came to the end of the bag. "You're a boring kid."

'_I'm not a kid_' would have been a kid-like answer. "I do not require anything else for a small visit."

"Twerp," Parker hissed. He snatched the book back up and Damien inwardly cringed when he flipped open to the third page and he smirked. "Got a little girlfriend, Damien?"

"We're just friends," Damien said evenly.

"Get rejected?"

"No, we're just friends."

Parker flicked through the pages, looking more and more amused every time Mitsuki appeared – which was a lot. "You sure about that?"

"She's the only one who sticks with me despite—" He cut himself off quickly. _The missions._ Mitsuki was the only one who didn't look at him differently because of them. There was no fear, no admiration in her eyes. Just simple acceptance of who he was.

She wasn't technically the _only_ one, he supposed, because Jamie Swift was rather understanding because he went on missions too. But it wasn't the same.

Parker looked away from the book and at him, and when he saw Damien's expression, he almost swore his brother looked _concerned_ about him. "Despite what?"

A sharp pain flashed to his head and he cringed violently, shoulders coiling painfully as images formed in his head, full of blood, forcing him to relive watching people die at his own hands.

Parker was saying something, worry and fear suddenly dawning on his face, but Damien pushed past him, reaching into his suitcase with shaky hands and opening a small secret compartment and pulling out a small bottle and a cellphone, accidentally knocking a gun out of it, making it easy for Parker to see.

Parker cursed loudly when he saw it, Damien ignoring him and pulling three pills out and popping them into his mouth—it was more than how many he was supposed to take at a time, but he didn't find himself caring as he dry-swallowed them, dialing Mitsuki's ever familiar number.

She wasn't supposed to have a cell, but Damien had given her one as a gift without anyone's knowledge. No teachers would try to stop Damien from doing anything anyway, except Priest.

When he couldn't get his hand to stop shaking, he gritted his teeth, pressing the speaker button quickly and dropping the phone, suddenly not caring about what Parker would do.

"_Damien, what's wrong?_" Mitsuki's voice suddenly demanded loudly. "_Are you okay? Did you get to your house fine?_"

"Mit-tsuk-ki," he stuttered through the tremors that crawled over his skin.

He heard her breathe in deeply on the other end. "_Again, Damien?_"

She didn't mean, 'You're having _another_ panic attack?' she meant, 'You went on more missions and now you're killing yourself from the inside – again.'

"_I don't know if I can comfort you through the phone._"

"I just… need to hear your voice." The shudders were already dissipating—from the pills or the comfort of Mitsuki's voice he wasn't sure.

There was a shifting noise. "_But I probably sound all static-y and gross over the phone._"

He chuckled weakly. "It'll do."

Mitsuki sighed. "_Damien, you cannot keep doing this._"

"I didn't call for a lecture, Mitsuki," he muttered, clenching his hand into his quilt.

Her voice rose to an almost-shout. "_Damien, you're _killing_ people!_"

Parker jolted backwards, falling onto the floor, eyes wide, mouth agape.

Damien pretended he wasn't there. "It isn't a _choice_ anymore, Mitsuki. It's either I kill them or Priest kills you." Before Mitsuki could say something that would make him hang-up, he continued, "I don't care what you say, Mitsuki. I don't care how many people die. It's only for self-defense. It's only for _you_." He was pretty sure he was the only one that knew Mitsuki had been on a few missions. That was never going to happen again with him around.

Mitsuki was silent for a long time. "_Damien, I don't care for the people that you've killed. I know you only do it if you have to. But I don't want you to protect me at your own expense… I don't want you to die for me, Damien. I don't want that._"

"I don't want it either," he said blankly. "But it's not a choice anymore." He changed the subject. "I want you to come here."

"_What?_"

"You heard me. I'm going to tell the principal that you're coming. I don't care if he says no. I can't do this by myself, Mitsuki. I _can't_."

A pause.

"_I know,_" Mitsuki whispered before the line went dead.

Damien stared down at his lap, letting the phone buzz before he finally reached over and clicked the disconnect button.

Parker made a funny noise. "What the _hell_, Damien? What is going on?"

Damien rolled the cell around in his hand blankly. "Nothing. Just leave, Parker."

"No." The defiance in his voice made Damien look at him. "Damien, I know we don't always get along, but that doesn't change that you're my brother."

A sudden wave of anger washed over him, and he narrowed his angrily. "You want to know what's going on?" he spat. "The academy sends its students out to _kill_ people that oppose them. And if you don't do it"-he paused, curling his lip at his brother-"they kill you, your friends, your family. Anyone important to you." He sent him a disgusted look. "I was sent here as a reward for being the best in the business."

Parker stared at him for a long time, still on the floor, looking dazed, before he finally got to his feet and walked out, shutting the door quietly behind him.

Damien stared at the floor as a thought popped into his head.

_So wouldn't it be better I didn't care?_

* * *

><p>Damien's mother stared at him from across the table, smiling stiffly. "You… invited a girl to stay over?"<p>

He probably should've asked about inviting Mitsuki over. But the more he separated from his family, the better.

He had called the principal after he had calmed down, telling him that he was requesting Mitsuki's company. After a small, pointless argument, he had agreed—and he _wouldn't_ tell Priest of anything.

"Where will she sleep?" she fretted, biting her lower lip and staring across the table, at the table that used to be his fathers.

Damien spared the chair a glance – the last time he had eaten at this house, his father had still been sitting there. But now he was dead. But maybe it was easier that way. "She'll sleep in my room," Damien said simply, poking at the dinner in front of him.

"She could sleep in Izzy's room," she murmured to herself.

"She'll _sleep_ in _my_ room," he hissed, glaring up at his mother.

A look of shock passed over her face at his hostility before she pursed her lips. "Please, Damien, don't act like this when you're only be here for a short while."

"If you don't like the way I act, feel free to send me back right now." Under his breath, he muttered, "Like it matters now."

He could sense his mother's annoyance. "Parker, tell your brother he's being ridiculous."

Parker winced and stared silently down at his plate.

"Damien, it is inappropriate," she continued, ignoring Parker's silence.

"I don't _care_ if it's inappropriate. Mitsuki will bunk with me," he finalized.

"Damien…" Disappointed gaze sent at him.

Disappointed gaze ignored. "Mother, I do not care for your wishes," he said harshly. "Mitsuki will bunk with me, and that is it."

"Damien!" she cried, sounding dismayed.

He pushed his uneaten dinner away from him and got to his feet. "I'm not hungry," he stated easily, turning and walking to the stairs, ignoring his mothers calls behind him.

_It's better for you this way._

* * *

><p>Parker stood in his doorway.<p>

Damien sat on his bed, throwing darts at his old dartboard, ignoring his presence. When at last he ran out of darts, he paused, expecting Parker to say something.

Silence.

He reached into his pocket, took out his pocketknife and threw it, feeling a sick, satisfied glow when it sliced through his plastic dart, landing dead in the center of the board.

Out of the side of his eye, he saw Parker wince as the two plastic halves of the dart fell to the floor.

"What do you want Parker?" he asked at last.

Parker fidgeted. "Um, well… a limo just pulled up. You might want to get to the door before Mom does."

He hid his excitement, getting slowly to his feet and waltzing past Parker coldly. He looked down the staircase, narrowing his eyes slightly as he saw his mother open the door, before he ventured slowly down the stairs, listening intently.

He could hear Mitsuki's ever-loud voice as he hovered just out of sight. "U-um, hi, my name is Mitsuki. This is the Rader residence, right?"

He saw the word 'No' forming on his mom's lips as he stepped forward so they could both see him.

His mother blushed shamefully, apparently knowing he had seen her just about to say no, and Mitsuki smiled widely, looking relieved.

"Mitsuki," he greeted coolly. He sent his mother a small, uncaring look. "You can go now. Thanks for answering the door." He reached past her, grabbed Mitsuki's wrist and pulling her into him, hooking one arm around her waist.

"You don't want to introduce us?" His mother asked quietly, sounding slightly hurt.

"Mitsuki, this is my mother. Mother, this is Mitsuki Hinata," he said quickly. He felt a small, genuine smile form on his face, the first one since he had gotten 'home'. "I'm really happy to see you," he murmured to Mitsuki, brushing her hair behind her ear.

As Mitsuki wrapped her arms around him affectionately, he heard his mother suck in a sharp, pained breath, and walk away stiffly. He knew why—not once had he smiled. Not once had he let anyone hug him. Not once had he said "I'm happy to see you."

And he wouldn't.

He pulled away from Mitsuki slightly, causing her to look up at him, face still half-buried in his chest. "I'll take you to my room," he said quietly, grabbing her hand and leading her to the staircase.

"I'm staying in your room?" she asked, sounding shocked and flattered.

"Of course." He tightened his grip on her hand. "There's no where else for you to stay."

"The couch," Parker offered as they reached the top of the stairs. "Izzy's room. You just _said_ your little girlfriend was going to sleep in your room no matter what."

"She's not my girlfriend," Damien grumbled as Mitsuki politely stuck her hand out for him to shake.

Parker shook it. "I'm Parker, that twerps older brother."

Mitsuki nodded, smiling slightly. "I'm Mitsuki."

"Oh, I know who _you_ are." He smiled slyly. "Damien's got a little photo album, and you come in it _a lot_."

Mitsuki blushed, looking down and picking at her shirt awkwardly.

"Piss off, Parker," Damien hissed, dragging Mitsuki past him and into his room. "Please ignore every childish thing about this room."

He felt his cheeks heat up slightly as she started laughing. "Harry Potter bed-sheets Damien?"

"Shush, they're rad."

"A poster that says 'I Love Chocolate?"

"…Shush it's rad."

"…A dartboard with a knife in it…"

"…Shush, it's sharp?" he offered lamely.

"What, you're gonna stab me?" she said, sticking her tongue out.

"No, but I might stab Parker." He sent a glare at his brother, who had followed them in, hands shoved deep in his pockets.

Parker sniffed indignantly and said nothing.

"Enjoy my kingdom," he said to Mitsuki, motioning around his room. "I'm pretty sure any hidden chocolate you find will be inedible." He fell backwards onto his bed, ignoring the protesting noise it made, and patted the spot next to him for Mitsuki to sit in. "You can sleep on my bed."

She blinked. "And you'll sleep on the floor?"

"Yeah, that was the idea."

"No." He blinked. "This is your room, you should sleep on it. I'm the guest."

"She has manners," Parker gasped dramatically. "I always thought you'd end up with some bitch."

He went ignored. "No, I pretty much forced you to come down. You can take the bed, Mitsuki, it's no big deal."

"It isn't a big deal," she agreed. "That's why you should take it."

He tried to mask his annoyance, but he knew it was showing clear as day. "Mitsuki, I want you to have the bed."

"Damien, too bad."

"If it's really a big bother," Parker cut in, smiling cunningly. "She could sleep in _my_ bed."

"No," Damien fired immediately. "No, no, no. Parker, go away."

He shrugged. "Whatever. I'm bored of this and it's almost midnight. Good night, lady and gent." He tipped an invisible hat and backed out of the room, rolling his eyes.

"Mitsuki, you are taking the bed, and I don't want you to argue anymore." He grabbed the extra blankets he had brought in earlier and started to make a small bed on the floor.

Mitsuki sat on his bed, glaring at him.

"The bathroom is just down the hall, second door on the right. You can get ready for bed there. I got ready before you came," he told her without looking up. He saw her feet pass him as she walked out of the room, and he continued to spread sheets across the floor until he had a bed that took more than half of the floor. He slid under the top quilt, and grinned at Mitsuki when she walked back in, clad in pajamas.

She looked down at him. "I get the floor."

"Nope. Can you get the door and the light?"

She shut the door, turned off the light, then slid under the cover beside him.

He stiffened. "What are you doing?"

"I told you I'm sleeping on the floor," she said simply.

He sighed through his nose. "You're a stubborn girl, you know that?"

"But that's why you love me," she teased jokingly.

He bit the inside of his mouth hard, because that was so close to the truth it hurt. Choosing to pretend that the comment hadn't bothered him in the least, he slung an arm over her waist and pulling her closer to him. "Thank you for coming."

"It's fine," she mumbled, and even in the dark he could see the embarrassment on her face. "It's nice to get out of the academy anyway."

"I think you just wanted to meet your future family," he teased. "I mean, you totally obviously want to marry me."

She slapped his arm, laughing.

He faked a gasp. "What, you _don't_? I find that insulting, Future-Missus-Rader."

She playfully threw his arm off of her.

"You wound me, you know."

"I'm sleeping now."

After a few minutes, he snaked his arm around her again. "I could think of worse things than being married to you," he muttered.

* * *

><p>Damien woke up, entangled with Mitsuki.<p>

Normally, this would cause him to smirk, wake her up, and mock her.

But with a simple glance at his alarm clock, he saw it was five in the morning, and if he woke Mitsuki up at such an early hour, she'd probably slap him. Repeatedly.

So instead, he wormed his way away from Mitsuki, sitting up and blinking tiredly. Curse him for waking up so early. Curse early morning missions for making him have his sleeping hours like this.

Rubbing at his eyes, he clambered to his feet, glancing at Mitsuki once, then padding out of his room and down the stairs. As he expected, no one was up except him.

He sighed, sitting down on the living room windowsill and leaning his forehead against the cool glass.

And he waited.

But not for long.

A small buzz erupted from his sock, and he reached into it, pulling out his cellphone. He let it vibrate in his hand for a long while, staring down at it. He knew it was going to be Priest, telling him that there was a mission. But he didn't know whether or not to answer it—he wasn't at the academy, so it wasn't like he could do anything anyway.

He barely glanced up when he saw movement at the top of the stairs.

Parker.

He was acting like such a stalker, standing up there and staring down at Damien.

Damien didn't acknowledge him. Just stared down at the phone.

He would have to answer it soon, or when he got back to Alice Academy, he would be in trouble.

Parker was slowly walking down the stairs, trying to not be noticed, but it was too late for that.

Sucking in a sharp breath, Damien flicked open the phone, putting it to his ear. "What do you want, Priest?"

There was a moment where the phone just crackled with static. "_What do you _think_ I want, Damien?_" Mr. Priest snarled.

"I can't do any of your damn dirty work," he spat. "I'm not at the academy right now, remember? Get someone else to do it. I'm sure Swift would do it—anything to keep him and his sister safe."

Parker frowned at him from across the room.

"_I don't appreciate you talking back to me._"

"I don't appreciate talking to you in general," he snapped back. He was seriously pushing his luck, but over the phone, he couldn't get physically hurt.

There was a pause and Damien winced. Now he had done it.

"_I think I've made it quite clear that I'm not afraid to hurt your little girlfriend Mitsuki._"

A wave of anger washed over him. "You leave Mitsuki alone!" he cried, voice rising drastically. "If you so much as _talk_ to her, I swear I'll kill you!"

There was a laugh on the other end of the line. "_I thought you didn't care._"

He faltered at his mistake.

"_You will be doing this mission, Rader. Swift is good, but not good enough._"

"So it's a hard mission," he said, all fight out of his voice. It was just empty now—robotic.

"_Yes, it should be on the rougher side. Its location is close to where you are, in fact._"

Of course it was.

"_There should be a car to pick you up, a change of clothes, and, of course, weapons. It shouldn't take someone of your talent long to accomplish._"

Damien peered out the window and finally noticed the limo parked across the street. How he had failed to notice it before was a mystery. Maybe it hadn't been there. "Fine," he relented tiredly. "Whatever. I'll go."

"_Shocking._"

Damien resisted the urge to smash the phone into the wall as he hung up. Without a word to Parker, he got up, went to the door and slipped his shoes on.

"Where do you think you're going?" Parker asked, concern and annoyance in his voice.

"Out," he replied steadily.

"Don't be stupid. You can't go out, it's barely five."

"Well I have things to do."

"_Academy_ things?" Parker snapped, voice dark.

"Possibly." He pulled the door open, cringing lightly at the cool air.

"That's stupid of you," Parker said behind him.

"Possibly," he replied evenly, stepping out and shutting the door behind him, effectively shutting Parker up.

Rolling his eyes, he started towards the limo, when the door flew open again.

"And just _where_ do you think you're going?"

He groaned inwardly, turning around just before he reached the limo. "Mitsuki, go back inside."

"No." Her arms folded across her chest defiantly as she strode towards him. "You're such an idiot. You aren't on academy grounds—you shouldn't be doing missions while you're off."

"It doesn't matter. It won't take long."

"It _does_ matter!" she cried, stamping her foot stubbornly. "You get hurt! Other people get hurt!" She stepped forward and reached for the handle of the limo door. "_I'll_ go!"

He grabbed her wrist. "_No_, you won't."

She tried to get out of his grip, but he twisted her around so she was pressed back first into the limo, facing him, his arms blocking her in place.

"Damien, let _go_." She must have noticed how close they were, because she faltered on the last word, and her cheeks lit up quickly.

"_No_," he said again. "You aren't going, Mitsuki. I am."

She shook her head stubbornly.

"Mitsuki, I'll be back soon. The sooner I go, the sooner I'll be back so you can stop worrying."

She shook her head violently.

"Mitsuki—I—will—be—fine," he said slowly. "I always am. Maybe injured, but not dead or anywhere close to it."

"No," she persisted, pushing his chest lightly.

He sighed rather exasperatedly.

"Damien—"

"Mitsuki," he interrupted, leaning his forehead against hers.

Immediately, she froze.

"Trust me," he whispered, then, finally, closed the distance between their lips. She remained frozen for a long moment before responding eagerly, fingers hooking into the front of his shirt and holding him to her.

It was exactly what he wanted; _she_ was exactly what he wanted, not any of the stupid girls at the academy.

And like every good thing, everything he wanted, he couldn't have her.

He bit her bottom lip hard, then twisted them around, pushing Mitsuki away, back towards his house.

She stared at him, mouth open in shock, as he threw the limo door open and slid into it, saying over his shoulder, "I'll be back later."

The vehicle started away quickly and Damien looked down at the pile sitting on the seat across from him.

Black clothing, two knives and a gun.

He swapped the light PJ-like clothing he was wearing for the black ones and stared at the weapons.

_This is why we can't have nice things,_ he thought, only part jokingly before grabbing the weapons too.

* * *

><p><strong>Name: Mitsuki Hinata<strong>

**Age: Seven**

**Alice: Mind-reading**

* * *

><p>"Mitsuki, I don't have time to play with you," her mother told her, voice neutral. Not motherly and full of love, not cold, distant. But Mitsuki could hear someone, something, continuing even though her mother wasn't speaking. <em>I've <em>told_ you this already._

Mitsuki looked down at her hands that were clasped in front of her. "Oh…"

"I'm sorry," she continued, not sounding all that sorry. "Hiroto wasn't anything like you. He stuck to himself, so I'm not used to being needed by a child." _Why can't you just be more like him?_

Mitsuki sucked in a sharp breath. "Sorry. I—you're busy, so I'll go."

_About time._ "Thank you, hon." Though she had used an affectionate nickname, her voice held nothing but familiar ice.

She turned and walked out of her mother's office, padding down the hallway until she reached the living room, where she went and sat silently on the couch, staring up at the ceiling.

She could still hear the thoughts of her mother, ringing in her mind. Distantly she could hear her fathers too, coming from above her, upstairs, where his own office was.

They were both concentrating on their work now, Mitsuki forgotten. But she was used to it Getting back to her feet, she skated on her socked feet on the floor until she reached her room, and she walked in to grab something to do.

First, her hand went to her flute, but then she realized that she would get in trouble for making too much noise. So instead she grabbed a basketball off her floor and headed back out, this time to her kitchen, where the front door was located.

They wouldn't notice of she was out, and she wasn't supposed to make noise while she was in, so she slid her shoes on and walked out, mind set on going to the park.

She shut the door quietly, biting her lip and waiting to hear one of them notice, but their thoughts remained on their work, so she sighed and started running towards the park, bouncing the basketball at the same time. The park was only two blocks away, and she was a fast runner, so she got there quickly.

She recognized a few boys from her school at the basketball court and immediately decided that she wasn't going over there.

"Mitsuki!" someone hollered across the park.

She squinted then grinned as her eyes landed on two figures waving their arms at her. Glancing once more, sadly, at the basketball court, she jogged towards the two girls. "Hi Faye," she greeted, grinning. "Sandy."

Faye was genuinely glad to see her, she knew by the inner voice, but Sandy wasn't exactly thrilled.

"Hi!" Faye beamed, hooking her arm through Mitsuki's. "Good to see you here. Me and Sandy were gonna go get some ice-cream with our parents. Do you want to come?"

She hesitated before nodding. "Sure. My parents aren't with me, though."

Faye nodded, not minding, but Sandy's mind shot out loudly, _Of course not, you're parents are never with you._

Mitsuki shuffled her feet and tried not to wince when Sandy's next thought came. _You mine as well be an orphan._

"Well, let's go then!" Faye declared, pulling Mitsuki with her as she started away, Sandy trailing behind them and both unaware that Mitsuki could hear what they were thinking.

Their parents' thoughts were worse, but she already expected them.

_Mitsuki's parents aren't with her again,_ Sandy's father thought in exasperation.

_Poor girl,_ both of Faye's parents were thinking, both happy to see her.

Sandy's mother was trying to remember her name.

"Hi, Mitsuki," Faye's mother greeted happily. "Will you be joining us for ice-cream?"

"Um, I don't have any money with me," she murmured. "But I'd like to come hang out with Faye and Sandy."

There was a pang of guilt from Sandy for thinking badly about her, but Faye's mind was consumed by different ice-cream flavors.

"We'll buy you some, hon," Faye's father said, smiling and reaching for his wife's hand. "If that's alright with my wife and you, that is."

Faye's mother, Mrs. King—Mitsuki suddenly remembered their last name—nodded quickly. "Yes, of course!"

"Thanks," she murmured, shuffling her feet in embarrassment. Being treated like family by people that weren't was wonderful, but painful.

Faye squealed in delight, wrapping Mitsuki in an excited hug. "What flavor should I get? What flavor should _you_ get?" she asked quickly. "There's so many choices!" she said loudly as they started away. The ice-cream shop was in the park conveniently, so it only took them a couple of minutes that was filled with Faye babbling about the different ice-cream flavors and toppings.

Mitsuki listened halfheartedly, smiling slightly as her thoughts trailed back to her own _real_ family. She couldn't even remember the last time they had joined her going to the park—when she was four maybe? Since then their work had gotten in the way, and her older brother Hiroto was at Alice Academy, a school for people with special talents. Hiroto was able to take or change people's memories.

She could read minds, but hadn't mentioned it to anyone. She was well aware that people that worked at the academy were going to send someone down to examine her—her father had been thinking of it last week. By tomorrow, she could be heading to an academy for geniuses – which she was not. And she didn't really want to go to the same school as her favored brother.

Mrs. King asked her what flavor she wanted, and absentmindedly Mitsuki muttered, "Chocolate, please."

She stared at the guy behind the counter, concentrating on his thoughts. She grinned when she heard, _Why is that little girl staring at me like that?_

Turning her attention to the boys at the basketball court, she stretched her senses almost painfully, trying to pick up what they were thinking.

It was barely a whisper, but she could hear their thoughts clearly: girls, basketball, food. Seemed fair enough.

Mrs. King handed her her ice-cream, so she tuned back into the conversation that could actually involve her. Of course, it wasn't about her at all, but it was only polite to listen considering they had just bought her ice-cream. _Chocolate_ ice-cream at that.

After a few minutes of idle chitchat between the adults, Sandy's mother looked at her watch. "Oh dear, we have to go now. Sandy has a doctors appointment." It was actually just an excuse to leave.

The Kings nodded. "Alright then, we should probably head back too," Mrs. King murmured quietly. She smiled at Mitsuki. "Would you like us to walk you home, dear?"

Mitsuki hesitated, but upon discovering that she generally wanted to, nodded slowly. "Um, yes, please. That would be nice…"

"It's no trouble," she excused as Sandy's family walked away. "I'd be worried sick if I let you walk home by yourself."

They started towards her house at a much slower pace than the one Mitsuki had used to get to the park. Faye was murmuring, "I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice-cream," under her breath. Her parents were talking quietly.

Mitsuki twisted the ball around in her hands awkwardly, looking down at her feet. In front of her Faye's parents suddenly stopped walking, both frowning.

"Mitsuki," Mr. King started slowly, "Why is there a limo in front of your house?"

Mitsuki looked up and past them to her house, where indeed there was a limo. Her breath caught in her throat and, without thinking, she ran ahead, dropping her basketball on the ground and hearing it bounce twice behind her, the Kings calling after her, the wind rushing past her as she ran against it, into her house.

She turned down the hallway, not taking her shoes off, and ran into the living room, where her parents were awkwardly sitting with a man dressed in dark.

Hesitantly, she stepped into the room, arms dangling numbly at her side, and her parents looked up at her.

"Where were you?" her mother snapped immediately.

"I was at the park," she said quietly. "What happening?"

The Kings came in behind her, but it was like they were invisible the attention they got paid.

"Mitsuki, this man is from Alice Academy," her father said calmly. "He wanted to… evaluate you to see if you were like your brother."

Her mothers mind instantly responded to that, even if her mouth didn't. _She isn't like Hiroto in the least._

Mitsuki glanced at her, walking forward until she was at the couch, where she sat down blankly. "That's what you think, Mother," she said, voice empty.

Her mouth fell open but no words came out, her father looked confused; the Kings observed quietly. The man leaned forward slightly in the chair he was seated in. "You are Mitsuki Hinata, correct?"

"Yes sir," she answered stiffly.

"Have you noticed anything strange about yourself?" he asked.

_Right to the point, huh?_

Well, she could work with that.

"I can read minds," she answered bluntly.

He looked surprised, and she could hear the turmoil going through everyone else's minds.

"Could you prove that to me?" he questioned, staring at her intently.

She shrugged. "My mom thinks I'm lying. My dad is surprised because I didn't mention anything. Faye is confused about what's happening. The Kings are both hoping I don't have to leave." She paused. "You're thinking that I'm not giving enough description, but I'm seven, so you'll deal with that." She paused again. "And our cat, Muffins, is stuck on top of the fridge and doesn't know how to get down. He's been up there for quite awhile too."

There was a long silence.

"Okay," the man said, leaning back. "How many of you did she get right?"

The Kings looked at each other, both surprised and worried. Faye stuck her hand up in the air. Her parents remained silent except for a sigh from her father.

"I'll go see if the cat is on the fridge," the stranger said, getting up. "If someone could escort me to it?"

Mitsuki instantly started back towards the kitchen, everyone following her.

And indeed, there was Muffins on top of the fridge, looking exceptionally pitiful.

Her father took him down and set him on the floor, and instantly Muffins was running off through the house, thoroughly embarrassed.

"Can you give me any other examples?" the stranger asked, but she could hear in his mind that she was going with him.

"You're thinking that I'm going to Alice Academy," she said lamely. "At the park, Sandy's mom said that they had a doctors appointment, but she really just wanted to leave. Sandy thinks with that the way my parents treat me, I mine as well be an orphan." She paused thoughtfully. "The ice-cream man wondered why I was staring at him. The teenage boys were thinking about girls and food. Muffins is annoyed because his food bowl is empty. My mom thinks that I'm lying because until now, I haven't shown any signs of having an alice."

She waited expectantly.

"Alright," the man said simply. "You seem to show definite signs of mind-reading. Any other things?"

She shook her head.

He turned to the others. "Well, Mitsuki here is going to have to come with me to Alice Academy. She has the mind-reading alice."

"How do you know?" her mother snapped immediately, looking infuriated. "She could've easily guessed those!"

"I'll go take her to pack while you check the cats food bowl," he responded dryly. "Where's your room, Mitsuki?"

She glanced at the Kings momentarily before turning down the hall. "It's just down here," she murmured, leading him to her room. "I knew you were coming down—my dad was thinking about it—so I'm already partly packed."

He nodded, looking impressed and relieved.

She pulled two suitcases out from under her bed, one empty, one packed. Opening the empty one, she started grabbing the things she wanted to take having already packed clothes.

"Is there anything important I should know about the academy?" she asked, stuffing her flute into the bag.

Things flashed through his mind, but they were too quick for her to catch. "Nothing big. The grading system is harder than regular schools and depending on your talent and attitude, you will be treated differently."

She nodded blankly, ignoring her mother, who had shown up at the door, arms folded across her chest. "That's it? You get a few answers that could've been lucky guesses and she goes?"

"Yes, ma'am, that's how it works," he responded, sounding annoyed. "She has shown that she can in fact read minds."

"I know that you were planning on buying pizza for dinner tonight," Mitsuki offered. "But you haven't asked Dad yet, so you don't know if you will or not. If not, you'll make some grilled cheese sandwiches."

The man smiled at her mothers surprised look.

"I think we've got enough evidence," he said smoothly as she zipped up the suitcase.

"I'm done," she muttered, looking at the two suitcases.

"You can't just _take_ her!" her mother snapped viciously.

"Ma'am, you agreed to let me take her if she had an alice. Just because you didn't think she did does not change that at all." He grabbed her suitcases. "I'll bring these down to the car and let you say goodbye."

If she was going to be honest with herself, she didn't really have anything to say. She walked past her mother, back to the kitchen, where her father and the Kings were.

"I'm an alice," she said simply.

Faye wiped at her dripping nose. "But I don't want you to go!" she wailed.

"I'm sorry," she replied sadly. "But I knew I was going to go. Maybe one day you can come and visit, if they allow it."

She nodded, but didn't look reassured.

"Thank you for being so nice to me," she said to all of the Kings. "I didn't really do anything to deserve it, so I really appreciate you all." She stepped back slightly, looking away from the Kings devastated looks to her father and mother. "Thank you for taking care of me," she said blandly. "I'll tell Hiroto that you send love."

She bent down as Muffins rubbed against her leg, scooping him up into her arms. "I'll take the cat."

No one protested.

"I suppose I'll see you after I graduate then." She shrugged and turned, hearing the Kings' call farewells, but her parents remain silent.

* * *

><p><strong>Name: Claire Blackwell<strong>

**Age: Eight**

**Alice: Levitation, cooking, wind**

* * *

><p>"Claire, we're going now!"<p>

Claire hopped out of the piano bench, running down the hallway immediately at her fathers call.

He grinned when he saw her, Matthew by his side, hands shoved deep in his pockets as he stared out the window at the limo that was picking them up.

"Me and your brother will be back in four day. Until then, your mother will be taking care of you."

Claire turned and looked at her mother, who was standing stiffly behind her, expressionless.

Her fathers eyes switched to the older woman. "I trust you will take good care of her, Felicia."

They stared at each other for a long moment, a look that happened often, that neither she nor Matt understood.

"Of course I will," she said, not breaking the eye contact.

"We'll see," he replied, frowning. He looked back at Claire, smile reforming instantly, but it looked forced. "See you in a few days."

Matt rolled his eyes, opening the door and bolting out to the limo, calling a goodbye over his shoulder.

Her father sighed, walking after him, shutting the door lightly after him.

Claire stared at the door until she heard the limo drive away, when she turned.

Felicia was still standing there, eyes trailing across the window as the limo disappeared. Her head hair was tied back in a ponytail and her eyes sparked blue fire.

That was something Claire never understood.

Her father had brown hair. Her mother had red hair. They both had blue eyes. Matt looked like her father.

But she had blonde hair and brown eyes, and no one else in her family did.

As Felicia looked at her, she looked away, not wanting to be caught staring. "Go back to what you were doing, Claire," she said simply, turning on her heel and walking back down the hall.

Claire paused before heading back to the music room, where her piano was.

Her father was the owner of a successful company, so the house she lived in was practically a mansion. She didn't even know how many rooms there was, but the place had eight bathrooms, so she imagined there was about twenty rooms all in all.

She sat down on the familiar piano bench, sliding herself to the middle of it and starting to play Beethoven's _Moonlight_.

After playing through it twice over, she started moving her fingers faster, pressing the keys harder. She didn't mind the classics – in fact, she adored them. But it wasn't what she liked _playing_. She liked faster paced, harder sounding music, but it wasn't what her parents approved.

She heard the door clicking open and immediately slowed again, back to Beethoven.

Her mother walked in, arms folded across her chest, eyes narrowed. "What were you just playing?"

"I'm playing _Moonlight_," she answered smoothly. It wasn't a lie.

She stared, frowning. "I thought I heard you playing something else."

Claire shook her head. "Beethoven."

A small humph escaped her mouth as she turned back out of the room, door shutting loudly behind her.  
>Claire flinched slightly before getting to her feet and walking over to a bookshelf at the corner of the room and pulling out one of the books under the shelf labeled <em>Piano<em>.

* * *

><p>After reading information she already knew and returning to her own room, Claire fell onto her bed tiredly. Around her, her room was a complete mess. The maids only came twice a week, and she wasn't exactly as tidy as she should've been.<p>

Sitting up on her pillows, she pointed at a pile of dirty clothes sitting on her floor. One by one, the scattered clothing lifted, and she levitated them over to the hamper that sat beside her door, dropping them in. A couple of books flew to her bookshelf. Papers piled themselves up and slid under her bed.

"What the _hell_?"

Claire jerked and whipped around to stare at her mother, standing in her doorway.

"What the hell were you just doing?" she demanded. She didn't sound scared or shocked. She sounded _angry_.

She opened her mouth and closed it again as her mother stormed into the room until she was standing right in front of her.

"Were you causing your things to _fly_?"

Biting her lip hard, she nodded.

Felicias face flushed with sudden rage. "You're just like _her_!" she spat venomously. "Your looks, your voice, your _alice_," she hissed. "_Why_ did you have to come and ruin my life?" Before Claire knew what was happening, Felicia had grabbed the front of her shirt and had thrown her backwards against her wall.

Yelping, Claire scrambled away from her, eyes wide, tears threatening them. "I—I don't understand. What have I done?" she asked, voice shaking, lower lip wobbling as she held back her sobs.

Her eyes flashed with an emotion that Claire couldn't identify and she stepped back towards the door. "This is all your fathers fault," she snapped, turning and striding out as though not a thing had happened.

She pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes, biting her lip hard, refusing to cry, trying to make sense of what had just happened.

* * *

><p>"We're hooome!" Matt's voice echoed through the house.<p>

Claire set down the book she was holding and got to her feet slowly, then padded towards the door, nibbling her bottom lip worriedly.

"Claire," her father called, "Where are you?"

She quickened her steps until she was at the front door. "Right here," she mumbled, shuffling slightly.

Her fathers eyes widened. "Oh, honey, are those people still bullying you?"

She gazed over his shoulder, nodding and covering her bruised cheek.

It had been seven months since Felicia had first hit her, and Matt and her father had just gotten back from another business trip.

"Want me to beat 'em up for ya?" Matt asked, punching and kicking the air.

"No," she said in an unimpressed tone. "The fact that the only thing you can beat up is air isn't impressive, you know."

He stuck his tongue out at her. "Whatever." He ran past her, probably heading to his room. "Call me when dinner is ready!"

Her father rolled his eyes, wiping his hands on his dress pants. "Dinner would be nice," he said sheepishly. "Are we ordering in or…?"

"I'll get the cook to start," Felicia stated, backing away from them.

When she was gone, her father turned back to her. "That's a nasty swollen cheek there, kiddo. Are you okay?"

"Fine," she said stiffly.

"You know, if you'd just tell me who did it, I could help you, Clarissa."

She shuffled her feet and tapped her fingers on her thighs, playing a nonexistent piano.

"Well," he sighed. "If you won't tell me, will you at least tell me what's happened over the last couple of days? Did you do anything new?"

She perked up slightly at the subject change. "I can control wind," she burst, excited. Felicia hated her alices, but her father knew about them and approved.

He stood a little straighter, looking immensely interested suddenly. "Really? Can you show me?"

She lifted her hands up in front of her, holding them a few inches apart, facing each other. Slowly, a small current of wind started between them.

Her father pushed his hand into the small circle and gave a small smile. "That's amazing."

"Amazing?" A voice spit behind her, and immediately Claire let her hands drop. "It's unnatural."

Her fathers face fell. "Felicia, it's wonderful that she has such a talent."

Felicia stepped forward until she was standing in front of Claire. "You _approve_ of such a thing? She's like a mutation of some sort. An _experiment._" Her hand moved, just an inch, into the air, and automatically, Claire flinched.

She could see it clicking her fathers face as his eyes widened and he turned to look at his wife. "_You've_ been the one hitting Claire!"

For a moment, Felicia actually looked surprised, before it was instantly masked with anger. "Me?" she spat. "Yes, of course it was me! How it took you so damn long to figure out is beyond me!"

"You're still mad about what happened all those years ago?" he sputtered. "Mad enough to take it out on a _child_?"

"She ruined my life!" she shrieked, then, as if unable to take it, took off down the hall.

Her father seemed to deflate, looking years older than he was. "Claire, can you come with me somewhere? I need to tell you some things."

She followed him out the door silently, hopping into his Jeep and doing up her seatbelt. He pulled out of their driveway, slumping.

"I probably should've told you this a long time ago," he said tiredly. "But Felicia isn't your biological mother."

Her jaw tensed but she said nothing, staring into her lap, tapping her fingers against her legs.

"I cheated on her a long, long time ago." He watched her eyes widen. "You look just like her. Your real mother, that is. She also had an alice, a voice meant for music…" he sighed deeply. "It's a long story, but what really matters is the end. She gave birth to you…" He bit his lip. "But she died when she did."

Her eyes watered slightly, and she looked out the car window, blowing wind hard against the van, fingers curling into her palm.

"I didn't want to leave you with a different family, so I took you. But Felicia… she wasn't happy about my affair, naturally." He looked down, turning the car around and starting back toward their house. "I'm sorry she took it out on you. I should have figured that out sooner. I…" His fist clenched over the wheel. "I'll talk to her later about divorcing."

She didn't reply. She didn't have a reply. She _couldn't_ reply.

Her whole existence had just ripped the family apart.

They pulled back into the driveway, both still silent.

"I will send you to Alice Academy next year. Your mother—your _real_ mother—went there." Her father sighed. "I'm sorry, Claire." He parked the car, pulling the key out of the ignition. "Please… please don't tell Matthew about this. It would break his heart."

_And my heart doesn't matter?_ she wondered, hopping out of the vehicle.

* * *

><p><strong>End Part One<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>And that is it for now. I plan on posting the next chapter soon, followed by Part Two of this and Jamie's Story. Then this will be over. And I'll die a little inside.<strong>

**Annnyway, I hope you enjoyed and got to know the characters a little better. **

**Sorry about the rather abrupt ending on Damiens. I wanted to keep writing it. A lot. Like, make Damien his own huge story. So I'll be writing an original story later with a character named Damien Rader because I can't resist it. Did I mention I also made a character in a different book I'm writing named Jamie Blackwell? Or Jaylen Swift? I can't help but love my characters a little too much I think…**


	35. I'm Sorry

** Anonymous 153 : I will be writing a Jamikan story because it seems a lot of people actually _approve_ of them. It'll be called Accidents Happen, and I have no idea when I'll be getting it up, but it will be done. The fandoms I write for on my other file are Warrior cats (a book series by Erin Hunter) and an old anime called Hamtaro.**

**And also, I think it was another anon that asked if my OCs would show up in Ghost Town/Wasteland. Some, yes. So far, Jamie will definitely, Damien might, Claire will be mentioned along with Jade every once in awhile.**

**And if anyone asked a question that I missed, ask it again, and my apologies. I love you guys, but my brain is a failure so… yeah. Also, do feel free to ask me anything, or message me, and if you're having home issues I am more than willing to listen—I suck at communicating the way I mean to, but I will try my best to be of support!**

* * *

><p>Mikan stepped back from the open door, swallowing hard.<p>

David gazed at her for a long moment before blushing and looking away. "Uh, hey, Mikan."

She swallowed again, painfully. "D-David… what are you doing here?" Fear pulsed through her veins as the multiple images flashed though her head, from the past and what could be the future.

He looked past her. "You should probably answer your phone," he mumbled, and Mikan heard the phone ringing behind her.

"I—uh—um…"

He sighed, wiping his hands over his face. "Mikan, I'm not here to hurt you. Can I just—can you come with me somewhere?" His face fell when she started shaking violently. "I told you I don't want to hurt you. Please believe me."

"Believe you?" she sputtered in shock. "Believe _you_? What have you done to earn my trust, David? Rape me?""

He winced, looking down at his feet. "U-um…"

The phone started ringing again.

She scowled at him darkly. "I'm answering the phone," she said, suddenly sounding a lot braver than she felt. Twisting around on her heel and almost falling down, she started towards the phone, scooped it up and held it to her ear. "What?" she snapped into it, but her voice was shaking again.

"_What?_" Jamie's voice mimicked. "_You sound like your pregnant again. How rude._" A pause. "_You're _not_ pregnant again, right?_"

"No," she answered shortly. "What is it?"

"_Your voice is shaking. Is something wrong? I thought I felt something off._"

"I'm fine."

"_Liar. I'm taking Yuuki and Kaori down now, so I just thought I'd tell you first._"

"Now isn't a good time, Jamie."

"_Well then I'm definitely coming down._"

"Jamie—''

"_Shut up. I'm coming down and finding out what is wrong with you _now."

"Fine," she sighed. "Bye."

She hung up before he could reply, turning to David again. "Okay, you said you wanted to bring me somewhere?" As much as she didn't want to go anywhere with him, she also wanted to face her fear.

And she didn't fancy seeing what Jamie would do to David's face.

He blinked stupidly a few times before running his hand through his hair. "Uh—yeah. I understand if you don't want to I just—"

"No, it's fine," she interrupted quickly. "Jamie's on his way here and he just lives down the street, so we should go _now_."

A flash of fear passed through his face. "Jamie? As in _Swift_? Yeah, okay, quickly then."

Mikan slid her shoes on, feeling oddly calm as she followed David down the driveway to his car, plopping into the passenger seat blankly.

In the back of her mind, she knew she should be thinking of Kei being left home alone, not even a year old; of Natsume, who would probably strangle her next time she saw him—if she did. And of Jamie, who was heading to her house, and would probably scream in her face for not being there.

As if on cue, her cell phone buzzed as her and David rounded a corner of a street Mikan didn't recognize, turning down a dirt road. She fought down her panic as she didn't see any houses, but David simply stopped the car as they came to the end of the road.

She had to stop herself from gaping at the beautiful scenery.

There were two abandoned farmhouses that looked hauntingly cool, a large forest stood behind a large pond full of ducks. A few stray cats milled around, some sending glares at the car, others ignoring, and a couple even came up to it curiously. On the other side of her was a large field that was full of high grass.

She blinked back into the real world when David opened his car door stepping out and motioning her out. Blinking again, she hopped out, reaching down to pet one of the cats as it wound around her leg to get her attention.

"Well, we're somewhere," she declared, sweeping her arms out before her.

His lip twitched but he didn't smile. "Yeah." He sat on the hood of the car, looking up at the sky for a long, thoughtful moment. She leaned against the car door, bending to pick up a black and white cat and petting him absentmindedly. The other cat that she had petted moments ago clawed at her leg, annoyed at being ignored.

"I'm sorry," David finally said, not taking his eyes off the sky.

She blinked and looked at him, allowing the cat to leap out of her arms. The one that had failing to get her attention smacked the one she had let go, hissing. "You're sorry?"

"Yeah." He looked back to the earth slowly, then turned to her. "For what I did. For raping you, stalking you… for ruining your life."

She breathed out deeply. "David, you weren't the one that ruined my life – Kuonji was."

"I helped."

She shook her head. "The rape wasn't the hardest thing, David. And even if you hadn't done it, he would have hired someone else to. The thing that ruined me—that actually _broke me to pieces_—was that Kuonji killed my grandfather in front of me. And my mother." He stared at her with wide, horrified eyes. "And then, when I finally thought he was done, he killed—he _faked_ killing—my daughter Kaori." She blinked. "Kaori is your daughter too."

He paled slightly and started trembling, looking away from her again.

"And you have no reason to apologize anymore," she added, watching one of the cats jump onto the car and fall lazily onto its side, then proceed to slide down the smooth exterior and fall on the ground. It didn't move, seeming to not care much, but grunted loudly. "I love Kaori and Yuuki—your _other_ daughter – twins—and I stopped being upset about it along time ago. Really, this whole thing was quite pointless." She kicked at the ground thoughtfully. "And I should be apologizing to you, too."

"What?" He frowned at her, eyebrows furrowing.

"You have the fourth alice shape."

"Yeah, I know—wait, how do you know that?"

"I…" She paused, digging her heel into the ground. "I gave it to you." She glanced at him.

The thought seemed to be processing before he blinked and mumbled, "Hm."

"Hm? That's it?"

"Didn't you know? They found a pill that reduces the pain last year."

"So you won't die?" Despite herself, she felt relieved.

"No, I'll die," he said, shrugging. "But it won't hurt." Guilt washed through her, but before she could speak, he shook his head, continuing. "It's fine, Mikan. I have nothing to live for anyway. Every day I'm just living the same dream over and over again."

Her throat remained tight. She hadn't been the death of anyone for so long, and even though she had used to want David to die, she didn't anymore. He didn't deserve it. He was a confused, misguided person who had been through his own fair share of problems, and now she was going to be the cause of his death. If it was Kuonji, she'd be jumping for joy, because Kuonji, unlike David, _did_ deserve it.

Her phone buzzed loudly again.

"Excuse me, and I need to answer this to have Jamie yell at me." She sighed, clicking the talk button and preparing herself for—

"_MIKAN YOU BITCH WHERE ARE YOU!_"

"I told you it wasn't a good time."

"_I called less than ten minutes ago on your _home line_!_"

"Yep."

"_Where the fuck are you, Sakura?_

"Don't swear, Jamie. Yuuki and Kaori are with you, aren't they? And Jordan, too, probably." Gakuen Alice was on summer break, and Yuuki and Kaori were allowed to camp out with her and Natsume for a few weeks before they had to return.

Silence. Then: "_Shut up_."

"Exactly. I don't know the exact location of where I am."

"_You weren't kidnapped again, were you?_" Jamie asked in an unimpressed tone.

"No, I wasn't kidnapped again!" she snapped. "I—uh… I just don't know where I am, okay?"

"_No, not really. Is there someone who does know where you are? You left Kei by himself, you bitch._"

She paused, glancing unsurely at David. He was looking at her patiently, and when she locked eyes with him, he sighed, holding his hand out. "I'll tell him."

She put her hand over the phone. "Are you sure? He'll beat you up, you know."

He shrugged. "I deserve it, really."

She rolled her eyes. "Alright." She uncovered the phone. "Fine. Someone knows where I am. He'll give you directions. Don't go ape-shit."

"_Why would I—_"

She passed the phone to David without waiting.

"Hi," David said into the phone, face neutral. Pause. "It's David." Smartly, he pulled the phone away from his face right after saying it, and Mikan raised her eyebrows at the impressive threats erupting from her phone.

After a moment, Jamie was silent again, and David put it to his ear once more. "About done?" He pulled it away again just as more threats exploded.

Mikan snatched the phone from him, screaming into the phone, "JAMIE, I SAID DON'T GO APE-SHIT, YOU DUMBASS!"

Jamie yelled something back, but she was already giving the phone back to David.

"Will you listen yet?"

Mikan couldn't hear Jamie yelling, so she figured he had calmed down enough to talk.

David started telling him directions, occasionally looking frightened or irritated, which signaled that Jamie hadn't calmed down much.

"Alright, when you've taken all those turns you should be where we are," David said, kicking the dirt. "I'm hanging up." Pause. Annoyed look. "No, I'm not going to stay on the line. I think I've heard quite enough threats." Pause. "Yes, those were the real directions." Pause. "I don't _plan_ on touching Mikan."

Mikan took the phone from him, exasperated. "Jamie, it's me."

"_You stupid bitch,_" Jamie snarled in reply.

"Yell at me later."

"_Oh, I will. I can't _believe_ you! Are you insane? Going off with the guy that _raped_ you? For fucks sake, Mikan, use your brain! I would have been down in a couple of minutes, and we could've dealt with this together!_"

"Jamie, you 'dealing with it' would've been murder."

Jamie made a hissing noise.

"You know, driving and talking on a cell is illegal."

"_Like I really care right now._"

"I'll hang up so you don't get arrested."

"_Mikan if you—_"

She hung up, pocketing her phone, rolling her eyes. "So, what creative threats did you get?"

David blinked. "Well, one of them was pulling my intestines out and strangling me with them."

"Huh. That's pretty gross."

"He won't really do that, will he?" he asked, fear in his eyes.

Mikan shrugged as another car came zooming down the dirt road. "Guess we'll find out."

He paled slightly and she grinned.

The car came to a screeching halt, and in about two seconds flat, Jamie was out of the car and stalking threateningly towards David. "You stupid little shit. You're going to regret being born," he spat.

Mikan stepped forward quickly, pushing Jamie back as David cringed backward. "Jamie, calm down and listen for a second."

"Calm down?" he asked, looking at her blankly. "Mikan, are you stupid?"

"No!" she huffed. "Jamie, he only came here to _apologize to me_."

Jamie snorted. "A little too late for that, don't you think?"

She sighed irritably. "Jamie—I'm fine with it. I'm _over_ it. I let go of the past…" She paused, staring at him intently. "Maybe you should too."

He flinched, eyes widening. "I…" He stopped, looking dumbfounded.

Mikan glanced over her shoulder as one of the back doors opened on the car and Yuuki hopped out. "Mooom, Uncle Jamie swore—a lot!"

"Yuuki, get back in the car," she snapped simply, pointing at the car.

Yuuki rolled her eyes as Kaori hopped out too. "Uh, no. Jordan and Kei are crying their little eyes out. It's annoying."

"Well, gee, don't help them or anything!"

"I won't, thank you very much." Yuuki stepped forward, towards them while Kaori leaned against the car, waiting patiently. "Who's this? You aren't cheating on Daddy, are you?"

She spared David a quick glance. He was looking down, biting his thumbnail nervously. "No, I'm not cheating on Natsume," she said tiredly. "That's stupid."

"You're stupid," Yuuki mumbled.

"What do you think you are, a rebellious teen?" Mikan shouted. "In the car! Both of you! _Now!_"

At once, they both disappeared into the car.

Mikan growled loudly. "Alright, I'm tired of this shit. Jamie, kick David in the nuts and get it over with, okay? I'm going to the car." She glared at Jamie. "_I'm_ driving."

He didn't seem to hear her, glaring at David, who had his eyes shut tightly, awaiting pain.

"Whatever. You two are idiots. David, goodbye. I don't intend to ever see you again." She turned on her heel, striding quickly to Jamie's car and hopping into it.

Yuuki stared down at her lap.

"Yuuki, you suck," Mikan said simply. "Pass me Kei."

Obediently, she was handed Kei, who was sniffling. As soon as he was in her arms, he visibly relaxed.

She looked out the windshield in time to see David fall to the ground in pain. She passed Kei back to Yuuki.

Jamie, scowling darkly, stalked to the car, hopping into the passengers seat. "I am going to kill you for seeing him," he hissed instantly as Mikan started the car.

She started away, careful to not run over any of the cats. "Jamie, all he did was tell me he was sorry. Really, I don't even know why I let you kick his nards."

"I kicked his knee," he mumbled. "_Hard_. And just because he wanted to apologize doesn't change anything."

"Mommy, who was that?" Yuuki asked curiously.

There was a long silence in which she could feel everyone staring at her.

"That…" She paused unsurely. "That was your biological father."

"Biological?" Yuuki repeated blankly. She knew what the word meant, but it would take a minute to sink in.

"He was the one that raped you," Kaori whispered, staring down at Jordan with wide eyes. "And… you _talked_ to him?"

"Idiot," Jamie hissed.

"Yes, I talked to him," she said, ignoring Jamie. "And he apologized."

The car ride remained silent until she pulled up in front of her and Natsumes house.

"Can you two take Kei to his room, then walk Jordan back to Jades?"

They nodded, not speaking, and they all got out of the car, walking into the house. She went and sat on the couch, Jamie sitting beside her as the twins disappeared with the babies. After a moment, they were back and walking toward the door again.

"If you two could just stay over there awhile," Mikan called. "I'll call when you can come back, okay?"

They glanced first at her, then each other, before nodding in unison and walking out.

Jamie and her sat in silence.

And then finally, the barrier she had put up when she had seen David fell apart and she burst into tears.

Jamie sighed, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her flush against him. "Idiot," he said against her head. "You're such an idiot."

"I'm sorry," she whimpered, burying her face in his chest. She could feel his hands shaking against her back, and the fact that she'd scared him, too, made her sob harder. "I'm sorry, Jamie, I knew I shouldn't have gone, but I just—I don't know—needed closure or something," she sniffed loudly. "I'm so horrible for doing that to you. I'm sorry!" She broke into muffled wails.

Jamie rubbed her back, shushing her every few moments, but it was rather futile.

"Mikan, Natsume's going to be here soon," he whispered after a good hour of her crying her eyes out.

She snuffled.

"He's going to need to talk to you about what happened."

"I don't wanna," she coughed, sobbing again.

"Then you shouldn't have done something so stupid," he grumbled in reply. He sighed. "You really fucked up this time. You scared Yuuki, Kaori, me… and Natsume is going to divorce your sorry ass."

"No," she replied into his shoulder.

"Okay, no, probably not," he admitted. "But he won't be impressed."

"Who won't be impressed?"

Mikan jolted violently, sending herself to the floor.

"Well then, I'm out," Jamie said quickly, and Mikan sat up just in time to see the door slamming shut, Natsume in front of it with raised eyebrows.

"You were crying," he noted, walking toward her.

She wiped frantically at her face. "No I wasn't."

He leaned down, picked her up and set her back on the couch easily. "Alright, you're going to explain now." He sat beside her, staring at her patiently.

She sniffed again and scrubbed her nose. "N-no…"

"Mikan…" his voice was much more forceful.

She coughed violently, shaking her head.

"Mikan." He grabbed her face, twisting it so she was looking at him. "Tell me what happened _now_."

She dug her teeth into the side of her mouth. "David," she mumbled, jerking away from him.

Out of the corner of her eye, she could see a frown forming on Natsume's face as he tried to decipher the word she had spit out. His eyes suddenly widened. "David?" He tensed. "What about him?"

She buried her face in his chest. "David… was here."

"Here?" Fury started seeping into his voice. "Here as in our _house_?"

She nodded, wrapping her arms tightly around him, breathing returning to normal pace now that Natsume was with her.

_That's not fair._ Since when had it changed from Jamie to Natsume that calmed her more?

Natsume's arms went around her protectively. "When? What happened?"

She pulled away him so she could wipe her face clean of tears and snot. "Today." She held her sleeve over her nose. _Natsume doesn't like it when my boogers get on him_. What a baby, yeesh.

_Says the one who was just bawling her eyes out._

Bitch.

_Skank_.

You little son of a—

"Mikan!"

She blinked, her mental argument flittering away. Natsume was scowling down at her, impatience burning his eyes, teeth gnashing together with violent anger.

She swallowed the lump in her throat, blurting out the story to him with quick, panicked breaths. When it was over, she stared down at her lap, waiting to be scolded.

And scolded she was.

"You are _such an idiot!_"

She nodded understandingly.

"I can't _believe_ you'd actually go with him! Are you insane?"

She nodded again, receiving an exasperated look in return.

"Mikan, what were you thinking?" he asked, rubbing his temples in frustration.

"Nothing. I was scared."

"So you just _listened_?"

"I don't listen to anyone!" she denied quickly, scowling.

"Well apparently you do."

Her scowl deepened. "Nuh-uh!"

"Mikan, you aren't four. Grow up and face reality."

She hissed at him. "I'm _in_ reality! I wish I wasn't so I didn't have to feel so terrified about what just happened, but I _can't_!"

They sat in momentary silence, both digesting what had happened fully.

"Are you going to break up with me?" she blurted suddenly.

Natsume blinked, stunned. "Break up with you? Are you insane?" She nodded and he rolled his eyes. "No, I'm not going to break up with you. I'm used to putting up with your bullshit now."

She scowled at him. "You're a meanie."

"I think we've been over this before."

"_Meanie_."

"Get off my lap."

"Meanie."

"Mikan, _off. _You might—"

"MEANIE MEANIE MEANIE!"

As soon as the shrieks were out, Kei started crying in the other room.

"…Fuck."

"I tried to warn you."

"Shut _up_, Meowingtons."

* * *

><p>"I will never understand your need to make me suffer."<p>

"I _don't_ have a need to make you suffer."

"You set up a pool party. At my house."

"I didn't set it up—Arden did. I just said I didn't care." Jamie shrugged. "I didn't know that that meant he was going to actually set one up. He should have asked you, not me anyway. It's not like I live here!"

Mikan growled at him.

"Shut up and go put your swimsuit on."

Mikan sniffed, looking past Jamie's shoulder, out the window into her backyard. Many of her old classmates were out there.

Hotaru was making people get her food and drinks while Ruka sat beside her, looking amused. Both were in swimsuits. Ruka had his legs dangling into her pool, and Hotaru was sitting on a beach chair, lazily munching on some sort of crab snack.

Koko, Mochu and Kitsunme were having what appeared to be a splash-fight. Behind them, Sumire, Anna and Nonoko were shaking their heads, some—Nonoko and Anna—with amusement, others—Sumire—with disdain.

Mitsuki, Damien, Arden, Jade and Claire were out too. Mitsuki was either playing with Damien or drowning him; Jade was getting a piggyback ride from Arden; Claire was sitting at the side of the pool, just relaxing.

A few other familiar faces (Yuu, Tsubasa and Misaki with their daughter Naoko, Nobara, Wakako, Hayate (who was glaring at Ruka evilly) and Mikan was pretty sure she had seen Narumi skulking around at one point.)

She sighed. They looked like they were having fun out there, and she maybe sorta kinda did want to join them.

"Fine," she relented grudgingly.

"Thought so. Bring that lame-ass husband of yours with you, why don't you?" He turned and stalked out her backdoor, and Mikan watched as he went straight over to Claire, scooping her up and then dangling her threateningly over the deep-end of the pool while she squealed in protest and he laughed.

She rolled her eyes, trudging back to her and Natsume's bedroom. Natsume was sitting on their bed, a book in hand, and he glanced up casually as she walked in. "Let me guess—you caved?"

She scowled and plopped beside him. "Have I mentioned that Ruka looks good without a shirt? And Damien and Jamie too?"

Natsume simply pushed her off the bed.

She sat up on the floor, sniffing defiantly. "Come outside," she whined. "You're so boring. If you took your shirt off, I could add you to that list."

"I look fine with a shirt."

"You'd look better with it off."

"Are you asking me to undress?"

"Are you quoting _Divergent_?"

"I'm not going swimming."

She got to her feet, glaring at him as she started to dig through her drawers for a swimsuit. "You can at least come outside," she whined. "Kei loves it outside and he can play with Jordan." She sighed when she went unnoticed. "Don't be such a sourpuss, Natsume. It wouldn't kill you to just go outside." She fished out a golden bikini and waved it at him threateningly. "I'm going to be outside in _this_, where other guys are!"

He didn't even look up.

She huffed, walking over to the bathroom that connected to their bedroom and changing quickly, flinging her clothes into the corner to pick up later. When she walked out, Natsume was in the exact same position as before.

"C'mon," she whined, pulling the hem of his shirt lightly. "You're boring."

He sighed, irritation blooming on his face. _Finally_. "If I come out and read will you drop it?"

She nodded quickly.

He closed the book, keeping one finger on the page he was on. "Okay, fine. I'll come outside with you and watch over Kei, alright?"

She beamed.

"Stop acting so happy about something so trivial."

"But I'm me."

He stared at her, eyes blank as he got to his feet. "Happy is better than sad, I suppose."

She opened her mouth to reply but a knock at the door cut her off.

"Hey, aren't you done in there yet?" Jamie complained. "I'm coming in in five seconds so cover up anything I wouldn't want to see."

Mikan picked up a blanket and tossed it over Natsume.

Jamie opened the door and scowled. "You two were changing in the same room?" he asked, his protective older brother persona coming out.

"Oh, no, I changed in the bathroom and Natsume didn't change at all," she answered, pulling the blanket off Natsume and smiling at his glare. "You just said to cover anything you wouldn't want to see, and well… you don't generally like to see Natsume, do you?"

"…Touché."

Natsume glowered at her and she skittered to the door, grinning like a fool.

"You're such a child," Jamie scoffed. "So, are you ready to go swimming?"

"Yup!"

"Good." Without another word, he flung her over his shoulder and was walking out the door.

"What! Jamie, _no_!" She could already tell where this was going. "Jamie, put me down _now_!"

"I don't think so," he murmured and she could hear the laughter in his voice as his shoulders shook underneath her legs.

"Jamie, please?" she tried, squirming desperately. Alas, he was stronger and she just tired herself out. She would use an alice on him but she had told her uncle she would try not to use so many alices as it could hurt her physically.

"Nuh-uh," he said quietly.

The pool came into view. _Oh dear Jesus_.

"JAMIE LET ME DOWN NOW!"

He took her off his shoulder and held her over the water, as he had Claire.

"I love you?" she squeaked in a poor attempt to get him to spare her. She shrieked when his hands left her waist and she plummeted into the water, sending it rushing into her mouth and through her nose, straight to her lungs. She came up sputtering, water streaming from her nose.

Jamie was at the side of the pool giggling like a moron.

She gave him the most evil look she could muster while still choking. When his laughter ceased, he grinned at her goofily. Without a word, she flicked her wrist and a huge dragon made of water arose. _Screw my health._

Jamie eyed the creature unsurely for a long moment, probably debating whether or not he could turn it against her with his own alice. Before he could get the chance, she flicked her wrist again, and the dragon lunged at him at the exact same moment he turned and booked it across the lawn, only to be tackled into the grass and left drenched as the dragon fell apart around him, leaving a large puddle on her lawn.

"Ass," she said, dunking under the water and then arising shaking her head furiously to get the rest of the water out of her nose.

Some people applauded the show and Arden hooted with loud laughter, causing Jade to fall off his shoulders and into the water with a squeal.

Mikan climbed out of the pool, barely glancing at Jamie as she walked by his collapsed lump of a body, heading straight to the door, where Natsume was standing with Kei, looking amused.

"Why didn't you help me, you asshole!" she yelled.

He pointed at Kei and she scowled slightly. "No swearing, moron. And I didn't help you because I didn't feel like it."

She snatched Kei away from him. "Go away. I'm a single mother now—you aren't allowed in my or Kei's life."

He rolled his eyes. "Drama queen."

"Pack your bags and get out."

"You deserved it."

"I never want to see your face again."

"Mikan, I'm not leaving and we both know it."

"Fine." She blinked at him innocently. "Can you at least do a favor for me?"

"No."

_Screw my health_.

Scowling darkly, she flicked her wrist once more, and Natsume went flying into the pool, leaving laughter behind.

When his head popped out, he gave her a look that was probably twice as evil as hers and the water around him started boiling as his anger rose. Knowing he couldn't actually burn her (and he would never resort to physical violence), he just hissed, "I hate you" as he climbed out of the water.

"Drama queen," she said.

* * *

><p>Jordan, now just over three, toddled around on stubby legs and Mikan laughed. "He looks so ridiculous!"<p>

"Oh yeah?" Jade snapped. "Have you looked at your own kid, Sakura?"

She flicked her eyes to Kei, who looked equally ridiculous with his even stubbier legs. "Psh, Kei works it."

Jamie rolled his eyes. "They both look like toddlers toddling around on their weak, stubby little legs."

"When you have kids, you do realize that me and Jade have a lot of mocking to make up for, right?" Mikan questioned, facing him. "And speaking of, can you hurry up and knock Claire up, please? I need her to have a daughter so she and Kei can get married some day."

"Stop matchmaking babies—some of who don't exist."

"But Keizelle is my OTP."

"Keizelle?"

"You said that if you and Claire had a daughter you had already agreed on the name Jazzelle, right? Kei-zelle."

"Oh my God."

"That's cute," Jade agreed enthusiastically. "When Mitsuki and Damien have a kid I should ship Jordan with him!"

"Him?"

"Jordan will grow up to be gay." Jade nodded seriously.

"Oh…kay then."

"I can feel it in my bones."

"Maybe you should go to the doctor?"

"Meh. Are you going to have any more kids, Mikan?"

She choked on a laugh. "Go through that shit again?" She cast Natsume a small glance and he glared in response. "If I _do_ get pregnant again, Natsume is getting neutered."

He turned his attention elsewhere ignorantly.

"Wait—can you guys just stop and realize that you are creating the future of your children without even—" Jamie broke off and sighed, shaking his head. He got up, brushing off his knees. "Whatever, I can't handle you two anymore today. I'm heading back to my house—sanctuary."

Her and Jade made faces at each other behind his back.

"Oh," he added over his shoulder, "And what makes you think I'll let Kei get anywhere near my nonexistent daughter?" The door shut behind him before she could respond, so she made faces at the door instead.

"Oh my God," Jade gasped. "Jamie's already such a protective guy, he'll be like a overprotective mama bear if he has a daughter!"

"Wow, good thing I'm not in Kei's shoes. He's doomed."

"His shoes are tiny and unfashionable anyway."

* * *

><p>"Natsume?" Mikan rolled over in their bed until she was in his personal space.<p>

He looked at her.

"I think I'm pregnant again."

"…_Shit_."

She snorted. "So can we go to the doctor next week?"

"Yes, of course."

"Stop it."

A pause.

"I can see it in your eyes. Part of you hopes I am pregnant," she accused.

He shrugged. "Don't you kind of hope too?"

_Yes._ "No. It's painful as hell."

"Liar."

"Are you kidding me? It's fucking painful."

"I meant about not hoping and you know it."

Another pause.

"…I'll still neutering you if I am."

"I'd like to see you _try_."

"Immobilization alice, Meowingtons."

He flipped open a book, ignoring her comment, but she grinned when she saw the faint smile forming on his face.

* * *

><p>"<em>Hello?<em>"

"Yeah, Jamie, it's me."

"_Oh. That's disappointing._"

"Thanks."

"_No problem. What's up?_"

"I think I'm pregnant again. Just thought I'd let you know."

"…_You horny bitch._"

"Well, I'm not actually horny anymore technically because we already—"

There was a slam on the other end and then the dial tone.

She turned and grinned at Natsume. "Told you he'd hang up."

"Well with how the conversation was going, no shit."

"Oh be quiet and go get Kei. You promised we'd go to the park today." He opened his mouth, but she intercepted. "Don't even try to deny it. We're going to the park whether you like it or not."

He rolled his eyes, his face twisting in annoyance, but he turned and started towards the nursery nonetheless.

When he came back into view with Kei, she started speaking. "You know, if I _am_ pregnant, we're going to have to go on this really huge shopping trip to get all of the things we'll need."

"Why can't we just use hand-me-downs?"

"Because a: it could be a girl, and b: I like torturing you."

"Every day you give me a reason to wonder why I married you."

"Because you lurve me."

"Right."

"Do you know how many guys would love to be in your shoes?"

"Do you know how many girls would love to be in yours?"

"This is why we're perfect for each other."

"Yes, that's why."

"Stop being so darn sarcastic."

"I'll stop when you stop."

"Stop having an answer to everything!" She paused. "And don't say _I'll stop when you stop_ because I will kill you, Hyuuga."

"You're a Hyuuga too."

"WHAT DID I JUST SAY?"

"Crap, you _are_ pregnant."

"I don't _have_ to be a Hyuuga anymore," she threatened.

He rolled his eyes, opening the door so they were actually doing something productive while they argued. "You don't have the guts to leave me."

She walked out the door, sniffing. "I bet if I'm pregnant, I'll ask for howalons in the middle of the night again."

"You will on purpose, just to spite me."

She snatched Kei from him, beaming. "Mhm!" She balanced Kei on one side of her, reaching at Natsume with her other arm. "Hold my hand."

"Don't count on it."

"Hold. My. Hand."

"No."

"HOLD IT!"

"I said _no_, Polka-dots."

"You called me Polka-dots, now you have to."

"That doesn't make any sense."

She glanced around the street they were on, then grinned somewhat deviously, taking a step as though she were going to cross the road.

Immediately, Natsume grabbed her hand and pulled her back as a car zoomed by. "Are you insane?" he spat. "Look where you're going, you idiot!"

She grinned at him. "I made you hold my hand!" she yelled triumphantly, earning a few weird looks from passerby's.

He gave her an uncharacteristically stumped look. "You went out on the road, _with our child_, putting both of you in horrible danger, just so I would _hold your hand_?"

"Well, if you put it like that, you make me sound irresponsible."

He pinched the bridge of his nose, looking morbidly exasperated with her. "If I hold you stupid hand, will you stop putting yourself in danger on purpose?"

"Yup!"

He sighed loudly. "Every day you give me a reason to wonder why I married you."

"You said that already."

"I know."

"…You married me because you love me," she told him as if he didn't know. "And because I love you.

"…I know…"

"You're getting embarrassed," she accused, smiling in amusement.

"No matter what I say, you're probably going to yell something out to embarrass me further, aren't you?" he asked in defeat.

"Do I win today's war?"

"…Sure."

"Okay, I'll stop arguing with you now," she said happily. She paused and then corrected herself, "I'll stop _purposely_ arguing with you today."

"It's only just passed noon. I highly doubt you're done for today."

She shrugged as they reached the park. "I have to pee."

Natsume motioned to the restroom and she handed him Kei.

"Where should I look for you two?"

He shrugged and started away, leaving her to scowl after him for a moment before sniffing and trudging to the washrooms, trying to come up with some sort of revenge.

Alas, even as she walked back out of the public washroom, she still had no ideas that wouldn't put either of them in danger. She glanced around for her family lazily before starting toward the playground, where they probably were.

Amusement shot through her when she spotted them in the sandbox.

She wasn't sure what was more hilarious—seeing Natsume in a sandbox, or seeing Kei try so eat sand – failing only because every time he started lifting it to his mouth, Natsume would slap it out of his hand.

Kei glaring at his father was also a pretty hilarious sight.

She stepped forward, plopping herself down into the sand next to them. "Hullo."

Natsume glanced at her, then back to Kei just in time to smack sand out of his hand again. "I think our son has some issues."

"Naw, I used to eat sand when I was a kid."

"Shocking." He sent her a look that was half-exasperated, half-amused.

She pulled lightly on his pant leg.

"Stop trying to undress me in public."

She bit her lip to stop herself from laughing. "That's not what I was trying to do. Nice to know your mind is in the gutter, though."

"What is it?" he asked, frowning when she started tugging again.

"If I _am_ pregnant, do you hope it's a boy or a girl?"

He rolled his eyes. "Mikan, I'd be fine with either."

"But which would you _prefer_?"

"I don't _care_. Either."

"You have to care _some_. Which?"

"Mikan—"

"Which gender would you like?" she asked loudly, getting a few weird looks sent her way.

"I thought we were done arguing," he growled lowly.

She sighed through her nose, flopping backwards into the sand. "You're a meanie."

"Don't even start this again."

* * *

><p>"I'm bored."<p>

"That's your problem."

"I want to know if I'm pregnant."

"The results will be back soon enough."

"The pregnancy test said no."

"The doctor said maybe."

"I don't want to wait to find out though."

"Too bad."

"I'm bored."

"Hang out with Swift."

"He needs to knock Claire up."

"Tell him that."

"Okay!" Mikan chirped, darting to the phone as Natsume scowled, irritated by her randomness. She dialed Jamie's and Claire's number, pacing impatiently.

"_What is it?_" Jamie asked, sounding annoyed.

"Is Claire pregnant yet? Were you about to get her pregnant? You sound annoyed."

"_No, Claire isn't pregnant. No, I was not about to get her pregnant. I'm annoyed because I got suckered into watching Jordan for the day,_" he said, voice laced with impatience.

"Why not?" she whined. "Come on, Mitsuki's going to be pregnant before Claire!"

"_What the hell is the problem with that? She's with Damien after all._"

"BUT I WANT KEIZELLE!"

"_Oh for fu—dges sake. Claire isn't pregnant, stop asking._"

"Is it because you have a small dick?"

Natsume smashed his fist into his forehead.

"…_What._"

"You _do_, don't you?" she said accusingly.

"_Goodbye._" The dial tone followed.

She redialed.

"_Leave me alone,_" Jamie snapped.

"How many inches?"

Dial tone.

Natsume smacked the back of her head.

* * *

><p>"I'm bored."<p>

"Mikan, five more days, tops. Shut up."

"But I'm _bored._"

"Call Swift." A look of horror swept across his face when he realized what he had done.

She grinned.

"Mikan, don't," he warned.

She snatched the phone, punching in Jamie's number.

"_Got the results yet?_" Jamie greeted.

"Got Claire pregnant yet?" she answered.

He went momentarily quiet. "_Mikan, if you called to tell me my dicks small, I'm not interested._"

"Is it though?"

"_Sorry, I haven't compared it to others,_" he spat, his voice impatient again.

Natsume tried to take the phone from her, but she pulled away from him, snarling.

"_Do you intend to keep doing this? I'll block your number._"

He wouldn't, and she did.

"Of course not," she lied innocently. "I'm just bored."

"_You have a kid. Here's an idea—bother him, not me._"

"But I already _know_ he has a small dick."

Dial tone.

* * *

><p>"Mikan, put the phone <em>down<em>."

"But I'm bored." Without waiting, she called Jamie again.

"_No,_" Jamie said and hung up.

* * *

><p>"You can go three days without knowing if you're pregnant, Mikan."<p>

"I'M BORED!" she screeched at him. She looked at the phone.

"Mikan, you've pestered him enough," Natsume said sternly.

"Hey, Natsume, remember that time Jamie made fun of us in front of hundreds of people?"

He didn't reply and she grabbed the phone.

"_Will you _stop_?_" Jamie snarled. "_Claire isn't pregnant, and I'm not going to talk about genitalia._"

"Big words from someone with a small dick."

Dial tone.

* * *

><p>"<em>Mikan, I swear to God I will fucking—<em>"

"Calm your empty pants, Jamie, this isn't about you."

"_And yet you still managed to make a joke._"

"The results came back."

"_Does this mean you'll stop bothering me?_"

"Negative."

"_Negative as in the results, or you won't stop bothering me?_"

"The results."

"_Well congrats. Or not. I don't know._"

"Me neither actually."

"Well whatever. Is there anything else you need?"

"Oh yeah. I read that book you suggested."

"_The Fault in Our Stars?_"

"Fuck you in the ass."

He laughed.

"You could have told me it would have ripped out my heart!" she yelled. "And every other organ, intestine, blood vessel, bone! I think my soul _died_!"

"_It wasn't _that_ bad, c'mon._"

"I cried for three hours. At least."

"_Serves you right,_" Jamie said smugly.

"I told Anya to eat your toe."

"_Oh, fuck you._"

"Has she yet?"

"_No._"

"Is Claire pregnant yet?"

"_No._"

"I should have told Anya to bite your dick in half. Then I'd _know_ it was small!"

"_And then Keizelle would never happen._"

"…You win this round, Swift."

She let him hear the dial tone this time.

* * *

><p>"Sooo?" Mikan pulled Natsume's pant leg.<p>

"Didn't I tell you to stop undressing me in public, woman?" he snapped.

"Mhmm! We're not really in public though."

"Someone else's house is public enough." He looked distastefully around Jamie's house.

She pouted at him. "I'm not undressing you anyway. Jade and Arden got married, not us." She glanced at Jamie, who was sprawled out on his couch. "Hey, Jame?"

He perked up slightly and rubbed tiredly at his eyes. "Why are you still here anyway? Go home."

"But Claire was going to make us hot chocolate."

Mitsuki grinned at Jamie. "Man, you were totally zoned out, huh?"

He turned and scowled at her. "My sister got married. I'm just thinking."

"About how they're going to have sex tonight?" Damien piped up.

Jamie glowered at him and Jade laughed. Arden, after a small moment, laughed rather nervously.

"Jade's going to have a second kid before Jazzelle is born," Mikan sighed.

"Uh, yeah," Jamie mumbled, twisting his finger around the hem of his shirt.

_Oh hell no._

"Jamie—" She broke off as Claire walked into the room with mugs of hot cocoa.

She passed them around slowly before settling down beside Jamie. "We haven't done this for awhile," she said quietly, blowing on her drink. "It's nice for all of us to hang out."

Mikan immediately perked up. "Oh yeah!" she said loudly, gaining everyone's attention. She reached into her back pocket and pulled out a rather crumpled card. "I found that old business card. Remember Blake?"

Jamie blinked. "Oh yeah," he said blankly.

"Well I gave the number a call—turns out he took his fathers place. He remembers us—poor guy was waiting for ages—and said we could record."

Everyone stared at her, awestruck.

"And you didn't think of telling this, oh, I don't know, _earlier_?" Damien snapped.

She scowled at him. "Anyway—should we do it? I told him I'd get back to him."

Arden and Jade both immediately yelled, "Hell yes!" in unison.

Mitsuki tilted her head thoughtfully while Damien shrugged. "I'm down with it."

Mitsuki bobbed her head. "Me too!"

Everyone turned to Claire and Jamie, who hadn't said anything.

"Well…" Jamie paused, grimacing. "That's…uh…"

"I knew it!" Mikan shrieked, pouncing at him and shaking him violently. "You little pig! How _dare_ you keep this a secret from me!"

He pushed her away, looking annoyed and faintly guilty. "How'd you…?"

"You didn't overreact when I brought up Jazzelle," she answered, and it seemed to click with everyone what they were talking about.

"Claire…?" Jade asked, eyes wide.

She stared at her mug, setting it on their table gently. "We only found out last week," she mumbled, rubbing her arm.

"Yes!" Mikan cheered. "Finally—Keizelle _will _happen!"

"About that…" Jamie ran his fingers through his hair.

"It's going to be a boy?" Mikan cried in dismay.

He and Claire shared a look. "No," he said after a moment. "They'll be girls."

_They._

There was a long moment of silence.

"You son of a bitch," Mikan hissed between her teeth and lunged at him.

He darted away, out of the room.

"I'll kill you!" she howled after him, giving chase.

"I was going to tell you!" he wailed, locking himself in the bathroom. "I just didn't know how!"

"HOW ABOUT, I DON'T KNOW, '_HEY MIKAN, I KNOCKED CLAIRE UP!_'" she yelled, slamming her shoulder into the door and clawing at it. "WHAT HAPPENED TO NO SECRETS, ASSMAT?!"

Damien walked out into the hall, grabbed her by the hair and dragged her back into the living room, her squealing angrily. "You're telling him off," he snapped, pushing her beside Natsume, "when you hadn't told us about a chance at recording?"

She cringed. "Uh—but—that is—"

"A valid point, Damien," Damien finished for her.

She scowled at him, then at Claire. "So what is it? Twins, triplets, what?"

"Twins," she whispered, watching her hot chocolate as if it were the most interesting thing in the world.

"How far along are you?" Jade piped up.

"Four months," Jamie said, standing in the doorway for a quick escape, if it was needed. "That's what the doctor said."

Everyone turned and looked at Claire stomach, and she folded her arms in front of her self-consciously.

"You don't look it," Mitsuki complimented cheerily.

Everyone started congratulating Claire, and Mikan walked back over to Jamie, who stepped back slightly.

"Good job," she said, keeping a straight face and patting his shoulder.

"Oh, shut up," he replied, rolling his eyes.

"Has she gotten to be a pain in the ass yet?"

"No more than usual," he answered, sending Claire an affectionate look despite his words.

"Hey wait," she said slowly, narrowing her eyes.

"What?"

"Four months? That's in the time-zone of when I was waiting for my results."

"So?"

"_So_ you said Claire wasn't pregnant then!"

"I only just fou—"

"YOU LIAR!" she shrieked, and just as abruptly as he had returned, Jamie had locked himself in the bathroom again.

* * *

><p>"You know what sucks?" Mitsuki asked.<p>

"Not you."

"Little too much info on you twos sex life, thanks," Mikan said, grimacing at Damien when he grinned wickedly.

"We're getting so old," Mitsuki moaned, ignoring them.

Mikan looked down at herself then back at Mitsuki, eyebrow raised. "Excuse me, we're in our twenties. I think we're fine."

"That's only for now."

"You're only saying that cause Claire's preggers," Jade waved off.

"No, I'm serious! Weren't we just like, sixteen?" Mitsuki yelled. "It's like someone is too lazy to write in what's been happening except for the good parts!"

Jamie shook his head at her. "You're crazy."

"Excuse you," Mitsuki said, scowling.

Claire shook her head at Mitsuki. "That's ridiculous. Times just flying by."

Mitsuki groaned. "Too fast! This will be over soon!"

"What'll be over soon?"

"I DON'T KNOW—I'M SO CONFUSED!" Mitsuki screamed.

"Calm down, even if we aren't real—and we _are_—then you'd be breaking the fourth wall. Do you really want to make the author _that_ person?" Jamie asked.

"I guess not…"

"You'd feel better if you got pregnant too," Jade reassured.

"Uh, doubtful," Mikan scoffed.

"I'm not going to be getting pregnant any time soon anyway," Mitsuki sighed.

"Damien run dry already?" Arden asked then shifted away from Damien when he got a disgusted look from him.

"Hardly," Mitsuki snorted, rolling around on the carpet.

"You'd know," Arden coughed.

"Wha—?" Mitsuki blinked, pausing her rolling. "You guys th—" She paused, then sat up, giving the group all a weird look. "We've never had sex, guys."

Everyone faced Damien expectantly.

"What?" he snapped, examining his fingernails nonchalantly. "You heard her."

They continued to stare at him.

"But…you're Damien," Mikan finally said.

He scowled at her. "Thanks for that. I hadn't noticed."

"I thought you lost your virginity at like, fourteen," Arden admitted.

"Surprisingly," Damien started icily, "I'm not as slutty as you all."

"Excuse you," Mitsuki said.

"Except you," Damien added with a roll of his eyes.

"But you're _Damien_!" Mikan said loudly.

"It's not that surprising, actually," Jamie mused after a moment. "Damien's been crazy about Mitsuki for a helluva long time." Damien scowled at him. "Oh, don't even. When we were eleven you practically stalked her." The scowl deepened threateningly. "Remember how every Valentines Day Mitsuki would get three acacias anonymously? Acacias mean secret love. Totally Damien."

Mitsuki laughed. "Yeah, but that was as obvious as how you sent Claire hers. Not to mention the flowers to freak Arden out about a stalker."

"That was you?" Arden shrieked at him.

"My bad," Jamie said dryly. "And I never freakin' denied sending Claire flowers, did I?"

"I didn't either," Damien snapped, looking annoyed.

"Yeah, you called me a bitch," Jamie grumbled.

"You called me a bitch when I said you sent Claire flowers," Damien retorted.

Mikan plopped herself down next to Mitsuki on the floor, enjoying the show.

"I at least admitted it."

"No you didn't!"

"Oh right, you guys weren't there for that part."

"What?" Arden cut in, eyes growing wide. "You _told_ Claire? Man, that's practically confessing!"

"Should've kept my mouth shut," Jamie muttered.

Claire looked faintly amused.

"I'm interested in this story," Arden said leaning forward, a scowl planted on his face at his lack of knowledge.

"Nothing happened," Jamie defended. "I told her I sent her flowers, and then I ran like the bitch I was—oh wait no, we got together pretty soon after that, that's something I guess…"

"What are you talking about? You guys got together like a year after—" Arden stopped, staring at him murderously.

"…Oh right. You, uh, didn't know about that either…"

Mikan raised her eyebrows at him.

"You and Claire were having some sort of love affair behind our backs," Arden concluded.

"No, that…" Jamie broke awkwardly off into mumbles.

"That's why Claire got so pissy with you when she found out you kissed Mikan!" Arden realized. "You stupid fucker, you know how much I wanted you two together!"

"Which was probably why we never said anything to you," Jamie deadpanned.

"Well, what happened?" he demanded.

"It wasn't…" he sighed. "We—just—it… we were never actually together until Japan came into the picture."

Arden snorted. "I can't believe she forgave you for the Mikan kiss thing so quickly."

"I should have been mad longer," Claire agreed regretfully.

"You prick, you've kissed two different girls but she's only ever kissed you. We should go find a random guy for her to kiss."

Jamie's face was instantly dark. "Don't you fucking dare," he snarled at Arden so threateningly not even Mikan would have messed with him. He leaned back in his seat, jaw tight at the mere thought. "Besides, there was that one time with Scott—" He broke off, giving Claire a moody look.

"I didn't kiss Scott," she said exasperatedly. "He _tried_ to kiss me, and you broke his nose!"

"That was you?" Jade asked, laughing. "He said that he was protecting one of the younger students, but Jamie just—" she broke off into uncontrollable laughter.

"She was _my_ date to that dance," Jamie grumbled.

"Was that the one when I forced you two to go together?" Arden asked. "And then I trapped you, but Damien set off the trap and got splattered with paint?"

"I knew it was you!" Damien shouted at him.

Mitsuki leaned towards Mikan to whisper, "I wish we had popcorn."

She nodded in agreement. "Any idea what they're talking about?"

"Not really."

"Oh wait!" Mikan remembered abruptly. "I remember that now! I ran into Claire and Jamie when they were heading to the dance, and they were both practically dying of laughter."

"Damien getting splattered was a dream come true," Jamie sighed wistfully. "Wait, hold up. What the hell happened to this conversation?"

There was a pause.

"TIME'S PASSING SO QUICKLY!"

"Mitsuki just stop."

* * *

><p>"Alright, class dismissed." Mikan rolled her eyes while her students were looking, glad to be finished. She gave Yuuki a glare as she went by. "If you steal Kaori's cookies again, you're grounded," she threatened.<p>

Yuuki gave her an exasperated look. "Mom, I live in the academy—you can't ground me."

"You wanna bet?" she hissed back.

Yuuki faltered then scowled, stalking out of the classroom.

Kaori walked up. "I finished the homework early," she murmured, handing Mikan her papers.

Mikan ruffled her hair lightly. "Thanks, Rori," she murmured appreciatively. She reached into her desk and pulled out a baggie with cookies in it. "Here—make sure Yuuki doesn't steal these ones."

Kaori grinned. "Thanks."

"Don't eat them in front of the monkey," she warned.

"Only if I want her to steal them again." Kaori rolled her eyes, waved and trotted out.

Mikan watched as the rest of her class started filing out, then narrowed her eyes dangerously. "Oi, Yun, away from Mei," she snapped warningly.

Mei, one of her (bullied) students sent her a relieved look as Yun backed off.

When Yun was gone, she nodded. "Thanks, Yukihara-sensei."

Mikan stepped towards her. "Are you okay, Mei?"

"I'm fine," she answered quickly.

"Are all the teachers treating you well? My husband especially."

Her lips quirked up. "Hyuuga-sensei treats me fine, Yukihara-sensei. Better than a lot of his other students."

Mikan smiled faintly. "What about the students?"

Mei shifted her backpack around. "Um, they treat me relatively well."

Mikan backed towards her desk and pulled another bag out. "You know you can talk to me, right?" she asked, walking forward again.

Mei nodded at the floor.

Mikan held the bag out to her. "Here."

Mei blinked and took the bag slowly. "Lunch?" she whispered as though the word was foreign to her.

"You haven't been eating breakfast or lunch lately," Mikan replied, keeping her face and voice neutral.

Mei looked as though she were fighting off tears. "Th-thank you, Yukihara-sensei."

"Any time," she answered. "You should get to your next class."

Mei nodded shakily and Mikan smiled kindly down at her.

"Oh," she started again as Mei opened the classroom door. She paused, looking back with teary eyes. "I was serious about talking to me if you need to."

She nodded quickly, a tear escaping as she darted out.

Mikan frowned at the floor.

"As much as I'm sure the floor loves seeing your beautiful face, I'm sure I'd love to more."

Mikan jumped. "Natsume! How long have you been there?" she demanded, scurrying towards him.

He took her hand when she reached him, twisting their fingers together. "Long enough, I think."

She shuffled from foot to foot. "I was just, uh…"

"Being you," he finished, tugging her hand so she tumbled into him. "Trying to take care of everyone again?"

"Someone has to," she said defensively.

"The school is a safe place now, Mikan," he whispered. "Kuonji hasn't shown his face in years."

"I know, but that only worries me more," she sighed. "Besides, the school may be safe from him, but it isn't from other bullies."

He ran his fingers through her hair. "You're doing what you can, Mikan, and that's what matters."

"It's not enough," she disagreed. "What matters is that I help at least one person."

He pulled away from her and she looked at him unhappily. "I think you just did," he murmured, kissing the top of her head.

* * *

><p>"Hey, Jamie," Mikan said slowly into the phone, biting her lip.<p>

"_What?_"

"Guess what time it is!"

"_Leave Jamie alone time?_"

"IT'S TIME FOR ME TO MAKE FUN OF YOUR DICK!"

There was a long pause. "_Pregnancy scare?_"

"Yeah," she deadpanned.

He hung up, leaving her to catch up with the familiar dial tone.

* * *

><p>"If it's not polka-dotted lingerie, I'm not interested," Natsume said.<p>

Mikan gave him an unimpressed look. "No, still haven't gotten that. My bad. Maybe you should get me that for my birthday instead."

"If my birthday present is you being pregnant, I don't want it."

She continued to stare at him. "Actually, it isn't. I think. We have to go to the doctors to find out."

"When?"

"About right now."

He shot her an unimpressed look.

"Grab your car keys and let's go," she insisted.

"You made the appointment on my birthday."

"Yes. So now you can either get neutered on your birthday or…you can not."

He rolled his eyes but got to his feet. "Go grab Kei then."

She darted into Kei's room and scooped him into her arms. "Hey baby, ready for a possible sibling?"

He sniffled.

"That's what I thought!" she cheered, smiling at Natsume when he held the door open for her. She buckled him in the backseat and practically threw herself into the passengers seat. "Drive, drive, drive!" she declared pleasantly.

He rolled his eyes at her antics, pulling out much too slowly.

"Natsume, if someone was actually chasing us, we'd be goners."

"Good thing you're actually just crazy," he replied dryly.

"Who knows what's out there, waiting to get us?" she fired. "Rabid raccoons, police, Kuonji…"

"Rabid raccoons?"

"They're feisty little buggers, you know."

"I'm sure you could take them."

"Cause I'm a strong, independent woman?"

"Because no one's feistier than you."

"We should order pizza."

He opened his mouth then shut it and sighed.

"What?"

"I don't know how your brain can switch topics so abruptly."

"If I am pregnant, you are so doomed."

He shook his head exasperatedly and the trip remained quiet until they pulled into the doctor's office.

She snatched Kei from the backseat and darted into the building without waiting for Natsume, who walked in a moment later and barely glanced at her.

The receptionist looked at them. "Mr. and Mrs. Hyuuga?"

Mikan nodded. Natsume grabbed Kei and she started forward, jumping on the balls of her feet nervously.

The receptionist led them to a small room and motioned them in. "The doctor will be with you shortly."

Natsume sat in one of the chairs, balancing Kei on his lap, while she fidgeted with the magazines.

About twenty awkward minutes later, the doctor finally walked in.

_Finally!_ She wanted to scream. Instead she just sent Natsume an exasperated, _Shortly my ass_ look.

"You two are here for your pregnancy results," the doctor asked, shifting papers around distractedly.

Mikan nodded quickly. "Yup!"

He pushed a few papers aside until he found what he was looking for. A faint smile spread over his lips. "Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Hyuuga. You are pregnant, Mikan."

She went deathly quiet and Natsume swore under his breath.

The doctor stopped awkwardly.

Mikan turned to Natsume, keeping her face neutral. "Run, bitch."

* * *

><p><strong>Yes. That is the end. It ends with Mikan calling Natsume a bitch. Not many people can say they've done that. I think.<strong>

**Anyhow, I still need to finish the part twos of things. Jamie's Story might be broken into three parts, only because currently it's almost 90 pages long and. Well. Yeah.**

**Once more, I apologize for the delay. My mom and step-dad are finally splitting. Um. Also my whole house is falling apart. Well it was—we fixed it. My other two totally valid excuses are the new Pokemon game and also tumblr. Any of you have a tumblr? Cause if you do tell me your url in a review I want to stalk you in a friendly way of course. I'm bacterialcontamination.**

**Wow this note sounds totally unfriendly right now. I'm sorry, it's four in the morning, I cant be peppy, I cant even feel my fingers.**

**Just… thanks if you're actually still here. You guys are the best, and hopefully I can get more stuff up sooner than later. Have I said that before?**

**oh whoops did I break the fourth wall haha.  
><strong>

**Also uh… I cant remember… aw man, it's important so I have to remember….OH YEAH! This might have not been it actually, but, uh, it's something I was supposed to mention.**

**FFN is full of rules, yeah? Yeah.**

**So I made a wattpad account by the same name, yeah? Yeah.**

**And if I get banned from here, you can find me there, yeah? Yeah totally.**

**Anyway. Hey. Hi.**

**Sup?**

**Okay my brains functioning enough for me to cry. I'm so freaking sorry for not updating like I am actually trying not to cry I'm so awful ugh how do you put up with me rantrantselfhatredrantrant uhggg… SO HOW'VE YOU GUYS BEEN, EVERYTHING CHILL? Aw man I'm awful I'm so sorry**

**OH THE IMPORTANT THING I JUST REMEMBERED IT  
><strong>

**Kuonji didn't come in. Yup. That's in case I decide to make a sequel. Doubt I will, but there's a chance so... he is just MIA I guess.  
><strong>


	36. EXTRA: Jamie's Story: Part Two: Coward

**Songs:**

**She is the Sunlight – Trading Yesterday**

**Monsters – Sick Puppies**

**Untitled – Simple Plan**

* * *

><p>"<em><strong>And I'm so used to being a coward<br>It's all I've ever been  
>I quit before I win.<strong>_**"**

**-Mr. Owl Ate My Metal Worm – D.R.U.G.S.**

* * *

><p><strong>Part Two: Coward<strong>

* * *

><p><em>The car stopped in front of the old house, and a young man stepped out of it, followed by a young woman.<em>

_He blinked, shocked when he saw a few policemen hanging around by the door._

"_Excuse me," he started hesitantly. "What's going on here?"_

_One of them blinked at him. "Are you part of the family, sir?"_

"_I—" he stumbled over his words. "Yes. I—I went off awhile back. What's happening?"_

_The police glanced at each other. "Rumors gonna go around anyway, us telling this guy what happened won't change anything."_

_The other nodded, turning to him to explain. "There was some abuse going on in this family."_

_He stiffened in horror._

"_Seemed the father of the family had started drinking after an accident involving his oldest son. One of the kids – young one, he was, I think he mentioned his name was James or something – he came down, in some sort of state of shock." The policeman made a face of disgust. "He had seen his father rape his sister and he just… snapped. He came into the police station, eyes unfocused, stumbling – almost seemed drunk himself. He just blurted out everything that had happened. He, his sister and his mother got hit; the mother ran off a few months ago, leaving the kids to fend for themselves; father kept beating them, then got really drunk, thought his daughter was his wife, and he raped her. Kid didn't cry or anything. It was pretty creepy."_

_There was a choked sobbing noise beside him and a tug on his sleeve. "Jared. Oh my God, Jared."_

_He sucked in a deep breath to hold back any sobs. "Where are they? Jamie and Jade – where are they?"_

_The policeman glanced down at a notepad. "They went to Alice Academy, a school for gifted people just yesterday. The other kid went to a nearby adoption center."_

"_The other kid?" Jared echoed blankly. "What other kid?"_

_He glanced at the notepad again. "Jaylen Swift. About a year old." He clicked his tongue. "The boy put a pretty big list of demands up with her. We couldn't say no, really. Not to someone who went through that."_

_Jared nodded dumbly. "Can… can I go into the house, please?"_

_The policeman eyed him. "Son, I don't think by the look in your eyes that you're going to accept no as an answer." He moved aside, giving a look at the other one until he moved too._

"_Do you want me to come?" Melissa asked quietly beside him._

"_I—no. Just wait in the car please," he stuttered._

_She nodded understandingly and walked quickly back to the car while he turned and walked stiffly into the house._

_It looked the almost exactly the same, except there was a few things missing – naturally. His mother had ditched them, and the twins were gone._

_They were gone._

_Tears blurred his vision. He hadn't come quick enough, and now his brother and sister were gone._

_Numbly, he started towards Jade's room. He peeked in._

_Empty, besides for dusty furniture._

_He breathed in sharply and turned toward Jamie's room, practically running to it._

_Empty._

No, no, no_…_

_He backed away from it, eyes burning with tears, and started towards his old room. When he opened the door to it, he cried out in horror, almost turning and running from it._

_Written across the wall in sharpie were the lyrics to Backfire, the song he had played for Jamie. Eyes flickering across the room quickly, he read, "_Backfire, they backfire…" _in one spot, and in another, "_AndI can't find a cure. Would it fix me anymore?"

"Get me out of this God forsaken city, let me start over somewhere new…"

"If I could leave this town forever, it seems like no one's on my side."

_Across the ceiling was written, "_Ask myself to please forgive me, all my innocence is gone."

_The wallpaper had rips through it, and it must have been ripped through with fingernails, because there was small splotches of blood in the rips; his mattress had slashes through it; the things that had been sitting on his dresser, bedside table and wardrobe had all been pushed to the ground._

_He stepped further into the room and blinked at the crunch under his shoe, glancing down._

_A picture frame._

_He blinked again, picking it up and turning it over to see the picture inside._

_It was one of him, Jamie, Jade and their parents, all looking happy, like there was nothing wrong with the world._

_His father's arm was wrapped around his mother's waist and she was smiling widely._

_Jade was standing at their feet, in a sundress, flashing the camera a peace sign._

_He was standing beside his parents, Jamie balanced on his shoulders, laughing joyously._

_Jared choked out a sob and ran from the room, but not before seeing written on the back of his old door in blood,_

'Take good care of my guitar, lil' bro. I'll find some way to get you when me and Mel have settled down somewhere.  
>Wait for me.'<p>

* * *

><p>Jamie stepped out of the limo, squinting at the sudden bright light in his eyes – the limo had had tinted windows.<p>

Jade hopped out after him, making a face at the sudden sun in her face. "Ugh. It's way too bright out."

Jamie nodded in agreement, scowling at the limo driver as he went to grab his suitcases.

"How come you have three suitcases and a guitar, but I only have two suitcases?" Jade complained.

"You only packed two, you twit," Jamie growled.

Jade pulled a face at him, grabbing her two bags as Jamie struggled with two and the guitar.

"At least I can carry all of mine," she taunted, sticking her tongue out.

Jamie ignored her, glancing around curiously. "Well, take a good look around, Jade. This is out new home for the next eight years." Jamie himself was awestruck by the huge academy.

There was four buildings. Jamie had been told that one would be for elementary students, one for middle school students, one for high school students and the main buildings, where they would teach classes and such. They would each be separated into different parts; one-star, two-star, three-star, special-star and no-star. He and Jade were going to be two stars.

"Come on," the limo driver grunted, grabbing Jamie's extra suitcase. "The principal is expecting you."

Jade stuck her tongue out at the back of the drivers head as he started ahead of them, then scrambled to keep up with him.

Jamie, rolling his eyes, followed.

Students that were loitering around stared at them as they walked past, eyes either curious or hostile.

One boy, a blond, bounced over to them, smiling. "You new students?" he asked curiously.

"No, we're just taking a tour," Jamie snapped sarcastically.

"Hmm," the boy hummed. "You seem quite moody about this. Were you forced to come here?"

"No," he hissed. "Anywhere's better than the place I came from."

The boy nodded, not asking any questions. "S'not a bad place. Here, that is. You get fed and money and uniforms. The teachers and principals are all nice, as are most of the students. My name's Arden, by the way. Arden Taylor."

Jamie was silent for a moment before finally saying, "Jamie Swift."

Arden looked amused. "Great pair we'll make. Our last names make Taylor Swift."

Jamie's lip twitched. "Gross."

"I agree." He looked ahead at Jade. "That your sister?"

Jamie nodded. "Twin sister - Jade."

He nodded thoughtfully. "She's pretty," he commented.

"Touch her and I'll kill you in your sleep."

Arden laughed, thinking he was joking, which, in fact, he was not. If anyone laid a finger on Jade without his consent, they would be brutally murdered.

"I'm not kidding. If you as much as lay a finger on her, I'll pummel you."

Now Arden looked slightly worried. "Okay. I can keep my hands to myself. Damien, however, you should keep an eye on. He likes the ladies."

"If anyone touches her, they'll die."

"You know, I'm starting to think you have a sister complex," Arden joked lightly.

"I don't want her to get hurt again," Jamie said simply. "Don't touch her. If you touch her, she could get hurt. And if she gets hurt, you get hurt."

Arden nodded as if this conversation made perfect sense. "Alright. I can keep my hands to myself," he repeated. He glanced at the guitar Jamie was still carrying. "You play?"

"Not really."

He looked confused. "Then why do you have a guitar?"

"It was my brothers. He told me if something happened to him, I could have it. Now he's dead, so it's mine."

"Oh… I'm sorry for your loss."

"I don't want your fake sympathy," Jamie snapped.

He blinked, looking shocked. "No. I'm really sorry – my older brother died when I was five. I understand how it is."

Well, that was one way to make Jamie feel like a complete bastard. Here he was, knowing his brother was still alive and just saying he wasn't, when this guy had actually lost his brother.

"I understand the fake sympathy thing too. I remember some guy telling me he was sorry, but he said it in a tone that implied he was happy about it. I punched him in the face," he added proudly. "My brother was a drummer. I learned to play in his honor." As if to prove this, he pulled drumsticks out of his back pocket, twirling one of them skillfully through his fingers. "He taught me how to do this. It's not as hard as it looks."

"It doesn't look very hard."

"Oh." He paused. "Then it's harder than it looks."

Jamie snorted in amusement, and at this precise moment, there was a shriek of fury behind them.

"_Arden_! You bastard! I know you're the one that spilled soda on my backpack!"

Ahead of them, the driver and Jade stopped, turning around curiously.

Arden just smiled pleasantly, turning around at the same time Jamie did.

A blond, this time a girl, was standing there, holding a damp looking backpack, an infuriated scowl planted on her face.

Arden casually slung an arm around her. "This is my best friend, Fairy! Say hi, Fairy!"

"My name is Claire, you goddamn jackass!" she screamed. "My homework is ruined, as well as my school books _and_ one of my uniforms!"

"Meet our new students," Arden continued as if she hadn't spoken. "This handsome young man is Jamie Swift, and that over there is his lovely sister, Jade, whom I have yet to speak to. Did I mention Jamie really likes blondes? I'm sure you two will get along great!"

Jamie blinked. "I didn't say anything about blon—"

Arden shoved him into Claire, then turned and bolted away from them, calling over his shoulder, "See you later!"

"Arden!" Claire shrieked after him. She glared at Jamie, as if he was responsible for this. "I apologize for him. He wasn't disciplined as a child." She brushed her hair behind her ear before pushing her hand in front of him. "My name's Claire – _not_ Fairy. Arden's just… ugh."

"Um…" Jamie shook her hand awkwardly. "I'm Jamie Swift. Nice to meet you."

Her lip twitched with slight amusement. "Not exactly _nice_, under the circumstances." She glanced distastefully at her backpack. "Um, I'll see you later, I suppose." She paused, frowning at his hand. "What happened to your hand?"

He blinked and looked at his damaged hand and ruined fingernails. "Nothing."

She made a face before she waved awkwardly and took off in the direction Arden had disappeared.

Jamie blinked, walking up to Jade and the ever-nameless limo driver. "Well, that was different."

Jade nodded and Nameless, as Jamie would now refer to him as, continued into the building.

* * *

><p>"You two know each other?" Jamie's new homeroom-slash-music-slash-Japanese teacher, Ms. Utau (or, since she was Japanese, Utau-sensei) asked, raising an eyebrow, glancing between Arden and Jamie. When Arden nodded, she beamed. "Great! You can be Jamie's partner then, Arden."<p>

Arden made a bowing motion. "I'll take good care of him."

"I don't need taking care of," Jamie growled.

Arden just smiled goofily. "Course not. Let me show you around."

Jamie scowled. "No. And I'm not going anywhere without Jade."

"She can come," Arden added. "The more the merrier! We can bring Fairy, too."

"Why do you call her fairy?"

He shrugged. "Cause it sounds like Clary, which sounds like Claire. And it annoys her. Have I mentioned I like to annoy people?"

"I gathered as much."

He nodded with a mock-serious expression. "You catch on quick."

"Not really," Jamie replied. "It's obvious."

"Really? Huh. Well, let's go." Without waiting for a reply, he grabbed Jamie's arm and yanked him over to Claire. "We – yes, we mean's you as well, Fairy – are going to show the new students around!"

Claire eyed them sourly. "I don't think so."

"Aw, c'mon!" Arden instantly whined. "You two will get along great! You're both sourpusses… and Jamie likes blondes!"

Claire glared at Jamie.

"I never said anything about blondes," Jamie snapped irritably. "Stop spreading rumors, you idiot."

"So you _don't_ like blondes?" Arden asked.

Claire continued to glare.

"I don't _care,_" Jamie snapped. "It's a hair color. There's more important things in life than what girls look like."

Arden stared at him. "What kind of guy _are_ you? Have you hit puberty? Are you gay?"

"No, I am not gay!" Jamie spat. "I'm straight. And I prefer who a person _is_ over what they _look_ like. I don't plan on dating, anyway. All I care about is getting out of here with Jade."

"Ah, you're playing hard to get…" Arden mused.

Jamie sighed. "I'm not playing hard to get. I just don't care. The only girl in my life is going to be Jade."

"Sister complex," Arden said in a singsong-y voice.

He sighed again. "Just let go of me. I don't want you to show me around, I don't want to date anyone, and I _don't_ want friends. Let me _go_."

Arden blinked twice, looking morbidly shocked, letting go of Jamie's arm. "Why wouldn't you want friends? That's all you'll have at this school. There's no family, unless you're lucky enough to have a sibling with an alice – as it seems you have."

"I don't _need_ anyone in my family except my sister. I've never needed any of them, and I've never needed friends. Why should I need them now? I'm not going to change. I'm better off being alone." Somehow he had managed to quote Egypt Central again.

He didn't wait for a reply, just turned and walked out of the room, putting the headphones back over his ears.

He headed straight for the door, kicking it open angrily and stalking outside, scowling at the sunlight.

He started in a random direction when the headphones were pulled off of his head.

He turned, more than ready to lash out at Arden, but blinked when he saw Claire. "Can't you people take a hint? I _don't _want to talk to you."

"I just wanted to know what you meant back in the classroom," she said simply.

He scowled. "I meant that I don't want, nor do I need anybody."

She snorted. "I know that. What's the hidden meaning?"

His scowl deepened. "There isn't one. I need no one. It's that simple."

She stared at him silently for a long moment, before saying, "You made Arden sad. Maybe _you're_ not friends with him, but _I_ am. I don't like it when Arden's sad."

"Then go crawling back to comfort him," he sneered.

Her eyes flashed angrily. "When Arden was younger, his older brother died. You're not the only one with problems."

"My older brother died when I was young, too. Care to try again?"

"It was Arden's fault."

"It was my fault that my older brother died." Which wasn't a lie – if Jamie had spoken up, Jared would still be with him and their father wouldn't have done all those things. "Give up. That's not even the reason I'm like this. You wouldn't understand."

She was silent again, and he reached for his headphones, but she pulled them away from his outstretched hand. "My mother abused me."

He hoped she was disappointed that he didn't react. "And my father abused me. Give me my headphones and let me leave. I'm usually not low enough to hit a girl, but if you don't piss off, I will hit you."

She smirked, eyes flickering with pain, handing him the headphones. "You're abused and I'm abused, yet you're threatening to hit me." She turned and started away, tossing over her shoulder, "I guess we know what kind of person _you_ are."

* * *

><p>Alexandria spun her finger through her hair, smiling at him. "How are you today, Jamie?"<p>

Somehow he had gained a group of fan-girls over the last week. Arden had briefly explained that they liked his badass attitude and charming good looks, before he had turned away, and acted like he hadn't even spoken.

It appeared Jamie's 'badass attitude' had scared him away.

Yet these damn girls kept coming up to him.

"I'm fine. Leave me alone."

When she leaned closer to him, he shoved her away from him, and she stumbled backwards, bumping into one of their classmates, David, who scowled at her darkly.

"Watch it, you moron!" he spat, stalking down the aisle and flopping into his seat with a resigned sigh.

Rumors had been spreading about him. Apparently his parents had disowned him the day after Jamie and Jade had arrived, which explained the mood he always seemed to be in.

"Why'd you push me?" Alexandria cried, looking distressed. "I'm blonde! I heard you _liked_ blondes!"

In the seat to Jamie's left, Arden snorted.

"You could be a brunette and I still would have pushed you. I have no interest in you, or any other girl. Leave me alone."

But this, of course, only made the group of girls squeal in delight.

* * *

><p>Jamie sat on the rooftop of the elementary building, strumming his—Jared's—guitar.<p>

He had been getting secret lessons for guitar and singing from Utau for two of the three weeks he had been living at the academy.

He felt a pang in his chest.

Three weeks, and not a single letter had arrived about Jaylen.

Every day he was left to wonder about her.

It wasn't just him, though.

There was some sort of problem with getting the mail, and no one in the academy was getting any.

It was just his luck that this would happen when he arrived.

He took a deep breath, staring at the gray sky, before he glanced behind him to make sure no one was listening, and starting to strum again.

"_And if all the flowers faded away  
>And if all the storm clouds decided to stay<br>Then you would find me  
>Each hour the same<br>She is tomorrow  
>And I am today<em>

"'_Cause if right is leaving  
>I'd rather be wrong<br>She is the sunlight  
>The sun is gone…<em>

"_And if loving her is  
>Is heartache for me<br>And if holding her means  
>I have to bleed<br>Then I am the martyr  
>Love is to blame<br>She is the healing  
>And I am the pain<em>

"_She lives in a daydream  
>Where I don't belong<br>She is the sunlight  
>The sun is gone…<em>

"_And it will take  
>This life of regret<br>For my heart  
>To learn to forget<br>Tomorrow will be  
>As it always has been<br>And I will fall  
>To her again<br>For I know  
>I've come to close<em>

"_Cause if right is leaving  
>I'd rather be wrong<br>Cause she is the sunlight  
>And the sun is gone…<em>

"_Ladadadadada  
>Ladadada<br>Ladadadadadada  
>Ladadadadada<br>Ladadada_

"_Cause she is the sunlight  
>And the sun is gone…<em>"

He scowled when he finished, annoyed because he knew someone was behind him.

"Arden told me you didn't know how to play your guitar," a feminine voice said quietly.

"It's not my guitar," he replied automatically. "It's my brothers guitar. I didn't know how to play when I got here. I do now. What do you want, Claire?"

"The mail finally arrived."

His head jerked up to finally look at her.

Her eyes were carefully blank as she held three letters out to him. "These were for you. I thought it'd be safer if I took them over someone else – they'd peek."

Jamie eyed her, taking them. "You didn't peek at them?"

"No. I figure that it's none of my business."

He looked down at the letters distractedly. All of them were from the same address, and the envelope had a small mark on it from a stamp that signaled it was from an adoption center.

"Though I did look at the envelopes, because I had to know they were yours. Why is an adoption center sending you letters?"

He pretended to not hear her, even though the roof was quiet, so she'd know he had, and ripped into the first letter, pulling out the paper so fast it almost ripped.

It was simple.

Jaylen was fine, there was no need to worry.

She occasionally called for Jamie or Jade, sometimes even for their mother, but was otherwise quiet (with the exception of a soiled diaper or her being hungry).

A couple of people had looked at her with interest, but upon hearing Jamie's demands, had turned away.

In addition to the practically useless information, there was three pictures, which Jamie promptly snatched out of the envelope and stared at obsessively.

He blinked at Claire when he was done scanning them over. "Thanks for bringing me my mail. You can go now."

Claire's eyes narrowed. "That's it?"

Jamie nodded, putting the paper and photos back into the envelope. "I have nothing else to say." He started opening the second letter.

She sighed, and he heard her footsteps leading her away from him as he pulled the next letter from its envelope.

* * *

><p>Six months.<p>

It was hard for him to believe he had been at the academy for so long.

He had managed to somehow resist Arden and Claire's attempts at becoming friends.

He had managed to keep his fan-girls at a distance.

He had managed to become very good at his – _Jared's_, he reminded himself – guitar.

He had managed to complete five missions for the school, getting him ranked up into a special-star, along with Jade, because he refused to have her room away from his.

And now it was hard for him to believe that Jade's memories were resurfacing, all because Arden had said, "Jamie mentioned you guys had an older brother."

Jade blinked, looking confused, and echoed, "Older brother?"

Arden also blinked in confusion. "Yeah – an older brother. That's where his guitar came from, right? You're older brother died…?"

Jade frowned, putting pieces together in her head.

Jamie rushed toward them, snapping, "You don't know what you're talking," at Arden.

Jade's face was blank.

And it remained that way for several seconds, until the horror set in, and she whispered under her breath, "Jared."

Arden looked at Jamie helplessly, not knowing what he had done.

Claire, who had been watching the exchange silently, looked around worriedly.

Jamie waited for the connections to be made.

This had only happened one other time, a few hours after she had repressed the memories, when Jamie, not knowing what exactly had happened to her, had mentioned Jaylen. Jade had screamed in terror and locked herself in the bathroom. The shower had run for two hours before Jade finally emerged, looking happy, having repressed everything again.

And just like the first time, Jade opened her mouth to scream.

But Jamie lunged toward her, pressing his hand tightly over her mouth and shoving her backwards into the wall.

A muffled cry escaped her lips, and she slid to the floor, Jamie still pinning her to the wall.

Behind him he could hear Arden and Claire demanding to know what was going on, but he ignored them, waiting as Jade's sobs stopped, and her face blanked again.

After a moment, he let her go, and she sat up, looking confused. "Why am I on the floor?"

He stood back up, helping her to her feet. "You were talking to these two when you tripped and hit your head. You should probably go sit down for a while."

She nodded blankly. "Sorry for worrying you. I'll go lie down." She frowned, looking slightly embarrassed and still very confused, and walked down the hallway, toward the door.

"What the hell was _that_?" Arden snapped when she was gone.

Jamie gave him an icy look, and he flinched, sudden courage dissipated. "My life doesn't concern you, and neither does Jade's – _never_ bring up our past with her again." He shoved past them without waiting for a reply, heading for the door.

He heard them whispering behind him, wondering if they should follow him and continue to question him, but when the door shut behind him, he ran towards the special-star rooms, which were their own buildings so the special students could have more privacy. Fortunately, Damien was the only other special-star, so it was usually peaceful.

Jade must have gotten to her room quickly or decided not to lie down, because he never passed her when he got to his room.

At once, he grabbed the mp3 player off of his bedside table, jamming the earbuds in his ears and turning the volume up all the way. Out of natural reaction, he slid under his bed and pushed himself over to the side as far as he could, so he was pressed against the wall tightly.

He cursed the earbuds – which he had gotten when his headphones had broke – for not being louder, because he could hear his fathers screams, his mothers pleas, and Jade's sobs in his mind, and he could feel his own tears forming.

He could remember his father, eyes blazing with fury and pain, lashing out at their mother, screaming that it was her fault something like this would happen, because she let Jared date Melissa.

Melissa wasn't good enough, not for Jared.

Nobody deserved to be with Jared, and even though they had two other kids and a third on the way, they were all worthless unless Jared was there.

It was like something in him had snapped, and he didn't care about his family anymore. He hadn't even acknowledged Jaylen.

He wasn't sure how long he hid under there, probably a couple of hours, before his door opened, and two pairs of feet were in his doorway.

"_Somewhere inside this closet  
>Your whole life exists<br>An evil secret  
>That keeps you so nervous<em>

"_You're boarding up your windows  
>In fetal on the floor<br>But what you're keeping out  
>Is on the wrong side of the door<em>

"_I know the reason you're running scared  
>I met the monster inside you head<br>You'll never know the feeling of being alive  
>It's not enough, it never stops coming<br>It's not enough, so take a breath say goodbye._"

The feet moved around his room, searching for something. Him, maybe?

Over the music, he was able to hear Arden's voice. "He has to be in here. He isn't anywhere else."

"He's an idiot," Claire replied.

"He has problems," Arden corrected. "Do you even remember how you were when you came to the academy? You broke my nose because I said I liked your backpack."

"You said you liked my backpack right after you spilled apple juice on it." She paused and laughed lightly. "That was the fourth time that week you had done that."

Jamie pressed himself closer to the wall, if that was even possible. Why were they here? They weren't friends. He needed them to leave before he did something stupid.

"_Your skin is crawling on you  
>There's shadows on the ground<br>And now the room is spinning  
>Oh God, what was that sound?<em>

"_The fear is paralyzing  
>Trapped here inside yourself<br>Your will to live is dying  
>Is dying, you're dying<em>

"_I know the reason you're running scared  
>I met the monster inside your head<br>You'll never know the feeling of being yourself  
>It's not enough, it never stops coming<br>It's not enough, so take a breath say goodbye._"

He clutched the wire mesh that held his bed up tightly, breathing heavily but quietly.

They needed to leave.

"Have you found him yet?" Claire asked.

"No. Have you checked in the closet or under his bed?"

"Why would he be—never mind. I'll check the closet and the bed, you check his bathroom." she sighed, "It must be nice to have your own bathroom."

Arden chuckled. "I bet."

"_Say goodbye  
>You're dying now, dying now<em>."

_Get out, get out, get out!_ They needed to leave.

His fathers face flashed before his eyes.

He gasped for air, and Claire's feet, which had been leading to his closet, paused.

_No!_

Ice started forming on the floor, up the walls.

Claire made a sound of shock.

The windows shattered from the sudden cold.

Claire yelped, "Arden!"

He let go of the mesh, glancing blankly at his hands. Blood seeped between his fingers, reminding him of when he had ripped Jared's room apart. Had Jared ever come to find them? Had he come too late and seen what Jamie had done to his room? He hoped he had. He hoped Jared felt at least a bit of the pain they had went through when he left.

He curled his legs closer to his body so he was in the fetal position, listening to another thing made of glass burst apart. He pressed his palms against his closed eyes at the noise, remembering when he had accidentally knocked over one of his father's bottles of beer, sending it to the floor, where it shattered apart and alcohol had spread across the floor.

His father had beat him bloody and he had hid under Jared's bed.

"_I know the reason you're running scared  
>I met the monster inside your head<br>You'll never know the feeling of being alive  
>It's not enough, it never stops coming<br>It's not enough, so take a breath say goodbye._"

His bed levitated into the air and he could feel two pairs of eyes staring at him, but he didn't move out of the position he was in, just breathed hard between clenched teeth.

"What should we do?" one of them asked quietly.

He felt a hand touch his shoulder and jerked back violently.

"Don't touch me," he managed to hiss.

His hands were suddenly pulled away from his eyes, and he blinked them open to glare into Claire's familiar brown eyes.

"You're going to tell us whatever the hell you're problem is _now_," she demanded.

He yanked away from her. "I don't need to tell you anything!"

"Maybe you don't think you do," Arden started. "But if you don't, Jade could end up getting hurt. We can try to prevent that."

Jamie faltered slightly. He was right. Jade could end up getting hurt, and next time, Jamie might not be there to prevent anything from happening.

He sighed quietly, pretending not to notice the triumphant look on Arden's face. "I'll tell you what happened to Jade – not what happened to me, okay?"

The triumphant look fell slightly, but he grinned anyway. "Okay, sweet. Can you get rid of this ice, though? It's cold in here."

_Baby_, Jamie scoffed inwardly, but the ice melted into water, which floated in the air in a huge ball for a moment, before being flung out the window.

He glanced up at his still-floating bed and moved away from where it was supposed to be resting, motioning for Claire to set it back down, which she did quickly.

He sighed again. "Where do you want me to start with this?"

Arden plopped himself down on Jamie's bed casually. "How about when you think whatever-Jade's-problem-is started?"

Jamie's lip twitched, and he sat on the floor as Claire sat hesitantly on his bed beside Arden. "It started when my older brother, Jared, died. My father started drinking."

Arden nodded thoughtfully but Claire was silent.

"He got really bad, and after a few months he hit my mom. It progressed to me, then to Jade… after a few months, our mother disappeared, along with her things. She had left us with our dad…" He clenched his fists with fury and took in a deep breath.

"It continued like that for a long time – him drinking and me and Jade avoiding him. He—" Jamie choked on his words momentarily. "He'd bring girls home with him and—" he cut himself off again and cleared his throat awkwardly. "Well, you know. Then after a month or so, he came home without a girl and saw Jade…

"By then, Jade had… um… she had started… _developing_," he coughed embarrassedly. "She looked a lot like our mom, so when my dad saw her, he thought… that _she_ was Mom…" A note of hysteria made it's way into his voice. "He hit her, over and over and over again, and when I tried to help her, he hit me so hard I couldn't move." A choked noise escaped his throat as he remembered Jade's blue, identical to his own eyes pleading for him to help.

"I couldn't help her. I could just sit there and watched as he—" he couldn't say it. No words escaped his lips.

Then Claire whispered, "He raped her." She was shaking badly, biting her lip.

Arden's hand was clamped over his mouth, his eyes misted over with tears. He and Jade were suspiciously close, so of course he would be very affected by the new information.

Jamie nodded quietly. "She repressed everything. I told the police." He laughed humorlessly. "I like to think that me having to remember everything is my punishment for not helping her."

"You couldn't help her," Claire said quietly. "It's not your fault."

"Don't act like you know everything," Jamie spat. "That was only what she went through – you don't know what I've went through."

Claire stared at him expressionlessly for a moment before looking away.

"You know what you wanted to know – leave me alone now."

Arden opened his mouth to say something, coughed, and bolted out of the room quickly.

Claire looked at him blankly again before following Arden out the door, shutting it quietly behind her.

Jamie sighed, getting up and falling back down onto his bed, throwing his arm over his face tiredly.

* * *

><p>The next day, on his way to the classroom, Arden flung his arm casually around Jamie's shoulders. "Good morning, Jamie," he said simply.<p>

Jamie scowled at him. "Don't act all buddy-buddy with me. We're not friends."

Arden clicked his tongue. "Don't pretend we're not anymore. We've been friends since you moved here. Face it."

Jamie sighed, but didn't deny it.

Because as much as he hated to admit it, Arden was right.

Yesterday, he had let his barrier fall.

Today, he had friends.

* * *

><p>Arden stood in front of him, arms across his chest defiantly, though the smallest flicker of fear was in his eyes.<p>

"Jamie, I am going to ask Jade to be my girlfriend, even if you kill me in my sleep."

Jamie glanced up from his book uncaringly. "Hurt her and die." Was all he said.

Arden grinned in relief and zoomed across the classroom to Jade, wrapping his arms around her waist, whispering something into her ear.

Jade promptly turned red, grinned, nodded excitedly, and a second later, Arden was spinning her through the air.

* * *

><p>His heart pounded violently in his chest.<p>

Jaylen had been adopted.

Someone had finally adopted her, despite all of the conditions he put with her.

There was no name given with the letter, but the fact that someone had adopted her was enough to make him smile goofily.

He grabbed the second letter that had been addressed to him. He had at first ignored it, to busy with the adoption center letter to care, but this would be from who adopted her.

His eyes scanned over it, devouring every word.

Nothing useful. He sighed inwardly.

A husband and wife, no children – until now.

They had been thinking about adopting her for quite awhile.

They accepted the conditions and would send a letter every week and would include pictures as often as they could.

No name signed it.

* * *

><p>"Today we'll be making a cake!" the cooking teacher declared loudly. "Everyone, grab a partner and what you'll need and get to work. Recipe is up on the board. Don't"—he glared at the students—"crack eggs over each others heads this time."<p>

The students were instantly darting towards their wanted partners. Friends, buddies, and the few cooking alices were the first to get sought out among the crowd.

Jamie glanced around awkwardly. The only person he would even consider having as a partner was Claire, but she had the cooking alice and would probably have people pleading for her partnership.

She was the only person in his cooking class that he considered himself on relatively good terms with, so he settled on just standing there blankly while he waited for someone else that didn't have a partner to come up to him.

Instead, however, he blinked in surprise when Claire came up to him, head tilted curiously as she asked, "Want to be partners?"

He blinked at her, brain not really comprehending what she had asked. "But everyone wants to be your partner."

"They just want a good grade. Besides, according to Arden, we're friends now, so we mine as well get to know each other, right?"

Damn Arden. _For helping with my no partner issue?_ On second thought, good job, Arden. "I . . . guess so."

Claire nodded and walked off, leaving him there, confused, until she came back with two aprons, and a mixing bowl filled with the ingredients they'd be using. She passed him an apron silently, putting her own on, then started to take the things out of the bowl, organizing them to her liking.

"I'm assuming you've made chocolate cake before?" she asked, looking at him out of the corner of her eye.

He nodded.  
>"Good," she said, then started telling him what parts of the assignment he'd be doing. He made many mental notes, hoping he'd be able to remember everything, then they both set to work.<p>

"So," Claire started, glancing at him quickly, "what's your favorite color?"

He looked at her stupidly and she shrugged. "We have to start somewhere with this 'friendship.'"

"Beige," he answered, cracking an egg.

"Beige?" She sounded surprised. "That's . . . simple." _For lack of a better word_.

He nodded and shrugged. "It doesn't hurt to have a little simplicity in my life." Everything else was far too complicated for his liking. "What about you?"

"Purple," she answered quietly. Purple was pretty much the complete opposite of simple beige. "I like it cause it seems unique among the other colors." She sent him an awkward look. "The opposite of your reasoning about beige, I suppose."

He nodded curtly. Wonderful start to this so called _friendship_.

"Favorite season?"

"Winter." His ice alice made his body temperature lower than most, so he preferred cold over heat.

"Fall," she said, looking faintly relieved that summer wasn't her favorite. "Favorite book?"

"_The Perks of Being a Wallflower_." If she answered with _Twilight_, he was going to find a new partner.

Instead, she sent him a rather surprised look. "Mine too." She smiled faintly but turned away so he couldn't see it.

"Really?" he asked, surprised himself. "The way it was written made most of my classmates in my hometown not like it."

"Seriously? I thought it was cool reading a story formatted like that. Have you read _Go Ask Alice_?"

"The one about the drug addict?"

She looked rather pleased to have found a common interest with him. "Yeah. I think books written like that are amazing. Like letters and diaries. It makes them seem more . . . personal."

"Have you read _Thirteen Reasons Why_?" he asked, glad that the awkwardness had diminished.

She scoffed like he was an idiot for asking. Maybe he was. "Of course. That was an emotional roller coaster."

He fought back a smile. "Jade cried when I made her read it. Then told me I was a life ruiner."

She nodded, looking amused but still hiding her smile. "What's your favorite band? Or song?" She suddenly looked a lot more interested in him than she had at first. She had made it seem like a chore at first, but now she seemed genuinely interested in knowing him.

"_Sooner or Later_ by _Breaking Benjamin_ is my favorite song right now. I don't think I have a favorite band – too many to choose from. You?"

She still seemed happy, so he assumed he had said something right. "My favorite song is _Louder Than Thunder_ by _The Devil Wears Prada_. As for band . . . well, it's not really a band, but I've always liked Beethoven."

"Can you play _Louder Than Thunder_ on the piano?" he asked. Claire was practically a prodigy when it came to the piano, and if she liked the song, chances were she would know how to play it.

She continued to hide her smile and he struggled not to ask why. He knew why, it was the same reason he did it; distance. "Yes," she answered. "I'm surprised you know that that song can be played on the piano."

"Well duh."

She started mixing the cake batter and he was surprised they had already gotten that far. He had stopped paying attention to it when the conversation had picked up. "What I mean is that I'm surprised you know the song."

He shrugged. "Favorite food?" he asked, using his finger to scrape loose flour into a small pile on their table.

She tilted her head thoughtfully, her long hair nearly touching the dirty table in the process. "I'm not picky. I could eat sandwiches forever."

He wiped the pile of flour into his hand. "Me too." He flicked the flour at her, but she seemed to have been expecting it, and by simply pointing her finger at it, she sent out a small gust of wind, and the flour flew into his face.

He scowled at her and she didn't bother hiding her smile this time.

"Excuse me," he said sourly and turned to walk towards the classrooms sink.

"That's what happens," Claire said behind him.

He rinsed his face off, dried it, and scowled as he walked back towards Claire, grabbing a fistful of flour out of someone's open bag on his way.

"That was mean," he said to Claire, and, without waiting, pulled the back of her shirt out and dropped the flour down it.

She squealed quietly, whipping around to face him. "You-you just—"

He shrugged and opened his mouth, but at that precise moment, someone else yelled "FOOD FIGHT!" and then him and Claire were both ducking under their table.

Claire pressed herself into the side opposite of his, giving him a nasty look, then a confused one. "You felt the need to save our cake batter?"

"Defense," he said, looking at the bowl. "Also a snack." He dipped his finger into it and licked off the chocolate goo. "Want some?"

She rolled her eyes so he decided she didn't.

"Your loss, not mine." He shrugged and continued to eat their homework. Waste not, want not, and all of that.

Claire was giving him an odd look, as of she hadn't expected him to like raw cake batter. _Who the hell doesn't like cake batter?_

"What, you don't like cake batter?" he asked, rather annoyed by the look.

She flushed, looking embarrassed at being caught, and she fiddled with the hem of her shirt nervously. "No, it's not that... I just—haven't seen you, um..."

"Do normal people stuff?" he offered.

She winced. "No—I mean—"

"It's okay, Claire," he said, faintly amused. "I'm more than aware that I don't, well, do people things. This is something you'd probably expect to see Arden doing, not me."

She nodded awkwardly.

"Well, when it comes to cake batter, I'm like anyone else."

A bowl of batter splattered beside the table and they both winced before Claire started glaring at him.

"You dropped flour down my shirt," she hissed.

"Oh right."

She glared at him dangerously, probably waiting for some sort of apology or a hint of regret, but he gave none.

So she tipped the cake batter all over the front of his shirt.

He felt his jaw drop. "You just poured batter all over me!" he said incredulously.

"Yep," she agreed, arms crossing her chest defiantly.

The part of him that knew he was insanely popular wanted to say "Do you _know_ who I am?!" and he probably would've said that if he could've managed to stop gaping at her stupidly.

Without another word, she slipped out from under the table and headed towards the classroom door, managing to not get hit by any of the flying ingredients.

As she stepped out, one of the principals stepped in, red in the face. "Stop!" he shouted.

Students were instantly dropping their weapons and looking to the floor in shame.

Jamie rolled his eyes, sliding himself out from under the table. The principal, Mr.

Calen, barely glanced at him.

"Which one of you started this?" he demanded.

Everyone pointed immediately to the person who had first called "FOOD FIGHT!" and the boy cowered under the principals glare.

"Bradley, what do you have to say?" Mr. Calen growled. The look in his eyes implied he was already of thinking of a punishment.

Bradley, a ghostly white color, murmured, "W-well, I saw Jamie and Claire throwing flour at each other and I just…"

The students, principal, and the cringing cooking teacher all looked at him.

"Don't be ridiculous," Jamie said, keeping his gaze steady on Mr. Calen. "How immature."

It wasn't that he particularly wanted to be an asshole. It was that he had a reputation of being someone who didn't care, or play, or have friends. And with Claire, he had let his whole guard slip down and had started acting like who he remembered being before any of this had begun. And that scared him endlessly.

"I see." Mr. Calen looked back to Bradley, who looked mortified. "I saw Ms. Blackwell leaving when I stepped in. She didn't have a spot on her." He turned, saying over his shoulder, "Bradley, clean this room. When you're done, I'd like to see you in my office."

"Don't you think you're being a little harsh?" Jamie asked before he could stop himself.

"Are you saying you did do something, Mr. Swift?"

"I did nothing to encourage a food fight," he said calmly. That was true as far as he was concerned. Bradley didn't need to start something; he had chosen to. Just like Jamie was deciding to save his skinny arse. "But I didn't do anything to stop it either. None of us did. It seems unfair to blame one person when everyone's at fault."

"If you have a problem with my rules," Mr. Calen said slowly, "you can clean too."

Apparently he was the only one to have problems with the rules, because everyone except him and Bradley left.

"You lied," Bradley accused furiously. "I _saw_ you and Claire!"

Jamie sent him a cold glare. "Me and Claire fooling around wouldn't have anything to do with you regardless," he said coolly, starting to pick up scattered utensils. "You had a chance to ignore it, but instead you made a scene. If you had kept quiet, you wouldn't be in this situation." He held up his hand, shaking his head when Bradley looked like he was going to argue. "Look, I'm staying here to help you. So instead of putting yourself on my bad side, just clean before I ditch you to do it yourself."

His jaw clenched but he started to pick up utensils with Jamie.

The teacher put a bucket of water by him, muttering a "thanks for staying to clean" before scurrying out of the room to do who-knows-what.

When she was gone, Jamie turned and turned the tap on full blast, using his water alice to collect it into a huge ball. He swept the water through the class, collecting the dust and batter that had been carelessly tossed around.

"That's convenient," Bradley said sorrowfully, watching the water clean the room effortlessly.

"I suppose," he replied tiredly.

"When I heard there was a food fight, I was expecting a bigger mess than this."

"Go away, Arden."

Arden held his hands up innocently. "I just came to help, yeesh. Doesn't look like you need it though."

"Nope, so you can leave."

Instead, Arden eyed the large, brown stain on the front of his shirt. "Ouch. Who got you so bad?"

"Claire," he answered after a moments pause.

Arden laughed loudly. "And she tells me off when I spill juice on her backpack!" Jamie sent him a warning of a glare and Arden held his hands up again. "Hey, I'm just saying. I think you'll be good friends with her."

"Because she poured cake batter on me?" He raised his eyebrow.

"I became friends with her because I spilled juice on her bag, and look at us now! Friendly friends of friendliness."

"That's a stupid logic to go by."

"Hey, I didn't even get mad at her for having her bag where I was walking."

"How kind of you."

"I know right? It's part of my charm."

* * *

><p>Jamie watched his classmates wearily.<p>

A small group had formed, and they were trying to create an explosion. So far, none of their attempts had worked. Most of the class was ignoring them, but a small semi-circle had formed around the group, and were suggesting things.

"Hey," Arden murmured, standing beside him. "Me and Jade are gonna get out of here, you know, just in case they actually figure out how to explode something."

"I doubt they will," he replied dryly. He could've caused three explosions in the time they were trying to make one. He just wasn't as stupid as them.

"Alright, well, safety first."

Jamie sighed. "Yeah, I guess."

"See you later," Arden mumbled, stepping away from him, grabbing Jade's hand, and walking out of the classroom with her.

Jamie leaned back against the wall, closing his eyes and half-listening to his classmates, when his eyes popped open again. _Their new plan made sense._

Which would mean they would try it.

Which would mean the classroom would explode.

He jerked and started for the door before pausing. All of his other classmates would get hurt by this because they weren't paying attention to what was happening.

_Claire._

He turned around quickly, eyes widening.

She was standing at the other side of the room, a book in her hand, oblivious to what was about to happen.

"All right everybody," one of them said. "Get ready…"

Thinking quick, he lunged at Claire, pushing her tightly against the wall and shielding her body with his own, and forming a water barrier around the two of them.

At the same time, he put up ice walls around the rest of the students; they'd most likely break, but at least they would have a little protection.

"Jamie," Claire squeaked, blushing. "What are you—?"

He clamped his hands over her ears just as there was a loud banging from behind him, and pain erupted in his back and his ears rang.

He heard Claire cry out in shock, along with some of the other students, and as bits of charred wood and broken glass stopped flying against his back, he let the water barrier fall, sliding to the ground in pain.

"Jamie!" Claire yelped, leaning down on her knees. "Are you okay? Why did you do that, you idiot! You didn't need to protect me!"

"Are you okay?" he rasped, ignoring her fretting. "Did anything hit you?"

She looked stunned, and just as she opened her mouth to reply, she was shoved away.

"Jamie!" one of his female classmates was now leaning in front of him. He was pretty sure her name was Samantha, but he couldn't be positive. But he did know she was a fan-girl. "Are you alright? The nurses are already coming! Thank you so much for protecting us," she gushed. "Almost everybody got away with just a few scratches—you came out the worst of the injuries."

"Everyone's alright?"

She nodded frantically.

"What about Claire?"

She tossed an annoyed look at where Claire was. "Yes, yes, she's fine. Perfect—not one injury. You saved her," she said bitterly.

He ignored her annoyance. "You shouldn't have pushed her away from me," he grumbled, sitting up straight.

Samantha paled. "Oh my God, Jamie, your back! It's… it's _shredded_!" Before he could respond, she whipped around to Claire. "You! This is all _your_ fault! Just _look_ what you've done to Jamie's back!"

When Claire didn't move, Sam pushed her forward and Claire winced when she saw his back.

When tears started filling her eyes, Jamie glared at Sam. "Claire didn't do anything! I _chose_ to protect her and I _knew_ what would happen and I'd go through it all again if it meant she came out injury free!"

Sam turned away as the nurses arrived, and Claire sat beside him, biting her lip. "Jamie, you shouldn't have done that for me," she whispered.

"Is my back really that bad?" he asked dazedly.

She gnawed on her lower lip. "It's pretty bad."

He looked up as a nurse approached.

"Oh, Jamie," the nurse sighed. "What have you done now?"

He sniffed, insulted. "I just protected Claire," he told her. "And the rest of the class…" He glanced away from her awkwardly.

Charlotte was his personal nurse that took care of him after missions, so they knew each other pretty well.

"You're very stupid," she scolded, pulling him to his feet. She gazed behind him. "And that's your Claire, I suppose? Well, if she isn't horribly hurt, then she can help me get you to my office."

He didn't correct her "your Claire" because Clare hadn't seemed to notice it and he didn't want to draw attention to it.

Claire got to her feet immediately.

"I can walk myself," Jamie excused, but they both ignored him.

Charlotte started asking questions about what had happened, and Jamie answered them as they left the classroom.

About halfway to her office, he felt a wave of nausea. "I don't feel good," he moaned in hopes they would stop.

"Of course you don't," Charlotte snapped. "You've went and used up all your energy and strength protecting everyone."

He slumped down, eyes closing as sleepiness washed over him.

"Jamie?" Claire squeaked, sounding terrified.

"Relax, dear," Charlotte soothed. "He's just overworked. We'll just get him to my office and we'll heal him right up!"

He tried to open his eyes, his mouth, anything to reassure Claire he was indeed fine, but his body wouldn't cooperate with him.

"So," Charlotte started, "You must be pretty special if Jamie took all of that damage for you."

"N-no, I'm no one important. I was probably just the first he could reach or something…"

"No, no, no," Charlotte snapped. "He wouldn't take this injury for just anyone. Are you his girlfriend? He hasn't mentioned one to me, but…"

"No! We're… we're not even really friends."

"Nonsense," she continued, completely ignoring her. "Didn't you see that way he was looking at you in the classroom? He's completely head-over-heels for you!"

He heard a door open.

"Jamie doesn't care about me," Claire denied again.

"Okay, just help me set him down here…" Charlotte murmured, and he felt his body tilt onto a small cot. "You can keep on denying it, girly, but that won't change what happened. What do you think of him?"

"Huh?"

"What do you think of Jamie? Do _you_ like _him_?"

"What?" Claire spit out in a high-pitched voice. "_Me_ like _him_?"

"Yes, that's what I said."

"N-no! I mean, he's a good person, and I guess maybe a friend, so I like him like that, but—he's not—we're not—I don't…" Claire broke off into sputtering nonsense and Charlotte laughed.

"Oh my, you _do_ like him!"

"_What_? No-no-no, I just—"

"Don't even try, deary," Charlotte crowed.

"But I—"

"Will be quiet now?" Charlotte offered. "That would be lovely. Do you want to stay here with him? I have to head back to take care of some others."

Claire hesitated. "I… I guess. I never got to thank him properly. Will he be okay? I mean, his back…"

"He'll be fine," Charlotte reassured. "When I get back, I'll fix him up. For now, he used up all of his energy using his alices like that, and should rest."

"Alright," Claire whispered. "What should I do if he wakes up?"

"There's some painkillers over on the desk over there. Just give him two." A door shut and he heard Claire sigh, then a chair squeak.

"Idiot," Claire muttered, and he felt her grab his hand.

If he could control any of himself, he would've grinned.

* * *

><p>Her fingers glided across the piano keys gracefully.<p>

"_I open my eyes  
>I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light<br>I can't remember how  
>I can't remember why<br>I'm lying here tonight…_"

He bit his lip at her voice, hating how much pain it held.

"_And I can't stand the pain  
>And I can't make it go away<br>No, I can't stand the pain…_"

Beside him, Jade shifted, looking melancholy.

It pained him to know it was partially his fault the two girls were hurting.

"_How could this happen to me?  
>I've made my mistakes<br>I've got no where to run  
>The night goes on<br>As I'm fading away  
>I'm sick of this life<br>I just wanna scream  
>How could this happen to me?<em>"

For a second, her eyes flicked away from the keys and connected with his own.

_Helplessness, anguish, fear._

He blinked, surprised at the emotions she never showed.

Until now.

Her eyes went back to the piano.

"_Everybody's screaming  
>I try to make a sound but no one hears me<br>I'm slipping off the edge  
>I'm hanging by a thread<br>I wanna start this over again…_"

_Why now, though?_ He wondered, eyes following her fingers every move. Why not when she had arrived? Why wait to show emotions?

Of course, he could have asked himself the same thing.

"_So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered  
>And I can't explain what happened<br>And I can't erase the things that I've done  
>No, I can't…<em>"

Her hand flicked a strand of brunette hair behind her ear, before flying back down to hit the keys in time.

"_How could this happen to me?  
>I've made my mistakes<br>I've got no where to run  
>The night goes on<br>As I'm fading away  
>I'm sick of this life<br>I just wanna scream  
>How could this happen to me?<em>

"_I've made my mistakes  
>I've got no where to run<br>The night goes on  
>As I'm fading away<br>I'm sick of this life  
>I just wanna scream<br>How could this happen to me?_"

There was a long silence before Jamie finally cleared his throat. "_Simple Plan_'s a little… fifth grade, don't you think?" he asked lightly.

"No. They're one of the few bands that actually sing about what matters."

He bit his lip again. "I know."

Her brown eyes pierced him. "Do you?"

Oh God, had he been this intimidating to Arden and Claire?

"Um… yeah…" He paused and she didn't say anything, so he continued, "Why are you… talking?"

She raised an eyebrow. "Because I am capable of it."

"Err… right. But you've never talked to me before."

"You started this conversation."

This was incredibly awkward.

"Yeah, but I've tried lots of times to talk to you – but you've only replied this time."

She shrugged. "Do I require a reason?"

"…No. I guess not." _But it's weird that you ignored me for five months, _then_ started to talk to me… I guess._ "You have an amazing voice."

She nodded slowly, uncaringly.

Jade tugged on his shirt. "I need to get ready for my date with Arden."

He blinked. "Right I forgot about that…" He glanced once more at the girl. "I'll talk to you later… Mikan."

* * *

><p>"We should hang out later."<p>

Mikan glanced at him distastefully. "No we shouldn't."

His lip twitched in amusement. He could ask any other girl to hang out, and they'd jump at the chance, and Mikan had just turned him down, flat-out. Well, maybe Claire would too, but that wasn't really the point.

"We should," he said again.

"We shouldn't."

"C'mon," he whined. "We're friends now, right? So you _have_ to hang out with me. Broaden your horizons or whatever. Make friends!"

She narrowed her eyes at him.

He wiggled his fingers at her. "You know you want to. Besides, Arden and Claire like making new friends, and they love music, too. You'd get along with them… and Mitsuki, too. But she's sick today…"

She rolled her eyes. "Um, no. Thanks anyway."

"Um, yes. You're welcome anyway," he mocked, draping an arm across her shoulders.

The first time he had done that, she had jerked away violently, but now she didn't notice any more.

She scowled at him darkly.

"I'll take that as agreement!" he chirped. "Come on, I know where they are."

He pulled her along with him to the special-star dorms. Because of its lack of people, it was usually a good place to hang around.

Jade grinned when they approached.

Arden and Claire both looked at the arm that was slung around Mikan's shoulders, Arden smirking slyly and Claire frowning slightly.

"Well, well, well," Arden drawled. "Did you make a _friend_, Jamie?" He put meaningful emphasis on the word _friend_, but Jamie ignored it.

"Yes. Aren't you proud of me? Going out and making friends instead of slapping people when they try to get close to me?"

Arden scowled, clearly remembering when Jamie had literally slapped him – not hard – in attempt to get Arden away from him. "Quiet you." He grinned at Mikan. "I didn't know you two were friends."

Mikan shifted slightly. "Um… we haven't been friends for a long time…"

Jamie nodded. "Couple of weeks. We found out that our sarcasm and meanness connect well."

Arden smiled wider and shook his head. "You aren't mean, Jamie. And I doubt Mikan is either."

"Well, our sarcasm and humor at least. Very similar. Suspiciously similar. We were made to be best friends, I swear."

Arden eyed Jamie's arm again. "Friends, huh? That's a little couple-y for 'friends'."

Jamie rolled his eyes. "It's an arm, Arden."

He nodded. "An arm across her _shoulders._ Do you know what that means?"

"…It means I put my arm over her shoulders."

Arden wriggled his eyebrows suggestively and Claire pushed him over.

"They said that they're friends, doofus! Let it go."

Arden smirked at her. "Are you jealous because you missed your chance, Claire? I told you to snap him up before some other lovely lady came along."

She pushed him again, blushing.

Mikan looked amused, but Jamie rolled his eyes.

"You guys are such weirdo's."

* * *

><p>He leaned back against Mikan's bed, twisting the cold metal between his fingers carefully, waiting.<p>

He probably wasn't supposed to be in Mikan's room while she wasn't there, but he couldn't care less at the moment.

Snooping through her stuff was also something he probably shouldn't have done.

But he couldn't care less.

His eyes flickered up and away from what he was holding as her door opened and she stepped in, freezing at the sight of him.

"Jamie, what are you doing here?" she snapped, looking slightly nervous.

"Am I not allowed in here?" he asked, noticing how harsh his voice came out. He was mad at her, mad at himself for not noticing, mad at Kuonji for doing this to her.

But most of all, he was scared.

"What do you want?" she muttered, stepping into the room. Her eyes landed on his hand, which had curled into a fist around the item. "What are you holding?"

He narrowed his eyes at her. "Funny," he hissed, "I was going to ask you the same thing." He opened his hand, revealing a small razor blade.

She paled slightly, which didn't go unnoticed by him. "It's a blade."

He sat up straight and she hovered anxiously by her door, closing it softly. "Why do you have it, Mikan?"

She shrugged, apparently not knowing how to answer the question.

He got to his feet and stalked over to stand in front of her.

She stepped away from him slightly, moving towards her bed.

"Pull up your sleeves, Mikan," he said, taking a step closer to her, arms folded across his chest.

She backed away from him another step, arms folding behind her back protectively. "I have no reason to. Get out of here, Jamie."

"No," he snapped defiantly. He lurched forward, grabbing her arms and pushing her back against her bed.

She let out a cry of shock and fear, struggling violently against him as he pinned her down, reaching over her awkwardly to pull her sleeve up. A wave of despair swept through him at the sight, and he let go of her, standing up again, staring at her.

She tugged her sleeve back down, sniffing and trembling with fear.

Right.

Her fear of being touched.

He had probably almost given her a heart attack.

"Are you happy now?" she spat, moving back to lean against her wall, quivering.

"No." _Not at all._

She glared at him pathetically. "Just… just get out, Jamie."

"No." He stepped back toward her, plopping next to her on her bed. She scooted away from him slightly, and he stared at the ceiling thoughtfully. "Here, give me your arm," he commanded, reaching his hand out expectantly.

She glared at him, mentally debating whether or not she should, before obediently pushing her arm in front of him.

He pushed the blade in his pocket, taking out a pen in replacement, and scribbling quickly on her arm, before capping the pen and putting it back in his pocket, next to the razor.

She retracted her arm, frowning at it. "It's… your face… your face is on my arm."

He nodded. "Now if you cut yourself, you're also cutting me."

"That doesn't make sense."

"Sure it does. It's like the butterfly project – you draw a butterfly on you so you don't cut, and if you do, you're killing it. If you don't, and the butterfly fades, it lived and flew away."

"So your face is going to fly away?" she asked dryly.

"Now _that_ doesn't make sense. Don't worry," he waved off. "I have a plan. Meet me at Central Town tomorrow, okay?"

* * *

><p>"Good, you came," Jamie greeted, pulling Mikan over to him and starting to walk with her in tow.<p>

"I told you I would," she mumbled.

"Right. What's your favorite animal?"

She blinked. "What?"

"What is your favorite animal? Real or mythical."

She stared at him, dumbfounded, before finally answering, "Um. Dragons, I guess."

"Okay, cool. Dragons are pretty awesome," he replied, weaving through people absentmindedly.

"Yeah. Where are you taking me?"

"You'll see," he murmured, steering her to the left slightly. "We're almost there." After a few silent minutes, he stopped abruptly in front of a building.

Mikan bumped into him, then glanced at the building, eyes widening. "You want me to get a _tattoo_?"

He nodded, pulling her into the parlor. "A dragon one. You like dragons – they're your favorite. And it's not just any tattoo – it's an _alice tattoo_. Do you know what they are?"

She shook her head blankly.

"Well, alice tattoos are… tattoos that can come alive, as it may." At her curious look, he continued. "They can move, feel—it's like they're alive. Thus, if you cut again, you're hurting yourself, me, _and_ your soon-to-be pet dragon. See?"

She stared ahead blankly for a long moment. "Okay." She turned to him. "And what are you getting?"

He blinked. "Wait, what?"

"If I'm getting something, you are too."

"Um… how about when I'm eighteen?" he offered.

She glared at him. "Fine. But I'm holding you to it. And I get to pick what you get…" He opened his mouth to protest, but she quickly cut him off. "I know! You can get a tattoo of your choice, and snakebites!"

He stared at her, wide-eyed. "_Both?!_"

She nodded.

"That's not fair!"

"You're waiting until you're eighteen – it's completely fair."

"But—but I…!"

"You will get them," she finished for him. "Alright then, let's get me a dragon tattoo!"

"This is unfair!"

"Too bad."

"But—"

"It's either both of those, or a huge butterfly tattoo across your chest. Your choice."

He shut up.

* * *

><p>She woke up with a start.<p>

"You were screaming in your sleep," Jamie whispered. _Again._

She glanced around as if confused – she probably was, given that he had snuck into her room in the middle of the night.

She blinked twice. "Sorry for disturbing you."

"I wasn't asleep anyway," he brushed off. She said nothing, just sniffed. "Are you going to tell me what happened now?"

"I should, shouldn't I?" she choked. "But I can't find words to ever explain what I went through. There isn't any words that can describe the horror."

A chill ran down his spine. Even he had found words to describe what happened to him. What else had happened to her, besides rape?

She stared at the floor for a long moment. "I can show you."

That sounded a little creepy.

"What do you mean?"

"Time traveling alice…" she whispered.

He swallowed hard. If he agreed to this, he'd see her get raped. He didn't want that. He doubted he could handle it.

But if he said no, he would lose his chance, and maybe Mikan's friendship.

And he _knew_ he couldn't live without her.

"Okay," he choked.

* * *

><p>"That's what happened to you?" The words burst out of his mouth before he could stop them.<p>

"Yes." She glanced at him, then snapped, "Don't look at me like that! It's pity that got me here in the first place!"

He looked away from her. "Your past is worse than mine." Or maybe equally bad.

"What happened to you and Jade anyway?"

He frowned darkly. "I think we've had enough tragedy for one night."

"But you will tell me one day, right?" she asked. "I told… er, showed you mine."

He nodded dumbly. "But not tonight. When I'm ready, I'll tell you."

She nodded slowly. "I'm almost convinced that I'm dreaming, and that I'll wake up, and you won't know a thing…"

He pinched her arm automatically, and she squeaked in protest.

"No, you and me are both awake." But he wished this was a dream.

"Gee, thank you so much."

"You're welcome."

"I hate you."

"Love you too. Now… what?"

She shrugged.

"Well," he continued. "I don't feel safe with you sleeping by yourself." And he didn't.

At all.

"I haven't felt safe for a year and a half. Period."

He bit his lip nervously. "I'm spending the night with you. Is that okay?"

"Try anything and die."

His lip twitched slightly. "I wasn't planning on it. But now that you mention it…" he trailed off suggestively.

"Please stay with me," she whispered, looking down. "I don't think I can handle being alone anymore…"

"You got it." He glanced around. "Where can I sleep?"

"On the floor."

Seriously? The floor? She couldn't do any better than that? "…Is that all you've got?"

"No, I have this bed." What was she suggesting here? "But it's mine."

Oh.

"Well, move over. Like hell I'm sleeping on the floor," he grumbled.

She moved over slightly, and he crawled under the blanket with her, giving her a reassuring look.

"What, no glow-in-the-dark T-rex toys?" he joked lightly.

"You're so immature. Lay off the internet for awhile."

He had been on it a lot lately… "'Kay."

There was a moment of silence.

"…What happens if I scream in your ear in the middle of the night?"

"I'll scream back."

"Seriously."

"I'll wake you up, _then_ scream back."

"Better." Not really. "But not exactly what I was looking for."

"I'll comfort you," he sighed. "Better?"

"Very…" she trailed off uncertainly.

"What?"

"I wish we could leave," she whispered. "Just run away from all of our troubles, forget all of the bad things… be free."

A small smile spread across his face, and she blinked in surprise, having never seen him smile before. "One day," he started quietly. "I'll take you away from here. Away from all of the troubles that we've both faced." He looked at her, heart pounding. "I'll take you away from everything, and we can be happy together."

She smiled widely, and it was his turn to blink in shock. "I'm glad you're here with me… remember that even though I'm a jerk, I do love you."

The words made his head spin.

_I do love you._

He knew she didn't mean it in _that_ way, but he couldn't even remember the last time someone had said the words to him.

He bit his lip hard, realizing something.

He loved her too.

* * *

><p>"Jamie, Claire and I would like to express our concern for you," Arden started, flopping onto Jamie's bed lazily.<p>

Claire rolled her eyes, muttering, "You always drag me into things."

Jamie fell onto his couch. "Okay, what now?" he asked, folding his arms over his face tiredly.

"Why did you have a razor blade in your trash?" Arden asked quietly.

He felt his shoulders tense, but he coolly retorted, "Why did you search through my trash?"

He shrugged.

Right.

He was Arden.

This was normal behavior.

"Why does it matter? It's just a blade."

He shifted uncomfortably. "Well… why did you have it?"

So now he had a choice:

Tell them that he took it from Mikan, and have them worry about her, and invade her privacy.

Or have them think he was hurting himself.

"…Why didn't _you_ have it?" he responded stupidly.

"Jamie, I'm serious."

"Yeah, I am too. Why the hell were you going through my trash?"

"_Jamie_," Arden sighed exasperatedly. "Just answer the question."

He removed his arm from his face, sitting up and blinking at Arden. "Why does it matter?"

"Tell me."

Jamie opened his mouth, ready to let out some stupid story that made absolutely no sense, but his door burst open. "Jamie!" A singsong-y voice called.

He turned towards Mikan, masking his irritation. "Don't you know how to knock?"

She shook her head, smiling, and tackled him into an affectionate hug.

He blinked. "Um…?" he murmured questioningly, wrapping his arms around her.

"I just wanted to thank you," she explained, letting go of him. "For…" She glanced at Arden and Claire. "You know. Everything."

He nodded. "It's no problem. Happy to have helped."

"Just remember that when you turn eighteen—"

"Don't remind me," he groaned.

She laughed lightly. "It won't be that bad! You'll look totally awesome. Besides, it'll fit your badass image, right?"

"Just shut up."

Arden cleared his throat. "Sorry, Mikan, but I am trying to deal with Jamie right now, so if you could…" he trailed off awkwardly.

She raised a curious eyebrow. "Oh, and what did Jamie do this time?"

"Nothing," he answered quickly. "Just leave, Mikan." He had a feeling she wouldn't want them to know about her problem, and if she stayed, she would defend him.

"Uh, no," she replied, looking at Arden. "What's happening?"

He lifted up Mikan's old blade, and Mikan visibly paled. "I found _this_ in his trash."

Recovering, Mikan quickly grabbed it out of Arden's hand, examining it, then turned to Jamie, raising her eyebrows. "Isn't this mine?"

Arden's eyes widened and understanding passed through Claire's face.

"Yes," he answered simply. "I was wondering if you noticed."

She scowled at him, throwing the blade across the room, where it landed in his trash again. "You're lucky you convinced me to stop before you took it, otherwise I would have stabbed you."

He grinned. "But you wouldn't have had it to stab me with."

"Be quiet," she snapped. She turned to Arden. "It was mine – don't concern yourself about Jamie."

Arden floundered for words helplessly. "Oh—um—I wasn't—uh…"

Claire slapped her hand across his mouth, effectively shutting him up. "We'll go now."

Arden nodded, Claire's hand still over his mouth, and they left the room, leaving Mikan to sit next to him.

"Let's watch a movie."

* * *

><p>"Yuuki and Kaori," Mikan introduced, pointing to the two small cribs beside her bed.<p>

Jamie blinked, peering into them. "_Damn_ they are cute."

Mikan nodded. "I know. It's crazy."

_They aren't as cute as Jaylen_, he decided. "Are they going to live in here? Cause if they are, we'll have to find a different place to hang out."

Mikan shook her head. "Only for awhile. Then Kuonji's going to be getting some of the doctors to take care of them. Then they'll go to the small nursery."

Jamie blinked. "Nursery?"

"All of the academies have them," she told him. "But they aren't exactly a big hangout place. It's tucked away in the main building, usually. Of course, I'll be raising them. But I can't have them here. You know what people would say…"

He nodded. "Like there isn't enough rumors already."

"Exactly."

* * *

><p>"Sixx:A.M.."<p>

"One Direction."

"_Sixx:A.M.._"

"_One Direction._"

"_Sixx:A.M.!_"

"_One Direction!_"

"SIXX:A.M.!"

"ONE DIRECTION!"

Mikan glanced at Jamie. "What are they doing?"

He looked at Arden and Jade, who were having their weekly 'which band is better?' argument. "Fighting over which band is better."

Mikan blinked. "Sixx:A.M., obviously. How can you even begin to compare them?"

Jade whipped around to glare at her. "ONE DIRECTION, ONE DIRECTION, ONE DIRECTION!"

Jamie rolled his eyes. "Can't you just agree to disagree?"

"No!" Arden and Jade shouted at the same time.

Mitsuki sighed. "I'm going to go steal some of your food, Mikan."

Mikan nodded, motioning to the small kitchen in her huge room.

Jamie stared at the kitchen momentarily. "Spoiled brat. Why don't I get my own kitchen?"

Mikan ignored him.

Damien, who had decided he was going to hang out with them randomly one day, followed Mitsuki into Mikan's kitchen.

Mikan watched him with narrowed eyes. "I'm just going to pretend he _doesn't_ have an obvious crush on Mitsuki."

"What happened to that other girl? Ann, or whatever?"

Mikan shrugged. "Just another flavor of the week, I suppose."

"They never actually got together, though."

Another shrug.

"That reminds me," Claire suddenly said, blinking. "Some guy in the grade above us asked me out earlier."

Arden and Jade stopped fighting, looking over at her.

An unexpected wave of anger swept over him and red blurred his vision. He clenched his fists.

Mikan leaned forward, casting a small glance at him, then looking at Claire. "Who?"

Claire shrugged. "I don't actually know his name. It was really embarrassing."

"You said no then?" Jade asked.

"Of course I said no." Claire scowled. "I wouldn't agree to go on a date with someone if I didn't know their name."

"You wouldn't say yes anyway," Arden pointed out. "I mean, what with your huge crush on Jamie and all. Not to mention his huge crush on you. Did you see his face when you said that? Mortification."

"Shut up!" Claire snapped at the same time he spat, "You're being ridiculous!"

Arden smirked. "You're kidding me, right? It's so obvious it's disgusting. I mean, Jamie, grow some balls and ask her out already. I asked Jade out."

"I don't _want_ to ask Claire out," he said stiffly.

"Then ask Mikan out."

Jamie blinked. "Excuse me?"

"Well, it's one of the two of them, isn't it?"

Claire's ever-confident expression faltered slightly, and she looked at him.

Mikan laughed. "Me and _Jamie_? Come on, like _that_ would happen."

Arden looked at him. "Jamie?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Me and Mikan? No. I mean, we're close – _really_ close, and I love her a lot… but it's a brotherly love. Me and her would be like… incestuous. Besides," he added, grinning. "I think Mikan has _another_ guy occupying her thoughts."

Mikan turned red.

Jamie clicked his tongue. "Bingo! Yup, she's still into that guy from Japan. I'm not going to waste my time lusting over someone who wants someone else."

"So if there _wasn't_ another guy…?"

He shrugged. "It'd still feel wrong. Mikan's a lot of things to me, but a love interest is _not_ one of them."

"You've never even considered it?" Arden frowned.

"Well, of course I've thought about it," he scoffed. "It's hard not to when there's rumors about us sleeping together."

"That's not exactly an untrue rumor," Mikan pointed out and everyone looked at her with shocked eyes. "What? We sleep together nearly every night. _Sleep_ together. You know, in the same room, we sleep. You pervert's."

Jamie laughed. "It's true. You can tell by their facial expressions. You pervert's," he scolded.

Jade scowled. "You two sleep in the same room? Since when?"

Mikan shrugged. "Since forever. This started like, a year ago."

Claire glared at him and Arden burst out laughing. "Oh man, no wonder rumors spread about you two!"

Mikan shrugged. "It's worth it."

Arden gave them a suggestive look.

"Not like that, pervert," she added. "When Jamie's there, the nightmares go away."

"Mine too," Jamie piped in. "It's a lot easier to sleep when someone's near you."

Arden clutched at his chest as though heartbroken. "You could've asked _me_ to sleep with you, Jamie!" He grinned, winking. "I would've."

Everyone stared at him before bursting into laughter.

* * *

><p>"I think… I'm ready."<p>

Mikan looked at him curiously. "Ready…? To admit you like Claire?"

He scowled. "No. I mean my past. I'm ready to share it."

She jumped to her feet excitedly. "Really? Finally!" She pushed him over to her bed, where he flopped ungracefully onto it, and Mikan sat beside him.

He looked around awkwardly. More than anything, he wanted to tell her _everything_ that had happened. Even how Jared had faked his death.

But instead, he told the same version he had told Arden and Claire.

No mention of a fake-death, no mention of Jaylen.

When he finished, he waited patiently for her to think it over.

"But… Jade's so happy-go-lucky…" she murmured.

Oh right, repression. "Jade repressed her memories," he explained. "Sometimes if someone says a certain word, it triggers her memory, but soon after she forgets again. But when she does remember… it's pretty bad."

"So what words should I avoid?"

"…Dad, Mom, parents, rape, abuse… those kind of things."

She nodded. "No problem there, those are painful words for me too."

He nodded as well. "You can't tell anyone. The only people that know are Arden and Claire because they've seen her break down." _And they forced it out of me._

She was silent.

"I'll let you mull this over for awhile." He headed for her door, turning back to see if she'd reply.

She blinked up at him. "Jamie, I'm sorry that happened to you."

"No pity, Mikan. "That's _your_ rule."

She looked down, cursing quietly. "But thank you," she added, looking back up. "For sharing, I mean. It takes a lot of guts to do it, and I'm really happy you did." She smiled hugely and he blushed awkwardly. _Stop blushing_, he scolded himself inwardly. _That silly crush on Mikan is gone. It was barely even there, so stop it._

"W-whatever," he scoffed. "Go so sleep, idiot." He shut her door quickly and went to his room.

He grabbed his mp3 player and hid under his bed, hating the coward he had become.

* * *

><p>"I'm worried about Jade."<p>

Jamie blinked. "Why?"

Mikan crossed her arms, glancing around. "The last time I saw her was in Utau-sensei's class. Remember, she said she was going to tie Jade to train tracks… and then she threw a rubber duck at her when she laughed?"

Oh right. That had been an interesting class indeed.

"Yeah, so? There isn't any train tracks anywhere."

"This _is_ Utau we're talking about. She's an exception to the rules."

Jamie shrugged. "You want to go look for her?"

Mikan nodded.

Jamie sighed. "Alright, let's go."

Two hours later, they both collapsed in laughter when they found Jade tied to handmade train-tracks in the forest.

* * *

><p>If there was a book called <em>How to Stop a Wailing Girl<em>, Jamie would buy it.

Mikan was in front of him, shrieking her head off, and he could only sit there and hold her, trying to make out her words between sobs, hiccups and howls of anguish.

"It'll be okay," he whispered comfortingly, arms wrapped around her protectively. He was quite aware that Kaori's name had been the word to pop up more than any other, so he could only assume the worst—that _Kuonji _had gotten her.

If that was the case, then nothing would be okay, despite his words.

Not that anything was ever okay in his life.

Or Mikan's for that matter.

He ran his fingers through her hair nervously. He was _not_ allowed to think things like that. He had told himself a long time ago that he was going to try and let go of the past and keep moving forward.

Yet his memories and dark thoughts always resurfaced.

Mikan's cries cut down to small whimpers of fear and pain. "Jamie," she hiccupped. "She's g-gone…"

He bit his lip hard, tightening his hold on her intensely. "Who's gone, Mikan? Kaori?"

She nodded frantically against his chest, sniffling pathetically. "He k-k-k—" she broke off into sobs, pressing herself into his body.

He stared up at the light bulb on the ceiling, breathing deeply. When you stared at a light bulb it was supposed to help you not cry, right? Or was that sneeze…?

Deciding that those thoughts were completely inappropriate in the situation, he turned his gaze back to Mikan, who was trembling violently against his body. "We'll get through this, Mikan. I promise."

She remained still besides for the trembling, and he looked back up at the ceiling, eyes carefully avoiding the light bulb, lest he get distracted again.

Kaori was dead.

A beautiful, intelligent, brilliant six month old baby, gone. Just like that.

He sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly.

He hated to admit it, but Kaori and Yuuki were one of the biggest highlights in his life. And now on of them was gone.

Just like that.

He practically considered them his own.

It was like abandoning Jaylen all over again.

His chest ached at the loss, but he continued to look up, refusing to let tears fall.

Not in front of Mikan.

Not while she was in this state.

It would only panic her more, and that was the exact opposite of what needed doing.

"It'll be okay," he murmured again, bowing his head into her hair. He pulled her closer to him, and she curled up on his lap, arms around his waist tightly and head buried in the crook of his neck. "You'll be okay, Mikan."

He kept one arm locked around her waist, using his other hand to run his fingers through Mikan's hair calmingly.

She made a choked sobbing noise. "I sh-should h-have hel-lped h-her…"

"Just explain to me what happened," he whispered, pressing his lips against the top of her head.

She sniffed loudly, choked another sob out, and finally started. "K-Kuonji came and told me th-that if I didn't do what he said, this time I'd regret-t it." She sniffed again, breathing hard to try and calm herself slightly so she could talk properly. "I thought that it would just be like usual… hitting, yelling, things like th-that… but he took me to a r-room and Kaori was—she—" she coughed violently, blood flying out of her mouth in the process, and he stroked her back lightly.

"He had her tied up-p. I tried to go and help her, but he p-pulled me back and…" She paused to cough again. "He had people with h-him, and they tied me up and held me back. I tried to yell for y-you, but they gag-ged m-me." He squeezed her again lightly when she started to stutter harder, and she breathed hard a few times. "He told me that he was going to kill her," suddenly her voice was blank, "If I didn't do as he said, he would kill her. And I let him…" Her grip tightened on the back of his shirt. "Oh God, I _let_ him!"

She broke again and wail after wail started ripping out of her throat once more.

When they lowered back into whimpers, he pulled her tighter against him. "This—Everything will be okay, Mikan. I'm here for you."

She continued to use his shoulder as a tissue.

"Everything always works out in the end for those who deserve it," he murmured into her own shoulder. "Life's going to be perfect for you one day—nothing will ever be wrong again. And I'll be there with you every step of the way, okay?"

She whimpered lightly and he took that as an agreement.

He opened his mouth to say something more, but his door opened, revealing Arden, Claire, Mitsuki, Damien and Jade.

Jade and Mitsuki both blinked in surprise at the sight of Mikan on top of Jamie; Claire flinched and glanced around awkwardly; Damien cocked his head, smirking.

Arden raised a questioning eyebrow. "Uh, should we come back when you two aren't being so… intimate?"

Mikan promptly burst into another fit of sobs and Arden flinched, eyes widening.

"I-I just…" Arden's voice trailed off into mumbles that Jamie couldn't make out.

Mitsuki bolted forward, wrapping her arms around Mikan. "What happened, Mikan-chan?"

Mikan didn't move out of his grip at all, instead leaning further into him.

"Can you guys come back later?" Jamie asked quietly.

Arden nodded quickly, apparently not liking the idea of Mikan crying, and backed out of the room, tugging Jade with him; Damien grabbed Mitsuki's hand and pulled her away from Mikan, guiding her out; Claire slipped an envelope onto his bedside table, nodded at him silently, glanced worriedly at Mikan, then followed them out.

So they had come to drop off Jamie's mail and walked in on Jamie and Mikan entangled with each other.

He could see how that would be awkward and shocking.

He blinked, realizing Mikan had stopped crying, and glanced down at her.

He let out a small laugh.

She had fallen asleep.

* * *

><p>"Jamie…?"<p>

He opened his eyes, looking up into Claire's face. "Hey."

She sat beside him, looking around, looking slightly confused. "Why on earth are you sitting way out here?"

He looked around him tiredly. He had skipped most of his classes today, escaping out behind one of the small forests in the school grounds, onto a small hill that was usually empty. "It's Valentines day," he said simply. "I came out here to get away from the crazy girls." He smiled, raising an eyebrow at her. "Looks like one found me anyway."

She sent him a mock-angry glare, but was smiling. "You know, lots of girls are claiming to have gotten chocolate from you."

He rolled his eyes. "I gave chocolate to Jade, Mikan and Mitsuki." He paused. "And then Arden and Damien because they were staring at me."

She laughed slightly, leaning back beside him on the hill.

"Did anyone give _you_ chocolate?" he asked curiously.

Her smile faltered slightly as she shook her head. " I got some flowers, though. You know, the ones that get delivered anonymously."

He nodded, reaching into his pocket and taking out a small container. "Here," he said, holding it out to her.

She blinked twice. "Almond Roca?"

"I know you love it, Claire," he muttered, rolling his eyes. "And I don't blame you. It's good stuff."

She took it from him hesitantly. "Thanks."

He shrugged. "It isn't any trouble. Where are the flowers you got?"

She reached into her backpack, which had been tucked beside her, and produced a small bouquet and a single white rose. "Someone sent me a bouquet with random flowers," she said, sounding puzzled. "Someone else sent me a rose."

He smiled slightly. "Do you know what any of these flowers mean?"

She frowned, blinking. "Mean?"

He nodded, taking the bouquet. "Amaranth," he started, pointing to a simple purple flower, "Means immortal love."

He grinned when she blushed, then pointed to the next flower. "Arbutus means 'You're the only one I love.'"

She flushed deeper.

"Morning glory means love in vain." He paused, moving his finger along. "Moonflower means dreaming of love."

Claire stared at the flowers with a renewed interest. Before, she probably hadn't thought they had any meaning. Just a bunch of flowers. "Primrose means eternal love. Red roses, naturally, mean true love. Purple roses mean love at first sight. Daisies mean innocence, loyal love, purity, faith… and a couple of other things.

"Gorse means love in all seasons. Red tulips are a declaration of love. Yellow tulips mean hopeless love. Blue violets mean faithfulness. Creeping willow means forsaken love. Mallow is consumed by love." He paused, looking at the last flower. "Red carnations mean passion and deep, romantic love."

She continued to stare at the bouquet in shock. "Someone… sent that to _me_?"

He nodded, smiling faintly. "Do you want to know what a white rose means?"

She blinked, snapping out of her thoughts, looking at him again, nodding.

"Humility, silence, innocence, wistfulness, virtue, purity, secrecy, reverence." He paused, smiling in amusement. "And false love."

She frowned.

"The guy that sent this probably didn't know anything about flowers," he explained.

She nodded. "Someone else certainly did, though." She blinked, eyes narrowing suspiciously. "And so do you," she added, frowning at him curiously.

He shrugged. "I was bored." _And I also needed to know what kinds I should send to you._

"Right," she said hesitantly. "So you looked up _flowers_?"

He shrugged again. "I also might have sent someone some."

She winced slightly. "R-really? Who?"

"Well," he drawled. "I sent Mikan an asphodel—it means 'my regrets follow you to the grave.'" She frowned at this. "I sent Mitsuki a white lily—it means purity. Marigold means pain and grief, and I sent one of them to Jade. I sent Arden a red rose, just to freak him out when he finds out it's not from Jade." He grinned maniacally.

She shook her head, smiling slightly.

"I also made sure that every girl that wasn't going to get a flower, got at least one."

She blinked. "That's really nice of you."

He shrugged, looking down. "I didn't want anyone to feel bad about themselves. If I can make at least one person happy, then I'll be happy too."

She nodded, looking down at her feet as she stretched her legs.

"Oh, but don't feel left out, Claire," he said grinning. He pulled two flowers out of a small bag he had hidden under his arm. "Ta-dah!"

She blinked, looking surprised and almost relieved. "You… got me flowers?"

"Of course I did," he said, shaking his head, grinning. "An oxeye daisy and an acacia."

"What do they mean?" she asked curiously.

"Well…" He sat up and tucked the daisy behind her ear, causing her to blush madly and swat at him. "The oxeye means _patience_."

She sent him a dry look. "So, your patient about me? You put up with me?"

He grinned. "_No_, I'm willing to _wait_ for you."

Confusion swept across her face. "Wait for me? What does that mean?"

He stood up, twisting the acacia in his fingers, looking down at Claire's confused expression. "The acacia," he said slowly, dropping it on her chest and backing away from her with a shy, embarrassed smile. "Means secret love."

Quickly, he turned on his heel, grinning to himself, terrified to have actually just said that, and faintly amused as he recalled the expression on Claire's face.

"Oh, by the way," he called over his shoulder, picking up speed as he heard her scramble to her feet. "That bouquet is from me!"

Without waiting for a reply—mostly because he was scared of what it would be—he turned into the forest, winding through the trees and ignoring Claire's calls behind him.

And then he bumped into someone.

They fell back with an _Oof!_ then scrambled back up, looking murderous. Mikan blinked. "I found you!" she cheered, seeming to forget about falling. "Come with me!"

Without waiting, she grabbed his arm and transported them to her room, where there was flowers stacked around and the rest of the gang—minus Claire.

"We're sorting through all the flowers we got!" Mikan said happily. She pointed to where the biggest pile of flowers was. "Those are mine. The ones near Mitsuki are hers, the ones hear Arden are his, et cetera. We're going through the smallest pile first—Arden's!"

Arden frowned at her. "Did you have to say it out loud?" Four flowers lay on his lap.

Mikan laughed. "Well, whaddaya have, Arden?"

He showed two red roses, a begonia and a mallow. "This. That's it."

Jamie plopped beside him. "Red roses mean true love," he mentioned casually. "Did Jade send you those?"

Jade frowned suspiciously. "I only sent one."

Arden's look was hilariously mortified. "But there's two!"

Mikan and Mitsuki laughed.

"Mallow means consumed by love," he added, smirking.

Absolute terror.

"Begonia means beware." He grinned wickedly. "Do you have a stalker?"

"I-I-I…" Nothing.

"Onto Jade's pile!" Mikan shouted, interrupting the entertainment.

Jade looked down at her dozen and one flowers. "What do they mean, Jamie?"

He picked up the one red rose. "True love," he said again. "Three buttercups… they mean riches. Coreopsis means always cheerful—appropriate for you. Sunflower means pure and lofty thoughts. Marigold means pain and grief. I guess people just sent them at random."

"Mitsuki!" Mikan declared.

The bedroom door opened and Claire stepped in. "Hey, have you guys—" She stopped as her eyes landed on him, and awkwardly, he turned to Mitsuki's pile.

"Hey, Claire," Arden greeted. "We're just sorting through our flowers. Come join us!"

It was clear that she wanted to talk to just him, but she stepped in anyway. "Alright," she relented quietly.

"We're just looking at mine now," Mitsuki chirped. Eighteen flowers sat with her. "What do they mean, Flower Lord?"

Jamie raised his eyebrows. "Flower Lord?" She nodded. "Way to make me sound unmanly." He examined them as the others laughed. "Two elderflowers—they mean compassion. White lilies mean purity. Three daisies—innocence, purity, loyal love, cheer…" He raised his eyebrows. Three acacia's were tied together with a small bow. He whistled lowly. "Three acacias, huh?"

"What?" Mitsuki fired off instantly, while Claire blushed, looking down. "What do they mean?"

"They mean secret love," he explained, smirking. "Gee, wonder who sent them—Damien."

Damien promptly sent a lamp flying over Jamie's head, saying something that sounded suspiciously like, "Bitch."

"Anyway. Four baby's breath—innocence, pure of heart. Five red roses, true love."

They looked towards Damien's pile—the second biggest. "Don't touch mine," Damien snapped. "I don't care to know."

After a couple of comments about Damien negativity, they moved onto Mikan's. She promptly grabbed all of the flowers they had seen in the previous piles and moved them to the side. "Alright, Flower Slave, do your job."

"Flower Slave? Really?" He grabbed the first type he saw. "Arbutus—'you're the only one I love." Mikan collected all of the arbutuses out of the pile, adding them to the second one.

"Amaryllis—pride." Taken, removed, onto the next type. "Angrec—royalty." Repeat process. "Lichen—solitude. Lavender—devotion, distrust. Laurel—ambition, success. Jonquil—'return my affection.' Iris—good news. Arborvitae—everlasting friendship." He swallowed roughly. "Asphodel," he choked, "'My regrets follow you to the grave.'"

Mikan promptly removed it, not aware that it was the flower he had sent.

"White lilac—memories. Lobelia—malevolence. Lotus—chastity, eloquence. Magnolia—love of nature. Lily of the Valley—sweetness, trustworthy, humility." He paused as he looked at the next flower, then burst out laughing, earning him some weird looks. "Lime blossom—tilia, if you will—means fornication."

Mitsuki, who had been holding the said flower, stared at it for about four milliseconds before squeaking in disgust and tossing it away from her.

"Forget-me-not," he finished, "Means true love."

Mikan hummed slightly. "Impressive loot. What did you get, Jamie?"

He shrugged. "I hid from everyone. I got a few roses, but other than that, no one forced anything on me." Tiredly, he laid his head on the armrest, closing his eyes.

"Lucky you," Mikan commented dryly, looking at all of the flowers piled on her floor. "Well, what about you, Claire?" Mikan asked.

Claire blushed darkly. "U-uh, well, I got a few…"

Jade squealed. "Let's see, let's see!"

After a second of hesitation, Claire handed her backpack over, and immediately Mitsuki and Jade were pulling them out. Mitsuki looked at Claire. "What about that one behind your ear?"

Claire blinked and flushed. "O-oh, yeah, that one too," she mumbled, handing it to them.

Arden got up and walked over to look at the flowers, and Jamie stretched across the couch.

"Hey, Flower Slave, we need you over here," Mikan snapped.

"Mnehffgh," he replied intelligently.

Mikan snorted. "Get up, now is no time to sleep."

"That's what she said," he retorted.

He heard Mikan walking toward him, and then suddenly he was no longer on the couch, but on the floor.

He let out a small wail, throwing his arms over his face. "Why?"

"We need you to tell us the flowers," Mikan said, kicking his side lightly.

"Mmmfghljrp," he once again responded intelligently. "I've probably named all of them by now though!"

"Jamie these are the last flowers, then you can relax. We're stupid people who can't remember all of that shit."

He sat up, rubbing his face with his hands, and Mitsuki handed him the bouquet, which had the acacia added to it. "Immortal love from the amaranth. Arbutus—'you're the only one I love.' Red carnation is passion and deep romantic love. Daisy is loyal love. Gorse is love in all seasons. Red tulip, declaration of love; yellow is hopeless love. Blue violet is faithfulness. Creeping willow equals forsaken love. Mallow—consumed by love. Moonflower means dreaming of love. Primrose means eternal love. Red rose, true love; purple is love at first sight." He sighed deeply. "Morning glory means love in vain. Acacia is secret love." He pointed to the oxeye daisy. "Oxeye daisy means patience. Sleepy-by now?"

Mikan mouthed '_sleepy-by?_' to herself before shaking her head and pointing to the white rose.

"White roses generally mean false love."

Arden, who had been staring at Claire's flowers in shock, laughed lightly. "Well, it certainly wasn't with the other ones."

"Someone is kinda of insanely in love with you," Jade added.

"Jamie," Damien said.

"Bitch," he replied, leaning backwards on the floor.

Arden snapped his fingers. "Jeez, Jamie, you better make your move before someone else gets Claire."

"Bitch," he said again.

Mikan ignored him. "Who's to say Jamie wasn't the one that sent them in the first place?"

He felt the eyes of everyone turn to him.

"Bitch," he said.

* * *

><p>"Hola," Arden greeted him breezily. "Jamie, my best friend, my bro-from-another-mo, my—"<p>

"Get on with it, Arden," he sighed.

Arden sniffed. "Um, yeah…" He paused. "Um… I was going to ask Jade to, uh—"

"Marry you?" he suggested, rolling his eyes. He knew where the conversation was headed, but mocking Arden was always fun.

He turned bright red. "No! Uh—I mean—I would love to marry her—just when we're older—um—I—"

"Wanted to ask her to dance the last dance with you?" he supplied, smirking.

"Yes!" Arden all but shouted. "Yes—that!"

"Then here's an idea: go and ask her, not me."

He beamed. "You mean I can? You won't rip my arm off?"

"No, I already gave you permission to date her. Why the hell would I stop you from dancing with her?"

"Well…I dunno. You're you."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome." He paused. "So?"

Jamie waited for a second, but Arden didn't continue. "So what? I said you could go with her."

"Ask my permission."

"Ask your permission for _what_? You don't have a sister."

This received an exasperated look in return. "Think, genius. Who's my best female friend?"

"Claire," he answered automatically then blinked. "Wait, you think I…" He stopped for a moment. "Alright, first, I don't intend to ask Claire."

"Wuss."

"Second," he continued, "I don't need your permission to ask Claire out."

"Well you always have it anyway."

"Third, even if I did ask, she would probably just tell me off."

Reason three may or may not have been a plea for romantic help.

There was a small creaking noise from where the door was, but neither of them paid attention to it.

Arden snorted. "My God, man, are you kidding me? Any girl here would give their leg to dance with you!"

"Mikan wouldn't. Jade wouldn't. Mitsuki wouldn't. Claire—"

"Would."

"Not."

They glared at each other.

"You are so fucking stupid Jamie, you don't even know," Arden finally said, breaking the silence. "Claire has had this huge ass crush on you forever!"

He span around in the spinny chair of Arden's that he was sitting in, catching sight of Claire peering through the door curiously. "Really now?" he asked, trying not to smile in amusement. "Well then, are you sure?"

"Yes! Holy fuck, grow a pair and ask the poor girl out!"

"Why?"

"I just told you! Oh my God why are you acting so ridiculously stupid? It's so obvious you two are interested in each other it's painful!"

"Really? How so?"

Ardens eye twitched. "Are you playing with me, man?" He paused but Jamie said nothing. "Dude, she looks at you when you aren't looking at her! Which isn't much admittedly, but never mind that! I remember staring at Jade like that!" Jamie continued to say nothing. "Wow. Okay. This is stupid. You obviously sent her those flowers at Valentines too, because no other guy would have the money unless they didn't eat." Pause. Nothing. "Okay, you want proof? Alright. You won't believe this because you suck, but I walked in on her and Jade talking about you."

"Wow. Talking."

"I walked in just in time to hear Claire say that she _wouldn't mind dating you_." He paused for dramatic effect. "In Claire language, that means interest. You know that." He paused again. "I told them I wouldn't say anything, but I'm kind of desperate here."

He tried to keep a straight face, but a large, highly amused grin finally broke out across his face.

"See, now you're happy because she likes you, right! So go!"

He started laughing, and jerked his thumb towards the door. "Arden," he sputtered between laughs, "Claire has been standing at the door since you made the leg comment!"

The look of absolute terror on Ardens face made him laugh harder.

Claire stepped in stiffly. "I _didn't_ say that, Arden," she snarled, but was blushing madly.

Arden stepped back. "I-I…" He glanced to the side and his arm whipped out suddenly. "Ha!" he shouted as a huge cloud of smoke appeared.

When it cleared, he was gone.

"What the shit?" he said stupidly after a moment.

"Windows open," Claire muttered.

And indeed the window _was_ open.

"Well that was entertaining," he said after a small pause.

She glared at the window silently.

"But I feel a little bad for what you'll do to him when you find him," he continued conversationally.

"You owe me, you shit!" Ardens voice called from outside the window.

He stood up and walked over to the window, leaning out it slightly. "Just because you're stupid doesn't mean I owe you!" he called simply.

"You owe me because I give you and Claire my blessings!" There was a pause. "And because I think I fucked up my ankle." There was a pause as he moved his right foot then shouted in pain. "Yeah, alright! Okay! Now I can't dance with Jade, you penis!"

"Did Arden really just call me a penis?" he asked Claire.

She nodded.

He scowled then glared down at Arden. "I didn't force you to jump out a two-story window you jackass!"

There was a pause. "I don't care!" Arden replied. "You owe me!"

"And what, may I ask, do I owe you?" he asked sarcastically.

"Ask Claire for the last dance!"

"No."

"Do it!"

"No thanks."

"DO IT OR I WILL CRY!"

"Well shit, hope you have tissues."

Arden let out a noise that made Jamie think of a dying leprechaun. And continued to make that noise for about five minutes.

"Alright!" he relented angrily. He turned to Claire, who looked slightly scared. "Claire, will you dance with me on the last dance?" Well, that sounded horribly awkward.

"Wow, Jamie, can you say that any more awkwardly?" she asked sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

"Hey, Claire, wanna suck my dick to the last dance? I'm down if you are," he said, smirking slightly at the expression on her face. When anger started to settle over her face, he tried again. "Claire, will you please dance with me next week for the last dance?"

It came out in a serious, maybe even hopeful tone, and her eyes widened slightly.

"Because I want to be with you forever and ever and ever," he added in a high-pitched voice so the situation was less awkward.

Immediately her eyes narrowed. "No," she answered curtly.

Arden must have heard, because the wailing started again.

"Okay fine!" she snapped loudly. "I'll go to the stupid dance with you, okay?"

"Excellent!" Arden called.

He and Claire shared an awkward glance before looking away from each other quickly.

* * *

><p>Girls ogling him while he was wearing a shirt was annoying.<p>

Girls ogling him while he was shirtless was disturbingly creepy.

But it was bloody hot and he was at the gym in Central Town, so he would suffer through it. Fangirls were just a part of life, he supposed.

But the fact that they were _watching him workout_ was just plain stalkerish. Thankfully, he was on a treadmill that faced a wall, so he could just try and pretend they weren't there.

"Hey, Jamie."

He flinched slightly at the sudden, heart-achingly familiar voice, flipping the treadmill off quickly and turning around to face Claire. "Hi, Claire. What are you doing here?"

"The proper thing to say is actually, 'Come here often?' but I'll let it go this time."

His lips quirked into an amused smile.

"Arden and Jade wanted me to come and see if you wanted to get ice-cream with us," she explained, folding her arms over her chest and looking away from him slightly, blushing. "Why aren't you wearing a shirt?"

"I could ask you the same question."

"I _am_ wearing a shirt," she snapped in annoyance, looking down at her shirt. The neckline was a little too low for his liking and her shorts were far too… _short_. "That doesn't answer anything."

He shrugged. "It's hot. I'm a guy, it isn't required I wear one. Not that I would complain if you took yours off." He laughed when she slapped his arm. "Enjoy the view, Claire. All the other girls are."

She glanced over to where the flock was standing. "They're kinda creepy just standing over there."

He nodded. "That's why I was looking at the wall." He picked up his sweat towel. "Here, watch this." He tied the towel in a knot and threw it toward them.

Instantly, it was like a rabid dogfight.

Claire watched with a look between amusement and shock. "I didn't realize you were that desired around the school."

He shrugged. "I think half of them just want to fit in. We should leave while they're distracted."

She scowled slightly. "You're not going to shower?"

"And risk one of them creeping in? No. Besides, there isn't any point—we're going outside, where it is hot, where I will sweat."

She rolled her eyes. "What about your shirt?"

"Oh, they got that earlier."

"Of course they did," she mumbled, voice beyond annoyed. "Well, let's go then."

He walked after her quickly. "Why are you so annoyed? It's not my fault they take my stuff."

She sighed. "It's not _you_ I'm annoyed at. It's _them_. They act like you're a celebrity but you're just another student here."

He blinked. "Claire… are you _jealous_?" he asked, half confused, half thrilled.

Her eyes widened, her face reddened, and her quick steps faltered slightly. "What? No! I don't have anything to be jealous of!"

He sniffed as she ran ahead of him slightly, then quickened his step until he was beside her again. "No need to act so harsh about it, I was just asking a simple question."

"It was a stupid question," she grumbled.

He opened his mouth to retort when he heard someone call his name.

Turning around, already scowling, he came face-to-face with Scott, a high-schooler that seemed to get like picking on everyone that was in a grade lower than his.

"What?" Jamie hissed, trying to keep his voice even and failing.

"That's a pretty girl you're with," he said simply, smiling weirdly.

In a flash, Jamie was in front of Claire. "Leave her out of this, Scott. What do you want?"

Scott punched him hard in the chest then shoved him aside.

Grunting and bending slightly at the unexpected attack, he gritted his teeth angrily. Normally he would be able to defend himself easily—but not if the attack came for no reason.

He looked back up, nostrils flaring, and glowered at Scott as he towered over Claire.

"Well, well, well, you _are_ quite pretty," Scott mused. "A lot better looking when that idiot isn't standing in front of you."

Claire was giving him a dangerous glare. "I would appreciate it if you backed away from me."

"Ooh, and feisty too." He smirked, looking at Jamie briefly. "You know how to pick 'em, huh?" He moved a step closer to Claire, and just as she moved to step back, he grabbed her legs, way, _way_ too high up for Jamie's mental stability.

Acting upon instinct (which, admittedly, was probably stupid of him), he lurched forward, fist shooting into Scott's jaw. Instantly aware of what he had just done, he grabbed Claire's wrist it and started running, Scott cursing behind him.

He could hear Scott yell something rude, and then was aware of his footsteps sounding not too far behind them. Stopping abruptly, Jamie pulled Claire into the nearest shop. Scott was probably smart enough to not start a fight in one.

The clerk behind the front desk raised an eyebrow at them. "Ever heard of 'No shoes, no shirt, no service?'"

Jamie glanced around the shop. A clothing shop. He reached for a plain black t-shirt and held it up. "I'll just try this on."

The clerks' lips twitched, but she didn't smile.

Scott was standing outside the door, glaring at him through the window.

"Where are the changing rooms?" he asked politely.

She pointed to where he assumed they were, and he started towards them, still gripping Claire's wrist.

"You can let go now," she murmured.

Hesitantly, he did.

"Why did you punch him?" she asked after a moment as they stopped in front of the changing rooms.

He fiddled with the shirt awkwardly. "He touched you."

"I can handle myself," she said simply, but didn't sound terribly bothered.

He shrugged. "I dunno. He just… he _touched_ you," he said again, biting his thumbnail.

"He just touched my legs, Jamie. It isn't a big deal," she murmured.

That was probably meant to make him feel better, but he just became angrier. "It isn't, huh?" he hissed. She blinked in confusion, but before she could question his anger, he had her shoved up against the changing room door. "Then it wouldn't bug you at all if _I_ touched you?"

She pushed his shoulders lightly. "Jamie, what are you…?"

Without saying anything, he wrapped his hands around the back of her knees, trailing them up slowly.

"Jamie," she squeaked, face bright red when his fingers reached the ends of her shorts.

"I thought it wasn't a big deal," he snapped, breathing out hard with an irritated noise.

She looked down, biting her lip anxiously as he stepped away from her. "Sorry—I didn't mean… it did bug me when he touched me like that," she finally admitted.

"Then you should have said that," he huffed in annoyance, trying to ignore the fact that she hadn't said it had bothered her when _he_ did it. "Now, if you don't mind, I should probably put this shirt on before we get kicked out."

She nodded quickly, still looking morbidly embarrassed, and went to look at some of the clothes on display.

He turned around quickly and shut himself in the changing room, pulling the shirt over his head, then leaning against the wall and trying to get his emotions in check. Then he curled his hand into a fist and smashed it hard against his forehead, mad at himself for attacking Claire like that. Kicking the wall hard to try and let out a bit more of his frustration, he walked back out, heading back to the front desk.

"I guess I'll be getting this," he said simply, lifting up the price tag. Twenty rabbits. Not bad.

The clerk stared at him momentarily. "Your girlfriend was looking at some jewelry. You might want to see if she wants anything too."

"She's not my girlfriend," he muttered, but turned to go and find her. It took about eight seconds, as the rest of the store was empty.

Claire was admiring an emerald necklace that cost one thousand rabbits. Even Jamie had to admit that it was quite pretty – and Claire looked amazing in anything green.

"Do you want that?" he asked, stepping towards her.

She jumped slightly, fumbling to put the necklace back. "No," she denied quickly. "It's too expensive."

He refrained from reminding her that her father was rich.

"Have you paid for that yet?" she asked, changing the subject.

He shook his head.

"Well, let's go then," she said irritably, walking past him.

While she wasn't looking, he grabbed the necklace and started after her.

"This shirt"—He motioned to the shirt he was wearing—"and this necklace, please," he said simply, dangling the necklace on the end of his finger.

Claire stepped forward instantly, trying to grab the necklace from him, but he held it away from her. "Jamie, I told you I don't want it!"

He handed it to the clerk. "Then give it to Jade or Mitsuki."

"You shouldn't spend so much money on me," she grumbled.

The clerk handed the necklace back to him after scanning it. "Dear, you should be thanking him, not scolding him."

"Yeah, Claire," he agreed, grinning mockingly. "So rude. Jeez."

She smacked his arm.

"That'll be one thousand twenty five rabbits."

He handed her a wad of bills. "You can keep the change as a tip. I have absolutely no need for it."

She nodded excitedly, thanking him over and over.

"It isn't any trouble," he excused, looking out the stores window. "And would you look at that, Scott's gone! What do you think the chances are of Jade and Arden still waiting for us and ice-cream?"

"No chance at all," Claire said dryly as they walked out the door.

He pulled the tag off his shirt and stuffed it into his pocket. "Oh, wait, hang on a sec."

She paused, turning around in confusion, and he waved the necklace in her face, grinning.

"Want me to help you put this on?"

"I can put it on myself," she snapped, but turned and moved her hair to the side. He hooked the necklace around her neck, clipping it and letting it go so it dangled around her neck.

She turned around, looking slightly embarrassed again. "Thanks," she said, looking down at the necklace. After a moment, she looked back up at him. "I don't get you."

He blinked.

"You go and do these things out of nowhere," she said, frowning. "Buying me a necklace, giving the cashier a huge tip, giving all the girls flowers on Valentines Day… I don't get it. Why?"

He tilted his head. "I like making people happy. Don't you?"

"Yes," she answered quietly. "But I don't do these… _random acts of kindness_ like you do."

He shrugged as they started away again. "I think that everybody should get something on Valentines. I think that the clerk was nice and didn't kick us out even though I was shirtless. I felt bad for harassing you, you look amazing in green, and I like making you happy."

She opened her mouth, shut it again, and scowled.

"_Jamie!_" A voice called, and for a moment he thought Scott had found him again, but when he turned around, Mikan tackled him. "Hi!" she chirped.

He raised an eyebrow at her. "Hello. This is a rather compromising position you've put us in."

Her arms were wrapped around his neck, legs around his waist, face awkwardly close to his. She shrugged. "I've been in worse."

"Oh, well, that's just lovely."

She ran one of her hands through his hair. "Are you and Claire on a _date_?" she asked, grinning and letting go of him. "Am I _ruining_ it by getting into compromising positions with you?"

"We aren't on a date. But I would appreciate it if you stopped getting me into compromising positions."

"COMPROMISING POSITION!" Mikan yelled, then, before he even knew what was happening, had tackled him to the ground and was straddling him, face buried in his neck.

"You are just hell-bent on killing me, aren't you?" he groaned, shoving her away and rubbing his neck.

She shrugged, getting up as though nothing had just happened. She turned to Claire, who was looking a little awkward as Jamie clambered back to his feet. "Ooh, that's a pretty necklace," Mikan instantly gushed.

Jamie grinned wickedly as Claire flashed him a glare.

"Thanks," she mumbled.

Mikan hummed. "Well, I'll leave you two whatever-you-ares to do whatever-you-do, 'kay?"

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, you do that."

"I will!" she said loudly, walking off.

"You know how you said you don't get me?" he asked Claire as Mikan disappeared into a building.

"Yeah?"

"I don't get _her_," he said, motioning to where Mikan disappeared.

"I don't think anyone does."

"And at that, I don't get you either."

"How so?"

"Well," he started dramatically, "Usually when I spend half as much time as I've spent with you with another girl, they've tried to get into my pants at least twice." He eyed her. "_You_ haven't! Tell me, Claire, how have you resisted my charms for this long?"

She rolled her eyes at him. "I just must not be attracted to morons."

"I find that offensive. I am plenty smart."

"Really?"

"Yes. I believe I have proved that to you with my big words and knowledge of… flowers."

The word 'flowers' immediately made her blush, and she looked away from him.

"And, I'll have you know, I have the second highest grade in our class."

"Teachers pet."

"I'm smart, not a—oh crap."

Claire raised her eyebrows at him.

"Scott's coming towards us," he explained, then grabbed her wrist and took off.

"I'll kill you, Swift!" Scott called from somewhere behind him.

He grinned faintly, veering off into a forest. "I know somewhere we can go for awhile," he said to Claire over his shoulder, slowing down slightly so he wouldn't get lost in the trees.

"Or you'll just get us lost," Claire said dryly.

He clicked his tongue. "I know where I'm going – Scott does not."

"We'll see."

"What, don't trust me, Claire?" He asked, maneuvering them through the forest.

"I trust you," she said after a moment. "Just not your sense of direction."

"Well, maybe you will now," he replied, turning left.

"Wow, congrats, more trees. I'm impressed."

He smiled, pulling her past the trees and watching her mouth form an 'o' of surprise as she stared, wide-eyed, at a field full of flowers.

"The students with flower related alices had too many flowers, so they planted them in the field here. They come check every couple of days to make sure the flowers are fine, and eventually…" He shrugged. "They just all kept growing, and the seeds spread. And this was the result."

She stared incredulously, and he pulled her into the field, grinning widely and reaching down to grab some flowers, using the stem of a forget-me-not to tie them together and handing them to Claire.

She blinked at them, stunned, before taking them slowly. "What do they mean?"

"Dahlia," he started, smirking and pointing to one of the flowers, "Means elegance and dignity. Fitting for you."

She sniffed, looking down at her shoes.

He pointed to the next flower. "Do you remember what arbutus means?"

"It means 'you're the only one I love,'" she whispered, blushing.

"Forget-me-nots mean true love. Red chrysanthemums mean 'I love.'" He paused, then took it out of the knot and, as Claire flashed him a confused look, tucked it behind her ear. "You look good in red, too," he said breezily, smirking.

"You're stupid," she snapped.

"Hey, it's good you blush a lot," he chirped, earning him a slap on the shoulder. "Okay, okay. Primrose is eternal love, if you remember. Coriander means lust. Stop glaring at me. Acacia, as I'm sure you remember, is secret love."

Her glare faltered slightly and her eyes went back to the ground.

He stretched his arms, plopping down onto the grass, careful to avoid the flowers. Claire remained standing, twisting the flowers between her fingers thoughtfully. Rolling his eyes, he grabbed her hand and pulled her down.

"Well, this wasn't exactly what I was trying to do, but I'm not complaining," he said smiling widely when Claire landed on his lap, eyes wide.

She turned to look at him, probably going to tell him off, but froze at how close their faces suddenly were. They sat like that for a minute, both staring at each other with wide eyes, but not moving away from each other. He could feel her heart beating rapidly against his own, her chest moving unevenly with her breaths.

"Jamie," she finally whispered, "if you actually do like me, why haven't you kissed me yet?"

He let out a weak, strained laugh. "Claire, if I kissed you now, I doubt I'd be able to stop," he answered shakily.

She hesitated, staring at him, before moving forward, destroying the couple of inches that separated each other, pressing her lips against his. He froze momentarily then closed his eyes, moving his lips against hers slowly, testing the waters.

When neither of them moved away, he wrapped his arms around her waist, pressing his mouth against hers firmly. Not breaking the kiss, he pushed her back into the grass, straddling her, nipping her bottom lip when her arms wound around his neck.

"Swift, as soon as I find you, you're dead!" Scott's voice called from somewhere in the forest, and as abruptly as the kiss had begun, it ended.

He pulled away from Claire, eyes flicking to the forest for barely a second before returning to Claire. He could feel his face flush as he scrambled off of her, sitting in the grass dazedly. He covered his mouth with his hand as she sat up, looking just about as shocked as he felt. "I—I'm sorry," he sputtered, "I didn't mean—I shouldn't have—I just—went too far—sorry—I'm sorry," he choked out, fumbling for words, looking at the ground.

"It—it's fine," Claire stuttered. "My fault, really—um…"

Scott's voice rang out again, closer this time.

"You should go," Jamie blurted.

She blinked. "What?"

He got to his feet. "Scott is coming. You should go before he gets here."

"What about you?" she asked, frowning.

He shrugged. "He's looking for me, not you." He pulled her up. "I'll catch up with you later. Just let me deal with him for now, okay?"

Slowly, still looking stunned, she nodded. "Okay…"

She took a few small steps back, away from him, but he grabbed her hand and yanked her back, kissing her once more, before pushing her away.

"Sorry. I just had to do that," he said in a fake casual voice.

She made a weird sound, stumbling back.

"The bus-stop should be just past those trees over there. Scott's voice came from the opposite direction, so you should be fine," he explained simply.

"Um… alright," she muttered, hand over her mouth, turning and jogging away with shaking legs.

"I see you, Swift!" Scott's voice called, and he pounced out of the trees just as Claire disappeared into them. "You'll pay for doing that!"

* * *

><p>"…and if you give this to someone you like between now and the night of the dance and they accept it, it's said that you'll be together forever!" Utau chirped, waving a ribbon around wildly. "So, do what you will with your ribbons." She winked suggestively then walked out of the classroom, leaving the homeroom class without a teacher, as usual.<p>

"Have I ever mentioned how responsible Utau is?" Mikan asked, rolling her eyes.

"Nope," he answered the rhetorical question.

She hummed under her breath before getting to her feet. "Well, I'm out of here. I don't need any idiots to try and give me their ribbon because of 'fate.'"

He flashed her the peace sign, resting his chin on his other arm tiredly.

Already his classmates were looking at one another deciding just who would be special enough to get their ribbon.

Jamie looked down at the ribbon he had tied around his wrist then back around the classroom. Naturally Arden and Jade were already swapping theirs, Damien was walking out of the classroom, Mitsuki was staring thoughtfully at her own ribbon, and just about everyone else was looking at the person they had a crush on.

"So, Claire…"

Jamie looked up, towards where Claire was sitting, one seat in front of him. A few girls were standing in front of her, eyes all narrowed. Claire had cleverly tied her ribbon into her hair, making a ponytail.

"Who are you giving your ribbon to?" Sam, the leader of the trio behind her, asked.

Claire's tone was impassive. "I don't plan on giving it to anyone."

Sam nodded slowly. "Then… you wouldn't mind if I did _this_"—she ripped the ribbon out of Claire's hair, tearing it in two—"right?"

Claire looked down at the two pieces before shrugging and stuffing them into her pocket.

Sam moved past her until she was beside his desk. "Hey, Jamie," she greeted, smiling. "Do you have anyone in mind for giving your ribbon to?" Her face was tilted to the floor, but her eyes were clearly looking at him as she bit her lower lip.

"You know," he started slowly, eyes not leaving hers, "I wasn't planning on it, but now that I think about it harder, I think I will."

Her face lifted so she was smiling straight at him as he got to his feet.

But he just brushed past her to stand in front of Claire's desk. Claire barely glanced at him before looking down, face red. He untied his ribbon and held it in front of her. "Here, Claire, you can use my ribbon to tie your hair back."

She looked up at him, looking morbidly embarrassed. They hadn't exactly talked about what had happened the other day, and he wasn't sure he wanted to. "No, it's fine Jamie. You should keep it."

His lip twitched faintly with amusement. "Claire, it's a ribbon, not an engagement ring."

"I know that!" she spat at him.

"Then what's the problem?"

She faltered. "There… isn't one…" She sighed, defeated, and took the ribbon from him. "Thanks," she mumbled, tying her hair back.

One of the girls reached towards the ribbon and Jamie swatted her hand away from Claire, narrowing his eyes dangerously. "Did I give it to _you_?" he spat at the girl. "You guys already ripped one, but if you rip this one too, I'll get mad."

The girls scattered.

"Threatening girls isn't… _alluring_, Jamie," Claire said after a moment.

He grinned. "Really? But I've always been just _so_ attracted to people that make others miserable or scared. Guess I've been living my life all wrong, huh?"

She rolled her eyes, looking faintly amused.

"Wait," he said after a moment, "Does that mean I'm alluring when I'm _not_ being a meany-face?"

"Considering you just said 'meany-face,'" Claire started dryly. "No, not really."

He sniffed. "You just can't handle my swag, Claire."

"Your _swag_, Jamie? Really?"

"Yeah, you're right. Swag means to hang heavily and let's face it, I'm not overweight."

"You would be if you didn't work out," Claire grumbled.

"I need to work out. I mean, how else would I have abs?"

"Abs my ass," Claire said under her breath.

"What's that? You have abs on your ass?" he asked, smirking. "That's impressive, Claire. Maybe you'll let me check them out sometime?"

Claire pushed him violently and he laughed.

"You brought it up, Claire," he teased sticking his tongue out at her. He noticed Sam reaching for the ribbon and narrowed his eyes angrily. "Sam, is there something you want?" he hissed, blocking her hand from Claire.

She retracted her hand quickly, blushing. "Oh, um, no…"

He sighed irritably. "Well, doesn't seem like class is going anywhere. Wanna skip, Claire?"

She hesitated before nodding, and he grabbed his bag, then hers. When she opened her mouth to protest, he held up his hand, shaking his head, and she shut it again, looking annoyed.

"The proper response is to thank me for being such a gentleman, Claire." He grinned as she stood up, scowling. "It's okay, though," he sighed, "I'll get over it."

She ignored him, starting toward the door, and he followed her obediently.

"So where are we heading?" Jamie asked after a few moments of somewhat awkward silence.

She shrugged. "I don't care."

He shuffled slightly. "Well, first we should drop our bags off. My rooms closer, so we can just leave them there," he offered quietly.

"Okay." She continued to walk a few steps ahead of him.

"Why are you walking so fast?" he complained after a moment, quickening his step as they walked out of the school building. "You know, the proper thing to do is walk next to me."

"Don't get your hopes up," she responded breezily, and he was pretty sure she had started walking quicker.

He huffed and quickened his steps, but she started going quicker again, making it futile. "Fairy," he whined, giving up.

"Because calling me that ridiculous nickname is really going to make me slow down," she snapped, opening the door to the special-star building and stepping in, then paused outside his bedroom door.

"Of course it will," he agreed easily, reaching past her and opening his door. He walked in, dropping his and Claire's bag next to the door, then turned to Claire. "So, what do you propose we do?"

She shrugged.

He walked back out, closing his door behind him and looking at her thoughtfully. "Well, we could—" He broke off as the ground started shaking violently beneath their feet, grabbing the doorknob quickly to keep his balance.

Claire gasped, stumbling at the sudden quake, and he grabbed her and pulled her against him as she started to fall. Unfortunately, his sudden movement made his grip loosen on the doorknob, and he fell to the floor, Claire landing on top of him with a yelp.

After about a minute more, the ground stilled and he breathed a sigh of relief. "So, do you think that was a real earthquake or an alice made one?" he asked, voice shaking slightly.

Snapping out of her daze, Claire, who had been clutching at his shirt in fear, jolted away and off of him quickly, blushing. "Uh—uh…"

He stood up, legs shaking slightly, and looked back down at Claire. "Are you alright?" he asked, choosing to ignore her stuttering.

She bit her lip slightly but nodded, looking down.

He groaned. "No you're not. What happened, where are you hurt?"

She glared up at him. "I'm _fine_."

He raised his eyebrows. "Really then? Get up."

She looked back down for a millisecond before getting to her feet. "See? Fine."

He scowled. "Walk down the hall then."

She scowled back at him and started down the hall, him matching her step for step, until finally she winced and her step faltered. When her body tilted towards the floor, his arm shot out around her waist, catching her.

"You should have said you were hurt," he growled, setting her back on her feet but not removing his arm from her. "It would have saved you the pain, Claire."

She squirmed slightly, putting her most of her weight on her left, uninjured foot. "Just—" She seemed to realize that he was still holding her. "…Let go."

He rolled his eyes. "No."

She jerked her arm violently in attempt to move away from him, but this only made her topple over, into his chest.

"Jeez, Claire, you're the last girl I would expect to throw themselves at me," he joked lightly.

She pushed away from him, but she was still leaning on him slightly. She looked up at his face, her own bright red. "I—I didn't mean to—" she broke off into unintelligible stammers.

He rolled his eyes again. "Claire, it's okay. I was just joking around."

She swallowed roughly.

"Look, let's get you to my room, okay? I want to look at your ankle."

She nodded in defeated. "S…sorry for lying about it…"

"Sorry for making you walk when I knew you were injured." He shifted them slightly. "Do you think you can make it?"

"We aren't that far away," she said defensively.

"What the _hell_?" An infuriated voice yelled.

Jamie blinked and turned to look at Sam, who was standing in the doorway of the special star dorm. Claire seemed to shrink into him.

"I _knew_ you were interested in him!" Sam spat at Claire.

Jamie gritted his teeth. "Calm down, Samantha, the earthquake made her hurt her ankle."

Sam scoffed, walking forwards until she was standing beside them. "I doubt she's injured at all." She glowered at Claire. "I thought I made it clear to _stay away_ from him!" she yelled as if he wasn't there. She pulled Claire violently away from him, pushing her.

Claire stumbled back, barely managing to get her footing.

Sam stalked towards her, Jamie staring uncomprehendingly after her. "I know you aren't really hurt!" she spat at Claire. Without waiting for a response from either of them, she kicked Claire's ankle, _hard_.

As Claire shrieked in pain and fell to the floor, his mind finally snapped into gear, and he jolted forward, tackling Sam into the wall, elbow pressed tightly against her throat.

She squeaked in surprise and pain, but he only pushed his arm tighter against her. "If you _ever_ touch Claire again," he snarled viciously, "I'll kill you. I swear I'll kill you."

Tears of fear were brimming in her eyes, but any compassion he might have had for her was gone. She made a choked sobbing noise that sounded like "_Please_."

_She can't breathe_, he realized somewhere in the back of his mind. He didn't find himself caring much, but common sense told him to end this. "You're lucky I don't beat you bloody," he spit. Not quite finished with his anger, he brought his hand up and whipped it fast and hard against her cheek, causing her head to reel to the side and her to yelp loudly.

He let her go and she went flying out of dorms, hiccupping.

Immediately forgetting about her, he bolted over to Claire, kneeling beside her worriedly. "Oh God, Claire, are you okay?" _Of course she isn't okay, dipshit._

She opened her mouth, looking like she was going to say she was fine, but tears filled her eyes suddenly and she shook her head.

He reached under her and scooped her up, and instead of complaining, she held his shirt tightly, pressing her face into his shoulder.

_How hard did Sam kick her?_ He wondered, horrified. Even when she had injured it earlier she wasn't letting him help, but now she was shaking with restrained cries. He twisted his doorknob awkwardly and pushed it open with his foot. He walked in, kicked the door shut behind him, and walked over to his bed before putting her down gently. "Claire, I'm going to take your shoe off so I can get a look at your foot, alright?"

"It'll hurt," she whispered, shaking her head violently.

"I know," he replied quietly, grabbing her hand lightly. "But I need to see, okay?" She stared at him helplessly. "When it hurts, just squeeze my hand."

She seemed to finally take notice of his hand in hers, and immediately she blushed. "No—this will hurt."

He sighed lightly. "Claire, you're hurt."

"Then take me to the nurse," she snapped, pulling her leg closer to her body. "It _hurts_, Jamie."

"I know, which is why I need to take your shoe off. And either way, it will be coming off, so you mine as well just cooperate."

Her jaw clenched and she seemed to finally give up. "_Fine_," she spat, turning and looking at the wall.

"Good girl," he said with a small smirk, moving to the end of the bed but not removing his hand from Claire's. "Okay," he said, grabbing her shoe lightly. "Remember, squeeze my hand." As soon as he started pulling it off, Claire's grip tightened painfully around his fingers, but he didn't flinch, just removed the shoe and placed it to the side.

When it was off, Claire's grip slackened and she turned back and looked at her foot. "Oh no…" It was already red and swollen.

He frowned at it. "That's not good."

"I _know_ that."

He placed his hand on it and she made a small sound of pain and protest, but he ignored her and activated his ice alice. She gasped. He grinned in amusement. "The ice alice is unbelievably helpful when it comes to injuries." After a few moments he removed it. "Does that feel better?"

She nodded slowly, looking dazed. "Who knew you'd actually be useful for something?" she breathed with a light laugh.

He sniffed. "Oh, be quiet." He got to his feet again, slipping his hand away from Claire's. She stared at him with blank confusion. "I'll be right back," he promised, heading towards his door.

"What?" she fired instantly, sounding panicked. "Where are you going?"

"I'll be right back," he repeated, walking out and shutting the door quietly behind him. He walked across this hall to Mikan's room, unlocking it with the key she had given him. He scowled at the scene in front of him. Her bookshelf had collapsed and books were all over the floor, CDs were scattered, and her drawer had spilled her clothes in a messy pile. He stepped over things until he reached her bedside table, pulling open the top drawer, which had amazingly managed to stay put through the earthquake.

In it was labeled baggies full of alice stones. He rummaged through them until he came across the one he was looking for—_healing_.

He pulled it out and opened it, dropping three alice stones into his hand. _Now to see which is compatible_. With three there, at least one of them should have been.

After a moment, one of them started to glow faintly, and he dropped the other two back in the baggie, dropping it into the drawer and bolting to the door again, not bothering to shut the drawer. He did take the time to relock Mikan's door, however.

As soon as he reopened his door, Claire glared at him icily. "You just _leave_ injured girls alone without explanation?" she snapped, scowling darkly.

He rolled his eyes, walking in and absorbing the alice stone through his hand using the insertion alice Mikan had given him. "I wouldn't be complaining if I was you."

She folded her arms over her chest.

He lifted his hand up, showing her a faint green glow. "Healing alice, Claire."

She stared uncomprehendingly at him as he walked forward, placing his hand over her foot again. When the green glow started again, she blinked. "But doesn't using an alice that isn't yours weaken you or lower your lifespan?" He didn't reply and her eyes widened suddenly. "And doesn't the healing alice hurt you if you don't transfer the pain to something else?"

He took his hand off her foot just as she jolted away from him.

"Jamie!" she yelled, looking mortified.

Pain shot through him but he acted normal. "You should be able to walk again."

"You—you _jerk_," she cried, smacking his arm hard. "How could… how could you hurt yourself for something so stupid!"

"It isn't stupid!" he snapped, catching her wrist as she swatted at him again. "Claire, Sam _attacked _you because of me!"

She went quiet.

He tightened his grip on her wrist. "Claire, answer me truthfully," he breathed quietly. "Have you been getting bullied because you hang out with me?"

She stared down at her lap.

He clenched his jaw, letting go of her. "How could you let that happen?" he snapped at her. "You should have told me, or even stopped spending time with me, not let it continue to this point!"

She scowled back at him. "I didn't tell you because I knew you'd react like this!"

"Oh, I'm so sorry for caring about you," he sneered.

"You think I could just stop hanging out with you?" she spat. "You think I want to see you worry about me? I was trying to _avoid _this!"

"Well you shouldn't have been!" he shouted furiously. "You shouldn't be taking this so easily, Claire, bullying is serious!"

She gritted her teeth, looking at her lap angrily.

"Why and how have they been bullying you, Claire?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why are they bullying you because of me? In what way—verbal, physical, emotional? And I know it wasn't just Sam, so don't even try."

She picked at a loose thread on her shirt. "I don't know why exactly," she murmured. "Just because of all the girls you hang out with, you…" She paused, blushing. "You show the most… _interest_ in me."

A muscle in his jaw twitched as he waited for her to continue.

She pulled the thread violently. "They verbally and physically bully me."

_I _knew_ I should have beat her bloody…_

They sat in silence before Claire cleared her throat awkwardly. "Jamie, you…" she trailed off momentarily before trying again. "You hit Sam."

"I know."

She pulled the thread again. "Why?"

He blinked. "She hurt you."

"But you didn't have to attack her. It's just like when Scott—" She broke off, blushing madly and pulling the string awkwardly as she got to her feet, still favoring one of them despite them both working. "I—I should go."

He blinked and jumped to his feet as she started towards the door. "I hate it," he blurted loudly, grabbing her wrist and pulling her towards him slightly.

She bumped into him, eyes wide with embarrassment.

"I hate it when you're hurt," he continued quickly. "I hate to think you're getting bullied because of me."

She opened her mouth slightly, but he swept on, apparently not even controlling his own mouth.

"I hate when other guys talk to you," he breathed. "I hate when they flirt with you, I hate it when they touch you. I _hated_ it when Scott grabbed you." He gasped for breath. "I hate thinking that someone else could be touching you, holding you, kissing you—thoughts like that drive me _crazy_!"

Without waiting for her response, he lurched forward, twisting her around so she was facing him fully, pressing his lips over hers hastily. She froze as he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into him, urging her to respond. After a few moments, she leaned into him, moving her lips in sync with his. One hand rested on his cheek, the other clutching his shirt with a desperate need.

He pulled away slightly, resting his forehead against hers, eyes growing wide with the sudden realization of what he had just done. Claire opened her eyes slowly, letting her hand fall from his cheek to the collar of his shirt. Her eyes darkened with worry when she saw his expression.

He pulled away from her, looking away. _Stupid_, he spat inwardly. He was getting _way_ too close to Claire for comfort. Actually, he was very comfortable being this close to Claire—even closer. Which was the problem.

He moved further away from her, clenching his jaw, and his hands into fists. "You—you should go."

Surprise flitted across her face, but she must have noticed his desperation, because she nodded slowly and walked out, leaving him feeling worse than before.

* * *

><p>A letter slid under his door.<p>

Briefly he wondered if it was the delivery robot or Claire that had slid it through to him. Him and Claire had been playing the avoiding game, which was extremely hard and awkward.

He stared at the letter, not quite sure he was in the mood to know how Jaylen was, when he remembered that he had gotten a letter about her just two days ago. Unless something was wrong, he shouldn't have gotten another letter.

He was on his feet instantly, tripping over himself to get to the letter. It was only when he was already tearing it open when he saw that it wasn't from the same address as normal. He stopped, pausing to look at it, pressing his lips together unsurely. His eyes widened numbly when he read the name on the back.

Then, as quick as he had desperately scooped it up, he crumpled it into a ball and hurled it at the wall, watching it fall to the floor and roll towards his trash can furiously, the name on the back burned in his mind.

The name of his father.

* * *

><p>Arden hopped from foot to foot, glancing around nervously.<p>

"Stop it," Jamie snapped at him. "You look stupider than usual."

Arden stopped and made a face at him. "As if you aren't nervous at all."

"It's a dance, Arden. No, I am not nervous. I don't know why you are, it's not as if this is going to be the first date you go on with Jade or anything."

He scowled, looking towards Jade's door. "But you get to dance with Claire," he whined. "Don't you have _any_ feelings about that?"

He shrugged. Of course he did, but it wasn't really Arden's business, no matter how much he interfered. "I'm a little irritated that you forced it on us."

He rolled his eyes. "You are damn happy you get to. Can't you imagine it, Jamie?" _Oh Jesus._ "You and Claire," he started in a weird tone. "Your hands around her waist, hers on your shoulders… your bodies so close that your hips tou—"

"_Arden_," he interrupted, feeling heat race to his cheeks. "I know what happens when people dance. I've done it before."

Arden waved his hand at him dismissingly. "Yes, yes. But imagine it with _Claire_!"

He didn't really want to. "No."

"You're blushing."

Before he could retort, the door opened, and both him and Arden turned their attention to it.

He had been hoping for Jade so Arden wouldn't have the chance to mock him anymore, but instead, it was indeed Claire who stepped out. She blushed when she saw him, looking down at her feet.

Arden elbowed him, hissing, "Tell her how she looks, idiot."

He looked down at his own feet. "Like I would do that while you're here."

Arden gave him an evil look. "So, Claire," he started, "How about you and Jamie go ahead?"

She blinked. "But I thought we were all going to—"

Without waiting, he pushed him into her, causing them both to stumble and glare at Arden evilly.

Before any of them could start an argument, the door opened and Jade stepped out, hands on her hips as she looked between the three of them. "Can you guys _not_ argue for once?"

Arden, immediately distracted by Jade, turned and beamed at her, then blushed madly when he saw her.

Saving Arden from not being able to form actual words, Jamie jumped in. "Blue is definitely your color."

An icy blue dress clung to her snugly, and she smiled faintly. "We're twins. It's your color too." She eyed him. "Though you've seemed to take on the typical bad-boy look instead."

He looked down at himself. He was wearing a white collared shirt, black dress pants, but he had switched it up a bit by wearing a leather jacket. He shrugged, shoving his hands into the jackets pockets.

"You look good too, I guess," she supplied, not sounding all that impressed.

He rolled his eyes.

"So?" she asked, shuffling her feet impatiently. "Let's blow this popsicle stand."

Arden jolted slightly. "Right—yeah!" he cheered happily, and they started toward the door. He opened it for Jade, then stopped and turned towards him and Claire. "Yeah, but you two have to stay here for awhile."

"Arden…" he hissed, impatience lacing his voice. "Stop with the bull already."

He shook his head. "Oh, it isn't bull, Jamie." He reached into his pocket and pulled a small cube out of it, placing it a few feet in front of the door. "If you walk past this, it'll automatically set off and explosion… of paint, but an explosion none the less." He smiled. "Don't want Claire's pretty dress to get ruined, do you?"

Automatically, he and Claire both stepped away from the cube, him moving in front of her slightly. "Arden you're such an asshole."

He didn't seem to care. "Anyway, it'll deactivate in five minutes. Until then, ta-ta you stupid fuckers… and I mean that in the literal sense, of course."

He felt his mouth drop open, but before he could even begin to yell at Arden, he was out the door, laughing along with Jade.

Him and Claire remained silent for a long while, before finally they glanced at each other. Their eyes connected and they both looked opposite ways quickly. He looked at the cube, noticing that there was a small glowing red dot. It would probably stop glowing when the five minutes was up.

He turned towards Claire again, opening his mouth to say something, but he found his mouth extremely dry when he looked at her. So he looked at the floor and swallowed. "Arden's a freak," he muttered, voice trembling lightly.

"He and Jade suit each other," she replied quietly. He smiled in amusement. "She made me put on loads of make-up, a dress, high-heels… I look ridiculous."

"No," he blurted before he could stop himself. "You look…" He looked up at her and his breath caught again.

A light green strapless dress hugged her body, clearly showing every curve of her, reaching just past her knees. She wore matching green high-heels and, he was assuming, make-up that Jade had forced on her. It brought out her eyes, making them seem brighter than before.

"…breathtaking," he whispered, his eyes meeting hers again.

She blushed insanely and looked down at herself, breaking eye contact. "N-no, I…" She trailed off into embarrassed mumbles.

They didn't have any more time to be embarrassed, because the doorknob to the special star building started turning. Their reaction was immediate, both him and Claire darting into his room without a second thought.

A moment later, there was a loud popping noise, and a shout of fury. He and Claire shared a wide-eyed look when they recognized Damien's voice.

"Whichever one of you did that, you're dead!" he shouted. The sound of a door slamming open from across the hall echoed loudly.

"We're screwed," Jamie muttered.

Claire raised her eyebrows. "You're seriously going to give up so easily?"

"Well we certainly can't go out _there_!" he snapped, motioning to his door.

"You must have _somewhere_ we can hide, your room is huge!"

He bit the inside of his mouth. "Well, my bathroom maybe, but he'd probably—"

"If there's a chance we can hide, I'll take it," she said quickly, dragging him toward the small room.

"Well yeah, but then he'll catch us hiding and know we know what happened!"

"Have you seen Damien when he's mad?" she asked, whipping around to face him. "He doesn't pay attention to details. He could very well miss us."

He opened his mouth to respond then closed it again. Damien _was_ unobservant when angry. "Fine," he agreed reluctantly. "We might be able to hide in the bathtub or something."

She nodded and continued towards the bathroom as Damien let out another rage filled howl.

She stopped in front of his bathtub, examining it with a frown. "Even if we shut the curtain, he'd see our shadows. We'd have to lie down, but there wouldn't be enough room for—"

The sound of his doorknob being jiggled sent both of them into the tub without hesitation, and they managed to squeeze themselves both into a laying down position, that probably would've made them feel awkward or embarrassed if they hadn't been terrified out of their minds.

"If I find you, you're dead!" Damien called.

He pulled Claire closer to him as if that would protect her and the bathroom light flicked on.

Damien's ragged breathing reached them as he stalked forward, nothing more than a shadow to them. His hand shot forward and swatted around, trying to hit someone that wasn't there. He let out another yowl when he connected with only the shower curtain, and there was the sound of him knocking things over in anger.

Jamie splashed toilet water in his face, annoyed that his stuff was getting tossed around, this eliciting more fury and Damien storming out of the room, spitting curses. He bit his lip to stop himself from laughing and Claire started trembling with restrained giggles.

His door slammed, shaking his whole dorm-room violently. After a moment, they both sat up wearily, not quite sure whether to trust the room or not.

Jamie pushed the curtain aside, looking down at the paint footprints left on his floor regretfully before stepping out of the tub, automatically offering his hand to Claire to help her out.

They walked out of his room, both staring at the paint left behind from Damien's rampage. They stopped in the middle of his room, both quietly examining the stains as if not sure how to react.

Finally, he opened his mouth to comment, but a small choked noise came out instead, and that seemed to be the last straw between him and Claire. They both exploded into laughter until they had to sit on his bed to stop themselves from falling over, and even then they were on the verge of tears.

When they were finally near done with their laughing at Damien's expense, he finally wheezed, "I wish we could have seen his face."

The thought of it sent them both into another fit of giggles.

"We wouldn't have been able to see it through all the paint," Claire said, breathing roughly after the episode had passed.

They lay there silently, both of them trying to regain their wits, before Jamie realized the semi-awkward position they were in. Claire was pressed firmly into his side, and one of his arms was tucked under her, wrapped around her waist.

Claire seemed to notice it at the same time he did and she bolted upright quickly, a blush appearing quickly. "U-um…" She looked at the paint on his floor. "What are you going to do about that?"

He sat up, shrugging. "Leave them there to remember this wonderful occasion?"

She rolled her eyes at him, shaking her head exasperatedly. "I don't think you need them to remember this by."

"You're right, I wouldn't forget this if I had Alzheimer's."

"You probably would, actually," she replied, her normal guarded demeanor coming back.

"Trust me, I wouldn't."

"How could you possibly know anyway?" she snapped quickly, looking annoyed at his defiance.

"Because I don't forget time that I spend with you," he said calmly, opening his door and looking out cautiously. She didn't reply so he figured she was too busy being embarrassed to do anything. "Looks like Damien disappeared again. We can head out safely now, if you don't mind walking through some paint."

"Uh, r-right," she squeaked, coming up behind him.

He stepped out slowly, eyeing the colorful, wet walls. "I'd love to know how Damien looks."

"Like a rainbow," she drawled behind him impatiently. "Are we going or not? He could come back anytime you know."

"Be careful you don't slip," Jamie warned as she pushed past him. It was at the exact moment that he finished the sentence that she slipped. He caught her smoothly, raising an eyebrow at her when she squeaked in fear. "Really now?" He helped steady her, keeping one hand on the small of her back. "Did you forget that you're wearing heels?"

She started forward again, him keeping step with her. "No," she hissed between her teeth, looking mortified beyond belief. "Shut up."

He didn't reply, looking awkwardly at the paint drenched doorknob. Distaste dripped off his words, "Not even the doorknob was spared Arden's machinery."

"Scared to get your hands dirty, Swift?" Claire challenged.

He sent her a dry look. "I've got enough blood on my hands to know that this _paint_ won't make a difference." He reached past her and opened the door and walked out without waiting for a response.

He paused a few meters out the door, turning back to look at Claire's still body. "Are you coming or not?"

She stumbled after him, quiet.

"Look, I'm sorry," he sighed. "I shouldn't have said that."

"It's hardly a secret that you go on missions, Jamie," she said calmly. "I just… try not to think about it."

"Sorry," he repeated.

"Let's not talk about it."

"Yeah, let's talk about how Damien's going to be very accusing tomorrow."

She laughed and the tension left the air. "He might not bring it up to save his rep."

"Maybe." He paused, sending her a small glance out of the corner of his eye. "How long do you think it'll take him to get all the paint off?"

She laughed again and this time he joined her.

"You two look quite happy together," a voice mused above them. Jamie looked up just as Mikan slid out of a tree. "I thought you were coming with Arden and Jade?"

"Eh, long story," he said, shrugging. "Avoid the special dorms."

She didn't ask. "You look a lot less formal than most of the other guys." She eyed him rather approvingly. "Typical bad-boy look."

"Tuxes are for weddings," he said. "This is a lot more comfortable. What about you, Sakura? In a tree instead of the dance?"

She waved her hand at him. "I went there for a bit." She motioned to the bright orange dress she was wearing. "Didn't care to stick around." She twirled. "So, Swift, how do I look?"

"As gorgeous as always," he complimented.

"What, not better than usual?"

He rolled his eyes. "Sorry, trick of the light. You're right—you look _way_ better."

"That's what I thought," she said smugly. "And you know who looks _almost_ as good as me?"

She was giving him an obvious opening to flatter Claire – so obvious that Claire probably knew what Mikan was doing too. "Me?" he suggested.

Mikan gave him an infuriated look and even Claire looked rather surprised at the missed opportunity. "I was going to say Claire," Mikan practically hissed.

"Claire looks better than you," he said.

Mikan's lip twitched, and the anger turned into amused understanding. Claire flushed and said nothing.

"I see," Mikan said slowly. "Well, I guess I should let you two go ahead. Sorry to have interrupted your, ah, flirting."

"That isn—"

Mikan shook her head, not wanting his excuses, then walked past them, waving over her shoulder.

"Let's go," Claire said quickly, not looking at him.

"Er, yeah."

They walked the rest of the way in silence. When they arrived, Arden looked at them oddly and Claire quickly excused herself with a "Thanks for escorting me."

Arden sauntered up, the weird look still evident. "I thought you two set off the bomb – you should be splattered in paint."

Jamie stared at him, letting his face betray how unimpressed he was with Arden. "You didn't think that maybe Mikan or Damien would walk in?"

He paled considerably and Jamie felt better.

"Damien set it off—we hid."

"Oh shit," Arden cursed, actually shuddering.

"Yeah, have fun with that. I'll bill you for the paint stains in my room." He clapped Arden's shoulder with his paint-covered hand as he walked past him, feeling better. He looked for a dark, empty spot he could hide in, and upon finding none, slipped as far away from the crowd he could get while still keeping an eye on Claire.

Any time a boy looked at her and started to walk over to ask her to dance, he would spontaneously slip and fall, and then be to embarrassed to talk to her. Which he, of course, had absolutely nothing to do with. At all.

Claire didn't seem to notice them anyway, caught up in a conversation with Mitsuki.

He shifted his eyes away from her when a familiar approached him. "Jade." He blinked in confusion because generally she would be taking the opportunity to cling obsessively to Arden.

"Hey," she greeted. "You've been standing here like a loner so I thought I'd come and offer you a dance."

He wasn't sure how to respond. Jade repressing her memories had put a wedge between them that she never understood and he understood too well. He couldn't remember the last time they had even just talked, only the two of them. He'd been so busy trying to protect everyone that he'd neglected just doing normal brother-sister things with her.

"Sure," he agreed with awkward hesitance.

They got into a simple position, hands clasped together on one side, her other hand on his shoulder and his other on her waist. They danced, silent for the first third of the song before finally Jade piped up.

"You know, we don't spend much time together anymore," she said, echoing his earlier thoughts.

He shrugged. "You're busy with Arden and I'm busy ignoring everyone."

Her lip jerked slightly upwards. "Yeah, but… I don't get why you do that to us. I'm your twin, for God's sake!"

He avoided her searching eyes. "Just… I'm just a stupid, insecure, depressed teenager. A lot of people are. Just… forget about it."

"But _why_?" she persisted ignorantly. "_Why_ are you depressed?"

He felt a hundred razors shoot through his heart. He wanted to tell her what happened to them, to shake her senses back, make her remember how she had been depressed too, but he _couldn't_ because he couldn't handle her knowing or losing her to the darkness again. So he locked his jaw and shook her off of him. "Go—go dance with Arden, I have to leave."

She faltered unhappily. "Jamie—"

"Fuck off!" he spit, her hurt look sending another knife through him as he turned and hurried away from her. He was almost gone when he remembered that he had promised Claire—and Arden—that he would dance with her for the last song. A long list of curses shot through his head and he turned to look for Claire.

When his eyes landed on her, he felt his scowl deepen furiously. Scott was with her, holding her wrist despite that she was trying to get away from him. He stalked towards them, trying to control his anger, but when he was about two meters away, Scott started leaning towards Claire like he was going to kiss her. He shot forward the last few steps, standing between them and letting his fist connect with Scott's nose.

Scott let out a shriek, hands flying to his now bloody and possibly broken nose. He backed a few steps away from them and glared furiously at Jamie, letting out a muffled, mocking sound. "Jealous, Swift?"

He ignored the jab, turning to a rather startled Claire. "I'm leaving early. Sorry," he said, turning away again, not wanting to stick around long enough to start feeling guilty.

"Jamie—?" Claire started behind him, but he kept going, pushing passed people to get out of the suffocating room.

"Jamie, wait," Claire called as he opened the door. He slipped through it and shut it without looking back.

It opened behind him moments later, and he quickened his steps towards the special star dorms.

"Jamie," Claire said, annoyance clear in her voice.

"Go away," he replied.

"No." He heard her steps quicken until she was right behind him. "Why are you leaving? The dance won't be going on much longer anyway…"

"I don't care, it's stupid anyway," he spat. "Leave me alone."

"Fat chance," she snapped back. "Jamie, _talk to me_."

"As if I have a reason to," he said harshly.

For a moment she didn't reply. When she finally settled on her words, they were "I'm not leaving you."

The words were practically a slap to the face after he was such a dick, but he couldn't bring himself to apologize. Or say anything else on the matter.

When he was silent, she stepped up beside him, grabbing his hand—well, fist—and holding it as they continued towards the dorm.

Finally, when it was in sight and he had cooled down enough to not be a complete asshole and was feeling a lot like one, he let his hand relax and grabbed Claire's hand back, pulling her into him and pressing his face into her hair. "Sorry," he murmured, wrapping his unoccupied hand around her shoulders. "I'm an asshole."

"You make it sound like I don't know that already," she replied, trying to seem unaffected, but she was leaning into his hug.

"Yeah, well," he said, pulling away from her, blushing. "You know what the teachers say: if you're good at something, do it."

She smiled faintly, looking down at their hands but not pulling hers away. "Why were you so upset?" she asked, flicking her eyes back up to his face.

He had no intention to answer, but she squeezed his hand, and because she seemed to hold some sort of power over him, he ended up blurting, "Jade was asking questions."

She raised her eyebrows. "Questions?"

"About me and why I separate myself from other people and why I'm so unhappy," he answered automatically. "And I got annoyed because she should _know_ but she doesn't and—" He broke off, shaking his head.

She rocked on her heels, looking thoughtful. "It must be hard," she said faintly, "having a twin sister who went through things like that with you, then forgot them."

He swallowed the lump in his throat painfully. "Yes," he said, voice quivering, "it's very hard."

"Why don't you just tell her?" she whispered as Jamie started walking towards the rooms again, dragging her with him. "It's not right for you to have to go through this alone, and it's not right for her to not know herself."

"I don't—I can't…" He paused, clenching his jaw. "When it happened, I was _there_ and I could've helped but I _didn't_ and if she remembers, she could blame me and—" He paused again. "It hurt her so bad and she hated herself and wanted to die, and that was even before the rape, and I cant handle seeing her like that again, not—not again, because she was so hopeless and I was always trying to convince her that we would be fine, because I thought we_ would_ be, but I was _wrong_ and I was giving her false hope and she would hate me if she remembered what I did to her."

Claire stared at him, probably not expecting the sudden sob story he had bubbled out. "She wouldn't hate you," she said, sounding surprised. "Jamie, you try your best to protect everyone, especially her, she can't be mad about you caring too much."

He shook his head. "Claire, you don't—you don't know the whole story. I've been keeping such big secrets, things that—that shouldn't be forgiven, that can't be forgiven." He opened the door and blinked, having forgotten about the paint.

"Just because you can't forgive yourself doesn't mean that others can't forgive you," Claire argued.

"I don't want to talk about it anymore." He pushed open his door and walked inside, stepping aside to let Claire in before shutting his door.

She glanced around his room, looking embarrassed, and he remembered that the last time she had been in there, he had kissed her.

"Sorry about not dancing with you," he apologized quickly, not wanting the memory to be brought into the conversation.

"It's fine," she said simply. "I don't like dancing in front of crowds anyway. Especially with you, where Sam can clearly see me."

"Has she been bothering you? I'll push her off the roof, I swear."

She looked faintly amused, shaking her head and sitting on his bed. "No, she's been leaving me alone. I think you scared her off."

"Good," he said, relieved. He would've actually pushed Sam off the roof, but he didn't really want to get in trouble. "Sorry about her."

"Stop apologizing," she said, rolling her eyes. They landed by his trashcan. "That paper is really out of place, considering the rest of your room is clean."

"What?" He turned and blinked at the paper, just as Claire reached down and picked it up. He pulled it away from her quickly, crumpling it into a tighter ball and throwing it onto his desk.

She looked at him oddly.

"It's—I—nothing," he said intelligently, shuffling his feet and looking away from her. "Just—nothing."

She blinked at him, looking hurt. "You can talk to me, you know," she said quietly, rocking on her heels.

"I—it's not—" He stopped, the hurt expression getting to him. "It's a letter from my dad."

She jolted. "Jamie, I'm so sorry, I didn't—"

"It's fine," he interrupted. "If I didn't want anyone to see it, I should've thrown in out properly."

She pressed her lips together, holding his hand again, though he couldn't recall her grabbing it. "What," she started slowly, "what did it say?"

He shook his head as he said, "I didn't read it. I didn't want to hear his excuses."

"What if it isn't excuses?" she asked, looking at the letter worriedly. "What if he's getting released, or dying, or something?"

"Read it then," he said dryly. "I don't really care."

"That isn't—" She stopped, looking at him, seeming to realize that he _wanted_ her to read it, because he wanted to know what it said, but he couldn't bring himself to. She looked at the letter hesitantly, then back at him. "If I read it," she said slowly, "then you have to dance with me."

He looked at her stupidly, taking in her determined eyes and flushed cheeks. "But the dance will be over by the time we get there again."

She rolled her eyes at him. "If you paid attention, you'd realize you can hear the music from here."

He blinked, realizing that she was right, and he could hear the faint sound of music. "Okay," he agreed, because knowing what the letter said _and _dancing with Claire was a win-win situation. Kind of.

Looking relieved, she turned to the letter, smoothing it out, slower than she had to, probably because she was nervous to read it. When it was finally as smooth as she could get it, she pressed her lips together, trailing her eyes over the words.

It was less than a minute before she pulled her eyes away, and he blinked, having expected the letter to be long and full of bullshit.

"Um," she said awkwardly. "You should probably read it for yourself."

"Claire, I don't…"

"Do it or I won't dance with you."

He felt his mouth fall open, because he hadn't expected Claire to use herself against him. "That wasn't the deal," he protested.

"Too bad."

He scowled at her, because he wanted to know what the letter said, but didn't want to read it, and he _really_ wanted to dance with her.

After a small glaring contest, he sighed and she looked triumphant. "You're manipulative," he growled, moving to stand beside her so he could read the letter.

She didn't reply and he let his eyes slide over it, shocked at how short it was.

Only seven words stained the page.

_I'm so sorry. But don't forgive me._

That was it. He wasn't even sure how he was supposed to feel.

"Oh," he said because Claire was waiting for a reaction.

She snorted.

Then, before he could continue to stare stupidly at the letter or think of a better reaction, Claire pulled him away from it. He stared at her, surprised at the fact that she had been the first one to do something, because normally she would wait for him to make a move, then react by blushing and squeaking.

"I owe you a dance, Swift," she said. "And the DJ just declared that the last dance is starting." She moved the hand that she was holding to her waist, then grabbed his other one, her free hand going around his neck.

"Where'd this boost of confidence come from?" he asked, voice tight with desire. He moved the hand she was holding to the other side of her waist, pulling her closer.

She shrugged, simply saying, "Start dancing, Swift."

He obeyed, not really sure what else he could do. Except kiss her, but he wasn't really planning on doing that.

"Arden's going to kill me when he finds out I left early," he said, trying to start up a conversation before he did something stupid.

"He might realize I'm gone too and jump to conclusions."

Okay, that was exactly what he _didn't_ want to think about, because at the rate things were going and the way he was feeling, those conclusions would be right.

"He's good at that," he said when he noticed that Claire was waiting for a response.

"He's good at jumping to the wrong conclusions," she corrected. "I can't remember the last time he was right about something."

"I can think of plenty of times," he said, thinking of all the times that Arden had insisted that he had feelings for Claire.

She opened her mouth, probably about to ask "_When?_" before realization flushed her face, and she looked away from his eyes. "Oh. There's been a few times, I guess," she mumbled.

The comment made the conversation awkward, and it disappeared for the rest of the dance. When it ended, Claire cleared her throat. "I… I should probably go." All the former bravery seemed to have faded as she took her hands away from him, rubbing her arm awkwardly.

"No," he said, catching her wrist when she started walking passed him. "No—stay."

She flushed darkly, but didn't move her wrist out of his grip. "The dance is over – it'll be curfew soon."

"Stay here," he blurted, not really thinking before speaking. "Stay with me tonight."

She stared at him, looking so embarrassed she could've exploded. "Th-that's…"

"You said you wouldn't leave me," he said, pulling her closer to him. "So you have to stay."

"O-okay," she squeaked.

"Really?" he asked, surprised and overjoyed. "Oh, but…"

She stared at him, too dazed to question his sudden hesitance.

He twisted the fabric of her dress between his fingers. "If you sleep in your dress, it'll get ruined, won't it?"

Some of the color left her cheeks as she finally snapped out of her daze. "U-um, probably."

He pursed his lips before heading over to his dresser, dragging Claire with him. He pulled the bottom drawer open with his foot and was relieved to see some girl clothes.

Claire looked at them stupidly, then him oddly.

He blushed. "Uh—they're for Mikan or Jade in emergencies," he explained so she didn't think he liked to cross-dress.

She nodded, the odd look fading slower than he would've liked.

"You're just a bit smaller than Mikan, right?" he asked, reaching into the drawer and pulling out a t-shirt and sweat pants.

She took them, fingers trembling. "Y-yes."

"Um," he started, blushing, "you can change in my bathroom."

She nodded, looking extremely confused, like she couldn't believe that she had actually agreed to stay—_That makes two of us—_before walking into his bathroom and shutting the door quietly behind her.

When he heard the lock click, he waited two seconds before smacking himself hard in the face. _You idiot!_ His inner voice howled. _You perverted asshole, how dare you do something like this?! Have you no shame?_

Well, it wasn't like he had any ill intentions. He just wanted Claire with him. And somehow that had ended up with him inviting her to stay with him.

He kicked the drawer shut and opened the second-to-top one, pulling out his own t-shirt and pair of sweat pants. It would take Claire a minute or two to get the dress and make-up off, so he had time to change into his own sleepwear.

Of course, that didn't stop him from rushing so much he nearly put the pants on backwards.

He tossed his dirty clothes into the hamper in the corner of his room, fidgeting, before his eyes turned back to his fathers letter.

He was highly unsure of what he was supposed to think of the seven words.

Of course his father was sorry—anybody would be if they had realized they had raped their own daughter. Unless they were bat shit insane. Which his father wasn't – he was just a drunken asshole.

And obviously Jamie had no intention to of forgiving him – ever.

He would've been worried about Jade getting a similar letter, but he had made it clear that he was to get her mail, go through it, and then give it to her himself.

And she hadn't gotten one, their father probably too mortified to even try communicating with her.

"Jamie?"

He blinked, head whipping up to look at Claire, who was standing in his bathroom doorway, dress and make-up replaced with the other clothes. "Sorry," he apologized, not exactly what he was apologizing for. "I was, um…"

"It's fine," she excused, fidgeting with the shirt nervously. "I—um…"

"Is something wrong?" He stepped towards her hesitantly. "Do you—want to leave?" he asked, embarrassed beyond belief. "You can, sorry, I was being stupid and…sorry."

"No, that's not…" she trailed off.

"What's wrong?" She didn't respond. "You said earlier that I could talk to you. You can talk to me, too, you know."

She blushed. "It's nothing, really, um, I was letting my mind wander and just thought—was wondering…nothing."

"Claire…" He hesitated. "You can ask me anything, you know. So don't… don't hesitate to."

She blushed deeper, avoiding his gaze. "I was just wondering…" She stopped again, glancing at him unsurely. "I, um…"

"If you don't tell me willingly, I'll force it out of you," he mentioned casually. She still didn't spit it out. "Okay, how about I ask you something embarrassing that I want to know the answer to so you don't feel so awkward?"

She glanced at him, looking humiliated.

It didn't take him more than five seconds to think of a question that he actually was curious to know the answer to. "How many boys have you kissed?"

She looked at him, expression shocked. "That's what I was going to ask you," she admitted.

"I haven't kissed any boys, thank you very much."

She scowled at him and he blinked at her innocently. "I meant with _girls_, jerk."

"I would hope so," he said, feigning offence. He blushed when he realized he had to answer that. "I—um…one." He looked at her awkwardly. She looked at her feet, blushing but smiling faintly.

"What about you?" he persisted, feeling jealousy wash through him when she didn't answer the question right away.

"I haven't kissed any girls," she said, sticking her tongue out at him. He scowled and she continued. "…Or boys, other than you."

They both paused, processing that they had both been worried about nothing.

"Scott tried to kiss you," he said, trying to not appear as happy as he was about him having taken her lip-virginity.

"Sam's tried to kiss you," Claire retorted. "And you probably broke Scott's nose."

He inched towards her slowly. "You didn't want him to kiss you. He shouldn't have been trying to."

"You could've just told him to stop," she said as he stopped in front of her, biting her lip to stop herself from smiling.

"I could've," he agreed easily. "Can I ask you another question?"

She nodded, her eyes flicking to his lips.

"If I tried to kiss you, would you stop me?"

Her expression was answer enough, and he tilted her chin up, leaning to brush his lips across hers gently. She leaned into him, cupping his face with her hands, responding to the light kiss, trembling.

_Our first kiss probably should've been more like this,_ he thought, his body molding into Claire's. _And less hard and hungry._ Not that he minded their first kiss. It was just that they had both let their emotions take over their actions.

He pulled away from her slightly, leaning his forehead against hers and trying to make his heart beat normally. He moved his hands from Claire's face to her hips and her eyes opened, staring into his.

"I didn't answer the question," she said quietly, blushing.

He snorted, rolling his eyes, then kissed her again, quickly, before pulling away completely—and realizing they weren't alone.

"Damien, what the _fuck_!" he yelled, moving in front of Claire and glaring at the smug boy in his doorway.

"I was going to say something," he drawled, "but I think I walked in on something rather interesting. Care to explain _that_?"

Instead of answering the question, he looked at Damien and said, "Why aren't you covered in paint?"

Claire coughed to smother a laugh behind him.

Murderous rage flashed over Damien's face. "It was _you_," he hissed, instantly distracted.

"Actually, it wasn't. It was my fault that thing was put there, but it wasn't me who put it there."

"It was Taylor, wasn't it?" he spat. "You better tell me, or I won't waste a minute before going to tell him what I just walked in on."

Jamie raised his eyebrows. "You make it sound like I haven't seen you and Mitsuki before," he said casually.

Damien's face fell. _Gotcha._ "What did you see?" Damien asked testily.

"Well, definitely not you and Mitsuki in the northern hallway." He paused as Damien's face darkened. "And you were most _certainly_ not kissing the shit out of her neck. And she was _definitely_ not moaning and begging for—"

"This never happened!" Damien said loudly, and then was gone.

He turned back to Claire, who was gaping at him. "You saw _what_?" she choked.

He laughed. "I knew that would come in handy at some point."

"You saw _what_?!"

He cocked his head. "What, you didn't know about them and their, uh… romance doesn't really seem like the right word, does it?"

She stared at him, mouth hanging open. He shut it with his finger, grinning in amusement.

"Mitsuki's too good for him," she finally said.

He cocked his head. "Well, you're too good for me, but here you are."

She shook her head. "No, I—"

"Shut up."

She obeyed, so he decided she was still baffled by the whole Damien/Mitsuki thing. Or remembering once more that she had agreed to spend the night with him.

"Are you sure you want to stay here?" he asked, pulling a strand of her hair to get her attention.

She blinked, eyes focusing on him. "I told you I would. Besides, there's no class tomorrow, so it should be fine."

"Right," he said, feeling relieved that she was staying despite his concerns. "Um, well, um… you can take my bed, because I made you stay here and all."

She blinked again. "We can both sleep in your bed, Jamie," she said exasperatedly, rolling her eyes. "Just as long as you don't feel me up or something."

He sighed dramatically, trying to not show his happiness. "I'll _try_."

Even in the darkness settling over his room, he could see Claire roll her eyes once more at his antics as she settled on his bed.

He sat on the other side of it, glancing at her shyly. "Thanks for, um, you know, staying with me."

"Shut up." She trailed her fingers over his bed, looking irritated. "Why is your bed so much comfier than mine—I'm only one star below you!"

He jumped on his knees, making the bed wave. "Cause it's a waterbed," he said pleasantly, shaking it more and more.

"I get it!" she snapped when the waves nearly made her fall off the bed. "I just think it's unfair how the students get treated differently."

He fell on his side, tucking his arm under his pillow. "Guess you'll just have to sleep in here more, huh?"

"Shut up." She turned away from him and lied down. "Just go to sleep."

And yet, with Claire there, he had a feeling he would be too self-conscious to sleep. What if he snored, or drooled, or had a nightmare and kicked her out of the bed by mistake?

The mere thought made him shudder with humiliation, and the bed rippled underneath him.

"Stop shaking the bed."

"It's a waterbed! I move, it moves," he said, trying not to spontaneously throw up on her. He'd probably get let off the hook for that if he explained it was because she made him feel all weird and nervous, but still. He mentally shuddered in embarrassment to humor her, though she wouldn't know about it.

He settled down properly, watching Claire as the minutes ticked by. She didn't turn back around, but her muscles slowly relaxed until he knew she was asleep.

And yet, with Claire there…

He wasn't really bothered by the fact that he wasn't falling asleep. He was more than content to watch Claire's sleeping figure all night. _Is that creepy? That's totally creepy, I need to stop doing that thing where I think._

Claire's body shook suddenly and violently, and he jerked to attention. "Claire…?" She rolled over, still asleep, face creased in what appeared to be pain. Her once relaxed shoulders were tense and there was sweat on her forehead.

_A nightmare?_ He didn't know why, but he hadn't pinned Claire as the kind to have nightmares. Which was stupid of him – even Mikan suffered from nightmares and she was the strongest person he knew.

He shuffled forward until he was in front of Claire, then brushed the hair out of her face. "Claire," he said again. "Claire, wake up."

She jolted awake, not used to having people wake her up, then leaned away from him. "Jamie…" she trailed off, looking startled and confused.

"You were having a nightmare," he explained quietly.

She turned away from him, looking embarrassed. "So what?" she snapped, going back to refusing to look at him. "I always have nightmares. Don't wake me up."

He bit the inside of his cheek and reached for Claire, hooking his arm over her stomach and pulling her back into his chest.

"Jamie," she protested, "it's fine. I'm fine."

"Don't lie to me," he growled, pressing his face into her hair. "I have nightmares too. It's not fine. It's scary and sickening and awful. So don't complain."

It took her a few minutes to relax, but when she did, all she said was "I thought I told you not to feel me up."

* * *

><p>Claire sat on his bed silently, glancing around the empty room. "You're going to Japan."<p>

Jamie bit his lip lightly. "Yup."

Awkward silence.

"I'm sorry you're not coming…"

Claire stared at the floor. "Yeah…"

He cleared his throat. "Um, why did you come here…?"

She shrugged. "You're leaving. You don't want me to say goodbye?"

"No!" he said almost too quickly. "Um, I mean… yeah, of course I wanted to say bye to you. Why wouldn't I?"

She shrugged, and there was another moment of silence.

"Has Arden said goodbye to you yet?" she asked at last.

He nodded. "Now he's saying bye to Jade. And by saying bye I mean they're probably making out."

"Possibly."

He clicked his suitcase shut and sat beside her on the bed. "Seems like just yesterday I was moving in here, huh?"

She said nothing.

"Are you going to be sad I'm gone?" he asked, genuinely curious. He had absolutely no idea what terms him and Claire were on.

Sometimes they were flirting and the next moment they'd being wishing death on each other. Sometimes they were making out in a field of flowers, and then they would both be acting like it had never happened.

Complicated relationship indeed.

She blinked, giving him a confused look. "Are you serious? Of course I'll miss you, you idiot! We're… friends."

_Yes, that's why you hesitated on the word friends_, he thought, inwardly rolling his eyes. "Yeah, I suppose we've gotten close in the last few years." After a moment he added, "I mean, considering you hated me when we met…"

"I didn't hate you when we met," she corrected. "I hated you when you hurt Arden's feelings. And then mocked me, and threatened to hit me."

"Sorry," he muttered. "I really hate it when people butt into my personal life, y'know."

"Yeah, I tend to feel the same way."

More silence.

"I don't know why Jade's coming," Jamie said. "I think she'd much rather stay here with Arden than go with me and Mikan."

She shrugged. "You're her brother."

"She's just going to end up guilting me about it half the time we're there…"

Claire smiled slightly. "Probably."

"So, uh…" He paused awkwardly, glancing around. "This is… goodbye."

"For now," Claire added.

"Of course," he agreed with ease. "Don't think you can escape me that easily. I'll come back to America one day… and I'll stalk you. So just remember, if you suddenly notice someone following you around like a creep, it's me."

"You already do that."

He narrowed his eyes, but played along. "Damn, you saw me?"

They fell into silence once more.

"Well, uh… this is it, then," Jamie said, getting back to his feet.

Claire stood up after a moment's hesitation. "I guess it is."

They walked towards the door, Jamie watching Claire out of the corner of his eye.

She looked like she was mentally arguing with herself over something, her mouth was curved downward, and she was biting her lip anxiously.

He glanced away from her, opening his door awkwardly.

She hesitated in his doorway, turning back to look at him.

He avoided her eyes awkwardly, staring at the doorknob across the hall.

"Jamie," Claire whispered after a moment.

His eyes flicked to her own, and he blinked at the determined look in her eye. "Wh—"

He was cut off abruptly as her lips pressed hard against his.

His arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her into him, and she had one hand tangled in his hair, the other holding the front of his shirt possessively. He thought he could hear her murmur "Don't go," but his ears were filled with the sound of his rushing blood.

Then the sound of Ardens door opening.

And once again, they went from making out, to acting like it never happened.

Arden eyed the two of them and Jamie tried to not notice that his sisters hair was a hell of a lot messier than it had been before Arden had walked in. _I don't want to know._

"Well," Arden cleared his throat, "I suppose it's, uh, time…"

He felt his jaw tighten when Claire's eyes met his again. "Yeah. It's time."

* * *

><p>Mikan pulled at the end of her dress nervously.<p>

"Calm down," he whispered to her. "Everything will be fine. You look sexy," he added for her benefit.

Her lip twitched into a smile that disappeared as soon as it had arrived. "I can see so many people I used to know," she murmured. "Hotaru, Ruka, Anna, Yuu, Nonoko… _Natsume_…"

He rolled his eyes good-naturedly at her naivety. "I can't believe you still love him."

She bit her lip. "I don't. It's just hard to let go of the time before my life fell apart."

He hooked an arm around her waist. "But look at the benefits—we have each other, and that's all we need, right?"

She nodded slowly. "It's just—I don't know—what I want…" she trailed off.

"You want to go back," he said. "To the way things were. You're scared now that you're back—you're afraid that everyone's moved on from you while you're still partially clinging to them desperately."

She trembled. "God, Jamie, what if Natsume has a girlfriend?"

He smiled to himself. "His loss. I'll just have to keep you all to myself."

She smiled and nodded slightly, sucking in a deep breath. "Wish me luck up there, Jame."

He smirked. "I don't need to. You'll do great anyway."

"Stop flirting," Jade groaned.

Apparently she could make out with Arden in front of them, but they couldn't harmlessly flirt.

Yup.

Mikan rolled her eyes, clearly thinking the same thing, and walked onto the stage, emotionless mask back on behind the real one she wore to hide her face.

The crowd fell into confused silence.

Kuonji walked onto the stage a second after her to introduce her as much as he dared.

Jamie motioned to Jade, and they climbed onto the stage, heading over to their instruments without gaining attention.

Kuonji walked off a moment later, sending them a look of warning that they ignored with ease.

Mikan started her own little introduction, first telling Kuonji she hated him, then mentioning that they were doing _Paramore_ songs that her mp3 player had chosen. Someone in the crowd made a snide remark that he didn't hear, which Mikan quickly replied to rudely.

After a moment, she glanced behind her at them to signal that they were starting.

After the song, Jade rushed to bathe Mikan in compliments, to which Mikan tried to act excited, and failed miserably, which didn't seem to go noticed by Jade, as she kept blabbing on about nonsense.

After a few minutes of useless chatter, it was time for their next three songs. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he reminded himself that the songs were _Born for This, My Heart_ and _Let the Flames Begin_.

They passed in a blur, Jamie allowing his eyes to stray across the crowd.

From the pictures he had seen and the descriptions he had been told, he could name some of the people, and he made a small game of it.

Black hair and purple eyes would be Hotaru Imai, Mikan's _former_ best friend. The word _former _sent a small wave of satisfaction through him. _They_ were best friends now, and nothing would ever change that.

Blond with blue eyes would probably by Ruka Nogi.

Blue hair and matching blue eyes dancing with pink hair and blue eyes would be Nonoko and Anna.

Way at the back was a crowd of girls, all begging for a dance with who he knew instantly was Natsume Hyuuga. Black hair, red eyes.

Why did Japanese people have weird colored hair and eyes?

Maybe Damien was from Japan…

Natsume was paying no mind to any of the girls, his eyes trained on Mikan shamelessly.

Jamie inwardly sighed. It looked like neither of them had moved on, and he was going to have to deal with Mikan getting a boyfriend. Or fiancé, as it may.

Kuonji walked back onto the stage long enough to hand Mikan a note.

She read it over quickly, scowled darkly, and leaned back towards the microphone. "We would like to send our thanks to Hotaru Imai for donating money into this dance. Please come up here to receive applause."

Jamie gave Kuonji an infuriated look. He _would_ make Mikan do something like this.

Hotaru – his guess at who she was had been correct – walked onto the stage calmly, not giving Mikan a second glance as she started a small speech about money.

Jamie watched Mikan worriedly.

She was tensed nervously, staring into the crowd with a carefully blank expression, avoiding looking at Hotaru as though if she did, she'd get some sort of disease.

Finally, Hotaru leapt back off the stage and Mikan loosened up slightly, turning to Jade and him. "Let's go walk around."

He blinked. Was she insane? "We're not supposed to mingle."

"We're not mingling, I just want some freaking punch." Without waiting for a response, she hopped off the stage. "Just remember not to say each others names. Just call me Em, and Jamie can be Jay, and Jade, you can be Dee."

They arrived at the snack table, Mikan instantly reaching for a plastic cup.

"I can't believe we're doing all _Paramore_ songs," he grumbled after a moment. "Can't you do anything else?"

She rolled her eyes. "You know I can. You've known for the three and a half years I've known you."

"I've known you for four years," he corrected. "We just didn't talk until halfway through the first one." He glanced around lazily, taking note that Hotaru, who was seated nearby, was watching Mikan with a bemused expression.

Further away, Natsume was still watching Mikan as well.

Jamie stared at him for a moment before mentally shrugging. _Mine as well have some fun with this_, he thought, casually draping his arm across Mikan's shoulders, eyes still on Natsume, smirking.

Mikan didn't react, apparently not even noticing.

Natsume blinked, snapping out of his thoughts, and narrowed his eyes, before turning his gaze to Jamie angrily, looking momentarily surprised that Jamie was watching him.

He just smirked, tightening his grip slightly around Mikan.

Natsume scowled darkly, apparently not liking this.

Jamie tried not to laugh, turning his attention back to the conversation at hand.

"_Paramore's_ cool, Jamie. You like them, so why are you complaining?" Jade was saying through a mouth full of cupcake.

He made a mental note to grab one of them when they left.

"He wanted to do _Determinate, Lemonade Mouth_. Cause he likes rapping," Mikan explained.

Actually he generally hated rap. Just not in _Determinate_.

Jade looked thoughtful. "I wouldn't have minded that one either," she admitted after a moment.

"I chose the songs, not you."

"No you didn't," Jamie pointed out. "Your mp3 player did."

"I chose the last one!" Mikan snapped defensively.

Jamie snorted. "_Brick by Boring Brick_, another _Paramore_ song."

Mikan glowered at him, grabbing a cupcake. "I really don't like you," she growled, turning and starting back to the stage.

Jamie sighed, grabbing a cupcake and following her.

They sat silently on the stage until it was finally time for the last song.

Mikan hesitated slightly and stepped up to the mike. "The last song I will be singing tonight is the one I picked. It's also a _Paramore_ song." She paused to let people laugh, then continued, "But I can relate to this one. Maybe a but too much." She paused again, biting her lip. "I used to believe in fairytales, used to think I lived in one," she said quietly. "But now… well, now I'm ripping wings off of butterflies, so to speak."

He rolled his eyes slightly as they started to play, eyes trailing over the crowd again.

He frowned.

Whereas most people had partnered up to dance with someone for the last dance, Natsume was standing off to the side, eyes glazed over, still on Mikan.

He glanced at Mikan, and frowned at the look of concentration on her face.

What the hell was she doing now?

He had a feeling he didn't want to know.

* * *

><p><strong>Part Two: End<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Okay, yup, this needs three parts. This here is 70 pages and… well, I love Jamie endlessly, but I also know that if a story gets updated like twelve times in a row, I get tired of reading the huge update at some point.<strong>

**So now is the end for part two.**

**Part Three: Scars will hopefully not take that bloody long but who am I even kidding.**

**Either way, I plan on getting The Aftermath up before it.**

**And yeah, subtle lack of Mikan and Jamie moments. I'll go into that in my last authors note. (Or if you're curious, just ask.)**

**And maybe some of you now are like "Oh, Claire isn't actually that much of a bitch and she's good together with Jamie."**

…**but probably not.**

**Anyway. Reviews—I really appreciate them. And didn't get many for the last chapter. I'm not trying to sound like I'm nagging, it's just that most of my regular reviewers also didn't review and I was just like. Oh.**

**Also, real quick: any of you want to make a cover for this story? No? Oh. Okay.  
><strong>

**So many line breaks asdfgh**

**Right. Well. Kay. Bye.**


	37. Bad News

**Hey guys.**

**So I've got some of the worst news I've ever received. It isn't going to affect you guys much, except I'm not sure about how I'm going to write for awhile.**

**I've been working really really hard on Memento Mori (the Jamikan fic, info on my profile) and I'm more than halfway done! I thought I'd be able to get it up maybe in the next two months but, here's where it gets bad.**

**My teacher was murdered. She and I were really, _really_ close. I considered her one of my closest friends, and she was shot. The man that did it tried to kill himself too and is in critical condition currently. There's no information going out about it, because the only two people that could know anything are dead or in the hospital. So, yeah.**

**I don't... I don't know, guys. Right now I'm fine but I've been turning on and off with the tears and I just don't know when I'll be able to finish this. I don't know when I'll be able to post Memento Mori. I don't know when I'll be able to rewrite this trash. I don't know what to do right now. I just really want to wake up, because things like this aren't supposed to happen but she's dead and I don't know. It's different than losing someone to old age or to an accident. It was something I hadn't experienced and didn't want to, and it hurts. It hurts so much to know someone took her away.**

**Sorry that it's been so long since I've even tried to finish F&I. Sorry that it's going to be even longer now. I'm sorry.**

**I just need some time and I don't know how much of it. I'll keep trying guys, and I hope you do too.**

**Breaker of Days**


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